1+4 Smu Ovnmu

rhal w iI opplaquoowd Ai woman w~ll B1k she ill QlIIed bull kobin no 1fT how h~ iru-nlifiel 1f 11 Whr do you mnn youdon r wm to mak~ coffee ta k~ nora waoh m h 10 ro blaquoI wih _ bull ou bull ktbin or ICgtImIhiil And r rh~

hr of oulth druJed rinr aU roo oltenhe fU mlaquokly ino l i~ however cOVIfTfI ampir rhe word aban iI only I hreal~ni rlll 10 hOM Blak WOlTIoOn who intim idaled by rh~ i xu 1ity or who 11ow hromd_ 0 100 ltMined by il and from oumde rheml Black WOIlIfTI in uup from OUr OWn penplaquotiw liPltaki~ up fur OUMva ohrina dDM ri wih one norhror politically nd emotionally arl nOi rhro ~~ ol Black men W~ B1altk women who _k OUr own ltMinitioru ~zill

mVlfTliry mong oulvn wirh ~I W~ haw bero TOUnd wilhin our communilieo for bull IontI Iibullbullnd w~ haw piaid piYOll ptIrtS In lhe su rvival ol how rommuni iel from Ha Sh~p Su hrough HarrWt Tubman 0Daiy Ba and F n n i~ Lou HaIMl to Lon i Hanobeny your Aum Mydi 010 01 woo ii i ~ now

In hro 600 Black peopk _ted lltx of our u bo rnlt~ fighlirlll ~lC h OIhror W~ eannor fford ro do rha in he lOa whtn Waohingron DC hao the hig infam mortaliry r~ olny US dry 60 percen ol the BllKk communi under ry iI Unftllployd and ~ ~ becomii UlgttlTlployabko lnlthinp are on rht inltr~a and Iell Ihn half W ~erd BllKk VOlIln voced in Ih ~ lUI ~I~ lion

How al l you praaicing whabull prnch _ wharrv you pr~lCh and who nac11 i1 1ilfflinc Malcolm OI~ ~ nOl raponoibk for OUr oppi ion bu WI mu be ItOpOIUoishybk forou own libonrion It iI nor pnl lObe l asy bul haw wh t haw lra med and whal WI ha bern gin rha iI Jul W~ haw rhe ~ hOM who cInC ~I UI have giwn to mow beyond h~ plK~ wherr l he _ nding W~

haol dlot rrfelobull bull nd war and un nd our ch i~ Malcolm Xdon nor Ii in hI dry I olhil word read lhem h~ liva In Ih~ ~lI we arner nd UII 10 mow Iong Ihro vi bull io Ih ~ wirh him W~ kine rhe futur~ bull bull w~ll ao bonding to lUviw lhe IfTIOI1lIOUI prnaura ol he P ~lInl bullbullnd rhar i wh1 ir mnno lObo pn olhiotory

Eye co Eye Black Women Hatred and Anger

WI doe rht pai amp0 1roa

EVUI Buc WOMAN in America liva Iik lOlllhen aloll a wide curve ol ncingtr and ux~

My Black womnmiddotnan 10 mol l~n pond r th ~ Wfl ol my mDIIt 1meI guardogtd 1lCMf I know how much ol my lifeao bull ~ frr-h woman il laced hlOUgh with Ihil ~ ol rage It iI an dlaquotric thr ead woven inro ~ ~motional raposrry upon which I lhoc nriall ol my life - a hoiine hoi opring likely to ~p11f n poim leaping out ol my ~ iiIlaquo bull fire on lhoc I ndoltapo How to ain th wilh aauracy rher than okny ir hal been one ol W major laokaof my life

Orh Black women re nor thoc ltIOI au nor lhoc IOUTCl ol rhat pool ol aampIfT1 k Ihil no tt whar rh~ ptIr1cul liluarion may be ~nnd norhlfl Black woman t hoc mommt TOen why doIla chat bull u nl~lIh irorlf mDIIt ulliy p iNt eece Black _n If Ih~ leall UCUt1 Why do 1 jIIdgc her in more crit ilta1lillh rhan ny 01 baomi raard when ohoc don nor _ ure upl

Aa -l _ oi __ p twl ~ - _ 6I

1IM~] Ion1o _ _ loould__ bull yen1oo 4 __ e-_ o-~ Clif IIIontho Ccgtolo Ooro c- y_ - 0I0010o kh alolaquolto~ olttr s-dI- on __ _ f_ ] IS)IIM

- _ Or 0I0010o

4gt

146 Smu ClvnlD

And If brhind tn objKc ci my ttack ohould lie th ~ face ci my OWn If unaaoptN tMn ht COlId poaoibly qu~nc h bull fi 1U ~ kl by SIKh nciprocri paooional

Ithen I ampInN to te bout tM IntensIty ci tM ~ ~

twftn Black ltOOrTOm I found 1had only braun to tOUlh lip ci bull t hr~ ~ the d~t undraructlno ci hich 10 HacrN that id1 ltkathish dieJ US from d ~ e _ born Black nd fmak in AInIM FlOfIl th1 InOfln on e have bftn 1leqgtN in IuIrreJ - for OUr color for out lU for OU dfrontY in darina TO ~ we had ny righ 10 li~ ~ childr~n borbed ha hatteJ pa-d it hrough ounlVO Ind for d ItlOIt pan Slill Ii our llVO ouTsiltk ci he recognition ci t tha htreJ ~ally is and how II funct ion E ch~ ci 11 tUtn lTudrynd an~r in our ltkImiddot Inll with ~ac h OIher For each ci u bran th~ face thlt hllnod kbullbullbullnd W haY each ktrneJ to br 1 hOlt with ltT1ldry bKu W ha surviVdso much ci i Ithln our own Ii ~ I can t~ aboul Black womens iIt I mue writ~

about dlo poisonou stepIlg ci hl eJ hlt IUds tlult iIt and ci t IM audtv thai it pawmd wh~n bull mftI

I found thl out by sc linii my OWn nptTations oi ocher Black wom~ n by following tM Ihleldo oimy OWn rall at BlKk womanf1ltN back into tit hatreJ and dnpioal thlt ~mmiddot

broiampreJ my li f with fi Ionc bfo I knnr hen that hltlN ca from 0 why it 10 bing peJ upon me Childn know only th I rnsono for I Mnlngo in hr Ii So ci rour child 1 dcidd then mun ~t hi nll

t ibly wrong wllh hll inapiIN such conp ~ bus driVT didnt look at OIlwr pOpl like that All tbe hinao my mother had _tnoltI In- 10 do and h I h d II nahl a-d nd don and bftn mUlt 0 blame

To ah for powtT ithln m~lf I m be wilhna 10 lttOV thtOUlilh b1ng afraid to haeVt lift beyond If 1look at

my lIgtOII vulnerable places and K kllOtllkdF t pain I ha felt I can mo the IOlIrce of tha pain from my enemies nalbull My hilty tln- UoN 10 ftad my ia rrOWI henj nd Ih t leucno her powtT OYH NOlhinll1 Ktp eboce

En TO ETI H7

I7ylf tin uoed IpIf 10 dlmlni 1m who I m do il1ll whll l ca IOOO aeti upon fOIl hke droll or chil to mind you of yout 1diocoYft you In m~lf

Am~it 1 muotlnt oi has lain like barrier aclOll dte lition 01 my own JOIftI II barrier hith I bed 10 Illshy mi nd dismantle ~ by painful piece in order to UOC my Ilia fully nd Ily II is easier 10 001 h he erna nifcsutio of ratiom nd sexism hn it is 10 doaI wih I nau11J oi dOlt dilOnlonJ inernliled wilhin OUr conmiddot ociouIofourSl ~a nd 0 noIlwr

Bu hbullbull is the na ut e oi lui 1UCl nce 10 COIlItCf with ch OIh on oy bu e Ihe mast supcrficiallewbl What is lhe oourcc of h1 ml1and dist nce ininJ ~ Black n

I dont like TO tllk bou har~ I don like TO member the tII ltC~lltion nd ltrN my wl hedfor deah teen io the eyn 01 ID mny hite people from th~ ime I could see It 10 laquo hoed in -spaptn nd movind holy pictures nd comic book and Amoa n A ndy dio progr ma I had no tools to dilKCt ii no Ian llWllI to name it ~ AA bwy trln to Harlem I dUlch my motherIIICV

lwrrmo full of hopping bp chrilunt-vy ~ _ lmell of winler doth Ihe ins luhing My mothelt spots 0 lmosl oeat pu my little i elt body down O n 0 sideof me bull man adill ~per On d e ocher womn In IUr h inllllt me Her mourh Idtes ssh rnd lthen her Iltlt dopa dov pull miih ibull Helt learh-i[oyd hand p1uckst the Ii w my new blue nowpannd her Ik IUt COl mcclt She jerks helt COl c101lH to her I kgtoIlt 1do noI _ hae-ver lterrible hlng he i Ilill on the ~n

- probably roech But hr h communkllelt her horror ro I muat be hing tVbad from he $hemiddotlookshying so I pull my Ii c1011t TO me y from ii too WIwnI Ioolr up l he womon i llIlltringI lwr hoIea ndryeo hUll And uddenly I realitlt l here is noIhing c hll up d~

t bHwttn u II is me deant _nt c-t lo rouch n IUr bruh p my flO u Mods ith bullbullhudder nd holds

~

- -

j

-fl~Jzsect~i1r~tljii H( t i ~ ~ tl l r l l l l gtf i ~

t middot ~~lt ( p ~ n r f f lmiddot fft~121~ ifip_ [

-1 r l5 J = J T z 1 ~f FHi H i ~~r- H bulli~ ir~~ia~~~r~~ 1 ~ _ 1I 8 iJi ~ ifl _ - ~ ~ Jiti bullbullbull - 1 t l~IJ~~i~ii~l~il ~~~ j - 1~t ~~~~~rrs ul 1 ~ bullntf ~~j 1 iglrf 2 middotlr~middot middot i~middotil~Qrii~ l t i- E H sectB- i-~i~ _~~~I1 tf J ~[middotmiddotI Iw [[ i~~ middotI~Imiddotmiddot i~ H iiJ -~[[~r~l~ 1 ~J f ~ fl H H~ Jirr~ lll ~2 imiddot~ ~tf orfli1tf j d Iti i H H t

~i lmiddotImiddot Jat1i f ~ i iri IiJ3~ __ - Ibullbull ~U ~ii ~rr ~ -~frmiddotjf h -d ~ ~ H ~ I ~ I ~

llf~l Hii1r o ~

f~iii-~ipJ tI~ r nHmiddot middotHn n ~~middotQtmiddotli ~J~ a1 gt lI=ci 2- P r Ih En~ ~~~ H i_ltj~Jd~ju~ CI Ibull

-

bull i( jr sect[ it f HUH~fn fH ~ ~li ~1 [l ~ H j t ~

~fI ~~ imiddot i~~f ~~ I h~f ~ tn I tf r a a s i~ fl~lgt imiddot f l~filh~t ~hI ~f ~i~l- igt ~I _I t middot ~8ir h Ha bull bull II ~r l oir- - s ~jl i ~1iP rj ~F ~jlr 1 _amp g lf

7gt I~_ r shy~jf~ ~ if = ~~i iI q ~H iltl~ bullbull 1H~~ ~ri Hd i ~ ~ ~ I lj4- lC f t shy

