banish your inner critic - facebook design lecture series
TRANSCRIPT
Banish Your Inner Critic
Denise R. Jacobs Facebook DLS Menlo Park, CA 17 September 2015
@denisejacobs
#banishyourcritic
Want the slides? Go here:
creativedo.se/facebookdls-ic
Photo by Derek Kearney
Wait…What?!
Founder + CEO, The Creative Dose http://TheCreativeDose.com/
Upon a time… http://www.behance.net/gallery/Once-Upon-a-Time/2918365
29 June http://www.flickr.com/photos/jblndl/3154255478/
I was going to be a writer! Photo: Denise Jacobs
Instead of creativity Photo from Flickr.com
Destructivity http://www.flickr.com/photos/kevygee/3265941065/
The voices in my head were merciless http://www.flickr.com/photos/epsos/4887528060/
I totally freaked out
I shouldn't be writing this I misrepresented myself
I don't know enough This should be someone else’s book
I’m going to look stupid Everyone will see that I’m a fake What if it's not good enough? What if I'm not good enough?
No…really!
2 days http://www.flickr.com/photos/fiery-phoenix/8428079916/
Worked non-stop https://www.flickr.com/photos/53611153@N00/5827849044/
Pushed myself to burn-out
http://www.flickr.com/photos/44085287@N05/4052943367/
My internal critical voices http://www.flickr.com/photos/mikeapalooza/553545517/
Made this happen
https://www.flickr.com/photos/70938871@N05/8230432077
Physical evidence of fear http://www.flickr.com/photos/grumpyfeline/4626401443/
A different kind of fear Photo: Denise Jacobs
Internalized criticisms + fears
https://www.flickr.com/photos/remoto/5313967682
= The Inner Critic https://www.flickr.com/photos/acerriteno/3484093889/
F.E.A.R. =
http://cdnpix.com/show/imgs/7a361666e107cd36656d5a66ea2e4e80.jpg
Or…
https://twitter.com/Phishtitz/status/474661495935365120
YES! (…and…) https://www.flickr.com/photos/willsan/3780293130
The enemy of creativity
http://www.flickr.com/photos/richardwinchell/130344669/
Creative brainwaves http://uniteunderfreedom.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/Brain-waves.jpg
Know your brainwaves
Stress & frustration
https://www.flickr.com/photos/corneveaux/3248566797/
Suppress generative impulses in the brain
https://www.flickr.com/photos/birthintobeing/11841180046
Dampens creative expression http://www.flickr.com/photos/anieto2k/8156999698/
How to ID your Inner Critic http://www.flickr.com/photos/lambdachialpha/203904103/
Listen for internal critical talk http://brenebrown.com/2014/04/08/daring-interview-series-meet-gavin-aung/
“OMG, I’m SO busy!”
“I should have done more by now…” http://www.flickr.com/photos/kharied/3315558702/
“They’ll find out I’m a fraud”
“I don’t know enough”
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/66/Einstein_1921_by_F_Schmutzer.jpg
(You can be intimidated into this, btw)
vs. “NAILED IT!” https://www.flickr.com/photos/paul-drummond/3946893897
Impostor Syndrome Paradox
http://www.flickr.com/photos/x1brett/2279939232/
You will only experience impostor syndrome when you are competent and skilled.
(re-read this as many times as necessary.)
“It needs to be FLAWLESS” http://www.flickr.com/photos/diepuppenstubensammlerin/7648792510/
“I’ll do it tomorrow…”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/irrezolut/2311904560/
“Really, I’ll do it tomorrow.”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/irrezolut/2311904560/
“I will do it tomorrow!”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/irrezolut/2311904560/
Feed each other
Afflicts ALL of us!
http://comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com/jimmy-fallon-the-unsinkable-legend-part-2 (@ 8:15)
“…I don’t have what these people want to see – they want to see a funny guy! That’s not me.” - Jerry Seinfeld, Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee
https://www.flickr.com/photos/97477873@N00/13016287284/
You’re not alone http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-b1-baSAE8ZI/VDM3BbuiaFI/AAAAAAAABKk/l91FBGvSgkA/s1600/IMAGE_437.jpg
In order for http://www.flickr.com/photos/designandtechnologydepartment/4771136128/
You need brain management
“You must be unintimidated by your own thoughts because if you [try to create] with someone looking over your shoulder, you'll never [create].” – Nikki Giovanni
https://www.flickr.com/photos/nrbelex/2247397943/
“The goal is to manage anxiety so that our energies are used for the productive and satisfying art of creating…
…rather than the destructive and debilitating art of self-torture. “ - Clare Warmke, Idea Revolution
How do we…
http://www.flickr.com/photos/opensourceway/5445602998/
Banish the Inner Critic?
