bath impact volume 11 issue 12

Volume 11 Issue 12 Tuesday 20th April 2010 www.bathimpact.com

News in Brief

Gordon Brown visited the Queen on April 6th, and asked her to dis-solve Parliament in preparation for a General Election, which will take place on May 6th. The first ever live televised election debate between party leaders took place on Thursday.

4 West was completed dur-ing the Easter holidays. The building replaces the old 4

West, which was demolished in 2005.

It will house the Department of

Mathematical Sciences, a café, stu-dent services, a postgraduate centre with social space, and the offices of the Vice Chancellor and University Secretary.

Efficient lighting, ‘sustainable goat-

The now complete 4 West building

4 West finally finished » Earlier stages were responsible for overall delays » Final part of the project “on time and within budget”

Election date set

See page 6-7 for election analyses by Gus Lamb and Ginny Westmin-

ster, and page 17 for a report

FirstGroup have raised local bus fares. From April 4th, all single fares are 10p higher, and returns are 15p extra. VP Communications Ben Cole bemoaned the move on Twitter “if you put your prices up on student routes it might be nice if you could tell the students’ union [sic]!”

Orange bus fares increased

See page 2-3 for more University news

hair carpets’, and a concrete cooling system contribute to the energy effi-ciency of the new building, which was given an environmental rating of ‘ex-cellent’ by BRE Global Ltd.

In April, the Department of Estates announced the building’s completion “on time, and within budget”. It is correct that the current contractors, Cowlins, completed building work within the budget and timescale set for that part of the project, but this was the last stage of a project which stretches back to 1998, and has suf-fered a number of unforeseeable com-plications.

The original demolition contract was delayed by the need to rehouse occupants of the old building, and, more significantly, because the origi-nal contractor for that stage of the project, Controlled Demolition, went

bankrupt. The demolition was carried out in 2004 by another firm. The next stage was the building of foundations for the structure. This was delayed by the unexpected withdrawal of a con-tractor. As a University statement

Die HardScience, page 16

R.I.P. Live MusicEnts,

page 25

Die ZauberflöteFeatures,

page 10

On Wednesday 17th March, Bath’s Assembly Rooms hosted the an-nual RAG Fashion Show, which showcased clothes by Ted Baker, Guess and Republic. Bodysoc pro-vided supplementary entertain-ment at the event.

RAG fashion show a success

See page 12 for Georgina Cotton’s report

Students gather to watch the ritual gunking of their Sabbatical Officers. For our feature on RAG, see the centre pages

Glastonbury, Reading and Leeds, and V Festival have all revealed their line-ups. Stevie Wonder, U2 and Muse are to headline Glaston-bury, while the other two festivals will be headed by popular indie bands.

Summer festivals announce line-ups

See page 25 for Phil Bloomfield and Alec McLaurin’s festival guide

noted, “the start has been subject to delays, largely driven by the need to reconcile construction costs to the University’s budget” .

This led to the employment of Cow-lin who were able to begin construc-tion in November 2008, and have just finished work on the building.

£14 millionCost of the final stage

of the project

bathimpactT h e U n i v e r s i t y o f B a t h S t u d e n t s ’ U n i o n N e w s p a p e r

News www.bathimpact.com

2 Tuesday 20th April 2010 bathimpact

Dan Evans, Britain’s no.7 ten-nis player, has been ques-tioned by police over a sex-

ual assault in Bath. The victim, who is believed to be a student, had left XL on Walcot Street and was talk-ing with two men when one of them pushed her onto a discarded mat-tress and committed the assault.

Police issued a photo of three men they wished to talk to, all of whom are tennis players. Mr Evans, who is known as the “bad boy of British tennis”, is understood to be “fully co-operating”. The Mail quotes an unnamed tennis expert as saying “Dan Evans is still seen as something of a tearaway. He likes a night out and he has a his-tory of misdemeanours... He needs to grow up.” However, his father, quoted in the same paper, said “He has already been in touch with the police to tell them he had nothing to do with the sexual assault on the young girl... He is relaxed about the whole thing - as far as Dan is concerned he has exonerated him-

self from the police inquiry. From what he has said, we don’t expect this to go any further.”

In an unrelated incident, Bath Chief Constable Colin Port is hop-ing to conduct a review of the Weir Lounge. The Chronicle cites “a high level of crime and disorder caused by late night revellers” as the reason for this, claiming there has been “a string of incidents at the venue since June last year”.

Tennis star questioned over sex assault outside Bath club

» UK no.7 “fully co-operating” » Incident outside XL

The annual Paris Hitch is here! For those of you who don’t know, the Paris Hitch

is a sponsored charity hitchhike to the Eiffel Tower. This year it will be running from Bath on Fri-day 23rd April. It’s a race done in

Paris Hitch » Teams of two race to the capital

» Still time to sign upteams of two - including at least one guy - and the faster partici-pants get there, the more time they get to spend in Paris; the fastest team will win an as yet un-specified prize. It’s a chance to go to Paris for next to nothing (and is completely free to those who raise over £240 sponsorship!). The plan is for teams to leave on Fri-day morning, and make their way, by hitching, to the Eiffel Tower, hopefully all arriving on Friday evening. This leaves them that night and all of Saturday to enjoy Paris before the coach leaves on Saturday evening. If you’re inter-ested in taking part in this excit-ing, once-in-a-lifetime event then visit www.bathrag.com/parishitch or email [email protected], and visit Tom in the Volunteer Centre to sign up (1 East level 3 corridor). There are limited spaces avail-able, so students are encouraged to apply as soon as possible.

Last year the Hitch raised £14,000 for charity

This year’s Summer Ball tick-ets are already on sale for graduating students. The

event, which will take place on the 5th of June, has two types of ticket on sale: Entertainment Tickets, which give you all £37 worth of this year’s musical acts and events, and the VIP Graduate Tickets, for sale at £53.50, which include a three-course meal in the Univer-sity’s Claverton Rooms. The whole event will run from 6pm on Friday the 5th to 2am on Saturday the 6th.

The event will take place in two distinct arenas, each with its own entertainment. Arena 1 encom-passes the area surrounding the University lake, where guests will have the opportunity to be pro-fessionally photographed in their suits and enjoy the lake view while listening to a brass band. Level One will be the venue for learning how to ballroom dance, while Plug Bar will host one of two casinos, body artists and interactive enter-tainment. Street entertainers will be on Parade, performing juggling and stilt walking acts.

Arena 2 includes the Sports

Summer Ball » Tickets on sale now

» Support act not yet confirmedHall, which will host the musical guests, as well an extension area of three fully-furnished marquees with bars, a carousel and the sec-ond free casino. In addition to the carousel, the summer carnival feeling is enhanced by several free rides such as the Orbitor and the Dodgems. A food court will also be available, as well as several other on-site facilities for snack breaks.

This year’s top act, The Pigeon Detectives, have been hired by the University to perform at the Ball, as well as Scott Mills and Beat a Maxx. At the time of writing, how-ever, a support act is still to be con-firmed.

The black tie event Entertain-ment tickets will be available to the general public on the 26th of April. Tickets will be sold online through www.BathStudent.com/summerball, and can be collected at Elements between the days of 17th May and 3rd June, or can be delivered to you for an extra fee. Tickets last year sold out in less than seven hours, so those wishing to attend should get their tickets as soon as possible!

Headliners The Pigeon Detectives

The ESML department has revealed its intention not to renew the con-tract of teaching fellow Katherine Harbord, though she wishes to stay at the University. Ms Harbord, who was only employed by the Univer-sity in September, evidently made an impression on some, as the news provoked students to create a protest group on a ubiqitous social networking site, declaring their be-lief that “the department is making a grievous error in this decision.”

The group links to a survey (www.surveymonkey.com/s/LTYHVZV) where students can register their view on the decision. At the time of writing, the group had 268 mem-bers, some of whom had registered messages of support for the lecturer, describing her as an “absolute leg-end”, who is a “fantastic teacher”. One of this year’s unsuccesful Sabb candidates berated “foolish Break-well”; another added that “we need to make a hell of a fuss”.

Students protest non-renewal of lecturer’s contract

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» .

Concerns have been raised over student welfare after a report by Kingston Univer-

sity’s Dr Ron Roberts found that 25% of students know someone who has taken to the sex industry to help fund their studies, up from 3% ten years ago. 11% of those questioned would consider work-ing as an escort. Roberts believes that his results, from a survey of one London university, apply na-tionally. The BBC, reporting this, quoted ‘Chloe’, from an unnamed ‘West Country university’ as saying that “If I didn’t do [lap] dancing, I wouldn’t be able to afford to be at university”.

A spokesperson for the Univer-sity of Bath told the BBC that “We have checked with both our Stu-dents’ Union and with our Student Services department and neither feel that this issue is relevant to the University of Bath.” It is not imme-diately clear on what basis the Uni-

versity claims that the issue is not relevant to students, as neither the University nor the Students’ Union collect any sort of information on it.

In the absence of figures it is impossible to tell how many Bath students have turned to the sex industry, if any; students are re-minded that the SU runs an Aware service to give confidential advice on a number of issues, including personal problems. Those wish-ing to use the service can do so by email ([email protected]) tel-ephone (01225 386906) or in per-son, at the AWARE Centre in 1East Level 3.

Students turning to sex industry?

» Scale of problem not known » Concerns raised by Professor

In light of disappointing attend-ance at recent events, the Flirt! event on Friday night will now be “FREE before 11.30 and £3 there after [sic]”. The price change, co-inciding with a minor increase in drink prices, will be in effect un-til the end of term.

The Bath Soup Company, which was founded by former Bath students, has launched a temporary shop in Milsom Place as part of Best in the West, a month-long event celebrating lo-cal food. Jason Malone, Dominic Povey and Ed Smyth took part in the Student Enterprise 09 event, where their produce proved so successful they decided to ex-pand, and the firm is now rea-sonably successful.

SORTED, the SU department which “offers students at Bath University free training sessions to develop transferable skills to improve employment pros-pects”, is looking for Student Trainers for the next academic year. Students interested in this opportunity should attend the SORTED awards night on Wednesday 28th April, or email [email protected] with a brief description of the skills they have which make them well-equipped for the role.

A collaborative project be-tween academics at the Univer-sities of Bath and Dundee, and Indian scientists, are hoping to invent a way to make concrete from rice husks and coal ash. Bath Professor Kevin Paine said that “concrete is the second most used material in the world after water, and so reducing the CO2 emissions produced by it could make a real difference to climate change.”

Niraj Kumar, a PHD student from the School of Management, has been recognised by the Brit-ish Council’s International Stu-dent Awards, which honour the UK’s best international students. Kumar was selected as a “region-al runner-up”. He will shortly re-ceive an award and prize of £100.

39 year-old Bath Spa Alumni Shaun McGall has been ap-pointed the new Mayor of Bath, and will take office in June. He served as a local councillor for eleven years, and, according to the Bath Chronicle, “has made it his business to improve relations between Bath and its student population”.

News in briefNewswww.bathimpact.com

3Tuesday 20th April 2010bathimpact

Tomorrow Bath’s Parliamentary candidates will face each other in a General Election Symposium, taking place in 8w1.1 at 1pm. The confirmed guests are Lib Dem in-cumbent Don Foster, Conservative Fabian Richter, Labour’s Hattie Ajderian, Green Party candidate Eric Lucas and UKIP’s Ernie War-render. There are two other can-didates, Champagne Charlie from

the Monster Raving Loony Party, and Robert Craig, from the English Democrats, an anti-EU and anti-immigration party, are not sched-uled to attend. A series of other events relating to the election will be happening throughout the day, including a talk on the rise of the extreme Right by University Dean Roger Eatwell.

Bath Parliamentary candi-dates to debate on campuis

» Main three parties to be represented

A recent debate on tuition fees proved popular

Richard G

uthrie

Union newsStudents’ Union wins environmental award

University receives £750,000 donation

The National Union of Students has recognised Bath Uni Students’ Union as one of the UK’s most en-vironmentally friendly, giving it silver in the Sound Environmental Impact Awards on March 31st. The SU was ranked 6th out of 83, and was close to winning gold. Recent

The Esther Parkin Trust has do-nated £750,000 to the University, which will use it to “support an an-nual Visiting Professorship for emi-nent visitors from abroad [and] six PhD students of high academic abil-ity also from outside the UK.”

David Parkin, who lectured in the Physics department for many years, used money inherited from his mother to set up a charitable trust to help fund projects at the University, including the construction of the Es-ther Parkin Residences on campus.

environmental initiatives of the Un-ion include lobbying for fewer bins, a cycle path, and more recycling fa-cilities. A Union statement declared that “[We] will continue to work hard on green issues with the aim of achieving a gold award at next year’s ceremony.”

The University are currently considering changes to their ‘fitness to practise’ policy. The

policy currently applies only to phar-macy students, and means that stu-dents can be disqualified from their course if they exhibit severe mental or physical disturbances, inappropri-ate or criminal behaviour, plagiarism, cheating, or persistent lecture non-attendance. This is insisted on by the Royal Pharmaceutical Society to en-sure Pharmacists comply with their standards of competence and suit-ability. Under the proposals currently

being considered, this policy may be extended more widely, to include any students on courses which lead to jobs in areas for which ‘fitness to practise’ is considered relevant, pri-marily jobs which involve interacting with vulnerable people, for example education and social work. The policy has proved controversial within the University and Students’ Union be-cause any students excluded under its terms are not granted any kind of de-gree, and, due to the relatively broad scope of the policy, could be applied in cases in which it is inappropriate.

Changes considered to Fitness to Practise policy

Currently only affects pharmacists, but may be extended to more courses

Problematic students can be prevented from graduation

Last week saw the annual NUS con-ference, at which next year’s repre-sentatives were elected. Aaron Por-ter was chosen as NUS President, and will take over from Wes Street-ing in June. The President-elect said “This is a time to continue pressu-rising politicians not to increase the cap on fees, and we will be publicly shaming those that refuse to sign our Vote for Students pledge”. New Vice Presidents Usman Ali (Higher Education) and Shane Chowen (Fur-ther Education) were also elected, along with Ed Marsh, who will be VP

Union Development. Marsh stated his belief that the NUS “should not be the voice of seven million stu-dents, but seven million voices”.

NUS Conference report » New representatives elected

Aaron Porter was elected NUS President

» .

» .

Moscow, Russia: Eduard Chu-vashov, one of Russia’s leading judges, was assassinated on April 12th. The as-sailant fled the scene, the stairwell of Chuvashov’s apartment, after shooting the judge in the head and chest, killing him instantly.

Investigators believe the murder was a contract killing related to his work, which were often “difficult crim-inal cases”, including two prosecutions of far-right groups accused of hate crimes. Last week he gave sentences of ten to twenty years to members of the ‘Ryno Gang’ who had killed at least 20 people of ‘non-Slavic appearance’. In February he gave similar sentences to members of another gang which car-ried out ethnically motivated killings.

Last year, a top anti-racist lawyer, another human rights lawyer, and an investigative journalist were killed by extremists. Charges were brought for the latter two murders; there are no suspects in the Chuvashov case.

Smolensk, Russia: A plane carrying 96 people crashed on April 10th, killing all inside, including Polish President Lech Kaczyński, the head of the army and the Governor of the Central Bank. The plane crashed in thick fog, and the incident is not thought to be suspi-cious, though Russia will hold an offi-cial enquiry, to be headed by Vladimir Putin.

The head of Parliament, Bronislaw Komorowski, has taken over the Presi-dent’s duties temporarily, and declared a national week of mourning, saying “we are united - there is no [political] left or right - we are united in national mourning”.

Kaczyński, who was elected in 2005, and his twin brother, had been active in the anti-communist move-ment in the 80s, and helped propel Lech Walesa to power after the fall of the communist government in 1990.

Up until recently, when some-one mentioned the USA and Israel in the same sentence

images would spring to mind of Obama and Netanyahu dancing hand in hand under the rain of Hamas bullets, but no more. Fissures in the once unshak-able relationship started to show when announcements of 1,600 more Jewish settlements in East Jerusalem were made during a visit to the area by the US Vice-President, Joe Biden.

Mr Biden condemned the move but

went on with the visit and announced that “the United States stands reso-lutely beside Israel against the scourge of terrorism from which both of our countries have suffered badly”. Simi-larly, Hilary Clinton said she felt insult-ed, but barely a few days later spoke of the unshakeable bond between Israel and the United States. Perhaps it’s not a case of the unshakeable bond but the unshakeable Israel lobby, which is strong in Washington. The US has found itself torn between punishing and pandering to Israel. On one hand it wishes to successfully negotiate the

ble levels. Jos, situated between the two major social groups, the Muslim North and the Christian South, has experienced the worst of the tensions in Nigeria, which has around 250 dif-ferent ethnic groups and a population of 150m. This has not been helped by Umaru Yar’Adua’s absence from his post as President, which has led to a central power-vacuum, uprisings and general chaos in the country, whose civilians are unaware who is leading them. Even though Yar’Adua has ap-parently returned from hospital, and is now back in Nigeria, he still hasn’t returned to his post.

Meanwhile back at base, the newly appointed Mr Jonathan has dissolved the cabinet, whose members are to be replaced by some of his own ‘special choices’. Some see this as a way of getting rid of Yar’Adua supporters in favour of his own, but is this really a bad move? Many argue that it isn’t. Clearly the cabinet had not been ef-fective in stopping killings occurring. Mr Jonathan has even been said to be too cautious in what is an urgent matter, using diplomacy when per-haps force would be more effective. As Wole Soyinka, winner of the Nobel lit-erature prize in 1986 argues, it’s when

World News in briefIsrael say, US do? terms between Israel and Palestine, and gain the title of ‘honest broker’, an impossible feat unless Israel ceases building settlements. On the other hand it feels the strings of the powerful Israel lobby restraining it.

provisional government, and promised elections would be held in six months.

Mr Bakiyev was brought to power in 2005 by a popular uprising known as the ‘Tulip Revolution’, and prom-ised to combat corruption and poverty, but was seen as having failed at this, and was accused of nepotism and au-thoratarianism.

Discontent had been visible since 2007; April of that year saw mass protests against the government. Two years later, the presidential elec-tion was denounced by international

Goodluck Jonathan, you’ll need it

Goodluck Jonathan is an ironic name for someone put in charge of one of Africa’s most

troubled countries. Mr Jonathan was named acting President of Nigeria in February after a few months of riots caused by the power-vacuum which developed when the head of state, Umaru Yar’Adua, disappeared abroad for medical treatment. Not bad for a person who has never been elected to

major public office in his own right. Some say his name is rather apt for describing his own fortune in being named President. Others, however, argue that he has work cut out for him.

The situation in Nigeria is some-what delicate after the massacres in Jos, the latest (7th March) claim-ing an estimated 500 lives, tensions in the country have reached palpa-

500Number killed in recent

religious riots

Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu meets Barack Obama at the White House

1,600Number of Israeli settle-

ments to be built in a dis-puted part of Jerusalem

Chloe WittetNews Writer

World www.bathimpact.com


Chloe WittetNews Writer

observers, and the main opposition leader pulled out on election day citing “mass voter fraud”.

A US airbase in the country is crucial to the war in Afghanistan, and, after re-ceiving $1.3 billion in aid from Russia last February, Bakiyev agreed to close it down, but reneged on his promise, a move which upset the Kremlin. On this basis, some allege that the Russian government had a hand in the coup, though they denied this.

Ventersdorp, South Africa: White supremacist leader Eugene Terre-blanche has been killed. Two of his farm employees have been arrested over the incident. Initial reports sug-gested the killing followed a dispute about unpaid wages, though it was later alleged the killers acted in self defence, as Terreblanche was trying to sexually assault them. Mr Terreblanche, who had spent three years in prison for at-tempted murder, was the leader of the Neo-Nazi Afrikaner Resistance Move-ment, which advocated the creation of a separate white homeland. The con-troversial leader had fought to preserve Apartheid, and threatened to instigate a civil war if plans to hand power to Mandela’s ANC went ahead. President Zuma condemned the killing, issuing a statement asking “South Africans not to allow agent provocateurs to take ad-vantage of this situation by inciting or fuelling racial hatred.”

The timing of the announcement could not have been worse. After years of negotiations, the Americans were finally making headway in the peace agreements between Palestine and Israel, largely thanks to George Mitch-ell, the US peace envoy. Mahmoud Abbas, Palestine’s President, had fi-nally agreed to negotiate a two-state solution as long as Israel would cease its settlement building. Though Mr Netanyahu denies his involvement in the plans, claiming it to be a low-level bureaucratic process, he hasn’t put a stop to it either.

