Birth to six years is the time in your child’s life known as the early years. Children go through big changes from the time they are newborns to when they are six years old. But it’s not just their bodies that grow. Children learn many different skills in the early years, including walking and talking. They also learn how to express their feelings and get along with others. The experiences, relationships and skills your children develop during the early years will affect them throughout their lives. The early years shape the person your child will become

Basic baby care

Caring for Your Baby

How do I meet my baby’s emotional needs when I am so busy with her physical needs, such as bathing her, feeding her and changing her diaper?

In the beginning it might feel like all you are doing is looking after your baby’s physical needs. When you change your baby’s diaper, feeding her or bathe her, it is also the perfect time for you to interact with your baby. Sing, talk and play with your baby. This is how you can get to know each other, and how your baby learns you can be depended upon.

If I leave my baby lying down for a long time, he starts to cry. He seems to want to be held all the time. Why is this?

When babies are awake, they love to be held and carried around. Carrying your baby gives her (or him) a sense of love and security. It also is a great way for your baby to participate in everyday life and learn what is going on around them.

What do I need to do to keep my baby safe while bathing and diapering her?

It is very important never to leave your baby unattended in the bath or at the place you are changing your baby’s diaper. It only takes a second for your baby

to fall off the change table or under the water. Also, the bath water should be warm. Never add warm or hot water while your baby is in the bath.

Nutrition Breast milk: baby’s perfect food

I am a new mom and I feel a lot of pressure to breastfeed. Why is breastfeeding best for babies, anyway?

There are so many reasons why breast milk is best for babies:

• Breastfed babies are healthier. They are much less likely to get ear infections, colds, flus, vomiting or diarrhea.

• Breastfed babies are less likely to have allergies. • Breastfed babies may have extra protection from Sudden Infant Death

Syndrome. • Breast milk gives your baby the nutrients he (or she) needs. In fact, your

breast milk changes as your baby grows and his needs change. • Breast milk is easy to digest. • Breast milk is always the right temperature. • Breast milk is always fresh. • Breastfeeding helps a mother and her baby feel close and get to know each

other.

I always hear how good breastfeeding is for the baby. Is there any benefit for the Mom?

Breastfeeding is a win-win situations for babies and mothers:

• Breastfeeding helps the mother’s uterus (womb) go back to its original shape more quickly.

• Breastfeeding helps mothers lose extra weight they have may have gained during pregnancy.

• Breastfeeding is convenient. No one has to spend time getting bottles ready or cleaning them.

• It makes a mother feel good to know she is the only one who can nourish her baby by breastfeeding.

• Breastfeeding may lower a woman’s risk of cancers of the breast, ovaries and uterus (womb).

• Breastfeeding doesn’t cost any money!

I recently started breastfeeding. I thought it would be easy but I am having some problems. What should I do?

Breastfeeding is natural but not always easy. Mothers and babies need to learn how together. A public health nurse, your midwife, a breastfeeding expert (called a lactation consultant) or La Leche League leader can help you with any problems or questions. You can also ask other women in your life who are breastfeeding or have breastfed for support and advice. It is great that you are looking for help. Don’t give up if breastfeeding isn’t easy at first or if it is uncomfortable for you. Almost all breastfeeding problems can be solved with some help and advice.

My maternity leave is up and I don’t know how I can keep breastfeeding. Do you have any suggestions?

It doesn’t mean you have to stop breastfeeding if you have to leave your baby with someone else during the day. You can nurse your baby yourself in the parts of the day you are home, for example before you go to work and when you are home in the evening. You can also learn to express your breast milk. Then your babysitter or family member can give feed your breast milk to your baby when you are not there. A public health nurse, lactation consultant or La Leche League leader can help you learn how to express and store your breast milk, and how to warm it up properly before feeding.

Healthy eating

When should I introduce solid foods to my baby?

For the first months, breast milk (or formula) is all the food your baby needs. By six months most babies are ready for solid food.

How will I know my baby is ready to have solid food?

Each baby is different. You’ll know it’s time for solid food when:

• Your baby is interested when others are eating. • Your baby can hold his (or her) head up without help. • Your baby watches food with his eyes. • Your baby opens his mouth when he sees food. • Your breastfed baby is still hungry, even with nursing eight to 10 times in

24 hours.

• Your formula-fed baby is still hungry, even with drinking 40 ounces (1.2 litres) of formula in 24 hours.

How to start feeding solids

The first solid food you should offer your baby is iron-fortified infant cereal, such as Pablum.

• Start with iron-fortified rice cereal, which is less likely to cause allergies. Mix the dry cereal with breast milk, formula or water. The prepared cereal should be warm, not hot.

• Start by using enough liquid to make the cereal quite watery. As your baby learns to eat cereal, gradually use less liquid.

• First feed your baby breast milk or milk from a bottle, as you usually do. After one of the feedings, offer your baby some infant cereal.

• Only feed your baby when he is alert and interested in feeding. To prevent choking, make sure your baby is sitting up during feedings. Don’t add infant cereal to a bottle. It may cause your baby to choke.

• To start, give your baby just one small spoonful of the cereal. Slowly, give a larger amount each day until you are giving your baby one or two tablespoons of cereal. Then, give him cereal two times a day.

• Watch for signs your baby has had enough. Stop feeding the cereal if your baby turns his head away or spits the cereal out.

• Before you give your child a new kind of food, always wait three days. This way, if your baby has a problem with the food, you will know which food is causing it.

• When your baby is taking infant cereal at least two times a day, try another infant cereal. The best order of cereals is rice, barley, oatmeal and then mixed cereal.

6 to 8 months

Vegetables

• After your baby is eating different cereals, he can try puréed vegetables. Puréed food is blended and smooth so your baby won’t choke.

• Start with smooth, puréed vegetables, like squash, turnip, peas or sweet potatoes. Feed one or two teaspoons of a new vegetable at first.

Fruit

• After your baby has tried several different vegetables, he can try puréed fruit.

• Try not to give your baby fruit desserts. Many fruit desserts have added sugar your baby doesn’t need

• Start with unsweetened puréed fruit such as applesauce, peaches or pears, or mashed bananas.

• Give your baby small amounts at first. Give one fruit at a time, at least three days apart.

• If your baby can drink from a cup, you can start giving him fruit juice. Your baby needs to learn how to drink from a cup, so don’t give him juice in a bottle. It may promote tooth decay. Don’t give your baby more than four ounces (125 ml) in one day. That way, your baby won’t fill up on juice and will be able to eat the nutritious foods you give him.

8 to 12 months: Meat and alternatives

After your baby is eating a variety of cereals, vegetables and fruits, you can give foods that have protein. Around this time your baby begins chewing food. Offer her finely-chopped or ground meat. You can mash softer foods with a fork, such as cooked dried beans, peas or lentils, tofu or cooked egg yolk. (Don't give your baby egg whites before one year because of the possibility of allergies.)

8 to 12 months: Grain products

In addition to offering your child iron-fortified infant cereal, try some other grain products. They make great finger foods. Try foods such as:

• Bread crusts. • Thick bread sticks. • Dry toast. • Crackers. • Plain cereals such as Cheerios. Keep offering your child iron-fortified

infant cereal until your child is two years old.

9 to 12 months: Milk products

• Yogurt is a good way to give your baby milk products. Try plain yogurt before flavoured yogurt. Make sure the yogurt is not sweetened with honey.

• Try soft cheeses and small pieces cheese. Cottage cheese is good for babies. You can mash the lumps or leave them in.

• If your baby is at least nine months old and is eating a variety of foods, you can give him homogenized cow’s milk (3.5% milk fat, or M.F.). Don't give your child 2%, 1% or skim cow’s milk, rice beverage or soy beverage before he is two years old. All of these drinks are low in fat. Babies need fat for healthy brain development. Important: Don't give your baby honey or foods that contain honey before

one year. Honey can contain botulism spores which will make your baby very sick.

Family foods

• After your baby has been introduced to the food groups and becomes better at chewing, he will be able to eat more of the foods you and your family eat. Just make sure the foods are soft and in small pieces.

• You can give your baby pieces of food that he can handle without much help. Give your child pieces of soft peeled fruit or cooked vegetables, cheese cubes or pieces of bread.

• Give your baby milk, juice or water in a cup. It will be messy at first, but that’s how babies learn to feed themselves!

• By one year of age, your baby should be eating a variety of foods from Canada's Food Guide to Healthy Eating. The four food groups in Canada's Food Guide to Healthy Eating are grain products, vegetables and fruit, milk products, and meat and alternatives. You can get a copy of Canada’s Food Guide to Healthy Eating from your local public health unit (Go back to the main topic list and click on Community resources and services.

How much food should I give my child, and how often?

• Children need to eat every few hours because their stomachs are small, and they can’t hold much food at one time. Children need five or six small meals or snacks per day.

• Healthy meals and snacks based on Canada’s Food Guide to Healthy Eating give children all the nutrients they need.

• Canada’s Food Guide to Healthy Eating sets out the number of servings a person needs from a specific food group each day. A child-size serving is one half to a full adult serving, depending on your child’s age and appetite:

Grain products: 5 to 12 servings each day Vegetables and fruit: 5 to 10 servings each day Milk products: 2 to 3 servings each day Meat and alternatives: 2 to 3 servings each day You can choose toward the lower number of servings for children.

What is a child-size serving?

