The Literary MemorialThe Literary Memorial

A Resource for Victims of Violence Trauma & AbuseA Resource for Victims of Violence Trauma & Abuse

Peace Rally, 22 June 2013,Luton, Bedfordshire

Organised by the following Luton Community Or-

ganisations: The Non-Violence Alliance (TNVA);

Grassroots; Luton Council of Faiths; Tropical

FM; Heritage Associates; Jamrock Radio and The

Walk to Freedom.

Speakers:

David Jonathan - Coordinator at Grassroots (Luton). MC

Richard Atkinson – Bishop of Bedfordshire

Delaney Brown (Snr) - Grandfather of murdered teenager

Myrna Loy – Founder & CEO of Blackbright News & DMK

Counselling & Advisory Svs

Saundra Glenn – Interim Vice-Chair, African Caribbean Strate-

gic Partnership Group (ACSP)

David Boyle – Superintendant (Bedfordshire Police)

Kelvin Hopkins, MP

Bob Baker – Heritage Associates

Victor Evelyn – Young Warriors Youth Development Academy

SPEECH DELIVERED AT THE PEACE RALLY

I am Myrna Loy, Founder & Managing Editor of Black-

bright Newseum (a proactive resource for victims of vio-

lent crime and a voice for those who have lost loved ones

or who have adapted to a tragic situation).

I am a mother of 3 daughters and 5 grandchildren – 3 of

which are boys, and this speech is made to support non-

violence.

Personally, I cannot watch anything with an iota of vio-

lence in it, it makes me feel extremely uncomfortable, so

much so, that as soon as the music starts and I sense

something violent is going to happen, I either change the

channel or, if I am in the room with someone, I leave the

room. However, even though I have never advocated vi-

olence, or shown a violent film around my children, the

more gory a film is, the more enjoyable they find it. I be-

lieve this ‘addiction’ to violence is the power of imagery,

advertising reinforced by media strategy, and should not

be underestimated!

Graphic violence is pushed in our faces at all angles - it is

as though the producers and programmers are dedicated

to making violence more attractive, accessible and ac-

ceptable for us to watch, enhancing it with graphics -

3D/HD - for maximum subliminal impact; testing to see

how much horror we can handle, so that street stabbings

and shootings are made to look trivial by comparison.

If society is becoming immune to violence, we only have

ourselves to blame for downplaying violent scenes in films

in front of our children by saying “It is only acting”, forget-

ting that depending on the mindset of the child, it could

be difficult for them to process fiction versus reality.

Young children who see someone killed in one film and

then play a different role in another film, may subcon-

sciously believe that if they murder someone, s/he is not

really dead, but will re-appear somewhere else, like in film

- is there anyone who educates them about this?

As children cannot be monitored 24 hours, and many

have smart phones, it is virtually impossible to protect

them from violent scenes, so as ‘carers of society’ we

need to educate them on the impact violence has on fam-

ilies, friends and the whole social network.

How can we penalise young boys when so many of them

have been raised in domestic abuse environments and

are probably mimicking violence impressed on them at a

very young age? As teenagers, they are likely to face sit-

uations that reinforce or provoke their vulnerabilities, and

many are not equipped to harness their emotions of anger,

fear, betrayal and resentment - and so vent those emo-

tions in harmful ways.

As a Qualified counsellor, and Managing Editor of Black-

Bright News, I empathise with the survivors of violent

crime and offer counselling and advisory services and will

signpost where appropriate.

2

Blackbright Newseum is a Literary Memoriam

based in Luton, that supports survivors and co-vic-

tims who have lost loved ones to violent crime.

Blackbright Newseum (a supplement to Blackbright

News), also serves as a voice for victims of trauma,

violence, bias and abuse. Survivors of pain need

time to grieve and get adjusted to demands put

upon them at a time they are feeling most vulnera-

ble, after which, they may need to share the mem-

ory of the deceased loved one, re-live a painful

experience (albeit anonymously) to bring closure,

but feel they have lost the opportunity, because

usually that opportunity has been lost with time.

With Blackbright Newseum, there is no time limit.

If you would like to share side of your loved one that

nobody knew, or share an ordeal that you have now

adjusted to, then please email via blackbright-

news@gmail.com.

Blackbright Newseum will also be a proactive out-

reach resource for survivors who wished they had

known what to expect. Much of the instructions

and advice received by police, family liaison officers,

well-meaning family members and friends, is re-

ceived at a time the survivor is in a state of confu-

sion, panic and trauma, so it becomes difficult to

process the information. Blackbright Newseum will

benefit anyone who could potentially be a victim or

survivor of violent crime or other tragic situation.

Blackbright Newseum will also signpost co-victims

to delivery partners, advocacy services, and DMK

Counselling & Advisory Services to assist with social

and personal issues.

Blackbright Newseum, in partnership with DMK

Counselling and Advisory Services, where Discour-

aged Minds get Kindness (DMK) is an Out-of-Hours

Social Enterprise dedicated to supporting African-

Caribbean families experiencing depression due to

traumatic circumstances and provides indigenous

stress counselling and advisory services to help ease

the impact of grief, depression and trauma.