1 f i r ~ Hiif ~ n i~F i ~ r

h I ~f i ~t~ Qi ~ r= i ~=- f gogt m [ ~ - i bull~

ggt IF if_ 2 p Ii~l~1 ~~ rhi~ ~hi Ibull -1middot ~p n f~ [ a amp if =I=Q~ sect ~i~ ~ t g r ~lr ~ai r rl i~ t inl t Hhl ~~

m

af~ ~ 1 f[ Llt~ ~p~ ~~tl-l n ~ ~l h hlt tl [ ~ Jft[~ ~=I ~ 3isect shy~i2[ li~amp ~j- s a B- bullbull _ I ~ -

--

P l ~m nlr i S ~ i)o ~bull - 1crfif li i m ~r [ ~ri i _1 al- Eh

bull llt=~ 0 r ~ 1 i -ll ~

~l H~[ r rr ti II -lt shy ~3 middot l

~ ll -~ rshy~~is- Ii -ll~ bull i p di~

2 - r3 -15 8 _f 5l~ 270

J hi [dI -i ~~~ii ~ i 2 ~r ~ rr cij ~gJi

J lr middotmiddot s- ilfs o l 3

-iP i q~iP~iUf PHIt ) Lmiddot o~middot Fi~~1 -It- bull oil I~i f~~l n inu~~ it

IIil~ t ll lrfili[ililt bull ~ ~ itr~ _ -p~ I ~ ~ ~ ~ilmiddot rmiddotmiddot -ll~d

ir l~l l~ t I ~i middotl i ~ I - IF H middot J r cshyr ~ ~ ~ ~~ II ~ middot 3 ~ ~f l o _i ~1~Imiddot

m

tlrllrf tj~~i flmiddot t i bulla S- iIl~ ~ ~ i I ti E f s

i ~ ~liil~ lsect1 i - llI t ~

H hHHsiill l h ~~- shy

lsa SlItuOvnlDl

10 be nal of foot how 10 hIOlI how 0 kMbullbullnd nc nor 10 run Unleoo he h til It I IllOlIjh

BlIC k womIn gjYl our chlldn forth Into -Ired lhal_red ou n you da wilh ~lder hopr WI haYl 1111 lhem hi I can uw to fahlon lgtdr own lWWnd Ie COlli Ihw to IlIrvjI 1( 1did liOI oilllr II blnh n 0111rI IIny 1wIn th my own deopain _h lhe y __ dldln lhe olInipld ed IOcarpo _nd lherdolaquo w 1commitled 10 hll n

TIwpicI of r-- ill ~__bull I tI h~n l 10 m 111 IIlk boul the be world ohe bullbull

deltermlled to iW111lte1 In opll c1n ohe _ ilea O ~ knowleJp of Ihll world II eIn Jhidt ohe Cln uw 10 ch n il 11 I li~ned hld m ined need to fh bck 11110 IN web eI my 11 ptOIOCIioN I UI

w rchl Wh lll worked It oul hoI by hunful hoI _ whir w lly Wl nted _ Iftll her rip Wall nd wlire Iwr 11 buildJ11If ilea I wukI hUIllwlp her do it nor do II for her nor _Id ohe u lhat

AU hen twir daothren 8Ilaquok hen II hIppmi I IIIrnhor fhmoch lhe YllI 01 hatred hu bhshyna eI in lhe pMh bJorc lheu d-chllte1L All dalen fgtd morhen 8bck IIrlo _ II hawtu

thTOUllh I wi ellhreaIeaed iIoIIIlon no ( of truoI pOItus lal momh I hdd hUIlher Black n in my tmI II

bbt out IN lllicfnd doprillllOll eI her her liNlh Hlte1 incDnlDlohW 10 _ IN empI- 01 riM lIIOtlooaI landoaljX lhe wbull In fronl 01 her _ lIpOkl 0Uf of her moulh from place 01 unlOUCnhW lonencM 1n1 could ad mll her Billtk WOInlIn clooI lllltgt 1NI11er Tbeworld I didshyed into TWO k1ndo of peoplr uldthoie who haYl moIMn

~ nd lhole ho dont And I don~ nYl bull moeher ny_ WhIt I 1wIrd her tlVI _ lhat no ltllher BlICk 11 _Id IlWI _ -ho one _ IlWI truoI ltII be lTUIIed by Ivr lpin I heard In Iwr aya 1onell IN KlUIa of the TOmIInor ~n

dir8llck _Ctn Mld _

middot_ nmiddot0000

Eft TO En IS9

L il lo BlICk lirla lutored by n 1~ 11110 wnting 0 becornr nyfhi eIoe W I WI 00lf fYW 1 brltuw ohe eIIn on ly IIIItct whl bod eIoe exorpl mo oeerned 10 know _ lhat _ WITI -nful or Iy ltII h leoo but cenllnly UNgtlcIlCG W liOI boys nd WI nor whill 10 coued faro han liOIbtrc n~ to our mom__

If WI can learn to p~ ourwl e RalIIition Ind IoOCIp-I II I WI nw come to IllpICI only from OUr momll1ll t B1k n n be Ible to _ lleh OIM much _ dnrl and dnIlh nch orher mUlth _ dinaly

(Ihlnk boul IN hnh- Ihll iou oh ~n wilhin th~ ~U1

ngtltOIJnler br1ftn B1kk _11 Ih~ JU~ nI nd M i inll up Ih1 c1rJul lo COI1ncltI ( know 1IOm ~lmn I ftd like II ill worlh my Ilk Itgt d i lll~ l lh lnolher Black WltllNIn Bntlte1 10 IlInor~ Ivrwllhd from her Olmd 00 juM don~ dnl wlh Nor JUII brltw h ~ irTlt me bn beu W mithl dftoroy row wllh h~ CfM1force 01 hoelt ~ m 1 ~I ll k~ 11 I ffronl nomdy me Or I mieh deIuoy br1 wllh lhe fofu 01 mIne lor d II Thr iNn equl

Or- I u n b e ~mculn 01 m hie_ Blackwoman nJ muiliply Ihc-m by my TWO chlkmnndU tht da 01 ~lecrl Black Ii nd I do ROO fal m bngtnoh tht _ whl l fIlI k woman 10 ROO orldgtrtion lik 1lte1lih niamph ik rock - 11 11 ny wondfr hal my ~ is h~ tgtow m teshy

lUI of mywlf Ih~ ~ Hort ol w~ 10 lhat nnhncM will nul fuoctlon In 1M pl II I Iooc ~ _ -rd my l ~n

Why do BI k WOInMl ~ pll1lcul voia 01 fury Ind dlppoInlrrwnl lorIh wt-gt 11 11_ muor drolroy when lIlltk nh OIher with 1-1 lOne of phiined Ind 001

IOCI nnlhilallonl 1 ha _ anooher to OUr own Ioweoo common JrnomlnltorbullbullnJ lhen WI pltlCffd 10 ~ and oblnlte1lI wh WI _ deIIte to 10- and h d pr0bshylematic wlf unclaimedbul ru+r dId ampom tht other

nu nuel 1la d uo ftanh- II bull piIu cl riw cl n1I wlh whilth WITI itted ampom he lime WIt

I 160 ampnw Ovnwu

born by Inc ho lnfended il 10 be n Injection d de fh Bur I we o pledlnwd TO li ke II in and ItullICrun nUcQ Y 11 _- laquo1111 In ordn 10 _hMnd d~ ther _ ht ro

buew-one and now _ brulle 1 upon dWOIher who Ioea-

How do 1alter-10 Neh Black -nfe 1-10 nor the fced m modwrOf my killerl

I _ 1--1 __ _ IoIlkIIO far - 1ft 1ft)

_ m bull n-- W ~ odwr bnaida tlaquoh ~~ - 001 odw~ Ncla ltWry rrrrw I iouo 001 __ Ihr rgtfict 1iocIIi1ld 1MMm1 da~ l w ID IC 1IfC1r

Thtft mny oruolont in heh 0( ou r li_ for ritheoul IUry mullplled nd dIYldl

bull Black ~ be1 told hf we cell be KJmthow hoof and I re wont but _ equal To Nc nom To OIhrr wonwn T ~flII

bull n ~ 1 ie fomi nilll n tht 11 10II 1lIis Brodrcul M ampcia m beau now illl_ eN 10 dnJ -lt r8dlm wlrhoul N 10 IKe thr haMlonI d Bleck undiluted by ar- colen Whir __ It tIw don nor N~ 10 nmine her _n opectIk _ end loollhl d 81101_ nor dnI WId rho ryn aI Black Omm So 11 11 wilt dirtY ucl mnn ampen n K~ up 0 In tinw

bull n lclll ll1lrlplftil(ho I thou I hd handled 00 po_ limd and well I ddnt blow up hll dmMd machine I exshypbolnnl how II K Ia blind modo moo fftI and how hit lilm CDlJlltJ be h-l TO h __nl Hr probbly lnmed hinc lIboullhowl nl md l-n lhrn IQmr homroo1_ IOn IIp my hou 00 m ~ beeu _ inYit1lncn oed 10 bI mlllplnled Nof woril hewdw r ri nat _

bull A oonvitlfd 8llaquok _nbull bull ronu_ ri 00 rhi ldrrn ann-Irincd lObi killrr -nr in journel in hiI ampm cdl bulln cr - _ _ ~ ~_~o-

- 0I000o _ ~r__oIIe- -- Wow1

En TO En 161

I m I type of prnon you _ lihl to find drivill bull M-nd oilf1nc In lhor neculhe ofIc d 100 biaClOlpOlmiddot 1Iono And hr rlihl EItnpI hrmiddot18Ialtk

Ho- do eep rnn _1 our bull II Ihrm upon I_ndh 1Ho- do I Iter mlffrom rhil poioon 1_ too ld lib 5InobufJ 100M unrill-ilfd dw 1nM oInyrh nouNh Utr dw ~ tr fIJI Ib b rJw b-III eIIIon bull We etoeh Iamrd 1M a-n 01dmaaion II idIl Iltnt IUllilo- rft IooIr how our woNo r f1ndih a1hrr in

k itdfflcuh lO~rucr hd -1_ lIloOltId hrn bull rounded _I INi for fillh Bur not im~bk We h Ihn 11 rvlved for bull -n (ioor do I ddlnr m lm~ pall rhl n nhn I betin by bullbullhina for dw riahl -shy

De Leon For rwo8 wornrn 10 rnrn n Ime or Ihrnprutic

rnlionIhip _ ~nnl n _ nlilll unchInN nd 1- iOUmrr n no proI~ lgtO~ nD obecIil 10 hie body d eJltIEitrwe a1hrr man ou by whith n rrhr opeci6ltdrNmiQ dour Im n lCt It 81laquo1lt wornrn Yn Ihil inln oorion ~ M In d a1her p-~hic mltfn IItmoIIed pmloundl k io 10 lLTUtinue 11 YfI( imtralice Ihll I 1 OUtp 11bull bullnd I hi IU I hil_ _ it mnlll piltbull bull

inc m IhrOUlh our limilirinnd our dillfttrQa -I It Ih our hiltOiin d Clkullled misrnw nd droilbull bull

