Avoiding Conflict Through Effective Communication

Presented By Columbus Area Labor-Management Committee

Meredith Porterfield, Program Manager

Providing Constructive Feedback

Used appropriately, constructive feedback can:

• Check perceptions

• Avoid misunderstandings

• Reinforce the good behaviors, help with positive new behaviors

• Can help individuals strengthen and grow

• Build relationships instead of destroy

Providing Constructive Feedback

Constructive feedback should never be done in a way to hurt a person or cause any

damage

Providing Constructive Feedback

What Should Not Be Done

• Want to maintain or build a person’s self-esteem, not destroy it

• Should not be threatening or eliminate a threatening environment

• Don’t give when upset or angry but must be timely

Providing Constructive Feedback

Guidelines:• May need to be done privately• Think before you speak• Consider the other person• Watch vocal tone and non-verbals• Focus on the future, way to help• Offer help to make changes and• Use “I” messages instead of “you”

messages

Providing Constructive Feedback

What’s a “YOU” message?

An ineffective message

Examples:

• You really aren’t doing your job!

• Clean up this mess! (You implied)

• You better change your attitude!

Providing Constructive Feedback

Problems with “you” messages:

• Communication ceases

• Can make people angrier

• Put on the defensive

• Damages relationship and any future attempts of building one

• Assumes guilt or fear will help change behavior

Providing Constructive Feedback

Using “I” messages:

• Reveals what a person is feeling and why – allows for venting

• Focuses on the issue, not the person

• Honest, open

• Better opportunity to continue relationship

• Puts more accountability on the other person to change

Providing Constructive Feedback

“I” messages:

• 3 parts: Express feelings Description of the behavior Effects

• Example:

I resent it (feelings) when weekly reports are late (describes behavior) and I have to work late to finish my work (effects)

Providing Constructive Feedback

Other examples:

It frustrates me when someone comes late to the meeting and we have to spend our limited time providing updates

It makes me angry when I’m interrupted because it makes me hard to make my point

Providing Constructive Feedback

Practice:A worker in the department leaves the break area

messy with dirty cups and dishes and other trash.

Come up with an “I” message. Identify the feelings, behavior and effects.

You need information from another person to finish your project but that person keeps putting off giving you the information even though you have asked several times.

Come up with “I” message. Identify the feelings, behavior and effects.

Avoiding Conflict Through Effective Communication

• For more information, assistance or facilitation for your next meeting, contact:

Columbus Area Labor-Management Committee

http://calmc.org