birth fathers of children adopted after care proceedings project a small qualitative pilot study by...
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Birth fathers of children adopted after care proceedings project
A small qualitative pilot study by John Clifton
Why this project? [1]
Most children now adopted after court proceedings
Social workers have difficulty engaging parents especially fathers
Some evidence fathers feel their perspectives are not heard
Why this project? [2]
Best practice to enhance child’s identity is usually to work with fathers
Adoption agencies have duty to support for birth relatives
Local authorities now have a “gender equality duty” to consider the “equal but different” needs of men and women
Why this project? [3]
Children’s services typically centred on the needs of women and children
Deficit thinking common regarding fathers [O’Brien 2004] references
What clues do we have about birth father perspectives?
Aim: benefiting their children
Origins of the project
Portfolio for MA Essay for International
Perspectives unit compared UK and South African men
Reflection on previous practice Parents attending panels Own experience as a father
The literature [1]
Comparatively few studies of birth fathers of adopted children
Main UK studies [Clapton 2003; Witney 2005] research fathers of children relinquished in past decades
Previous adoption paradigm References
The literature [2]
Samples through adoption support voluntaries and Adoption Contact Register
Show fathers’ ongoing distress and concern for their children similar to birth mothers’
Literature review
Assumptions about research and practice [1]
Men [even perpetrators of harm to children] can be engaged with purposefully
Central focus must be child’s best interests
Safety of women partners and workers important [Daniel and Taylor 2001 p9]
References
Assumptions about research and practice [2]
Fathers matter to children in various ways: e.g. carers, providers, sources of identity
In adoption, identity often a central issue for adopted people
Information about birth fathers often missing
Records often do not contain birth father’s part of adoption narrative literature review
The research question
What perspectives do birth fathers of children adopted from care have in relation to their child’s adoption?
Definitions
Why qualitative approach taken [1]
Comparative paucity of information
Unable to confidently predict their key issues
Need to build rapport and trust Approach needs to maximise
chances that they will consent
Why qualitative approach taken [2]
Openness to hearing their perspectives
Quantitative approach inappropriate:
Obtaining a large sample impractical and..
Clear variables for hypothesis construction cannot be identified
Project design “Grounded theory” [Strauss &
Corbin 1998] reference Sample size of 3-5 subjects Conduct in depth interviews with
mostly open questions flowing from research question
Analyse by successive codings to derive “middle range” explanatory theory about subject’s perspectives
Sample – child cohort [1] Fathers recruited from Suffolk
children looked after placed for adoption or adopted between 1 April 2005 & 27 February 2007
n=162 children of which- 156 [96%] subject to care order/
freeing/ or placement order 6 [4%] relinquished for adoption
following accommodation
Sample – child cohort [2]
Of the 156 children adopted or placed after a court order
99 [63%] were adopted 57 [37%] were placed for
adoption Identity of children and social
workers obtained from adoption agency CHARMS database
Sample – father’s referral process [1]
Social workers asked to consider all fathers on the list
Social worker/ manager must agree approach to potential subject
Initial approach by social worker, manager or researcher
Then by researcher phone call & letter
Sample – father’s referral process [2]
Subjects ruled out where there was risk of violence or disruption of child’s placement
Agreed subjects ruled out where family in subsequent care proceedings or in crisis
Pros and cons of relying on “insider” access and making contact through social workers
Sample - reasons for exclusionn
Father identity unknown 12
Father cannot be traced 12
Father deceased 4
Father imprisoned 5
Risk of violence or tracing 4
Father refused 2
No social worker 7
Current crisis/care proceedings 6
Other 3
Sample – father’s referral process [3]
Social workers mostly very helpful and interested but some too busy
Where high staff turnover parents out of touch [especially fathers] within 1-2 years
A few comments suggesting negative stereotyping of fathers or “gender blindness” [Daniel & Taylor 2001 p 220] reference
Sample – Staff comments
Social work manager: I don’t agree with the basic
premise of your research…fathers get exactly the same treatment as everyone else.
Social worker: I don’t know why you want to
talk to him - he’s a confirmed drug addict.