8ecI il not been done brfore or If kilt not been notfd rhJo p-nlcul KTUUn ~nful nd frr with d wnrrbilir d llil poychil tiniet pi idI d dw pilmiddot fI UtOIfd by our _Ill BlICk lAEn in bull hqo _ lr Id 00 BIICn ho rvlved This it bull rurin olrm IIIoIeItpptd or ( a1l111idfd nimpOltlnl or taldt rhe poinl EXAMflpound I an rftI (OIl n d wtulE JllYhwornrn Mid to _ Wh ohouId bull nrr i I m BlICk or hire ho IOOUld nrvtr think d

~

- -

j

-fl~Jzsect~i1r~tljii H( t i ~ ~ tl l r l l l l gtf i ~

t middot ~~lt ( p ~ n r f f lmiddot fft~121~ ifip_ [

-1 r l5 J = J T z 1 ~f FHi H i ~~r- H bulli~ ir~~ia~~~r~~ 1 ~ _ 1I 8 iJi ~ ifl _ - ~ ~ Jiti bullbullbull - 1 t l~IJ~~i~ii~l~il ~~~ j - 1~t ~~~~~rrs ul 1 ~ bullntf ~~j 1 iglrf 2 middotlr~middot middot i~middotil~Qrii~ l t i- E H sectB- i-~i~ _~~~I1 tf J ~[middotmiddotI Iw [[ i~~ middotI~Imiddotmiddot i~ H iiJ -~[[~r~l~ 1 ~J f ~ fl H H~ Jirr~ lll ~2 imiddot~ ~tf orfli1tf j d Iti i H H t

~i lmiddotImiddot Jat1i f ~ i iri IiJ3~ __ - Ibullbull ~U ~ii ~rr ~ -~frmiddotjf h -d ~ ~ H ~ I ~ I ~

llf~l Hii1r o ~

f~iii-~ipJ tI~ r nHmiddot middotHn n ~~middotQtmiddotli ~J~ a1 gt lI=ci 2- P r Ih En~ ~~~ H i_ltj~Jd~ju~ CI Ibull

-

bull i( jr sect[ it f HUH~fn fH ~ ~li ~1 [l ~ H j t ~

~fI ~~ imiddot i~~f ~~ I h~f ~ tn I tf r a a s i~ fl~lgt imiddot f l~filh~t ~hI ~f ~i~l- igt ~I _I t middot ~8ir h Ha bull bull II ~r l oir- - s ~jl i ~1iP rj ~F ~jlr 1 _amp g lf

7gt I~_ r shy~jf~ ~ if = ~~i iI q ~H iltl~ bullbull 1H~~ ~ri Hd i ~ ~ ~ I lj4- lC f t shy

1 f i r ~ Hiif ~ n i~F i ~ r

h I ~f i ~t~ Qi ~ r= i ~=- f gogt m [ ~ - i bull~

ggt IF if_ 2 p Ii~l~1 ~~ rhi~ ~hi Ibull -1middot ~p n f~ [ a amp if =I=Q~ sect ~i~ ~ t g r ~lr ~ai r rl i~ t inl t Hhl ~~

m

af~ ~ 1 f[ Llt~ ~p~ ~~tl-l n ~ ~l h hlt tl [ ~ Jft[~ ~=I ~ 3isect shy~i2[ li~amp ~j- s a B- bullbull _ I ~ -

--

P l ~m nlr i S ~ i)o ~bull - 1crfif li i m ~r [ ~ri i _1 al- Eh

bull llt=~ 0 r ~ 1 i -ll ~

~l H~[ r rr ti II -lt shy ~3 middot l

~ ll -~ rshy~~is- Ii -ll~ bull i p di~

2 - r3 -15 8 _f 5l~ 270

J hi [dI -i ~~~ii ~ i 2 ~r ~ rr cij ~gJi

J lr middotmiddot s- ilfs o l 3

-iP i q~iP~iUf PHIt ) Lmiddot o~middot Fi~~1 -It- bull oil I~i f~~l n inu~~ it

IIil~ t ll lrfili[ililt bull ~ ~ itr~ _ -p~ I ~ ~ ~ ~ilmiddot rmiddotmiddot -ll~d

ir l~l l~ t I ~i middotl i ~ I - IF H middot J r cshyr ~ ~ ~ ~~ II ~ middot 3 ~ ~f l o _i ~1~Imiddot

m

tlrllrf tj~~i flmiddot t i bulla S- iIl~ ~ ~ i I ti E f s

i ~ ~liil~ lsect1 i - llI t ~

H hHHsiill l h ~~- shy

lsa SlItuOvnlDl

10 be nal of foot how 10 hIOlI how 0 kMbullbullnd nc nor 10 run Unleoo he h til It I IllOlIjh

BlIC k womIn gjYl our chlldn forth Into -Ired lhal_red ou n you da wilh ~lder hopr WI haYl 1111 lhem hi I can uw to fahlon lgtdr own lWWnd Ie COlli Ihw to IlIrvjI 1( 1did liOI oilllr II blnh n 0111rI IIny 1wIn th my own deopain _h lhe y __ dldln lhe olInipld ed IOcarpo _nd lherdolaquo w 1commitled 10 hll n

TIwpicI of r-- ill ~__bull I tI h~n l 10 m 111 IIlk boul the be world ohe bullbull

deltermlled to iW111lte1 In opll c1n ohe _ ilea O ~ knowleJp of Ihll world II eIn Jhidt ohe Cln uw 10 ch n il 11 I li~ned hld m ined need to fh bck 11110 IN web eI my 11 ptOIOCIioN I UI

w rchl Wh lll worked It oul hoI by hunful hoI _ whir w lly Wl nted _ Iftll her rip Wall nd wlire Iwr 11 buildJ11If ilea I wukI hUIllwlp her do it nor do II for her nor _Id ohe u lhat

AU hen twir daothren 8Ilaquok hen II hIppmi I IIIrnhor fhmoch lhe YllI 01 hatred hu bhshyna eI in lhe pMh bJorc lheu d-chllte1L All dalen fgtd morhen 8bck IIrlo _ II hawtu

thTOUllh I wi ellhreaIeaed iIoIIIlon no ( of truoI pOItus lal momh I hdd hUIlher Black n in my tmI II

bbt out IN lllicfnd doprillllOll eI her her liNlh Hlte1 incDnlDlohW 10 _ IN empI- 01 riM lIIOtlooaI landoaljX lhe wbull In fronl 01 her _ lIpOkl 0Uf of her moulh from place 01 unlOUCnhW lonencM 1n1 could ad mll her Billtk WOInlIn clooI lllltgt 1NI11er Tbeworld I didshyed into TWO k1ndo of peoplr uldthoie who haYl moIMn

~ nd lhole ho dont And I don~ nYl bull moeher ny_ WhIt I 1wIrd her tlVI _ lhat no ltllher BlICk 11 _Id IlWI _ -ho one _ IlWI truoI ltII be lTUIIed by Ivr lpin I heard In Iwr aya 1onell IN KlUIa of the TOmIInor ~n

dir8llck _Ctn Mld _

middot_ nmiddot0000

Eft TO En IS9

L il lo BlICk lirla lutored by n 1~ 11110 wnting 0 becornr nyfhi eIoe W I WI 00lf fYW 1 brltuw ohe eIIn on ly IIIItct whl bod eIoe exorpl mo oeerned 10 know _ lhat _ WITI -nful or Iy ltII h leoo but cenllnly UNgtlcIlCG W liOI boys nd WI nor whill 10 coued faro han liOIbtrc n~ to our mom__

If WI can learn to p~ ourwl e RalIIition Ind IoOCIp-I II I WI nw come to IllpICI only from OUr momll1ll t B1k n n be Ible to _ lleh OIM much _ dnrl and dnIlh nch orher mUlth _ dinaly

(Ihlnk boul IN hnh- Ihll iou oh ~n wilhin th~ ~U1

ngtltOIJnler br1ftn B1kk _11 Ih~ JU~ nI nd M i inll up Ih1 c1rJul lo COI1ncltI ( know 1IOm ~lmn I ftd like II ill worlh my Ilk Itgt d i lll~ l lh lnolher Black WltllNIn Bntlte1 10 IlInor~ Ivrwllhd from her Olmd 00 juM don~ dnl wlh Nor JUII brltw h ~ irTlt me bn beu W mithl dftoroy row wllh h~ CfM1force 01 hoelt ~ m 1 ~I ll k~ 11 I ffronl nomdy me Or I mieh deIuoy br1 wllh lhe fofu 01 mIne lor d II Thr iNn equl

Or- I u n b e ~mculn 01 m hie_ Blackwoman nJ muiliply Ihc-m by my TWO chlkmnndU tht da 01 ~lecrl Black Ii nd I do ROO fal m bngtnoh tht _ whl l fIlI k woman 10 ROO orldgtrtion lik 1lte1lih niamph ik rock - 11 11 ny wondfr hal my ~ is h~ tgtow m teshy

lUI of mywlf Ih~ ~ Hort ol w~ 10 lhat nnhncM will nul fuoctlon In 1M pl II I Iooc ~ _ -rd my l ~n

Why do BI k WOInMl ~ pll1lcul voia 01 fury Ind dlppoInlrrwnl lorIh wt-gt 11 11_ muor drolroy when lIlltk nh OIher with 1-1 lOne of phiined Ind 001

IOCI nnlhilallonl 1 ha _ anooher to OUr own Ioweoo common JrnomlnltorbullbullnJ lhen WI pltlCffd 10 ~ and oblnlte1lI wh WI _ deIIte to 10- and h d pr0bshylematic wlf unclaimedbul ru+r dId ampom tht other

nu nuel 1la d uo ftanh- II bull piIu cl riw cl n1I wlh whilth WITI itted ampom he lime WIt

I 160 ampnw Ovnwu

born by Inc ho lnfended il 10 be n Injection d de fh Bur I we o pledlnwd TO li ke II in and ItullICrun nUcQ Y 11 _- laquo1111 In ordn 10 _hMnd d~ ther _ ht ro

buew-one and now _ brulle 1 upon dWOIher who Ioea-

How do 1alter-10 Neh Black -nfe 1-10 nor the fced m modwrOf my killerl

I _ 1--1 __ _ IoIlkIIO far - 1ft 1ft)

_ m bull n-- W ~ odwr bnaida tlaquoh ~~ - 001 odw~ Ncla ltWry rrrrw I iouo 001 __ Ihr rgtfict 1iocIIi1ld 1MMm1 da~ l w ID IC 1IfC1r

Thtft mny oruolont in heh 0( ou r li_ for ritheoul IUry mullplled nd dIYldl

bull Black ~ be1 told hf we cell be KJmthow hoof and I re wont but _ equal To Nc nom To OIhrr wonwn T ~flII

bull n ~ 1 ie fomi nilll n tht 11 10II 1lIis Brodrcul M ampcia m beau now illl_ eN 10 dnJ -lt r8dlm wlrhoul N 10 IKe thr haMlonI d Bleck undiluted by ar- colen Whir __ It tIw don nor N~ 10 nmine her _n opectIk _ end loollhl d 81101_ nor dnI WId rho ryn aI Black Omm So 11 11 wilt dirtY ucl mnn ampen n K~ up 0 In tinw

bull n lclll ll1lrlplftil(ho I thou I hd handled 00 po_ limd and well I ddnt blow up hll dmMd machine I exshypbolnnl how II K Ia blind modo moo fftI and how hit lilm CDlJlltJ be h-l TO h __nl Hr probbly lnmed hinc lIboullhowl nl md l-n lhrn IQmr homroo1_ IOn IIp my hou 00 m ~ beeu _ inYit1lncn oed 10 bI mlllplnled Nof woril hewdw r ri nat _

bull A oonvitlfd 8llaquok _nbull bull ronu_ ri 00 rhi ldrrn ann-Irincd lObi killrr -nr in journel in hiI ampm cdl bulln cr - _ _ ~ ~_~o-