The US administration is going to have to make a choice of where its pri-orities lie; is it going to accept the token bouquet of flowers from its discourte-ous other half, or is Israel going to be sleeping on the sofa for a while?

there is no strong leader in place that desperation takes over and the kill-ings begin.

What is certain is that the military cannot be relied on to run Nigeria. The ‘militrician’, or military politician, is all too common in Nigeria. They had the intelligence and the capabili-ties to prevent the killings in Jos; a public announcement had been made a week before by the Inspector Gen-eral talking of forthcoming eruptions, but nothing was done to prevent it. Some feel the massacres are the work of unscrupulous politicians wanting to settle scores, so perhaps a new cabi-net and change of direction is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Whatever the outcome, Mr Jonath-an must move fast and bring reform to the Nigerian electorate by next year’s elections, otherwise the country is go-ing to need more than just Goodluck!

Umaru Yar’Adua with Dimitry Medvedev

Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan: On April 7th, riots broke out over government cor-ruption and energy prices, leaving 75 dead and 1,000 injured. The violence caused President Kurmanbek Bakiyev and his government to flee from the capital. Opposition leader Roza Otun-bayeva announced herself head of a

www.BathStudent.com/entertainments

Mon. 19th AprilDowntown @ Po Na Na 10pm-2am

Wed. 21st AprilSCORE! 9:30pm-2am

Fri. 23rd Aprilflirt! Clubbers and Ravers 9:30pm-3amFREE ENTRY B4 11:30pm

Sat. 24th AprilComeplay 10pm - 2am

Mon. 26th AprilDowntown 10pm-2am

Tues. 27th AprilTiffany Page - Ulive 7:30pm-11pm

Wed. 28th AprilSCORE! 9:30pm-2am

Fri. 30th Aprilflirt! 9:30pm-3am

Sat. 1 MayComeplay 10pm-2amC

lub N

ights

live sportsMon.19th April

Liverpool Vs West Ham 8pm (Premier League)

Tues. 20th AprilInter Milan Vs Barcelona 7:45pm (UEFA Champions League Semi Final)

Thurs. 22nd AprilAtletico Madrid Vs Liverpool 8:05pm (Europa League Semi Final)

Sat. 24th AprilMan. United Vs Tottenham 12:45pm (Premier League)Arsenal Vs Man. City 5:30pm (Premier League)

Sun. 25th AprilIPL Final (Cricket) 3pm

Wed. 28th AprilBarcelona Vs Inter Milan (UEFA Champions League Semi Final)

Thurs. 29th AprilLiverpool Vs Atletico Madrid (Europa League Semi Final)

19 April-1 MAy

University of BathStudents’ Union

Last week, as you’re no doubt already aware, the Queen officially dissolved Par-

liament in preparation for what promises to be the biggest elec-tion battle since Labour’s victory in 1997. The recent YouGov and IPSOS MORI polls place Labour around 5 points behind the Con-

servatives, meaning that Labour need to cling on to 24 seats to retain an absolute majority. On the other hand, for a Conserva-tive majority, the opposition party need to gain a whopping 116 seats, otherwise the rarity of a hung par-liament under the First Past the Post system will become a reality.

A hung Parliament occurs when no parties have a majority in the House of Commons, resulting in the creation of either a coalition government, or – which is more likely in the event of Conservative gains – a Parliament with a mi-nority government.

The Liberal Democrats have hinted that they are inclined to support the latter if a hung Par-liament occurs, giving rise to the potential for inter-party disputes when it comes to passing legisla-tion. The last time the UK expe-rienced such a phenomenon was in 1974, and it only lasted a mere 8 months before parliament was dissolved and another general election took place. But, as po-litically compelling as the concept may be, a hung Parliament is set to further jeopardise our econom-ic recovery.

While this might not seem im-portant to you, reading this over a Pitstop sandwich, it means your vote in this general election could just be worth more for your well-being than a Kickin’ Chicken.

For starters, one of the worry-ing aspects of a hung Parliament for both voters and political par-

ties is that the failure to form a successful coalition government could result in a second general election – an unnecessary drain on both finances and the public. For economists, the worry is that this would encourage any party to delay their fiscal consolida-tion plan (e.g. increased taxes and spending cuts) with a view to gain marginal votes. Crucially, any de-lay in formulating a sustainable fiscal consolidation plan could result in a run on sterling and a possible downgrade on the UK’s credit rating. While cutting pub-lic spending – as promised by the Conservatives – would strengthen sterling’s position, the possibility of a hung Parliament means that early fiscal consolidation may be shelved for a little longer than economists had hoped.

Is that really such a bad thing? Well, firstly, markets are very sen-sitive about uncertainties. Credit agencies have been considerably more careful in their ratings since the banking crisis. The UK is cur-rently on watch, and they have advised the government to reduce national debt, fearing that the UK will not be able to support a higher fiscal deficit which will in turn in-crease the possibility of a default. In light of events in Iceland and Greece, some economists would certainly advise tightening the purse-strings. If the UK is down-graded from its AAA credit sta-tus (the highest possible rating),

this would send shocks down the foreign exchange market, stock market and bond markets, and a hung Parliament could be just the catalyst.

However, the last quarterly ONS figures show that the Brit-ish economy has only just come out of recession in 2009 Q4 (and even then by only a margin of 0.3% GDP growth on the previous quarter), and the Labour govern-ment maintains that cutting pub-

Hanging on to public financesConfused by all this talk of a ‘hung Parliament’? If so, read on to learn what all the fuss is about and to find out what politics contributors Ginny Westminster and Gus Lamb think about the possibility of such an outcome from the next election

While this might not seem important to you, reading this over a Pit-

Stop sandwich, it means your vote in this general

election could just be worth more for your

well-being than a Kickin’ Chicken

lic spending and consolidating fiscal finances too soon could lead to what’s known as a ‘double-dip’ recession. Clearly, public finances would need to be addressed even-tually, but the question dividing

Name: Gordon BrownParty: Labour PartyDate of Birth: 20 February 1951 Alma mater: University of Edin-burgh

GB says:I got us into this mess, it’s only fair I get us out of it.Vote for me, because last time, I didn’t let you. Striking?! So, what, they’re com-plaining because they are employed now? I can’t win!

Name: David CameronParty: Conservative Party Date of Birth: 9 October 1966 Alma mater: University of Oxford

DC says:I’m down with the kids, but unlike Tinie Tempah, I got so many clothes I keep them in my ducks’ house. I’m the face of change for Britain, but I plan on pocketing yours to pay for it. I’ll deliver on Europe, by re-branding ourselves as UKIP and losing all our influence.

Name: Nick Clegg Party: Liberal DemocratsDate of Birth: 7 January 1967Alma mater: University of Cam-bridge

NC says:No, I wasn’t ever in Last of the Summer Wine.Yes, honestly.Think of us as politics equivalent of Jedward – the loveable underdog; entertaining, hopeless and none of us look good in yellow.

Now, where to put that ‘x’...

With an unpredictable job market and promises of increased tuition fees,

you might want to give a thought to how to

make the system work for you

economists everywhere is when is it best to do this? Two groups of leading economists last month came out in support in the Finan-cial Times and the Sunday Times, of the respective policy proposals for and against delaying until 2011 at the earliest. At last week’s Bath Economics Society (BEST) Sum-mit, Hamish McRae from The In-dependent pointed out that both groups’ arguments for support-ing policy are fundamentally the same, the only difference is the

The Labour govern-ment maintains that

cutting public spending too soon could lead to

what’s known as a ‘dou-ble dip’ recession

timing and the minimal cost dif-ference incurred between them.

Naturally, a hung Parliament will make it difficult for parties to agree on which date is best, but if economists themselves are divid-ed on who to back come election day, that makes our job of decid-ing who goes boom and who goes bust all the more difficult.

Should the market be this occu-pied with the prospect of a hung Parliament? Martin Wolf of the Financial Times argues on the contrary; that in fact, the most ef-ficient and successful fiscal con-solidation happens in coalition governments. And of course, us first-time voters – for the most part more concerned with single issues than party track records – are likely to benefit from better representation in a coalition gov-ernment, where smaller parties are able to participate more ac-tively in mainstream politics. The Liberal Democrats, for example, who are currently trailing around 20 points behind the Conserva-tives, and have considerable stu-dent backing, have indicated that they wish to seek support for poli-

cies rather than seats in the Cabi-net. With their Shadow Chancel-lor Vince Cable, (or Invincecable as he’s known in the game) aiding Darling or Osborne in our eco-nomic recovery under a coalition, the UK might actually be in a posi-tion to negotiate the best of both policy proposals, and politicians will be obliged to listen to voters.

But let’s not get ahead of our-selves. The election is still a month away and the general public is still to decide on their preferred can-didate.

However, voters in marginal constituencies have shown, in re-cent Reuters polls that they un-knowingly support a hung Parlia-ment through wanting change in government but not in leadership.

While you’re unlikely to be worrying about any of this amid coursework deadlines and what you’re going to wear to ‘Flirt!’ lat-er, with an unpredictable job mar-ket and promise of increased tui-tion fees, you might want to give a thought to how to make the sys-tem work for you. Will it? Watch this space.

Opinion www.bathimpact.com


chance to boo the villains off-stage. And yes, they exist in each party.

For many of us this will be our first chance to vote. A whole genera-tion of students have grown up under Labour, watched as Blair did his best, and worst, and were seen and not heard when it came to the single most important issue for us as citizens: tui-tion fees. For the first time, a genera-tion of Labour’s children are now at the forefront of British politics, with the power to commend and condemn those who have shaped our education process. We finally have the oppor-tunity as first-time voters to come of age, pen-in-hand, to pop our voting cherry. Surely there can be nothing more exciting!

Admittedly, we are all guilty of finding excuses not to actively par-ticipate in the electoral process, and it's true enough that nowadays the three main parties seem to offer the same policies, aim to tackle the same problems, and point the finger at each other when it comes to taking respon-sibility. As if it's not difficult enough deciphering who’s 'all that' and who’s 'all talk' when it comes to policy and manifestos, the media adds to the problem. This makes it somewhat unsurprising that at the last election, voting figures were at an all-time low.

It's a sobering fact that more people voted in the X-Factor final than in the last general election. But, if you know your JLS from your BNP, then you will also know that voting is not only going to make a valid contribution, but is also your democratic duty.

While you may not have paid much attention when Labour won

over Britain in 1997 (or, dare I say it, in subsequent elections), and while you may perceive Ca-maroon to be just another shade of Brown, with the promise of another truly compelling competition between the three main parties, desperately trying to steer away from (or in the Lib Dem’s case, towards) a hung parliament, I ask you to cast your minds back to 1997 and think about what has got you whoop-ing or hissing since.

Back then we were fresh, innocent young souls, blissfully ignorant of the

General ignorance and why your vote mattersGinny WestminsterOpinion Contributor

The lack of representa-tion for issues that stu-

dents care most about may suggest trouble

ahead for student turn-out at the election

evils of politics, peerages and Peter Mandelson. Our only money troubles concerned how much Woolworth’s pick-and-mix you could get for your week’s pocket money, our only expec-tations of the NHS were that we’d get a lollipop and a novelty plaster after our jabs. For some of you, your wor-ries may still be the same. For others, it may just be the NHS that is a pain in your side, but for all of us, life after university and seeing the economy out of recession is not just in our in-terest but is our next task. There will come a time when you, as your par-ents before you, will want to blame politicians for past mistakes, but right now, as a generation, we’re all under the spotlight.

The lack of representation for is-sues that students care most about may suggest trouble for students’ turnout in the general election. How-ever, as those proactive few among us are aware, you can’t steer politics to suit you unless you show that you care. If you don’t know enough about what’s on offer, do a little research, speak to your local MP, let him/her know what you want and what they can offer you in return for your sup-port. Don’t just take a back seat in

A whole generation of students have grown up under Labour, watched as Blair did his best, and

worst, and were seen and not heard when it

came to the issue of tui-tion fees

what is essentially your future.For those of you still not convinced,

note then, that while no parties are offering further direct support to uni-versity graduates struggling to find a job, one thing Labour have done for you is guarantee that when you do find one, you’d have more money in your pocket than this time ten years ago, thanks to their establishment in 1999 of a minimum wage. What’s more, this year’s budget announced plans to cut Stamp Duty for first-time buyers, so that when you eventually save up that pocket money to get your own place, it shouldn’t be as much of a struggle. Whether this is enough for you to excuse them of the burden of tuition fees, though, is up to you. Re-gardless, this is your first opportunity to hold Labour accountable, to tell No 10. what it is that YOU want, and demand that when you do finish uni, your money will not be spent buying Mr Clegg biscuits and trimming Mr Cameron’s bush.

While the candidates themselves may be more Widow Twanky than Prince Charming, don’t let that put you off. Whatever your view (you have one), shout it, or else it may come back to haunt you.

Opinionwww.bathimpact.com


With the next General Elec-tion looming and compe-tition between the three

main parties hotting up, it's time to put aside those books for a second, and give a thought to who you’re go-ing to vote for.

‘But I’m not going to vote’ you say. Oh yes you are. Despite the Punch and Judy politics we’re used to in this country, of ‘he said/ she said’ accusa-tions and counter accusations, of spin and spam campaigning, and of look-ing on as each side verbally bonks the other on the head during Prime Minister’s Questions, it's finally our

new face of Waitrose, for which the luxury supermarket is paying her almost £10m. Yet the startling question this raises is; why is Delia bothering?

Footballers already receive out-rageously huge salaries that can-not possibly reflect their level of skill or experience. Brain surgeons, lawyers or professors, people with staggering levels of ability in their respective fields, earn peanuts compared to the footballers of to-day. So why do footballers earn so much? Because as far as many peo-ple can work out, all players do is run around for an hour and a half, watched by millions of people that could have done with the exercise.

Well, players generate vast rev-enues for the clubs they play for. When David Beckham signed to L.A. Galaxy in 2007, match ticket sales increased by 25%, American broadcaster ESPN recorded view-ing figure rises of over 23% when-ever Beckham played and the club’s revenue increased by over $17m (£11.1m) in that season alone.

Renowned TV chef Delia Smith has this week an-nounced that she will sin-

gle-handedly attempt to save her beloved Norwich City Football Club from the perils of bankruptcy. How will she do this you ask? Well, I’m afraid a friendly cake sale is out of the question as ‘the Canaries’ are supposedly £23m in debt. A new cook book possibly? However, that’s also unlikely, as the only

readers of Delia’s previous ‘How to Cheat’ recipe book turned out to be John Terry and Ashley Cole. The only option left open to poor Delia is to appear on TV. Not on frivolous shows such as ‘I’m a Celebrity… Get me some Panto work’, but as the

Moreover, whilst a regular career may span 25-30 years, a typical footballer’s is over in less than nine. Retirement in the football industry arrives at thirty-three, and bearing in mind the sheer level of unpaid training required to reach a profes-sional level, many players will only play for their respective clubs for eight years or less.

However most importantly, players get paid huge sums of money because the market dictates that they should. If Joe Public was really that bothered that football-ers were paid too much, he would cancel his Sky Sports subscription, boycott the games and refuse to buy any replica kit. Yet whilst he con-tinues to pay £50 a month for TV, £50 for a match ticket and £50 for a club shirt, football will continue to be a boom industry and be able to afford such high salaries for its top players.

Yet since footballers have the money to save their clubs, why don’t they? Too busy shacking-up with each other's wives I suspect.

But the most likely culprits for football’s wayward financial per-formance may be WAGs. Whilst their husbands are earning money on the field, their wives are spend-ing it on the surgeon’s table, leav-ing no money left for players to bail

Delia can’t save football, Coleen’s our only hopeDavid JamesOpinion Contributor

The only readers of Delia’s previous ‘How

to Cheat’ recipe book turned out to be John Terry and Ashley Cole

out their clubs. So my advice this week goes to football managers eve-rywhere, keep the players but lose their girlfriends. You won’t only be saving British football, but you’ll stop Delia having to interrupt ‘Cor-onation Street’ yet again this week.

After reading ‘Reflections on the modern male student’ in the 10th edition of Im-

pact, I came away confused and slightly vexed. After an initial read, the writer appears to sympathise whole-heartedly with the appar-ent heterosexual female dilemma:

where are all the nice guys? Must we be repeatedly shagged and left, bringing us ever closer to the seemingly inevitable gin-fuelled evenings spent alone surrounded by cats, the only creatures to ever give us the affection and loyalty we (apparently) so richly deserve from being born female? Whilst that may be a somewhat over-egged drama-tisation, the impression I got from reading this article left me truly baffled about how straight male and female students really view one another. Is it true that there are simply ‘nice guys’ and ‘laddish louts’ and it’s up to us pretty, clever

girls to come to our senses and stop dating the bad guys and give the nice ones a chance to wow us? Or something like that. Sounds suspi-ciously like the plot from ‘There’s Something About Mary’.

So can it really be so black and white? I am appreciative of the fact that this article had the best of in-tentions. Singing the praises of the ‘confident, beautiful and educated women’ of Bath University is surely a nice thing to do. However, whilst I am not trying to assert that any of the women attending Bath Uni-versity don’t fit neatly into this flat-tering description, I am not sup-portive of the overall impression of female students given either. As a girl myself, I have made mistakes involving relationships before, and undoubtedly will again. My mistakes have not, however, been down to my uncontrollable femi-nine weakness for the ‘bad guy’ I can assure you. I can’t necessarily speak for all of my fellow female students here. Maybe, for whatever deeply rooted psychological rea-son, some girls are attracted to guys who will love them and leave them. Personally, being on a course made up almost entirely of ‘confident, beautiful and educated women’, I can’t say that this is an impression that is familiar to me. As much as I am supportive of the idea of a self-respecting attitude in girls (and

female student body is justified, and it is, however unintentionally, fairly offensive. I’m sure I’m not the only girl within the boundaries of the university to allow myself to be chatted up by a nice looking guy who perhaps has a little more in-terest in himself than anyone else, but that is a far cry from lusting af-ter them.

The article to which I refer also speaks of the ‘oppressive sexuali-sation’ that occurs within the uni-versity on the part of the so-called laddish louts. Undeniably, yes, this does happen. Some men will talk about women in a degrading way, just as some women may choose to berate men. It happens. One-night stands happen, but this is not

to say that both parties have not participated with the same sense of self-interest. What IS oppres-sive is to assume that if a girl does choose to sleep with a guy who can most aptly be described as an arse that she has not chosen to do so for her own gratification, and inevita-bly will be left heartbroken in the morning when, semi-conscious, she just catches a glimpse of him through the haze of dust thrown up from his sprint away from her.

This isn’t intended to be a femi-nist rant and I am understand-

The modern female student... or is it?Sophie WinwoodOpinion Contributor

One-night stands hap-pen, but this is not to say that both parties

have not participated with the same sense of

self-interest

ing of the intention of said article to be supportive and encouraging to women, which I can’t disagree with in principle. Nonetheless, to be supportive in a way that, argu-ably, further strengthens certain stereotypes concerning both gen-ders cannot be helpful. I don’t feel that the good guys aren’t given a chance, and to imply that we girls go out looking for yet another ma-cho chauvinist to swoon over is inaccurate to say the least. Right, now I’m off to burn some bras.

Must we be repeatedly shagged and left, bring-ing us ever-closer to the

seemingly inevitable gin-fuelled evenings

spent alone, surrounded by cats?

Opinion www.bathimpact.com


boys alike) and the importance of being appreciated and respected in any kind of relationship, I cannot adhere to the implied notion that we girls simply need to look further than the first testosterone-fuelled jock we see and fall helplessly into the strong arms of. I don’t believe that this generalised view of the

Continuing the quarter-life crisisFor many a student the best

method of dealing with this ail-ment of the 21st Century, the

quarter-life crisis, is to take a ‘year out’. One of the first steps for the mod-ern student in deciding to do a year out/off is to seek a fallacious justifi-cation for doing so. Different excuses are floated to explain the motivation, none of which pertain to the clear truth that it’s work avoidance and not an existential, soul-searching voyage to divine your true vocation.

Nonetheless, it would be impru-dent, given the opportunity to appre-ciate the world, not to do so; however the vast majority will find themselves in the same state of discordant, nebu-lous disorientation as soon as they return to England’s green and pleas-ant land. Travelling provides a transi-tory re-emergence into the first days of university life, its landscape of ever changing possibilities until either the bank or mummy and daddy withdraw their funding, or someone consumes something that may cause their body to no longer retain its fluids. But what

of a more instant remedy to the quar-ter-life crisis?

