BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT

by Myra A. Dorsey

ISBN: 978-1-4685-7408-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-7407-4 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4685-7409-8 (e)

@ 2012 by Myra A.Dorsey. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any

means without the written permission of the author.

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight

Chapter Nine

Chapter Ten

Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Thirteen

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Sixteen

Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Eighteen

Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Twenty

Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-Two

Postlogue ........................................................................................................

1

8

18

28

35

42

53

60

67

72

80

90

96

107

115

119

128

136

146

154

165

173

177

A Kinder Kendall ..............................................

For I Was Hungry .............................................

Meet the Family ................................................

Kick In The Pants .............................................

Down Zion Way ................................................

A Real Date ........................................................

Sea Monkeys ......................................................

Juice ....................................................................

Wheels And Deals ............................................

When The Car’s Away .....................................

Unwilling Volunteers .......................................

Shifting Perspectives .......................................

The Perfect Place .............................................

Juggling Acts ....................................................

The Big Day .......................................................

Protective Custody ..........................................

Sucker Punch ....................................................

How Low Can You Go? ...................................

Daddy’s Wisdom ..............................................

Trials And Tribulations ..................................

Life-Saving Gifts ...............................................

What Comes Around .......................................

Vivian and Calvin Dorsey, the only people I have ever loved unconditionally

For my parents,

Chapter One

A KINDER KENDALL

1

I’m the kind of woman who stands out in a crowd, literally. My best feature has always been

my legs; well-muscled, sensually chocolate, and sexy. I’ve had perfect strangers approach me

in public restrooms just to compliment my legs.

I’d like to claim the credit for them. After all, I’ve spent countless hours throughout my twenties,

and thirties, on the soccer field and volleyball court, toning them to perfection. Not to mention,

the great sacrifices I’ve made foregoing supersized fries, extra cheesy pasta, and decadent triple-

layer fudge cake. But, the real credit goes to my parents. Without them, nothing would have been

possible.

I wasn’t prideful about my legs. That would be sinful; rather they were my source of confidence.

They helped define me as me. When I walked down a hall, the stares I got made me feel like a pow-

erful, beautiful, woman. As that person, I was smart and self-assured. I could do anything I set my

mind to, and I usually did. Little did I know a single, misguided decision was just about to cost me

those perfect legs and a hell of a lot more, not once, but twice.

I always wanted to be well-established before I settled down and started a family. About five

years ago, I realized that I had to make a change if I wanted that dream to come true. I had a good

career in marketing, made plenty of money, owned my own condo, and had two cars, but that one

special person in my life was missing.

I’d dated plenty, but no one ever seemed to measure up.

“Kendall Sweeney, what are you waiting for?” asked my cousin and best-friend, Lola. She

pointed the carrot she had been peeling at me like a conductor’s baton, “Ryan is a smoking

hottie. I would be working that hard. That man is fine husband material.”

“I kind of broke up with him,” I mumbled.

2

Lola snapped the carrot in half. “You didn’t!”

“He started it,” I said unapologetically. I pulled a pot of potatoes off the stove and slammed it on

the counter. “You should have heard the way he laughed at me when I told him I didn’t want him

drinking any more.”

“How much had he had?” asked Lola.

“It was only his second, but we had a long night ahead of us and I didn’t want him getting plas-

tered.”

“Did you bother to mention that before you left the house?”

I scowled. “He’s a grown man. He should have known better. Besides you should have seen the

way he teased me, calling me a teetotaler. So I told him where to go,” I said dumping the potatoes

in a bowl. “How to get there,” I added, squirting mustard at the offending potatoes like a fire hose.

“And that I’d be more than happy to show him the way,” I blazed, slamming globs of mayonnaise

on the mixture.

Lola gently slid the bowl from my grasp. “Mmm hmm,” she said stirring the potato salad.

“Don’t look at me like that! I can finish those,” I said grabbing for the bowl.

“Oh no you don’t.” She cradled it like a baby. “I like whole chunks of potato in my salad, thank

you very much. What did he do when you cussed him?”

“He left with his friends and I caught a cab home. Who needs him, anyway?” I shrugged and

sank down on a counter stool. “Too bad…I really liked him.”

“Kendall, did you ever stop to think, that you could avoid these unfortunate break-ups, if you

were a little…a little more…” she paused, “you know?”

“What?” I dared her.

Lola rolled her eyes. “You need to give people the benefit of the doubt.”

“I don’t trust anyone until they give me a reason to.”

She sighed. “That’s just it, most people trust others until they’re given a reason not to.”

I snorted. “My way has always worked just fine.”

Lola stopped cooking and looked at me. “Be honest. Has it really?”

I grabbed a carrot and munched on it in thought. This wasn’t the first time, family or friends

had pointed out my seemingly fatal flaw. Their voices echoed in my head as I thought back over

the years:

Myra A Dorsey

3

Benefit of the Dought

“Kendall, you’re much too quick to cut people off.”