Sample – obtaining subjects Great persistence and flexibility
needed to locate subjects and encourage them to participate
Several “no shows” for agreed interviews at social services offices
Therefore, all but one subjects interviewed in their own homes
Sample – profiles of subjects [1]
Late 20’s. White British. Living with partner [mother of child adopted] at parents’ home. Employment scheme. No further children
Early 30’s. Mixed heritage. Living in temporary accommodation. Separated from child’s mother. Not working. No other children. Problematic history of adoption.
Sample – profiles of subjects [2]
Mid 30’s. White British. Living with new partner and her children and their child. Full time work.
Late 40’s. White British. Living with wife [mother of children adopted]. Full time work. All their children either adopted or permanently fostered.
Sample – profiles of subjects [3]
Early 60’s. White British. Living with wife [mother of children adopted]. Disabled by serious stroke. All their children either adopted or permanently fostered.
Data collection [1]
In depth interviews of about 1 hour
Opening question: When you look back now about
your child’s adoption what things come to mind?
Informant encouraged to develop and expand answers & open new areas
Data collection [2]
Subsidiary questions as prompts Topics: Involvement in decision
making Fairness issues Effects on father of child’s
adoption Possibility of future contact Adoption support Questions
Data collection [3]
Interviews audiotaped Transcribed verbatim Imported into qualitative
research programme Nvivo for analysis
Data analysis
Each script “open coded” Open codes defined Possible categories identified
through “axial coding” Develop key categories from
which theory may be developed
Interim results [1] All data [5 scripts] open coded
using Nvivo example 302 open codes identified list Codes organised in trees for
ease of access Selected open codes defined
example Memos and diagrams to
develop categories memo
Interim results [2]
Insufficient time to complete formal category development
Interim findings based upon: Some category development Summarising and selecting
themes frequently mentioned or given emphasis by subjects &..
informed by research question
Interim results [3]
Perspectives related to father attributes
Fathers in family during care proceedings [3]
Father in forced accommodation case [1]
Father out of family during care proceedings [1]
Interim findings on fathers’ perspectives
Feelings of loss Experience of exclusion Focus on possible future
meeting Rationalisations Coping strategies Is support acceptable? The delight and pain of letterbox
contact
Feelings of loss [1]
Acute sense of loss anger and distress
Two considered suicide Double loss of child and partner Ongoing yearning for the child Comparisons with bereavement
Feelings of loss [2]
Acute distress, anger and sadness Yes, it's all sort of come at... collapsed
together. It's like a balloon. You can't -- if you pop a balloon, it all pops and goes down, not just half of it. The lot goes down together -- collapsed together. When I eventually realised that I haven't got my children to m -- me my life was just finished....
more
Feelings of loss [3]
Two considered suicide I really felt like killing myself to be
honest with you. And I never would, but that’s how I felt.
more
Feelings of loss [4]
The possible “double whammy” of losing partner and child ...I was so distraught when I lost
the both of them.
Feelings of loss [5]
Continual yearning and concern for adopted child I think about him every day. …I've got a son out there
somewhere. That’s all I know. I've got one out there somewhere. He could be…three streets away; he could be miles away. I just don’t know where he is.
Feelings of loss [6]
Compared to bereavement Worse for some…
To--- to realise that you've lost a part of your life. Your children are parts of your life. By taking a child they gently they've.. well...em... what do you call it, tightening the n- round your throat...
…the way I was thinking about it since my dad died: that was painful, but losing my son was even worse.
Feelings of loss [7]
…than for others: It’s not as extreme as if you lose
someone through death. But then, in a way, if you think of it along them terms, it’s a fact. I wouldn’t say it’s a bereavement but it’s a bereavement of a s-sort.
Feelings of loss [8]
Feelings may change over time That’s like when my dad died, I
talk about how I felt then; how I feel now about it. Same as S: how I felt then; how I feel now; how I might feel in the future.
Feelings of loss [9]
For some, pain diminishes: Most of the pain has gone and
that but I'll still-I'll always have a bit there
Feelings of loss [10]
Strongest sense of loss & guilt for father out of family I blame myself every day [unclear].