- 0I000o _ ~r__oIIe- -- Wow1

En TO En 161

I m I type of prnon you _ lihl to find drivill bull M-nd oilf1nc In lhor neculhe ofIc d 100 biaClOlpOlmiddot 1Iono And hr rlihl EItnpI hrmiddot18Ialtk

Ho- do eep rnn _1 our bull II Ihrm upon I_ndh 1Ho- do I Iter mlffrom rhil poioon 1_ too ld lib 5InobufJ 100M unrill-ilfd dw 1nM oInyrh nouNh Utr dw ~ tr fIJI Ib b rJw b-III eIIIon bull We etoeh Iamrd 1M a-n 01dmaaion II idIl Iltnt IUllilo- rft IooIr how our woNo r f1ndih a1hrr in

k itdfflcuh lO~rucr hd -1_ lIloOltId hrn bull rounded _I INi for fillh Bur not im~bk We h Ihn 11 rvlved for bull -n (ioor do I ddlnr m lm~ pall rhl n nhn I betin by bullbullhina for dw riahl -shy

De Leon For rwo8 wornrn 10 rnrn n Ime or Ihrnprutic

rnlionIhip _ ~nnl n _ nlilll unchInN nd 1- iOUmrr n no proI~ lgtO~ nD obecIil 10 hie body d eJltIEitrwe a1hrr man ou by whith n rrhr opeci6ltdrNmiQ dour Im n lCt It 81laquo1lt wornrn Yn Ihil inln oorion ~ M In d a1her p-~hic mltfn IItmoIIed pmloundl k io 10 lLTUtinue 11 YfI( imtralice Ihll I 1 OUtp 11bull bullnd I hi IU I hil_ _ it mnlll piltbull bull

inc m IhrOUlh our limilirinnd our dillfttrQa -I It Ih our hiltOiin d Clkullled misrnw nd droilbull bull

8ecI il not been done brfore or If kilt not been notfd rhJo p-nlcul KTUUn ~nful nd frr with d wnrrbilir d llil poychil tiniet pi idI d dw pilmiddot fI UtOIfd by our _Ill BlICk lAEn in bull hqo _ lr Id 00 BIICn ho rvlved This it bull rurin olrm IIIoIeItpptd or ( a1l111idfd nimpOltlnl or taldt rhe poinl EXAMflpound I an rftI (OIl n d wtulE JllYhwornrn Mid to _ Wh ohouId bull nrr i I m BlICk or hire ho IOOUld nrvtr think d

--

P l ~m nlr i S ~ i)o ~bull - 1crfif li i m ~r [ ~ri i _1 al- Eh

bull llt=~ 0 r ~ 1 i -ll ~

~l H~[ r rr ti II -lt shy ~3 middot l

~ ll -~ rshy~~is- Ii -ll~ bull i p di~

2 - r3 -15 8 _f 5l~ 270

J hi [dI -i ~~~ii ~ i 2 ~r ~ rr cij ~gJi

J lr middotmiddot s- ilfs o l 3

-iP i q~iP~iUf PHIt ) Lmiddot o~middot Fi~~1 -It- bull oil I~i f~~l n inu~~ it

IIil~ t ll lrfili[ililt bull ~ ~ itr~ _ -p~ I ~ ~ ~ ~ilmiddot rmiddotmiddot -ll~d

ir l~l l~ t I ~i middotl i ~ I - IF H middot J r cshyr ~ ~ ~ ~~ II ~ middot 3 ~ ~f l o _i ~1~Imiddot

m

tlrllrf tj~~i flmiddot t i bulla S- iIl~ ~ ~ i I ti E f s

i ~ ~liil~ lsect1 i - llI t ~

H hHHsiill l h ~~- shy

lsa SlItuOvnlDl

10 be nal of foot how 10 hIOlI how 0 kMbullbullnd nc nor 10 run Unleoo he h til It I IllOlIjh

BlIC k womIn gjYl our chlldn forth Into -Ired lhal_red ou n you da wilh ~lder hopr WI haYl 1111 lhem hi I can uw to fahlon lgtdr own lWWnd Ie COlli Ihw to IlIrvjI 1( 1did liOI oilllr II blnh n 0111rI IIny 1wIn th my own deopain _h lhe y __ dldln lhe olInipld ed IOcarpo _nd lherdolaquo w 1commitled 10 hll n

TIwpicI of r-- ill ~__bull I tI h~n l 10 m 111 IIlk boul the be world ohe bullbull

deltermlled to iW111lte1 In opll c1n ohe _ ilea O ~ knowleJp of Ihll world II eIn Jhidt ohe Cln uw 10 ch n il 11 I li~ned hld m ined need to fh bck 11110 IN web eI my 11 ptOIOCIioN I UI

w rchl Wh lll worked It oul hoI by hunful hoI _ whir w lly Wl nted _ Iftll her rip Wall nd wlire Iwr 11 buildJ11If ilea I wukI hUIllwlp her do it nor do II for her nor _Id ohe u lhat

AU hen twir daothren 8Ilaquok hen II hIppmi I IIIrnhor fhmoch lhe YllI 01 hatred hu bhshyna eI in lhe pMh bJorc lheu d-chllte1L All dalen fgtd morhen 8bck IIrlo _ II hawtu

thTOUllh I wi ellhreaIeaed iIoIIIlon no ( of truoI pOItus lal momh I hdd hUIlher Black n in my tmI II

bbt out IN lllicfnd doprillllOll eI her her liNlh Hlte1 incDnlDlohW 10 _ IN empI- 01 riM lIIOtlooaI landoaljX lhe wbull In fronl 01 her _ lIpOkl 0Uf of her moulh from place 01 unlOUCnhW lonencM 1n1 could ad mll her Billtk WOInlIn clooI lllltgt 1NI11er Tbeworld I didshyed into TWO k1ndo of peoplr uldthoie who haYl moIMn

~ nd lhole ho dont And I don~ nYl bull moeher ny_ WhIt I 1wIrd her tlVI _ lhat no ltllher BlICk 11 _Id IlWI _ -ho one _ IlWI truoI ltII be lTUIIed by Ivr lpin I heard In Iwr aya 1onell IN KlUIa of the TOmIInor ~n

dir8llck _Ctn Mld _

middot_ nmiddot0000

Eft TO En IS9

L il lo BlICk lirla lutored by n 1~ 11110 wnting 0 becornr nyfhi eIoe W I WI 00lf fYW 1 brltuw ohe eIIn on ly IIIItct whl bod eIoe exorpl mo oeerned 10 know _ lhat _ WITI -nful or Iy ltII h leoo but cenllnly UNgtlcIlCG W liOI boys nd WI nor whill 10 coued faro han liOIbtrc n~ to our mom__

If WI can learn to p~ ourwl e RalIIition Ind IoOCIp-I II I WI nw come to IllpICI only from OUr momll1ll t B1k n n be Ible to _ lleh OIM much _ dnrl and dnIlh nch orher mUlth _ dinaly

(Ihlnk boul IN hnh- Ihll iou oh ~n wilhin th~ ~U1

ngtltOIJnler br1ftn B1kk _11 Ih~ JU~ nI nd M i inll up Ih1 c1rJul lo COI1ncltI ( know 1IOm ~lmn I ftd like II ill worlh my Ilk Itgt d i lll~ l lh lnolher Black WltllNIn Bntlte1 10 IlInor~ Ivrwllhd from her Olmd 00 juM don~ dnl wlh Nor JUII brltw h ~ irTlt me bn beu W mithl dftoroy row wllh h~ CfM1force 01 hoelt ~ m 1 ~I ll k~ 11 I ffronl nomdy me Or I mieh deIuoy br1 wllh lhe fofu 01 mIne lor d II Thr iNn equl

Or- I u n b e ~mculn 01 m hie_ Blackwoman nJ muiliply Ihc-m by my TWO chlkmnndU tht da 01 ~lecrl Black Ii nd I do ROO fal m bngtnoh tht _ whl l fIlI k woman 10 ROO orldgtrtion lik 1lte1lih niamph ik rock - 11 11 ny wondfr hal my ~ is h~ tgtow m teshy

lUI of mywlf Ih~ ~ Hort ol w~ 10 lhat nnhncM will nul fuoctlon In 1M pl II I Iooc ~ _ -rd my l ~n

Why do BI k WOInMl ~ pll1lcul voia 01 fury Ind dlppoInlrrwnl lorIh wt-gt 11 11_ muor drolroy when lIlltk nh OIher with 1-1 lOne of phiined Ind 001

IOCI nnlhilallonl 1 ha _ anooher to OUr own Ioweoo common JrnomlnltorbullbullnJ lhen WI pltlCffd 10 ~ and oblnlte1lI wh WI _ deIIte to 10- and h d pr0bshylematic wlf unclaimedbul ru+r dId ampom tht other

nu nuel 1la d uo ftanh- II bull piIu cl riw cl n1I wlh whilth WITI itted ampom he lime WIt

I 160 ampnw Ovnwu

born by Inc ho lnfended il 10 be n Injection d de fh Bur I we o pledlnwd TO li ke II in and ItullICrun nUcQ Y 11 _- laquo1111 In ordn 10 _hMnd d~ ther _ ht ro

buew-one and now _ brulle 1 upon dWOIher who Ioea-

How do 1alter-10 Neh Black -nfe 1-10 nor the fced m modwrOf my killerl

I _ 1--1 __ _ IoIlkIIO far - 1ft 1ft)

_ m bull n-- W ~ odwr bnaida tlaquoh ~~ - 001 odw~ Ncla ltWry rrrrw I iouo 001 __ Ihr rgtfict 1iocIIi1ld 1MMm1 da~ l w ID IC 1IfC1r

Thtft mny oruolont in heh 0( ou r li_ for ritheoul IUry mullplled nd dIYldl

bull Black ~ be1 told hf we cell be KJmthow hoof and I re wont but _ equal To Nc nom To OIhrr wonwn T ~flII

bull n ~ 1 ie fomi nilll n tht 11 10II 1lIis Brodrcul M ampcia m beau now illl_ eN 10 dnJ -lt r8dlm wlrhoul N 10 IKe thr haMlonI d Bleck undiluted by ar- colen Whir __ It tIw don nor N~ 10 nmine her _n opectIk _ end loollhl d 81101_ nor dnI WId rho ryn aI Black Omm So 11 11 wilt dirtY ucl mnn ampen n K~ up 0 In tinw

bull n lclll ll1lrlplftil(ho I thou I hd handled 00 po_ limd and well I ddnt blow up hll dmMd machine I exshypbolnnl how II K Ia blind modo moo fftI and how hit lilm CDlJlltJ be h-l TO h __nl Hr probbly lnmed hinc lIboullhowl nl md l-n lhrn IQmr homroo1_ IOn IIp my hou 00 m ~ beeu _ inYit1lncn oed 10 bI mlllplnled Nof woril hewdw r ri nat _

bull A oonvitlfd 8llaquok _nbull bull ronu_ ri 00 rhi ldrrn ann-Irincd lObi killrr -nr in journel in hiI ampm cdl bulln cr - _ _ ~ ~_~o-