Black-Bright Newseum

A Literary Memorial &

Pro-Active Resource for

Victims of Violent Crime

in partnership with

DMK COUNSELLING & ADVISORY LTD(Discouraged Minds get Kindness)

DMK is an Out-of-Hours Social Enterprise

dedicated to supporting Vulnerable Adults

experiencing Stress or Depression

because of a sudden change in circumstances

Company No. 08080826

Studio 57

Luton LU2 0QG

Tel: 01582 721 605

Black-Bright NewsStimulates - Motivates - Educates

Founder & CEO: Myrna Loy, Dip C, NH.Inst

New Logo Designed by: Flo Alowaja

ISSN No: 1751-1909

Quartlery Periodical

Email: blackbrightnews@gmail.com

Previous issues: www.issuu.com/blackbrightnews

3

Grief - “The Human Experience”

Wanda Bincer, M.D.

Madison, Wisconsin

(Taken from M.O.M.S - Mothers of Murdered Sons website)

Grief is a universal human experience and all of us

are familiar with the feelings of pain and sadness

following a loss. We read about tragedies every day

in the newspapers, see them on TV, hear about mis-

fortunes from friends or experience a loss of some-

one dear to us through illness or old age. Our culture

tends to encourage us to ignore death and pain, and

promotes the myth that we can all be young, beau-

tiful and if we live right, happy forever.

Many have read or heard of the work of Elisabeth

Kubler-Ross and other experts on death and dying.

Thus we are familiar with the stages of grief, shock,

denial, rage, despair, and finally acceptance. We

may find reassurance in the fact that the terrain has

been studied, that there is a map on how to travel the

areas that need to be passed on the road to our des-

tination. For some the travel is made easier by a

strong faith, by a sense of meaning and purpose, and

by the firm belief that they will need with absent

loved ones after death.

At different times many of us come into contact with

grieving persons at a funeral, memorial service or

when visiting the bereaved. We offer caring words,

compassion, practical help and maybe even love, but

then we are finished and go on with our lives. I was

thrust into the world of senseless violence, grief and

anguish with the sudden news of the murder of my

oldest child and only daughter. It began with utter

shock and disbelief and a slim hope that a mistake

had been made. The shock and disbelief still catch

me at times, even though four years have passed.

And of course a terrible mistake was made; some

cruel and misguided man ended the life of a young

woman, who loved life, people and animals. She

picked up stray puppies, loved children, had a radi-

ant sunny smile and wanted to start a camp for men-

tally retarded and disabled children. A part of me

was killed with her and I will never be the same

again.

We all ask “why.” We become acutely aware of our

vulnerability. The world suddenly becomes an unfair

and dangerous place. Our sense of trust, order, and

the belief that should we live just and good life noth-

ing bad will happen to us, are shattered. However,

it is important to remember that we are all individ-

uals, that our circumstances differ, as does the length

and pattern of our grief. What we can offer those

who are grieving is a caring acceptance of their spe-

cial way of dealing with their anguish and a willing-

ness to listen.

“Give Sorrow Words” is the message of the self-sup-

port group Parents of Murdered Children. Healing

can be facilitated by telling one’s story again and

again and by allowing oneself to experience pain,

rage and despair. Most of us do not realize our own

strengths and ability to cope. The resiliency and

power of the human spirit are awesome. When I

come into contact with families whose child has4

been murdered and experience the compassion and

caring within the group, my faith in the human spirit

is restored. Survivors of the murder of a child,

spouse, or friend have a great deal to offer one an-

other and often can be of more help than the clergy

or mental health professionals.

I would say that probably the most important ele-

ment that can help us in our grieving is that we treat

ourselves with great kindness and that we do not set

up unfair expectations of ourselves. Length of time,

intensity of sorrow, may be different for each of us.

The different stages of grief follow no rigid order

and we need to give ourselves permission to expe-

rience our anguish in our own time, without dead-

lines or hurtful judgements.

As we live through unimaginable heartbreak and

sadness, it is a time for gentleness; it is a time to for-

give ourselves, our anger and self-centeredness; it

is a time to allow ourselves to weep, as long and as

often as we wish.

It is important not to allow society in general, our

friends, mental health professionals, or the clergy in

particular, to pressure us into getting on with the

business of living and thus shortening or suppress-

ing our grieving. Well-meaning people who expect

the bereaved to become quickly functional, smiling

and cheerful again, may do incredible harm and will

certainly increase the feelings of loneliness, hurt and

alienation already present.

It is important to grieve, to experience the pain, to

weep and to acknowledge the impact of our loss. To

allow ourselves to grieve is healing in the long run.

It enables us to put our lives together again as best

we can under the circumstances.

© 1989 Nancy K. Ruhe

Taken from the POMC web page

The Luton Peace Rally

Grief, The Human Experience

May Killings in Luton (A Poem)

After a crime : Your Rights

Did you know...