That-that-that is my fault. He's not here. I could’ve-I could’ve made the decision for him to stay here. But would he have been happy? I know he's happy where he is. That’s not very sort of-that’s not very good for me …but…I'm happy-deep down I'm happy because… he's happy…
Experience of exclusion [1]
Deficit thinking Assessment a closed process Being subordinated Disadvantaged in meetings Fathers unequal to mothers Odds against in care
proceedings Exception: out of family father
Experience of exclusion [2]
Deficit thinking …all they did really was ignore
most of the good and take the bad which – that's not the way to do it. We barely did a bad thing wrong but they accused us that we did.
Experience of exclusion [3]
Assessment a closed process I wanted to see him as much as I
could 'cos basically we knew the circumstances and what was going to happen.
Experience of exclusion [4]
Being subordinated to social services And each parent has their own
way of bring up a kid but-we had to do it their way, which, anyone knows that's not going to work. You have your own techniques but nah! You had to use their rules. We couldn't. Basically, it was their rules or fail straight away.
Experience of exclusion [5]
Disadvantaged in meetings Then, they go round, say things and
that like: what could be done and that and how you felt and the-they asked me and that-pfff!-that 's when I kicked off 'cos… that's the only time they really wanted me to talk…is when they ask my point of it. And it's like, well…I'm blatantly-I'm the kid's dad, yeah. I'm involved in this kind of stuff. But they made me not… involved with it. More
Experience of exclusion [6]
The odds stacked against the birth father in care proceedings When they-not in these words-but
they basically said "go to court, fight a losing battle or sign the papers". Not them sort of words and that but that was the worst moment that... signing the papers for adoption and that. I cried all day believe it or not. more
Focus on possible future meeting [1]
A longed-for future event Preparing for it Wanting to set the record
straight Worry about how the meeting
will go Will child reject father? Hedging bets
Focus on possible future meeting [2]
A longed-for future event I'm wishing my life away to the
day he comes…and he knocks at the door…… all I'm hoping for is…the day he knocks on the door. That’s all I'm aiming for in life.
More
Focus on possible future meeting [3]
Preparing for it But I've just got to work through it
and that’s my aim. Then I can express my feelings to people and that and then they should understand them and give me advice: like, what I could have done; what I could do in the future if he comes knocking and everything.
Focus on possible future meeting [4]
Wanting to set the record straight But I'm hoping he'll sit down and
let me explain it, and then, take him for a beer or whatever, go for a kick about-do the stuff I couldn't do.
More
Focus on possible future meeting [5]
Worry about how the meeting will go I don’t know how I'm going to react if T
ever knocks on the door…you know. I know what I want to do. I wanna, y’know… bring him in give him a cuddle…tell him how much I love him. But when I see him, I don’t know what I'm going to do. I might-for all I know I could slam the door in his face and go: “who are you? What are you doing?”
Focus on possible future meeting [6]
Will child reject father? I don’t know. I don’t know. I
honestly don’t know. I just-there’s something there where…he's just not going to want to come and see me 'cos of what I've done
more
Focus on possible future meeting [7]
Hedging bets We haven’t given it any thought. I
mean obviously we do the letterbox contact and whatnot and then if they decide “yes, we want to…meet…mum and dad”, then that’s a decision they have got to make when they [emphasis] are 18.
Rationalisations [1]
My children weren’t really abused...not like some
It’s best for the child not to fight Bargaining Refusing to say goodbye
Rationalisations [2]
My children weren’t really abused...not like some Er...its ... allright for the children
that have been abused by their parents and been...em... battered by their parents but otherwise the adoptions business is a very bad thing for the fathers who hasn't abused their children.
Rationalisations [3]
There's worse off children out there and the social services don’t even get involved.
Then you get good people like me and L [partner's name] which-yeah we've had bad stuff happen, [unclear] done some stupid stuff... and we go through hell basically which I really think that is unfair 'cos you get people out there what batter their kids and they still get to keep them
Rationalisations [4]
It’s best for the child not to fight Y'know: Why did it happen? Why didn’t
you fight it? Was-would be the u-the usual-well: Why didn’t you let it go to court? Why didn’t you fight it? So, what’s the point of that because…they're going to win and what are you doing? You thinking of yourself [emphasis] or you thinking of the kids. And…if the children sense there's a problem they're gonna-they're gonna pick up-it’s going to affect them [emphasis].
