be fabulous! august - sept 2011

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2 • Be Fabulous! I www.fabulousat50.com I august • september • 2011

A clinic for women, by women.

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Call or visit our website for more information or to book an appointment.

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Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 3

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Change can be scary. The fear of the unknown is oftentimes just enough to hold you back from taking that leap of faith to potentially improve your life. You grapple with self-doubt, wonder-ing if it’s better to stay with what you already know, rather than risk trading an unhappy existence for one that may be even bleaker.

Ultimately, it’s not so much the change that’ll cripple you…it’s the fear behind the change.

Yet, life is all about taking chances…and pushing past your comfort zone. From that first breathless exhilaration you felt as a college freshman to your deter-mination to land that coveted first job, chances are that the courage has always been there. It’s simply become dor-mant…and like underutilized muscles, you need to stretch and walk before you break into a run.

But never doubt that you can run.

If the you-of-your-youth could master the art of driving…tackle the challenge of moving into your first home and muster the confidence to take a chance on love, there is nothing that the expe-rienced, intelligent you-of-today cannot accomplish.

I was recently presented with the YWCA Women of Distinction Award, in the Turning Point category. This award honours “extraordinary women who

undertake positive changes in the face of adversity and also recognizes their contributions to our community”. This award embodies my philosophy for change… for I know that without it, we cannot grow. As much as we may resist it, it holds within it potential, promise and undeniable hope.

If you’re struggling against a tide of emotion, tension and adversity, maybe it’s time to consider turning around and riding that wave until you’re safely back on the shore. Instead of combating change, try embracing it. Use the power of visualization to imagine the best-case scenario…and then break down the steps to achieve that goal. Your poten-tial does not decrease with time…but instead becomes enhanced with the wisdom of experience.

The time is now…for if not now, when??

Do it for that twenty-something girl you used to be…and for the fabulous woman you have now become. zCheers, Dianna

Changing Your tomorrow

DIANNA BOWESFounder of Fabulous@50 • Graphic Designer/Artist • Editor Dianna is a strong, passionate and creative baby boomer woman with a life full of experi-ences that she could write a couple books about and maybe will one day. Dianna was awarded the 2011 YWCA Women of Distinction’s Turn-ing Point Award. [email protected] • fabulousat50.com

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EDMONTON

Publisher Gryphon Publishing http://gryphonpubs.wordpress.com

Editor Dianna Bowes [email protected]

Designer Creative On The Move www.creativeonthemove.com

Printer R.R. Donnelly

Sales Christy CookeE [email protected] P 780-756-8106

Editorial Contributors: Dianna Bowes, Shirley Borrelli, Atco Blue Flame Kitchen, Elizabeth Manuel, Cindy Hobson, Jennifer Park, Karen Buowicki (AMA Travel), Donna Worthington, Cath-erine Larose, Ava Seavey, Dr. Dorree Lynn, Sue Paulson, Reneigh Pickunyk

Are you interested in becoming an expert for Be Fabulous: E: [email protected]

Be Fabulous! is published six times a year.

Want a copy: www.fabulousat50.com/magazineThe articles represent the views and opinions of the individual authors and not necessarily the publisher. No material should be reprinted in whole or in part without the expressed written permission of the publisher/authors. The contents of Be Fabulous! should not be used as advice of any kind. Please consult the appropri-ate professionals for any advise. Be Fabulous! does not constitute endorsements of, or assumption for, liability for any claims made in the advertisements and or advertising information.

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3 Sweet talk Changing Your Tomorrow.

6 lOOkING FaBUlOUS at 50 Change vs Transformation.

8 HaPPINeSS How Changing Your Attitude Can Change Your Life.

10 MOtHeR OF tHe BRIDe 6 Essential Shopping Tips.

12 FINaNCIal FINeSSe Developing Great Habits: part 2.

14 Featured FaBUlOUS@50 wOMaN Kim Fraser.

17 tRaVel My Great Escape: Athens, Greece.

19 IN tHe kNOw

20 FaBUlOUS PaRtNeRING His Castle, Your Castle, or Our Castle.

21 FaB BOOkS

22 GaRaGe Sale Making the Most Out of a Garage Sale.

24 eXeRCISe VS SeXeRCISe Why Going to the Bedroom May be Healthier Than Going to the Gym.

25 eVeRYDaY FOOD Going With The Grain.

26 lIVe well Achieving Your Ideal Weight: A Holistic Journey: part 2.

29 eVeNtS

what’s INSIDe?

Cover Photo: Nicole Watson is an Edmonton-based free-lance photographer who is the creative mind behind Nicole Ashley Photography. Since she was a little girl, Nicole felt as though she viewed the world through a lens. She found herself wanting to freeze time whenever she encountered something truly extraordinary or beautiful; eventually, it was photography that allowed her to capture these moments.

nicole ashley photography • [email protected] • www.nicoleashley.ca

FEATURE PHOTOGRAPHER Nicole Ashley Photography

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Freedictionary.com states the definition of change as “become different in es-sence; losing one’s or its original nature;” i.e. “The weather changed last night.” Change is abrupt and obvious. We would never describe the weather as transforming or the seasons transform from Summer to Fall.

Freedictionary.com describes transform as a change in outward structure or looks; “The larva transformed into a but-terfly.” Hmmm. The dictionary uses the word change to describe a transforma-tion.

Somehow the word change has a nega-tive connotation to me. Change your behaviour; change your eating habits; as though those were broken and need fixing. The word transform or transfor-

mation seems more pleasant; to move along a gradual contin-uum of change. Transformation suggests noth-ing is broken but rather becoming a better version of itself. I much prefer the word transformation to describe change in my line of work.

