benign confusion master

8/14/2019 Benign Confusion MASTER

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Title: Benign ConfusionAuthor: TinaRating: RCharacter: John Biebe Mystery, AlaskaDisclaimer: The following story has been written with no intention of claiming ownershipor solicitation, nor does the author claim the movie character(s) as his/her own. Themovie character(s) have been borrowed solely out of a love of the particular movie and isnot intended for any other purpose but amusement and entertainment.

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1Prologue

Thursday, September 21st 2006

An early anniversary gift.

That was what he had told her Tuesday evening following dinner, hoping the sight of itwould cheer her, make her smile, ease the things that she carefully attempted to concealfrom him...and the one thing that would thrill his own heart was knowing he had madeher happy. So over the cups of Millstone vanilla crme flavored with Kahlua, over theplates filled with samples of bourbon pecan pie and cheesecake kissed with the sweetestraspberries and strawberries, he handed her the package. There was the usual


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puzzlement...then came the surprise accompanied by an almost girlish gasp. After a fewmoments of silence she stammered Oh...Oh my... as the tears came to her eyes and heheard a choked, soft spoken Thank you... in reply.

He could hear it all now as it replayed in his head, as clear as the night it occurred,

including all the little comments about how long she had sought what was nowprotectively held against her bosom. Most of all, however, he could still smell herfragrance when she finally came to his side, the blend of amber and myrrh, carefullylayered and applied as she always did, so as to nudge the senses of the one in proximityto her. The scent remained upon the books hard cover he caught the whiff again whenhe held it close and it only made his smile increase.

It was difficult to believe that as strong as her presence was within the room consideredher office, within their home she had been gone less than twenty-four hours.

And then something jarred inside him. A voice, a sensation, he was uncertain and yet it

felt very familiar to him. Perhaps he momentarily dozed and suddenly awakened with ajolt the room was slightly dim right now, with only the natural light peeping through thepartially opened curtains near her desk, just the type of conditions that would make onewant to sleep, and coupled with him being tired....Whatever happened, he glanced at hiswatch and sighing deeply, ran a hand over his face. It was time he tried to do anythingthat would help get him past all this, no matter how mundane it might be and what he hadintended to do from the time he awoke that morning. Now if he could onlypractice whathe preachedas the old saying went. With that, he carefully returned the book to its placeon the cherry wood desktop, reminded himself to make sure someone brought him freshflowers from the greenhouses or helped him cut a few roses in the garden (Just needeverything to be bright), then made his way out into the hall.

The walk even seemed longer than usual, no matter how long his strides, for he caughthimself and then immediately shook himself pausing too many times, as if listening:for the closing of a car door, for her footfall, for the mezzo-soprano that often filled thehouse when a song she loved came to mind or caught her attention on her I-Pod or XM-Satellite. Just the sound of her voice, whether happy or sad, frustrated or excited...in themidst of the prayers he had often overheard during the last week or simply hearing thesmile in her words when she said his name. The house, theirhouse, had captured herspirit from the moment he carried her across the threshold nearly five years before,appearing to thrive from her, exactly as he once hoped, but now....

Huh... he grunted on walking out the front door, shrugging as a reaction and rubbinghis hands together.Nip in the air already. Guess it really IS fall. At this time the daybefore, the temperatures were comfortably warm, caught between the clinging final daysof summer and the briskness of the oncoming autumn, but now he immediately noticedhow much cooler it had become. Cooler but not cold. Boy was he used to cold; made thisseem hot in comparison and although he inwardly chuckled on imagining a few of hisbrothers seeking out warmer climes, he promised not to lay on one of his Oh this isnothing. You should have been in Mystery back inand then he would fill in the month


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and year that happened to occur to him. No, he would be nice and it wasnt as if it wasabout to snow or a couple of his siblings about to become frozen in blocks of ice. Thiswas the sort of weather he loved, with that particular, indescribable scent in the air thatspoke of leaves changing hues as a brisk wind blew them from their branches, of theharvest.

Crisp thats how shed describe it. Crisp. Do you feel that? shed ask me and she

would sit right out on the terrace, with a cold breeze blowing and just laugh and keep atthat damn laptop or writing in a notebook, like it was nothing. Start talking about

working crime scenes that made this feel hot in comparison. Shes as bad as me

sometimes....No...no...its good weather. Feels good. I like this.I guess its fall theretoo...he considered absent-mindedly, then reached for the blower left against one side ofthe door. And I need to stay busy before I drive myself nuts, he muttered determinedly,and in one motion was down the three front steps, reminding himself as he glancedback over his shoulder that it would be nice to decorate the entrance before tomorrow,then stepping into the circular driveway began to clear the pavement of the few leaves

that invaded it. Just anything to keep busy....Not think....Not think about their last dinner together on Tuesday....Not think about their lastconversation....

Not...think....

They just took her in, John....Yes, yes...Yes, I was with her. They let a couple of us in therewith her, but they wont let you use a cell phone back there so she couldnt call you again.

She wanted to, but you know...the machinery and all....Yes, the machinery the cellphone could affect the electronics somehow, just like on an airplane. She was fine....Ofcourse she was nervous, but she was doing okay. It was sort of the waiting game, youknow. They had to get her ready. He had not cared to hear that her temperature wasslightly above normal or that her blood pressure was heading way above borderline,indicating her anxiety despite all the calmness she openly talked. She was talkativethough....You know how she gets when shes nervous....Oh no, no, when they got her it

was finally time so we just all said wed see her laterand she was calling back....Well,she said to tell you shed talk to you as soon as she could. ...You know she wanted you tobe there.

Yeah, he wanted to be there as well, and here at a time when she needed him most....

The honking horn caused him to look up. Narrowing his eyes, it took him a second torecognize the Atacama Sand Land Rover Freelander Sport heading up the main road atalmost reckless speed, puffs of smoke seemingly appearing in its wake, but almostimmediately it dawned on him as to who it was. The three-door hardback had arrived atthe Point about a week before, exactly as its new owner had ordered, and within the hourit was already off-roading, a few of the more adventurous residents taking a wild ridewith the proud driver. (That reminded him: he wondered if the 2007 models he and Tinahad been studying online would soon be making an appearance. That would be nice, for


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her to find a new car in the garage when she returned home....The sickening word ifsuddenly forced its way into the forefront of his mind, and he immediately shook it off,thinking Get behind me Satan as he did, one of those verses he had been taught as a childand never forgot. Nothing was going to happen nothing bad; he had to shove thosedoubts away).

But he always drives that way, John now chuckled as he stepped onto the lawn when theSUV swerved into the driveway, coming to a smooth stop despite the speed, a maneuverthat would have made any NASCAR driver pulling into a pit stop proud. I dont knowhow...

He was not surprised to see Terry Thorne climb out from behind the wheel, but realizingthat Maximus was in the passenger seat was even more surprising for the Spaniard stillmaintained a minor dislike of very fast vehicles, preferring his fast horses instead. Ofcourse, it could also be a matter of riding with drivers like Terry...or Savannah...orColin...even Tina....Right now, the General appeared a tad shell-shocked, which was not a

description one would ever give him!John! Gday mate!

Biebe smiled, turning off the leaf blower as he did. Terry.

John...good morning.

Maximus. Despite his desire to be alone, he was actually glad to see them. So whatbrings you two all the way out...

Brunch, Thorne said in the most matter-of-fact way as he stepped around the front ofthe vehicle.

Brunch? John looked confused.

Too late for brekkie, mate, so...brunch.

The former sheriff shook his head. I...I dont.... Were they expecting him to whipsomething up?

Maximus was smiling, realizing that his brother was obviously bewildered. What Terryis trying to say is that we realized you may have not yet had your breakfast, what withmatters on your mind, so we thought we would take a chance and...well...bring you backto the Tavern.

Oh I uh...

Youve eaten already then? Terry quizzed, one eyebrow raised.


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Um... Did having a cup of instant coffee count? Um....

That means no. I told you he was out here starving, Terry told the General, giving theother man a nudge in the arm. Youre coming down to the Tavern with us, mate. Werehere... and he took the leaf blower out of Johns hands, to kidnap you.

John groaned and shook his head again. Kid...Kidnap? I dont...I dont need to be kid....

We think you do! Now where do you want me to put this?

No...I...uh...I have things to do out here in the yard. Fellas...this is...this was nice of you,really, really it was, but you should have called...

Had we called first, Maximus countered, you would have immediately have told usno, dont come. So this was our way of as Jack might say never minding themaneuvers but coming straight at you.

Jack, eh?

He would have come himself, but he declared he would rather brave a Category 4hurricane off the coast of the Carolinas than ride with Terry.

Hey!

Jack said it, Terry, not I....Now...you havent had breakfast yet, have you, John?

Hesitant, John sighed. Nah....Coffee I think. Yeah...Yeah...coffee, he added half-heartedly. He thought of hearing the grinder in the mornings, the distinctive scent of freshroasted beans spilling out of the kitchen and throughout the house, and then, a short timelater, the drip-drip-drip of the coffeemaker accompanying the sounds of broiling bacon orfried Kentucky country ham. And biscuits, the way her grandmother used to make themshe often said. Youre going to get me fat, darlin. But I know some great ways of workingoff the calories. He had missed that today; had not even considered it, going instead forsomething simple to warm his stomach upon awakening.