Rationalisations [5]
Bargaining One-one of the key stipulations
we had with this was, was 'cos there was two had been fostered; two been adopted: that they must have sibling contact.
Rationalisations [6]
Refusing to say goodbye It took one signature and for E just
to give Up on A and I said: “no, I'm not going to, because I'm not going to say goodbye to her”. Y'know, I didn’t meet the family-the adoptive parents for that very reason-I didn’t want to say goodbye to her.
Coping strategies [1]
To withdraw from the fight Just get on with it Blocking out the memories Making changes for the child’s
sake Knuckling down to work Managing feelings differently
Coping strategies [2]
To withdraw from the fight [Unclear] I'm glad... well I'm not
glad.....glad I don't have to deal with them no more. It could have got dragged through the court that I said "no, I've had too much pain. I'm not having more". Um.... I can't think of anything else. Just, how much it hurt.
Coping strategies [3]
Just get on with it So I just live day by day; take what
comes and thank the Lord that I still am here that day.
Just get on with it. [unclear] I go to work; I've got me kids here; got me girlfriend: Get on with it. If I keep myself busy…em…I don’t-I don’t sort of-I don’t get into the point where I'm thinking about him-ah, I'm thinking about him all the time but I don’t get to the point where I'm getting depressed about it…but I do miss him.
Coping strategies [4]
Blocking out the memories Q: Was there anything that helps you to
think positively about your children? Is there anything that helps you get through, get through the day?
A: I blank -- blank it out my mind....... I very rarely look up there [looks up at pictures of adopted children] I very rarely set up on that -- look up on that wall. I block it out.. [Long pause]...
Coping strategies [5]
Making changes for the child’s sake All I think about is what would it be like
if he was here. What would we be doing? Where would we be and what job would I have? I just-makes me want to change like-do it all [emphasis]-but without him. You just get upset most of the time about it. I think I …can’t be getting upset. I need to be strong-I need to…look to the future…and that’s what I do. More
Coping strategies [6]
Knuckling down to work I've knuckled down, trying to get a
job now but at first I wouldn't….. I think that was just down to being lazy… and now I realise that I've got to get a job, get some income and that, get my own house, provide for we'll have more children. More
Coping strategies [7]
Managing feelings differently I wish I could “blah blah”. I'm not
sounding girly but I wish I could and that….. But it’s something I've got to work on as…myself and that. I've got to conquer that fear of talking about me emotions and stuff.
Coping strategies [8]
Managing feelings differently contd I'm not a very open person. Em…
oh, I'd rather keep things bottled up. Then when they do sort of come out, it comes out the wrong way. I get angry [emphasis] …and it’s not with anyone- it’s with myself.
Is support acceptable? [1]
Thoughts about accepting help Counselling an unacceptable
model Wanting to meet other birth
fathers
Is support acceptable? [2]
Thoughts about accepting help I'm always getting told off for it by-by my
girlfriend, she's always saying: “ask for help; ask for something; do something; get something done about it”. I just can't ask for help. I don’t-I don’t mean to do it but I push people away when I'm doing something because… that’s mine-it’s my thing; I'm doing it and I want to do it right… em…and I just get angry.
More
Is support acceptable? [3]
Counselling an unacceptable model I don’t…em... have experience with
counselling [unclear] I got the blame for everything that happened to me and I weren’t happy. I thought well was it my fault? [unclear] but I'm supposed to talk. I know it wasn’t my fault but then get the blame for it. Why do I want to go back and go for more counselling?
Is support acceptable? [4]
Wanting to meet other birth fathers …they're going through it. Like I
said, learning from their mistakes; give advice what to do if they’ve done something wrong. And that’s basically it: just have support from other dads what’s had it done.
Is support acceptable? [5]
Wanting to meet other birth fathers [continued] The way you do it! Sitting down,
getting the information, speaking to two or three different people and as-as-if you had four people sitting round this table and we all discuss it.