Case study: here’s a picture of Annie Lutgens before (left) and after (above) permission gained to share her story. She was the Fabulous@50 Makeover winner from 2010. (See details how to apply for 2011 Makeover at www.fabulousat50.com). Her daughter sub-mitted her application for the makeover telling us Annie’s story:

“My Mom recently turned 55 which she has always told me would be her year to shine. The past 15 years haven’t been easy on her. She battled depression with countless bouts in the hospital and fought additions.

She was unable to work. She dealt with deteriorating health and took care of

CHaNGe vs transformation?

As the seasons change and summer becomes fall, we can physically see the

changes in nature. The grass turns a yellowish green. The leaves become

yellow, orange and deep red. The flowers are no longer in bloom.

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me through a four year illness when she could hardly take care of herself. Through all of these hardships, she didn’t have the energy, desire or money to invest anything in herself. My Mom is my rock and my inspiration; she has taught me that with determination and tenacity there is nothing you can’t overcome.”

“In the past three years, I have watched her take back control of her life, get a great job that she loves and is accom-plished. She defeated her addictions. What amazes me the most is her drive to improve her health, not only for her family, but because she knows that she deserves to live a long healthy life.”

“Years ago, I thought that between the depression and the addictions, she may never be around to watch me get mar-ried, have children or enjoy the many things she deserves in life. I am getting married in August 2011 and just know-ing that she will be there, makes all of the my wishes come true. I know this makeover would make all of hers come true as well.”

TRANSFORMATION

Annie’s successful makeover included work with a life coach to move away from what she doesn’t want and to-wards what she does want.

Pictured on previous page is Annie’s outfit she will wear to her daughter’s wedding. Annie now has a haircut that makes her feel pretty and younger. She is wearing natural looking makeup that brings out the blue in her eyes. Annie says after her makeover “I’ve never felt this beautiful in my life. Thank you.”

Annie transformed into a better ver-sion of herself. Changing her outward appearance was the catalyst to change how she felt about herself on the inside. Her makeover allowed her to see herself as beautiful, and worthy of a healthy and happy life. zFor more makeover information contact Shirley at [email protected]. For more information how you can apply for this year’s Fabulous@50 makeoever contest, visit www.fabulousat50.com.

{Transforming yourself from the inside out to become a better version of yourselves will have a positive ripple effect on

everyone around you.

Annie and her daughter on day of make-over.

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SHIRLEY BORRELLI Personal Development Mentor/ Author/Speaker • Coach

Shirley is a fun, energetic and results driven professional who will build your confidence to attract more success in your life. She has been seen on several TV networks including CTV Edmonton where she was recently interviewed to comment on Prime Minister Harper’s image. Shirley graduated from the University of Alberta with a Bachelor’s Degree in Education and a major in business. 780.235.5506 • [email protected] • ShirleyBorrelli.com

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SS How Changing Your attitude Can Change Your life

You are your own worst enemy. You are harder on yourself than you would be on anyone else. But with a change in your attitude you can change your life. The bottom line is that our success or failure begins and ends with our atti-tudes about ourselves. What we believe determines our results. Think big and prosperous and you’ll get big, prosper-ous results. Think small and lacking and you’ll achieve just that. The choice is yours.

Treating yourself with compassion will greatly enhance your life. I hear your inner critic hard at work right now. It is possible to diminish this nasty voice and be free to discover your potential, but it all begins with love. Love yourself first and surround yourself with people who want to grow and help support you. If you believe in yourself, the universe will mirror that back to you and will support you in your desire to change. You will notice a positive improvement in your life experience as you make this a practice.

Beliefs are choices we make. You can choose to believe that you are capable of finding a solution or believe in giving up your dreams. If you don’t believe in your ability, who else will?

In order to get what you want out of life, you must first decide what you want. And it all starts with a change in attitude. In my practice, one activity

that I encourage participants to work through is to create a “do, be, have” list. Do, be, and have. The order is essential, but it isn’t consistent with how most of us operate.

Most of us are brought up and have had it drilled into us from an early age that by doing all the right stuff, we’ll come to have all the things we want, and then at some point be able to look around us and say “Yes, I’ve become a success or built my dream... I’ve become what I set out to be.” However that’s NOT how the universe works.

Sure, you can probably achieve some measure of what looks like success doing this, but you will NOT have the peace of mind or happiness or content-ment that create miracles and fosters change. The real order, the CORRECT order to achieving all of your dreams is:

“BE, DO, HAvE”

You must FIRST become the person you want to BE and then DO the things the kind of person you want to become does. This will, as a natural conse-quence, bring about circumstances that mean you’ll MANIFEST the things you want.

If you want to achieve any dream, BE the person who lives the life you love right now. Act as if your life is wonderful right now. Speak about the great things you are experiencing.

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Get excited, passionate, and engage your positive emotions in “being” a wonderful expression of the truth of who you are.

Be... Do... Have Burn this order into your soul and be-come the person who does the things to manifest what you want. The really neat thing is that by doing it in this order, you CAN NOT fail.

So how can you change your attitude in order to BE?

Our attitude shows up in everything we think, say, and do. Most of us have routine or lists of things that we do everyday. For instance, driving or taking public transit to work for many is a daily routine. Time wise this may be any-where from ten minutes up to an hour.

HOw ARE yOU USING THIS TIME?

Your attitude is showing up right now. Your attitude is setting the stage for what is next to come. If you are choos-ing a grumpy or negative attitude on your commute to work you are sending waves of negativity ahead of you to your workplace.

