benchmark 2. combine the sleet was heavy. we could not go horseback riding
TRANSCRIPT
• These twins are often together in stories, however, these stories are, predictably about revenge.
• However shows contrast and is therefore the wrong choice.
• What other words show contrast?
• What would be a better choice?
• Topic Sentence vs. supporting details.
• Do not use passive voice.
• ex. The apples were eaten by them.
• vs. They ate the apples.
• “Lots of stories that are still told to about the Greek deities relate to/are with Zeus and Hera fighting.
• He was said to be the most violent of the ancient deities, and most ancient Greeks didn’t pay him too much attention.
• The soldiers always paid him honor before a battle.
• He was said to be the most violent of the ancient deities, and most ancient Greeks didn’t pay him too much attention, excetp for the soldiers, who always paid him honor before a battle.
• She is considered the goddess of wisdom; besides, Athena ruled handicrafts such as weaving.
• Besides does not connect the sentences.
• in addition• instead• finally• since
• Zeus is the father of many of the other gods and goddesses. His wife, Hera, is the mother of many other gods and goddesses.
• Pysche paid a high price for her beauty when Aphrodite became jealous of her. Aphrodite wasn’t entirely cruel
• Pysche paid a high price for her beauty when Aphrodite became jealous of her, but Aphrodite wasn’t entirely cruel
Consistent 3rd person p.o.v.
a. If he got angry, though, he was in trouble
b. If he got angry, thought, I was in trouble.
c. If he got angry, though, we were in trouble.
d. If he got angry, thought, mortals were in trouble.
Conclusion sentence.
• A general summary, not another detail.
• Do not add any information that wasn’t already mentioned.
• The lines reached the back of the store. I was able to finish my holiday shopping before dinnertime.
• Although the lines reached the back of the store, I was able to finish my holiday shopping before dinnertime.
• The student wants to know what they are to do.
• The students want to know what they are to do.
• The student wants to know what he/she is to do.
• Which sentence best emphasizes the beauty of the rose garden?
• The rose garden was full of roses in bloom, brightly colored, and smelled amazing, so I had to take my mother there.
• The garden- full of blooming, brightly colored, amazing-smelling roses-was a must see for my mother.
• My mother was taken to the rose garden, to see the blooming roses that were amazing smelling
• The garden-full of blooming, brightly colored, amazing –smelling roses-was a must see for my mother.
combine
• Scientist have placed cameras deep into the ocean. These cameras have lights on them that mimic the lights created by deep sea animals.