In the grain products group, examples of one serving are:

- 1/2 to one slice of bread - 1/3 to 3/4 cup of hot cereal - 1/4 to 1/2 bagel - 1/4 to 1/2 cup pasta or rice In the vegetables and fruit group, examples of one serving are: - 1/2 to 1 medium-size fruit or vegetable - 1/4 to 1/2 cup fresh, frozen or canned vegetables or fruit - 1/2 to 1 cup salad - 1/4 to 1/2 cup juice In the milk products group, examples of one serving are: - 1 to 2 slices processed cheese or 25 to 50 grams (1 to 2 ounces) hard cheese - 1/3 to 3/4 cup yogurt - 1 cup milk Toddlers and preschoolers should drink two cups of fluid milk every day. In the meat and alternatives group, examples of one serving are: - 1 egg - 25 to 50 grams (1 to 2 ounces) meat, poultry or fish - 1/4 to 1/2 cup beans - 1/4 to 1/3 cup tofu

How to prevent choking

The foods most likely to cause choking are foods which are round and hard, such as candy, nuts, popcorn, whole grapes and wieners. Very sticky foods, such as peanut butter that is not spread on bread, can also cause choking. Children under three are most at risk for choking.

Prevent choking:

• Always stay with your child when he is eating. • Make sure your child is sitting up straight while eating. • Cut whole grapes and melon balls in half and pieces of wieners in narrow

length-wise pieces. • Wait until your child is at least three to four years old before giving nuts,

seeds and popcorn.

NOTE ABOUT NUTS: You should not give your child any products made from nuts before he is one year of age. If there is a history of nut allergies in your family, talk to your doctor about if, when and how you should give your child nuts. Your doctor may recommend that you see an allergy specialist to test your child for a nut allergy.

Health

Your child’s health

If my child has a fever do I have to take them to the doctor right away? If you are worried about your child’s fever, never hesitate to call or go to your doctor. Sometimes fever is a good thing; the body’s temperature rises in order to fight infection. Here is some information about fever:

• Normal body temperature is around 37 degrees Celsius (98 degrees Fahrenheit).

• A child has a fever when: o A rectal temperature shows 38.5˚C (101.3˚F) or higher; o An axillary (armpit) temperature or ear temperature shows 38˚C

(100.4˚F).

The best way to take temperature if your baby is under one year of age is axillary or rectally.

• If your baby has a fever and is three months old or less, call your doctor. • If your child has a fever along with other symptoms such as vomiting,

diarrhea, pain in the ear, a cough that lasts a long time, unexplained drowsiness, crying or pain, take your child to see the doctor.

Remember fever itself is not dangerous. A fever tells you that your child has some kind of infection.

If my child has a high fever or diarrhea, do I have to worry about dehydration?

Yes – dehydration (a loss of body fluids which are made up of water and salts) is a very serious problem and it can happen very quickly in young children. Check for dehydration by making sure your child urinates (pees) regularly, and check to see that her (or his) mouth is still moist. If your child is very listless (without energy), it could be because of dehydration. If you suspect dehydration in your child, take her to the hospital right away.

Every time I go to my doctor I forget to ask something. What should I do?

A doctor’s visit can go by very quickly. It is very easy to forget some of the things you wanted to ask your doctor. It helps to bring a list of your questions with you. Never worry about asking a ‘stupid’ question. You are taking care of your child, and it’s important that you understand what the doctor tells you. Don’t be shy to ask the doctor to repeat something or to explain something you don’t understand. If you don’t feel you get good answers to your questions, you have the right to go to another doctor to get a second opinion. For more information contact:

• Your local public health unit • Your child’s doctor • Telehealth Ontario Information Line (1-866-797-0000)

Your child’s teeth

When will by baby get her first teeth?

A baby’s first teeth appear before her (or his) first birthday. The teeth work their way through the baby’s gums – this process is called teething. The first teeth normally appear between six and 10 months of age, with the rest

following over the next two to three years. Later the baby teeth will fall out and 32 adult teeth will come in, most between six and 12 years of age.

My baby is having a lot of discomfort because of her teeth coming in. What can I do to make her more comfortable?

Teething can cause some discomfort for babies. Your baby may drool, be cranky and irritable, have red cheeks and red, swollen gums, or show a need to chew on things. You can help your baby by:

• Massaging an irritated, swollen gum with your finger for a couple of minutes. • Massaging the gum with a clean, wet cloth that has been chilled. • Giving your baby a piece of chilled banana. (Don’t give your baby hard foods

such as raw carrots that could cause choking.) • Giving your baby an infant’s dose of acetaminophen (an over-the-counter

pain reliever) for one day, if the above suggestions don’t help. Do not use over-the-counter gels for teething unless your doctor tells you to.

How should I care for my baby’s teeth?

Good dental habits, right from the beginning, help protect against tooth decay. Tooth decay is caused by plaque. Plaque forms and builds up from food left on the teeth, and not enough brushing. Here’s what you can do to care for your baby’s teeth:

• Give your baby fruit juice in a cup, not a bottle. Don’t leave your baby with a bottle all night. When liquids other than water stay in the mouth for a long time, children can get a severe form of tooth decay.

• Before your baby has teeth, massage the gums with a clean washcloth. After the teeth come through the gums, use a soft toothbrush.

• Clean your child’s teeth at least two times a day, and especially before bed. Help your children brush until you feel sure that they can do this properly themselves. Having a set routine for cleaning teeth teaches your children a habit they will keep all their lives.

What about toothpaste?

• Before your child is three years of age, use water to brush his teeth. Children who use fluoride toothpaste when they are very young can develop white or brown spots on their teeth. This happens because children swallow the toothpaste. If you live in a rural area which does not have fluoride added to the drinking water, contact your local public health unit for information on how to take care of your child’s teeth before they are three years old.

• Start using fluoride toothpaste when your child is three years old. Toddlers cannot brush their teeth properly, so you will have to do it for them. Use a small amount of toothpaste on the brush, about the size of a match head. Be

sure to rinse toothpaste from your child’s mouth and do not let your child swallow or eat toothpaste.

When should I take my child to the dentist?

Start taking your child to the dentist at two years of age. Explain that a dentist is a doctor for your teeth. Let your child know what to expect, such as the big chair and bright light. Most dentists know how to make children feel comfortable. If you are anxious about going to the dentist yourself, don’t let your child know, so they do not become anxious too. For more information contact:

• Your family dentist • Your local public health unit

Your baby’s sight

When should I get my baby’s eyesight checked?

It’s important to take your child to either an optometrist or an ophthalmologist for a complete eye examination by three years of age. If you suspect a problem with your child’s vision before that, you can take your child to an eye doctor much earlier. Babies as young as six months can be examined. The sooner a problem can be treated, the better. Eye examinations should also be done before your child starts school, and every year after that until age 19.

Symptoms that may mean a problem with your child’s vision:

Does your child:

• Squint or frown a lot? • Rub her eyes a lot? • Close or cover one eye? • Turn or tilt her head when looking at things? (This may mean she is using one

eye more to see things.) • Hold things very close to her face? • Lose interest quickly or become cranky with activities that are close to her? • Touch things to help figure out what they are?

What about how your child’s eyes look?

• Does one eye turn in or out at any time? • Do her eyes water a lot? • Do her eyes look red or swollen or crusty?

• Does she get eyelid infections a lot?

If you said “yes” to any of these questions, take your child to an eye doctor (optometrist or ophthalmologist) for a complete eye examination.

For more information contact:

• Your local public health unit • INFOline (to find the Infant Hearing Program in your area) • Ontario Association of Optometrists

Where do I get my child immunized?

Children can be protected from some diseases through immunization, in which they are given vaccines, usually by injections. (Injections are often called ‘shots’ or ‘needles’.) Immunization gives your children a better chance at being healthy. Children who are not immunized against diseases – such as whooping cough or measles – can get very sick or even die if they get one of these diseases. Some children may have soreness, swelling and redness where the vaccine was given. Some children may get a fever after the shot. Talk to your doctor about what to do if this happens to your child. Call your doctor, your public health clinic or your community health centre, and make an appointment to get your child immunized. You should keep a record of the shots your child has had (the names and dates of the vaccines). You will need to show this record when your child goes to school or daycare in Ontario. You can get a yellow immunization card from your doctor or your local public health unit.

What diseases can I immunize my children against?

The following vaccines are paid for by the government:

• Diphtheria • Pertussis (Whooping Cough) • Tetanus (lockjaw) • Polio • Haemophilus B (Hib) • Measles (red measles) • Mumps • Rubella

The following vaccines are paid for the Ontario government but are not required by law:

• Hepatitis B (the Ontario government pays for these shots for children in Grade 7).

• Influenza (the flu); the Ontario government pays for these shots for everyone.

There are also vaccines which are recommended against other diseases. These vaccines are not paid for by the government in all provinces, and are not required by law. You should ask your doctor about these vaccines:

• Pneumococcal vaccine (against a bacterial disease) • Meningococcal vaccine (against a bacterial disease). • Varicella (against chicken pox).

Ask your doctor or public health unit for the most up-to-date schedule for immunization.

Parenting

The bond between parents and children

How do I let my children know they can count on me?

Your children want to know that they can count on you for comfort and care. In the early years the best way to show your children you can be counted on is how you respond to their crying. If you respond quickly to comfort your baby when she is crying, she will learn that you can be trusted to take care of her. This helps your baby feel safe and bonded.

If I run to my baby too quickly every time he cries, won’t I spoil him?