Bet it was that instant stuff wasnt it...what you only drink in an emergency. God knowsIve lived on it when I couldnt get a decent....Where do you want me to put this?

Oh uh...um...the garage I guess, Terry, but...but Max...I...I cant go.

Why not? Maximus asked as Terry headed towards the three-car garage adjacent thehouse.

If they call....

Bring your mobile with you. Have your home calls forwarded to it. See? I have been


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around long enough to know these sorts of technological things, he added, winking,which caused his brother to smile. Then gently placing a hand on either side of Johnsarms he continued, John...come...please. Its not good for you to be alone right now. Iknow...I know you want to be... he interrupted before the Alaskan could complain, butdo you think she would really want that? Besides...if we let you sit at this house and go

hungry, shell be after all of us, and Ive seen your wife in a temper. I would ratherface...

Category 4 hurricane winds or Germanian hordes?

Either, Maximus chuckled. So youll come back with us?

Why brunch?

I told you, mate...its too late for brekkie now, but Adalia said shes whipping up somefancy Southern dishes for brunch and will even toss in omelettes and Belgian waffles to

order...so we told her there would be one more, Terry explained as he returned to theirside. So did you talk him into it, Max...or do we have to take him by force?

The General smiled. He is coming quite peacefully I think.

Good onya, John. I wasnt looking forward to a wrestling match this morning. Do youneed anything? Mobile?

In my pocket. He double-checked, then took a glimpse at the screen to make certain thesound was at maximum and that he had not missed any calls. No...nothing.

You feel safer if everythings locked up? We had a few lurkers at the Hotel and theTavern today and they were doing a lot of wandering... Terry told him, but John wasalready at the door and turning the lock.

Ready then? Maximus asked.

I... He looked up at the house as if trying to think of some legitimate excuse forremaining behind, but nothing was coming. He did not even need to worry aboutforwarding his calls if there was no answer at home, then they would automatically tryhis cell. And there had not been that many leaves in the front yard anyway....The falldecorations could wait a little, and going down to the main facility would afford him theopportunity to check about locating the pumpkins and gourds he wanted, as well as seeabout the fresh indoor arrangements. No...he really did not have a reason for staying.Yeah.

You may ride shotgun as Cort might say, the General insisted and before John couldanswer, watched as Maximus climbed into one of the rear seats. I have already had theexperience.


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Whinge, whinge, whinge, Terry muttered. This is the lasttime I let you ride in mylittle Freelander.

Thank you!

John got into the passenger seat, gently rubbing his stomach as he heard it rumble,thankfully not loud enough for others to notice. How he thought he would get through theday on a cup of instant coffee he had no idea, but honestly, there were so many otherthings on his mind, it never occurred to him to fix something more. I guess Im hungrierthan I thought, he confessed, as Terry turned the ignition and shifting gears, began tospeed around the circular drive. Biebe immediately clicked his seat belt into place,glancing back to see that Maximus had done so as well...and was now holding onto thesupport used when one was getting out.

Well were all in agreement, John. Adalias about as good as it gets. Tina knew what shewas doing when she hired her!

They had traveled the couple of miles and were nearing the frozen pond before Johnrealized it. He noticed he did not recognize several individuals walking on the side of theroad, obviously heading towards it, and once feeling the chill, started pulling on theheavier jackets they carried. Even Terry had turned on the windshield wipers to clearaway the large flakes that blurred his view.

You were right about the lurkers.

What was that mate? the driver asked.

John bowed his head to indicate the two couples that were laughing and stumbling in thefew inches of snow. The lurkers. You were right about them.

I told you they were wandering around.

Maximus chuckled. I only hope they stay to the main routes. The last thing we needtoday is a rescue mission. Then his face grew more serious. I realize it would haveruined the advanced plans of many of them, but quite frankly, I wish we had shutdownthe Point boundaries for today and tomorrow. Would have made things so mucheasier...for all of us.

The Alaskan gave a sad smile as he watched one girl take a tumble onto her behind,laughing as she went down. She didnt want that. I asked her about it too, remember?She said she didnt want anyone to be kept away. Something about you not knowing whomight stumble in...

The way she did that night more than six years before.The way she had slightly hiddenbehind Bud when they were all first introduced....Hearing her Good night John in his

head when he left her that night, thinking that she would never feel for him as he did for


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her...Looking up and seeing her standing there at the edge of his pond, watching,admiring....How beautiful she had been the evening she walked down the aisle to him,

giving up everything to make a life there with him.It was all returning in a blaze ofmemories, crushing in on him, making him turn away so that he would not see the lastglimpse of the area he specifically considered his own.

And hers.

There would be no place he could go in the Point that would not remind him of her.

Shell be back. Shell be back. And remember what they said. Shell call as soon as shesable. Dont sit around acting like its the end of the world or like shes never coming back.

Shell be back before I know it.Just God...please if its Your will let her be all right.Please let her be all right. Please let this take care of everything. I just...I just dont want

her to hurt anymore....

Part One:Five Months Before April 2006:

Im in my happy place. Im in my happy place. Im in my...Oh...GOD! Oh...GOD!

Im sorry Etienne. Just hold on. Were almost done.

Almost done. Almost done. Im...in...my...happy...place. Oh God! In...happy....She gruntedand caught her breath, nearly crying out at the pain and moaning Oh...Oh God despiteswearing she would notsay anything.Happy...Happy...place.

There...were done. You did just fine.

Fine? Oh GOD! This is why I havent had an exam in forever. She glanced up to wherethe woman stood beside her, holding out a hand so as to help her to sit up on the table.Sniffing, Tina whispered, Im sorry.

Dont be. You did good. You did better than a lot of my patients.

Tina was finally catching her breath and returning to some semblance of normalcy. Ihave to ask you... she managed, watching as the doctor placed the samples in theirassigned sections, then removed the rubber gloves before washing her hands. Hasanyone ever tried to create something less...painful to do the collections?

The other woman laughed. Honestly they have tried, but nothing works quite as well...

As something created out of Medieval times? Tina chuckled.


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They really do work, but no, I know what you mean. I wish there was something not aspainful....Just be glad this is only once a year.

Yeah. Once a year....

Or in her case perhaps once in the last five years or longer. She had been so negligent,which was quite unlike her usual attention to detail, but going to see Dr. Anthony whenshe needed to had always sufficed. Until now....

So the results should be back...?

One week to ten days. If I dont contact you, then someone else from the office will.

OkayOkaygreat.

And...Ill ask you again and forgive me if I do but...you said you had neverbeen

diagnosed with fibroids before?Tina shook her head. Im pleading ignorance. Like I said before...I had never even heardof them until you told me. I guess Ive probably heard the word before, but it just neverstuck.

The other woman smiled. Wellthats not unusual. Most dont until they actually learnthat they have them, or they meet a friend or relative that does, so youre not the first.Butfrom my preliminary exam, they are most definitely there, so if you have timetoday...

Sure.

When you go next door to Radiology for your mammogram, I would very much like it ifyou would go ahead and have an ultrasound done as well.

Tina raised an eyebrow for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. Ultrasound?But Im not...I mean...

Oh! Oh no! This is a different type of ultrasound, but it will give us a better idea of whatwere dealing with, and it will definitely indicate the development of the fibroids. Then Ican better determine how large they are; their placement; give me some hint of what wemight have to do in the future. That way we can start considering all our options.

Sure, sure...okay.Optionsyeahgood. There was confusion in Tinas eyes, even asshe bowed her head as if comprehending everything the specialist was saying. Too much,too fast. I dont have anything else plannedjust this.

Great. When you get dressed, just stop at the front desk. Ill leave your records there andthey can write up the order for the ultrasound prior to you going down the hall. Your


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mammogram wont take but a few minutes and we have your past ones to make a propercomparison.

Tina nodded. It had taken her forever to remember all the hospitals and clinics that hadconducted her mammograms over the last ten years, but all the X-rays had been tracked

down.The OB-GYN was writing a few more notations in Tinas file. So...mammogram,ultrasound for fibroids. That should cover it for now. Do you have any other questions?

The former crime scene technician glanced down at her hands, feeling that the morninghad been overwhelming enough. I...No...no not really. Not now anyway. Ill probablyhave more once were sure about these fibroids.Fibroidsfiberfibrous. Fibroids forfibrous. What the heck does that mean? What did she say at first? I know what she

said.I just dont want to think about that word. I dont like that word.Thats why theysay fibroid.

And a short time later, as she sat in the small waiting area after checking in at the officesRadiology department, one eye on a television news bulletin about a possible gunman inthe Dirksen Senate Building in Washington DC, and another on the pages of a magazineshe held, Tina found the questions shifting through her mind, no matter what she did, nomatter how hard she tried to concentrate on the news or on...and she suddenly realized thematerial was on child rearing! Shows you how much attention I was paying when I pickedthat one up, she laughed to herself as she put it aside and attempted to find anotherpublication that might be more suitable for her, flipping through one issue after another.

