Birth OrderBirth Order

Why You Are The Why You Are The Way You AreWay You Are

How Can three or four or even eight little How Can three or four or even eight little cubs be so different and yet come from the cubs be so different and yet come from the

very same den?very same den?

Yes, there are exceptions to the standard birth Yes, there are exceptions to the standard birth order rules but the exceptions are explainable order rules but the exceptions are explainable when you understand how birth order workswhen you understand how birth order works..

Birth Order is the science of understanding your Birth Order is the science of understanding your place in the family line. place in the family line.

Wherever you landed, it has affected your life Wherever you landed, it has affected your life in countless waysin countless ways..

Birds of a Feather Birds of a Feather Flock Together!Flock Together!

The first 23 American astronauts sent into outer The first 23 American astronauts sent into outer space, 21 were first borns and the other two space, 21 were first borns and the other two were only children.were only children.

A great number of presidents and pastors are first A great number of presidents and pastors are first borns. All presidents have been first born males borns. All presidents have been first born males in their family. (Excellent chances of developing in their family. (Excellent chances of developing first born traits and functioning as first borns, first born traits and functioning as first borns, which undoubtedly helped them be effective in which undoubtedly helped them be effective in their role of president and leader.their role of president and leader.

1992 Presidential 1992 Presidential CampaignCampaign

ClintonClinton (first born)- suave, confident, loaded (first born)- suave, confident, loaded with answers, and projected strong with answers, and projected strong leadership ablitiesleadership ablities

BushBush (middle child)- used a mediating (middle child)- used a mediating negotiating style, even while in debatenegotiating style, even while in debate

PerotPerot (last born)- hard hitting, outspoken, (last born)- hard hitting, outspoken, asked lots of embarrassing questions of asked lots of embarrassing questions of his opponents, and often has the audience his opponents, and often has the audience is stitchesis stitches

Babies of the family who are known Babies of the family who are known and loved by millions of movie and and loved by millions of movie and

TV fansTV fans Eddie MurpheyEddie Murphey Goldie HawnGoldie Hawn Billy CrystalBilly Crystal Joan RiversJoan Rivers Leslie NielsonLeslie Nielson Danny DeVitoDanny DeVito Drew CareyDrew Carey Jim CareyJim Carey Steve MartinSteve Martin Chevy ChaseChevy Chase Charlie ChaplinCharlie Chaplin

Exceptions!Exceptions!

Jay Leno is a baby, but both Johnny Carson and Jay Leno is a baby, but both Johnny Carson and David Letterman are middle children, born David Letterman are middle children, born

second of three.second of three.

Bill Cosby, one of the great comedians of all Bill Cosby, one of the great comedians of all time, is a first born. Cosby holds a doctorate time, is a first born. Cosby holds a doctorate degree, is a perfectionist. He named all of his degree, is a perfectionist. He named all of his children with names beginning with “E” –to children with names beginning with “E” –to

remind them to always seek excellenceremind them to always seek excellence..

Final ExamplesFinal ExamplesNewscasters and talk-show hosts on Newscasters and talk-show hosts on television are often first borns and only television are often first borns and only childrenchildrenPhil Donahue, Oprah Winfrey, Sonia Phil Donahue, Oprah Winfrey, Sonia Friedman, Geraldo Rivera, Arsenio Hall, Friedman, Geraldo Rivera, Arsenio Hall, Sally Jessy Raphael, and Rush LimbaughSally Jessy Raphael, and Rush LimbaughRosie O’Donnell Rosie O’Donnell Walter Cronkhite, Peter Jennings,Ted Walter Cronkhite, Peter Jennings,Ted Koppel, and Dan RatherKoppel, and Dan Rather

Which Traits Fit You Which Traits Fit You BestBest

AA- - Very good bet you are a first born in Very good bet you are a first born in your family.your family.