An odd symptom of the quarter-life crisis is the apparent onset of the need for companionship. Early on in the university career the thought of going for a ‘date’ would be met with contrived sniggers; the thought that we are trying to emulate our Ameri-can cousins or that the casual hump does not suffice.

However as the end nears these quasi-romantic rendezvous become inexplicably more frequent, maybe it is the fear of entering adulthood alone, or, more terrifying still, that everyone unwillingly does end up in the same place as their parents. In

this world of romance we are still im-mature and have no definition of what constitutes a success in this domain; is it finding someone to love or to en-ter? In a similar fashion we change our favourite watering holes, where once was the place to go, now is too busy or overdone. The enveloping realisation that the ‘guest list’ is just an invitation to queue in a different direction adds to the despondence. New, albeit more expensive, estab-lishments become the norm and the night usually ends rather sensibly; the small, disenfranchised voice in the back of the head finally has its say, its nagging tone reminding you about the seventy percent.

The cynical and gloomy tone of this article may help to communicate how someone suffering from the quarter-life crisis is adept at wallowing in their own self-pity. Not all will suffer at the hands of this blight; some have been fully focused on their goal since day one and about them, we, the suffer-ing, care very little. Unlike the mid-life crisis, buying a fast car is not an

Sam Watson completes his article about the confusing period of time which follows graduation

The enveloping realisa-tion that the ‘guest list’

is just an invitation to queue in a different

direction adds to the despondence

option, but there are other ways of coping, and it is in this vain that I bid

a dispirited adieu and shall see you in Thailand.

Opinionwww.bathimpact.com


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Capricorn (22 December-20 January): No Mr Fritzl, when we advised you to teach your daughter about the birds and the bees, that’s not quite what we had in mind.

Aquarius (21 January-19 February): In the wise words of DavidMilliband, “Shakespeare is our greatest living writer”

Pisces (20 February-20 March): Exposing yourself at a performance ofCosi Fan Tutti won’t go down well. Adding ‘here’s my magic flute’ will just add to the embarrassment; that’s a different opera.

Aries (21 March-20 April): If your black friend asks why the names Enoch and Oswald are out of fashion, just pretend you don’t know.

Taurus (21 April-21 May): No, semen isn’t one of the main five foodgroups. How on earth did you get a job writing primary school textbooks?

Gemini (22 May-21 June): There’s a difference between ‘dead’ and ‘unconscious’, but it’s better not to use either term on a wedding invitation.

Greetings from the heavens my star children. I am Madame Soufflé and I will traverse the astral planes in order to guide you through the year. Fear not; for Madame Souffle will shepherd you through the darkest patches. Remember, these predictions don’t apply to the original cast of Apocalypse Now.

The Chronicles of SiâniaEpisode 12: In which I meticulously analyse electioneering

Cancer (22 June-22 July): This week’s theme: I shot the Sheriff. Nextweek’s: But I didn’t shoot the deputy. The week after: And I always pay my TV license on time, so please let me off.

Leo (23 July-22 August): If reading the Kama Sutra, don’t confuse theSanskrit phrases for ‘penis’ and ‘butternut squash’; or ‘put in vagina’ and ‘blend and add to risotto’.

Virgo (23 August-21 September): Sorry to break it to you, but a car bomb is not a form of constructive criticism.

Libra (22 September-22 October): Beauty is only skin deep, as Ed Geinonce told me.

S c o r p i o ( 2 3 O c t o b e r - 2 1 November): “Have you ever been to Electric Ladyland?” is a rhetorical question, and does not require the response “why yes, I do enjoy internet pornography”.

Sagittarius (22 November- 21 December): Was it really wise to attempt the chat-up-line “my sex appeal is like the Holocaust: you can’t denyit”?

Two of my more politically-minded housemates and I sat and watched Nick, Dave and

Gordy doing their best to convince a rather weirdly chosen studio audi-ence that they had the political ‘X Factor’ (a comparison attempting at reaching out to the cultural masses that, personally, made me want to hurl). Using the wonders of wire-less internet we simultaneously fol-lowed the hilariously biased Daily Mail blog, the Times’ live feed and the Guardian’s election tracker, mer-rily adding and subtracting points to the last according to very important issues such nattiness of suit (-1 Nick Clegg), spontaneity of jokes (-1 Gor-don Brown) and just being a general twat with a botox-ed forehead (-150 David Cameron). While I thought the Speaker was being a bit sensationalist in describing the debate as ‘history in

The secret diary of a SEXAHOLIC Sun, sea and...

Even though now is the time that we are meant to be studying hardest the surprise

appearance of the sun after being dormant all winter makes it harder and harder for us to concentrate. The rays of sun that fight their way through the window blinds on level 5 bring back those memories from last summer’s romantic sun sets and unexpected passionate encounters. Just reminiscing about our own lit-tle adventures made us wonder what you, dear readers, might have got up to during the holidays, and so, we wanted to hear all those wild stories fluttering around campus. We were thrilled to discover that some of you had been more adventurous than we would have ever imagined.

We have a tendency to let ourselves go and forget about our inhibitions when on foreign land. One keen trav-

of a police helicopter that was flying overhead exactly “in the moment” as it were. Other holiday favourites include aquaerobics under the hot Mexican sun and secluded spots on the Catalan coast in the early morning hours.

You don’t have to go to a hot coun-try to get steamy. Visiting Santa’s grotto isn’t the only thrill that ski re-sorts provide - you all seem to have made the most out of the potential pleasures of winter wonderland. One open-minded final year student was offered an opportunity that she just couldn’t turn down; zooming down the slippery slopes was usually the climax of her day but that day was destined to be different. She boarded the ski lift to start the climb when an-other passenger suddenly joined her, smoothly removed his skiing goggles and made eye contact. It wasn’t long before the abnormal rocking of the ski lift was turning heads on the slopes

Siân Anna LewisFeatures [email protected]

Madame Soufflé[email protected]

Horoscopes

and condensation made it impossible to see what was going on inside.

Unfortunately things don’t always run so smoothly, even on holiday. One unlucky biologist found herself lying in a French hospital following a not so elegant landing on the slopes. Her caring boyfriend flew all the way over to give her some TLC as she lay in bed with a broken knee. After the nurse had done her rounds they soon got comfortable on the narrow hos-pital bed. Her leg suspended in the

Via Donna Jenkins and Anna Kasari’s naughty minds.

air provided easy access - and he was more than willing to do all the work. This time they were lucky; they had no intruders and when the nurse came around next he was sitting at her bedside reading her the latest is-sue of Nature.

We hope you have been inspired by this selection of raunchy encounters, we certainly were… Hold on in there, there are only 46 days until freedom!!

Love the Sexperts xxx

the making’, and some genuine, spon-taneous banter would have greatly relieved the slightly weary shunt-ing back and forth of rehearsed and word-perfect (complete with pauses for emphasis and anecdotal rubbish) arguments, just having televised de-bates at all is a huge plus for British politics. My favourite moment of the debate was Cameron earnestly wax-ing lyrical on a certain ‘40 year old black man’ he knows who had ar-rived in Britain aged six and who had already served 30 years in the Royal Navy. He was ten years old when he enlisted, was he? Nice one Dave, I bet he’s real. Brown’s calm tone and big shoulders did serve him well in com-ing across as weighty and trustable (pity he’s already in power and hasn’t managed to actually be those things). David Cameron, despite looking like an infant in a posh shirt, did well when deflecting Gordon’s the-House-of-Lords-is-full-of-toffs remark, re-minding him that Labour have had 13 years to do something about it and have so far failed. Clegg (dubbed by bloggers as the ‘man with the golden tie’ - it was pretty reminiscent of a sweet wrapper) was wise in mainly staying out of any Labour v Conserva-tive bitchfights. His underdog status has been transformed overnight fol-lowing his massive surge in popular-ity after the debate: just being in the

room on the night, and not being one of the two poles in the traditional bi-nary British political system gives the Lib Dems a huge push in respectabil-ity and Obama-style shaking-up-of-the-establishment hype. The Tories may be championing innovation as well, but let’s be honest, the words “conservative” and “change” are more than a little oxymoronic.

While nothing really ground-breaking really seemed to be said in the debate, despite key issues such as immigration and crime being dis-cussed, the Times poll showed that 25% of readers had changed their minds about voting, 51% of Guardi-anists thought that Clegg came out top, and 46% of those who planned to vote Tory also agreed that Nick had performed the best.

Should yellow popularity con-tinue to grow, the least that can be said for a Lib Dem victory is that the man with the golden tie would intro-duce more level-headed new policies than Cameron, who announced that ‘a Tory government would introduce a national music talent competition called School Stars, which would in-volve local and regional heats, and would culminate in a national final’. I don’t know whether he is cleverly doing this due to the success of shows like Glee to order to get ‘down with the kids’, or is just a f**king moron.

Features www.bathimpact.com


Lib Dem candidate for Bath Don Foster is clearly an avid fan of the Sexperts, and was snapped (above) getting clued up on safe sex.

eller revealed a story that could have been in a Hollywood Blockbuster. He and his partner in crime were getting down and dirty on the sand banks of a certain LA beach. They found themselves literally in the spotlight

Food For ThoughtThe Fissue 2By Elinor Huggett and Charlotte McCulloch

Although we have already done a fissue, we decided that for such a delicious food group, once certainly wasn’t enough. So this week Charlotte visited onefishtwofish, on North Parade, while Elinor stayed home to cook some hearty fishcakes.

onefishtwofish - Review Haddock fishcakes

Although we have already done a pesce-themed feature, exceptions have to be made

for an exceptional restaurant. onefishtwofish has been on my

restaurant agenda for a long time, but it was only recently, when I was taken there on a date, that I actually realized what I had been missing out on. Located on North Parade, near to Opa, this restaurant has received rave reviews and an AA (and not just due to its vast alcohol selection) Ro-sette (2007), due to its exceptional cuisine and use of fresh sustainably sourced fish and produce; including dairy products from a local organic Jersey herd.

We went there mid-week so the atmosphere was cozy and candle lit. The exposed stone and cavernous de-sign of the restaurant resembled the cellars of a French chateau and the relaxing music echoed off the walls, only added to the intimate ambience.

After William scanned the menu for fish fingers and was sorely dis-appointed, he settled for Dover sole fillets and crayfish on mash, with a cheddar glaze.

I ordered rare black sea bream fil-let on parmesan and sundried toma-to risotto with tapenade (if you don’t know what this is, you’re obviously not posh enough to eat there)

We also ordered chips and mixed,

As fish goes, I think haddock is pretty good. It has virtu-ally no fat or salt in it, but

is packed full of protein and fishy goodness, and is not only delicious but also very easy to cook. Unfor-tunately it is also on the Greenpeace ‘seafood red list’, so I urge you to buy sustainably fished haddock only!

The following is a ridiculously simple and extremely delicious way to enjoy haddock: the best thing about it is just how impressed peo-ple are if you serve them home made fishcakes!

Cook the haddock in a hot oven for about 5 minutes, until it flakes

apart easily. Flake into the boiled potatoes and mash together. I tend to leave the skins on the potatoes, because I personally really like the texture and flavour, but that’s op-tional. Mix in the cheese and spring onion. If the mixture is too dry, add a splash of milk: it needs to be sticky enough to hold together when being fried.

Next, make the fishcakes by tak-ing handfuls of the mixture and mashing them into patty shapes (this bit is good and messy). Roll the cake in plain flour. Then heat some oil in a large frying pan, and once it is hot, cook the fishcakes until gold-en brown on either side. Serve with salad and/or chips, depending how healthy you want this to be!

Leave early on the Saturday morning and take the train from Bath Spa – changing at

Didcot Parkway, you’ll be in Oxford in just under 90 minutes (super off-peak return from £15.80). Take a three-minute walk to drop your bags off at the Central Backpackers hostel on Park End Street (dorms from £17 per night; www.central-backpackers.co.uk), then head off and grab a student ticket for the

City Sightseeing tour bus. Hop on and off all day for £10 (pay the driv-er on board) – the whole tour lasts about an hour and takes in colleges, the Bodleian Library, the Univer-sity’s gorgeous parks and a host of shops, museums and restaurants.

Make a stop for lunch at one of Mortons’ cute little cafés (at 22 New Inn Hall Street or in the Cov-ered Market) – soup and a roll, £3.50; ‘chocolate kiss’ strawberry flavoured hot choc with marsh-mallows, £2.10; cakes from £1.50. Then drop by the Covered Mar-ket (open 9am-5.30pm Monday to

Saturday, 10am-4pm on Sundays; www.oxfordcoveredmarket.co.uk) and tempt yourself with gorgeous clothes, shoes, and an obligatory trip to the Fasta Pasta deli, where you can oggle over some rather

The Travel Bug: A weekend in Oxford

Ingredients:

• 2 haddock fillets• 4 spring onions, finely chopped• A couple of medium sized pota-toes, chopped and boiled• A handful of grated cheddar• A splash of milk• Plain flour

The meals were amazing, perfectly cooked and flavoursome

steamed vegetables as side dishes. (Because we were hungry.)

The meals were amazing; perfect-ly cooked and flavoursome, the kind of taste that can only be achieved with really fresh ingredients. To ac-

delish grub. But leave room for a novelty-

flavoured scoop from one of G&D’s three infamous ice cream par-lours (Little Clarendon Street, St. Aldgates or Cowley Road; www.gdcafe.com) - Dime bar, Grand

Marnier, chocolate and chilli, Guin-ness and even port and stilton fla-vours all available from £1.75.

Having got a taste from the tour bus, take a stroll around some of Oxford’s famous colleges (free admission to most; Harry Potter-famed Christchurch College on St. Aldgates, £4.50 for students) then grab a bite to eat at The Big Bang (Walton Street, www.thebigban-

Next morning, enjoy the in-cluded light breakfast at the hos-tel before heading to Modern Art Oxford (Pembroke Street; www.modernartoxford.org.uk) - a rath-er-surreal space-themed exhibition has just finished, but there’s still plenty to take in, and admission is free. Broad Street’s Museum of the History of Science is also one not to be missed (www.mhs.ox.ac.uk, free admission). Split them up with an unmissable lunch at raved-about Japanese joint Edamame (12-3.30pm, mains from £5.00, free green tea; Holywell Street, www.edamame.co.uk). Dosed up on cul-ture, finish the day at Kazbar (Cow-

Novelty flavours at G&Ds ice-cream parlour in-clude Dime Bar, Grand Marnier, Guinness and even port and stilton

Featureswww.bathimpact.com


company these, we chose a bottle of (sweet-for me) white wine, because, as a rule of thumb, one should always have white wine with fish dahhling!

After dinner, I decided on a cham-pagne jelly with berries and Will chose a Panna Cotta with rasberry coulis. Both of these were lovely fi-nales to our amazing dining experi-ence. It was a fantastic evening, al-beit a little too expensive to become a regular activity, (it was approximate-ly £17 per main meal) and definitely not within the typical student budg-et. That said, I would recommend this restaurant 110% and there are currently deals on at certain times, which I would urge you take advan-tage of! It is a perfect setting for a romantic date or a lovely meal out with visiting family.

Chris WottonTravel Contributor

£99.52total cost, including flights and transfers

ley Road; www.kazbar.co.uk) with a couple of tapas dishes, from £2.75 – try the Pulpo a la Gallega mari-nated octopus legs, and Gambas al Chermoula Moroccan tiger prawn tails. Wash down with a glass of Sangria, £3.65, before picking up Bill Spectre’s Oxford Ghost Trail outside Oxford Castle Unlocked at 6.30pm (£6.00, www.ghosttrail.org) - the tours run whatever the weather, just don’t forget your cam-era! You’ll be finished by 8.15pm, then head for the station and hurtle back to Bath.

grestaurants.co.uk), building up an appetite on the walk there – bang-ers, mash and red wine jus, £5.50, and a local lager or ale for £3.50. Head back to the hostel and rest your feet with a quiet evening in the cosy TV lounge, where you’ll find free satellite TV, movies and wire-less internet.

I always knew Erasmus was go-ing to be mad. But I didn’t quite expect the events of the

last few weeks. After the initial stress of moving all my stuff over and realising I had in fact forgot-ten the last two years of Italian teaching at Bath and was now back to “errr, posso errr avere una *shit what’s the word for stamp* por fa-vour”. Nevertheless I grew some balls, got sorted at uni with an ex-citing timetable of French theatre and Italian journalism and started to really get stuck in.

It was when my Italian lecturer added me as a friend on Facebook that I first knew things were going to be a bit different here. Since then we’ve had transport strikes, power cuts, successions of praying Italians chanting down our street and of course have been beeped at walking down the street by any-thing from policemen to bus driv-ers. Italy really is a different world. Much like Paris however, the year abroad experience is teaching me

Foreign Correspondencethat on my travels, you really nev-er know what’s round the corner and last Friday night taught me this more than anything.

Going for a ‘few drinks’ was the first mistake of the night. You know if you declare it’ll only be a few then it will inevitably end up as an all-night session. Four cock-tails and two shots each later we were paninied (only true Michael Mcintyre fans will understand this little Italian-related anecdote). My flatmate Beau was doing her best to practise her Italian by ex-plaining to two Sicilian men how she was looking to marry into the Mafia so if they knew anyone in-terested, to point them her way. It was at this point that our table was graced by the presence of the best part of the ‘Rugby Roma’ squad.

What succeeded is a blur but from the major photographic evi-dence captured, it involved table dancing, bitch fights, me uttering the words “what can I get for four euros twenty” to the simple an-swer of “nothing”, and, of course, the unnecessary drunken meal of real.italian.pizza. Win!

The next thing we know, we’re walking through the ‘Piazza Ven-ezia’, heels in hand, at 6am in the morning, watching the sun come up. Pity I didn’t feel as enthusias-tic waking up four hours later with a cracking headache, two stolen shot glasses in my handbag and a text from my friend saying ‘are you alive?’.

Gina Danielle Reay on la dolce vita in Rome

New Spring Styles1.RomanceFrom frills to lace to bows, ultra-feminine fairytale frocks are back. Karl Lagerfeld notably used no black in the Chanel Haute Couture Spring 2010 collection, even swap-ping his infamous black suit for a grey one. Layering is key here, with wispy chiffon and tulle draped, ruched and swathed to create a la-dylike aura. Head to Topshop for sweet shop pastels to brighten up any wardrobe.

2.In the NudeNeutral hues will be making a big appearance this spring, adding an instant update to any outfit. El-

egant, barely-there pieces add a classic, understated staple to any wardrobe. Don’t be deceived into thinking it’s all a little bit lack-lustre and mindless; every piece has been carefully considered and constructed. Michael Kors cited his main inspiration as architec-ture with a focus on sharp clean lines.

3.Going globalInspired by the cultures of Africa and the Middle East, tribal and ethnic prints featured heavily in fashion week. Colour is key here, with dots, zig-zags and animal print breaking the boundaries of classic fashion. Rodarte’s show was described as juxtaposing primitivism with futurism, even sending their warrior princesses out covered in tribal tattoos. Eye popping patterns such as geomet-rics and ikats guarantee you’ll stand out from the crowd, with Alexander McQueen and Peter Pilotto leading the way for digit-ally enhanced prints. To make the tribal look more wearable, don’t wear it head to toe, simply pick a statement piece.

Rebecca Stagg on la vie Parisienne

So here I am, with barely a month left in Paris and my year abroad coming to

an end, and my first thought is: ‘thank God its nearly over!’ It’s not that I haven’t had a great year. I’ve met some fantastic people, I’ve really prepared myself for the academic challenges of final year and I really feel like I’ve experi-enced ‘la vie Parisienne’.

But having almost reached the end of my metaphoric jour-ney, I’m starting to realise the epic mistake I made which has clouded my enjoyment of this year. No, I’m not talking about the time I accidentally gave my phone number to the man in the phone shop (only in France would the phone shop man try to seduce you whilst selling you a new sim-card..) and I’m not referring to my extreme embarrassment af-ter pronouncing Pétain (a French general), ‘putain’ (look it up kids) in my French politics class. No, the biggest mistake I’ve made has

been the extremely high expecta-tions I set myself before I came to Paris.

