Benchmark 2

combine

• The sleet was heavy. We could not go horseback riding.

• Because the sleet was heavy, we could not go horseback riding.

• These twins are often together in stories, however, these stories are, predictably about revenge.

• However shows contrast and is therefore the wrong choice.

• What other words show contrast?

• What would be a better choice?

• The twins are often together in stories, and these stories are predictably about revenge

• The delicate cut of the bridesmaid’s dresses was/were very pretty.

• cut = was

• Topic Sentence vs. supporting details.

• Do not use passive voice.

• ex. The apples were eaten by them.

• vs. They ate the apples.

• Topic Sentence= Apollo, another child Zeus and Hera, ruled the sun, music, and medicine.

• Lots = Dozens

• “Lots of stories that are still told to about the Greek deities relate to/are with Zeus and Hera fighting.

• Consistent Point of View

• I vs. She

• The cat chased its tail.

• It’s a rainy day.

• The student wants to know what they (he/ she) are to do.

• The army of ants was/were slowly but surely hauling away the pile of corn.

• The new manager is educated, but her experience qualifies her.

• The army of men was/were under attack.

• The army was under attack.

• The men were under attack.

• My family is/are not normal.

Combine/fix run on

• The rain was pouring, we could not go hiking.

• Because the rain was pouring, we could not go hiking.

Combine/fix run on

• The rain was pouring, we went hiking.

• Although the rain was pouring, we went hiking.

• He was said to be the most violent of the ancient deities, and most ancient Greeks didn’t pay him too much attention.

• The soldiers always paid him honor before a battle.

• He was said to be the most violent of the ancient deities, and most ancient Greeks didn’t pay him too much attention, excetp for the soldiers, who always paid him honor before a battle.

• She is considered the goddess of wisdom; besides, Athena ruled handicrafts such as weaving.

• Besides does not connect the sentences.

• in addition• instead• finally• since

• Zeus is the father of many of the other gods and goddesses. His wife, Hera, is the mother of many other gods and goddesses.

• Zeus and Hera, his wife, were the parents of many of the other gods and goddesses.

• Pysche paid a high price for her beauty when Aphrodite became jealous of her. Aphrodite wasn’t entirely cruel

• Pysche paid a high price for her beauty when Aphrodite became jealous of her, but Aphrodite wasn’t entirely cruel

Consistent 3rd person p.o.v.

a. If he got angry, though, he was in trouble

b. If he got angry, thought, I was in trouble.

c. If he got angry, though, we were in trouble.

d. If he got angry, thought, mortals were in trouble.

Thesis vs. topic sentence

Conclusion sentence.

• A general summary, not another detail.

• Do not add any information that wasn’t already mentioned.

• Frank and Tracy Kane were the first settlers in what is now Ohio. They were both kind teachers.

• Frank and Tracy Kane, kind teachers, were the first settlers in what is now Ohio.

• The lines reached the back of the store. I was able to finish my holiday shopping before dinnertime.

• Although the lines reached the back of the store, I was able to finish my holiday shopping before dinnertime.

Colony

• Think of all the possible definitions

Combine

• The bride shoved the cake in the groom’s face.

• The bride laughed so hard she choked.

• After shoving the cake in the groom’s face, the bride laughed so hard she choked.

• Fourteen years ago, my mother met my father. They were both going to college.

• Fourteen years ago, when they were both going to college, my mother met my father.

• Ex.

• The cat chased it’s tail around in a circle.

• The cat chased its tail around in a circle.

• The student wants to know what they are to do.

• The students want to know what they are to do.

• The student wants to know what he/she is to do.

• Which sentence best emphasizes the beauty of the rose garden?

• The rose garden was full of roses in bloom, brightly colored, and smelled amazing, so I had to take my mother there.

• The garden- full of blooming, brightly colored, amazing-smelling roses-was a must see for my mother.

• My mother was taken to the rose garden, to see the blooming roses that were amazing smelling

• The garden-full of blooming, brightly colored, amazing –smelling roses-was a must see for my mother.

• The blue car hit the

the tree at the bottom of the hill.

• Running down the street, I fell and broke my arm.

• Begin a sentence with Walking

combine

• Scientist have placed cameras deep into the ocean. These cameras have lights on them that mimic the lights created by deep sea animals.

• Scientist have placed cameras that are lit like deep sea animals deep in the ocean.

spelling

• bravery,

• reverence,

• geometry

• delicatessen,

• auxiliary

• Valise

• Drive has several meanings