If, while you are driving to work, you focus on awful traffic and think about how stressed you are, you’ll arrive at work and walk into the exact same energy you created. You are always at-tracting what you give out. If you don’t like what you have created, the bonus is you can choose at any given moment to change your attitude and thus create new and better results.

During the commute to work you can consciously set your intention to feel

good and think about all the benefits you derive from your work. Plus you can use your driving time to listen to your favourite music or an inspirational CD. Busy people can take this opportunity for quality alone time with a gentle at-titude shift.

Changing your thoughts to be positive will bring more success and prosper-ity into your daily experience and will help you to be, do, and have. You’ll be amazed at how small shifts in your atti-tude can dramatically change what your life feels like for you. z

Here are some thoughts to focus on during your next commute:

l I’m lucky to have this job where I get to meet some really wonderful people.

l I love to receive my pay-cheque for work well done.

l I really enjoy testing my skills with this job.

l Challenges are a way for me to develop more creativity.

l I thrive on helping and serv-ing others.

l My contribution to this company is valuable.

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ELIZABETH MANUEL Speaker • Coach

In the area of the psychology of happiness, no one is better respected than Elizabeth Manuel. Giving from her heart with over a decade of spe-cialized experience in increasing happiness and self-esteem, author of two books and six CDs, Elizabeth is a successful speaker and coach and certainly a powerful and positive woman of in-fluence. [email protected] • 780.445.9299

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Mom, stop obsessing over the bride’s wedding gown -- you’ve got some dress shopping to do yourself! Here’s our advice for moms on how to find your mother of the bride dress.

Whether you’re the mother of the bride or the mother of the groom, you’ll have many special moments on the wedding day. All eyes will be on you as you walk into the ceremony and when you’re announced at the reception. And what about all those pictures? You may not have shopped for a dress this important since your own wedding, so here are some tips to get you going.

COMMUNICATION IS KEy

Talk to the bride. Get a sense of her vi-sion for the day. Think of the wedding as a big production -- you have one of the leading roles. Find out from the bride (the director) how to dress your part.

GET GOING

Start shopping as early as possible, but not until the bride has chosen her wed-ding gown and the bridesmaid dresses -- then it’s time for you to begin your own Mother of the Bride dress search.

MAKE A MATCH

Look at what the bride and the bridal party are wearing and follow their lead as far as formality.

FIND yOUR HUE

Decide what colour you want to wear. Start looking with several color

preferences in mind -- but stay away from white, cream or ivory (you don’t want to look like you’re trying to steal the spotlight). The best Mother of the Groom and Mother of the Bride dresses compliment the mom’s coloring and don’t clash with the wedding colors (no, the dress doesn’t have to match the bridesmaids’).

COMPROMISE wITH THE BRIDE

A good idea is to have the bride send you magazine pictures to get an idea of what style she has in mind. If she’d like you to wear a style you’re not happy wearing, let her know and do your best to compromise. It’s her day, but you have to feel comfortable.

TAlK TO THE MOTHER OF THE GROOM

The Mother of the Bride should consult with the Mother of the Groom when she’s selected her dress, informing her of color and formality. The groom’s mother doesn’t have to buy something in the same shade, but it should echo the skirt and sleeve length.

Cindy Hobson • http://wedding.theknot.com

Mother of the Bride: 6 essential Shopping tips

A major trend for 2011 for the mother of the bride and groom is the royal wedding theme. The Mother of Catherine Middleton looked stunning in her sky blue ensem-ble with matching Jane Corbett hat.

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e Developing Great Habits: A Financial Planning Strategy - part 2

Here are some “habits” or “strategies” that can be easily implemented and adjusted to meet your ever-changing financial circumstances.

1. Keep A Cash Flow Statement. Know exactly the amount of net income that flows into your bank account each month and what your “fixed costs” are. Some people like to average out their utility and tax payments, just like their mortgage payments for easier tracking. Check this monthly --- mark it on your calendar.

2. Start Purchasing Your RRSPs On a Monthly Basis. What is your annual allowance? Divide your annual contribu-tion by twelve and purchase monthly. There is a second advantage to buying your RRSP this way. If the stock market is down and you are buying a fixed dollar amount of mutual funds units you will buy more shares. This is called “Dollar Cost Averaging”.

If you are in a lower income bracket or have a good pension that doesn’t allow you to purchase much into RRSP con-sider opening a TFSA. Per year, $5000.00 can be purchased or up to $416.00/month. But be careful not to over-con-tribute, as the fines can be steep. Pur-chase once or twice a month through Pre-Authorized Chequeing (PAC).

3. Determine Your Risk(s) and Du-ration. Once you have determined what you are at risk for, determine the number of years you believe each risk will last. Buy cheap Term Insurance for

the temporary risks and permanent insurance for the life-long risks. Think of this analogy: If you drive a car you need car insurance. If you stop driving, would you continue to pay for car insurance? Pay your insurance premiums monthly with an automatic deduction from your bank account.

4. Review Your Group Benefits Book-let. Is there something you could take advantage of? It can come right off your paycheque and chances are that you won’t miss it.

5. Buy Registered Education Savings Plan (RESP). RESP’s can be purchased for your children and/or grand children. Purchasing on a monthly basis through a PAC (preauthorized chequeing plan) is the easiest. You will require a Social Insurance number for each child. The Canadian Education Savings Grant is available to each child on the first $2500, that equates to $500 of grant money. Be sure to become aware of all the rules about RESP’s and the grants. Not all education plans are created equal.

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6. Open A Travel Fund. In my financial planning practice over the last two de-cades I have heard from so many of my clients who want to travel when they are retired. Open a “Travel Fund” and start today. If you are tired of receiving “stuff’ from your family and friends on birthdays and anniversaries, ask them to contribute to your “Travel Fund”. Most will be pleased to give you a “meaning-ful gift”.