Lets see....Good after-school activities. Uh...no....Potty training. No....Sex during

pregnancy....Your last trimester what to expect....Hmm...Recipes for little boys andgirls....I remember when Grandmother first taught me how to cook. She smiled softly.AnEasy-Bake oven....Boy...they sure do have a lot of child care magazines, but they are

obstetricians and gynecologists too...Ah...here we go. Sex after menopause....Well, atleast there was some, she laughed...or there could be...and at least this publication wasgeared more towards adult women.

Not that she honestly read the material. She was still glancing at the TV and wonderingwhat was happening, realizing that living at the Point tended to shelter them all from theReal World...and then she caught herself. Okay...now I know theyd better hurry up andcall me cause now Im counting pregnant women. She suddenly realized that there wasnot only her and an older woman who had arrived behind her, but now three youngerwomen, all in various stages of pregnancy, seemed to have appeared out of nowhere! Tinacasually smiled at all of them it was the Louisville way, smiling at even strangers youpassed on the street in that welcoming manner that made them pride themselves on beingthe gateway to the South. But she caught herself from asking from the lady sitting twochairs down from her how far along she was, even if that did seem so natural in a roomfilled with women.


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So here I am...surrounded by pregnant women and women having mammograms andwomen in menopause and entering menopause...and here I am. Here I am: Im not in

menopause, Im not pregnant...I have fibroids and I dont know a darn thing about them.What causes them...where they come from? Who gets them? Why do I have them? Why

did they say tumor and then remember to add benign? Oh God...She ran a hand through

her hair, pushing it back from her face, and attempted once again to concentrate on thearticle regarding sex and menopause.I know Ive heard of them before...butwhere....Where? And if theyre tumors, why not just call them that? What did I do to get atumor?.

Ms. Biebe?

Thank God! Tina jumped up at the sound of her name, smiling as she followed thetechnician back into the main Radiology facility, the other woman chit-chatting in thatcasual way one did when passing the few seconds during a short walk to an examinationroom.

The mammogram was first and not as uncomfortable and cold as she onceremembered them. More updated equipment to reveal even more detail than before thetechnician explained, which was fine with Tina, uncontrollably giggling as her memoriesreturned to tests past.

But as they moved into an adjacent room, this one with low light and containing an examtable, monitors and other medical machinery...well, if they had taken her blood pressureat that moment, she knew it had immediately gone sky high, and she nearly felt her heartdrop into her stomach as she realized she was now stepping into something veryunknown.

Fibroids, fibroids....I should have known something; should have felt somethingshechided herself, hurriedly removing her lower clothing for what seemed the umpteenthtime that day.I did something wrong I know it. Oh Lord...I knew I should have gone toa doctor before now. Why did I wait? I shouldnt have waited. I wonder how long theyve

been there? I guess not even Anthony realized it; he does my physicals every year, but he

kept telling me to come Outside, see a gynecologist cause it was just something I oughtto do...but I didnt...and now....

She neatly folded her jeans and underwear, placed them on a nearby chair, then climbed(How many times have I done THIS today?) onto the paper-covered table, timidly pullingthe tissue gown over her now bare lower body, her heart palpitating so intensely that thebeat was ripping through her ears.I feel really dumb....Im supposed to be so up on thisstuff....I should have known when my periods werent right. Too much blood. Ive beenbleeding way too heavily every month.. I didnt even know why.Just thought it wasweird.Now I find out.

There was a tapping at the door and the technician peeped in. You ready, Ms. Biebe?she kindly asked.


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Oh yeah...all ready.... Tina was glad to stop thinking for a bit. Sorry Ive never hadan ultrasound before, she admitted as she watched the tech walk to the equipmentimmediately beside the table and begin to make preparations. I...uh...I was with mysister when she was pregnant and I saw her have one my nephew and then later on my

niece...but not one on myself.Well...this is a tad different from the ultrasound performed on your sister or any otherexpectant mother. It wont hurt....I mean...its not painful. It may be a littleuncomfortable, but it wont hurt I promise.

Im glad to hear that. I just had my Pap Smear done earlier and... Tina tried to laugh,also thinking that it was also more painful than any she had known in the past due to thedoctor taking biopsy samples simultaneously. I was saying that I didnt know why after all these years there wasnt another, less painful way of doing those.

Oh believe me, youre not the first one to ask that....Now Ms. Biebe...lets get you to laydown flat; just slide your head onto the pillow there, slide down a bit morea bitmore.Thats good and now, place your feet in the stirrups....Thank you.

The stirrups again.

Now just relax as much as you can....The gel at least is warm...

But I just saw that probe....

Just relax....

Easy for you to say. Youre not the one with something the size of a 747 being rammed up

your vagina.

We just want to get in there and find exactly what Doctor Stutenbecker needs so itsgoing to take a little bit, okay? Now...

Now....Tina closed her eyes, trying to breathe normally as the gel was applied and not toher abdomen (Nope...not like when youre pregnant....She was right about that).Thencame the probe...and out of curiosity, she turned her head to the right, raising a little inthe hopes of seeing the monitor the technician was carefully studying. If the machine hadnot been turned at a slight angle, she might have been able to see the source of what wascausing her problems.

There...they...are, the technician finally announced after a few moments.

You see them? Tina craned her neck again.

Yep...theyre showing up real clearly. They are definitely there, Ms. Biebe....Thats why


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Doctor Stutenbecker wanted the ultrasound. Now...if you can be patient with me for a fewminutes more...I just need...

Take all the time you need, Tina told her, wincing slightly.No...No...definitely...definitely notdefinitely not as painful.

Just...a little more. She needs to see them as clearly as possible when I print out theresults.

Ten minutes later, she was back in the waiting room again, waiting this time withonewoman who appeared to be in the very early stages of her pregnancy, and as she had donebefore, Tina smiled her way before burying her face in the pages of a magazine writtenfor women over thirty-five. Okay...so this is going way beyond what I thought when Icame here today....One stop shopping. There you go. Get it all done at once, get it over

with....Figure out what Im going to do next; what options I....

Ms. Biebe?Yes? She followed the technician to a more secluded corner, wondering what battery oftests she would be put through next or whether her OB-GYN would need to see her againto make some final pronouncement, only to find a brochure being thrust into her hands.

Okay....Ive shown the scans to Doctor Stutenbecker and she asked me to give youthis....And...someone from the office will get in touch with you about the results of allyour other tests today.

Tina could not help but appear bewildered. So...uh...thats uh...thats it then?

Thats it. You take care now. The friendly woman gave her a gentle pat on the arm.

Uh...yes, yes...you too....Thank you. Thank you so much, the former Louisvillianreplied, glancing down at the cover on the pamphletand realizing that it was aboutfibroids and alternative solutions. It felt odd now, as if she had been summarily dismissedfollowing over two hours of spending her life in these enormous but very personaloffices.

She headed towards the Exit just off Radiology, glancing aside at another set of oakendoors and thinking that at some point, she would like a tour of the facilities where theyalso did therapeutic massages, thinking how nice it might be to pamper herself that way,and then reminding herself of some things she needed to touch base with Savannah andKath about regarding Scents, Swords and More.

It was only when she was out in the wide hallway, it was only as she approached theelevator, walking slowly as she glimpsed the pages of the material given to her, that shepaused and swallowed hard, the truth of the entire afternoon suddenly colliding with whatshe was trying so hard to not think about.


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Oh my God....I have fibroids....They called them tumors. And they did a biopsy. They dida biopsy.

***********************************************************************

*So...do you want to cancel it?

Tina started, looking up from the material resting in her lap, not only the fibroid brochurebut one of her planning notebooks, already filled with her carefully jotted printing andhandwriting. She was concentrating so much on what she was reading concentrating onone thing and then another as she multi-tasked that the sound of her husbands voicereturned her to actual reality. Im sorry....What was that?

John Biebe chuckled, sitting down at the side of the wickerchaise longue on which his

wife relaxed, reaching over to gently pat one of her hands.She had arrived home several hours earlier, finding him working out on his frozen pond,and at first, on seeing her soft, familiar smile, he believed everything just fine...until thatinner sense of her reached out as it habitually did, and he realized that something waswrong, something was hidden behind her smile. There was something she needed to tellhim, and immediately he inattentively dropped hisstickand the puck he held and skatedquickly to where she stood.In the calmest of terms, with a snow-filled wintry breezestirring about them and neither paying it much attention, Tina laid out the visit to the OB-GYN, and on seeing how calm she was with the news, he simply took her in his arms andwhispered that they should head home.

Unable to talk since they were driving in separate vehicles, John was eager to hear moredetails the second they walked in the front door, but he waited until Tina changed clothesand freshened up, while he showered, prepped the entree for dinner and made drinks.Now they were on the terrace and had been for a while, the stark differences in theweather around the frozen pond and the spring temperatures at the Biebe house veryobvious, but at least now they could relax and take it all in.