One of the first reactions peo-ple make when you tell them you’re going abroad for a year is, ‘well, you’ll be fluent when you come back!’ This is sadly not true. There may be a few people on your course who have hidden themselves away in some dark corner of Russia and come back speaking so fast and in such slang that you can only gape in hor-ror and amazement at their im-provement. But for the majority of linguists who come back from their year aboard, a feeling of, ‘oh is that it, I thought I was meant to be bilingual by now,’ is pretty much standard. Truth is though, it’s still hard not be disappointed and compare yourself to those who seem to have come on leaps and bounds in time it’s taken you to figure where you can buy the cheapest Cadbury’s.

What I have learnt, and what I hope to remember when I embark on another journey or ‘life experi-ence’ is that it’s important to rec-ognise all of your achievements- not just the ones you had planned to gain. Since living in Paris I’ve learnt a great deal about politics and as such have decided that I want to stay on at uni to complete a Masters in something I would never have considered before. I reckon this decision will have just as important an impact on my life as any improvement to my lan-guage could have.

Fashion at Bath

Wednesday 17th March saw everyone who was anyone in the local

fashion world conjoin under one very elegant roof to watch local companies showcase their latest Spring/Summer collections in aid of Sue Ryder Care, to make for one very trendy Bath University RAG event.

It seemed only fitting that The Assembly Rooms was to host the event. The four enormous 17th Century chandeliers of the Ball Room hung above the catwalk, glistening pinks, purples and blues in the ever-changing stage lighting.

The atmosphere was one of an-ticipation as the room filled up with well-heeled businessmen, students and locals alike.

Presented by Jamie Breece, a well-known personality from both the BBC and ITV, there was never going to be a dull moment. The evening opened with Audio Bullys ft. Nancy Sinatra’s ‘Shot me Down’ on the speakers. The first collection to be shown was that of Enamore, followed by Ap-tus Suits, Phamous Clothing, Ar-shaan Gafoor, Ted Baker, Henry Hunt, Phase Eight, SW71, Repub-lic, Amour Fou, Guess and Via Appia.Performances by Bodysoc and the break dances worked per-fectly in line with the catwalk.

Sue Ryder Care, for whom the whole show was put on, raised a substantial sum of money towards their care project in Malawi. The models were made up by Benefit and Artizan. For everybody else, a goody bag and a boogie and cocktails in Opa at the Aftershow party finished the night without a faux pas in sight.

Georgina CottonFeatures Contributor

Sarah Jones lists the five trends set to be big this season

4.New waveBeach inspired collections create a new take on bodycon, with sporty neoprene pieces in marine hues. Take inspiration from Julien Mac-donald, whose sporty leggings and vests are the result of a scuba diving holiday in Sharm-el-Sheikh. Bluma-rine led the way with tie-dye prints suggesting a hippie revival with a neon twist. Details such as panel-ling and cut-outs seen at Gucci and Marc by Marc Jacob.s add an in-stant update to the Lycra minidress.

5.All that glittersSpring bling is all about faded gold, more heirloom than glossy. Add-ing a bit of sparkle using glitter, crystals, sequins or gold is a quick fix for dull wintry days. Lanvin’s sequin encrusted lounge suit dem-onstrates this trend; Prada had skirts made entirely of crystals. Or show a more playful side with me-tallic prom dresses as seen at Giles and dinosaur bags for the young at heart. This season sparkle has a sophistication that surpasses pre-vious glitzy trends.

Features www.bathimpact.com


Puzzle cornerwww.bathimpact.com


“The child, at an age when he is for a time, however short, outdone by the chimpanzee

in instrumental intelligence, can nevertheless already recognize as such his own image in a mir-ror. This recognition is indicated in the illuminative mimicry of the Aha-Erlebnis, which Köhler sees as the expression of situ-ational apperception, an essential stage of the act of intelligence.

“This act, far from exhaust-ing itself, as in the case of the monkey, once the image has been mastered and found empty, im-mediately rebounds in the case of the child in a series of gestures in which he experiences in play the relation between the movements assumed in the image and the re-flected environment, and between this virtual complex and the real-ity it reduplicates - the child’s own body, and the persons and things, around him... For me, this activity retains the meaning I have given it up to the age of eighteen months. This meaning discloses a libidinal dynamism, which has hitherto re-mained problematic, as well as an ontological structure of the human world that accords with my reflec-tions on paranoiac knowledge.

“We have only to understand the mirror stage as an identification, in the full sense that analysis gives to the term: namely, the transforma-

Puzzle corner - Jacques Lacantion that takes place in the subject when he assumes an image - whose predestination to this phase-effect is sufficiently indicated by the use, in analytic theory, of the ancient term imago.

“This jubilant assumption of his specular image by the child at the infans stage, still sunk in his motor incapacity and nursling depend-ence, would seem to exhibit in an exemplary situation the symbolic matrix in which the I is precipitat-ed in a primordial form, before it is objectified in the dialectic of iden-tification with the other, and be-fore language restores to it, in the universal, its function as subject.”

Last week’s solution: con-gratulations to Banjo Deviance, for translating Mr Naveh’s monologue for us: “Landscape Ecology can definitely help advance the proc-ess of biological evolution: just the other day, I discovered a new spe-cies of fluorescent crab in my ura-nium rockpool. This is where I get all my drinking water. Radiation poisoning is one of the fallacies of reductionist medical science, and what we need is a more holistic and orgiastic approach which rec-ognises that large, regular doses of radiation can be perfectly healthy when combined with exercise and a balanced diet.

Crossword

Across3. Using Google (9)4. Dislike of foreigners (10)6. Ballerinas; Lap ... (gentle- men’s entertainment) (7)9. Type of keyboard; Roman tic composer (6)13. Small; mirror (7)14. Fast; newspaper (7)15. Thin sphere of liquid en closing gas (6)17. World wide (6)18. Run away (7)19. Explain (9)

Down1. Surround (7)2. Begin (9)3. What Alistair Campbell was famous for (4)5. Low (antonym) (4)7. Bank bailout; energy drink (9)8. Edit (6)9. Day of the month (4)10. Idolise (7)11. Rite of... (Stravinsky) (6)12. A doing word (4)16. Choose to represent (5)Sudoku

Each Sudoku has a unique solution that can be reached logically without guessing. Enter digits from one to nine into the blank spaces. Every row must contain one of each digit. So must every column, and every 3x3 square. This one is easy, and most arthropods can do it

XKCDWe think it’s legal for us to reprint these, as XKCD publish under a Creative Commons license, though if one day we abruptly stop print-ing these, you can infer that we were mistaken on this point. If we abruptly stop printing bathimpact at all, you can assume this mis-take cost us dearly.

Sabbs’ Cornerwww.bathimpact.com


Last week myself, Daniel ‘dot’ O’Toole, George Charonis and James ‘Julie’ Huelin embarked

on a journey to Newcastle. We did this as your NUS Delegates elected by you to vote on NUS policy and decide who will run the NUS the next year.

The students that get involved are very passionate and very, very opin-ionated. It was my first experience of politically-aligned student groups such as the Social Workers Party, La-bour Students and Organised Inde-

Ben ColeVP [email protected]

What is it like to go to NUS Conference?day. The first day involved confer-ence floor discussion and debate on policy relating to the Higher Educa-tion (HE) ‘zone’ within NUS. It will surprise many to know that HE is not the only zone of the NUS. It is split into 5 zones; as well as HE, there are Further Education (FE), Welfare, Un-ion Development and Societies and Citizenship. All of the work that NUS does is categorised into one or two of those areas.

Ok, now you have the background information I’ll continue with the day. Each ‘zone’ is given a quota limiting the amount of time which can be spent discussing it. Within each zone mo-tions are put forward to be discussed and voted on. As a rule of thumb each motion has a speech for, one against, and a summation. Each motion can also have additions or deletions if they have been submitted, these also have speeches against and summations. If this sounds complicated, tedious and cumbersome to you, then you will understand why there are candidate training sessions on the first morning!

Because there is a finite amount of time for policies to be discussed and

certain things have to happen, such as the elections for the full-time of-ficers, the Democratic Procedures Committee (DPC) is very strict on the timings. So much so that if we do not get to talk about a certain policy at the end of one of the zones it just gets ig-nored. Whilst this seems unfair, once you have experienced it, you begin to realise it’s the only way to do it.

Given the number of students there, and the diverse range of view-points, it is vital to keep the chaos under control and keep timings as ac-curate as possible. This is hindered by the fact that delegates can ask for the timings to be extended. Of course, this has to have a speech for and a speech against.

The pinnacle of the first day was

the Presidential hustings. I can’t im-agine how nerve-racking that must have been, fitting for the NUS Nation-al President, but nerve-racking none-theless. Imagine the set of Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, with no space between the contestant and the audi-ence, it was just like that. Myself and Dot sat eagerly awaiting any chance to cheer our favoured candidate, Aaron Porter, so that we could show our sup-port. He went on to win the election with a landslide victory.

The second day of conference was filled with more policy debate surrounding the other three zones, speeches from all of the candidates for the VP positions, each is responsi-ble for one of the zones, as well as the elections for NUS Trustee and student members of the DPC.

I hope this somewhat whistle-stop account of NUS Conference has pro-vided an insight into what goes on; it was an immense, intense experience and I wish I had taken the chance to experience it earlier. NUS Delegates for next year will be elected at the start of the autumn term, I encourage you all to consider it!

Susie

McF

arle

ne

Showing support for the newly elected Aaron Porter and Ed Marsh

The General Election is just around the cornerA quick note from VP Communications Ben Cole on why you should vote

On the 6th of May we will choose who runs the coun-try for the next 5 years and

I wanted to use this space to write down why I thought it was impor-tant to vote. I was recently tagged in a Facebook note that summed up a few of my points of view and, with permission, have included them here.

Your vote, thought strictly anon-ymous, is an indisputable fact that no politician can deny. If you vote for candidate X, that will add one more ballot for candidate X, which is counted and added to the record, for all to see. So if candidate X re-ceived 10,000 votes, that is an in-disputable fact that no politician or policymaker can ignore.

On the whole, it is believed that students do not vote en masse. This means that policies that benefit us directly and/or accommodate our beliefs and values are being ne-glected. Why else is the higher edu-cation sector being singled out for cuts? The protesters in Tiananmen Square in 1989, and more recently the demonstrators in Tehran, were mostly students, whereas we’re just sitting back and doing nothing.

To quote an obscure Star Wars character: “The moment we stop

believing in democracy is the mo-ment we lose it.” To an extent that is true - voter apathy undermines the democratic system that has brought you personally and the country as a whole so much good, while also al-lowing the aforementioned extreme minority views to take precedence simply because the rest of us aren’t speaking up.

fore the Victorian era only an elite few could vote, with the majority consigned by birth to a lower sta-tion in life with little hope of having anything like what those at the top had.

Although most countries in the world have elections, in most countries there is massive electoral fraud, voter intimidation, media manipulation and other kinds of cheating and sometimes even vio-lence. The fact is that most people in the world long for - and many are fighting for - free and fair elections

of the kind we have.If you think things need to

change, then make it happen or nothing will change! If you like things the way they are, do your ut-most to keep it that way!

No matter what people tell you, there is no such thing as a wasted vote. Even if only 20 people vote for Candidate Y, that is a fact that cannot be disputed. And the more votes a candidate receives, the more credible an option they seem to voters in future elections.

As you can see there are many

reasons that you should vote, and that is just the opinion of one stu-dent. On that note I would like to thank Simon O’Kane for allowing me to print his viewpoint on this.

I have had many conversations with people that are not happy with the ‘state the country is in’. I am sure the readers of this arti-cle have as well. More often than not, the people sitting on the other side of that conversation haven’t voted. This is not because they did not know how or because they did not know when, but because they didn’t think they could make a dif-ference. You can. Aside from that, if you don’t use your right to vote and choose, you shouldn’t complain about the situation that we are now in.

Hopefully you have already reg-istered to vote; sadly if you have not, it is now too late. To all of you that have registered, please turn out to vote. The student voice should be something that politi-cians fear; they should be catering to our needs instead of ignoring us.

For more information on events happening before the 6th of May, voting and a video from each of the party leaders, visit www.bathstu-dent.com/ge2010/.

pendents. It was surprising to me to see how opinionated and extremely vocal seemingly subdued people could be.

The conference lasted three days, starting at 12 noon on the Tuesday following on to 4pm on the Thurs-

if we run out of time to talk about a certain

policy, it just gets ignored

Even if you think politics is boring, it can affect every part of your life. Want more postgraduate places? Worried about homopho-bic/racist undercurrents? Angry about the increase in cider duty? Concerned about a possible rise in tuition fees? If you don’t vote, your feelings about these issues will go unheard and whoever is returned to Parliament after the election will go about their agenda, unaware or uncaring about what you think.

Whether you’re male or female, your ancestors struggled, fought and died for your right to vote. Be-

The fact is that most peo-ple in the world long for (and many are fighting

for) free and fair elections of the kind we have

Right now I’m having am-nesia and déjà vu at the same time - I think I’ve forgotten this before

Expert of the week: Professor Adam Carey, for the Mail article “Water CAN make you fat: How chemicals in drink can trigger weight gain and fertility prob-lems”. He was previously quoted by the Mail in articles on “the dan-gers of sneezing” and how “Rain makes you fat”.

Clutching at straws award: The Torygraph, for their article Prince William and Kate Mid-dleton ‘could announce engage-ment in June’, which began: “A blog entry by Tina Brown, the well-connected biographer of the Princess of Wales, says June 3 and 4 have been “mysteriously blocked out on the palace dia-ries” and could be a likely date for the long-awaited announce-ment of the pair’s marriage.”

Headline of the week: “‘Witch doctor’ fed blind motorcyclist LSD-laced gherkins” - The Metro.

Appealing offer of the week: The University of Bath, for this state-ment: “This week’s Complexity Seminar will be given by Dr. Clau-dia Wulff, of the Department of Mathematics at the University of Surrey, and will be entitled “Sym-pletic time-semidiscretizations of semilinear Hamiltonian PDEs”. All welcome.”

Least informative headline of the week: The Sun, for “Cheryl Scrabble Dabble”.

Pun of the week: the Mail, which ran the scoop that Paul McCartney went sailing under the headline “Scull of Kintyre”.

Runner up: the Metro, talk-ing about the new music genre ‘Donk’, which apparently “[runs] at 150bpm and feature[s] the in-cessant sound of a pipe being hit by a sledgehammer”, quoted Andy Capper as saying ‘To me the mu-sic sounds like hell, five hours of a non-stop fruit machine crossed with a nail factory’.

Quote of the week: according to Janet Street Porter, “Going online to chat is like taking crack”.

In other news

“How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?”; mut-tered the foul mouthed, gener-

ally bad-ass cop John McClane in Die Hard 2 as he yet again finds himself crawling around ventilation shafts in order to foil a terrorist plot. In this case our chain-smoking New Yorker was merely venting his anger, but this quote does ask a pertinent and deceptive question – how is it that we believe we are experiencing some-thing that we think we have experi-enced before? Why do we get déjà vu?

I’m sure a lot of you have experi-enced this phenomenon before. I know that I occasionally get flashes of déjà vu, and I’m sure you’ll agree that it is…weird. Defining déjà vu is surprisingly difficult considering it is something that a lot of us experience. It can be briefly defined as “self assurance that you have witnessed or experienced a new situation”. The “new situation” part causes some confusion – as the

meaning of “new” that offers a slight hint as to what the hell is going on.

Perhaps the best way to explain this phenomenon is with an example. You may be walking home at night, with a song from your iPod as you pass your local Chinese take away. A red Vauxhall Astra passes you and then turns into a quiet street. It’s then that you have a slightly unsettling feeling of intense familiarity; it’s almost as if you have been in this exact same situ-ation before. You then feel incredibly compelled to figure out where and when you were in this situation, but you can’t. Try as you might, you’re not able to pinpoint exactly at what point

of all the molecules in our body occur between any two situations. Perhaps the idea of entropy can help explain this phenomenon at a molecular level – the order of all the atoms in an ob-ject may never be truly the same in two situations.

Of course, we cannot perceive such exceedingly minute changes in the en-

can be likened to the Daily Mail. In or-der to cover up the lack of data, the brain will insert specific details from the current situation – leading to that familiar sense of déjà vu, where a past memory seems identical to the situa-tion you are currently in.

To make this explanation some-what less confusing, let’s relate the roles of memories in déjà vu to a toy. One day you build a simple Lego house out of multicoloured bricks, placed in a random order of colours. This house represents an intact, freshly made memory. Over time, that memory be-comes more distant, and some specific details may be lost – in the case of the Lego house, segments of the house are lost. One day you see another Lego house. It looks eerily familiar. At this point your brain will recall what is left of that initial memory. By now it has lost individual bricks, or even a chim-ney stack. However, the brain will at-tempt to recreate that past memory by simply using information on what it perceives at that present moment – es-sentially the memory will have copied segments of the current Lego house. This would be like re-building your initial house using the new house as in-spiration – copying exact segments of the house, even down to the last brick. All of a sudden you become convinced that you have seen this house before, that you have experienced this situa-tion before!

Youths are more likely to experi-ence déjà vu than their parents. A more active mind - one that can more easily recall distant memories - ap-parently makes for a more lucrative “memory regeneration machine”. Maybe this is why younger people are more interested in Lego. Now would be a good time to look at cigarette-munching John McClane and tell him “John. This shit hasn’t happened to you before. Trust me. Imagine a house made of Lego…”

Déj� vu - the decay of a Lego house memory?Edward Johnson reminds you of something you never knew about

“”Yogi Berra

It’s déjà vu all over again

“

”Steven Wright

Haven’t I seen that headline before?Daily Express Daily Mail“Diana’s Driver Was Not Drunk”

Tuesday June 19,2007

“‘No Evidence To Sug-gest [Driver] Henri Paul Was Drunk’”

Thursday October 4,2007

Driver ‘Not Drunk’ Diana Inquest Told

Wednesday December 12,2007

“Diana Driver ‘Stag-gered Like Drunk’” Thursday December 20,2007

“Diana: Police ‘Hid Drink At Death Driv-er’s Flat’”

Tuesday February 5,2008

“White bread in-creases cancer risk”

20 October 2006

“The classroom ‘can-cer risk’ of wi-fi in-ternet” 21 May 2007

“How using Face-book could raise your risk of cancer”

19th February 2009

How a romantic can-dle-lit dinner can give you cancer

21st August 2009

“Cancer danger of that night-time trip to the toilet”

12th April 2010

situation can be entirely new (such as recognising a hotel you have never seen before in a country you have nev-er been to), or new in a more precise sense (such as noticing someone you vaguely recognise walk past you in a new shirt). It is this ambiguity in the

in your history that you witnessed this precise series of events. It’s even a lit-tle frustrating. The actual truth is, you never have experienced this exact se-ries of events – but you have previously been in a situation very similar to this. I know that this isn’t the first time that a red Vauxhall Astra has passed me in the street, but there is no physical way that this exact situation at this point of time is exactly the same as a situation like it that occurred in the past. Vari-ances as noticeable as a gentle breeze, or as subtle as the precise arrangement

vironment. In fact the human brain is very easily fooled, and it often makes things up. Our vision is a classic exam-ple of our noggins playing tricks on us. The human visual field has a blind spot which can be deduced if you carry out the well known blind-spot test (look at a cross drawn on paper with a zero drawn further away; whilst simultane-ously keeping one eye closed and mov-ing the paper away from you it appears as if the zero has disappeared. Move further still and the zero re-appears, this time with a grey middle). Input is needed from both eyes to gain a com-prehensive understanding of our sur-roundings. If one eye is suddenly made redundant, the brain will attempt to ‘fill in’ the detail that has suddenly been lost. It is plausible that our brains do something similar with our memo-ries.

It may be possible that the phenom-enon of déjà vu is inextricably linked to memory. The brain may create a mem-ory, but over time specific details are lost. When an individual encounters a very similar situation, what remains of that initial memory may be recalled and compared to the current situation. The brain attempts to recall those ‘lost specifics’, but cannot (as they have been forgotten). In this sense, the brain

Runner up: The Torygraph, for “Mafia boss wins right to visit the lavatory without being filmed”.

Close third: “‘Radioactive’ paedo-phile suspect on the run after skip-ping court” – The Mail.

Jamais VuFailure to recognise a

familiar situation

Haven’t I been here before?