7. Start Charitable Gifting. This can be done on a monthly basis too! Call your favourite charity and start today. The government will reward you with a tax credit.

8. Consult a Certified Financial Planner. Worrying about retirement has become a Canadian pastime, especially for those 50+.

Make an appointment today with a Certified Financial Planner. Do a com-prehensive financial plan. You may be better off than you think OR at least now you know where you stand. People don’t plan to fail, they just fail to plan.

A “teaching and learning” principle ac-cepted among academics is that “learn-ing has not taken place unless behav-iour has changed”. Let learning happen for you here today and start some new sound habits that will help lead you to financial security. zTo view complete article go to blogs on www.fabulousat50.com.

DONNA WORTHINGTON CFP EPC • Investment Planning CounselDonna is on the National Board of Directors as 1st Vice-Chair of the Canadian Institute of Financial Planners. (780) 702-1551

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We use only 10 per cent of our brains, according to countless pseu-do-scientists and self-help gurus.

If this were true, it would definitely not apply to Kim Fraser.

The Edmonton professor and home healthcare advocate can’t help but stand out from others – like a rogue thumb with some rare, high-functioning genetic anomaly.

In truth, we use 100 per cent of our brains, according to the myth-debunk-ing website, snopes.com (as revealed in PET scans and functional MRIs).

But, just as some people grab life by the horns while others squander its gifts, Dr. Fraser wastes not and wants not.

Her life is “blessed” ... because she counts her blessings, and pursues life like a bull chasing a cape.

“Home care is not only tea and toast for Mrs. Jones. It may offer that, but it’s just so much more including support, care and case management with people who have severe, chronic and complex medi-cal needs,” says the University of Alberta Faculty of Nursing prof, in her personable but direct and efficacious way.

Recently appointed to sit on a Health Council of Canada expert panel fo-cusing on the future of home care in Canada, Dr. Fraser is adamantly passion-ate about supporting families in getting the right kind of care and making our country’s home-care programs the best they can be.

There’s a moving story behind her un-common drive. Fraser was an 18-year-old nursing student in Nova Scotia when her father was diagnosed with chronic, progressive Multiple Sclerosis (MS). The longtime fisherman, mason, shriner, entrepreneur and operations manager for the Ministry of Mines and Energy retired early, but lived for another 20 years – thanks to the skilled, loving and 24-hour care provided by Kim’s mother, who was also a registered nurse.

“I had a lot of hesitation about leaving Nova Scotia, knowing the support my dad would need, but my parents didn’t want to hold me back from my dreams and goals and where I might live and make my mark in the world,” says the 49-year-old wife and mother.

While working in the small farming

a Care-Full life at FUll throttleDriven home-care doc extols balance and purpose

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community of Hilbre, in the north inter-lake region of Manitoba, Kim met her husband, an entrepreneur. It was love at first sight, and in 1992 they took a road trip to Nova Scotia and tied the knot.

Soon after, the couple bought a We Care Home Health Services franchise in Edmonton, to offer 24-hour access and support to clients amid major health reforms in a recession-hit prov-ince. Dr. Fraser gave birth to their son, Matheson, in 1999.

BEST CARE SECRET

“He is just our life. Matheson was one-and-a-half years old when Dad died. Dad’s illness and his death is a marker in my family. He motivated me, gave me his drive and passion for life and it pushed me here,” Fraser says, softly.

These days, part of her on-going re-search program focuses on how to use arts-based research methods to trans-late knowledge about home care and the needs and experiences of clients and families receiving home care.

“Home care is the world’s best-kept secret. Until you need it, you don’t re-ally think about it,” she says, tapping a sandaled foot revealing blue-polished tootsies.

How the heck does this girl have time to paint her toenails?!

As if being a mom with a full-time job and a family business weren’t busy enough, when Matheson was still quite young, Fraser decided to tackle a PhD.

“When you do a PhD in life, it takes a family to get you there,” she beams.

Her extended efforts led to the creation of the Pride In Home Care: A Program

of Research and Innovation for Decision Excellence at the University of Alberta.

She sleeps seven hours a night, doesn’t answer emails most evenings and weekends, and avows that, despite her full schedule, she leads a “balanced” life.

A moment later, she’s chatting about her serious concerns over whether Canada is prepared to look after its ag-ing population.

CHANGES AND INNOvATIONS

“We are in the midst of changes and innovations in home care across the county-and that is good! We need to be prepared. We are so far behind European and Nordic countries when it comes to caring for our elderly. It’s time to get beyond incremental changes and make home care better for families,” says Dr. Fraser, with tireless passion in her clear eyes.

“We are a relatively young country, comparatively speaking; and we have to pay attention to our values as we move forward with innovations lead to stron-ger home care programs for Canadians.”

Jennifer Parks is a freelance writer and yoga instructor living in Edmonton. Visit her blog at http://thehappyquest.wordpress.com/

Kim with her husband and son on vacation at Fairmont Hot Springs.

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Although I’ve travelled all around the world, nothing could prepare me for the charm and beauty of Greece.

My adventure began in Athens at the Plaka district, one of the oldest neigh-bourhoods in the city. Most of the streets there are closed to vehicle traffi c and are fi lled with tourist shops, restaurants and cafes. I recommend taking public transportation to get around town. It’s very convenient and quite aff ordable. In the Plaka neighbourhood, you can buy anything from antiques to kitschy souve-nirs. If you’re a bargain hunter, I suggest buying gold, which is reasonably priced throughout the country.

