“Being Happy”

CPTE 433

John Beckett

Rules for Being Happy

• Follow Through• Manage Time• Set Goals• Plan Daily• Touch All Paper Once• Stay Focused• Precompile Decisions• Find Free Time• Deal With People Who Lack Time Management

Skills• Deal With Slow Bureaucrats

Communication Skills

• My Problems• Your Problems• Our Problems• Other People’s Problems

Active Listening

• Mirror– Like a CRC on a communication protocol –

verifies receipt.– “Let me make sure I understand the problem:

When you attempt to go to web site x, you receive a DNS error message.”

• Don’t trust your ears alone - verify• Standardize on critical phrases and terms

– Beware of the word “take” – Substitute “your action”…”computer response”

• Summarize

Professional Development

• Spare equipment is a good place to develop your skills.

• Southern has institutionalized “pro growth”– Target at budget-cutting time

• Go to meetings– Expect some of the “Best Stuff” to be in the

hallways and casual conversations.– Ask good questions in sessions.

• Give presentations

Stay Technical

• Do you really want to be a manager?• Yes – learn how to be a good one.

Get an MBA. – Preferably in residence so you’ll rub

shoulders with other managers• No – be an excellent tech, respect

managers and make their work easy.• Expect some managementrivia to

come your way. Handle with humor and completeness.

Negotiate

• Management is about agreements, not scientific truth. – M: Here’s what we agreed, and this is what I did– S: We learned more, and that opened up more

questions• State what you can do.• Deliver what you state if you are accepted.

– Not “We can’t do that.”– But “That will require x and y.”

• Never tell a person that they do what you don’t want them to do.– “You always do the stupid thing”

Watch For Power Shifts

• See p799

Consider your BATNA

• Best• Alternative• To• No• Agreement• Your power is directly proportional to the

strength of your BATNA.• Case: “Kid, I’m telling you for the last time!

…”– Kid thinks: “OK, I don’t have to listen to this rant

any more.”

Asking For Money

• Never ask for less than you hope for – it isn’t their job to increase your offer!

• After you’ve asked, wait for a response. – If you start babbling they will sense a

weakness in your case.• Know where the money is coming

from.– What is really the “engine” that creates

profit or supports our ministry?

Consider Silence

• Did they present you with an unacceptable idea?

• Silence lets them consider whether you might go for it or not.

• “Is that the best you can do?”• “Is that point negotiable?”

Why Do People Work?

• Interested in the technical challenges• Enjoy being with other people

– Speaks to the issue of telecommuting and international out-sourcing

– Question about office efficiency• Need the money• Enjoy power over what happens

– “I like the action”

Good Boss/Bad Boss

• A bad job with a good boss is better than a great job with a bad boss.

• In this case you’re defining “good” and “bad”.

• So make up your mind and move forward.

• If you’re the boss, be a good one!

Support Structure

• Family – might want to stay with family issues.

• Co-workers – respect their time.• Be careful what you reveal to those

who shouldn’t know it.• Protect people who confide in you.

– Even if they shouldn’t have given you the info

– “I don’t know everything I’ve heard”

Balance• The Sabbath shouldn’t be filled with stuff exactly like your

vocation, except that it is religious.• If your work involves duties on the Sabbath, set aside other

time as a secular “Sabbath” for your own renewal. Get outside!• Don’t neglect your relationship with God – give him your best

time, not your leftover time.– Turn the TV off ½ hour before bed-time– Commune with God before your day begins

Managing Your Manager• For every problem you present, try to

present a do-able solution– Do your research so the boss doesn’t

have to send you back for more info.– Learn the type of info your boss wants

to know.– Back up that solution with action if it is

chosen.• Reduce the interrupts to your

manager– If you want something, have an example

in mind that you’d consider acceptable.

Visionaries & ”Hallucionaries”

• Say that you want to demonstrate what they asked about.

• Make pilots clearly separate from projects.

• Prepare well enough so that you look like the one who succeeded, not the guy who had a lot of problems.

Read About This StuffThere are lots of

books. My favorite is by Bernstein:

It’s about the different kinds of people you’ll find at work, how each contributes to corporate success, and how to cope with them

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Maslov’s Pyramid

Source: Wikipedia

The Truth About Maslov

• This describes how psychology is viewed by post-modern philosophy, not Christian philosophy.– Maslov stated that few reach the highest level– It is used as a tool-kit for manipulating people

• Watch any situation comedy:– You are being programmed to accept this hierarchy!

• It is the basis for justifying non-Christian behavior including torture

• People who contribute to society generally place “self actualization” at a more fundamental level. Consider:– Corrie Ten Boom, Martin Luther, Mother Teresa– The hero of any action movie based on a plausible story

How to be Really Happy

• Connect with God, the source of true happiness

• Serve the people around you• Obtain happiness from being able to

contribute– Appreciation you receive is a bonus

• Don’t forget to give others their “bonus!”– It isn’t just about getting ahead– It’s part of your calling