Once again he carefully listened, asked questions, flipped through the pamphlet and heardher initial confusion, fetched her laptop so they could start researching online, but afterninety minutes of talk, he noticed she was ready to set it aside for a bit. (I think Ivelearned more about fibroids in the last hour than I ever knew in my life, she confessed,laughing). He knew for certain when she ran inside for a moment, returning with hernewest notebook...but every now and then he would catch her despite her currentconversation flipping the brochures pages, tugging at her lower lip in that habit she hadwhen in deep thought. That was why he asked her the question which had surprised her.

I was just saying...do you want to cancel it?


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Cancel what?

He motioned towards her notebook. All that Derby stuff. Do you want to just cancel it?Weve got time.

Tina shook her head. Oh no, no, I dont...I dont really...I dont really want to do that.Youre sure? I mean...its not that important. Everybody would understand.

No I... She sighed and sat back, her eyes momentarily leaving his face and looking out,beyond the enormous expanse of the back yard and the gardens, beyond the cliffs andbeach and out towards the ocean. Thankfully, on leaving the doctors office and almostwithout thought, taking I-64 Eastbound out of Louisville, she only drove about nineteenmiles beyond the city limits when she instinctively knew to take Exit 32A towardsFinchville, Kentucky and in seconds found herself immediately on the edge of the townadjacent the Point. She was then home within minutes...and thinking that she never

wanted to step outside its boundaries again. Now that she was back at the Point, she wassafe, protecteduntil she looked at that information sheet and the reality of her morningsmacked her across the senses once more.

But she concentrated on her husband again. I really, really want to do this, John...and notjust an Oh its Derby lets make a few mint juleps and sing My Old Kentucky Homeparty like weve done in past years. No...I want a real honest-to-goodness full-blownDerby week!

We didnt used to always have Derby parties, darlin.

Ahhhhhhhh...but thatwas before a couple of Kentuckians arrived and started knockingthis place into shape. John laughed as Tina continued: You had Christmas,Thanksgiving, Easter, Canadian Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, Guy Fawkes Day, NewYears Eve....You even had Boxing Day.

With all the Aussies, Brits and Canadians around here we werent going to lose BoxingDay.

And I forgot ANZAC Day...and...well...lets see, American and Canadian Labor Day...ohand Halloween....How could I forget Halloween?

Fine, I get your point....So we have plenty of parties and celebrations and religiousobservances to go around...

Yeah, she grinned.

...and...I just... He shrugged, wondering if he was making sense. I just wonder...do youreally need Derby planning on top of everything else?


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Its not that bad, John, and Stephanie and I have been organizing it forever anyway.

I know, I know. Stephanies always a big help, bless her heart.

We Kentuckians have to stick together. But she giggled, recalling a few including hersorority sisters former husband which she would just as soon forget or put in a woodgrinder. Well...most of us do anyway.

John knew what she meant. Youre bad.

It Stephs fault. She rubbed off on me. And you know how I feel about that ex of hers.

Andyoure changing the subject, Mrs. Biebe.

No Im not, she insisted.

Yeah, yeah you are....Sweetheart...are you sure this isnt going to be too damn much onyou? I mean, on top of you being a Keeper, youre managing here at the Point, you stillhave the store and...and you try to be the best wife a man could ever have.

Tina pretended as though she was writing in the notebook. Note to self: Work on beingthe absolutely best wife a man could ever have. Trying isnt good enough. She laughedon seeing John rolling his eyes. Im sorry....Im sorry, John...its just...its just youre soserious.

The humored expression on his handsome features faded. Because Im worried.Im...Im worried about you, Sunny. He could hear his soul collapse just a little whenshe used the term benign tumor, the very one used with her.

Tina touched a hand to his cheek. I know. Im sort of worried too.

JustJust sort of? He nearly laughed.

I...Well... She sighed again. This is what I figured and I was thinking about this all theway home.The tech came and got me and gave me the brochure and told me somebodywould be in touch about my tests results. I guess if they didnt come running at mescreaming Oh my God! at the top of their lungs and rushing me next door to the hospitalfor emergency surgery then...well...Im guessing the fibroids arent the size ofgrapefruits. She rubbed one finger over the pamphlet. I mean...I cant...I cant evenimagine that! Can you believe we read that? Thesize of agrapefruit? I dont even knowhow it would... She moved her hands below her abdomen. How would it even get...?She shook her head, lowering it, trying to force away the tears burning behind her eyes,praying that her voice would not be as choked as she feared. II justI just figuredthey couldnt be that big since nobody flipped out. I...I hope they werent anyway. Icouldnt see the ultrasound....I wish I had thought to ask the tech if she could turn the


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monitor so I...

Okay...so well be optimistic and figure theyre more like...

Clusters of grapes.

John smiled. That works. Okay...so I may not be able to eat grapes again for a whileafter some of those pictures we saw online but... Tina laughed and he smiled morebroadly. It was good to hear her laugh. No darlin...what Im trying to tell you isthat...dont feel that out of...I dont know...some kind of tradition or obligation orwhatever that you need to do these Derby things. Its not that important. We can have aparty anytime and...I...I just have a feeling that once everyone hears whats happeningwith you...

Im...Im not going to tell everyone yet.

Tina?I...Ive told you. Ive told you....I even called my mother and talked to her before Ileft... In the last few years, Tina and her mother were on much better relations, andalthough none of her family knew the details behind the Point, they were very aware thatshe had finally found happiness and were leaving it at that. I...I think I mighttell acouple of my friends but...I dont know. I dont know yet.

The Alaskan nodded slowly as he took it all in. It was peculiar to hear Tina admit that shewould purposefully keep something so close to the cuff, considering how normally openshe was, but hearing her actually say it was unexpected.

I think...I...I just dont want to get everyone excited and upset and...well...we reallydont know anything yet.

No...

I mean the only thing we know definitely is I have fibroids...and no noticeable lumps inmy breasts, and Im full-figured...

John leaned in to kiss her mouth. Beautifully full-figured. No matter what he didthroughout the day, thoughts of her soft curves against him always came to him, causinghim to realize over and over again how fortunate he was. How empty the world would bewithout her.

Well, Doctor Stutenbecker didnt put it that way...but she said that overall Im healthy,shes glad I workout, Im a nice size 16...and I have these benign tumorsthesefibroids and... She paused, causing John to realize that there was more she had yet to tellhim. And uh...Im...Im pre-menopausal, which is the main reason why I went to her inthe first place....I just...I had a feeling. She could see the surprise on Johns face and


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knew that in a matter of less than three hours, two bombshells had been dropped in hislap...and the latter announcement seemed to shock him more than the other. It was thethought that even Point magic had not stopped something that came naturally in the lifeof women.

You didnt tell...I didnt tell you because I didnt want you to worry and besides... She took a deepbreath, not wanting...no, not prepared to discuss the questions that were now in hismind...and in hers, and before he could say another thing, Tina placed one hand about hisneck and pulling him closer, kissed his forehead. Besides...its a womans thing, sheteased, hoping that would make him smile.

If you sit there and tell me I wont understand... he scolded, nearly wagging a finger ather but she caught it in mid-air.

I know you do, she gently answered, not wanting him to take offense. Thats one ofthe reasons why I married you John Biebe...because you understood when most peoplenever did.

Well, you know what I always told you, sweetheart. My movie...what I went through init...I learned a lot. After nearly seven years here at the Point, I think...I...hope Ivemanaged to learn more or its been kind of useless. Id hate to think that after all thistime, Im still the same lump...

You are not a lump.

Okay, the same man I was back before I came here.

Tina shook her head. You are... Her right thumb traced an imaginary line over thesensuous curve of his mouth. Youre incredible, do you know that? SometimesSometimes I swear that you know my body better than I do.And you are kind...andsweet...and strong...very strong, and any woman who never saw that, then its her frigginloss...but its all the things that made me....

He knew she saw it in his eyes as they glowed, full of love for her.

Briefly she did wonder why she had not told him of the evidence during the last monthsthat indicated something was changing in her body. The changes had begun not long aftertheir return home following a ten day fall holiday in England: little things, some notreally noticeable at first, but others that were obvious and more pronounced, spurring herto consult with Dr. Anthony Giraudeau, the Point physician. He recommended her to Dr.Stutenbecker: they had interned together years before, were members of the samemedical fraternity, and she was not only one of the top OB-GYNs in Kentucky but herassociates were ranked quite highly in the Commonwealth.


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But no, all she told John was that it was time way past time that she saw a specialist infemale concerns, as she jokingly called it, causing Biebe to roar with laughter and askher if shed gone Victorian on him. Now she realized that as much as he prided himselfon knowing her, he felt very out in the cold.

I know...I know I should have told you everything.You didnt have to I understand that but its just... He shrugged. Darlin...I feellike...well...I always hoped I knew every little inch of you, every little cycle you gothrough

And you do. Thats what I was just saying. Sometimes I feel like you know all of thisbetter than I do.

WellI tried anyway... he sheepishly said, partly angry with himself for not havingknown, when there was no way he could have. And...I know now.