In Athens, the place to be on Sundays is the Monastiraki Flea Market. Though it’s called a fl ea market, it’s really a collec-tion of tourist shops – a great place for anyone to spend the day.

Take time to visit the vast amount of popular historical landmarks, such as the ancient ruins of

the Acropolis and the Parthenon temple. If you go early in the morning, you can avoid the crowds. Museum lovers, you’ve come to the right place to be awed. Visit the National Archaeological Museum,

My greAt escAPeAthens, Greece

one of the top museums in the world.

Greece is home to many islands, each with its own character. Mykonos is known for its vivid nightlife, sandy beaches and iconic windmills. Many of the white-painted villages depicted in watercolor paintings and movies can be found on rocky Santorini, while Rhodes is home to a medieval town that is a UNESCO World Heritage Site. Crete, the largest of all Greek islands, is a popular holiday destination amongst Europeans. It boasts 1,000 kilometers of coastline, featuring beautiful coves and peninsulas.

Many Greek operators off er three-day and week-long island tours. And an important note about the cruise ships: they’re mainly a means of transporta-tion, and while adequate, they are by no means upscale. I was able to try some wonderful restaurants. Be sure to order moussaka, a traditional dish of eggplant, ground lamb, tomatoes, onions, olive oil and white wine mixed with kefalotiri cheese. End your meal with a shot of ouzo. Opa! zKaren Bukowicki, International Travel Coun-sellor at AMA Travel, For more information on this and other vacation destinations, visit AMA Travel, email AMATravel.ca or call 1-866-667-4777.

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Fabulous@50 – In the KnowWhen did I get to be so smart? I thought I knew it all in my 20s. In my 30s I was starting to seriously doubt myself, and by the time I made it to my fourth decade I had walked away from everything familiar and began again. So much for having all of the answers. I started my 50th year by finishing my first book, Any Color but Beige: Living Life in Color. And since then, I’ve learned a lot about myself and life in the process. I now approach each day with a sense of gratitude for things that my younger self once took for granted. And, finally, as Canadian comedic actress, Marie Dressler once said: “By the time we hit 50, we have learned our hardest les-sons. We have found out that only a few things are really important. We have learned to take life seriously, but never ourselves.” zCatherine Larose is the author of the Café Girl Chronicles blog, www.cafegirlchronicles.wordpress.com. When Cat is not traveling the world for her job as a color marketer, she enjoys life in Montreal, Canada. Any Color but Beige is her first book, and she is busy working on a second.

Here are a few lessons from a Fabulous@50 woman

l I’m a lot more resource-ful than I think.

l It’s okay to ask for help.

l I love my own company.

l Men come and men go, but girlfriends are forever.

l I don’t want to be 25 again – no matter how great my body looked.

l I have more confidence now than I did at 35.

l I love and appreciate my healthy body.

l I feel sexier now than I did at 45 – it’s all in the mind.

l I live more and fear less.

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A big change looms on your hori-zon – one that is guaranteed to throw you right out of your cushiony comfort zone! Let’s imagine you’ve been dating this same person for awhile and are having such fun. The chemistry is great, plus the more time you spend together, the more compatible you seem to be. Thoughts of a permanent arrangement fl it through your mind. You both start having conversations about what it would be like to live together.

When I hit this crossroad, I’d been on my own for fi ve years. A good friend had helped me fi nd a cheerful and airy new apartment close to downtown with just the right amount of space. It became my haven and my refuge – a place where I could breathe, heal and start over.

FEElING AT HOME

Inside my apartment, I gradually re-placed my old make-do furniture with new pieces that were just right for me. When I ventured out, I explored my community and learned the best routes to friends and favorite stores.

Eventually I began to feel at home and even learned to enjoy living alone.

Six months before we met, my sweet-heart bought a townhouse in the west end. It was just the right size for him and furnished in a classy, minimalist fashion.

Both of us got tired of the long drive to each other’s places, so toward the end of my yearly lease, I started looking for a place closer to his. That was when he posed the hypothetical question of me moving in with him. That started a lengthy and ongoing conversation.

When you both feel the urge to share a residence, it’s important to talk about all aspects of this idea. The chances are high that this big change in your life will push all your hot buttons.

Whose place – yours, his, or do you search for an ‘ours’? If you choose yours or his, one person might feel like the in-vader, the other could feel invaded – at least for a time. Each of us is protective of our own space and possessive of our own things.

My own possessiveness was never more apparent than when I had to de-cide what to move and what to dispose of. Strange as it may sound, it felt as if I would disappear once most of my stuff disappeared.

His Castle, your Castle, or Our Castle?

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Startled by my rollercoaster emotional state, my mate bent over backwards to make things good for me – even to offering to dispose of his expensive leather furniture and re-build the living room decor around my loveseat and chair. Some soul-searching and heartfelt conversations with girlfriends stabilized my emotions and helped me keep things in perspective. (We kept his nicer furniture.)

There were many more conversations throughout that period – about meals, shop-ping, household chores, time with family – the list was a lengthy one. Most important on the list was a frank discussion of finances.

TAlK IT OUT

Of course, it’s better to have some of those crucial discussions long before the actual move, in case you hit a challenge or a point of view that there’s no way around. Whatever snag you hit, talk it out. If the goal is to make life better together than the life you had as single people, then it’s important to reach consensus on as many issues as possible. Also be aware that there will be some grieving for your old singlehood.