The delight and pain of letterbox contact [1]
Letters and photos much valued- photos particularly
Some suspicion of adopters Reply letters agonisingly difficult
to write Longing for live interaction
The delight and pain of letterbox contact [2]
Letters and photos much valued- photos particularly We read the letter and that and
pulled out the picture. L started crying. Just… the pure shock of knowing he's-he looked totally different. He looked a lot-he looked a lot happier…having the time of his life and the best life possible
The delight and pain of letterbox contact [3]
Some suspicion of adopters I think what happens a lot, happens like
my children (the little boys there) [points at photo of his children who were adopted] . They'd been adopted, they are C and L [names his children]. I've got a feeling the same thing' s happens now that they washed, yes brainwashed to make other people -- the other people -- are its parents and not.. not us sort of thing.
The delight and pain of letterbox contact [4]
Reply letters agonisingly difficult to write …I find it hard [emphasis] writing
back, it is… I can talk [emphasis] …em…having a conversation, but writing it down-I know what I want to say up here [points to head]. Soon as I write it down on paper-that doesn’t-it’s exactly the same as what was in my head but it doesn’t look or sound right.
The delight and pain of letterbox contact [5]
Longing for live interaction All I've seen is a picture that catches
that one moment but… what led up to it? What happened afterwards? That’s-that’s-that’s what's not fair….. I'd like to sort of have it on the web cam. If I could get their email address-I-if it was allowed [emphasis], I'd have their email address and say right, OK, can we speak to him today, 'cos then…em... the other kids could see him and they can see-they ca- see and I can see-with a picture you catch that one moment.
Subjects’ “offline” comments [1]
One subject sought advice on tracing his own adoptive mother
One discussed difficulty explaining feelings to partner
One expressed isolation and desire to meet other fathers
Subjects’ “offline” comments [2]
One offered support to other fathers
All wanted feedback on results 4/5 said they would like to hear
feedback as a group All but one wanted transcript
Discussion – feelings of loss [1]
Echoes previous findings: Birth mothers (Bouchier et al
1991) Birth fathers of relinquished
children (Clapton 2003; Witney 2005)
Birth parents have profound and continuing grief reactions and continue to worry about their children
Discussion - feelings of loss [2]
Differences in circumstances: Care proceedings & Closeness to separation don’t
seem to make much difference Questions: does anger/
contention change grieving? Does modern relinquishment
make parting harder to bear?
Discussion – experience of exclusion [1]
Parallels with Mason and Selman [1997] More
Birth fathers involved in care proceedings feel overwhelmed by powerful forces
Some hints about improving that experience at the margins- empowerment at meetings; status respect; more men in workforce
Discussion – focus on possible future meeting
Hugely important issue for these fathers and preoccupies them
Men and adoption contact – historical comparisons
Now, most adoptions have a letterbox arrangement
Living parallel lives Living “on hold” Fluctuating expectations
Discussion – is support acceptable?
Will talk about feelings in the right context
Counselling model not acceptable
Fathers need highly proactive outreach
They stress advice giving and receiving- helping others!
Want to meet other fathers
Discussion – Letterbox
Fathers want more interactive forms of contact
Photos much valued…. Then news Return letters agonisingly
difficult to write Consider innovation using
technologies? DVDs/webcams etc
Discussion – beyond description to explanation [1]
Grounded theory is meant to move beyond description to explanation - predictive
Use of literature, memoing, for constant comparison
Suggesting areas for category development & theoretical sampling
Discussion – beyond description to explanation [2]
Comparison from chronically ill men study by Charmaz [1994]
Similarities in the men and the challenge faced
How do these men cope with life changing crises
Crises threaten “men’s taken for granted masculine identities”
Discussion – beyond description to explanation [3]
Identity dilemmas: Risking activity vs. forced
passivity Remaining independent vs.
becoming dependent Maintaining dominance vs.
becoming subordinate Preserving a public persona vs.