- 0I000o _ ~r__oIIe- -- Wow1

En TO En 161

I m I type of prnon you _ lihl to find drivill bull M-nd oilf1nc In lhor neculhe ofIc d 100 biaClOlpOlmiddot 1Iono And hr rlihl EItnpI hrmiddot18Ialtk

Ho- do eep rnn _1 our bull II Ihrm upon I_ndh 1Ho- do I Iter mlffrom rhil poioon 1_ too ld lib 5InobufJ 100M unrill-ilfd dw 1nM oInyrh nouNh Utr dw ~ tr fIJI Ib b rJw b-III eIIIon bull We etoeh Iamrd 1M a-n 01dmaaion II idIl Iltnt IUllilo- rft IooIr how our woNo r f1ndih a1hrr in

k itdfflcuh lO~rucr hd -1_ lIloOltId hrn bull rounded _I INi for fillh Bur not im~bk We h Ihn 11 rvlved for bull -n (ioor do I ddlnr m lm~ pall rhl n nhn I betin by bullbullhina for dw riahl -shy

De Leon For rwo8 wornrn 10 rnrn n Ime or Ihrnprutic

rnlionIhip _ ~nnl n _ nlilll unchInN nd 1- iOUmrr n no proI~ lgtO~ nD obecIil 10 hie body d eJltIEitrwe a1hrr man ou by whith n rrhr opeci6ltdrNmiQ dour Im n lCt It 81laquo1lt wornrn Yn Ihil inln oorion ~ M In d a1her p-~hic mltfn IItmoIIed pmloundl k io 10 lLTUtinue 11 YfI( imtralice Ihll I 1 OUtp 11bull bullnd I hi IU I hil_ _ it mnlll piltbull bull

inc m IhrOUlh our limilirinnd our dillfttrQa -I It Ih our hiltOiin d Clkullled misrnw nd droilbull bull

8ecI il not been done brfore or If kilt not been notfd rhJo p-nlcul KTUUn ~nful nd frr with d wnrrbilir d llil poychil tiniet pi idI d dw pilmiddot fI UtOIfd by our _Ill BlICk lAEn in bull hqo _ lr Id 00 BIICn ho rvlved This it bull rurin olrm IIIoIeItpptd or ( a1l111idfd nimpOltlnl or taldt rhe poinl EXAMflpound I an rftI (OIl n d wtulE JllYhwornrn Mid to _ Wh ohouId bull nrr i I m BlICk or hire ho IOOUld nrvtr think d

lsa SlItuOvnlDl

10 be nal of foot how 10 hIOlI how 0 kMbullbullnd nc nor 10 run Unleoo he h til It I IllOlIjh

BlIC k womIn gjYl our chlldn forth Into -Ired lhal_red ou n you da wilh ~lder hopr WI haYl 1111 lhem hi I can uw to fahlon lgtdr own lWWnd Ie COlli Ihw to IlIrvjI 1( 1did liOI oilllr II blnh n 0111rI IIny 1wIn th my own deopain _h lhe y __ dldln lhe olInipld ed IOcarpo _nd lherdolaquo w 1commitled 10 hll n

TIwpicI of r-- ill ~__bull I tI h~n l 10 m 111 IIlk boul the be world ohe bullbull

deltermlled to iW111lte1 In opll c1n ohe _ ilea O ~ knowleJp of Ihll world II eIn Jhidt ohe Cln uw 10 ch n il 11 I li~ned hld m ined need to fh bck 11110 IN web eI my 11 ptOIOCIioN I UI

w rchl Wh lll worked It oul hoI by hunful hoI _ whir w lly Wl nted _ Iftll her rip Wall nd wlire Iwr 11 buildJ11If ilea I wukI hUIllwlp her do it nor do II for her nor _Id ohe u lhat

AU hen twir daothren 8Ilaquok hen II hIppmi I IIIrnhor fhmoch lhe YllI 01 hatred hu bhshyna eI in lhe pMh bJorc lheu d-chllte1L All dalen fgtd morhen 8bck IIrlo _ II hawtu

thTOUllh I wi ellhreaIeaed iIoIIIlon no ( of truoI pOItus lal momh I hdd hUIlher Black n in my tmI II

bbt out IN lllicfnd doprillllOll eI her her liNlh Hlte1 incDnlDlohW 10 _ IN empI- 01 riM lIIOtlooaI landoaljX lhe wbull In fronl 01 her _ lIpOkl 0Uf of her moulh from place 01 unlOUCnhW lonencM 1n1 could ad mll her Billtk WOInlIn clooI lllltgt 1NI11er Tbeworld I didshyed into TWO k1ndo of peoplr uldthoie who haYl moIMn

~ nd lhole ho dont And I don~ nYl bull moeher ny_ WhIt I 1wIrd her tlVI _ lhat no ltllher BlICk 11 _Id IlWI _ -ho one _ IlWI truoI ltII be lTUIIed by Ivr lpin I heard In Iwr aya 1onell IN KlUIa of the TOmIInor ~n

dir8llck _Ctn Mld _

middot_ nmiddot0000

Eft TO En IS9

L il lo BlICk lirla lutored by n 1~ 11110 wnting 0 becornr nyfhi eIoe W I WI 00lf fYW 1 brltuw ohe eIIn on ly IIIItct whl bod eIoe exorpl mo oeerned 10 know _ lhat _ WITI -nful or Iy ltII h leoo but cenllnly UNgtlcIlCG W liOI boys nd WI nor whill 10 coued faro han liOIbtrc n~ to our mom__

If WI can learn to p~ ourwl e RalIIition Ind IoOCIp-I II I WI nw come to IllpICI only from OUr momll1ll t B1k n n be Ible to _ lleh OIM much _ dnrl and dnIlh nch orher mUlth _ dinaly

(Ihlnk boul IN hnh- Ihll iou oh ~n wilhin th~ ~U1

ngtltOIJnler br1ftn B1kk _11 Ih~ JU~ nI nd M i inll up Ih1 c1rJul lo COI1ncltI ( know 1IOm ~lmn I ftd like II ill worlh my Ilk Itgt d i lll~ l lh lnolher Black WltllNIn Bntlte1 10 IlInor~ Ivrwllhd from her Olmd 00 juM don~ dnl wlh Nor JUII brltw h ~ irTlt me bn beu W mithl dftoroy row wllh h~ CfM1force 01 hoelt ~ m 1 ~I ll k~ 11 I ffronl nomdy me Or I mieh deIuoy br1 wllh lhe fofu 01 mIne lor d II Thr iNn equl

Or- I u n b e ~mculn 01 m hie_ Blackwoman nJ muiliply Ihc-m by my TWO chlkmnndU tht da 01 ~lecrl Black Ii nd I do ROO fal m bngtnoh tht _ whl l fIlI k woman 10 ROO orldgtrtion lik 1lte1lih niamph ik rock - 11 11 ny wondfr hal my ~ is h~ tgtow m teshy

lUI of mywlf Ih~ ~ Hort ol w~ 10 lhat nnhncM will nul fuoctlon In 1M pl II I Iooc ~ _ -rd my l ~n

Why do BI k WOInMl ~ pll1lcul voia 01 fury Ind dlppoInlrrwnl lorIh wt-gt 11 11_ muor drolroy when lIlltk nh OIher with 1-1 lOne of phiined Ind 001

IOCI nnlhilallonl 1 ha _ anooher to OUr own Ioweoo common JrnomlnltorbullbullnJ lhen WI pltlCffd 10 ~ and oblnlte1lI wh WI _ deIIte to 10- and h d pr0bshylematic wlf unclaimedbul ru+r dId ampom tht other

nu nuel 1la d uo ftanh- II bull piIu cl riw cl n1I wlh whilth WITI itted ampom he lime WIt

I 160 ampnw Ovnwu

born by Inc ho lnfended il 10 be n Injection d de fh Bur I we o pledlnwd TO li ke II in and ItullICrun nUcQ Y 11 _- laquo1111 In ordn 10 _hMnd d~ ther _ ht ro

buew-one and now _ brulle 1 upon dWOIher who Ioea-

How do 1alter-10 Neh Black -nfe 1-10 nor the fced m modwrOf my killerl

I _ 1--1 __ _ IoIlkIIO far - 1ft 1ft)

_ m bull n-- W ~ odwr bnaida tlaquoh ~~ - 001 odw~ Ncla ltWry rrrrw I iouo 001 __ Ihr rgtfict 1iocIIi1ld 1MMm1 da~ l w ID IC 1IfC1r

Thtft mny oruolont in heh 0( ou r li_ for ritheoul IUry mullplled nd dIYldl

bull Black ~ be1 told hf we cell be KJmthow hoof and I re wont but _ equal To Nc nom To OIhrr wonwn T ~flII

bull n ~ 1 ie fomi nilll n tht 11 10II 1lIis Brodrcul M ampcia m beau now illl_ eN 10 dnJ -lt r8dlm wlrhoul N 10 IKe thr haMlonI d Bleck undiluted by ar- colen Whir __ It tIw don nor N~ 10 nmine her _n opectIk _ end loollhl d 81101_ nor dnI WId rho ryn aI Black Omm So 11 11 wilt dirtY ucl mnn ampen n K~ up 0 In tinw

bull n lclll ll1lrlplftil(ho I thou I hd handled 00 po_ limd and well I ddnt blow up hll dmMd machine I exshypbolnnl how II K Ia blind modo moo fftI and how hit lilm CDlJlltJ be h-l TO h __nl Hr probbly lnmed hinc lIboullhowl nl md l-n lhrn IQmr homroo1_ IOn IIp my hou 00 m ~ beeu _ inYit1lncn oed 10 bI mlllplnled Nof woril hewdw r ri nat _

bull A oonvitlfd 8llaquok _nbull bull ronu_ ri 00 rhi ldrrn ann-Irincd lObi killrr -nr in journel in hiI ampm cdl bulln cr - _ _ ~ ~_~o-

- 0I000o _ ~r__oIIe- -- Wow1

En TO En 161

I m I type of prnon you _ lihl to find drivill bull M-nd oilf1nc In lhor neculhe ofIc d 100 biaClOlpOlmiddot 1Iono And hr rlihl EItnpI hrmiddot18Ialtk

Ho- do eep rnn _1 our bull II Ihrm upon I_ndh 1Ho- do I Iter mlffrom rhil poioon 1_ too ld lib 5InobufJ 100M unrill-ilfd dw 1nM oInyrh nouNh Utr dw ~ tr fIJI Ib b rJw b-III eIIIon bull We etoeh Iamrd 1M a-n 01dmaaion II idIl Iltnt IUllilo- rft IooIr how our woNo r f1ndih a1hrr in

k itdfflcuh lO~rucr hd -1_ lIloOltId hrn bull rounded _I INi for fillh Bur not im~bk We h Ihn 11 rvlved for bull -n (ioor do I ddlnr m lm~ pall rhl n nhn I betin by bullbullhina for dw riahl -shy