Thinking back, it took me about a year to feel at home in my new home. Although it tossed both my partner and me out of our respective comfort zones for a time, we got through it by continually talking about any issues and by both exercising our flexibility and adaptability. Now we’ve created bigger and better comfort zones in our togetherness. How sweet life is as we plan our future side by side! z

SUE PAULSON Personal Growth FacilitatorSue’s speaking career started as a personal growth facilitator. Through workshops, she

taught meditation, self-awareness, strategies for building self-esteem and ways to build strong relationships with others. 780-934-8444 • [email protected] • www.encounterskills.com

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Specializing in event marketing• postcards • brochures • signage •

magazines • newsletters

www.creativeonthemove.comMOlly MAID

FaB Books!

The new must-have game about Canada’s baby boomers plus those older. Based on nationwide re-search, it’s chock-full of intriguing information about those between 47 and 77 years of age. Available at: Notables, Edmonton or www.aboutusgames.ca

about Us Boomer+edition:

ava’s Guide to Garage Sale Gold by Ava Seavey

Dietitians of Canada COOk! is a brand new Canadian classic with a dazzling collection of 275 satisfying recipes, 32 mouth-water-ing food photographs, nutrition tips and practical family cooking lessons. Available at: www.robertrose.ca

This informative guide will teach you everything you will ever need to know to make the most amount of money having your own garage sale and have fun at the same time. www.garagesalegold.com

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I remember when I first encountered the term “used cars”. Then I started hearing about “pre-owned” cars. Before I knew it, my upscale neighbor in the McMansion was driving a “luxury pre-owned vehicle” and boasting about the great deal he got. What was the world coming to? Were pre owned or “gently used” household items also going to be coming into vogue?

I’ve sold tens of thousands of dollars worth of items at flea markets, rum-mage sales, garage sales, tag sales, and estate sales for many years now. I have also, since the great recession, seen the types of shoppers at these sales shift dramatically. Every demographic profile

shops at garage sales now, from dealers and collectors, to day-trippers, to people who are buying necessities because they just can’t afford retail. It now seems quite mainstream to shop at and host garage sales. And so, it would appear, that previously owned items, much like cars, have become not just acceptable, but downright popular and desirable.

So a bad economy is a great time to capitalize on that popularity by having your own garage sale. If you think you have nothing to sell at a garage sale, think again. All you have to do is go through your home room by room to see all the items that you no longer use or want.

Making the Most out of a Garage Sale

Make Money, Recycle, De-Clutter, Have Fun!

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The quick tips below are my golden rules for garage sale success.

1. Have clear, simple signs. They should be doubled sided and contain two things – an arrow in the direction of the sale and the day and time of the sale. Period. Write in waterproof ink or buy pre done signs.

2. Take out an ad in your local paper in the yard sale section. You can also advertise for free online on garage sale sites like garagesalestracker.com, yardsalesearch.com, and garage-salehunter.com. More people will come from an ad than a sign!

3. Everything must be tagged. Be a cashier at your sale, not a negotiator.

Many people are too shy to ask how much something is and, contrary to popular belief, most people are not hagglers.

4. Put all small items on covered tables. Use shower curtains, sheets, fabric, I don’t care, just cover the tables and you’ll get more for your items.

5. The most powerful words at your sale: NO and FREE. Don’t be afraid to turn down an off er. Many times the person will buy the item

anyway. Off er free items with purchases, or buy two get one free. So, go have that sale! De-clutter, recycle, have fun, make money! z

Ava Seavey can be reached [email protected], or garagesalegold.com.

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{continued on page 28}

Common sense tells us that sex is exercise. By the time you’ve finished you’re (both) hot, sweaty, exhausted, and sometimes you get those day-after muscle pains that make you wonder… then with a flirty flush awareness, you remember. Researchers around the globe have published numerous reports on the health benefits of sex showing that it decreases stress, boosts the im-mune system, burns calories, produces good endorphins, and promotes better sleep. So how does sexercise work and how can I make it work for me?

Sex isn’t just fun, it’s good for your body too! The act of increasing your heart-rate and exerting energy can lower blood pressure and chances of a heart-attack. This can mean less stress and a happier state of being. Sex also releases happy hormones called endorphins that stimu-late cells in the immune system, which appears to help ward off cancer, dimin-ish wrinkles, and increase your ability to fight infections.

There’s been recent evidence suggest-ing that men who ejaculate frequently

(5+ times per week) can experience a reduced risk from prostate cancer. And for women, intercourse and vibrators help keep the vaginal tissues supple. For both sexes, the simple action “use it or lose it” holds true.

Here’s some calorie counting info for you to think about: *Calorie count esti-mation based on range of results from multiple websites.

Personally, though I also exercise, I find sexercise more appealing.

SExERCISE

Y kissing 60-70 per hr

Y Sex 80-150 per hr

Y Oral 80-120 per half hr

Y Intimate Dancing 80 – 130 per hr

ExERCISE

Y Punching Bag 200-250 per half hr

Y Rowing 100-120 per half hr

Y Jogging 200-300 per half hr

Y Yoga 70-95 per half hr

Why going to the bed-room may be healthier than going to the gym

exercise vs SExERCISE

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Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 25 Celebrating the baby boomer woman • 25

Making small gradual changes in your meals makes it easier to experiment and embrace new and uncommon foods.

Have you tried bulgur or quinoa? If not, you may be surprised about what you’re missing!

Bulgur has a tender, chewy texture and is made from wheat berries that have been steamed, dried and crushed. High in vitamins and protein, it’s super easy to prepare and may be found in the bulk section or the natural food section of your grocery store. It’s often available in fi ne or course textures.

Quinoa (pronounced keen-wah) is a grain with a subtle fl avour and chewy texture. It is prepared in the same way as rice but provides a nutritious alterna-tive and is known to be/have a protein quality at least equal to milk. Try quinoa as a substitute for rice in your next pilaf.