BB- - Chances are you are a middle childChances are you are a middle child

CC- - Likely you are the Baby in the familyLikely you are the Baby in the family

DD- - The only childThe only child

VariablesVariables SpacingSpacing-- the number of years between childrenthe number of years between children Sex of the child-Sex of the child- and in what sequence males and and in what sequence males and

females are bornfemales are born Physical, mental or emotional differencesPhysical, mental or emotional differences Sibling deaths-Sibling deaths- which, if occurring early, cause the child which, if occurring early, cause the child

below to be “bumped up” to the next birth orderbelow to be “bumped up” to the next birth order AdoptionAdoption-- which, may or may not have an effect on birth which, may or may not have an effect on birth

order, depending on how old the child is when adopted.order, depending on how old the child is when adopted. Birth order positions of parents-Birth order positions of parents- first born parents first born parents

usually run a much different ship than later bornsusually run a much different ship than later borns Relationship between parents-Relationship between parents- parenting style, and parenting style, and

personal values they pass on to their childrenpersonal values they pass on to their children ““critical eye”-critical eye”- constant criticism takes it tollconstant criticism takes it toll Blending of families-Blending of families- in a step family certain birth in a step family certain birth

orders often get stepped onorders often get stepped on

1414 1313

77 55

The Smith Family

1313

33

1414

The Stein Family

1212141416161111

When sex differences create someone “special,” it can put pressure on the child immediately above or below that special

person

The Spencer Family

10101414 1212M

The Jones Family

33

1212

77

1010

77

The Massey Family

1616 1414 1212

The Bryon Family

Dad- first born perfectionist dentist

Mom- first born PTA president, known for getting people organized

Personality and birth Personality and birth order are set after age 5 order are set after age 5 or 6or 6

First BornsFirst BornsTend to be conscientious, well organized, Tend to be conscientious, well organized, serious, goal oriented, achieving, people serious, goal oriented, achieving, people pleasers, believers in authoritypleasers, believers in authority

Others signs include; perfectionist, Others signs include; perfectionist, reliable, list maker, critical, scholarly, self-reliable, list maker, critical, scholarly, self-sacrificing, conservative, supporter of law sacrificing, conservative, supporter of law and order, legalistic, and self reliantand order, legalistic, and self reliant

Two Kinds Of First Two Kinds Of First BornsBorns

Compliant Nurtures and Compliant Nurtures and CaregiversCaregivers

Please othersPlease others Very reliableVery reliable ConscientiousConscientious How-can-I-please-youHow-can-I-please-you Good studentsGood students Needs Mom & Dads approvalNeeds Mom & Dads approval Attract the great white sharks Attract the great white sharks

of lifeof life

The Movers and ShakersThe Movers and Shakers AssertiveAssertive Strong willedStrong willed High achieverHigh achiever Hard driverHard driver Set high goalsSet high goals Badgerlike qualitiesBadgerlike qualities The very traits and abilities The very traits and abilities

that enable you to succeed at that enable you to succeed at work, at church, or in other work, at church, or in other organizations will often work organizations will often work against you in your close against you in your close personal relationshipspersonal relationships

Only ChildOnly ChildConfidentConfident

ArticulateArticulate

Seemingly on top of thingsSeemingly on top of things

Self-centeredSelf-centered

The key to understanding an only child is The key to understanding an only child is knowing why he or she is an only.knowing why he or she is an only.

Excellent candidates for growing up to be Excellent candidates for growing up to be ultra perfectionistsultra perfectionists

Middle ChildMiddle ChildFeeling left outFeeling left outIgnoredIgnoredInsultedInsultedBranching off effectBranching off effectSqueezed from above and belowSqueezed from above and belowImportance of peer groupImportance of peer groupGood mediatorGood mediatorSecretiveSecretiveMentally tough, independentMentally tough, independent

The BabyThe BabyOutgoing charmersOutgoing charmersPersonable manipulatorsPersonable manipulatorsUncomplicatedUncomplicatedAbsent mindedAbsent mindedCarefreeCarefreeAffectionateAffectionateTemperamentalTemperamentalSpoiledSpoiledImpatientImpatientNot taken seriously by familyNot taken seriously by family

The EndThe End

Questions?Questions?