The Complete Teenage Human Guide

to Becoming a Better Leader

Becoming a Person of Influence

Leadership

is…

INFLUENCE

INF

LU

EN

CE

LE

AD

ER

SH

IP

The GOAL is to increase INFLUENCE

Becoming a Person of Influence Leadership is influence The true measure of leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. When a real leader speaks, people listen. The person in any given group that has the most influence at any given time for any given reason is the leader of that group. So what is the goal, the objective? To increase our influence (increasing influence will mean increasing leadership. Goal today is to 1. Understand what leadership is 2. Help you increase your level of influence with others

“Leadership is Influence, nothing more, nothing less”

If you understand it better and we can help increase it for you, then you will become a better leader Influence inventory: 1. Who do I influence? Principle: As a leader I attract who I am, not who I want. Whoever I influence is the person I will attract. Quickly note down the top 3 characteristic you want from a person you lead (classroom, sports field, planning committee, band). They will all be different so don’t worry about what your mate’s writing down. Do you possess those characteristics? Remember, you attract who you are, not who you want. (hard working? On time? Happy? Someone that gets along with people). Birds of a feather flock together. Who do I influence? It’s like looking n a mirror. The people you mostly influence are the people that are most like you.

Have a think…. 1. Do you influence leaders or followers? 2. Do you influence thinkers or doers? 3. Do you influence big picture people or small

thinkers? 4. Do you influence that are self centred or other

centred? 5. Do you influence positive or negative people? 6. Do you influence insecure or secure people? 7. Do you influence successful or unsuccessful

people? 8. Do you influence people who are casual about life

or passionate people? 9. Do you influence givers or takers? 10. Do you influence eagles or turkeys?

Remember who you are determines who you influence.

2. How do I influence others? Principle: How I influence people will determine how many, how long and how effectively I influence them Methods of influence from worst to best: 1. Force - there is just no choice 2. Intimidation – “My way or the high way” 3. Manipulation – there’s a winner and a loser

(someone loses out) 4. Positional influence – We follow because we

“have to” (I am the boss) 5. Exchange – we both win something 6. Persuasion – we follow people because we want to

(persuasion comes from the word “through sweetness”

7. Respect – we follow because of the request and respect for the influencer (highest level – that’s what you want to reach for)

“Who you are determines who you influence”

3. How many do I influence? Principle As a leader, the number of people who follow is based on my level of influence. Everyone influences someone. But there are few people that influence a lot of people. The better you become at this influence thing, the more people you will lead. Have you heard people say “they won’t listen to me because I’m not the leader?” No, you are not the leader, because they won’t listen to you. Leadership is influence and when a true leader speaks, people listen. Difference between your leadership potential (what you could be) and your leadership level is determined by 1. Your influence 2. Our willingness to change 3. Our desire to grow We all have a leadership level, but higher than that you have a leadership potential.

4. When do I influence others? Principle: Our value and significance rises when we influence There are moments in your life that will come and define your leadership. Will you be ready? Will you be prepared? Trained or untrained? Leaders know timing: when to say what. Whether it is time to tell someone to pull their head in or maybe to pull them aside and ask them how you can help them with their problem, it all comes down to timing. t People usually only change when a few things happen: • They hurt enough that they have to change • Learn enough that they want to change • They receive enough that they can change

“Leadership is influence and when a true leader speaks, people listen”

5. Why do I influence others? Principle: Why you do something will ultimately determine what you do it. Motives – why do you want to leader? Is it because you want to be up font and tell people what to do? Be the boss? What are your motives for wanting to influence and lead people? Right motives are really important to people because leadership functions on the foundation of trust. What is your motive for wanting to lead. Continual wrong motives are a result of bad character. Exercise: Write down 10 reasons for why you want to lead. Remember, leadership is all about serving others. If more than half of those reasons are self-serving, you might want to revise your motives for wanting to be a leader.

“Leadership is influence and when a true leader speaks, people listen”

6. Where do I influence others? Too often people feel like they cannot influence others because they do not have a title or position. Remember, the position doesn’t make the leader, the leader makes the position. Here are 5 Myths about Leadership: 1. If I am not at the top, I can’t lead 2. When I get to the top, then I will learn to lead 3. If I were on the top, then everyone will follow me

(if people won’t follow you now they won’t follow you then

4. When I get to the top I will be able to do anything (when you get to the top you have to practice servant leadership.

5. The higher you move up in leadership the more rights disappear and the more responsibilities appear.

“Hey, I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it yet, but…..”

“Leadership is

INFLUENCE,

nothing more, nothing less”

Another couple of things to think about…..

I read that the average person tries to influence 4 people a day. That’s even quite low

(for teachers & parents) If I get better at influencing others I can start to lead more effectively a) Our influence with others is usually not in all areas. No one is all influential. ( I have influence with property, personal development, leadership training – computers, none) b) With influence comes responsibility. Too many leaders want the perks of leadership, without paying the price (Prefect at school. I was a bad example – it’s going to cost you something to be a great leader) c) My influence with others is either positive or negative. You already have influence – the question is, is it positive or negative? Helping people or hurting people? d) My influence can grow – from where I am to where I want to be The goal of this session is to help you understand influence and to help increase your influence with others e) People with positive influence add value to others. Jackie Robinson “a life isn’t significant except for its influence on our lives” (my mission is to add value to people)

Finally…. Leadership is about ADDING VALUE to others We truly add value to people:

1. When we value people

2. When we know and relate what they value

3. When we make ourselves more valuable if I stop

growing/learning, I stop adding value (who

follows people that refuses to grow and learn?

People that say the same thing they said 2 years

ago)

4. When we do the things that God values (These are

the things that have eternal significance)

“With influence comes responsibility. Too many leaders want the perks of leadership, without paying the price”

“Remember, the better you become at this influence thing, the more people you will lead”

“Never, ever, ever, ever, ever give up” - Winston Churchhill