De Leon For rwo8 wornrn 10 rnrn n Ime or Ihrnprutic

rnlionIhip _ ~nnl n _ nlilll unchInN nd 1- iOUmrr n no proI~ lgtO~ nD obecIil 10 hie body d eJltIEitrwe a1hrr man ou by whith n rrhr opeci6ltdrNmiQ dour Im n lCt It 81laquo1lt wornrn Yn Ihil inln oorion ~ M In d a1her p-~hic mltfn IItmoIIed pmloundl k io 10 lLTUtinue 11 YfI( imtralice Ihll I 1 OUtp 11bull bullnd I hi IU I hil_ _ it mnlll piltbull bull

inc m IhrOUlh our limilirinnd our dillfttrQa -I It Ih our hiltOiin d Clkullled misrnw nd droilbull bull

8ecI il not been done brfore or If kilt not been notfd rhJo p-nlcul KTUUn ~nful nd frr with d wnrrbilir d llil poychil tiniet pi idI d dw pilmiddot fI UtOIfd by our _Ill BlICk lAEn in bull hqo _ lr Id 00 BIICn ho rvlved This it bull rurin olrm IIIoIeItpptd or ( a1l111idfd nimpOltlnl or taldt rhe poinl EXAMflpound I an rftI (OIl n d wtulE JllYhwornrn Mid to _ Wh ohouId bull nrr i I m BlICk or hire ho IOOUld nrvtr think d

I 160 ampnw Ovnwu

born by Inc ho lnfended il 10 be n Injection d de fh Bur I we o pledlnwd TO li ke II in and ItullICrun nUcQ Y 11 _- laquo1111 In ordn 10 _hMnd d~ ther _ ht ro

buew-one and now _ brulle 1 upon dWOIher who Ioea-

How do 1alter-10 Neh Black -nfe 1-10 nor the fced m modwrOf my killerl

I _ 1--1 __ _ IoIlkIIO far - 1ft 1ft)

_ m bull n-- W ~ odwr bnaida tlaquoh ~~ - 001 odw~ Ncla ltWry rrrrw I iouo 001 __ Ihr rgtfict 1iocIIi1ld 1MMm1 da~ l w ID IC 1IfC1r

Thtft mny oruolont in heh 0( ou r li_ for ritheoul IUry mullplled nd dIYldl

bull Black ~ be1 told hf we cell be KJmthow hoof and I re wont but _ equal To Nc nom To OIhrr wonwn T ~flII

bull n ~ 1 ie fomi nilll n tht 11 10II 1lIis Brodrcul M ampcia m beau now illl_ eN 10 dnJ -lt r8dlm wlrhoul N 10 IKe thr haMlonI d Bleck undiluted by ar- colen Whir __ It tIw don nor N~ 10 nmine her _n opectIk _ end loollhl d 81101_ nor dnI WId rho ryn aI Black Omm So 11 11 wilt dirtY ucl mnn ampen n K~ up 0 In tinw

bull n lclll ll1lrlplftil(ho I thou I hd handled 00 po_ limd and well I ddnt blow up hll dmMd machine I exshypbolnnl how II K Ia blind modo moo fftI and how hit lilm CDlJlltJ be h-l TO h __nl Hr probbly lnmed hinc lIboullhowl nl md l-n lhrn IQmr homroo1_ IOn IIp my hou 00 m ~ beeu _ inYit1lncn oed 10 bI mlllplnled Nof woril hewdw r ri nat _

bull A oonvitlfd 8llaquok _nbull bull ronu_ ri 00 rhi ldrrn ann-Irincd lObi killrr -nr in journel in hiI ampm cdl bulln cr - _ _ ~ ~_~o-

- 0I000o _ ~r__oIIe- -- Wow1

En TO En 161

I m I type of prnon you _ lihl to find drivill bull M-nd oilf1nc In lhor neculhe ofIc d 100 biaClOlpOlmiddot 1Iono And hr rlihl EItnpI hrmiddot18Ialtk

Ho- do eep rnn _1 our bull II Ihrm upon I_ndh 1Ho- do I Iter mlffrom rhil poioon 1_ too ld lib 5InobufJ 100M unrill-ilfd dw 1nM oInyrh nouNh Utr dw ~ tr fIJI Ib b rJw b-III eIIIon bull We etoeh Iamrd 1M a-n 01dmaaion II idIl Iltnt IUllilo- rft IooIr how our woNo r f1ndih a1hrr in

k itdfflcuh lO~rucr hd -1_ lIloOltId hrn bull rounded _I INi for fillh Bur not im~bk We h Ihn 11 rvlved for bull -n (ioor do I ddlnr m lm~ pall rhl n nhn I betin by bullbullhina for dw riahl -shy

De Leon For rwo8 wornrn 10 rnrn n Ime or Ihrnprutic

rnlionIhip _ ~nnl n _ nlilll unchInN nd 1- iOUmrr n no proI~ lgtO~ nD obecIil 10 hie body d eJltIEitrwe a1hrr man ou by whith n rrhr opeci6ltdrNmiQ dour Im n lCt It 81laquo1lt wornrn Yn Ihil inln oorion ~ M In d a1her p-~hic mltfn IItmoIIed pmloundl k io 10 lLTUtinue 11 YfI( imtralice Ihll I 1 OUtp 11bull bullnd I hi IU I hil_ _ it mnlll piltbull bull

inc m IhrOUlh our limilirinnd our dillfttrQa -I It Ih our hiltOiin d Clkullled misrnw nd droilbull bull

8ecI il not been done brfore or If kilt not been notfd rhJo p-nlcul KTUUn ~nful nd frr with d wnrrbilir d llil poychil tiniet pi idI d dw pilmiddot fI UtOIfd by our _Ill BlICk lAEn in bull hqo _ lr Id 00 BIICn ho rvlved This it bull rurin olrm IIIoIeItpptd or ( a1l111idfd nimpOltlnl or taldt rhe poinl EXAMflpound I an rftI (OIl n d wtulE JllYhwornrn Mid to _ Wh ohouId bull nrr i I m BlICk or hire ho IOOUld nrvtr think d

162 SISTUOvnD

saying Why d it matter if I am ~male or male EX AMPLE I don know who you are in upoervillon with bu I can bet it not with another Black woman

So this erTiory betwn u fl w and frightening a well urtnt rigged wih detonatiti pi~eoof our own inmiddot dividual acial hitori which neilet of US ch05e bu which each of u bean the Karl from And th05e are pabullbull ticula to each of us Bu then is a hisrory which ~ hare because we are Black wo~n in bull rad$t sexi cauldron and that mean oome part of hi journey i you aloo

I have man y troubled aea of elf rha will be neither new nor problematic to you a a trained and capable psychrson 1 think you are a brave woman and I rpea that yet I doubt th at your training can have prepared you to explore the tangle of need ~ar ditrut despair and hope which operat between U ad certainly not to the depth roelaquoI$ary ampcaue neither of u is male nor while ~ belong to a group of human beIngs that ha no been tnought wort hy of that kind of ud y So we have only who we are with or withou the couragf ro use Ihoot selvfor further explontion and c1arifkation of how what li betwttn us a Black women affects u and the work we do togerher

Yet if we do not do it here betwn u each one ci II will have ro do ir oomewhee dse lIOffieti~

I know rhese rhings I do not yer know whar to do about them But I do wam to make Ihem fit togeher to Illtlve my life and my work and I don mean merely in way th at feels safe I done know how they can further and ilmiddot luminaee your life nd work but I know they can It i lIOffietim both he cu rse and the blill of Ihe poet 10 perceive wilhou yet being ble 10order those percept iorn and tbae is another name for Cha

But ci COUrse i i our of Chaoo that new world ae bow-

I look forward to our m~ing eye to eye

A

En TO E 163

III

There h been 00 much ooth and lou around me recently wirhou meta phor or redeeming ymbol t hat oometi I feel napped into one idiom only - lhal one of oulfering nd il codidl to bear The same problem exi15with nfle1 1 have proshycased too much of il recently or else the machine ry is lowill down or becoming leos efficiem and it creepo into my moot nucial intercha ngeo

Perh po thi is why il is often eier for Black women to inmiddot teaa wil h while women even though those imeraetiorn are often a dead end emot iona lly For with white women there is a midd le depth ci interaction possible and uKainable an emoshytional Iimil to relatiohipoof If upon If acknowledged

Now why is th is nor 00 with Franc who i whie end whom I meet at a depth beyond anyollltl When Iak of Fra and me I am alking bout reltionhip not only of greal depth bu one of greal breadth aloo a totaling ofditferen= with out mell ing I am aloo aking of love haped by ou r mUlUal commitmiddot mem to hard wo k and oonfrontation over many a each of u refuoing 10 Illtltle for whal wu easy or imple or lKXeptably oonvenielll

That middle depth of rdation hip more uually pouib1e beshyrweoen Black and whire women however is I th reaening th an the tangle of unexplored needs and futi th a face ny two

Black women who _ k 10 enPilt each other dirltCtly emoshytionlly no marielt wha the con ext of rheir relation hip may be Thit hold true for office worken and polilical acrivim as well 1151ove Bm it is through threadi ng this lIle Iha new villio of self and possibility betwttn Black women etRell Again I am aking hen ofsod] relarioruhipo for i is (Idal thar we examine dynamics between women who are not love Ii ~lIa between women who are

I ak my lf do I ever u my war agoirnt racism to void other even more unanwerable pain l And if 00 doeonr th al make Ihe ener llY behind my hanl againK racim oometimn more tenuou or I d earheaded or bjcr to unexpecled 01 nd dippoirmentll White people can never truly

I

166 sru 0uTIuJp

v Whc _ illllh 10 ~ IOUamphI Lnned auekyl

No lher It bound 10 be bull YOKe ri dMI ampk WOITMn

lra helped one noIhcr nt _ I And 11 It 1M pII rdox et ou r inner conniel W h bull Arone nd ndn trdilion d bondlnd muru 1ppon nd dw n -ud thraJo etIhM Irdilon ftlolt llhin each 01 in OJPnon 10

dur-r nd MVJo middotnluodo eJ by~I ftc IIwoo u__ qNJUI w ~ Jro-o 1 1

uec pw -cI Ndc dro laquo1- bullHe I wwda ha p proyoeJ M _ prO

found nd poIFMnI ai within for _ hi J neJ 0 ( l nd could IlOl _ il hd hppened for Ther _ Black n forhom il h For Ol Mol ua 11 1 ofbei ble 10 dqgtnd upoa rock bouom ppon ampom OUr Mal ItlOlMlhill_ dram boubullbullndk Id k il Iible bul - ftI p obklNlK d raIi_ d bull nd picion Iibt1 u

0IIr I 0Yn 1WVil ira ohomcreJ bdund dow_ 1 Of doc blanl OUI d OUr at ft oddotr u Lool up ampom bftwun Ih kp ai Jogtn nowboolo in It middle dIKtund I I moar lct my nd l hou hl lirei up FOltCT in lhe 1rJr filb oul II form bchind d uncmploynwnc offic window Meppinl OUI et cab in lhe mlddlto et Brn on drm ole buoi-moon hom Laaoo -Pi head 01 into bull tioop I open lhe doxw lold inlOh for oplil tKond I _ lVnoua noni My daqhteT _ u II Ii_

lamphm oN bullbull link IIrl ~ 8IT boul _hllI r

Ac BlKk n hve ampIIeJ our 100often buneJ IMm u llcclllwm _ Ibullbull COIMlhem 1riIdI inco 1lI ai II end m from which no vibrion raoundod hUlleJ IIwm iflla h Iwr llaquo1h nd lhen ducked to YOid lhe lmJ-t BoI by end _ volltl OfnftjH ai IIwm

middot - _I_- A_ middot a-__-loo__

En TO En 167

Of cordo IMm 011 in bullbull and habIo poIi 1M II ilodl unnampod Up MCM unmeJ end pmcrwd forewT W ~ Muffed wrrh furia illli oondvee n11 Kh OIlMr lifTtfied CO nnunc lhem 11lt find oond_ in bold plil fi ednd meJ 1 _ hve 11 It end n _ ploftornd aul to be shy And ciftllinl Iwre oolh XC inu au li_ ~ _ can ou IlIhoIbull -h b man himmn I can aVDid confroobullbullion wlIh each odwr ftI

rncbly II bull to much to ou dUn doni thM (nW1 d mn nd ionIlly unk-deJ ir II to much _ co n~ OUr n lhow IIIidcfk dqgtch d tionth~ IIMI do h_ inc fpowrc And fI el l hal hu tint the belnce Jrbullbull hungn tinr the ruI hared tinr the Mo ho