Science www.bathimpact.com


Electionwww.bathimpact.com


The basic, higher and top rates of tax will not rise, while public sector pay will be capped at 1% per year for the next two years. There will be a new tax band of 50p applying to earnings over £150,000 and National Insurance will rise by 1p

Everyone will be provided with broadband of at least 2 Megabits per second

1.5 million people on Incapacity Benefit will have their claims reassessed. Disabled people wishing to work will be given supported employ-ment after two years.

An Australian-style points system for immigra-tion will be introduced

ID cards to be implemented

Health spending will increase every year

Public sector pay will be frozen for a year, except for the million lowest-paid workers

Inheritance tax threshold to be raised to £1m

The claims of all incapacity benefit recipients will be reassessed

An annual cap on immigration will be set

Council tax will be frozen for two years

Constituents will be able to fire their MP

A free vote will be held in the Commons on the repeal of the Hunting Act

The first £10,000 of income will not be taxed, except for the very wealthy

Trident will not be replaced

Tuition fees will be phased out over six years

Neither ID cards nor biometric passports will be introduced

3,000 more police will be employed

Everyone over 16 will be eligible to vote

Constituents will be able to fire their MPs

Regional points-based system for immigration to be introduced

Labour Liberal DemocratConservative

The UK will leave the EU, and won’t participate in the Common Agricultural Policy

Illegal immigrants will be deported automati-cally, and there will be no legal immigration for five years

The UK’s prison capacity will be doubled

The Human Rights Act will be abolished

Minimum wage to be raised to £8.10

Trident will not be replaced

£44 billion will be spent on renewable energy sources

50% tax will apply to all income over £100,000

Bankers’ bonuses will be taxed

All buildings will be fitted with air conditioners on the outside to combat global warming

School dinners will be regularly checked for ra-dioactivity

“All asylum seekers would be allowed to stay as long as they can tell a good joke”

The Channel Tunnel will be declared a no-fly zone

UKIP Monster Raving LoonyGreen

General Election 2010Democracy’s great really, except that every now and then you will be required to actually give a toss. This often means taking a break from trying to teach a mixed salad to talk, and donating some time to the election coverage, which generally involves having to tolerate a sequence of smiling, insidious jerks all try-

ing to persuade you that under their government all houses will turn to gingerbread, and the streets will be filled with frolick-ing kittens and badgers that shit out solid gold Rolexes, while, voting for one of the other parties will lead to mass death of syphilis and nuclear war, and, even worse, Kilroy will be re-commissioned.

In real life, though, the choices are not so simple, and, unless you plan to decide how to vote by imagining which leader would last longest in a fight with a panda, you might want to know what the parties are promising to do. Here’s what they’re promising:

rag week 2010

2 7 th f e b

r u a r y - 6 th m a r c h

Bath RAG has made £20,000 so far this year. Most of this will go to RAG’s “Big Four” beneficiaries: the RUH Forever Friends Appeal, Julian House, Sue Ryder Care and Dorothy House. This will act as a mutually beneficial relationship whereby in return for our fundrais-ing, these charities can offer us support with our events, specific train-ing sessions such as press and publicity, shadowing opportunities at their events and possibly even internships along with other benefits. There are even funds left over for smaller local charities so they can still benefit from our fundraising! By getting involved with Bath RAG, not only are you helping us to fundraise and having a good time but you have the potential to get a lot in return; if you want to get involved next year, go to www.bathrag.com/ to join the interest list.

This year we have been on 14 street collections (known in RAG as ‘raids’) for a number of different charities, includ-ing Breast Cancer Campaign, Meningitis Research Foun-dation and Kidscan in cities including Bath, Bristol and London raising a total of £7162.75. Raiding is a great fun way of making new friends, seeing different cities and wearing some stylish fancy dress whilst making a fantastic contribution to charity at the same time.

Raids

Who we help

Craig Loftus

Auction of Promises

Bierkeller

Arts Show

Gunk a Sabb

Silent Disco

Chris Millard, Bierkeller Organiser: “It was an epic evening with an insane amount of beer being consumed! People attempting to balance on tables after several pitchers whilst chanting along to a band of men in tight fitting pants that cut off genitals was, I’m not going to lie, quite surreal! I had a great time and highly recommend it to freshers, hardened beer drinkers and returning Bierkeller veterans alike. It was a great start to the week! Oh, and thanks to the person that had a cheeky chunder in the corner...”

Ben Cole, VP Comms: “RAG Week this year has come on leaps and bounds! It was amazing to be in-volved in something that was not only a huge amount of fun but also raised money for charities!”

Scarlett VP W&D “I have never raised so much money and smelt so bad simultaneously. Definitely a once in a lifetime experience.”

Cedric Sureshkumar: “The Variety Show was a really good event, giving a great chance to see some of the great arts and music the students have to of-fer, whilst supporting charity. The sheer number of events was impressive, giving a chance for lots of peo-ple to get involved. It sets a really high standard for future years!”

David Whiting and Hanna Wade, RAG Week coordinators: “RAG Week was a week of fundraising events to support Rag’s general appeal. This year included the Bierkeller, a Si-lent Disco, an arts variety show and Gunk-a-Sabb amongst others! We raised over £3500, triple last year’s total, loads of societies and stu-dents got involved and it was amazing to be part of such a successful week for Bath RAG.”

Sam Durbin, Hayley Schofield and Hanna Wade (Firework Coordinators): “Bath RAG Family Fireworks went really well this year, despite all the rain! The display was fantastic and there was some great entertainment put on by different dance societies. With that and the funfair, and other RAGs from around the country helping us collect, we managed to raise nearly £5,000 for charity!”

Each year, students raise money and awareness of the plight of the homeless by staging a sleepout on Parade. This year, spirits were high, despite the cold, and participants’ innovative cardboard fortresses were most interesting. The firework display is popular among students and Bath resi-dents, and is always spectacular, justifying the large organi-sational efforts which an event of this scale demands.

Fireworks and Sleepout

The highlight of the RAG calendar every year is the spec-tacular Paris Hitch. The Paris Hitch is a sponsored charity hitchhike from university campus to the Eiffel Tower. It’s the ultimate Bath student experience, a total must-do! In 2009 the Paris Hitch raised over £14,000, and this year we will be bidding bon voyage to Bath on 23rd April for French fun and frolicks galore!

David Kennaway: “What more could you want from your university experience? Camping atmosphere, free pizza, and entertainment, all in the name of charity”

Paris Hitch

John Law, hitcher: “It was really exciting to do some-thing unique for charity and have some fun myself at the same time! Hitching for RAG was something I did in Fresh-ers year which I won’t forget!”

19Tuesday 20th April 2010bathimpact18 Tuesday 20th April 2010 bathimpact

Helena NorrgrenPublicity Officer

International www.bathimpact.com


Chair of ISA Hao Chen interviews Niraj Kumar, the 2010 Brit-ish Council International Student Award regional runner-up

Congrats Niraj on your regional runner-up award, how do you feel

now?Thank you very much. I’m de-

lighted to receive the ‘Shine! Inter-national Students Award 2010’ as the regional runner up for South West UK. At this occasion I would also like to thank my family back in India, and friends and peers at the University for their support during my study period.

Your involvement in extra-curricular activities such as community service and volun-tary work are really interest-ing, tell us about them.

I’m very passionate about the community service and social work. I strongly believe in ‘giving back to the society’ whenever I get a chance. Helping needy people and bringing smiles to their faces are very satisfactory.

I have been actively involving in a number of extra-curricular activ-ities since I joined the University in 2007. I was involved in raising funds for UK charities, and active-ly participated in voluntary work. I have also served as the ‘Publicity Officer’ of the Post Graduate As-sociation (PGA) for year 2008-09 to raise key issues and concerns of postgraduate students. Recently, I

have started a charitable organisa-tion called ‘Saumya Foundation’ to provide education to economi-cally and socially disadvantaged children in villages in India. Last year I was also selected for ‘the Bath award’ for my active involve-ment in extra-curricular activities. I wish to continue working for such causes in the future.

How would you describe your three years here as an interna-tional student?

As very fruitful and rewarding. I enjoyed living in one of the her-itage cities and studying at one of the top universities in UK. The University of Bath has a significant number of international students, so it is a nice place to interact with students from different parts of the world.

We would love to have some feedback from you on how to improve the International Student Association. Looking ahead, what would you expect

from the ISA?The ISA is doing an excellent

job in terms of representing the in-ternational students at university. As the University of Bath is truly an international university, I see a greater responsibility for the ISA to make the international students’ lives more enjoyable and relaxing. Actively engaging students from different countries and sharing their cultural experience would certainly help them to understand others’ culture and be open to that.

I am sure that your profound abroad experience will inspire lots of international students in University of Bath, what would you say to them?

Don’t be afraid to dream. Al-ways be positive and work hard to fulfill your dream. Life is full of colours, enjoy every aspect of it.

What’s your plan for after graduation?

I’m passionate about communi-ty service and social work. I would like to further develop my career in helping needy and disadvan-tageous people in undeveloped/developing countries, especially in Asian and African continents. There are millions of people out there who seek help.

Don’t be afraid to dream. Always be posi-tive and work hard to fulfill your dream.

Shine on you crazy international student

Why it pays to be a part of the International Student Association

Having lived in several dif-ferent countries whilst growing up, I have always

been an international student and therefore have an understanding of the difficulties that this can involve.

Leaving my home, Sweden, at the age of just four, I have had the op-portunity to experience a wide vari-ety of different cultures and people, moving first to Switzerland, then the USA, Thailand, and finally Germany before coming to university in Bath.

Although the experiences have been invaluable, it has not always been easy to enter into an entirely new environment and culture and take the initiative to meet new peo-ple. It was for this reason that I de-cided to apply to become Publicity Officer of the International Student

Association, as I believe it to be an important arena for the internation-al students at Bath to meet people in a similar position, as well as to find support regarding issues specific to them.

The elections for the executive positions of 2010 – 2011 are coming up; these are Chair, Events Officer, Publicity Officer, and Equality and Diversity Officer. We would like to encourage all international students not only to nominate themselves for these positions but also to vote for their new officers, as we believe it is a worthwhile organisation that aims to benefit all the international stu-dents at Bath.

Although it is a very new organi-sation at the University, having only been active for a year, it is also an important one; therefore, the sup-port of all international students is vital.

Internationalwww.bathimpact.com


During the term break, I went to London to take some dance classes as I have in

the past, but I felt something special this time because I stayed in my host brother’s home instead of a hostel. I met him through my host family dur-ing the Christmas holiday.

He is an actor in London. Once he knew that I would take dance classes in London frequently, he invited me to stay in his home instead so I could save some money. That’s why I took the offer this time.

I felt so surprised that he and his girlfriend were so nice to me. They treated me as their friend and not just a guest. I felt much warmer at their home. I tried as much as I could not to bother them. Actually, I planned to go out from morning until evening so that they wouldn’t worry about me and so that I wouldn’t bother them.

I was shocked that they gave me their spare key on days when they had to go to work early in the morn-ing. They let me wake up whenever I wanted. In case, I was too tired, I could come back earlier than them. I could not believe they trusted me that much because we just met for a few

days in the Christmas holiday....I really had a great time with them

in the evenings too. They prepared some simple suppers with me. We chatted about many things in differ-ent areas. One night, his girlfriend needed to use the kitchen to work with her colleague during dinner time. We had to wait for the late dinner after she finished her work. She apologized to me many times....Honestly, I was totally fine with that as I could watch them work and get involved their con-versation from time to time. She was just too friendly.. haha!

I really liked that they were frank with me. If they were dissatisfied with something, they would just let me know. I tried my best to cooperate. It was much better than if I would need to guess their thoughts. For example, I used to shower at night but it was noisy so she asked me if I could take showers in the morning instead.

I am not sure if it is related to Brit-ish culture, but I really appreciate the way they treated me. Chinese people pretend to be good hosts but they don’t let the guest do whatever they want. That’s where I see the differ-ence.

London Calling!Marketing student Joanna Cheng from Hong Kong blogs about living in London and the wholly positive culture shock.

France and Spain appear pretty much the same to the casual ob-server. They both drive on the

right, have better weather than us, and consider us to be uncouth, vulgar hoo-ligans. But, having spent some time liv-ing in each of these countries this year, I’ve noticed some differences between the two.

Firstly, while life in France is slightly more relaxed than England, the Span-ish have three hours in the afternoon devoted to sleeping. The ‘Siesta’ is not a myth – the nation effectively shuts down between 2pm and 5pm. This is to ensure you’re still awake at dinner time. Go to a restaurant in Spain for a 7.30 sit-down, and you will probably find it closed. The earliest time you’ll eat dinner is around 9.30, which is OK because the bars and clubs don’t shut until dawn.

On the subject of food, it will come as a surprise to no-one that the French take their food seriously. While the Spanish may love to eat, their tradi-tional dishes are simple affairs, con-sisting of meat, ham, olive oil, and tomato. Or fish. The French though, have one dish – garlic – served in seven thousand variations, not one of them simple.

My third observation is linguis-tic. In France, they speak French. In Spain, they speak Castilian (Spanish), Catalan, Galician, Basque, and many more official, recognised and unrecog-nised languages, dialects and variants. A case in point is Andalusia, where the letter ‘S’, very common in Spanish, has disappeared altogether. This makes for a confusing experience, trying to work out where in the world Ehpaña (Es-paña – Spain) might be.

Those are just three of the minor, yet significant differences between France and Spain. No country is the same as another, and you don’t have to look too hard to notice and enjoy them.

Francia y España, al modo de ver del observador casual, parecen casi iguales. Conducen a la

derecha, hace mejor tiempo en ambos países, y consideran los ingleses como incultos, vulgares y gamberros. No obstante, haber pasado unos meses en cada país, me da cuenta de unas diferencias entre los dos.

Primeramente, aunque la vida francesa sea mas relajada que en In-glaterra, los españoles dedican tres horas cada tarde para dormir. La Si-esta no es un mito – la nación esta efectivamente cerrada entre 2 y 5 por la tarde. Sin embargo, la Siesta se ase-gura que queda despierto por la cena. Si va a un restaurante para cenar a las 7.30, es muy probable que sea cer-rado. Lo mas temprano que cenarás sería alrededor de 9.30, pero no es problema – los bares y clubes quedan abiertos hasta la aurora.

Mientras que tratamos de la comi-da, creo que será una sorpresa por na-die que los franceses toman la comida en serio. Aunque los españoles le en-cantan la comida, los platos tradicion-ales son simples, con carne, jamón, aceite de oliva y tomate. O pescado. En Francia, solo existe un plato – el ajo – pero hay 7000 variantes, nin-guna que sea simple.

Mi tercera observación es lingüís-tica. En Francia, se habla Francés. En España, se habla Castellano, Catalán, Gallego, Vasco, y varios otras lenguas, dialectos y variantes oficiales, reconocidas y no-recono-cidas. Por ejemplo, hay Andalucía, donde la letra ‘S’, muy común en Castellano, ha desaparecido total-mente. Se produce una experiencia confusa cuando intenta de entender donde demonios está ‘Ehpaña’ (Es-paña).

Solo son tres entre la multitud de diferencias menores sino sig-nificantes entre Francia y España. Ninguno país esta el mismo como un otro, y no se debe examinar muy fuerte para buscar y disfrutarlos.

La France et l’Espagne, pour l’observateur casuel, sont vrai-ment similaires. Chacun con-

duit a la droite, il fait meilleurs temps dans les deux, et ils considèrent que les Anglais soient des vandales grossiers et vulgaires. Mais, ayant passé du temps en chaque pays cet année, je me suis rendu compte des différences entre les deux.

Premièrement, pendant que la vie français soit plus détendue que laquelle en Angleterre, les espagnoles ont 3 heures chaque après-midi réservés pour dormir La ‘Siesta’ n’est pas un mythe – le pays est effectivement fer-mé entre 2h et 5h après-midi Mais cela s’assure qu’on soit lucide pour diner. Si on va a un restaurant en Espagne pour manger a 7h30, c’est vraiment possible qu’il soit fermé. Le plus tôt qu’on man-gera c’est environs 21h30, mais ce n’est pas un problème, parce que les bars et clubs restent ouverts jusqu’à l’aube.

Au sujet de la cuisine, personne sera étonné que les français prend la cuisine sérieusement Bien que les espagnoles aiment manger, les plats traditionnelle sont simples, consistant de viande, jambon, huile d’olive et tomate. Ou poisson. Cependant, la cuisine français consiste d’un seul plat – l’ail – préparé en 7000 variétés différentes, aucun simple.

Ma troisième observation est lin-guistique. En France, on parle Français En Espagne, on parle Castillan, Cata-lan, Galicien, Basque, et plusieurs langues, dialectes et variétés régionales officielles, reconnus et non-reconnus. Par exemple, il y a Andalousie, ou le lettre ‘S’ – très commun en Espag-nol – est presque totalement disparu. Cela cause un expérience déroutante, quand on essaye de comprendre où di-able se trouve ‘Ehpaña’ (Espagne).

Donc, celles sont trois entre mil-liers des grands différences entre la France et l’Espagne. Aucun pays est pareil qu’un autre, et on ne doit cher-cher forcement pour les trouver et ap-précier.

France and Spain: Worlds apart

Francia y España: En dos mundos difer-entes

La France et l’Espagne: dans des mondes différentes

LOST

IN TRANSLATION

Placement student Jamie Batabyal flaunts his language skills and tells us in three differ-ent languages just how different France and Spain are.

Entertainmentswww.bathimpact.com


As in… doing good. bathimpact favourite Li’l Wayne has been keep-ing himself busy in prison. Reports suggest that he’s got himself a job (presumably in between recording the 1000 mixtapes he’s going to release next year if he has some spare time) helping monitor other prisoners who have exhibited suicidal behaviour. Given Wayne’s legendary self-assur-edness, we’re sure he’s doing just bril-liantly. Atta boy.

Our Ents Editor practically explod-ed when he heard this latest piece of news: nu-pysch supergroup Rangda have announced a series of dates for a UK tour this May, including a date at Bristol’s The Croft on the 28th. As if having Ben Chasny (Comets on Fire, Six Organs of Admittance), Sir Ri-chard Bishop (Sun City Girls) and Chris Corsano (Bjork, Vibracathe-

The Good

& The UglyThe Bad It’s with sadness that we report

that punk icon and Sex Pistols Man-ager Malcolm McLaren succumbed to cancer aged 64. The self proclaimed ‘svengali’ played an instrumental role in launching punk in the UK through his work with the Pistols and others, and continued to be active up until his death, even co-producing award-winning documentary Fast Food Nation.

Unfortunately, the doom and gloom doesn’t end there. bathimpact is also sad to report that jazz percus-sionist Steve Reid passed away last

week. Whilst the legendary drummer was perhaps most familiar to bathim-pact readers as a collaborator with Ki-eran Hebden (aka Four Tet), his impressive recording history includes Miles Davis, Ornette Coleman, Fela Kuti, James Brown and Sun Ra. Which is testament to his talent and his diversity. Rest in peace Steve.

Soul singer Erykah Badu has found herself charged with disorderly conduct following the filming of her

New lows for Marky Ramone. The former Ramones drummer has never seemed particularly bothered about his legacy, but he’s now decided to trample all over it by marketing his own brand of pasta sauce. Words can’t really do the promotional video justice, so head over to tinyurl. com/ramonepasta to watch it and weep a little bit.

(It appears to have been filmed in his local MFI).

It’s not often you sit in the cinema and witness the audience shout at the screen in disgust or approval,

neither do people frequently stand up and clap as the final credits roll. And yet at 10.30am on a sunny March morning I sat through Capitalism: A Love Story and witnessed exactly this. Sure, due to the time of day the average age of the audience was prob-ably seventy, but I couldn’t help but be moved by the spontaneous reactions of the cinema goers, and feel that this is what cinema and film-making is about.

For the first time I actually saw Michael Moore as a hero. A pretty strong statement, and fairly gushing, but I hadn’t previously felt like his about his other films. He’d always an-noyed me with his ridiculous cap, bad dress sense, and annoying habit for gimmicks such as cold-calling compa-ny executives and feigning shock and hurt when they hung up on him. But in this film he comes across as a man

who is trying to get a grip on what has happened to the American economy, and shedding light on underhand (and frankly disgusting) dealings that have led to the misery and poverty of millions of Americans. If cinema can investigate crimes, expose corruption and demand answers, then cinema is reaching its full potential in terms of its powers of persuasion.