You can never spoil a baby by responding to their crying. Babies aren’t ‘spoiled’ if someone responds to their cries. This is the best way to love them.

Some ideas to try for comforting your baby:

• Look right at your baby’s face and eyes to try to figure out what is bothering your baby. Seeing your face close up often can help calm your baby.

• Hold your baby close. Talk quietly and calmly or sing gently. Tell a story or let your baby know what is going on in the room.

• Cuddle, kiss and rock your baby.

Remember to touch and talk to your baby. Respond to your baby’s cries. That helps your baby feel loved, safe and secure.

Fathers matter

I have just become a new father, and I feel that my baby son is with his mother all the time breastfeeding. What can I do to get to know him?

There are many important things you can do to get close to your child, whether he is a newborn or toddler. Here are some examples:

• Change your baby’s diapers. • Cuddle with your child, and give him hugs and kisses. • Bathe, talk, read and sing to your baby. • Take your baby for walks. • Play with your child. • Take your child to the library or a community program. • Take your child to play in the park. • Put your children to bed. • Have fun together. Be silly! Make funny faces and make your baby laugh.

The most important thing you can do for your child is show him that you love him and that he has your attention. Spend time with your child.

Your family

My baby is six weeks old and I don’t seem to have any time for myself, others or anything else. What can I do?

When your baby first arrives you will find that you have very little time for the other relationships in your life such as your partner, parents and friends.

Here are some tips to help balance parenting with other areas of your life:

• Let others know how you are feeling. • Share the work. Find ways to share the household tasks. Let someone else

shop, cook, clean and do laundry for the first while. • Let a trusted friend or relative care for your child for a little while. The time

away will help you to relax and renew your energy.

My child keeps pestering me and whining, and I feel like I am losing my mind. What can I do?

No matter how prepared you are and how much you love your child, there will be times when you feel really stressed – times when you think you are ‘losing it’ and just ‘can’t cope.’ If you feel this way, call someone you trust. If you don’t have someone to talk to, call your local distress line or the Parent’s Helpline.

My husband and I have not been getting along. There has been a lot of yelling and pushing and shoving. I noticed my son is not doing as well in school lately. Could this be because of the family trouble?

Yes, your family situation could be effecting your son’s performance in school. A family should be a safe and loving place. When children live around anger or violence (even if that violence is only between the adults) they become upset and frightened.

Some things to remember:

• Under Canadian law, physical violence between people is a crime, no matter where or why the violence happens.

• Help for all the family is out there. If you are living in a violent situation, the police, telephone distress services, women’s shelters and family counseling agencies know who can help.

• Children need to talk about conflict between their parents. They need to hear that they did not cause the problems.

My daughter has been acting up ever since her new baby brother was born. Is this normal?

It is normal and common for a first child to feel jealous of a new baby.

Here are some hints for helping your child deal with this big change:

• Give your older child some new, easy tasks. These new responsibilities will make your child feel more grown up, and it will show her she is an important part of the family.

• Try to make some time each day to spend alone with your other children.

When new mothers feel sad

I have been feeling very sad and anxious in the last little while since my daughter was born. Is this normal?

Many women have feelings of sadness and anxiety, and/or have mood swings after their baby is born. Sometimes people call this the ‘baby blues.’ This is very common. The feelings usually go away in a few weeks. If these sad feelings stay or get worse, you may be suffering from Postpartum Depression (PPD). This is very serious, and you shouldn’t try to deal with it alone. If you feel you may be experiencing PPD, contact your doctor right away.

How do I know if I have Postpartum Depression?

Here is what to watch for:

• You don’t enjoy your new baby. • You have trouble sleeping, or feel exhausted even when you have had a good

sleep. • You always feel worried or anxious. • You don’t have an appetite, or you gain a large amount of weight. • You feel guilty and/or worthless. • You feel hopeless about the future. • You feel sad, and cry often. • You have scary thoughts of harming yourself and/or your baby.

Postpartum Depression can be very serious. It is important that you get help right away – for example, from your doctor or public health nurse.

Your child’s behaviour

Learning how to manage children’s behaviour is one of the hardest tasks for parents. Remember that it’s okay if you don’t know how to handle every situation. Every parent feels that way sometimes. You have to learn how to be a parent. Remember: nobody’s perfect.

Teaching good behaviour

First, be realistic. Your child isn’t going to get it right the first time you teach him (or her) something.

What can I expect from my child?

Children behave differently as they get older. For example, children under three are too young to follow most rules.

From birth to 1 year:

Babies can’t understand or follow any rules. They only know what they feel.

1 to 2 years:

Children at this age start to understand some words and simple directions. For example, if you ask your toddler to help you put toys in a box, he can follow what you’re doing. He may not want to follow you, however, because a toddler’s favourite word is “No!” Be patient. You will probably have to tell and show your child the same thing over and over.

2 to 3 years:

Toddlers at this age are better at talking and listening. They can understand some of what you say, but they still need a lot of help following directions. For example, you can say “It’s time to get dressed now. Let’s put on your socks.” Your child will need help putting socks on, but he can help pull them up. Children are too young at this age to share or play fair without your help. At about 2-1/2 years, it’s normal for children to become bossy and moody. At this age, they often find it hard to fit into a group and may not be able to co-operate with other children.

3 to 5 years:

Children’s behaviour changes a lot in these years. They may be calm and co-operate with you sometimes, and other times, they may not want to do what you want. Your child is getting close to school age and may be able to follow simple rules. For example, when you say “We’re leaving now. It’s time to get your coat,” your child will be able to bring the coat to you. Children start to care about people’s feelings at this age. They need you to tell them what is right and wrong. When your child does something wrong, tell him it was wrong and why. Be patient. Try to help them think of a better way to do things. For example, if your daughter starts hitting her brother, explain “Hitting Michael hurts him.” Then ask her to tell her brother why she is angry. This teaches children to use words instead of their fists when they are angry.

Here are some ways you can help your child behave:

• Don’t expect too much. • Praise your child – notice the good things, not just the bad. • Ignore irritating (annoying) behaviour, such as whining or interrupting. • Be a good example.

• Make rules, and try to stick with them. • Let your children live with the results of breaking the rules.

Give your children attention when they behave well. For example, if your child waits quietly until you finish a phone call, thank him for waiting. When children are very young, make it easier for them to behave well. If they do something you don’t like, give them something else to do. If they do something that isn’t wrong but is in the wrong place, change the place or the things. For example, if your child wants to draw or colour with crayons and tries to do it on the wall, move him to a table with paper to draw on. Explain why it is okay to draw on paper but not on the walls. Limiting where certain things can be done helps small children behave. If you go somewhere with your children and they start to misbehave, it may be because they are bored. You could give them something to play with or a picture book to look at to keep them busy.

Ignore irritating (annoying) behaviour

Sometimes children want your attention no matter what, even if it’s negative attention. Behaviours such as whining or interrupting are annoying. It’s normal to want to tell your children to stop doing these things. When you tell them to stop, your children learn that they can get your attention by continuing the annoying behaviour. Instead, try to ignore the annoying behaviour. At first, the behaviour may get worse. But if you keep ignoring it, children learn that they can’t get your attention this way.

Praise your child

Your children need to be encouraged when they do something right, such as when they remember rules you have taught them. If you give your children attention when they are doing what you want, they will learn to get attention for being good. If you only pay attention to your children when they do something wrong, they will learn to misbehave to get your attention.

Making rules

Children feel safe when they know there are limits and rules. You should make rules for your children only if they are old enough to understand them. Remember, children under three may be too young to follow rules.

Make some rules, but don’t make too many

• Explain your rules clearly and repeat them often. • Explain what your child can do and can’t do. • Explain why. • Stick to your rules. If you change your rules all the time, your children will

become confused and learn that what you say doesn’t really count. • If other adults care for your children, make sure they know the rules you

have made.

When rules are broken

Your children need to learn that when they don’t follow your rules and misbehave, they have to live with the results. For example, if your child wants to walk instead of staying in the stroller, and then tries to go on the street even though you have said “no,” put him back into the stroller or bring him home right away. Your children need to understand they have to live with the results (consequences) when they don’t follow your rules. Make sure you follow through with consequences when your child disobeys your rules. If you don’t stick to your rules, your child learns that you’re not really serious about consequences.

What do I do when my child misbehaves?

No matter how well you teach your child, he will sometimes misbehave. It is normal, and it’s also one of the hardest things for parents to deal with.

Children misbehave for many reasons:

• They are too young to know better. • They are tired, lonely, bored, over-excited, sick or frustrated. • They are trying to understand what is okay for them to do and what isn’t. • They are just being children.

Staying calm and reasonable is important when children misbehave. If you get angry because of your children’s behaviour, try to direct your anger at the behaviour, not at your children. Make sure your children understand that you still love them – you just don’t like what they did. If you lose your temper, tell your children you are sorry. Your children need you to admit when you are wrong. They need you to show you’re sorry if you have hurt their feelings.

Solving problems

Try to think of your child’s misbehaviour as a problem you have to solve.

Here are four questions you can ask yourself to help figure out what to do:

• What’s happening here? My child has made a mess in the kitchen. • Why is it happening? Maybe my child wants my attention. • What can I do to stop it from happening? Take five minutes away from what

you’re doing to talk and play with your child. Then, go back to what you were doing.

• What if it doesn’t work? Explain that you have to make dinner now, and ask your child to colour a picture while you cook.