Yeah...and I promise...Ive put all the cards on the table. I wont keep any other secretsfrom you, I promise. It was just...I didnt know what to think either and I kept going overwhat was happening with me and...Well...just promise

What, sweetheart?

For now, its just between us, okay?

Okay. I wont tell any of my brothers. I wont tell anyone unless you give me the word.

She fidgeted with the corner of the brochure, which although new was beginning toshow signs of wear. And Ill tell...wont tell...Ill make up my mind....I know one thingthough.

What?

You accused me of getting off the subject and here we are getting all serious and I havean entire weeks worth of Derby planning to finish up.

Sorry darlin. My fault. He was smiling, wondering how in the world she could manageto remain so normal.

Well Ive got to finalize the menus with Adalia....I mean we have Oaks Day not justDerby Day, and then the barbecues, and the country ham breakfast, and the Fillies Ball,and the Derby Ball, and the Hole-in-One...and with us having these charity events thatsgoing to complicate things just a teeny bit. And then I need to get with Stephanie causeshes finishing up her end of things and...grrrrrr...I promised Arthur and Andy that Id getback in touch with them this week about Thunder night. Theyll be ordering up andbuying every piece of fireworks up and down the East andWest coast if theyre given


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half a chance. Oh and we need to order as much Makers Mark and Woodford Reserve aswell can get from our supplier, and Maximus said the mint is spreading like wildfire sowell have realmint juleps, not some powdered mix crap, and...

Tina?

Hmm? She suddenly realized how she was rattling off the details that were so natural toher and began to laugh. I did it again, didnt I?

He only smiled. I forgot to tell you.

What?

The mint julep cups you ordered.

Yeah?

They came this morning while you were in Louisville.

They did?! You saw them? And?

Sterling silver never looked so good.

Tina clapped her hands together. Yes! That is so...This is going to be the best Derbyweek weve ever had....Just like home...without the crowds, the crime, the annual Derbyhomicide, the annual Derby sexual assaults that arent sexual assaults...

Forced police overtime, John added. Tina had told him numerous times that herenjoyment of Derby festivities came to a screeching halt once she joined the policedepartment; it was more a time of stress and just praying for it all to quickly end, insteadof the festival celebrated by the entire state.

The drunken millionaire celebrities. The drunks period.

Well, Im not saying we wont have drunks, John said.

Well...there wont be as many.

Thats a fact.... He stood up and stretched. So...Ill tell you what Mrs. Biebe.

Whats that Sheriff Biebe?

How do you feel about seafood for dinner tonight?

I feel... and she pretended to give it deep consideration, very good about it.


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Great...cause thats what were having, he grinned. I prepped a couple of tuna steakswhile you were upstairs toasted the fennel seeds and coriander seeds and ground thosewith the kosher salt and fresh pepper, then rubbed all that on both sides of the tuna, andthose have been in the fridge for nearly 4 hours, so the seasonings should be set. He sawthe surprise on Tinas features as she nodded, realizing that he had obviously followed the

recipe down to the detail. Most men, oh what the heck many females, would not have aclue behind heating the seeds until they were brown and fragrant. She thought shesmelled something with a Mediterranean touch but hadnt questioned it.

Right.

So Ill get the sesame seeds toasted...mix up the parsley and the Preserved Lemon...

You found that in the refrigerator? Im...Wow. She remembered when she first madethe Preserved Lemon a few months before and all his questions about it, but she had noidea....

And Ill go ahead and start the brown rice since its going to take a while; figured Id usebroth instead of plain water...

Yeah... Tina kept nodding over and over.

I shredded some carrots to make the slaw with the toasted pine nuts...

You found those too, she softly stated.

Yep and picked the herbs to go in that...and youll be happy to hear that Maximus gaveme a bottle of some Spanish red wine that he said would be great with seared tuna....but Ihad to have the kitchen whip us up something for dessert, darlin. Ill put it together later;they said its real simple, but how does balsamic and black pepper strawberries sound,with warm toasted mozzarella flat breads? Thats what they told me its called anyway.

That sounds...That sounds wonderful. And here I thought that you were just good at chiliand hot wings.

Darlin....I make some mean chili and hot wings.

I wont argue with that. I love your chili and your hot wings...and your barbecued ribsarent bad either.

A guy likes to hear when hes doing good. Okay so...you go ahead and work on yourDerby stuff and Ill start finishing up on dinner.

Great...oh and John?

Yeah?


22/57

You want to pop a bottle of Champagne in the fridge too? We can have that with theberries and flat breads.

Thatll go with Champagne?

Tina smiled. Check out Andrea Immers book since youre using it to cook with.Everythinggoes with Champagne...even popcorn.

Popcorn, eh? Works for me then. Well have to try that some movie night.All rightsweetheart...you just relax...

I will.

...and Ill take care of everything, he told her as he backed away, heading to the Frenchdoors that led into the kitchen...but not before he paused, briefly watching as she returned

to her notebook...but could be seen picking up the fibroid brochure once again.He nearly told her to let it go for the time being, but decided not to. Once they starteddinner, once they relaxed over the Champagne and dessert and perhaps even found amovie to watch, he prayed that would be enough of a diversion.

Not only for her but for him as well....

Benign Confusion

Part Two

30 April 2006

So are we there yet? Are we anywhere near done yet? I think Im done and the two bags in the Vancouverites hands were proudly raised and shaken to indicate heraccomplishments.

Savannahs proclamation to those with her earned her not only smiles but some laughteras well, and considering what a few might call the pressure of the moment, was awelcome break.

There is positively no way you can be done! Stephanie glared at her, half-playfully andhalf-seriously. You went innostrike that. You ran in two stores since weve beenhere and youre

Savannah only smiled. What can I say?

Chloe looked amazed. You can tell me your secret.


23/57

She doesnt have a secret, Donna explained, briefly pausing at the sales display in oneof the Nine West windows before moving along with the others. Shes just trying todrive the rest of us insane!

But now as the women moved further into what made up the Mall St. Matthews, having

entered from the main doors facing the Shelbyville Road side, Chloe found herself staringincredulously and the way she might have back home during the Christmas season. Sheneeded to constantly remember that it was not any type of national holiday or even back-to-school time, but a Sunday and the final day of April.

Its like Christmas Eve, she whispered, noting how festive the place appeared thennearly hesitating at the sight of the crowds ahead of them.

Tina and Stephanie laughed, and it was for the latter to announce, Welcome toLouisville, Kentucky at Derby time. And if you think this is something, we should headup to Lexington.

Chloe smiled and shook her head, not sure she liked the idea of that.

Of course the two Kentuckians and the newly arrived head chef, Adalia who was aHoosier from immediately across the Ohio River in Southern Indiana had attempted toprepare all of them for what they would see in a city organizing for their biggest event ofthe year. But words had not been enough. Everywhere they went, there were signs of thisgreatest of horse races. The Cracker Barrel where they had dined for breakfast was nearthe airport and a short distance from Churchill Downs, so naturally it and the surroundingarea reflected the celebration.

As the four carloads of women caravanned from the citys central area and proceededEast, all of those visiting Louisville for the first time, especially during the Season, sawclean-up crews working overtime and ordinary residents attempting to mow their lawnsand care for their gardens in-between showers. It appeared that if a business had theadvantage of an electronic sign or one with interchangeable plastic lettering WELCOMETO LOUISVILLE, WELCOME TO THE DERBY, and GET YOUR DERBY NEEDSHERE were proudly flaunted without shame. If one could tie in a product to the event be it Kentucky born bourbon or a pair of shoes or a new desktop computer themerchants were doing it in drovesand no one seemed to mind.

This is just Chloe was saying, nearly awestruck.

Incredible? someone asked.

Amazing? another chimed in.

Weird?

Yeahall of that, was all she could surmise and they stopped upon coming to a dead


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end that branched off in two directions and had a Pottery Barn straight ahead of them.

Surrounding voices rose and fell in a cacophony of sounds that had the Point womenturning this way and that as they attempted to gain their bearings, and in the organizedconfusion take a moment to simply people-watch. Lone females shopping on their own

smiled as they window-shopped, some occasionally taking a look at the bags they carriedafter a successful visit, talked on their cell phones, or pushed either a personal pram or acolorful one rented from the Mall. Whichever the case, the contraption was filled not onlywith baby or babies but numerous bags as well.

Young males of all races, some wearing the latest in tasteless teen fashions (the popularpants hanging sloppily off the hips), were in pairs or groups, their purchases reflectingAbercrombie or Foot Locker. Teenaged girls were mainly traveling together at least oneunable to resist a cell phone call or two or the required text message; giggly, playful,eager to spend more, their shopping bags were the colors of the rainbow and the womencaught the various names of Cach, Dillards, 5-7-9, New York and Company, and Bath

and Body Works. Someone popped a chocolate covered strawberry into their mouth,while their companion sipped a cold drink from a Godiva plastic cup. The hip hoppershad not only been clothes shopping, but carried GameShop bags and Sprint and T-Mobile bags. Here and there was a green Williams-Sonoma bag. One obviously hungryindividual was chewing on a fragrant Cinnabon. One middle-aged couple strolled by witha Sleep Number brochureright before a sign caught the ladys eye and she drew herreluctant husband into a jewelry store right next to where Tina and the remnants of hergroup stood.