“Kendall, you need to have a little more compassion.”

“Kendall, why don’t you put the shoe on the other foot and give people a chance?”

I had a quicksilver smile that charmed perfect strangers, but I was equally swift to light into any-

one who dared look at me wrong. In fact, I was the spitting image of Daddy, a natural born curser.

By the time I was old enough to speak, I knew words that peeled paint off walls. Pity to the person

who did me wrong, I turned on them as soon as I looked at them. The epitaphs that spewed from

my mouth, made them wish they were never born. I didn’t just put people in their place; I crushed

them and dared them to leave. No one messed with me and that’s the way I liked it.

“Maybe it’s time to try a new approach,” said Lola. “Be the change you wish to see in the world

and all that good stuff. You’re too smart and pretty not to have the man of your dreams. If I had

your killer legs and Coke bottle waist, I’d work them big time. Heck, I’d set my sights high on

someone like Denzel Washington or better yet that hottie from Criminal Minds, Shemar Moore.”

I laughed and caught a reflection of myself in the mirror. I was petite, not nearly tall enough to

be one of the angular, super-models, with high cheekbones men of that caliber dated. I was more

the all-American, girl next-door, sweetly pretty, shoulder length brown hair, with shining dark

eyes, and a perfect Crest-white smile. More than one man had told me I possessed something ir-

resistible they couldn’t quite put their finger on. But in the end that’s exactly what they all seemed

to want—to put their fingers, hands and other parts on me, and little else. I was sick of that scene.

I wanted a real man. Someone who stepped up to the plate and delivered a total package, uncondi-

tional love, a soulmate and best friend. If he was cute and good in bed, all the better.

That night in bed, I thought hard about what Lola said. I’d been wondering about it a lot lately.

I closed my eyes and scenes from my ugly break-up with Ryan came flooding back to me. I’d really

blown it.

Am I really a horrible person? I wondered. Am I really that selfish? Do I really only care about

myself?

I’d always pictured the perfect relationship with a man being much like my relationship with my

parents. As an only child, I was the center of their universe and they were mine. Everyone knew

the Sweeneys were like the Three Musketeers. We did everything together, couldn’t wait to be in

each other’s company. Sure we had some knock down drag out fights, but our love for each other

4

Myra A Dorsey

was unconditional no matter what.

“God,” I whispered into the quiet, darkness of my room. “Do I really have the capacity to love

somebody unconditionally, the way I love Mama and Daddy?”

I’d had several relationships where I thought I might be in love. But when it came right down

to it, if they were trapped in a burning building, I wouldn’t have gone in after them. That couldn’t

possibly reflect well on me.

“Please help me have a more open heart,” I whispered again. “Let me be more compassionate.

Show me how to give others the benefit of the doubt.”

It wasn’t long after that, that Lola dragged Percy Spencer to my doorstep—or at least the idea of

him. Like a cat with her prized catch, she proudly laid her scheme at my feet. Unlike me, she never

could resist a good charity case.

“Who is this guy exactly?” I asked.

“Just someone who came into The Center. He’s trying to get a job right now and I thought you’d

be perfect for him.”

I arched a brow at her, “Perfect for what?”

She laughed. “To help him sell himself. I thought with you being in marketing and all, who better

to get him ready for his interview?”

“Aha…I don’t do charity work, no thank you.”

“I thought you were going to try to be more compassionate?”

I bit my lip. She had me there. “Are you sure it’s just for work?”

She looked at me innocently. “What else would it be?”

I snorted. Lola was notorious for trying to set me up on dates.

She scowled. “It’s not that kind of meeting, I swear.”

“It better not be.”

“Then you’ll do it?” she grinned.

I nodded. “Fine, I’ll help your loser friend.”

“You’re compassion is astounding,” she said placing a card with the date and time of the meeting

in front of me.

“You knew I’d do this!”

5

Benefit of the Dought

She kissed my cheek. “Contrary to popular belief, Ms. Grinch, I know your heart really isn’t two

sizes too small. Besides, you know you want to, you really, really want to,” she sang as she left.

“He’s probably going to be too cute for his own good,” I grumbled. She knew I was a sucker for

pretty boys. That was something else I was asking God to help with. Pretty boys were nothing but

trouble. I couldn’t help being attracted to those kinds of men, but I figured maybe God could help

me find a happy medium between them and the not-so-cute, blah guys with an extra helping of

boring on the side.

Of course Percy was exactly what I hoped he wouldn’t be; tall, with a rich mocha complexion,

chiseled features, and a smile that could charm killer bees. I picked him out from across the room

at Starbucks. At least Lola’s got good taste, I thought as I walked over to him. “Percy?” I asked.

He held up a hand to silence me, then pointed to the headset, I hadn’t seen in his ear.

Oh no he didn’t, I thought. No one asks for my help, then brushes me off like…I caught myself.