If you learn to ask yourself these questions when your children misbehave, it will help you figure out why your children are acting this way and what you can do about it.

Saying “NO!”

From about 1-1/2 to 2-1/2 years of age, children start to develop a sense of independence. At this stage, children want to decide what to eat and what to wear, and they want things their way. Saying “no” all the time makes children feel independent.

What can you do about your child’s “NOs”?

If your child says “no” all the time, try to ask questions that don’t need a “yes” or “no” answer. For example, don’t say “Do you want to eat supper now?” Instead, say “We’re eating supper now. Do you want orange juice or milk?” This will make your child feel like he is making his own choices. Your child is learning to think independently. This is a good thing. Be patient and your child will grow tired of saying “no.”

Comfort habits

Some children suck their thumbs or carry a special blanket or toy to comfort themselves. These comforting habits don’t usually mean there is a problem, if the child is generally happy. It is normal for children to use a comfort habit when they are tired, upset or sick. Comfort habits are only a problem if your child uses them all the time, or if he doesn’t want to do anything else.

What can you do about these habits?

• Try not to talk to your child about the habit in front of other people. This is embarrassing for your child.

• Don’t punish your children by tying their hands or making them wear mittens to get them to stop thumb-sucking or nail-biting. This is humiliating.

• If your child uses a comfort habit all the time, make sure you’re giving him lots of love and attention. If this doesn’t help, talk to your doctor or public health nurse about what to do.

Whining

Whining is irritating. Children whine when they are tired or hungry, or when they are worried or insecure. They also know it can get your attention.

What can you do about whining?

• When your children whine, try to ignore it. Then, when they stop, give them attention. This teaches your children that whining is not the way to get your attention.

• Tell your children that you can understand better when they talk in a ‘grown-up’ voice.

• If this doesn’t work, keep trying. The whining may get worse before it gets better.

• Remember, children need to hear things over and over before they learn.

Tantrums

Sometimes toddlers go through a stage where they have tantrums when they don’t get their way. Tantrums happen more often when children are tired or feeling rushed, and when they are angry or frustrated. A tantrum is a way to work off anger. Tantrums usually start when children are about two years old.

What can you do about tantrums?

• Try to stay calm. Stay near your child and stay quiet. Pay as little attention as you can. Don’t give in to what your child wants, and don’t try to reason with him.

• If a tantrum happens in a public place, take your child to a quiet place to calm down.

• If your child has a lot of tantrums, think about the way you usually react. You may be giving your child too much attention when he has a tantrum.

• f you are worried about your child, talk to other parents or to a public health nurse for some other suggestions.

Fighting

It takes time for children to learn how to share and take turns when they are playing with other children. No child gets along well with friends all the time.

What can you do about fighting?

• If children are arguing with each other, but not hitting, leave them alone. Children need to learn to work out their differences themselves.

• If children are hitting each other, break them apart. Have them sit apart quietly to calm down.

• After they have calmed down, bring them back together and help them solve their problems.

• We all know that when we are angry, it’s hard to think clearly. Remember that the same is true for your children. They may be so upset they can’t think clearly about what you’re saying.

Lying

Most children make up stories sometimes. They may not mean to lie. Children have great imaginations, and they can become convinced that they saw a lion in the backyard, for example. Children may also lie about their bad behaviour if they’re afraid of what might happen to them.

What can you do about lying?

• If your children make up stories, listen to them. Show that you enjoyed the story. Then ask “What really happened?”

• Make it easy for your children to tell you the truth. When your child tells you when they did something wrong try not to get angry. First, praise your child for telling you the truth. Then, talk about what he did.

• If your child tells stories all the time, try to explain the difference between something that is real and something that isn’t.

• If you are very worried about your child’s stories, talk to your doctor or a public health nurse about what to do.

Stealing

It can be upsetting to find out that your child has taken things that don’t belong to him. It takes time for children to learn right from wrong. When they are very young, children don’t understand that people own things. They also don’t understand what is important and what isn’t. You might not mind if your child takes a pencil from your purse, but you would probably mind if it is money. To your child, there is no difference.

What can you do about stealing?

• If you discover that your child has taken something, stay calm. The first time it happens, act like it’s a mistake. Then teach your child that he shouldn’t take things from other people without asking.

• Then make your child return the item to its owner. Don’t make excuses for your child or act as if it’s funny that he took something.

Spanking

No matter how angry you feel, it’s never okay to spank your child. Spanking doesn’t teach children how to behave. It teaches children that it’s okay to hit someone who does something they don’t like. Spanking also teaches your children that it’s okay for someone big to hit someone little. If your children are afraid you’ll spank them, they may do what you want only because they are afraid you will punish them, not because they understand why they shouldn’t do something. This doesn’t teach them right from wrong. Spanking your children may make them fear you and dislike you. It may also make your children afraid of all adults.

Taking a break (time out)

When your child is losing control of his emotions or having a tantrum, take a short break from each other. Call a time out. Time out means your child has to sit alone, quietly, to calm down. It also gives you a chance to calm down. Time out works best for children over three. Don’t expect it to work with younger children.

Reasons to call time out:

• To stop problem behaviour. For example, if your children are fighting, call a time out. They can sit away from each other quietly until they feel ready to play together without fighting.

• To help children calm down or to change a child’s mood. If your children are getting very angry, rough or excited, call a time out. They can sit quietly until they are calm. A toddler may need to sit on your lap to feel safe and loved during the time out.

When your child has calmed down, suggest something else to do, such as listening to you read a story.

Time out is for parents, too

You can call time out if you feel like you can’t deal with what’s happening without yelling or being physical.

• Parents are human. They get angry sometimes, just like everybody else. • If you feel yourself getting very angry, or if you feel you might say or do

something you know is wrong, call a time out for yourself. Spend a few minutes alone until you feel calmer.

• If you get angry because of your children’s behaviour, try to direct your anger at the behaviour, not at the children.

• Make sure your children understand that you don’t like what they did, not that you don’t like them.

• If you lose your temper, tell your children you are sorry. They need you to admit when you are wrong. They need you to show you’re sorry if you have hurt their feelings.

Be a good example

Your children watch everything you do. They look up to you and want to be like you. That means they copy what you do and how you behave. If you want to teach your children to be courteous and polite, make sure they hear you saying “please” and “thank you” to them and to other people. If your children see you sharing with other people, they will learn to share too.

Dangerous or hurtful behaviour

If your child is hurting someone or doing something dangerous, such as playing with the burners on the stove, say “no” and put a stop to it right away. After you have stopped the behaviour, move your child away from the dangerous area, and explain why what your child was doing was wrong.

You can be a good parent

Nobody is a perfect parent. It takes thinking and hard work to be a good parent. You and your child will learn together by trying and doing. Learn to trust your own judgment and feelings. You have what it takes to be a good parent.

Source: Nobody’s Perfect, 1997. Adapted and Reproduced with the permission of the Minister of Public Works and Government Services Canada, 2003. Health Canada is not responsible for any inaccuracies in the adaptation of its material.

Choosing good child care

Leaving your child with someone else – whether it’s an evening in the care of a teenager, a weekend with a grandparent, a few afternoons a week at a play group, or full-time child care in a centre – is a very important decision because you are asking another person to help you raise your child. Quality care is very important for your child’s physical, intellectual, social and emotional development. It is just as important to your child’s healthy development as good food and clean air.

What’s the most important thing in choosing quality child care?

Good child care involves a lot more than keeping your child warm and fed. Good child care supports your child’s emotional, social, intellectual and physical well-being. What skills do people working in early childhood education and child care need?

• They need to understand how children grow and learn. • They need to be affectionate and respond to your child’s needs. • They need to know how to care for children. • They need to be able to give children a stable environment, with activities

that encourage play and learning. • They need to be willing to co-operate with parents. • They need to be supportive of breastfeeding. • They need to respect the wishes and lifestyles of parents. • They need to know about and use resources and programs in the community. • They need to be willing to set clear limits that help keep your child safe and

teach acceptable behaviour. Limits make children feel watched over and protected, so they feel secure enough to reach out and learn.

People trained in early childhood education have learned how to provide this kind of care in their work. Never leave your child with someone you don’t trust or who has violent reactions.

Where do I start in finding quality care?

First, identify your own needs:

• Do you prefer care in the home or in a child care centre? • Do you need full-time or part-time care?

• Where do you want the care to be: near your home? Near your work? • What can you afford? Do you qualify for any government subsidies? • What are the hours of care? What hours can your bring and pick up your

child? • What is most important to you? Knowing what is most important to you in

child care will help you decide.

How to start looking for child care

When you know what you want to meet you and your child’s needs, start looking to see what is available in your community:

• Make a list of local caregivers and child care centres. Family resource programs or other community information centres can tell you about such programs.

• Next, speak with potential caregivers over the phone. Write down the questions you want to ask and make notes to help you decide which places you want to visit.

Here are some questions to ask yourself about the quality of care the setting seems to offer:

• Is the main goal the best interests of the children? • Would you feel good about your child spending time here? • Is the child care setting clean, safe and secure? • Is it a warm and caring environment? • Are there toys and activities in the room for different ages? • How many children does each adult look after? • Is there space for quiet and for play? • Are there lots of pictures on the walls and books for children to see and use? • Do the children have places to play, indoors and out? • Is there a flexible and predictable routine for the children? • Are there different kinds of toys and equipment for the children to play with? • Are there healthy meals and snacks for the children? • What is the attitude or approach about discipline? • Is there respect for different cultures and languages, including your culture

and language?