There was a Christmas type atmosphere to all of it. One could see it in the often elaboratedecorations which were everywhere, even draping the ceilings and walls, and of course inthe store window displays: crimson roses the symbol of the Derby itself both real andcleverly done in silk; lilies for the Oaks; artificial gardens of brightly hued tulips; jockeysilks and riding accoutrements; mock-ups of the Twin Spires and here and there evendetailed grandstands and a track to accompany the Spires. And horses, faux horses bothminiature and nearly full-size, a few tempting the kids to beg their parents for a ride onthe horsey and some bearing the names of the most famous that had come before:Secretariat, Affirmed, Citation, Seattle Slew, Whirlaway, Count Fleet, Omaha, GallantFox, Assault and War Admiral and Sir Barton.

No Seabiscuit? Savannah appeared disappointed as she scanned the ribbonsembroidered with the names.

NopeNo Seabiscuit.Sorry. He never ran in the Derby, Tina explained, but thensoftly said Excuse me as her mobile rang. War Admiral won the Triple Crown; I thinkthey were related.Hello? Yeah! Where are you?

Someone is going to have to explain all of this to me, Chloe bemoaned, moving asideas an excited woman rambling on her cell nearly ran over them. Im not a big horseracing fan.


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Oh its easy, Stephanie said, smiling. Well give you a crash course, dont worry. Thefact that you let yourself be dragged along for a shopping trip puts you halfway there.

Really? Chloe looked skeptical.

Reallyand if worse comes to worse, we can stop by A Taste of Kentucky and get youas many books on the Derby as you think you might need.

Donnas attention was drawn from a display of jeweled earrings. Whats A Taste ofKentucky?

Tina was plugging her free ear with her right fingers, and holding her head and cellphone at an angle she was heard to say, Brookstone? YeahYeahI know where thatis.

I was going to ask the same thing, Savannah chimed in. A Taste of Kentucky?Stephanie sighed as thought this was something the remainder of the group shouldalready be familiar with, and Chloe half-expected her to ask them if they had not readsome sort of standard handbook! We have to go there anyway, but its a store that sellsproducts related to the state.

Oh, how cool, Chloe said. Like what sort of products?

Books, recordings, videos, quilts, clothing, bourbon balls, country ham, beatenbiscuits.Dontask! she ordered on seeing the question on a few of the faces. LetAdalia tell you if we ever find her again (where the heck did she go?). But thats whyits called A Taste of Kentucky.

Youre not that far from us, Tina was continuing as she spoke to some unknown person.I was almost ready to call out the dogs when you.Lauras in Brookstone, sheinformed the remainder of the group before returning to her conversation.

Theres a Brookstone in here? Bugdogs ears were perking up. I was wondering ifthey had any electronic storesI mean realelectronic stores. Wheres it at?

Tina pointed in a direction that would have been to her right. Just as you go past BrooksBrothers and next door to the Dillards down that way, she directed, but not theDillards we drove past when we were looking for parking.No She had turned herattention back to the Chicagoan. Nowere no where neardone. You have fun. Theresan FYE and a GameStop in here too.

Chloes looked puzzled. Not the Dillards we drove past?

They have two Dillards in here, Stephanie explained for Tina, who seemed distracted


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with her conversation with the Chicagoan. Oooo It was now her turn to sounddistracted, but she quickly returned her attention to the latest arrival. Sorry.IAnywaythe one by Brookstone is for the home, children and menand the other isway on the opposite side of the Mall. Its strictly for women.

Thats weird, Chloe laughed.WellI guess it kind of made sense at the time, splitting the store up that way, but its bewildering.Ive been in here a million times and I still get confused. But theattorneys voice was drifting as something suddenly caught her attention and began todraw her towards it, enticing her in a manner no other business so far had. I always endup in the home store when I want the one for womenor Im shopping for Anthony andthe kidsand But she never finished.

There goes Steph, Savannah complained, tapping one foot on the floor in mockimpatience. Stephanie! Where are you?! There she goes.

Whats she looking at? It was for Chloe to inquire as Tina was still talking on her cellphone and now appeared to be juggling call waiting capabilities as she was now tellingsomeone, No, no, thats the wrongBody Shop. Youre looking for the real Body ShopI mean, you know, the Body Shop youre

Stephanie! Savannah uselessly called out again. Dont you go in there! Dont youdare go in there! Dont youYoure trying to put ourstore out of business, arent you?Bloody hell, she muttered. Dont you buy one thing that we can sell you, do you hearme?!

But the Kentuckian was delightedly pointing at one of the numerous display signs:

SEXY? INNOCENT?

ANGELIC? DEVILISH?

BE YOUR PERFECT SELF FOR DERBY!

OUR MOST LUSCIOUS PANTIES!

BUY 2

GET 3 PAIRS FREE

THE BRAS YOUVE MOST DESIRED IN YOUR WARDROBE

BUY 1

GET 1 FREE

WIDE RANGE TO CHOOSE FROM!

As tempted as Odysseus let loose from his bonds and giving into the delights of theSirens, Stephanie giddily rushed into the crowd of female shoppers, and had quicklyvanished from view, lost to the enticement that was Victorias Secret.

I was wondering how long it would take her to spot that, Donna laughed. And thats agreat sale.


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Dont you dare move! We can check back later! AlthoughTinawe really ought tothink about selling lingerie too, the Vancouverite admitted. That can be some more ofthe more in More.

Tina, however, was still talking to the person on the line, only half-hearing what herfellow Scents, Swords and More partner had opined. Well, well be heading that way in abit anyway. Do you see Dillards or did you see Dillards? The womens Dillards Imean? Their fragrance counters are Yepwere heading that way pretty soon if you alljust want to stay on that side. Do you see Payless too? How do the shoes? Yeah I canhold on a.They do? she gasped. Cool! I need to check in there then. They usuallyhave such cute dressy stuff in my size.OkayOkayYeahwell see you all in abit.Laura? Sorrythat was.

Does she always multitask like that? Chloe was amazed at how she seeminglymaintained a handle on things.

Buggy shook her head. Amazing isnt it? and now it was for her to take a few stepsaway from the little group, but a playfully suspicious Savannah put out a hand.

Hey! Where areyou going? Bath and Body Works? Brookstone? Pottery Barn?

Pottery? NoFood Court. Its right down there. Im thirsty. Isnt anybody elsethirsty? My treat.

Tea.Id like tea, Savannah confessed. Iced tea with lemon.

Tea it is. Chloe?

Lemonade. Although she did not reveal it outwardly, she was delighted at feeling like apart of a group of women that had known one another for such a long time.

Lemonade. Donna?

A bottle of water.

Tina?

Hmm? Tina was finally flipping her cell phone shut and sighing with obvious relief.

Im going to the Food Court. Do you want anything to drink?

Ohuhbottled waters fine for me too. Thanks.

Be right backand I swearI will not stop anywhere else on the way there or back,she assured them and especially Savannah, who was now glancing immediately around


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her upon realizing that she was standing upon a giant chess board.

The girl seemed to realize that the three-foot tall pieces had remained in place from someearlier match, and since no one else was playing at the moment, Savannah smiled andbegan to think out her move. She was pleasantly surprised Chloe took the opposite side

and with a silent acknowledgement, the two began to play.So is everyone present and accounted forsort of? Donna asked.

iOne night in Bangkok makes a hard man humble, Savannah quietly sang, moving apawn.

Sort of is about right. Lauras at Brookstone and said shes perfectly happy to hang outthere while we shop.

Not much between despair and ecstasy, Chloe countered, maneuvering her chosen

piece. She smiled upon seeing that the younger girl was tickled that someone elseremembered the song.

Shes determined not to do the dressy-dressy again? Donna asked, grinning.

Determined is an understatement. All of the longtime Point residents were well awarethat dressing up was something Laura despised, and she often joked that she would ratherhave major root canal on an entire row of teeth than to come out of her casual wear. Infact, the last time many could recall her wearing any type of formalwear was as maid ofhonor at Tinas wedding and that was over four years before!

Kaz and them were looking for Body Shop and accidentally found the other BodyShop, Tina continued, returning the mobile to its case.

Wait a minute. Why the heck are there two Body Shops in one Mall? Donna wasshaking her head. I get the two Dillards but...

Well, one is Body Shop the beauty and fragrance place

Our competition, Savannah reminded them as she adjusted the placement of her blackknight.

And the other is Body Shop, which is an apparel store

Probably for real skinny women, Donna quipped, causing the rest of them to laugh.

Probably. Tina went on, I dont know Ive never been in therejust walked pastthe windowbut I made the mistake myself once. I meanImIm surprised they caneven get away with calling themselves that.I dont care if one is Body Shop and theother is The Body Shop, and then you know, theres this thirdBody Shop


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Third? the rest said all at once.