What’s also so refreshing to see is that he doesn’t resort to simple doom and gloom statements about the dreadful situation of the American economy. He actually goes out and finds alternatives to prove that there is hope, and that there are people who are willing to work hard to maintain justice in the workplace. His use of intertwining individual stories within

dral Orchestra, Thurston Moore and many others) sharing a stage wasn’t enough, they’ve added a Japanese cult pysch act of myriad releases, Acid Mothers Temple, to the bill. He re-alises that he’s probably one of three people at Bath excited by this. Sod off.

‘Party Hard’, has revealed the lyrics to a song which saw him served with a re-straining order by the girl he wrote it for. Written aged 17, the song includes the lyrics “Harm - That’s What You’re In For, If You Don’t Open Your Door”. Aww, young love. Hear it here tiny-url. com/andrewwklove

If we’d known about this earlier you might have had a review of it, but we’re still enthralled to make the frankly ridiculous announcement that Fatboy Slim and former Talk-ing Heads frontman David Byrne have collaborated to make a concept album based around the life of Im-elda Marcos, the famously corrupt wife of Filipino President Marcos. Entitled ‘Here Lies Love’, and featur-ing a wealth of vocal talent includ-ing Florence Welch, it apparently makes no mention of the 3,000 pairs of shoes found when mobs ransacked the Presidential Mansion in 1986. We need a lie down.

being ‘shot’, naked, in the same place that John F Kennedy was killed. Po-lice had appealed for witnesses to in order to charge her following publica-tion of the video, and subsequently stamped a $500 fine on her. The vid-eo remains available on her website: www. erykahbadu. com

latest video for new single ‘Window Seat’ off her rather incredible album-of-the-year-worthy longplayer The New Amerykah Pt II: Return of the Ankh. The video, which was filmed ‘guerilla style’ in one long take, in-volved the hip-hop icon walking through Dallas, removing items of clothing as she went ending with her,

Film: Capitalism: A Love StoryDirector: Michael MooreStarring: Michael Moore

For the first time Michael Moore feels like a hero: his

ridiculous cap and dress sense are irritating no more

Mo’ money, mo’ problemsJen Wallace finds little romance in the story of man’s love affair with greed, as told by Michael Moore

the narrative provide a juxtaposition to his exposure of top level corrup-tion; at the same time as he’s pointing

the finger at certain individuals, he is also offering positive alternatives that have had great results. He wants change, but he’s not just pontificating about it, he’s looking for practical so-lutions to welcome it into America.

I’m not an economics student, I don’t read the Financial Times, and I knew there’d been a mortgage crisis in America, but I didn’t bother to try and understand the finer details. Moore knows this, and he knows most cin-ema-goers are in a similar situation, so he sets it out plainly and logically

for everyone to understand. He real-ises ones of the reasons people have gotten away with exploitation for so long is because they assume the aver-age person can’t fight what they don’t comprehend, so he’s offering people the power of knowledge.

The film does ruthlessly tug at the emotional heartstrings (once you’ve watched it you won’t be able to get the term dead peasants out your head, and you’ll never want to get on a plane again), and it is blatant audience ma-nipulation, but when the message is

so important and so pertinent, it’s justified manipulation. If one young final year student goes to see it, and decides that they won’t go and ap-ply for a graduate job at Goldman Sachs after witnessing the atrocities that they committed, then Moore has done exactly what he set out to do. And I won’t be handing in my CV to any major banking organisation this summer, that’s for sure.

Capitalism: A Love Story is out now.

ERyKAH BADu: No such thing as a bad hair day

Party starter and avant-garde mu-sician Andrew WK, most famous for writing trash metal party anthem

ANDREW WK: Binge eating his way out of love

If capitalism really is a love story, then this must be the short bondage interlude.

Entertainments www.bathimpact.com


Success can do funny things to a band. Look no further than Hot Chip for an exam-

ple of this: following the dement-edly simple white-boy Casio funk of ‘Over and Over’, five geeks from Putney suddenly found themselves catapulted to levels of indie star-dom they’d merely dreamed of on first longplayer, Coming On Strong (sample lyric: Driving in my Peu-geot, 20 inch rims with the chrome now hey-ay, yay-ay Blazin’ out Yo La Tengo).

And what still strikes me, even as I watch the fivepiece thump through the aforementioned track with glorious abandon at the O2 Academy, is that they’ve never really come to terms with their success. Except for keyboardist Al Doyle; who looks like he’s fallen

straight off the set of ‘Mad Men’ tonight as he swaggers and sways in his fitted suit, the band still re-sembles the bunch of misfits who wrote about cruising to Yo La Ten-go. They’re a pop band in the pur-est sense of the word, but where pop is now more about image than

Joe and co. have been listening to Curtis Mayfield or This Heat, as long as the dancefloor is suitably flattened with electro-crossover hits. And maybe that’s why it’s a slow start: the classy motown groove of ‘Hand Me Down Your Love’ and the wobbling space-funk of ‘Thieves In The Night’ are metic-ulously reproduced, but they don’t have the crushing impact of the blockbeats that dominated tracks like ‘Shake A Fist’. In fact, there’s little in the way of giant hooks to

be found. Even on new single ‘One Night Stand’ which struts and slinks most admirably live, there’s a noticeable shift towards a softer sound, more reminiscent of the first album (from which we don’t receive a single track tonight, bizarrely). Joe Goddard’s plain-tive and distant baritone adding a touch of melancholy to Alexis Taylor’s breathy falsetto (“Tell me do you stand by your man”) that’s

Artist: Hot Chip, CasiokidsVenue: O2 Academy, BristolDate: 23rd February

Geeks in the night

After the first couple tracks of Go, its obvious that this is not going to be a Sigur

Ros-style album under their lead singer’s moniker. On an indefinite hiatus whilst the other members are on paternal duties, Jónsi has had time to explore different musi-cal paths, first with his minimalist/ambient record with Alex Som-ers, Riceboy Sleeps, and now with his first solo album, Go.

Distinctly playful, gone are the brooding crescendos and ethereal restraint trademarked by Sigur Ros, in their stead is a more urgent tem-po, relying on Jónsi’s biggest asset, his voice. Although Jónsi’s singing has always been inextricably tied to Sigur Ros and to their success, on Go Jónsi feels a lot freer, switching easily between English and Icelan-dic, with the odd bird tweets added

hearing on this album, but its quali-ties go much deeper than that. Sin-gle “Go Do” and again on “Animal Arithmetic” and “Boy lilikoi”, Jón-si’s urgent falsetto, sung in broken English, creates the backbone of the album, but with more subdued songs such as “Tornado” and “Kol-niður” the beautifully constructed piano and string arrangements, present in the background of each song, really come through.

Go should not be seen as a flir-tation with a new musical genre by Jónsi, more an expansion on his in-dividual aspirations for an album. A lot freer to play around with new ideas and being accountable only to himself, Go finds success where many solo projects have failed, keeping elements of the old whilst expanding with the new.

Keyboardist Al Doyle looks like he’s fallen off

the set of ‘Mad Men’

Hot Chip might not be as ready for the floor as they once were, but the new material from these pop-savvy alley-cats is definitely coming on strong, writes Philip Bloomfield

rock and roll ever was, they remain defiantly uninterested in anything but the music. And as Sean Light-bown most ably illustrated during his review of latest LP One Life Stand, Hot Chip’s music of recent has shown itself to be increasingly subtle, clever and all the more en-joyable.

Try telling that to tonight’s crowd, however. It’s a young mob, and they don’t care whether Alexis,

Melancholy doesn’t sell out academies, and Hot Chip still know their way

around a pop song

Hand Me Down Your Clothes: We like AlexiS TAYlOR’s voice, but we’re not sure about his dress sense

All By HimselfArtist: JonsiAlbum: Go

Go is out now on Parlophone

Alec McLaurin gives the Sigur Ros man Jonsi’s solo project the green light

What’s the best way to fol-low up one of the most ac-claimed and loved albums

of 2008? Well, if you are Brooklyn psych-rockers MGMT, the natural move would be to release a left-field, uncommercial and outright weird record. And that’s exactly what Ben Goldwasser and Andrew VanWyngar-den of MGMT have done with Con-gratulations.

The truth is that it’s anything but easy to reproduce the formula of a successful debut album and instead of trying and failing, the band have dropped the hippy-go-lucky persona and take us on a deep and dazed voyage into 1960s psyche-rock. In contrast to the first album, Oracular Spectacular, which was full of effort-lessly catchy tunes that had you hum-ming for days on end, they haven’t tried to write any radio hits this time

debut, only to have their songs ex-plode and unintentionally turn them into pop icons.

Prior to release, they controver-sially stated that they didn’t want to release any “singles” from the album. The reasoning behind this was so lis-teners could consume the album as a whole but many skeptics claimed it merely reflected their lack of ambition. After having listened to the record, I must admit that it’s a combination of factors and even though the album is a tad disappointing it’s not all bad.

anti-‘Kids’! The highlight on the al-bum, though, is actually the closing number, ‘Congratulations’, which is a smooth and charming ballad reminis-cent of The Kinks’ ‘Waterloo Sunset’.

I came away with the impression that MGMT have tried to make a statement album to distance them-selves from their fame and main-stream image. This certainly isn’t what their fans wanted to hear and it’s clear that they’re not aiming to enter-tain anyone but themselves. They took a step into the unknown and, whilst it’s not a complete failure, they cer-tainly slipped up. So if you’re feeling brave, you might find the journey in-teresting, but just don’t get lost along the way.

work provided by the band. And as the mumbling electronica of ‘Alley Cats’ strays close to classic R’n’b territory, it’s clear that this a band who’ve rediscovered the melan-choly that dominated their earlier material.

And as much as it’s delightful to hear a band so au fait with music broadly removed from the popular spectrum, melancholy doesn’t sell out Academy sized venues. It’s no surprise, therefore, that the biggest cheer of the night is reserved for set closer ‘Ready for the Floor’, which is clearly what the crowd have been baying for. Whether or not it’s bet-ter than a supremely funky run

almost out of sync with the live steel drums and throbbing synth

through of ‘Hold On’ that precedes the encore is a matter for individu-al opinion, but one thing is certain: Hot Chip know their way around a pop song like few others. We can only hope that next time round, there’ll be as many cheers for ‘Alley Cats’ as ‘Over and Over’.

in for colour. Finally hearing his lyrics in English (Bar one track, Sigur Ros only sang in Icelandic or in their own made-up language) is probably not what Icelandic Sigur Ros fans were looking forward to

This is a distinctly more playful record than any-

thing released by Sigur Ros

Under New ManagementAlex Drake isn’t exactly sure whether or not to Congratulate a certain Brook-lyn duo for their undoubtedly difficult second album

Artist: MGMTAlbum: Congratulations

Congratulations is out now on Columbia Records

round. Instead they have taken ref-uge in trippy song writing inspired by their disillusioning celebrity stopover. This is all very ironic considering they lamented how they were “fated to pre-tend” to be famous rock stars on their

A deep and dazed voy-age into pyschedelia

and the 80s underground

According to the band, most inspi-ration came from 1960s psychedelia and 1980s underground rock, which has led to a more unpredictable and frenetic sound. All becomes appar-ent on Congratulations’ opening song, ‘It’s Working’, where the slowly building psych-pop dominates a track about ecstasy overdose. The album’s epic centerpiece is a twelve minute monster of a track called ‘Siberian Breaks’ that constantly changes shape without warning. It’s eight different songs strung together to form a mix of shimmering synths, neon electronica and ambient pop. If anything, it’s the

12 minute tracks and songs about ecstacy

means this one might not appeal to the ‘Kids’

MGMT: Not averse to a little horseplay

Entertainmentswww.bathimpact.com


Can you believe the cheek of it!? ‘Tik Tok’ star Ke$ha has, this week, attacked pop princess

Britney Spears for not singing live in concerts, claiming she treats her fans, “ like they are stupid.”

Whilst some of you may be gob smacked at how Ke$ha, another ir-ritating celeb who brushes her teeth with Jack Daniels and has the annoy-ing urge to mi$$pell words, can pos-sibly insult pop royalty, she does make an interesting point - just how genuine is live music?

In bathimpact’s last edition, my fel-low contributor Laura Craine argued that live concerts, “reflect the passion an artist tries to instil in an audience”. This may be true when U2 perform live on the rooftop of the BBC’s Broadcast-ing House, but what about watching Britney at last year’s MTV awards, drawing ridicule by dressing as a strip-per and failing to even lip-sync her not-such-a-big-hit single ‘Gimme More’? Surely the only emotions that would stir are pain and embarrassment (un-less you were Justin Timberlake

sitting in the audience, in which case it would just procure an innate smug-ness).

However it’s not just Britney that mimes songs on tour. Recent offenders include Take That, Ashlee Simp-son and even Madonna, who man-aged to incur the wrath of Elton John when he publicly announced, “Anyone who lip-syncs on stage, when you pay £75 to see them, should be shot”.

So when you are next watching a concert or listening to a music artist

emos wearing Killers t-shirts, Croc shoes and black guy-liner who just won’t stop the continued rock n’ roll head banging? The fun of not washing for 3 days so that when you return to civilisation you smell like rancid meat crossed with Pot Noodle?

Yet others can lie in their beds, relax in their armchairs or sit in their nicely heated cars, turn on the radio and listen to a perfectly edited, perfectly refined and perfectly recorded track without the sweat of 50,000 concert-goers dripping down their backs.

David James responds to Laura Craine’s article from our last issue. ‘Live’ music has sold out to the lipsyncers, the ticket sellers and the 40 year old emos, he argues.

Oops! Britney’s done it again: She’s killed live music

Spot the difference: KE$hA and a 40 yEAr oLd EMo.

“

”Elton John

Anyone who lip-syncs on stage, when you pay £75 to see them, should be shot.

live on stage, ask yourself, ‘is what I’m actually hearing, live?’

Moreover, why pay an extortion-ate amount of money to attend a live concert when the recorded radio ver-sion is available free online? Whilst people may argue that music festivals like Glastonbury and reading are once in a lifetime opportunities and are fully worth the £185 price tag, I would ask, what are you actually buying? The chance to film Jay-Z on your mobile phone from about ninety kilometres away so that you can post it on You Tube? The opportunity to watch tepid indie bands with drunken 40-year old

Gig Listings

Laura Marling @ Col-ston Hall, BristolFuck Buttons @ Trinity Centre, BristolNerina Pallot@ Kome-dia, Bath

Rufus Wainwright @ Colston Hall, BristolMark Lanegan @ Academy 2, BristolThe Strange Boys @ The Louisiana, Bristol

The Whale Watching Tour @ Arnolfini, Bristol

Efterklang @ Metropo-lis, BristolShy Child @ Thekla, Bristol

Lostprophets @ 02 AcademyHypnotic Brass En-semble & The Souljazz Orchestra @ Thekla, Bristol

Hudson Mohawke @ Thekla, BristolChew Lips @ The Cooler, BristolAlphabeat @ Fleece, Bristol

Groove Armada @ Moles

LCD Soundsystem @O2 Academy Bristol

The Bronx, Mariachi El Bronx @ Thekla, Bristol

Surfer Blood @ Thekla, Bristol

Biffy Clyro @ Colston Hall, BristolBest Coast@ LouisianaEverything Everything, Darwin Deez & Hurts @ Thekla, Bristol

CocoRosie @ Trinity Centre, Bristol

Mr Hudson @ Anson Rooms, Bristol

65daysofstatic @ Trinity Centre, BristolFoals @ Ansom Rooms, Bristol

La Roux & I Blame Coco @ 02 Academy, BristolFutureheads @ Thekla, Bristol

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Philip Bloomfield and Alec McLaurin are fed up of paying £180 to sit in a muddy field surrounded by the cast of Lord of the Flies, and paying £5 for flat beer and what might have once been a burger. So here are six of their recommendations that will stretch your enjoyment rather than your budget

Festival Guide Part 1: Festivals on a shoestring

dot to dot: Friday 29th - 30th May, Various Venues in Bristol, £30

Awkwardly placed on the Friday before the last week of exams, this event may be undoable for some of you. However if you finish exams by then, what better way to celebrate? It features more than 40 acts in various venues across Bristol, which (prob-ably) will allow you to end the night in your own bed! Bands playing: Mystery Jets, Field Music, Zane Lowe, Ellie Goulding, Liars and many more. AL

2000 Trees: 16th+17th July, near Cheltenham, £50

Started three years ago as an alter-native to the spiralling ticket prices of mainstream festivals, 2000 Trees has gone from strength to strength. Year after year putting together strong line-ups for the true music lover, this intimate festival sees Metronomy, 65daysofstatic, Bombay Bicycle Club, Twin Atlantic and Frank Turner grace its stages. AL

Field day: 31st July, Victoria Park, £33

Not really a festival as such, but the lineup this year is so damn special that this all-dayer in London’s Vic-toria Park merits at least a mention. Previous issues over volume have dogged the site in central London, but Mogwai’s thunderous headlin-ing set last year suggests these have been resolved. The impressive indie, electronic and experimental roster includes: Phoenix, Caribou, hud-son Mohawke, Atlas Sound, Sil-ver Apples, dam-Funk, No Age, Pantha du Prince, Flower-Cor-sano duo and many more. PB Supersonic: 22nd – 24th octo-

ber, Various Venues, Birming-ham, £75

Noise lovers, rejoice. The lovely ladies of Capsule return to organise yet another bloodthirsty weekender smack in the middle of Birming-ham. Only one band has been an-nounced thus far: mighty noise-rockers Swans, who will play their first British show since they disbanded in 1997. Alongside the brutal soul-baring of Michael Gira & co., expect a series of all things loud, heavy, experimental, avant-garde and generally absent from the regular festival circuit. Previous lineups featured loud luminaries including Battles, Goblin and Har-vey Milk. PB

Keep your eyes peeled for our next issue, when our expert team

at bathimpact will be bringing you the very best in big festivals, from Oya in Norway, through to

Latitude in the UK

TrUCK: 23rd-25th July, ox-fordshire, £80

Not a festival about trucks, named Truck for the trailer that used to be its main stage, Truck festival has devel-oped a strong reputation for putting on bands that are just on the point of stardom. Last year I saw The XX, Wild Beasts and Two Door Cinema Cub all play to small crowds. This, added to an awesome atmosphere with local ales and food, makes it an event not to miss. Danish rockers Mew have been announced as Saturday headlin-ers, plus Future of the Left, Los Campesinos, Stornoway and Es-ben and the Witch. AL

Ok so… there are just SEVEN (yes that’s right se-ve-n) weeks to go until all those

exams are out of the way and we have the Summer Ball and then all that summer fun in the sun to look forward to. For me it is the final slog to freedom and I can’t wait to be free of exams and reports and all that. Alas, we still have loads of ex-citing events before then; the ICIA Arts and Media Awards occurred last night, then the Arts Extrava-ganza Friday 30th April 12 noon – 9 pm by the lake! Then in that final week of lectures we have BUSMS presenting ENCORE (Monday 3rd May), as well as the Activi-ties Awards (Thursday 6th May)!

The Arts Extravaganza is a free and informal series of perform-ances mixed in with some light music and good banter. This year SCA (Student Community Action) will be selling cake and raising money for their trip to Romania to help in some of the orphanages out there this summer. BUFS (Bath University Film Society) have a special movie treat in store for us in the evening (starting at around 6pm)…all will be revealed closer to the time. URB will be taking a trip back through the arts events of this past year and providing the com-peres for the afternoon. Perform-ances so far include BUSMS with previews of the hits from ENCORE, Bodysoc, Breakdancers and Grav-ity Vomit! There will also be a BBQ and lots of sun (well..hopefully). 6

WS is our “Wet Weather Alterna-tive” so make sure you come along and join in the fun, bring your own rug and all your friends.

Tickets for the Activities Awards will be on sale soon….so make sure you grab yours before they all sell out. This is a very prestigious an-nual event that takes place in the Bath Pump Rooms. There are three “Arts Awards” up for grabs; Best Arts Society, Best Event/Per-formance and Most Outstanding Contribution to the Arts, so come along and find out which societies will be this year’s winners.

Bodysoc had several very suc-cessful “Nights at the Movies” this last week, with four performances Thursday 15th – Saturday 17th April with great audiences and fab-ulous audio visual effects courtesy of Freddy and Ian from Backstage!

Best of luck with the revision (or the attempted revision); see you at the Extravaganza if not before.

Ann x

Ann’s ColumnArts www.bathimpact.com


After five months of rehears-ing, with multiple 12 hour ses-sions, and many a sleepless

night spent with the entire sound-track playing on loop in everyone’s mind, BUSMS performed ‘Footloose’ to sell-out audiences between 17th and 20th March. Featuring many well-known songs such as Holding Out for a Hero and Let’s Hear it for the Boy, as well as the title track, the show was a huge success.

