b uilding r esponsibility in y our c hild vicki hilliard, lsw new horizons child and family...

13
BUILDING RESPONSIBILITY IN YOUR CHILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District Social Worker

Upload: marina-walthall

Post on 01-Apr-2015

212 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

BUILDING RESPONSIBILITY IN

YOUR CHILD

Vicki Hilliard, LSWNew Horizons Child and Family Counselor

Debby Rockwood, LISW-SLancaster City Schools District Social Worker

Page 2: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

“IF YOU WANT CHILDREN TO KEEP THEIR FEET ON THE GROUND, PUT SOME

RESPONSIBILITY ON THEIR SHOULDERS.”

-ABIGAIL VAN BUREN

Page 3: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

WHY TEACH YOUR CHILD TO BE RESPONSIBLE?

Teaching your child responsibility is a tool to help them be successful in life.

Teaching your child to be responsible means training them to develop self control and healthy problem solving skills.

Learning responsibility will allow children to take accountability for their actions, and accept the consequences of their choices.

Responsible character is formed over time.

Page 4: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

RESPONSIBLE PEOPLE ACT THE WAY THEY SHOULD WHETHER OR

NOT ANYONE IS WATCHING.

Page 5: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

STEPS TO HELP YOUR CHILDREN

LEARN TO BE RESPONSIBLE:

Page 6: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

Children learn from what they see and hear, and we are

teaching our children with what we say and what we

do. What they witness can have lasting effects.

Set a good example by acting in a responsible way.

Be the person you want your children to be. Think

about your values and how you show these values to

your children. Make responsibility a family value.

MODEL RESPONSIBLE BEHAVIOR:

Page 7: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

“CHILDREN ARE LIKE WET CEMENT. WHATEVER FALL ON THEM MAKES AN IMPRESSION.”

DR. HAIM GINOTT

Page 8: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

HAVE THEM HELP OUT WITH CHORES

Children as young as 2 can learn to help out with chores. It may

take them longer, but they will learn that they can do things to be

helpful.

Do the chores along with them. Have a positive attitude about

getting these chores done. Turn it into a game; set the timer and

see if they can beat the clock.

When they are old enough, have a list of chores they are

responsible to complete each week, or let them pick which chores

they would like to do. Give allowance and let them learn how to be

responsible with their own money.

Page 9: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

USE ROUTINE CHARTSHave your child help you create a routine chart. When they are

involved in making the chart, they will be more motivated to follow

through with it.

Focus on areas that your child struggles with or has trouble

remembering to do, such as:

Morning routines

Bedtime routine

Homework completion

Use can also use charts to reinforce and encourage a desirable

behavior (sleeping in their own bed, cleaning their room, turning

in homework, …)

Page 10: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

ESTABLISH AGREEMENTS, CONSEQUENCES, AND REWARDS IN

ADVANCEWhen developing a routine or reward chart with your child, have them help you

come up with the rewards and consequences.

You and your child should decide together on a realistic reward for completing their

chart. It should be something your child is motivated to work towards. Give

encouragement and praise along the way.

If your child is not following through with their chart, you can kindly ask them,

“What was our agreement about getting your homework done?” This puts the

responsibility back on them. You are helping them to make the right choices.

If they choose not to follow through with the agreement, they must accept the

consequences. Establish what these consequences will be in advance. Be firm and

consistent when following through with consequences.

Page 11: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

USE NATURAL CONSEQUENCES WHEN THEY MAKE MISTAKES

Teaching responsibility means teaching your child to make good

choices. When good choices are made, they will experience the

positive consequences of that. When poor choices are made, they

will experience and have to accept the negative consequences.

Sometimes the consequence does not have to come from you.

Sometimes natural consequences can be more effective, and they

will teach your child to make a better choice the next time.

For example, if they lose their baseball glove, then they

may have to borrow one or sit out of practice.

Page 12: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

BELIEVE IN YOUR CHILD

Recognize your child’s strengths and abilities. Do

not focus on their failures.

Give encouragement for their efforts. Specifically

point out what you like about their behavior. This

will help motivate your child to continue making

good choices.

Believe that your child can be responsible. If you

believe in them, they will believe in themselves.

Page 13: B UILDING R ESPONSIBILITY IN Y OUR C HILD Vicki Hilliard, LSW New Horizons Child and Family Counselor Debby Rockwood, LISW-S Lancaster City Schools District

GET HELP AND SUPPORTEven adults need to ask for help. Talk to other parents,

read books, or join parent support groups.

“It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach

for it, myself.

-Joyce Maynard