acknowledging private feelings
Discussion – beyond description to explanation [4]
Questioning masculine identity Connell [1995]: decline of
“hegemonic masculinity” Many “masculinities” instead Where are our birth fathers in
spectrum? Informs key responses? Consider data re expression of
feelings/ partner empathy/ “kicking off”/ being absent/ “children weren’t really abused” etc
Discussion- typologies [5]
“Typologies” of birth fathers would help commissioning
Trial of practice initiatives aimed at particular sub groups
Starting with most accessible and moving out
Evolving practice knowledge and skills
How to take the study forward [1]
More formal category development
Sensitisation to new issues Describe findings to existing
subjects and obtain feedback Increase sample quantity Sample “theoretically” to test
emerging theory
How to take the study forward [2]
Seek fathers with particular attributes: e.g. ethnic minorities; prisoners
Sample through other sources: via media advertising; prison service; voluntary organisations; etc
Develop typologies
Practice & policy pointers [1]
Much more care is taken to identify and engage fathers
Where teams are in flux knowledge of and contact with fathers disappears quickly
Databases and records don’t always capture precious father information
Still significant minority of children “lose” birth fathers
Practice & policy pointers [2]
Few social workers/ managers are openly dismissive of birth fathers
But…little evidence of a “gendered approach” to safeguarding or adoption issues
Additional training for social workers/ managers to equip them for their key role
Practice & policy pointers [3]
No adoption support services there which make sense to fathers CSCI
Fathers profoundly affected by their child’s adoption
Fathers deserve a service in their own right and for children’s sake
Traditional counselling model inappropriate (counselling skills still apply)
Practice & policy pointers [4]
Need to provide tailored adoption support for fathers
Approach must be highly proactive- outreach not in-drag
Look at father-inclusive practice across the board top 10 tips
New “Gender Equality Duty” requires action more
Recommendations [1]
Audit services for “father friendliness”
Workshops to support better practice with fathers
Appoint birth family workers More relevant regional
adoption support
Recommendations [2]
Capture key information about each father early
Adapt databases to aid service planning for fathers
Improve the gender equality plan to include fathers
More research into fathers’ perspectives
References – working with fathers in practice
Burgess, A and Bartlett, D Working with fathers Fathers Direct
Daniel, B & Taylor, J Engaging with fathers Jessica Kingsley 2001
Equal Opportunities Commission website http://www.eoc.org.uk/
Fathers Direct website – www.fathersdirect.com
Featherstone, Brid; Rivett, Mark; and Scourfield, Jonathan (2007) Working with men in health and social care Sage London.
References – research Charmaz, Kathy Identity dilemmas of chronically ill
men in Strauss, A & Corbin, J [eds] Grounded theory in practice Thousand Oaks CA: Sage
Clapton, Gary (2003) Birth Fathers and their Adoption Experiences Jessica Kingsley, London.
Clapton, Gary (2007) The experiences and needs of birth fathers in adoption: what we know now and some practice implications Practice 19 (1) March 2007 pages 61-71.
CSCI (2006)Adoption: messages from inspections of adoption agencies
Flouri, E (2005) Fathering and child outcomes John Wiley and Son, Chichester.
Haralambos, M & Holborn, M (2004) Sociology: themes and perspectives HarperCollins London.
References – research Mason, Kathy & Selman, Peter (1997) Birth parents’
experience of contested adoption Adoption and Fostering 21 (1) 21-28.
Melrose, M (2000) Fixing it: young people drugs and disadvantage Russell House Publishing Lyme Regis.
Melrose M and Dean H (1996) Unravelling citizenship: the significance of social security benefit fraud Critical Social Policy 16 (3).
Strauss, A and Corbin, J (1998) Basics of Qualitative Research: Techniques and Procedures for Developing Grounded Theory Sage, London.
Witney, Celia (2005) Over half a million fathers: An exploration into the experiences of fathers involved in adoption in the mid 20th century in England and Wales
Journal of Social Work 5 (1) 83-99.
ContentsWhy this project
Origins of project
Literature
Assumptions
Research question
Why Qualitative approach
Project design
Sample - child cohort
Sample - fathers’ referral process
Sample - reasons for exclusion
Sample – staff comments
Sample – getting subjects
Profiles of subjects
Data collection
Data analysis
Interim results
Interim findings summary
Feelings of loss
Experience of exclusion
Focus on possible future meeting
Rationalisations
Coping strategies
Is support acceptable?
Letterbox contact
Subjects’ offline comments
Discussion
How to take study forward
Practice and policy pointers
Recommendations
References