When you have narrowed your search to a few places, bring your child for a visit and see how he responds. This is also the time to interview the caregiver(s) in more depth. Talk to the caregiver about her (or his) view of child care. Make sure you and the caregiver share the same ideas about raising a child. The more respect, trust and co-operation you have, the better. Remember to ask:

• The hours they are open. • How much it costs. • The policy about sickness – will they take care of children when the children

are sick? • Vacations – yours and theirs. • How much they want parents to be involved. It is good for the child care

setting, for you and for your child when parents are involved. • If there is a contract or letter of agreement. It’s a good idea to read it

carefully before you decide in case there is anything you have forgotten to ask or talk about.

What are the options in child care?

Most communities have a variety of child care services. Some are licensed and some are not. The options may include daycare centres and nursery schools, licensed family-based care, unlicensed family-based care, care provided in the child’s own home by a nanny, and babysitters.

• All centres in Ontario that care for five or more unrelated children under 12 must be licensed by the provincial Ministry of Community and Social Services.

• Home-based child care must be licensed when there are more than five children being cared for regularly. These homes must also be registered with a home child care agency that has approved the home.

Licensing is based on inspection done each year, using standards set out by the Day Nurseries Act. A licensed child care program meets a set of requirements that provide a standard of care that ensures the health, safety and well-being of young children. Licensed programs are inspected regularly. Remember, a licence means the setting has met only the minimum standards.

How can I tell if my child is getting quality care?

• A solid sign of your child’s well-being is how your child is doing. A child who is safe, happy and developing well is most likely doing just fine.

Balancing work and home

I have just started back to work full-time after being on maternity leave for a year. I feel like I have no time, and I feel so guilty about not being home. What can I do?

Balancing work and family takes a little creativity and a lot of practice.

Here are some ways to make the most of your time:

• Spend time with your children whenever you can. For example, you can talk to your child while you make a meal.

• When you get home from work at the end of a day, you can unwind with a short cuddle or a quick story with your child.

• Forget about house cleaning. The dust will wait, but childhood passes by very quickly.

• Show that you are interested in your child’s day. Ask your child questions about her (or his) day, such as “What was the most fun thing you did today?”

• Set regular routines. • Give your child your full attention for a period of time every day. Even 20

minutes a day will help you and your child feel more connected.

Brain development

Brain development

Brain development in the early years (0-6) is very fast, and very special. Find out how you can help stimulate your child’s brain.

Your child’s early brain development

You’ve probably heard how important it is to help your baby’s brain develop well. You may have seen advertisements for toys to stimulate your child’s brain, and CDs to give your unborn baby a start in music.

Many parents know it is important to help stimulate their child’s brain, but they are not be sure why.

While some of the claims are exaggerated, there is good scientific evidence that it is important to stimulate your child’s brain development early in life.

What we know about early brain development

The brain starts to develop long before your baby is born, and it continues to develop quickly through the early years (0 to 6).

This early development of the brain affects health and well-being throughout your child’s life.

How well a baby’s brain develops during the earliest years sets the foundation for growth and development later in a child’s life, including adulthood.

Wiring and sculpting the brain

Each baby is born with a central nervous system, made up of the brain and the spinal cord. The central nervous system has 100 billion nerve cells, called neurons. The neurons can make up to 15,000 connections with each other, which form very complex pathways in the brain. These pathways allow the neurons to communicate with each other, to control the body’s muscles, organs, and glands. In newborn babies, most of these connections between neurons have not happened yet. But during the first year of a baby’s life, these brain pathways are being built very quickly. As these pathways are built, the brain begins to strengthen the pathways it uses often and eliminates pathways it doesn’t use. This process is known as brain wiring or sculpting. Although brain sculpting begins before birth and continues into the teenage years, it is most active in the early years of life. That’s why it’s so important to provide your baby with stimulation. More than 1/3 of the neurons a baby is born with are eliminated in the first three years of life.

Nature and Nurture

This brain development is determined by the interaction between two powerful forces: nature and nurture. Nature is the qualities and genetic possibilities a baby is born with. These are determined by genes, which babies get from their parents. For example, a child gets brown hair, or musical talent through his (or her) genes. Nurture is the love and care that adults give to a child. Nature and nurture work together to shape the child’s developing brain. The love and care you give your child makes a big difference to early brain development.

Stimulating young minds to learn

Babies are very sensitive to their environment – their physical surroundings and the people around them. This is why your child’s early months are so important. The way you respond to your children, especially in their earliest years, affects

how the pathways in the brain are formed. Early pathways set a base for thinking skills and learning. Different parts of a baby’s brain develop at different times. This means that there are special times when the brain is most able to absorb certain experiences, and special times when the brain is most able to build up new pathways. To make this process work, a child needs to interact with his parents or other adults.

Coping with emotions

Children begin to learn to cope with their emotions early in life. Babies start to be able to comfort themselves as early as six months. They start to learn what makes them happy and what doesn’t. Later on, babies begin to learn how to control their behaviour, and to decide where to focus their attention. A strong emotional bond with at least one caring adult is needed for this important learning.

Learning to speak

The ability to learn language is very strong in early childhood. By listening to sounds and copying them, most children learn to talk between 12 and 18 months. All children are naturally ready to learn to talk, but the language they learn depends on what they hear around them. During their babbling phase, babies make lots of sounds. After they have learned their native language, they are less able to make sounds that are not used in their language. Babies need to hear language long before they learn to talk. Speak to your baby when you are nursing, feeding, changing diapers and cuddling. Lots of touching and talking stimulate the brain's pathways for using and understanding language.

Thinking skills

Thinking skills help children build up new knowledge. Using symbols, understanding numbers, following a story, and understanding where physical objects are in relationship to each other (spatial awareness) are concepts that form the basis of later abilities to think and to reason. All these concepts can develop during years before school.

You can help your children’s thinking skills by providing lots of different experiences and helping them understand these experiences. For example, a walk to the park to find different kinds of bugs is a stronger better learning experience if you help point out the differences between ants and ladybugs.

Make-believe play (pretending)

Make-believe play (pretending) begins about the time that children start using language and walking around. Children may dress up or use props to act our their world. Pretend play helps children practise new thinking skills that help with learning to read and solving problems in the early school years.

Learning to count

At about age four, children usually know how to count. They also understand ideas such as ‘more’ and ‘less,’ and ‘big’ and ‘small.’ But they don’t know that seven is greater than five. Children usually begin to understand number and quantity between the ages of four and six. Between the ages of six and 10, children develop a better understanding of how numbers work. Children start to understand the concept of space at around age six, when they put together their ideas of how objects look with the relationships between them. For example, they might draw pictures of a tree connected to the ground with the sky above it and a person beside it. Some of the most important learning in a child’s life happens long before he (or she) gets to school.

Love protects against stress

Like all animals, our bodies are genetically programmed to react to stress – to get away from danger or to fight danger. Within minutes of something stressful happening, our brains release stress hormones, which help us cope. However, if we live with constant stress for a long time, some neurons in the brain die. Over time, constant stress can affect the whole body. That’s because stress

suppresses or weakens the immune system, which we need to protect us against disease. People with high levels of stress tend to get sick more often. Babies and young children are very sensitive to stress. Research has shown that babies who feel secure and get care and stimulation, can deal with stress better. This is why good, loving care for your baby can help throughout your child’s life, for coping well and for good health. Giving your children care and stimulation in the early years helps them develop in a healthy way. Most parents want to hold and cuddle their children, talk to them, and give them toys and other things to play with. This does more than make children smile. It builds their capacity to learn and cope emotionally with life. It also helps them develop their ability to think and make sense of their worlds.

Early brain development – a foundation for life

Children’s early experiences make a big difference in their lives. Good care in the first few years of life helps children develop physically, emotionally and intellectually. Like a good solid foundation for a house, early brain development is a foundation for health, well-being, behaviour and learning. Healthy brain development in the early years lasts a lifetime. Written by Jane Bertrand, M.Ed., faculty member, Early Childhood Education Diploma Program, George Brown College

Development

Motor skills development (moving the muscles)

Large muscle development

The body’s large muscles are used for crawling, sitting up and walking. By using their large muscles, babies can move around by themselves and explore their

worlds. The more control babies develop over their large muscles, the more independent they become.

Small muscle development

Small muscles control many things, including the hands and feet. Learning to grasp and let go of things, and learning to use their hands together are important developments which also help babies explore and learn about their world.

Emotional development

From birth to age three, your child needs to bond with or become attached to one or two special caregivers. Babies form very strong emotional bonds with their parents and caregivers. They try to look for, reach for and stay close to the people they have bonded with. Babies may also get upset when they are separated from a special person, and they may be nervous with strangers. As children move out of the baby stage and become toddlers, they start to learn how to be more independent.

For your children to have healthy emotional development, they need two things:

• They need to be able to count on others to meet their needs. • They need to believe that the world is a safe and loving place.

How can I help my children cope with their feelings?

• Let your children know that you will love and accept them, no matter what. This helps them cope with difficult times in their lives. It also helps them be able to share their needs and feelings with others.

• Teach your toddler to talk about things when he (or she) is upset. Show your toddler that talking things out when he is upset can help him feel better. Reassure your toddler that everyone has strong feelings sometimes.

• Spend time doing things with your children. This gives children a very important feeling of security and comfort.