I’m Matt, a first year Computer Science student, and the only society I came to university with the inten-tion of joining was the Bath Universi-ty Student Musicals Society, BUSMS! Shortly after I arrived and after the completion of various workshops, the auditions for Footloose were held. As soon as the cast list was released, the rehearsals began. The professional-ism and talent that lay within the society was evident. From the princi-pals to the chorus, everyone worked hard to produce a high quality show and we became like a close family.

I played the part of Lyle, who made up half of the show’s comedy duo with Travis, played by Harry Graham. I was also Cowboy Billy Bob, a bar singer. Both of these parts were incredibly enjoyable to play and ensured I was always busy, with seven costume changes throughout the show and the need to take part in almost every chorus number. I found this a new experience because

my previous theatrical roles have required me to wear one or two cos-tumes, not seven, including a cowboy outfit, army uniform and tux!

The show ended with a bang! Af-ter four nights of energy, enthusiasm and lots of dancing, we all gathered in the Arts Barn to celebrate an in-

reographer Chloe Guariglia who all worked tirelessly to produce the fan-tastic performances. I mustn’t forget to mention the huge amount of help we received from Backstage Techni-cal Services, who built the set, or-ganised the sound effects and micro-phones and controlled the lighting on the show nights.

And so, as one show ends anoth-er must begin. For one night only, BUSMS presents Encore, a cabaret-type show consisting of 23 songs from as many musicals ranging from High School Musical to Cabaret, The Lion King to Dreamgirls, School of Rock to Glee! This show is rehearsed under the watchful eyes of six di-rectors, each taking control of four songs, with four musical directors taking care of the music. It’s sure to be a spectacular show and we will all be working hard to make sure that it is one to remember! We hope to see you all there on May Day bank holi-day, Monday 3rd May at 7.30pm in the Arts Lecture Theatre. Tickets are on sale at the ICIA; £7 tickets, £5 for students and concessions.

See you there!

My time with BUSMSMatthew Mellor enlightens us

A couple of months ago Ann approached me and sug-gested I write a piece on

“choreography”. She said she didn’t understand how the hell it was done. So to put Ann’s bemused mind at peace as well as all you little curious dance aficionados, I have come up with a bunch of things to consider next time you want to create your own routine.

choreograph because, unless you are an elephant, you are likely to forget one or two tiny details. Sorting out the different counts of eight in the song and listening out for the hidden beats should really help set the tem-po and get started with some steps.

The hardest part of choreograph-ing is getting the inspiration to come up with some great steps. A very ef-fective and old school trick is to use the lyrics as your inspiration. I mean if even JLS can pull it off (cf “Beat again” music video) it’s got to be good! But my favourite technique is the one I learnt for the Jonathan Lunn dance show. Get a text, could be anything from your local pub’s menu to a little bit of Shakespeare, and use the words and punctuation to choreograph your piece. Why not make it even wackier and pretend, when you are coming up with the “moves”, to be a butterfly, a surgeon or whatever tickles your fancy? This

Choreography 101Ana Rosemin gives a crash course

Everyone worked hard to produce a high

quality show and we became like a close

family.

credible musical extravaganza! A dose of Domino’s Pizza and some celebratory drinks later we gave some well earned gifts to some well deserving people, namely our musi-cal director ‘Mr Tom Lees’, assistant director/part time choreographer Adam McDonnell and director/cho-

way you’ll move away from the “pas de bourrée” and make your dance really unique.

Although personally I feel that, whatever you do, if you manage to tell a story in your routine, you’ve nailed it.

And if you want to see some great choreographing, don’t miss the Bod-ysoc dance show “A Night at the Movies” from Thursday to Saturday this week in the ALT.

If you manage to tell a story in your routine,

you’ve nailed it.

First of all you’ve got to pick a song, the more you like the mu-sic the more it will inspire you, but avoid picking your favourite tune as you will probably end up hating it once the dance is finished. Make sure you write down everything you Leonard Cohen: awesome mu-

sic, but not easy to dance to

Mediawww.bathimpact.com


BLURB

FEATURED SHOW OF THE WEEKYou, Me & A Little Bit Of Symphony With Cedric and LauraSundays 18:00-19:00 Join Cedric and Laura every Sun-day evening for a classical journey from country to country and eve-rything from Mozart to Beethoven!We play most classical requests, but can’t promise to play anything by Wagner in its entirety, because I’ll be leaving in the summer.

SINGLE OF THE FORTNIGHTMarina and the Diamonds – I Am Not A RobotReleased – 26th AprilMarina and the Diamonds fol-low up their immensely success-ful ‘Hollywood’ with this lovely, summery track ‘I Am Not A Ro-bot’. This could fast become a summer revision anthem. Picture yourself with a jug of Pimms in one hand, a door-stop of a text-book in the other, down by the lake, listening to this vocally flaw-less and chilled track. Lovely!

WHAT’S HOT ON URB:

The chart is URB’s chance to play all those tracks that have been a favourite for our presenters and listeners in the past week. It is compiled using the amount of airplay and number of votes via the Soundtrack selector. This does not stop there; our chart then gets sent on so that a national student radio chart can be compiled, allowing the music industry to see what we’re playing.

THE CHARTS

CTV ZapThe Arts and Media awards on Mon-day 19th April was the most recent event for which we provided our services. Alongside a live projection of events, we also created a short film showing the highlights of the year for all three media societies. At the time of writing, we don’t yet know the results, but we all have our fingers crossed for recognition of the work we have done this year.

Over Easter, we put together highlights from this year’s excel-lent RAG Week. There was so much good stuff that we had to split it into two videos! Make sure you check it out to see highlights from Bierkel-ler, Mega Quiz, Speed Dating, Silent Disco, Arts Variety Show, and Gunk-a-Sabb. We also have the full version of the Sabbs’ take on ‘The Evolution of Dance’.

With several projects waiting to be edited, we are as busy as ever, with many more events coming up over the next few weeks. We also hope to be able to unveil a short sitcom series, currently being edited, and a particularly odd idea is currently being discussed (though being kept under wraps for now!) Tune in to our YouTube channel (http://www.youtube.com/su9ctv) over the next couple of weeks to find out more!

Arts & Media awards

1 Ellie GouldingStarry Eyed2 Mumford and SonsThe Cave3 Vampire WeekendGiving Up The Gun4 Daisy Dares You feat. Chip-

munkNumber One Enemy5 The FutureheadsHeartbeat Song6 Dizzee and FlorenceDirtee Love7 Florence and the MachineYou Got The Love8 RihannaRudeboy9 Chiddy BangOpposite of Adults10 3OH!3Starstrukk

11 Biffy ClyroManhy Of Horror12 GorrilazStylo13 Owl CityFireflies14 ExampleWon’t Go Quietly15 Lady GagaTelephone16 Temper TrapSweet Disposition17 DelphicHalcyon18 Ke$haBlah Blah Blah19 Owl CityHello Seattle20 Arctic MonkeysMy Propeller

Media AGMOn Thursday 22nd April, 13:15, in 2E3.1., the Media group will be hav-ing its Annual General Meeting. During this, we will discuss general media stuff, and the results of the Media groups’ elections will be an-nounced, and by-elections will be held for unfilled positions. These include:

URB: Chief Engineer, Head of Online, Head of Advertising and Marketing

CTV: Secretary, Sports Officer, Societies Officer, Head of Advertis-ing and Marketing, Head of Online

BathImpact Committee: Secretary, Chief Sub-Editor, IT Of-ficer

BathImpact Editorial: News Editor, Science Editor, Sports Editor

Those intending to run should attend the meeting, or email a manifesto to [email protected] by Wednesday 21st April 5pm.

Media officer Cedric Sureshku-mar said “This is your opportunity to raise any questions you have

about the way media operates, and any thoughts and ideas you may have to help media develop into the next academic year.”

The AGM will be followed by a cross-media social, with the theme as yet undecided.

Media boss Ced Sureshkumar invites you to the Media AGM, where we will finally reveal the truth about Shergar.

Entertainments www.bathimpact.com


It’s always interesting to see one of the less frequently performed plays of a playwright whose 21st

Century reputation is based on a small number of works which seem to have stood the test of time. Have the others fallen out of favour for good reason, or are they lost gems deserving a wider audience?

BUST chose to revive ‘You Never Can Tell’, a play which explores co-incidence through the story of the Clandon family. Mrs Clandon - a ‘thoroughly modern’ mother - has returned to England after some years in Madeira with her three children, who find the conventions of life in an English seaside resort strange. A chance encounter with a dentist - and you can tell the age of this play by the dentist’s being impoverished! - leads to uncomfortable lunch when it be-comes clear that the dentist’s land-lord is also the father of the family. By a further twist of fate the son of the hotel’s waitress is the very lawyer

brought in to resolve the resulting family disputes!

This is Shaw at his lightest, touch-ing on a range of serious issues from feminism to the role of the Church, but not taking the issues seriously. We laugh at what Shaw has to say but perhaps more at the preposterous fabrication of the plot.

BUST made the most of the hu-mour with a well-paced and lively production. The intimate setting brought audience and actors into close proximity and worked well for the opening scene in the dentist’s

surgery. Suzanne Ipe and Putu Agus Khorisanfono were glori-ously non-identical twins, their an-tics and joie-de-vivre lit up the play at their every entrance and one read-ily believed that Dolly would indeed invite her dentist to lunch!

Staging a luncheon party for seven

is a big ask for any director but Ka-tie Colthurst was equal to the task. Despite a considerable amount of ‘business’ the words were never lost and what could have been a very stat-ic scene kept our attention. Eleni Angeloussi as Bess, the waitress, maintained a wry but respectful atti-tude to the shenanigans over lunch as Tara Marth, a sweetly confused Glo-ria, fell under the spell of Laurence Whitaker’s Valentine - adept at ex-tracting the humour from his role but also revealing himself to be the joke.

Gloria’s bewildered response to encountering both her father and a possible lover was beautifully played out as she challenged her mother’s ‘modern attitudes.’ Sarah Aston as Mrs Clandon had perhaps the hard-est task as Shaw has not fully imbued her role with the depth it initially

A Comedy of Errors

Ohmygod, like this was so to-tally not what I was expecting.

Having seen (and loved) the film, I was dubious as to what extent the stage would be able to jus-tify the pink, girly, sparkly, American-accented, (did I mention pink?) fluff that is the film. I was also a little con-cerned for my dad, who, sat between his three daughters and wife was not looking most enthusiastic at the pros-pect of the next 2 or so hours of girly drivel.

But oh how wrong we could be. Elle Woods is my idol. And not just

because she seduced Warner and Em-mett, and has her Chihuahua, Bruiser, trained to jump into her handbag, but because she is so unashamedly girly that she can win lawsuits through her understanding of perm technol-ogy and her trusty gaydar. Now that’s something to be proud of.

For those of you not quite in touch with the whole Legally Blonde con-cept, Elle Woods is a blonde bimbo from Malibu, with a degree in Fash-ion Merchandise from UCLA. Her boyfriend Warner, who she is con-vinced will propose, dumps her over

ably more likeable than her film coun-terpart, Reese Witherspoon, she has amazing comic timing, great warmth and moments of intense vulnerability about her, especially when she bags the real man of her dreams, Emmett, the scruffy, corduroy-clad cutie.

Added to the joys of the stage is the audience’s involvement with the char-acters. Duncan James is the slimy, smug hunk who wittily plays the ar-rogant do-gooder that is Warner. The females in the audience all want to hate him, but couldn’t help but ‘ooh’ - and maybe drool slightly - at his first

appearance. And Jill Halfpenny is strong support as Paulette, the trailer-trash hairdresser who finds true love in the UPS man, to much amusment.

Backed up by her girly chorus, ready to inject some pick-me-up in any down moment, this is a feel-good musical down to its core. Trying to work out whether or not a witness to a crime was telling the truth about his affair with the very sexy, slender own-er of a fitness empire with abs of steel, Elle proves her legal worth when her gaydar shockingly exposes the wit-ness, in his tight trousers and spangly top, not as gay or European but as gay and European.

What is it that makes this show work? Its own acknowledgement of its complete over-the-topness and the irony with which it does it. As well, of course, as the very well trained dogs on stage, adding ‘awwws’ to the au-dience’s already established sound

Play: You Never Can TellDirector: Katie Colthurst Venue: Museum of Bath at Work

Bath University Student Theatre’ s latest production is an adaption of George Bernard Shaw’s play. bathimpact’s very own Theatre Cat is on hand to report.

Play: Legally Blonde The MusicalStarring: Sheridan SmithVenue: Savoy Theatre, London

You Never Can Tell is a well-paced, lively and humorous production

promises.It would have been good to have

heard and seen more of the prom-ised fancy dress party in the hotel as the Clandons and their father, a man perhaps as much sinned against as sinning, attempt to resolve their dif-ferences with the aid of the family solicitor, Finch Mc Comas, played by Pallavi Panihar, and the law-yer she recommends, Walter Bo-hun, flamboyantly played by Andrew Brown.

Walter’s catchphrase, ‘You think you will, but you won’t’ predicts fur-ther fireworks for the young lovers and a very different experience of parenting for the twins!

The play held its audience rapt in a charming fin de siècle but essential-ly period piece. It couldn’t happen now, or could it? You never can tell!

A red sock fell in the washing machine and everything came out pink

Pink and FluffyGeorgina Cotton travels to the capital to appreci-ate Legally Blonde’s stage adaption in all its girliness

She is so unashamedly girly that she can win lawsuits

through her understanding of perm technology

repertoire of ‘ooohs’ and ‘ahhhs’ and ‘teeheehees’.

This show is self-aware: it knows it’s ridiculous and

over the top

Theatre & ComedyThe Tempest @ Tobac-co Factory Theatre, Bristol

What Would Judas Do? (written by Stewart Lee) & My Arm (written by Tim Crouch) @ Usti-nov Theatre, Bath

Ring Around The Moon (Jean Anouilh) @ The Rondo Theatre, Bath

Stop Messing About: A Kenneth Williams Ex-travaganza @Theatre Royal, Bath

Eric’s Tales of the Sea @ The Rondo Theatre, Bath

Never Any Fruit @ The Rondo Theatre, Bath

Sean Lock in Lockipe-dia @Theatre Royal, Bath

Bath University Stu-dent Musicals Society – Encore @ ICIA Arts Theatre

The Pirates of Penzance @Theatre Royal, Bath

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21/04 – 01/05

21/04 – 24/04

26/04 – 01/05

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30/04 – 01/05

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03/05

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a romantic dinner for not being ‘seri-ous’ enough. He is off to Harvard law school and needs a girlfriend of a sim-ilar intellectual level. The plot follows Elle’s plight to prove her ‘seriousness’ by being accepted to Harvard law school (albeit through the use of her cheerleading squad) in order to win Warner back.

Sheridan Smith, who plays Elle Woods, couldn’t be further from the role of Rudi for whom she is best known in Gavin and Stacey. Consider-

Now, it seems to me that any (straight) male, who, let’s face it, had been dragged there by the wife or girlfriend, was intent on being able to scoff and ridicule Legally Blonde once and for all - my dad included. By the end though, they were singing, clapping and giggling along with the rest of us.

Just so you realise that this is not just a pink-loving blonde’s opinion of the show, Paul Taylor (note: male), of the Independent claimed that it is ‘ridiculously enjoyable from start to finish.’

See? I know you like, so totally wanna go.

Film ListingsThe Ghost @ Little Thea-tre Cinema, BathI Am Love @ Little Thea-tre Cinema, Bath

National Theatre Live – The Habit of Art @Little Theatre Cinema, Bath

An Evening with Beethoven @ Little Theatre Cinema, Bath

20/04 – 22/04

22/04 & 25/04

26/04

Our Film Pick - Erasing David @little Theatre 29th April. This award-winning British documentary follows the story of David, who hires two private investigators to track him down, revealing dangerous truthes about today’s surveillance soci-ety in the process. A must-see.

Sport www.bathimpact.com


Kickboxers dominate at Southern ChampionshipsOn the 28th February, 12

competitors from Uni-versity of Bath Kickbox-

ing Club competed at the Puma Southern Championships held in Paignton, Devon. Out of 12 possi-ble medals, we brought back eight gold and four silver, making it our most successful tournament to date.

The competitors were contest-ing in both point-stop and contin-uous sparring, and for many it was their first competition fighting at a new higher belt grade, and there-fore they would be against more experienced and better fighters. The Bath University “fighters of the competition” awards went to

Anna RossSport Contributor

Ahmed Suleiman for winning 10-0 in one of his fights and getting the gold medal comfortably and Nico-la Blackwood and Lizzie Brewer, both of whom were fighting in their first competitions. Nicola managed to come back from de-feat in the first round to win her second fight and claim silver, and Lizzie beat off everyone in her cat-egory for the gold medal.

Other notable mentions should go to those who had to fight each

other in the final. It is always dif-ficult having to fight someone you train with and are good friends with in a competition but both Peter and Anthony and Julia and Amy provided two of the most ex-citing and high-quality contests of the tournament. This time it was Anthony and Amy who came out on top to win gold, with Peter and Julia getting silver medals. Anna Ross also won gold in her category despite being against stronger and heavier opponents, whilst Hugo Harris won a very impres-sive gold in the black belt division. Dan Culling did extremely well in his first competition to win gold

in his weight category, and John Buckton and Vito Tomasi both triumphed in close fights against very strong opponents to get gold and silver medals respectively.

There was amazing effort from everyone on the day, with every-one getting at least a silver medal. Thank you to Julia and Mr May-nard for driving us all there and back. We have really started to make a name for ourselves now as a club on the competition cir-cuit so next time at the English Championships in June, we can hopefully build on this success and have even more competitors entering and winning.

8Number of gold medals

won by the team, out of a possible twelve.

Bath also won four sil-ver medals

Bath’s kickboxers proudly display their medals from the Puma Southern Championships, held in Paignton in February

Bath v Lufbra kickboxing: it’s onTHE FIGHT is on for Bath Univer-sity kickboxers who will put their pride and reputation on the line to settle a bitter score with old rivals.

The martial arts club are set to make a big comeback when they take on Loughborough Univer-sity during the second varsity fight night at the Sports Training Village on Friday 7 May.

The last clash between the two sides saw both Universities go into the final fight with equal scores – but it was Loughborough which eventually came out victorious.

However this year the Bath Uni-versity team are promising to fight back.

Rachel Spry, of Bath University Kickboxing Club, said: “After taking an early lead in last year’s event it was disappointing to fall at the final hurdle.

“But it’s time to hit back and when our fighters step into the ring they will be throwing their full weight behind our campaign to beat the Loughborough team.

“We’ve trained longer and hard-er and this year’s event promises to

be bigger and better than the last. So come along and support us as we battle to reclaim our territory and pride.”

On Friday 7th May the two sides will go head to head with 15 fights deciding the night’s overall winner.

The evening includes entertain-ment as well as the official after party in ‘Flirt!’. Money raised at the event will go to the charity Help for Heroes.

Tickets are £4.00 and will be available behind the bar in Plug and on parade from Monday 19th April.

Sportwww.bathimpact.com


BUCS success for water polo team

The status of the University of Bath’s men’s water polo team over the last few years

has been somewhat of a social club foremost and a sports club as an afterthought. That viewpoint has somewhat changed this year thanks to the arrival of a number of talented players – the starting outfield players have all held international honours at some level – and the following years look likely to bring the status of the sport at the university more into the limelight.

The point has been highlighted

Luke JonesSport Contributor

Jonny Cannon about to score in his team’s victory in the BUCS Shield match, held at Sheffield.

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by the team’s dominance of their BUCS league this year. The results throughout the competition have demonstrated that the team is clearly of a higher standard than the third division, and good results outside of

BUCS against better opponents have underlined the importance for the team to be playing in the top tier and challenging for the championship as soon as possible.

The BUCS Shield final in Sheffield was a chance for the team to show the rest of the leagues that they are now a team to be taken seriously. The squad took this opportunity with aplomb, and even the margin of the 20-9 vic-

tory did not do the team justice, as they played some sublime water polo and made a good Chester team look very average. The GB starlets, Jonny Cannon and Tom Jones, tussled for the title of man of the match, with the latter missing out thanks to a bi-zarre penalty miss and being sent out for a “phantom” brutality which only the referee seemed to see. The goals were spread fairly evenly throughout

the team, which demonstrates the strength Bath now possesses. In truth the victory was something of an anti-climax, as looking on at the top two league teams battling it out for their respective titles there was a shared feeling amongst the squad that they should be at the top. The victory means that they are now promoted to the second tier next year, and if they continue to show the promise that

they have shown this season then captain Dan King’s team will be chal-lenging in the top tier before long.