Yepright downtown and

And? Savannah had looked up long enough to ask the question that was in all theirminds.

Welllets just say that I worked a crime scene or two in there once upon a time, andon seeing the surprise on her friends faces she added, Its a gentlemens club.

OH! was the simultaneous response, which was quickly followed by laughter.

All nudes, all the time, Tina continued. Actually, they never had a load of problemsconsidering

Freaking incredible, was all Donna could say.So whats the game plan, boss? Savannah asked before whispering, Hmm as shemoved another piece, grunting slightly when Chloe successfully countered it.

We do what we came here to do to finish up if we can; pickup our orders, get whateverelse we might need. I mean, everythings pretty much here. We dont have to hit Oxmooror The Summit unless you all just want to.

Didnt Steph say theres a Sephora in Oxmoor? Donna asked.

Savannahs head shot up, her lovely eyes nearly flaming at the name of yet anothercompetitor. What?

And Ulta is at The Summit, Tina told them.

Oh for The Canadian did not even finish as she groaned and returned to her chesspieces.

And you should genuflect when you say Sephora, Mrs. Biebe reminded them. Stephconsiders that her cathedral do not tell Anthony that, even if he probably alreadyknows.

So we go pickup our things then?

Tina nodded at Donnas question. YeahId like to get that out of the way then we canlook for other things. She glanced at her watch. Weve got plenty of time, and wellhookup with the others when we get on that side.

I wonder if well be able to get Steph out of there. Chloe pointed towards Victorias


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Secret and the ever growing crowd just as Savannah called out, Check!

Tina held up one hand as if in surrender. Ive been in there once during a sale. Neveragain. I dont want to die.

Oh I dont think so, disputed Chloe. Wehaveastalemate.Aw crap! Savannah complained. You owe me another match sometime. I didnt knowyou played chess.

Youre on and yes, yes I do. Im sorry Tina, what were you saying? Youre not going inthere again?

Rightso when we go on the move again Ill hit her on her cell or text her if shes notout here by then. She smiled on seeing that Chloe was again looking ratheroverwhelmed as she hesitantly looked back in the direction from which they had come,

her eyes widening at the sight of the enlarging, never-ending crowd. Stepping closer, sheleaned in and softly said, Pretty intimidating, huh?

Chloe shrugged, smiling. I dont know about that. She could only laugh in someattempt at a response. I dont think I have ever seen anything like this back home, atleast not as far as I know. I guess its nice for you to enjoy it like a regular person, isnt it?I cant imagine you liked Derby much when you were on the department.

Youve got that right! But and her voice seemed to fill with poignancy. yeahyeah it is niceI meanenjoying Derby like a regular person. And hey, I love a girlsday out.

Well, I want to thank you for letting me tag along.

Tag along? You didnt tag along; youre our friend and my guest

But Ive only been at the Pointwhat? Three days? Four?

Chloeit doesnt matter. There is no way we were going to make this trip and just leaveyou behind, no matter what excuses you came up with. She glanced around at the others,who were slightly distracted at the moment, and grinning asked Arent you glad westopped over on Frankfort Avenue?

OhmyGod, yes. Yes Im so glad you wanted to go there first.

We had time.

Im glad we did! I meanwhere does she find those things?

I dont know, but shes remarkable, thats a fact. When I made that burglary there years


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ago I spent as much time looking at the merchandise as I did working my scene.

Well I can see why. You all could have left me there and come back and picked me upwhen you were done.

And let you miss picking out your Derby and Oaks outfits andyour hats too? No waybut I know what you mean andthatis one beautiful gown.

I saw it and I was like. She started shaking her head, causing the Kentuckian torealize that another apology might be forthcoming. I couldnt resist, she gushed.

I know.

Tina had seen the glow on Chloes features the moment the woman caught sight of it not on a typical rack but displayed on a full-length mannequin so that the completeeffect could be immediately observed. It was eye-catching; there was no mistake about

that, and not as flamboyant as one might expect from the late Victorian or the Edwardianeras. Instead it combined a simple cut with a flattering elegance that was not ostentatiousand would make the wearer feel quite feminineand even beautiful. Chloe hadtentatively fingered one edge, sighed, lovingly admired it and looked at the price tag.Then she heaved an even louder sighand immediately received a very gentle reminderfrom her hostess about their shopping trip. Before long, the shop manager had removedthe gown from the model and was assisting the archaeologist back in the changing room.Sometime later, Chloe was gazing with astonishment at the figure in the mirror, amazedat how one dress could make such a transformation of a person; she modeled it for thegroup, asking their opinions; glared in the mirror again; received some helpfulsuggestions from the owner; and glared at the reflectionagain!

When the women departed the vintage shop an hour later, Chloe was proudly bearing theprecious box in her hands as if she had discovered the long-missing tomb of some greatPharaoh.

So do you think I ought to wear it towell, which ball is which? I meanwhich one doyou think it would work best at? I meana ball. How many balls have I ever been to?

Tina thought momentarily. Ihmmwellmaybe the Derby Ball.Thats the finalone Saturday night it might work there, but hey, lets wait until we get your other gownand then we can make up your mind. Tina giggled. Did you hear me? We can make upyour mind. Was that some kind of Freudian slip on my part? John says Im so protectiveof everybody.

Chloe was laughing too. Well, you allhelping me make up my mind isnt far from thetruth. Ill probably need all the help I can get though so youre probably not too far offbase.Hey Tina?

Yeah? She was watching Donna wave at her and point at something in one of the


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jewelry stores glass display units. She mouthed be right there and then concentrated onChloe once more. Whats up?....Chloe?

I The Texans voice grew so low that Tina had to step closer to hear her, especiallyover the din of the other shoppers. I dont know how to thank you.

Oh ChloeChloeweve discussed this before. You dont have to thank John and meagain.

But...the car repair, the suite, the other clothes...the food! Good Lord, I can't even beginto pay you back!"

So dont try. Ive already told you everything is taken care of. Dont worry aboutDont worry about what you spend or what you might owe or

But

No! Nomorebuts, okay? Weve been over this. Quit looking at the price tags.Just and Tina took a deep breath as if encouraging Chloe to do the same. Just enjoyyourself. Relax and have fun andI dont knowrelax. After all, one gown down, onemore to go, and you even found your accessories to go with itand I happened tothinkmaybe we do want to check out Victorias Secret after all.

Why? Oh! A corset, right? Chloe suddenly remembered that she would likely need one.The shop had a few in stock, but as it was a vintage store, the inventory was limited andunfortunately each of those appeared to have belonged to Scarlett OHara or some otherSouthern belle with a fourteen inch waist!

Or a bustier. One that wont cut off your breathing or crush your bones or make youthrow up.Lane Bryant usually sells them too; I got my bustier there a few years ago.

Okay. Lookcan I just thank you? Profusely? For everything?

Tina only smiled, a slight blush creeping into her cheeks. Lets see what Donnas up to,okay? Ive been looking for a nice pair of earrings.

For Derby?

I dont need a special occasion for a new pair of earrings, Tina joked, tugging onChloes arm. Ask anybody.Isnt that right, Donna?

What?

That I dont need a special occasion for some new earrings.

Donna rolled her eyes. Good goddess no, no she doesnt. Thats one of her


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weaknessesthat andCoach bags.

Tina shook her head as though shocked. Shhthats a secret.So what the heck areyou looking at?

Upon Bugdogs return with their drinks, they continued to linger in the same vicinity,partially to await Stephanies eventual return and to reorganize themselves as they did abit more window shopping. When the women were once more a group and had theopportunity to Oooo and Ah over their friends purchases they were moving again.

So I guess we hit Dillards next? Savannah asked, briefly turning her head on spyingsomething interesting.

Tina nodded, her eyes shifting to see the store over to her left. Yeahthats what I wassaying earlier. We need to hit Brooks Brothers on the way back though. Ive got to pickupJohns order and Buds and

Well maybe when come back this way we can stop at the cars and drop-off everythingand double back, Donna suggested. Steves got his order in there too.Hey Steph? Didyou shop for Anthony or let him pick his own stuff out?

The attorneys eyes widened as she started to laugh. Are you kidding? He may be allthings bless his heart, but choosing his Derby wardrobe is not one of them. It was easierfinding the kids thingswhich I also need to pickup too. Theyre at Dillardsrightthere, and she pointed at the one that handled men and childrens items. Oh theresLaura! They waved at her as they passed Brookstone, playfully motioning that sheshould join them but getting a vehement shaking of the head in response.

Do they have Dillards in Texas, Chloe? Tina asked her as they started down the longcorridor that led into yet another busy section of the Mall.

Yep, we do.

Theyre a Derby sponsor here, her hostess explained, so they sort of have everythingyou need clothing-wise: Derby hats, Derby outfits you know. I just hope they still have anice supply of hats for you to choose from. They ought to. Theyre usually pretty goodabout that.

Now thatI'm looking forward to. I love hats, Chloe excitedly told them.