11 II herd to Ind up in the _h et h dwiJIcl end Ii I i et ndcr hj end kk 11 bull to much haroo 10 _kk ~ II rejlaquollon et8lMk _n ho mey ~ ouifOl

f Iin m for IMy he nDI d1rdeJ m that mormiddot lOr who n lhe WI lhey he agtrnc IU ~ dorirown So ofr Iua In 1I ltgtIrcltI bt1 BlKk iiIn by die w aibull nWo rorn~nion pIiWII or h cfrOf For we he Ito Mn uaht h1bull mn ICqUw he- mu et~bullbullnd yfllh lrnoII ~

()n Black __n 1111 nd IenII ~ norl= hooot ohc Iaolc hooot oM enamp how ohc im~ hno The fj

__nbull In ro hIed If SN 10 rilll II im~bk SN 1I-r lhe d ohcdoeo fully m 10 bc SM doeo nor nI co IItaP tl _~ noI beauty SIwheo he her WCItIampn 1d Skwshyme odwr n ld NOli 0Il 011= lhen nod Black _n She hco 0IlllUllh ttOUbIo dNh wilh bc1nl hnwlf Wh dunl you cn to n lIT oara I Don ~ VltIU undonlnd hM your_npoor oho1 Mra 1 m If I could A rd orruinl do btlaquo job lhan Nr cn ~ you put e n-I 1M Ie II It MubI _ cculd 10 chow

I

166 sru 0uTIuJp

v Whc _ illllh 10 ~ IOUamphI Lnned auekyl

No lher It bound 10 be bull YOKe ri dMI ampk WOITMn

lra helped one noIhcr nt _ I And 11 It 1M pII rdox et ou r inner conniel W h bull Arone nd ndn trdilion d bondlnd muru 1ppon nd dw n -ud thraJo etIhM Irdilon ftlolt llhin each 01 in OJPnon 10

dur-r nd MVJo middotnluodo eJ by~I ftc IIwoo u__ qNJUI w ~ Jro-o 1 1

uec pw -cI Ndc dro laquo1- bullHe I wwda ha p proyoeJ M _ prO

found nd poIFMnI ai within for _ hi J neJ 0 ( l nd could IlOl _ il hd hppened for Ther _ Black n forhom il h For Ol Mol ua 11 1 ofbei ble 10 dqgtnd upoa rock bouom ppon ampom OUr Mal ItlOlMlhill_ dram boubullbullndk Id k il Iible bul - ftI p obklNlK d raIi_ d bull nd picion Iibt1 u

0IIr I 0Yn 1WVil ira ohomcreJ bdund dow_ 1 Of doc blanl OUI d OUr at ft oddotr u Lool up ampom bftwun Ih kp ai Jogtn nowboolo in It middle dIKtund I I moar lct my nd l hou hl lirei up FOltCT in lhe 1rJr filb oul II form bchind d uncmploynwnc offic window Meppinl OUI et cab in lhe mlddlto et Brn on drm ole buoi-moon hom Laaoo -Pi head 01 into bull tioop I open lhe doxw lold inlOh for oplil tKond I _ lVnoua noni My daqhteT _ u II Ii_

lamphm oN bullbull link IIrl ~ 8IT boul _hllI r

Ac BlKk n hve ampIIeJ our 100often buneJ IMm u llcclllwm _ Ibullbull COIMlhem 1riIdI inco 1lI ai II end m from which no vibrion raoundod hUlleJ IIwm iflla h Iwr llaquo1h nd lhen ducked to YOid lhe lmJ-t BoI by end _ volltl OfnftjH ai IIwm

middot - _I_- A_ middot a-__-loo__

En TO En 167

Of cordo IMm 011 in bullbull and habIo poIi 1M II ilodl unnampod Up MCM unmeJ end pmcrwd forewT W ~ Muffed wrrh furia illli oondvee n11 Kh OIlMr lifTtfied CO nnunc lhem 11lt find oond_ in bold plil fi ednd meJ 1 _ hve 11 It end n _ ploftornd aul to be shy And ciftllinl Iwre oolh XC inu au li_ ~ _ can ou IlIhoIbull -h b man himmn I can aVDid confroobullbullion wlIh each odwr ftI

rncbly II bull to much to ou dUn doni thM (nW1 d mn nd ionIlly unk-deJ ir II to much _ co n~ OUr n lhow IIIidcfk dqgtch d tionth~ IIMI do h_ inc fpowrc And fI el l hal hu tint the belnce Jrbullbull hungn tinr the ruI hared tinr the Mo ho

11 II herd to Ind up in the _h et h dwiJIcl end Ii I i et ndcr hj end kk 11 bull to much haroo 10 _kk ~ II rejlaquollon et8lMk _n ho mey ~ ouifOl

f Iin m for IMy he nDI d1rdeJ m that mormiddot lOr who n lhe WI lhey he agtrnc IU ~ dorirown So ofr Iua In 1I ltgtIrcltI bt1 BlKk iiIn by die w aibull nWo rorn~nion pIiWII or h cfrOf For we he Ito Mn uaht h1bull mn ICqUw he- mu et~bullbullnd yfllh lrnoII ~

()n Black __n 1111 nd IenII ~ norl= hooot ohc Iaolc hooot oM enamp how ohc im~ hno The fj

__nbull In ro hIed If SN 10 rilll II im~bk SN 1I-r lhe d ohcdoeo fully m 10 bc SM doeo nor nI co IItaP tl _~ noI beauty SIwheo he her WCItIampn 1d Skwshyme odwr n ld NOli 0Il 011= lhen nod Black _n She hco 0IlllUllh ttOUbIo dNh wilh bc1nl hnwlf Wh dunl you cn to n lIT oara I Don ~ VltIU undonlnd hM your_npoor oho1 Mra 1 m If I could A rd orruinl do btlaquo job lhan Nr cn ~ you put e n-I 1M Ie II It MubI _ cculd 10 chow

166 sru 0uTIuJp

v Whc _ illllh 10 ~ IOUamphI Lnned auekyl

No lher It bound 10 be bull YOKe ri dMI ampk WOITMn

lra helped one noIhcr nt _ I And 11 It 1M pII rdox et ou r inner conniel W h bull Arone nd ndn trdilion d bondlnd muru 1ppon nd dw n -ud thraJo etIhM Irdilon ftlolt llhin each 01 in OJPnon 10

dur-r nd MVJo middotnluodo eJ by~I ftc IIwoo u__ qNJUI w ~ Jro-o 1 1

uec pw -cI Ndc dro laquo1- bullHe I wwda ha p proyoeJ M _ prO

found nd poIFMnI ai within for _ hi J neJ 0 ( l nd could IlOl _ il hd hppened for Ther _ Black n forhom il h For Ol Mol ua 11 1 ofbei ble 10 dqgtnd upoa rock bouom ppon ampom OUr Mal ItlOlMlhill_ dram boubullbullndk Id k il Iible bul - ftI p obklNlK d raIi_ d bull nd picion Iibt1 u

0IIr I 0Yn 1WVil ira ohomcreJ bdund dow_ 1 Of doc blanl OUI d OUr at ft oddotr u Lool up ampom bftwun Ih kp ai Jogtn nowboolo in It middle dIKtund I I moar lct my nd l hou hl lirei up FOltCT in lhe 1rJr filb oul II form bchind d uncmploynwnc offic window Meppinl OUI et cab in lhe mlddlto et Brn on drm ole buoi-moon hom Laaoo -Pi head 01 into bull tioop I open lhe doxw lold inlOh for oplil tKond I _ lVnoua noni My daqhteT _ u II Ii_

lamphm oN bullbull link IIrl ~ 8IT boul _hllI r

Ac BlKk n hve ampIIeJ our 100often buneJ IMm u llcclllwm _ Ibullbull COIMlhem 1riIdI inco 1lI ai II end m from which no vibrion raoundod hUlleJ IIwm iflla h Iwr llaquo1h nd lhen ducked to YOid lhe lmJ-t BoI by end _ volltl OfnftjH ai IIwm

middot - _I_- A_ middot a-__-loo__

En TO En 167

Of cordo IMm 011 in bullbull and habIo poIi 1M II ilodl unnampod Up MCM unmeJ end pmcrwd forewT W ~ Muffed wrrh furia illli oondvee n11 Kh OIlMr lifTtfied CO nnunc lhem 11lt find oond_ in bold plil fi ednd meJ 1 _ hve 11 It end n _ ploftornd aul to be shy And ciftllinl Iwre oolh XC inu au li_ ~ _ can ou IlIhoIbull -h b man himmn I can aVDid confroobullbullion wlIh each odwr ftI

rncbly II bull to much to ou dUn doni thM (nW1 d mn nd ionIlly unk-deJ ir II to much _ co n~ OUr n lhow IIIidcfk dqgtch d tionth~ IIMI do h_ inc fpowrc And fI el l hal hu tint the belnce Jrbullbull hungn tinr the ruI hared tinr the Mo ho

11 II herd to Ind up in the _h et h dwiJIcl end Ii I i et ndcr hj end kk 11 bull to much haroo 10 _kk ~ II rejlaquollon et8lMk _n ho mey ~ ouifOl

f Iin m for IMy he nDI d1rdeJ m that mormiddot lOr who n lhe WI lhey he agtrnc IU ~ dorirown So ofr Iua In 1I ltgtIrcltI bt1 BlKk iiIn by die w aibull nWo rorn~nion pIiWII or h cfrOf For we he Ito Mn uaht h1bull mn ICqUw he- mu et~bullbullnd yfllh lrnoII ~

()n Black __n 1111 nd IenII ~ norl= hooot ohc Iaolc hooot oM enamp how ohc im~ hno The fj

__nbull In ro hIed If SN 10 rilll II im~bk SN 1I-r lhe d ohcdoeo fully m 10 bc SM doeo nor nI co IItaP tl _~ noI beauty SIwheo he her WCItIampn 1d Skwshyme odwr n ld NOli 0Il 011= lhen nod Black _n She hco 0IlllUllh ttOUbIo dNh wilh bc1nl hnwlf Wh dunl you cn to n lIT oara I Don ~ VltIU undonlnd hM your_npoor oho1 Mra 1 m If I could A rd orruinl do btlaquo job lhan Nr cn ~ you put e n-I 1M Ie II It MubI _ cculd 10 chow