Social development

Babies’ start acquiring social skills by learning the signals they can give to show adults they are hungry or tired. They watch how their parents respond to other people and situations, then begin to copy them.

How can I help my children learn social skills?

Children learn social skills by copying the behaviour of the adults that are close to them. This helps toddlers begin to understand what the world expects of them.

Preschoolers gradually learn how to co-operate by sharing, taking turns and playing games with others. Preschoolers often copy the things that someone they love does. When your children ‘play house’ and copy the words and actions of the adults around them, you know that your children are learning the rules and values of your family and the community you live in. This is why you need to remember that your children use you as a model for how to behave.

My toddler is very unco-operative lately. She says ‘no’ to everything I ask her to do. What’s going on?

Toddlers and preschoolers try to be their own bosses, so they may not always do what they are told. They are trying to rely on their own skills and to become less dependent on adults. Children at this stage are sometimes very possessive about their toys and don’t share well. Your children may say ‘no’ a lot. They may also demand that routines stay the same, including where they sit, what they eat and what book they want to read. This is a normal step in learning to be independent. At this stage, your children may change from clinging to you to defying you. Remember, at this time your children still need reassurance that you love them, and that they can depend on you to meet their needs. Setting routines and clear limits and guiding your children calmly helps them feel secure in their new independence. By the time your children are three to four years old, they are usually much more confident co-operating with others, and they enjoy the company of other children.

Intellectual development

As babies and small children learn about their surroundings and learn how to adjust to them, they develop their ability to think. This is known as ‘intellectual development.’ A person’s intellect lets them understand ideas, remember things, and notice and learn new things. The senses (sight, smell, touch, hearing and taste) of babies and children send information to their brains, and their brains put that information in order.

Speech and language development

Children use many ways to communicate. Babies use gestures and facial expressions, words, tone of voice and other vocal sounds such as crying and babbling to communicate. This is the beginning of learning language. Most children learn language very quickly. Your newborn baby’s cries are reflexes but your baby will soon begin to show how she (or he) feels with different cries.

How do speech and language skills develop?

By their first birthday, babies can usually say a couple of words. After that, they learn to say more words very quickly. By the time they are five, children have a wide range of language skills that allow them to give, get and understand messages using language. At first, children learn language so that they can ask for things, say when they don’t want something, greet others, and ask for comfort. Later, children use language to direct your attention to something that has happened or something they find interesting. They also use language to learn how to read and write.

How can I help my baby’s language development?

Talk to and listen to your baby to help her (or him) develop language. How you interpret what your baby is trying to tell you and how you respond to her has important effects on how well your child learns language. Learning to take turns is important in developing language. How you respond to your baby’s gestures, gaze and speech are all important. When you copy your baby’s sounds, and when you talk to your baby and wait for a response, you are teaching her about language. This also helps your baby try new ways to make herself understood. Most children follow the same steps in developing language skills, but some learn more quickly than others.

What should I do if I think my child is having problems learning language and learning to talk?

It is never too early to identify a speech and language disorder. If you think your child is having problems developing language and learning to speak, you can find the Preschool Speech and Language Program in your area by calling INFO line at 1-800-268-1154, or click on Children’s Health at: www.health.gov.on.ca/english/public/program/child/child_mn.html.

Play

Playing helps with reading, writing and arithmetic (mathematics) Many parents want to introduce their children to reading, writing and mathematics before they are old enough to go to school.

This is okay, as long as you don’t only focus on teaching these skills. Other kinds of play are just as important. To do well in school, children need literacy skills (reading and writing) and numeracy skills (understanding numbers).

Play and literacy

Literacy develops from speaking a language. If you talk with your children about their play and use new words as you play along, you will be laying the basis for your child’s reading later on. Rhyming games are a good way to help your child become aware of the sounds made with letters. Try to read and tell stories to your child every day in your native language.

Play and numeracy

You can help your children understand numbers by introducing counting rhymes and numerals, which are easier to read than words. You can also point out patterns to your child, such as how forks, knives and spoons have things in common with each other – they may be the same size, weight and colour, and they are all used to eat with.

Sports and recreation and your family

Being active when they are young makes it more likely that children will be physically active later in life. Being active together as a family through sports and other kinds of recreation is great for physical health. It’s also a great time for your family to spend time together. When families share

recreation time, children’s self-esteem grows, and they develop social skills. Sports and recreation can help your child get ready for school and make new friends. In a positive sports setting, children can try new things, and learn co-operation and teamwork. Sports activities can also help children learn how to solve problems and make decisions. Sports and recreation don’t have to cost a lot of money. You can go for a walk or a bike ride with your children, and check out recreation programs at your local community recreation centre.

Learning

Helping your child to be ready to learn

A child’s first years at school are very important.

Here are some things you can do to encourage them to be ready to learn when they go to school:

Self-regulation

Self-regulation means being able to control your behaviour, emotions and attention. Children who can regulate their own emotions find it easier to take part in school activities. They get along better with others. Children who can regulate their behaviour, their emotions and their attention are much more able to learn on their own. Children start to learn to regulate their emotions and actions when they are very young. They learn by interacting with their parents and other caring adults. Parents can also help children to regulate where they focus their attention by giving them more difficult games when they are ready.

Making big tasks smaller

Parents can also show their children how to break a problem into smaller parts. For example, when your baby can easily find the toy that you have hidden under a blanket, you can make it more challenging by hiding two toys. If your child has trouble putting together all of the puzzle pieces or stacking all of the blocks, take away some of the puzzle pieces or blocks.

You can do the same thing when it’s time to clean up the play area. It can be too much for a three-year-old to try to put all of the toys away. Instead, you can break the task down into one step at a time – “Where does the fire truck go?” It's also important to give your children space to do well on tasks that are okay for their level of development. Taking over for your children as soon as they get frustrated won't help them learn to do things.

Feeling secure

A strong emotional bond between a parent and a child is so important. Relationships in a child’s family affect relationships outside of the family. Children who grow up in caring families find it easier to have good relationships with others, including teachers and other children. Children who feel secure are better able to explore the world. Comforting children after a bad or upsetting experience makes them feel safe and helps them learn to regulate their emotions. Letting preschool children explore their surroundings also helps develop their courage and confidence. These skills will help them with challenges all through their lives.

Thinking skills

Children are born with a sense of excitement about the world. They want to learn. When you help your children understand their world, you are helping them learn to think.

Children need stimulation to keep wanting to explore. They need to meet different people, go to different places and learn about the natural world (such as plants, water and the sun).

Children learn to make connections among different people, things and places. Stimulation also helps children to cope with complex information.

People need to make sense of their worlds, especially young children. Parents can help their children understand the world by making experiences meaningful for them. For example, a walk in a new park becomes a more interesting learning experience if you are there to point out to your children what is the same and what is different from the park that you usually go to.

Literacy and numeracy

Literacy (the ability to read and write) and numeracy (the ability to use numbers) are two very important skills. Children need to be literate and to understand how numbers work to do well in school. Children need to learn to understand and use many different words. They need to learn that stories have a beginning, a middle and an end. Children need to learn what a number line is (three is one more than two, and four is one more than five). They also need to see what is the same and what is different in the weight, feel and size of things.

Here are some ways to help your child build good literacy and numeracy skills:

• Read together. Reading out loud with your children from a very early age is very important. Reading together makes your children more ready to learn to read.

• Have fun together. When you and your children share time reading a story and being close, they learn that reading is fun.

• Hold your children, touch and snuggle together, and get their full attention.

• Repeat. You may be frustrated when your child asks to hear the same story night after night, but repeating stories over and over again is important for your child. At first, children focus on the pictures in a storybook. Soon, they learn the story, word by word, and start to tell it along with you. By pointing to words your child knows from memory, she (or he) can learn that printed words (text) have meaning. Later, when your child learns to read in school, she will know that text is not a puzzle to solve by guessing. Your child will also know that text tells a story or gives information (or both).

• Rhyming. The ability to hear the different sounds in language is a big part of learning to read. Parents can help children develop ‘an ear’ for language by using rhymes and songs.

• Learning words by sight. A basic ‘sight’ vocabulary of common objects can help your children’s early reading. You can help by asking your children to point out simple words in a story while you read together. You could also put labels on some things in your child's room, such as ‘bed’ or ‘closet.’

• Sharing written stories. Children need to understand that text is more than just a collection of words and sentences. Hearing and telling stories helps children understand what a story is. Playing make-believe also helps children to understand stories. Take your child’s drawing

and ask her to tell you the story behind it. If you write the story out for your child and read it with her later, she can see where stories in books come from. It shows your child that she can write stories, too.

• Counting games. Counting games are a good way to begin to understand how numbers work. To help your child understand what numbers mean, try simple counting games, such as counting backwards and forwards. Try easy adding and subtracting questions. You can even count your child’s fingers and toes! Board games that require counting and moving along a number line help your child see that numbers can be presented in different ways, but they always mean the same thing. Number games and reading together should be fun. They show children that learning new skills can mean getting to do more interesting things.

Lifelong learning

Lifelong learning begins at home in your children’s early years. The learning skills your children build with your help will help them to do well at school.

Safety

Safety in the home

How can I prevent poisoning?

Lots of ordinary things in our homes can poison a child. Medicines, vitamins, plants, cosmetics, home cleaning products, pesticides, paints and paint thinners, gasoline, antifreeze, alcohol and cigarettes can all cause poisoning. Medicine is the most common cause of poisoning in children.