The ladies’ team was unfortunate to be knocked out at the semi-finals stage of their top tier BUCS compe-tition, having drawn some good op-position. As with the men’s team, the squad looks very strong and next year captain Rebecca Sherren’s team should be competing for honours.

Looking on at the top two league teams bat-tling for the Trophy and

Championship, there was a shared feeling

that they should be there

Ultimate Frisbee team defend national crown

Having won the National 2nd Division at the 2009 BUCS Championships,

Bath’s BLT arrived in Sheffield op-timistic about their chances of win-ning the division again. The team were unlucky to miss out on a place in Division 1 at Western Regionals

Jack TommonySport Contributor

and were keen to prove that they deserved a place amongst the coun-try’s top university teams.

Having been dealt a potentially tough group, BLT needed to be fast out of the blocks for a 9am start against Durham’s DUF. As with last year, the wind played a large part on the exposed pitches at Mount St. Mary’s College, and the two teams traded downwind scores at the start

of the match. Eventually Bath’s ex-tra organisation told and despite squandering some chances on the edge of the end-zone they ran out 11-7 winners. Having hit their stride towards the end of the Durham match, the remaining two group games were fairly routine 12-6 and 13-6 wins over hosts Sheffield and Strathclyde.

The second day of the tourna-

ment again started at 9am for BLT against Trinity College Dublin. The gusty winds made defending upwind points very hard work but thanks to tireless zonal defending BLT were able to turn over Trin-ity and secure two upwind scores, making the score 9-6 at the hooter. The teams now had to play a 2-point cap (effectively a game to 11) and in a nail-biting finish Bath conceded 3 points before rallying to win 11-9

and set up an all South-West semi final against Southampton Skunks.

Skunks had beaten BLT in sud-den death at regionals and Bath were keen to exact revenge on their local rivals. They stormed into a 3-0 lead but a well employed time-out allowed Skunks to regroup and pull the score back to 3-3. This was a full-blooded affair, with both sides giving their all, evidenced by three Skunks players suffering injuries over the next few points. Bath were

able to keep cool in the heat of bat-tle and whilst Southampton threw a number of passes to the ground, Bath were clinical enough to win 8-4.

Imperial College London were BLT’s opponents in the final, which was a tight affair between two fast, hard-working teams. Many of Bath’s team had played in the final last year and their experience told, as they were able to utilise their hucking game to score some long points and open up a 7-5 lead at the hooter (with the teams to play a 1-point cap). BLT kept cool heads to take the title 8-5, with Tom Fox scoring the winning point for the second year running. This was a proud finish to the University Ulti-mate careers of five of Bath’s squad as they will be graduating this sum-mer.

BLT train every Wednesday af-ternoon from 1.30pm by the La-crosse pitch behind 8W – all are welcome.

BLT Nationals Squad: B Groom-bridge (c), J Allen, A Brooks, M Chart, M Connor, T Fox, S Green, D Mawdsley, A Ready, A Thornton, J Tommony

Bath’s Ultimate Frisbee team BLT proudly display their winners’ trophy.

This was a proud finish to the BLT careers of five of Bath’s squad who will be graduating this summer.



Bath Rugby reveal ambitious new owner » Multi-millionaire rugby fanatic takes over » Premiership and Heineken Cup “the ambition of the club”

Bath Rugby has unveiled a new, multi-millionaire owner who has immediately made

clear his intention to elevate the club to the very top of European Rugby.

Bruce Craig, born and bred in Bristol, is a self-confessed rugby fanatic, a former player and a long term Bath Rugby supporter with a real passion for the long term future of the club – a key factor in previous owner Andrew Brownsword’s deci-sion to hand over ownership after up to two years of discussion. The amount of money changing hands has not been disclosed.

The entrepreneur, who recently sold his pharmaceutical distribu-tion business for some £975 million, spoke with great enthusiasm about his long term plans for the club in a welcome press conference.

The most interesting develop-ment was a spectacular new HQ

Ben CasselsSport Contributor

outside of the city. Once planning permission is confirmed, the club and its entire staff will move into Farleigh House at Farleigh Hunger-ford, a stately home in an inspiring setting 15 minutes from Bath, re-grouping all the clubs administra-tive and playing functions, currently split across 4 sites, under one roof. The completion of the facility will see a new training pitch and gym-nasium installed at the 130 acre site which formerly housed Ravenscroft School.

Grade II listed Farleigh House has been earmarked by Craig as a new headquarters for Bath Rugby.

The spectacular new HQ, com-bined with the lure of living in the city of itself is likely to tempt plenty

of big name players to Bath. Such an influx would go a long way to help-ing the club in its quest to become one of European Rugby’s power-houses. There was no doubting this sentiment in the vision described by Mr. Craig: “To win the Guinness Premiership and The Heineken Cup

– and to win them consistently – has got to be the ambition of the club.”

Mr. Craig wasted no time in shut-tling a selection of his playing and coaching staff over to Farleigh for a tour of the picturesque site. Cap-tain Michael Claassens was over-whelmed by the facilities. ”The new

“

”Michael Claassens

What the club has done is send out a very clear statement of where it wants to be.

place is awesome. What the club has done is send out a very clear state-ment of where it wants to be.”

The new man also confirmed his intention to pursue plans for a new stadium for up to 25,000 spectators in line with the club’s existing ambi-tions.

Wasted chances cost basketballers dear

Fiona SimSA Sports Reporter

The Gladiators’ season has gone very smoothly this year; they’ve won all of the

matches in their league. The team were hoping to add another win to their collection today and secure promotion from Tier 2 to Tier 1 with a cup final showdown against Bristol 1sts.

Right from the start, it was obvi-ous that it would be a fast and hard match for both teams, and thus it proved to be. With Bath support-ers outnumbering Bristol’s by 20-1 the match got underway with Bristol securing the tip off. They instantly put Bath under pressure and had four or five chances to score but were unable to convert due to Bath’s strong man on man defence. Another error from Bris-tol gave Bath a turnover and they quickly put points on the board in their usual crowd-pleasing fash-ion. Nerves from both teams soon became apparent and the first foul of the match came from Bristol, allowing Bath’s No. 12, Stephen Mussgnug, to score more points from under the basket.

Bath’s defence had been the stronger of the two, but a great set play from Bristol saw them put their first score on the board. How-

Men’s Basketball

Bath University 1sts 70

Bristol University 1sts 82

ever, this failed to affect Bath and their No.12 quickly replied with a three-pointer. The strong plays from Bristol weren’t picked up by Bath as quickly as they hoped, but an over-eager Bristol player com-mitted another foul, this time on No.15, Bath’s captain Nick Hutton. He was successful with his first free throw, and fortunately the re-bound of his second was won by his team, which soon resulted in more points on the board for Bath. Bath 10, Bristol 6.

Missed opportunities from Bris-tol coupled with strong defence from Bath, allowing No. 8 Marc Rovira to showcase his dribbling skills, dodging the whole Bristol team. After a small miscommuni-cation from Bath in the key, and

Bath Captain Nick Hutton goes for a slam dunk during his team’s regional cup final defeat against Bristol 1sts.

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with the ball refusing to sink, Bris-tol were back in the scoring zone, putting them in the lead for the first time in the match.

With scores coming from both sides and some strong rebounding from Bath’s No.15, the home side were able to reduce Bristol’s lead to 3 points. However, the Bristol team soon capitalised on a succes-sion of unnecessary errors from Bath and maintained their lead at the end of the quarter. Bath 16, Bristol 26.

The restart from Bath showed promise, but another foul in the key allowed Bristol to increase their lead to 7. Bath had let them-selves down, badly missing shot after shot under the basket, and it took them 4 minutes to even score a point in the quarter. Their spirits hadn’t been crushed yet, but they needed to start playing with a bit

more accuracy if they wanted to get back into the game. Despite this, the Gladiators did start to domi-nate possession and it looked like they had finally woken up as they went into the break for half time. Bath 26, Bristol 38.

Even though Bath were 12 points behind at the start of the second half they were by no means out of the match. The points kept coming for Bristol, but Bath were not dis-couraged, and a couple of strong lay-ups and impressive dunks from their No.14, Ore Ladele, put them within 6 points of taking the lead. Bath now needed to maintain their composure and stay in posses-sion to keep the pressure on Bris-tol. Encouraged by some accurate three-point shooting from Bath’s No.8 and great defence in the key, Bath began to eat away at Bristol’s lead. However, once again this ef-

fort from Bath was short lived and their defence became sporadic. The turnovers became increasingly more unnecessary as many players became frustrated with themselves and their team mates. Bath 48, Bristol 57.

The fourth quarter saw Bath’s last chance to bring home the win. The pressure soared in the final 5 minutes, as Bath came to within three points of taking the lead. They seemed to have maintained their composure and continued to score points with consistent strong drives through the key from No.15 and impressive but nervy three-pointers from No.8. With one minute left on the clock and Bristol ahead by five, Bath’s coach called a time out to have one last talk with his team. With the clock ticking down it was the elementary errors from Bath that allowed Bris-

tol to increase their lead. The win quickly slipped away from home side and Bristol snatched the win from their grasp. The final score, Bath 70, Bristol 82.

Coach Tony Wright said he was pleased with his team’s perform-ance, but felt they never really executed what they talked about in training. It was apparent in the Gladiators’ performance today that the pressure of the occasion had a big effect on some of the players. Captain Nick Hutton spoke of the disappointment of the team not finishing the season on a high with a win. But he emphasised that this must not detract from their achievements this season. They haven’t dropped one game in their league, and with this under their belt they are sure to dominate in their play-off for promotion this week.



With the clock ticking it was the elementary

errors from Bath that al-lowed Bristol to increase

their lead



Skiers and ‘boarders tackle French Alps

This Easter Bath Snowsports took a coach-load to the Brit-ish Universities Snowsports

Championships (BUSC), a week packed full of competitions and entertainment. This year BUSC took place on the beautiful slopes of Alpe d’Huez in France, where we were blessed with the perfect com-bination of snow and sun.

Bath entered nine competitors in the events, and put in a very good performance. There were some very successful individual results from Bath’s skiers and snowboarders; Rob Wagner and Angus Maidment qualified for the Slopestyle final, and Angus, Ol-lie Tulloch and Jennie McConnell also qualified for the final heats of the Skier/Boarder X competition. Ollie became one of the few Bath skiers to ever tackle the Super G course, and a crowd of Bath sup-porters came out to watch the high speed event.

Team dual slaloms and the Big

Jennie McConnell reports on Bath’s experience at the British Uni-versities Snowsports Championships.

Air competition took place un-der floodlights on the Tuesday evening, drawing crowds of spec-tators from all of the universities. Bath teams put on a great show, despite the absence of a few of our key racers. The ski team had a very close first race, but made a last minute comeback to win and qualify for the quarter-final. James Berry got one of his famous nose-

Above, University skiers in action on the slopes of Alpe d’Huez. Below right, the Bath University Snowsports contingent.

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bleeds at the start of the next race and crossed the finish line look-ing like he had been in a fight. The snowboard team also raced well and finished in 5th place.

Both on and off the race piste it was a fantastic week, the snow conditions were perfect and every-one came home with new friends, sexy panda tan and lots of good memories.



Bath lose out to UWIC in hockey cup finalMen’s Hockey

Bath University 2nds 2

UWIC 1sts 3

David JamesSports Contributor

Whilst the Bath specta-tors clearly had the up-per hand in the off-pitch

banter match (UWIC onlooker: “If you’d like to turn to page three of your song sheet”, drunken Bath lad: “Oi, your mum’s on page three!”), Bath Hockey 2nd XI unfortunately lost out to UWIC’s (University of Wales Institute Cardiff) 1st XI in the BUCS Western Conference Cup Final.

The game seemed well-contest-ed right from the push back, with both teams mounting strong at-tacks on the opposing goal. Bath looked particularly threatening on the wings, yet UWIC’s stable de-fence meant Bath couldn’t score from their many chances. However, with a goal by UWIC and a quickly converted short-corner by Bath, the first half ended 1-1.

Whilst the banter match con-tinued through the half-time break - a sterling Bath fan commented: “We’re better than UWIC chicks with hockey sticks… we’ve got balls

too!” - Bath continued to put pres-sure on the UWIC defence in the second half; clearly demonstrated

when an attempted aerial from the sideline by UWIC sailed back-wards right over the player’s head, above the astro fence and into the

field next door! However, the Welsh team soon hit back and mounted three promising attacks in quick succession. Yet whilst the Bath defence kept composed, scrappy midfield-play by UWIC meant Bath could start to go on the offensive. After promising runs by Ed Sut-ton, Guy Tasker and Tom Irons, an overly aggressive UWIC defender was the only thing that could keep Bath from scoring, after he unfairly knocked down Bath striker Ben Humphries. Nevertheless, after

UWIC dangerously deflected Bath’s short corner, Bath converted their awarded penalty flick, to stand the score at 2-1.

Yet whilst a UWIC player showed his frustration to the ref and was subsequently penalised for foul language (most of which I couldn’t even hide here with asterisks it was so offensive), UWIC returned with a goal from a strong right-wing at-tack, bringing the full-time score to 2-2.

After a short break and yet even

The Bath defence pro-duced an admirable

effort, but UWIC proved they were just too strong

more side-line banter (“Kiss my push-pass you Welsh sheep-sha…), the match went into sudden-death ‘golden goals’, where the first team to score would win the match and indeed the BUCS final. Whilst the Bath attackers handled the ball well up-field, and the Bath defence pro-duced an admirable effort, the op-posing team proved they were just too strong for us as another goal-mouth scramble saw UWIC poke the ball home from close range, bringing the final score to 2-3.

Bath go on the attack against UWIC during their BUCS Western Conference Cup Final defeat

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Pool sharks tamed, but eager to bite backSean LightbownSport [email protected]

Bath’s 8-ball pool teams gained mixed results in the University Pool Championships, held in

Great Yarmouth in February.Representing Bath 1sts in the

Championship division were Rupinder Hunjan (captain and chief chalker), Dale Cadet, Jabie Saunders, Aman Dhatt and Jourdan Noel. Ma-son Pember, Tom Anderson, Charlie Cole, Teng Ma and I made up the sec-ond string, taking part in the Shield competition.

An early start was needed on Thursday morning to make the long trip to Suffolk and get the players there for the 3pm start time of the individual qualifying rounds. Unlike the team tournament outlined previ-ously, these were straight knock-out matches, with all players hoping to progress to the first round proper of

the Individual Championships, and maybe even further.

The first qualifying round saw some success for Bath, with Dhatt, Noel and myself making it through to the sec-ond stage. Anderson, Saunders, Cole, Ma and Pember were all unlucky to lose closely contested matches and get knocked out of the competition. Cole can feel particularly aggrieved as an in-off on the black gave his opponent the match, when it would have been all square with one frame remaining.

Hunjan and Cadet, whose perform-ance the previous year ensured they got a bye in the first qualifying round, both played well to make it through to the first round proper with 3-1 and 3-2 wins respectively. I made it three in the hat for Bath, with a 3-1 win. Un-fortunately, Noel and Dhatt couldn’t make it five in the bag; both players came agonisingly close to what would have been an impressive feat in their first year of competition.

For their efforts, the three remain-ing competitors in the individuals were dealt horrendously difficult draws in the last 128 stage. Cadet was given a Leeds 1st teamer, whilst Hunjan was drawn against Rich Wharton of Anglia-Ruskin; 4th seed in the event and former champion. To top it all off, I was drawn against Lee Morris of UWE; the top seed, defending cham-

pion and Welsh international.Despite this, all three of us did well.

Cadet played some tactically astute pool to overcome his opponent 4-2, but went out in the next round 4-1 to an Ulster-Coleraine first-teamer Barry Crossey. Hunjan made Wharton work hard for his 4-2 victory, whereas I lost

4-0 to Morris; a frustrating result, as I had a number of chances to take a 3-1 lead. Wharton and Crossey would go on to make the semi-finals, and Mor-ris would eventually be the runner-up.

With the 1st team’s success last year, expectations were high in the team events. However, tough draws meant it would be a struggle for either team to make their mark on the tour-nament.

The 1st team came up against de-fending champions Queens Universi-ty Belfast 1sts in their first match, and provided them with a stern test, going down 6-2 in the end. A creditable 5-5 draw with Strathclyde 1sts at the end of the first day saw them with a real chance of progressing through to the later stages. However, two losses to Oxford 1sts and Leeds 1sts the next day saw any hopes of qualification for the knockouts extinguished.

The second team got off to a faulty start with a 6-3 loss to Cardiff 3rds –

3Bath players that quali-

fied for the first round of the Individuals.

a game which many of the team felt they should have won quite comfort-ably. A tough second game against Abertay 1sts, who count a Scottish international amongst their team, was therefore even more important. Un-fortunately though, some improved play from Bath was negated by some spellbinding stuff from the Scots, who prevailed 6-2 to leave Bath all the work in the world to do to qualify.

Two more losses the following day to Nottingham 3rds and Queens University Belfast 2nds proved to be terminal, before eventually finishing on a happier note with a 6-3 victory over Birmingham 1sts. Despite some disappointment, the teams can feel proud of their efforts. Freshers Am-att, Noel and Ma showed tremendous talent, and are sure to be the team’s fixtures in the future. With Pember, Hunjan and Anderson also returning next year, it looks like pool success for Bath is just around the corner.

impactsportUniversity rowers create historyRecords tumble as BUBC deliver the silverware

Phil GraySport Contributor

Last month saw Bath Univer-sity Boat Club’s senior men attend the Head of the River

Race in London. This event runs over the same course as the Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, and is the cul-mination of the winter season, with all entrants racing in crews of eight. The event attracts entrants from a number of different countries, in-cluding Spain, Italy and the Czech Republic to name a few, along with a number of current and former Ol-ympians.

Bath had two crews entered into the Intermediate 3 category and, in accordance with last year’s results,

were starting 193rd and 395th out of the 400 boats racing. For a number of the Bath University athletes this was their first time competing in the event, and what an introduction it turned out to be.

The second boat, starting almost an hour and a half after the race had started, put in a strong performance to overtake six boats on their way to a finishing position of 159th based on time. This was a great result, and better than either of the University’s boats achieved last year. The crew of Tom Sanderson, Jon McCree-Grey, Graham Davis, Oliver Horncastle, Merrick Odam, Chris Weller-Jones, Oliver Towndrow, Boris D’Arcy and cox Hannah Gavin were really happy with the result, and it showed how

much the club has come on since last season.

The first boat put in a tremendous performance to finish in 50th place, smashing the previous University best by 27 places. Not only was this

a new best for the University, it was good enough to take the Intermedi-ate 3 category and claim the Uni-

versity’s first ever Head of the River Pennant. Overtaking five crews on the way to this result, the crew man-aged to finish ahead of some well established university rowing names such as Reading, Birmingham and Edinburgh, and finished an agonis-ing 1.3 seconds behind local rivals Bristol University. This was a huge improvement on the result at BUCS Head the previous month, where Bristol had beaten Bath by 40 sec-onds. The crew of Patrick Allen, Jack Cadman, Rich Howell, Rob McDou-gall, Nick McMullan, Rob Good, Will Stride, Phil Gray and cox Sophie El-lis were over the moon with the re-sult and the improvements that had been made leading up to the event.

This performance backs up the

50thFinishing place out of

400 for the first boat; a personal best for Bath

by 27 places

result of the University’s women’s team only two weeks before when they also managed to achieve the best ever finishing position at the women’s head of the river. After a tricky race the women managed to finish in 63rd position, a new best for the club. This also highlights the improvement made within the wom-en’s squad.

Both these results have provided a great starting block for the rest of the season, and show how much the University has progressed in such a short time. Let’s hope the club can make some more giant steps forward in the summer regatta season and prove to the rest of the country that Bath University Boat Club is a force to be reckoned with!

Bath University Boat Club’s first boat, starting from 193rd position, glide through the water at the Head of the River Race in London to claim an astonishing 50th.

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Bath demolish Cheshire to claim BUCS ShieldWater Polo, p31

bath impact volume 11 issue 12

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