For long term storage and to prevent rancidity, store grains in an airtight con-tainer or heavy zip-loc plastic bag. Keep it in a cool place for up to 3 months or in your refrigerator for 6 to 8 months.

Take the mystery out of these grains by using them in a well-tested recipe. To get started, try Quinoa with Almonds and Dried Blueberries or Bulgar Salad with Feta and Grapes.

QUINOA WITH ALMONDS AND DRIED BLUEBERRIES2 cups (500 mL) water

3 tbsp (40 mL) fresh orange juice

1/2 tsp (2 mL) salt

1 cup (250 mL) quinoa, thoroughly rinsed and drained

1/2 cup (125 mL) slivered or sliced almonds, toasted

1/4 cup (50 mL) dried blueberries

2 tbsp (25 mL) chopped fresh parsley

1 tbsp (15 mL) grated orange peel

1 tbsp (15 mL) fresh lemon juice Combine water, orange juice and salt in a medium saucepan. Bring to a boil over medium heat. Stir in quinoa and return to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, for 15 – 20 minutes or until liquid is absorbed and quinoa is tender. Remove from heat. Fluff quinoa with a fork. Stir in almonds, blueberries, parsley, orange peel and lemon juice. Serve im-mediately. Serves 4 – 6.

Cook’s Note: The outer hull of quinoa contains a bitter resin called saponin. Quinoa must be rinsed thoroughly before cooking in order to remove this bitter coating.

For more barbecue recipes from ATCO Blue Flame Kitchen, check out the website at atcobluefl amekitchen.com.

Going with the

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In Part 1, I reviewed a few contributing factors to weight gain: stress, unresolved emotions, and hormonal imbalances. The final three areas I want to touch on are food sensitivities, envi-ronmental “obesogens” (endocrine disrupting environmental chemicals), and how to incorporate a whole foods diet as part of your healthy lifestyle.

Many people complain of digestive problems such as bloat-ing, constipation, indigestion, and gas. These symptoms can result from eating foods we are sensitive to. The top three food sensitivities I see are gluten, dairy, and eggs. Food sensitivities are very different than allergies. What you eat on Monday may not cause symptoms until Friday, making it very difficult to determine the cause. Going on a com-prehensive elimination diet for 4-6 weeks will identify any hidden food sensitivities. Once the foods have been elimi-nated 100% for a minimum of 21 days, your inflammation pathways calm down. When you try to reintroduce the food, the reaction is much more pronounced.

ElIMINATION DIET

By going on an elimination diet, many people lose weight, experience a significant increase in energy and mental clar-ity, as well as finding that most of their physical symptoms have drastically decreased, if not completely resolved. I would say 99 per cent of all people I work with find they can’t add gluten back into their diets. If you just eliminated gluten, you’ve most likely addressed your top food sensitiv-ity. One important point to make is that your only symptom of food sensitivities may be fatigue; it doesn’t always affect the digestive system.

OBESOGENS

OBESOGENS are just beginning to be recognized by our medical system. Scientists are discovering that obesity has less to do with calories consumed and more to do with our toxic load. Those that specialize in environmental and inte-grative medicine have known about the effects of obeso-gens for literally decades!

Achieving your Ideal weight:

a Holistic Journey Part 2

“when diet is wrong,

medicine is of no use

when diet is correct, medicine is of no need”

-Ancient Ayurvedic

Proverb

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Obesogens are “endocrine disrupting environmental chemicals”. They are present in plastics, non-stick cookware, canned foods, tap water, vinyl products (including flooring), air fresheners, and all foods contaminated with pesticides, fertilizers, and fungicides. One of the most prevalent sources of obesogens is HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP (HFCS). HCFS is in most premade and processed foods. Corn crops are heavily sprayed with Atrazine, a well know obesogen. If you’re not already reading food labels, now is the time to start.

REvERSE OSMOSIS SySTEM

One of your first steps to wellness could be having a reverse osmosis system installed in your home to provide high quality drinking water. You can then purchase some stainless steel water containers so you can take your water with you wherever you go. Just by

taking this one step you’ve eliminated two of the top sources of Obesogens; tap water and plastic water bottles, not to mention reducing your environmen-tal footprint!

A whole foods diet involves eliminat-ing processed foods, preservatives, and artificial sweeteners. Whole foods means eating foods in their natural state and buying organic whenever you can. Rather than buying canned fruit and vegetables that are processed and tend to be high in sugar and salt, buy fresh or frozen produce.

Meats should be free range and prefer-ably organic if you can afford it.

A chicken breast should only have chicken breast as the ingredient, not 15 other ingredients. We can only be as healthy as the food we eat. If we are eating a chicken that never left it’s cage, has never been out in the sun, is fed an-tibiotics to prevent infections from living in unsanitary conditions, and given feed that contains chemicals and hormones to make it grow faster, how healthy is that chicken?

What effects will this have on your health? These are not pleasant things to have to think about, but we unfortu-nately live in an era where we need to be asking these questions.

Food can be our medicine or our poi-son! Make healthy choices and take the time to invest in your health. It will be the best investment you’ve ever made, with guaranteed returns. zLive Well, Reneigh

{A whole foods diet involves eliminating processed foods, preservatives, and artificial sweeteners. Whole foods means eating foods in

their natural stage.

RENEIGH PICKYNYK Conquest Integrative Health ServicesReneigh is a RN offering consulting services for BHRT and functional/integrative medicine. www.reneigh.com

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{Sexercise• from page 24}

{Grains• from page 24}

lOOKS & ATTITUDE

Sexercising makes you healthier and happier and positively affects your attitude and the way you look.