• Lock up your medicine and cleaning products, including camphor, pesticides and iron vitamin supplements. Just a few strong iron pills can kill a child.

• Some products have child-resistant safety caps. These caps are helpful but not child-proof. It is safer to lock up all dangerous products, or put them where you know your child can't reach them.

• Keep all cigarettes, butts and ashtrays away from children. One swallowed unsmoked cigarette or just two cigarette butts can make your child sick.

• Do not use cleaning products when children are close by. Many children are poisoned with cleaning products while a parent is using them. For example, a child might eat or inhale oven cleaner while you are cleaning the oven.

• Keep products in their own containers. Make sure they are clearly labelled. • Learn to recognize poisonous household plants.

• Do not take medicine in front of your child. Your child may try to copy you. • Watch your child when you visit other people's homes. They may not keep

their dangerous products locked up or out of reach, especially if they don't have children.

For more information contact:

• Your local Poison Control Centre (the number is in your local phone book) • Ontario Regional Poison Control Centres

Home safety checklist for infants and toddlers

• Make sure you have smoke alarms, and make sure you test them every month. Buy a fire extinguisher and check it every year.

• Falls from windows and balconies can cause serious injury or death. To prevent these accidents, move furniture so your children can't climb up and out.

• To prevent children from getting out windows, put window guards on all the windows on the second floor and above. These guards act like gates in front of the windows.

• Another way is to fasten the windows so that they cannot be opened more then 10 centimetres (four inches). Remember, a window screen alone will not stop your child from falling.

• Install safety gates at the top and bottom of all stairs. Gates that attach by pressure are not safe at the top of the stairs because they can give way if children lean on them. Instead, use a gate that is anchored to the wall or banister.

• Put up the sides of the crib and playpen. Keep large toys and stuffed animals out of the crib and playpen so your child won't use them to climb over the side.

• Tape any loose rugs to the floor to keep your child from tripping. • Tape foam over sharp corners on your tables to protect your child's head if he

(or she) falls • Cords from curtains and blinds can strangle your child. Tie cords up where

your child cannot reach them, or cut them off. • Use outlet caps and plug covers to protect your child from electrical shocks.

Don't let your child put cords in his mouth • Make sure that bookcases, lamps, televisions and other heavy furniture are

fastened to the wall so that your child cannot pull them over. • Whenever possible, use the back burners on the stove for cooking. Don’t let

pot handles hang over the edge of the stove; the pots could get knocked over.

• Don't let cords from appliances such as your kettle hang over the edge of the counter or table. Your child might pull the cord and be burned by hot liquid.

• Keep purses and briefcases out your child's reach. They may have dangerous products inside.

• Learn to identify poisonous houseplants. • Keep your pet's food and toys away from your child. • Keep coins, buttons, batteries, keys, earrings and other small objects where

your child cannot reach them.

The Safety and injury prevention section was written by Canadian Institute of Child Health (CICH).

Water safety

How can I prevent water burns (scalding)?

• Most hot water heaters are set at 60 degrees Celsius (140 degrees Fahrenheit). This is too hot! Your child's skin can burn in just one second at this temperature. Lower the temperature of your hot water heater to 49˚C (120˚F). You will still have lots of hot water for your home.

• If you can't control the water temperature, put anti-scald devices on your taps.

• When running a bath, put the cold water in first. Then add hot water until the bath is warm, not hot. Run a bit more cold water at the end to cool off the faucet.

• Before you put your child in the bathtub, test the water with your hand. The water should feel warm, not hot. The right temperature for your child is cooler than the temperature you want for your own bath.

• Keep your child away from the hot water tap. Never let your child turn on the tap.

• Never leave your young child in the tub with an older child. The older child may turn on the hot water tap.

• If your child is under five years of age, never put them in a ‘hot tub’ – not even with an adult. Hot tubs are often too hot for children, and they can have high levels of bacteria.

How can I prevent drowning?

Young children are at risk of drowning because they can move fast and they don't understand danger. Remember, a baby or child can drown in only five centimetres (two inches) of water.

• Check for water hazards near your home: bathtubs, hot tubs, swimming pools, rivers, lakes, ditches, ponds, sewage lagoons and canals. If you have a water hazard on your property (such as a pond), put a high fence around it so that your child cannot reach it.

• If you have a swimming pool, make sure it is properly fenced in. It should have a gate that closes and latches by itself.

• If you have a hot tub, cover it tightly when you are not using it. • Life jackets are now called personal flotation devices. Make sure your child

wears a personal flotation device at all times when in a boat or on a dock. Check the label to make sure it is the right size for your child. The device should also have a label that says it meets Canadian safety standards.

• If your child is under five years, and you go to a vacation cottage or campsite that is right on the water. be very, very careful. Watch your child at all times.

• If your child is under five years, stay beside them at all times when they are close to water or in the water. This includes the bathtub. Never leave your child alone, not even for a few seconds.

• Use a rubber bath mat or non-slip stickers in the bathtub to prevent falls.

Fire safety

Follow these tips for fire safety:

• Most fire deaths happen in homes without smoke alarms. Install smoke alarms on each floor of your home, especially near the bedrooms. Check your smoke alarms every month to make sure that they are working. Change the batteries twice a year. A good way to remember is to change them when you change your clocks for daylight saving time every spring and fall.

• Keep matches and lighters out of children’s reach. Child-resistant lighters are NOT child-proof. Some children can figure out how to use them.

• Teach your child that matches and lighters are not toys, they are for adults to use only.

• Teach your child to tell an adult if there are matches lying around. • Teach your children to stop, drop and roll if their clothing catches fire. Rolling

on the ground will put out the flames. Teach them not to run because this makes the flames spread.

• Create a family escape plan to use in case of fire. Teach your children escape routes and where they should meet you outside. Have your own fire drills and practise using the escape routes.

• Keep your local fire department’s phone number near the phone.

In case of fire:

• Make sure everyone is awake. • Crawl on the floor to the door of the room. • Feel the door to see if it is hot before touching the doorknob (if the fire is just

outside the door, the knob would be extremely hot). • If the door is not hot, open it and try to make your way outside to the

meeting place. • If the door is hot, use the ‘alternate’ escape route through the window.

Windows above ground should be equipped with rope ladders, and you should teach your children how to use them.

• Never go back into a burning building.

For more information contact:

• Your local fire department

Children and animals

• Dog bites are usually caused by a dog a child knows. The dog is often the family pet.

• Pets can be jealous. Watch your pet closely if you have a new baby in the house. Try to give your pets as much love and attention as you did before the baby came.

• Animals are unpredictable. Always supervise children around dogs and other animals, and don’t let your dog lick your baby’s face.

• Keep your pet's food and toys out of your child’s reach. • Cats can scratch a child. Keep your cat's claws trimmed short. Teach your

child to stroke a cat gently, from head to tail. • Teach your child never to disturb an animal that is eating, sleeping or

chewing on something. • Teach your child never to grab an animal by the feet, ears or tail. • Teach your child never to tease or stare at an animal. • Teach your child to stop if approached by an animal. Teach your child to

speak softly to the animal and then back away slowly. • Teach your child to walk slowly near animals, and to never run up to an

animal or away from it. • Teach your child to always ask the owner before touching a pet.

Teach your child to pet an animal safely:

• Start with your arm straight down at your side. • Then, lift your arm up slowly and let the pet sniff your hand. • Next, gently touch the side and then the top of the pet's head.

Child equipment and toys

New toys and equipment such as cribs, strollers, car seats and high chairs must meet Canadian safety standards. Check the labels for safety information. Make sure second-hand toys and baby equipment meet safety standards, especially if they are old.

• Baby walkers with wheels are dangerous! They are not made in Canada anymore, but some old walkers are still available. If you have an old one, throw it out.

• Some toys and baby equipment have removable parts that a child can choke on.

• Check everything your child plays with or uses for small pieces that might come off.

• Teach older children to keep small toys and pieces of toys away from babies and small children.

• Do not use latex balloons as toys. Children can choke on balloons or pieces of popped balloons. Use foil balloons instead. If you do allow your child to play with balloons, stay with them. Do not let your child put balloons or balloon pieces in her (or his) mouth.

Playground equipment

Letting children climb and play is good for them, but you need to make sure they are safe.

• Check your children before you go to the playground. Take off anything that could strangle them, such as strings, drawstrings, scarves, bike helmets and skipping ropes.

• If your children are under five years old, keep them off of equipment higher then 1.5 metres (5 feet).

• Stand right beside your child when climbing, riding in a swing or playing on equipment above the ground.

• The ground under and around the playground equipment should have soft rubber mats or lots of sand, pea gravel or wood chips. If the surface not deep and soft, keep your child on equipment that is close to the ground.

• Keep your child off equipment meant for older children. If your child needs help to climb onto it, the equipment is not safe.

• To prevent falls, only let your child use equipment with good handrails, barriers and railings.

Car seat safety

• Your baby needs a car seat every time you ride in the car. It's not just a good idea; it's the la

• Always use a car seat. Never hold your baby on your lap. • Read the car seat instructions carefully to make sure you are using the seat

properly. • Never place your baby's car seat in the front seat if your car has an airbag, or

beside a door with an airbag. • Use an infant-only car seat until your baby weighs 9 kilograms (20 pounds).

Some models have different weight limits. Make sure you follow the instructions that come with the car seat.