Remember, you’re becoming a kinder, gentler Kendall. Give him a break, you’re five minutes

early.

I smoothed my blouse and motioned to the seat next to Percy.

He nodded and spoke into his headset. “I understand, but that’s not going to be possible. Yes,

I understand. I’ll see what I can do.” He tapped the headset and turned a bright smile on me.

“Sorry about that, I didn’t expect you quite yet. I really appreciate this. Lola says you’re quite the

miracle worker.”

“I don’t know about that, but I do know a few things about marketing.”

“I’m afraid you have your work cut out with me. Can I at least buy you a cup of coffee?”

“Thank you, that would be nice.” I set about spreading a notebook, pens, and folder of interview

tips on the tiny table. He might be good-looking, but I’m not the least attracted to him, I lied to

myself as I arranged my “desk.” I stole a peek at his butt as he waited for my order and inhaled

sharply.

Figures it would have to be nice too, I glowered then folded my hands in front of me and stared

hard at them. Damn Lola! Why was she always putting me in these situations?

“Everything all right?” asked Percy.

I nodded.

“You looked kind of angry with someone just then. I hope it wasn’t me.”

6

Myra A Dorsey

I flashed him one of my famous smiles. “Sorry, you’re fine. It’s nothing.”

He set a cup of coffee in front of me. “Oh, I almost forgot. I didn’t ask how you took it, so I

brought these too.” He dumped several pink, white, and blue packets of sugar and artificial sweet-

ener in front of me, then pulled mini tubs of cream from his pocket.

“Thanks,” I laughed and selected my favorites. “If you don’t mind me asking, why do you need

my help? You look like someone who can take care of himself.”

He laughed. “Looks can be deceiving. I was in the Marines for a decade. From there, I went

straight into a job I had for the last six years. I’ve never interviewed for anything in my life. The

Commander arranged my civilian position.”

“Sounds like you’ve had it cushy.”

“If you call sleeping out in the rain, living in the desert, and answering to a commanding officer

for everything you do cushy.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean your military career, just that you’ve been lucky. Most adults have had to

interview at least once by the time they’re…they’re…whatever you are.”

“Thirty-seven.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m 37. Isn’t that what you wanted to know?”

I felt my cheeks growing warm. “I, no, I was just making an observation.”

“Well, my luck’s run out anyway. I got laid off about five months ago. Haven’t been able to find

anything since. That’s where you come in.”

“I’ll do my best. Let’s start with a resume…”

We talked for almost two hours. By the time we finished, it was dark. He walked me to the park-

ing garage.

“Thanks, this has been very helpful Kendall. I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I took a step back, not sure what to make of him. “No problem, we’ve got a good start. I’m sure

we’ll get a lot more accomplished tomorrow,” I said getting into my car.

“Thanks again,” he wrapped twice on my hood before walking away.

I started the engine and was just about to back out when I caught sight of Percy in my rear view

mirror. He walked back out the street exit. That’s strange, I thought. There were plenty of empty

parking spaces in the lot. I wonder were he parked?

7

Benefit of the Dought

I eased onto the street and drove in Percy’s direction. He’d pulled the collar of his peacoat up

against the brisk, March wind.

I rolled down my window, “Hey, need a ride?”

He looked over his shoulder and kept walking.

“Percy,” I shouted again. “Do you need a ride?”

He stopped and smiled. “Sorry, I didn’t recognize you. Are you sure? You’ve already helped me

so much tonight. I’d hate to take up any more of your time.”

“No problem,” I said popping the passenger side lock. “Hop in.”

“Thanks,” he said folding himself into the seat next to me. “It’s cold out there.”

“Which way?”

“Just head down North, left on Chicago, then I’ll tell you where to turn.”

“So, where’s your car?”

“It’s kind of a long story,” he said giving me a sideways glance.

“We’ve got a few minutes.”

“It needed a lot of work, so it’s been in the shop for awhile. You need to turn right up here.”

“That’s rough.”

“I’m tough. I’ve been through a lot worse than this.”

“Yes, with sleeping out in the rain and training in the deserts and all,” I quipped.

“Are you making fun of me?” he grinned.

“Maybe a little, He-Man.”

“Oh, He-Man? I see how it is,” he chuckled. “Stop up here.”

I hadn’t realized we’d driven straight into Cabrini-Green. It was easy to forget one of the most

dangerous neighborhoods in Chicago was planted between two of the best. I tried not to react

and said a silent prayer of thanks that I’d driven my Sonata instead of my Lexus. “How’s this?” I

stopped in front of a rundown, red brick, row house.

“Perfect, thanks,” he said and hopped out. Then he leaned back in. “Be sure to lock your doors

after I leave.”

I smiled. “Don’t worry He-Man. I can take care of myself too.”

“I’m sure you can. But lock them anyway.”

“Hey, He-Man, let me know if you need a ride tomorrow.”