Assuming you’re also leading an active lifestyle and consuming a healthy diet, there’s no reason why you can’t expect to notice your skin start to look better, that your hair looks shinier or that you carry an overall positive energy towards life.

Being healthy and active makes you a better employee, a better friend and a better partner because it makes you a better you! Significant studies show that people who are in good long-term relationships, including sexual, tend to live longer and healthier lives.

Good sex is about more than penetra-tion and involves touch, connection and communication. Sex stimulates the brain and raises self-esteem. Simply sharing an intimate moment with your partner can have a calming affect on

the mind, and you’ll develop a glow that makes those around you smile. You secretly know why…they may too!

HOw TO HAvE HEAlTHIER SEx

There are tons of ways for you to bring sexercise into the bedroom. Kissing and touching are great ways to burn calories. Sensual massages relax the body and strengthen intimate bonds. Switching positions allows you to target multiple muscle groups. Though you may no longer be an A+ acrobat in the bedroom, you can still be creative, innovative, and think outside of the box. It doesn’t matter how you do it, it just matters that you’re doing it. It’s certainly an easier commute than the gym and you don’t need a membership! zDr. Dorree Lynn, PhD, is a psychologist and life coach in Washington, DC and author of Sex for Grownups: Dr. Dorree Reveals the Truths, Lies, and Must-Tries for Great Sex After 50. She is AARP’s Media “Sexpert” and has been featured on ABC, MSNBC, CNN, Fox News & VH1. www.DrDorreeLynn.com

BULGUR SALAD WITH FETA AND GRAPES3/4 cup (175 mL) fine bulgur 1 cup (250 mL) boiling water 1/4 cup (50 mL) fresh lemon juice 1 tbsp (15 mL) olive oil 2 tsp (10 mL) grated lemon peel 1/2 tsp (2 mL) salt 1/4 tsp (1 mL) freshly ground pepper 1 cup (250 mL) cubed feta cheese1 cup (250 mL) halved seedless red grapes1 cup (250 mL) coarsely chopped toasted pecans

1/3 cup (75 mL) thinly sliced green onions

Place bulgur in a bowl. Stir in boiling water. Cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let stand until water is absorbed and bulgur is tender, about 20 minutes. Stir in lemon juice, oil, lemon peel, salt and pepper. Add cheese, grapes, pecans and green onions; stir to combine. Serves 2 – 3. z

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Do you have an event that would benefi t our baby boomer demographic, e: [email protected] *all requests will be reviewed

Edmonton Folk Fest: August 4 - 7The global stars of blues, Celtic, bluegrass, gospel & world music come together for fi ve days where a hillside serves as a natural amphitheatre. www.edmontonfolkfest.org

Cariwest Festival: August 5 - 7 August 5 - Friday Night “Costume Extravaganza” 7:30 pm at the Shaw Conference Centre. Masqueraders from each band will compete for the title of King, Queen, Junior King and Queen and best individual costume of the festival. www.cariwestfestival.com

International Fringe Theatre Festival: August 11 - 21Edmonton’s International Fringe Festival attracts playgoers and performers from across Canada and the world. www.fringetheatre.ca

Edmonton Dragon Boat Festival: August 19 - 21Dragon Boat racing & multicultural celebration for fun, sport & recreation to showcase Asian culture & promote multicultur-alism. www.edmontondragonboatfestival.com

Edmonton labatts Blues Festival: August 19 - 21Western Canada’s Premier Blues Event, in Edmonton’s scenic River Valley. www.bluesinternationalltd.com

Symphony Under the Sky: September 2 - 5The summer festival season ends on a suspended high note with your Edmonton Symphony Orchestra fi lling the river valley skies with the sound of music. www.edmontonsymphony.com

Kaleido Family Arts Festival: 118th aveSeptember 9 - 11The sixth edition of the family arts festival, featuring over 200 performers and artists! www.artsontheave.org/festivals/kaleido-2011

The Edmonton International Film Festival: September 23 - October 1Come celebrate the Edmonton International Film Festival for nine wonderful days and nights. www.edmontonfi lmfest.com

June 09/2011 ywCA wOMEN OF DISTINCTION Dianna Bowes, founder of Fabulous at 50 and editor of Be Fabulous! wins the “Turning Point Category. Chemist Dr. Margaret-Ann Armour won the Lois E. Hole Award for Lifetime Achievement.

SAvE THE DATENovember 05/2011 FABUlOUS@50 ExPERIENCE & MARTINI PARTy Celebrating baby boomers women, with products and services specifi cally geared to them. Featuring a martini bar, a makeover contest, gifts, motiva-tional speakers, and over 75 exhibitors.

www.fabulousat50.com

Life is Sweet!

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MaRketPlaCe

FAN FEEDBACKWhat is your favourite

summer vacation?

l Jolene: “Okanagan...wine tasting, being at the lake, its my favorite!”

l Sheila: “Nakusp, BC.. Great little town in the kootenays! ”

l Kim: “ ... the mountains.”

l Crystal: “ Camping. Anywhere! With my family”

l Laura: “ Hanging out at our cottage in Northern Ontario”

l Cherie: “ hawaii...hawaii....hawaii...”

l Diana: “ Slave Lake”

l Adrianne: ” locally, my cabin at the lake. But for a getaway- Kimberley BC”

l Charmaine: ”...at the lake in Plamondon or California”

mollymaid.ca

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would you like to SKyROCKET yOUR BUSINESS by doing what women do best... build relation-ships? exhibit at the Fabulous@50 Experience and market your business to fabulous women aged 40 - 60 years. If you are involved in one trade show this year, this is the one it should be. Sponsorship opportunities are still available! apply @ www.fabulousat50.com

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be fabulous! august - sept 2011

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