• The car seat must face the back of the car until your baby is one year old and weighs at least 9 kilograms (20 pounds). If your baby grows too big for the infant car seat before one year, you need a new car seat. Look for a car seat that can face the back of the car when your baby is less than one year, and then can face forward later.

• When your child is older than one year and weighs more than 9 kilograms (20 pounds), you can use a car seat that faces the front of the car. (These are called forward-facing car seats.)

• A forward-facing car seat has a tether strap that goes from the back of the seat (at the top) to a bolt that is fastened in your car. It is very important to attach this strap to the bolt directly behind the car seat. Read the car seat instructions carefully. Call the car dealership if you cannot find the bolt(s) located above the back seat in the rear window area of the car.

• Some children get too tall for their car seats before they reach 18 kg (40 lbs.). You will know your child is too tall if the middle of your child’s ear is higher than the back of the car seat. If this happens, move your child into a special type of combination car seat/booster seat.

• Use a booster seat in the car when your child weights over 18 kg (40 lbs.), until your child’s head is no longer protected by the back of the vehicle’s seat or head rest (eight years old or 4’9” in height). The booster seat helps the seat belt fit properly over your child’s body. Never use household booster seats – this is very dangerous.

• Always read and follow the manufacturer’s instructions included with the car seat or booster seat you have.

• Never leave your child alone in the car, even for just a few minutes. Always take your child with you if you need to leave the car.

• Your local public health unit can tell you where car seat clinics are held in your area.

Street safety

Young children often don't know the direction sounds such as car horns are coming from. They also have trouble judging how fast an approaching car may be going. Teach your child to follow these street safety rules:

• Stop. • Listen for cars. • Look both ways. • Look at the drivers of the cars and make eye contact. • If your child is under nine years of age, they should never cross the street

alone. Young children cannot see out of the corners of their eyes as well as adults do.

• Children should always use sidewalks. Where there are no sidewalks, teach your children to walk as far away from the street as they can.

• Children should always wear white or light-coloured clothes and reflectors, so they can be easily seen by drivers.

• Teach your children that railway tracks are only for trains. Playing games at railway crossings is very dangerous.

Bicycle safety

• Children under five should only ride tricycles. They don’t have the strength and co-ordination to ride a bike yet. Toddlers and preschoolers should be supervised by an adult when they ride their tricycles. Do not allow your preschooler to ride a tricycle on the road.

• Five and six-year-olds are ready to learn how to ride a two-wheeled bike with training wheels.

• Choose a tricycle that is the right size for your child. The child should be able to put his (or her) feet flat on the ground while sitting on the seat.

• Make sure your child wears a bicycle helmet designed for his age group. Check for a label that says the helmet is approved by the Canadian Standards Association (CSA).

How can I get my child to wear a helmet?

• Give your child a helmet with their first tricycle. (To set a good example, wear a helmet yourself when you ride a bike.)

• Let your child pick out the colour of the helmet he wants. • Tell your children why it is so important to wear a helmet. • Reward your children for wearing their helmets. • Don't let your children ride their bikes unless they wear their helmets. • Encourage your children's friends to wear helmets.

Sun safety

The sun is more dangerous than it was 20 years ago. That’s why it’s important to protect your child from the sun.

How can I prevent sunburn?

• Dress for the sun! Have your children wear broad-brimmed hats and loose-fitting clothing that covers their arms and legs. Make sure they wear sunglasses with protection from ultraviolet light (UVA and UVB).

• Don't stay in the sun! The sun is the hottest between 11 a.m. and 4 p.m. Encourage your children to play in the shade during this time.

• Keep your baby in the shade. Babies under one year of age should not be in direct sunlight. They are also too young for sunscreen. Your baby should wear a broad-brimmed hat when outside and loose-fitting clothing covering his (or her) arms and legs.

• Put sunscreen on your kids every time they play outside, not just on sunny days. Remember, you can get a sunburn on a cloudy day and from light reflected by snow, water or sand.

• Use sunscreen that has a sun protection factor (SPF) of 15 or higher. Check the label to be sure.

• If you can, put sunscreen on your children 15 to 20 minutes before they go outside. Test the sunscreen on a patch of your child’s skin first to make sure he (or she) is not allergic to it.

• Any skin that is showing needs sunscreen. Don't forget the face, ears, nose, back of neck and tops of feet!

• Sunscreen wears off, so it should be re-applied every two or three hours, and after swimming.

Under 5s – Early Learning Goals Personal, social and emotional development By the end of the foundation stage, most children will:

• continue to be interested, excited and motivated to learn;

• be confident to try new activities, initiate ideas and speak in a familiar group;

• maintain attention, concentrate, and sit quietly when appropriate;

• have a developing awareness of their own needs, views and feelings and be sensitive to the needs, views and feelings of others;

• have a developing respect for their own cultures and beliefs and those of other people;

• respond to significant experiences, showing a range of feelings when appropriate;

• form good relationships with adults and peers;

• work as part of a group or class, taking turns and sharing fairly, understanding that there need to be agreed values and codes of behaviour for groups of people, including adults and children, to work together harmoniously;

• understand what is right, what is wrong, and why;

• dress and undress independently and manage their own personal hygiene;

• select and use activities and resources independently;

• consider the consequences of their words and actions for themselves and others;

• understand that people have different needs, views, cultures and beliefs, which need to be treated with respect;

• understand that they can expect others to treat their needs, views, cultures and beliefs with respect.

Communication, Language and literacy By the end of the foundation stage, most children will be able to:

• enjoy listening to and using spoken and written language, and readily turn to it in their play and learning;

• explore and experiment with sounds, words and texts;

• listen with enjoyment and respond to stories, songs and other music, rhymes and poems and make up their own stories, songs, rhymes and poems;

• use language to imagine and recreate roles and experiences;

• use talk to organise, sequence and clarify thinking, ideas, feelings and events;

• sustain attentive listening, responding to what they have heard by relevant comments, questions or actions;

• interact with others, negotiating plans and activities and taking turns in conversation;

• extend their vocabulary, exploring the meanings and sounds of new words;

• retell narratives in the correct sequence, drawing on the language patterns of stories;

• speak clearly and audibly with confidence and control and show awareness of the listener, for example by their use of conventions such as greetings, 'please' and 'thank you';

• hear and say initial and final sounds in words, and short vowel sounds within words;

• link sounds to letters, naming and sounding the letters of the alphabet;

• read a range of familiar and common words and simple sentences independently;

• know that print carries meaning and, in English, is read from left to right and top to bottom;

• show an understanding of the elements of stories, such as main character, sequence of events, and openings, and how information can be found in non-fiction texts to answer questions about where, who, why and how;

• attempt writing for various purposes, using features of different forms such as lists, stories and instructions;

• write their own names and other things such as labels and captions and begin to form simple sentences, sometimes using punctuation;

• use their phonic knowledge to write simple regular words and make phonetically plausible attempts at more complex words;

• use a pencil and hold it effectively to form recognisable letters, most of which are correctly formed.

Mathematical development

By the end of the foundation stage, most children will be able to:

• say and use number names in order in familiar contexts;

• count reliably up to 10 everyday objects;

• recognise numerals 1 to 9;

• use language such as 'more' or 'less', 'greater' or 'smaller', 'heavier' or 'lighter', to compare two numbers or quantities;

• in practical activities and discussion begin to use the vocabulary involved in adding and subtracting;

• find one more or one less than a number from 1 to 10;

• begin to relate addition to combining two groups of objects, and subtraction to 'taking away';

• talk about, recognise and recreate simple patterns;

• use language such as 'circle' or 'bigger' to describe the shape and size of solids and flat shapes;

• use everyday words to describe position;

• use developing mathematical ideas and methods to solve practical problems.

Knowledge and understanding of the world

By the end of the foundation stage, most children will be able to:

• investigate objects and materials by using all of their senses as appropriate;

• find out about, and identify some features of, living things, objects and events they observe;

• look closely at similarities, differences, patterns and change;

• ask questions about why things happen and how things work;

• build and construct with a wide range of objects, selecting appropriate resources, and adapting their work where necessary;

• select the tools and techniques they need to shape, assemble and join the

materials they are using;

• find out about and identify the uses of everyday technology and use information and communication technology and programmable toys to support their learning;

• find out about past and present events in their own lives, and in those of their families and other people they know;

• observe, find out about, and identify features in the place they live and the natural world;

• begin to know about their own cultures and beliefs and those of other people;

• find out about their environment, and talk about those features they like and dislike.

Physical development

By the end of the foundation stage, most children will be able to:

• move with confidence, imagination and in safety;

• move with control and coordination;

• show awareness of space, of themselves and of others;

• recognise the importance of keeping healthy and those things which contribute to this;

• recognise the changes that happen to their bodies when they are active;

• use a range of small and large equipment;

• travel around, under, over and through balancing and climbing equipment;

• handle tools, objects, construction and malleable materials safely and with increasing control.

Creative development

By the end of the foundation stage, most children will be able to:

• explore colour, texture, shape, form and space in two and three dimensions;

• recognise and explore how sounds can be changed, sing simple songs from memory, recognise repeated sounds and sound patterns and match movements to music;

• respond in a variety of ways to what they see, hear, smell, touch and feel;

• use their imagination in art and design, music, dance, imaginative and role play and stories;

• express and communicate their ideas, thoughts and feelings by using a widening range of materials, suitable tools, imaginative and role play, movement, designing and making, and a variety of songs and musical instruments.