Herili -~ imiddotIf - bull

fi~f~I r iLr I~ a ii- Sshy1- bull if5c~ Umiddot~ -

e f~ ~i - J i-~ ift 2shyti~v

~ ii t ifill tiSrHt

amp

lbull ~ bull

I

I

172 S ISTER OUTSIDER

pa in withou t recogniz ing it self-consciously I rob myself of the powe r th at can come from It~ing that pain the powe r (Q fuel ome rnove rnenr beyond it I condemn myself to reliving tha t

pa in over and over and over whe neve r something close triggers it And rha is suffering a seemingly inescapable cycle

A nd tru e experiencing old pai n sometimes feels like hurling myself full force against a co nc rete wall But I remind myself that I HAVE LIVED T HROUGH IT A LL A LREADY AN SURVIVED

Sometimes the anger that lies between Black wome n is not exshyamined because we spe nd so much of our substance having to examine others constantly in the name of self-protection and survival and we canno t reserve enough ene rgy to scr utinize ou rselves Sometimes we dont do it because the angers been there so long we dont know what it is or we th ink its na tural to suffer rather than to experience pain Sometimes becau se we re afraid of what we will find Sometimes because we don t h ink we deserve it The revulsio n on the woma ns face in the sub way as she

moves her coat away and I th ink she is seeing a roa ch But I see the hatred in her eyes because she wants me to see the hatred in he r eyes because she wants me (Q know in only the way a ch ild can know that I dont belong alive in he r world If Id bee n

rown Id probably have laughed or snarled or been hu rt seen it for wha t it was Bur I am five years old I see it I recor d it I do not name it so the experience is incomp lete It is not pain it becomes suffering

And how can I tell you I don t like the way you cut you r eyes at me if I know that I am going to release all t he unnamed ange rs within you spawned by the hatred you have suffered and neve r feld

So we are draw n to each o ther but wary I demanding the inshystant perfection we wou ld neve r expect from our ene mies But it is possible to break through this inherited agony to refuse acshy

uiescen ce in th is bitter charade of isolat ion and anger and pain

I read th is question many times in the letters of Black women Why do I feel myself to be such an anathema so isolated I

EYE TO E YE 173

hear it spoken over and over a ai s But we can change that scenario We can learn to mo ther ours elves ~

Whnt does that mea n for ac women t establish au thority ove r our own definition pro vide an atren shytive concern and expecta tion of growth which is the beginni ng of that acceptance we came to expect o n ly from ou r mothers It _ mea ns that I affinn my own wor th by committing myself to my tfe( own survival in my own self and in th e self of other Black women On the other hand it means that as I learn my worth and genuine possibility I refuse to set tle for anything less than a rigorous pursui t of the possible in myse lf at the same ~im_e~ 1 ( ~ a dist inction be tween what is possible and what the ourside l won i s mc to do in order to prove I am human It means being ab le to recognize my success es 0 e ten er with myself even whe n 1fail

We will begin to see each other as we da re to begin to see ourselves we will begin to See ou rselves as we begin to see eac h other without aggra ndizement or dismissal or recrimin ations bu t with patience and unders tanding for when we do not qui te make it and recognition and appreciation for when we do

IMotheri ng ourselves means learning to love what we ha ve given b irth to by giving defin itio n to lea rning how to be both kind

nd de manding in the teeth of failure as well as in the face 0

success and no t misna ming either When ) Oll come to respect the character of the time ) OlL wi ll no

fo- rJ- have co cover emptyness with pretense tJ~ 1e mus t recognize and nurtu re the creative parts of each ~ ot her wit hout always understanding what will be crea ted I

f As we fear each ot he r less and value eacn other more we will

come to value recognition within each other s eyes as well ~

~ ~ith i n OYI own and k a balan between he visions

l1)-0 M~ Claiming some power over who we choose to be

and knowing that suc h power is relative within the realities of

~ our lives Yet knowing t hat only t hro u~h the use of that power can we effectively change those rcalitiesrMothering means the laying to rest of what is weak timid ana dam aged - without

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172 S ISTER OUTSIDER

pa in withou t recogniz ing it self-consciously I rob myself of the powe r th at can come from It~ing that pain the powe r (Q fuel ome rnove rnenr beyond it I condemn myself to reliving tha t

pa in over and over and over whe neve r something close triggers it And rha is suffering a seemingly inescapable cycle

A nd tru e experiencing old pai n sometimes feels like hurling myself full force against a co nc rete wall But I remind myself that I HAVE LIVED T HROUGH IT A LL A LREADY AN SURVIVED

Sometimes the anger that lies between Black wome n is not exshyamined because we spe nd so much of our substance having to examine others constantly in the name of self-protection and survival and we canno t reserve enough ene rgy to scr utinize ou rselves Sometimes we dont do it because the angers been there so long we dont know what it is or we th ink its na tural to suffer rather than to experience pain Sometimes becau se we re afraid of what we will find Sometimes because we don t h ink we deserve it The revulsio n on the woma ns face in the sub way as she

moves her coat away and I th ink she is seeing a roa ch But I see the hatred in her eyes because she wants me to see the hatred in he r eyes because she wants me (Q know in only the way a ch ild can know that I dont belong alive in he r world If Id bee n

rown Id probably have laughed or snarled or been hu rt seen it for wha t it was Bur I am five years old I see it I recor d it I do not name it so the experience is incomp lete It is not pain it becomes suffering

And how can I tell you I don t like the way you cut you r eyes at me if I know that I am going to release all t he unnamed ange rs within you spawned by the hatred you have suffered and neve r feld

So we are draw n to each o ther but wary I demanding the inshystant perfection we wou ld neve r expect from our ene mies But it is possible to break through this inherited agony to refuse acshy

uiescen ce in th is bitter charade of isolat ion and anger and pain

I read th is question many times in the letters of Black women Why do I feel myself to be such an anathema so isolated I

EYE TO E YE 173

hear it spoken over and over a ai s But we can change that scenario We can learn to mo ther ours elves ~

Whnt does that mea n for ac women t establish au thority ove r our own definition pro vide an atren shytive concern and expecta tion of growth which is the beginni ng of that acceptance we came to expect o n ly from ou r mothers It _ mea ns that I affinn my own wor th by committing myself to my tfe( own survival in my own self and in th e self of other Black women On the other hand it means that as I learn my worth and genuine possibility I refuse to set tle for anything less than a rigorous pursui t of the possible in myse lf at the same ~im_e~ 1 ( ~ a dist inction be tween what is possible and what the ourside l won i s mc to do in order to prove I am human It means being ab le to recognize my success es 0 e ten er with myself even whe n 1fail

We will begin to see each other as we da re to begin to see ourselves we will begin to See ou rselves as we begin to see eac h other without aggra ndizement or dismissal or recrimin ations bu t with patience and unders tanding for when we do not qui te make it and recognition and appreciation for when we do

IMotheri ng ourselves means learning to love what we ha ve given b irth to by giving defin itio n to lea rning how to be both kind

nd de manding in the teeth of failure as well as in the face 0

success and no t misna ming either When ) Oll come to respect the character of the time ) OlL wi ll no

fo- rJ- have co cover emptyness with pretense tJ~ 1e mus t recognize and nurtu re the creative parts of each ~ ot her wit hout always understanding what will be crea ted I

f As we fear each ot he r less and value eacn other more we will

come to value recognition within each other s eyes as well ~

~ ~ith i n OYI own and k a balan between he visions

l1)-0 M~ Claiming some power over who we choose to be

and knowing that suc h power is relative within the realities of

~ our lives Yet knowing t hat only t hro u~h the use of that power can we effectively change those rcalitiesrMothering means the laying to rest of what is weak timid ana dam aged - without

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JAAv~tX ~ ~~ ~~~ )

1

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_

172 S ISTER OUTSIDER

pa in withou t recogniz ing it self-consciously I rob myself of the powe r th at can come from It~ing that pain the powe r (Q fuel ome rnove rnenr beyond it I condemn myself to reliving tha t

pa in over and over and over whe neve r something close triggers it And rha is suffering a seemingly inescapable cycle

A nd tru e experiencing old pai n sometimes feels like hurling myself full force against a co nc rete wall But I remind myself that I HAVE LIVED T HROUGH IT A LL A LREADY AN SURVIVED

Sometimes the anger that lies between Black wome n is not exshyamined because we spe nd so much of our substance having to examine others constantly in the name of self-protection and survival and we canno t reserve enough ene rgy to scr utinize ou rselves Sometimes we dont do it because the angers been there so long we dont know what it is or we th ink its na tural to suffer rather than to experience pain Sometimes becau se we re afraid of what we will find Sometimes because we don t h ink we deserve it The revulsio n on the woma ns face in the sub way as she

moves her coat away and I th ink she is seeing a roa ch But I see the hatred in her eyes because she wants me to see the hatred in he r eyes because she wants me (Q know in only the way a ch ild can know that I dont belong alive in he r world If Id bee n

rown Id probably have laughed or snarled or been hu rt seen it for wha t it was Bur I am five years old I see it I recor d it I do not name it so the experience is incomp lete It is not pain it becomes suffering

And how can I tell you I don t like the way you cut you r eyes at me if I know that I am going to release all t he unnamed ange rs within you spawned by the hatred you have suffered and neve r feld

So we are draw n to each o ther but wary I demanding the inshystant perfection we wou ld neve r expect from our ene mies But it is possible to break through this inherited agony to refuse acshy

uiescen ce in th is bitter charade of isolat ion and anger and pain

I read th is question many times in the letters of Black women Why do I feel myself to be such an anathema so isolated I

EYE TO E YE 173

hear it spoken over and over a ai s But we can change that scenario We can learn to mo ther ours elves ~

Whnt does that mea n for ac women t establish au thority ove r our own definition pro vide an atren shytive concern and expecta tion of growth which is the beginni ng of that acceptance we came to expect o n ly from ou r mothers It _ mea ns that I affinn my own wor th by committing myself to my tfe( own survival in my own self and in th e self of other Black women On the other hand it means that as I learn my worth and genuine possibility I refuse to set tle for anything less than a rigorous pursui t of the possible in myse lf at the same ~im_e~ 1 ( ~ a dist inction be tween what is possible and what the ourside l won i s mc to do in order to prove I am human It means being ab le to recognize my success es 0 e ten er with myself even whe n 1fail

We will begin to see each other as we da re to begin to see ourselves we will begin to See ou rselves as we begin to see eac h other without aggra ndizement or dismissal or recrimin ations bu t with patience and unders tanding for when we do not qui te make it and recognition and appreciation for when we do

IMotheri ng ourselves means learning to love what we ha ve given b irth to by giving defin itio n to lea rning how to be both kind

nd de manding in the teeth of failure as well as in the face 0

success and no t misna ming either When ) Oll come to respect the character of the time ) OlL wi ll no

fo- rJ- have co cover emptyness with pretense tJ~ 1e mus t recognize and nurtu re the creative parts of each ~ ot her wit hout always understanding what will be crea ted I

f As we fear each ot he r less and value eacn other more we will

come to value recognition within each other s eyes as well ~

~ ~ith i n OYI own and k a balan between he visions

l1)-0 M~ Claiming some power over who we choose to be

and knowing that suc h power is relative within the realities of

~ our lives Yet knowing t hat only t hro u~h the use of that power can we effectively change those rcalitiesrMothering means the laying to rest of what is weak timid ana dam aged - without

bull FromTheI

JAAv~tX ~ ~~ ~~~ )

1

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_

1

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_