https://www.flickr.com/photos/31505964@N08/4691019168/
Eliminate “Have to/Should/Must/Ought”
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mythoto/3822942678/
Replace with “I choose/ I decide/ I will” https://www.flickr.com/photos/mstry-2525-gst/3312199285/
Say NO to Comparisons http://www.flickr.com/photos/suvodeb/2559017400/
(Btw, this your new mantra…) http://www.spunkysapphire.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/photo-1-e1406074730116.jpg
Ask it questions
http://www.flickr.com/photos/opensourceway/4749432145/
Be compassionate http://www.flickr.com/photos/wrote/2646295354/
Reassign duty
http://www.flickr.com/photos/shavawnmarie/1326123397/
Remember your successes http://www.flickr.com/photos/pocait/2847866615/
(My personal version) Photo: Denise Jacobs
Cop a Power Pose
“Our bodies change our minds, our minds change our behavior, and our behavior changes our outcomes.” - Amy Cuddy, Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are TED talk
Breaking the loop
Perfectionism http://www.flickr.com/photos/diepuppenstubensammlerin/7648792510/
“Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order.” ― Anne Wilson Schaef
The real problem
http://cuttingthecheese.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/26810560251953842_ede18tng_f.jpg
Perfectionists focus on the finished product…
https://www.flickr.com/photos/phatcontroller/3667889959/
Rather than the process http://www.flickr.com/photos/spyndle/474122586/
“The Best” vs “The most” https://www.flickr.com/photos/villify/10871945326
Amen! https://twitter.com/dickelippe/status/581204005013078016/photo/1
Fear of being judged https://www.flickr.com/photos/jdlasica/12825451433/
Remember egocentricity
Decouple performance from identity https://www.flickr.com/photos/krissen/6824608878
“You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”
― Dr. Maya Angelou
Fear of failure
http://www.flickr.com/photos/laughingsquid/2717325940/
http://culturecatch.com/files/images/after-earth.jpg
“Fear is not real. It is a product of the
thoughts you create. Do not misunderstand
me. Danger is very real. But fear is a choice.”
- character of Cypher Raige, After Earth
Reframe and embrace failure http://www.flickr.com/photos/danielagama_fotografando/4029208908/
And mistakez
https://www.flickr.com/photos/stevendepolo/4498817330/
“Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.” - Henry Ford
“Being right keeps us in place. Being wrong forces us to explore.” – Steven Johnson, Where Good Ideas Come From
Embrace the “SFD” Twitter, circa 2006
Copy the #fail masters Photo: Denise Jacobs
http://www.flickr.com/photos/seandreilinger/959864706/
Take steps, #FAIL; Go again!
Satisfice https://www.flickr.com/photos/sleepyvalley/3650673328
Be bad/make it ugly https://www.flickr.com/photos/kpwerker/6051104684
Clear the pipes: Morning Pages https://www.flickr.com/photos/juliejordanscott/4970674253//
Perfection ≠ Excellence
https://www.flickr.com/photos/kaldoche/4771465356
Procrastination
http://www.flickr.com/photos/irrezolut/2311904560/
The trick is not self-identifying…
http://20px.com/blog/2013/09/06/a-field-guide-to-procrastinators/
Nor administering a dose of
https://www.flickr.com/photos/116357579@N08/13178367583
Increase the meaning/value
http://www.flickr.com/photos/eyeliam/2460475510/
Mind Tricks https://www.flickr.com/photos/32135758@N02/5325454434/
Don’t do it, just get ready to Photo: Denise Jacobs
“Structured procrastination” https://www.flickr.com/photos/superamit/1043379069
Time & Space Tricks http://www.flickr.com/photos/indraw/4857101224/
Eliminate distractions
From “Shit Black Girls Say”, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXDpfhehb6I
Ignore to focus
Tools RescueTime.com GetConcentrating.com HeyFocus.com
Browser Extensions Firefox: LeechBlock Idderall Google Chrome: Strict Workflow StayFocusd Website Blocker
Aids for digital blocking
Added bonus HeyFocus.com
Airplane/Do Not Disturb mode
http://www.flickr.com/photos/pieterouwerkerk/699475144/
Make it a Sprint
http://www.flickr.com/photos/lucamascaro/4975166968/
Fill a Quota
https://www.flickr.com/photos/teosaurio/3392883329/
Remember this: Photo: Denise Jacobs
My story’s end? http://www.flickr.com/photos/sonialuna/2942020058/
February http://www.flickr.com/photos/doug88888/3709856898/
#FAIL https://www.flickr.com/photos/dafnecholet/5374200948
#WINNING! http://www.flickr.com/photos/clappstar/6297835482/
I wrote my first book! Photo: Denise Jacobs
https://www.flickr.com/photos/thatconference/9532425040/
Which created AMAZING things for me
Bad dreams https://www.flickr.com/photos/agroffman/4613265988
My own inner creative child
“The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday—but never jam to-day.”
“It MUST come sometimes to ‘jam to-day’,” Alice objected.
“No, it can’t,” said the Queen. “It’s jam every OTHER day: to-day isn’t any OTHER day, you know.”
— from Through the Looking Glass & What Alice Found There, by Lewis Carroll
“Jam” = Reward / Satisfaction https://www.flickr.com/photos/macati/2180421766
YOU NEVER GET JAM http://www.alice-in-wonderland.net/alicepic/through-the-looking-glass/2book42.jpg
By sharing my experience Photo: Deloria Jacobs
Show you there is an alternative https://www.flickr.com/photos/buttersponge/4955768144
“The creative adult is the child who survived after the world tried killing them, making them ‘grown up’….
https://www.flickr.com/photos/9422878@N08/9220121158/
…The creative adult is the child who survived the blandness of schooling, the unhelpful words of bad teachers, and the nay-saying ways of the world.” – Ursula K. L Guin
https://www.flickr.com/photos/theburiedlife/2167001643/
By understanding this truth
You’ll look at yourself differently https://www.flickr.com/photos/edenpictures/3460562429
Your imperfect, amazing ideas
http://www.flickr.com/photos/bcymet/3564484236/
Because, after all…
https://www.flickr.com/photos/aoberg/9652158212
The End Photo: Denise Jacobs
Get the slides!
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My upcoming book! Banish Your Inner Critic
DeniseJacobs.com/InnerCritic
26 Effective Techniques for Unleashing Productive Creativity
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Thank you! http://www.flickr.com/photos/theredproject/3302110152/