Tina turned and gave Savannah one of those told you so expressions before the youngerwoman laughed. Fineso Im outnumbered. Im still not sure Im one. Now you seethem looking all innocent, and she indicated Stephanie and Tina. They werent this waya couple of weeks ago. Theyforcedme to try one

Forced? Tinadid you hear that? Stephanie said. Were being slandered.


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Is she okay? Chloe wondered, looking behind them as the crowds concealed Tinasfigure.

I think so, Savannah replied, although she, too, was also curious as to what had

captured the Louisvillians attention so quickly and caused her to draw away.Maybe its homesickness, Donna added. I meanI know shed go off sometimesabout things that bugged her about living here butwellthis is where she grew up. Shespent her whole life here.

Does she get back very often? Chloe asked. Despite having only known her personallyfor a few days, she could not help but be concerned about the woman who had introducedher to the universe of the Crowes Point.

Yes she does, Stephanie told her. We both get back to Kentucky a few times a year for

a whole lot of reasons.ActuallyI think Tina was here a couple or three weeks back. Ifigured that was to visit her mom.

Oh, Chloe said.

Savannah cleared her throat and grinned in an attempt to lighten what had suddenlybecome a rather somber group. So what were you saying about Sid, Chloe?

Huh? Ohjust that I figured his golfing outfit was Armani.

Everyone laughed and Donna asked, Heywhy was he annoying you anyway? Imeanother than the usual.

The latest arrival hoped that she didnt appear to look too nave. The usual?

You knowflirting; letting you know hes the gift all the women want.

Adalia smiled. Being a total pest.

That too! Savannah added.

They were all surprised when Tina suddenly rejoined them, slightly out of breath fromwalking at a quicker pace to rush to them. I told you Id catch up!

Hey! Donna said. That was quick. We figured youd be back there a while.

Nahnot at all.Phone thats all.So what are you all talking about?

Sid! came the simultaneous response.


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AhOh thats right, Chloeyou were talking about his Armani outfit.

And I was asking her why he was annoying her this morning, Donna reminded them.

Oh Chloe Tina sighed, shaking her head. Im sorry. I hope he wasnt trying to

intimidate you or anything?Oh no, no.ActuallyActually he was verypolite. Scared me to death when hepulled up the way he did.

Was he driving like a bat out of hell? Savannah asked.

Chloe nodded, wondering exactly how far she jumped when he swerved in front of her.Pretty muchbut he apologized. Said he was trying to catch one of us before we left.

Even Adalia appeared surprised. By running you over? Thats not very nice.

Tina furrowed her eyebrows. But thatthat was all he said he wanted?

The women descended a small series of steps while continuing along the same corridor.

Chloe nodded again, determined to say nothing too detailed regarding that briefconversation, although his declarations about CortNo, she would push that aside if shecould. Yeahand you knowI guessI dont knowI thought there wouldbemoreI meanbased on what you all had told me and what Ive heard and

I think that hes decided on a new angle of approach, Stephanie explained.

What do you mean? the newest Texan wondered.

Hes been around so long that Tina began, trying to think of the right words to say,Wellthink about it this way.Hes been at the Point since the early to mid-Nineties orthereabouts and every time some new female appears hes used the same old approachuntil its become almost a tradition.

Adalia laughed. Its almost part of the Point handbookif there was a handbook. Yourereading about all the different things that are available and somewhere in the guidelinesyou see Be hereby warned Everyone chuckled and someone was heard to repeat behereby warned as the chef went on: Be hereby warned: you will expect in the firsthours or days of your arrival an advance from SID 6.7 and his traditional attempt atseducing the new arrival.

With a footnote talking about him being the Point nano-psychotic, Buggy told Chloe,along with some kind of disclaimer.

Hey! Tina exclaimed before she jokingly told them, You all are giving the place a bad


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name.But no, Chloe, I think theyre kind of right.Sid has tried to get away from hisold technique. ItsI think its too well known now. And Im not saying he cant be nicebutyou knowbe careful with him.

I will, Chloe tried to assure herand to reassure herself.

And remember Savannahs voice took on a playful solemnity. You never wantHannibal Lecter inside your head. Everyone laughed.

Thank the goddess Russell never played him, Donna added, shuddering.

There they are! Stephanie waved to their missing companions who were all nowlingering around Godiva, and within moments, the entire group of Point shoppers sansthe missing Chicagoan who was still happily enjoying herself at Brookstone weretogether again.

Not long afterwards they were inside Dillards department store and although they spreadout to various areas depending upon their needs, it seemed as though time stood still asthey blissfully completed their tasks, their minds temporarily consumed by the latestcosmetics, fragrance samples, and the swirl of spring colors in bright cottons and glorioussilks. Scents enticednew lipsticks temptedOne could not help trying a foundation orblush to find the right shadeor to go by a counter and realize that you were suddenlywalking backwards as the name of a new perfume by a familiar company nestled into thesubconscious. Even the ones that did not necessarily enjoy shopping were caught up inthe celebratory atmosphere that was one of Louisvilles busiest times, already knowingthat much of this ambiance was being successfully accomplished at the Point, albeit on asmaller scale. It appeared that it was a tiny bit of the Outside that had found its way intotheir worldand no one minded.

Adalia not only had new toys for her kitchens, but was thinking of having a chance toparticipate in the festivities by attending one party that weekend

For Savannah it was an opportunity to get new ideas for the shop back at the Point, aswell as knowing that what she would wear to all the events would show that while shehad her kooky side, there were occasions when she wanted to be quite feminine andserious

Donna saw every choice as a way of expressing herself and what that other world hadcome to mean to her after her years there

For Stephanie it was a pride in spending money in the commonwealth she loved and didmiss; to luxuriate in everything Clarins and Kate Spade, and to share her passion ofbeautiful things with a husband and children she adored

For Chloe who only vaguely knew of the Kentucky Derby from some mention on theTV news it became an opportunity to feel a part of things and allow her to forget for a


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little what had occurred between her and Sid that morning; the things that made herquestion what she felt for Cort

For everyone it was a chance to have fun!

And for Tina it was watching how the others enjoyed themselveswhether it was here inDillards or later at Claires and Payless, at Cach and Brooks Brothers, at Body Shopand The Body Shop.She was drawing her strength from the company of those shecared about, letting herself be a total girly-girl as she collected her gowns, dresses, shoesand hats; tried on and purchased some favorite perfume or a new lip color, and smiledand laughed at the joking and conversation of women from so many backgrounds anddiffering lives.

Every now and then though, what she had shoved aside and locked in one of thenumerous file cabinets of her brain would make its way forward and she would think ofher last visit to Louisvillethe unknownthose annoying fibroids.Not an hour went

by when she did not think of them in some capacity.But try not todayshe scolded her thoughts as the salesmen at Brooks Brothers began tocarry out the numerous items that had been ordered for many of the Points men. Shetried to smile as she considered the very nice commission these employees wouldreceive; pushed aside the memories of the doctors examination as she nodded and gaveher final approval and heard the exclamations of her girlfriends as the orders weredisplayed one by one before being bagged. She thought of Johnof when she hadbrought him here so many years before when they had first become involvedthe lovelysweaters with the little golden ram emblem proudly worn even now.

Push it aside.Dont keep thinking about itDont keep thinking about it.You haventgotten the results back yet.Dont keep thinking about it.

Tinaare we going to have dinner here or wait until we get back home? Stephanieasked as five Brooks Brothers salespersons each carrying some of the orders from theirstore accompanied the women to their vehicles. They were all rushing a bit as it wasspitting rain. I meanwe still have a few hours yet before the malls start to close soweve got time.

Push it asidePush it aside. I was thinking Tina announced to all of them,smiling, how about we go to Kingfish for dinner when were finally done? You all in themood for seafood?


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iOne Night in Bangkok: from the musical Chess; music by former ABBA members Bjrn Ulvaeus and Benny Anderssonwith lyrics by Tim Rice.

Part Three

**This part contains references related to a scene in part nine ofAshoken Falls.

Tuesday, 2 May 2006 Derby Week

The moment a delighted Cort gave his thanks and walked out the office door, closing it behind him, thesmile that Tina had managed to keep for most of their conversation immediately faded, and placing onehand over her mouth, her eyes closed as she tried to think. When her brother-in-law arrived, she wasonly just hanging up the phone, and there was barely time to take anything into consideration for hisarrival came almost seconds later. There was no way to reflect on the news as she concentrated on whathe was telling her. She realized that once or twice the faade was nearly revealed, especially onnoticing that Cort seemed to detect that something was not quite right, but her recovery was soimmediate, she prayed that had he seen anything he believed it in error. The last thing she desiredwas for someone else to hear the news before she had even informed her husband.

And then she thought of John John who was becoming as anxious as she about the news, butcontinued to hide it so well, to do what he could to hold her up when she felt she might falter. Were itnot for him and the strength he exhibited, even when she was as afraid as she.

But she still did not move, continuing to sit behind the desk in that same position, trying as best shecould to remember every word that was said, and thinking that the news had come so quickly after sucha long wait.

There was a knock on the door, causing her to sit up straight and force the sweetest smile. Yes?

benign confusion master

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