The Family Impact Statement

Say ‘No to Gangs’ (TNVA)

The African Caribbean Strategic Part-

nership (ACSP) is led by an interim

Steering Group made up of Lloyd

Denny (Chair), Saundra Glenn (Vice-

Chair) and Lorna Markland (Secretary)

- set up to redress violent crime in

Luton thru strategic partnerships. 5

MURDERING OUR SONSBy Myrna Loy

As a motherWho wanted sons

And ended up not having one,I wonder how mother’s must feelTo lose a son under a car wheel;

Or from a bullet in the back;Or death from some other vicious attackOr like Paul Foster’s children and his wife

When bullets were what took his life?

I mourn for the mothers who have sons today,Who may be caught in an affray;

I am concerned by those who seek revengeBy assaulting enemies who used to be friends.

I fear for those who unbeknown,Someone is planning to take out a loved one..

And for those who started this vendettaWho really ought to have known better.

(Below Delaney Brown, murdered September 2012)

(above, Paul Foster, murdered in May, 2013)

The family will always be looking over their shoulder,

Allowing the family to be left vulnerable, without cover;

Their hearts will be beating louder than usualBecause what has been started is suicidal.

I don’t have sons, but a beautiful grandson;I love watching him grow and having fun -

So my plea is for the revenge to stopAnd not to let another body dropOnto the concrete before its time

Because what was once yoursWill be someone else’s in time.

Life must be cherished,We were born superior

We were not born to kill peopleBut animals inferior

The brain we have, must be used to preserveSo that we end up enjoying a life we deserve.

Steven Lawrence’s mother (Image taken from Daily Mirror website)

6

7

After a crime: Your rights

If you’ve been the victim of a crime, you have the

right to contact the police and be kept informed

about the investigation.

When you report the crime, you must be given a

crime reference number and contact details for

the police officer dealing with your case.

You have the right to ask the police for updates

about the investigation. You’ll need your crime

reference number when you contact the police.

During the police investigation

While the police are investigating the crime,

they’ll give you an update on the case at least

once a month until it’s closed.

The police will let you know within 5 days if some-

one is:

- arrested

- charged

- set free

- released on bail

given a caution, reprimand, final warning, or

penalty notice

The police will tell you if they can’t investigate the

crime within 5 days of you reporting it. They will

also tell you why they’ve dropped their investiga-

tion.

Crown Prosecution Service (CPS)

When the police have finished their investigation,

they’ll pass the information to CPS who then de-

cide if there’s enough evidence to take the case to

court.

If the CPS decide to drop or alter the charge, they

must tell you within 5 days.

Victim Personal Statement

You can tell the police how the crime has affected

you. This is called a ‘victim personal statement’. It

can be used later when the court is deciding on a

punishment.

Privacy

The police might give some information about the

crime to the media to help with the investigation.

They’ll normally ask your permission before they

do this.

DID YOU KNOW.... that if you’ve been the victim of a sex-

ual assault or rape, it’s against the law for anyone to pub-

lish your name, photo or anything else that could identify

you.

Victim support

Victim Support is a charity that can offer you:

emotional support to help you cope with the ef-

fects of crime

practical help, e.g. improving home security or

with filling in forms for insurance and compensa-

tion

advice on dealing with the police

information and support if you have to go to court

as a witness

Visit the Victim Support website or call their

helpline.

Victim Support

www.victimsupport.org.uk

0845 30 30 900

If you’re contacted by a prisoner

If you get unwanted letters, phone calls, texts or

messages from a prisoner, contact the National

Offender Management Service (NOMS) Victim

Helpline.

You can also contact the helpline if you’re worried

about someone being released from prison.

NOMS Victim Helplinevictim.helpline@noms.gsi.gov.uk

0845 7585 112

8

.. that when someone dies as a result ofa violent crime, such as murder ormanslaughter, those closest to the de-ceased have the choice of writing a Fam-ily Impact Statement (FIS) so that thecourt is aware the impact has had on thefamily.

The only thing with this, is that the familycan be asked to prepare an FIS, whenthey are most distressed, incoherent andwhen their memory and senses are dis-torted. Some families may have prob-lems writing, which could add to analready stressful situation, however, theydo have Police Family Liaison Officers andVictim Support to assist with this, or DMKCounselling & Advisory Services who cansupport the Afro-Caribbean co-victims inLuton.

In October 2001, the Government intro-duced the right for victims/survivors im-pacted by a violent crime, to write apersonal statement on how the tragedyaffected the family.

The personal statement/Family IncomeStatement is meant to have a therapeuticquality of allowing the members of thefamily to purge their anger, frustration,resentment. However, it is not meant tobe emotive in content, but an objectivedocument for the court to evaluate themeasure of devastation on the family.

It is important to realise that the FamilyImpact Statement (FIS) has no influenceon the Court, (i.e. the Judge, the jury orsentencing procedures), and some fami-lies may ask: ‘What’s the point?’ but ifthe offender is found guilty, it is meant to

let the offender know the impact of hiscrime. Depending on the surviving fam-ily’s choice, it can read in silence by theJudge, or out loud by a representative ofthe survivor’s choice. The purpose of theFamily Impact Statement is to acknowl-edge the impact of tragic death on thefamily, however, if the accused is found‘not guilty’ it will not be read at all.

A personal statement is usually re-quested when the family is feeling attheir most vulnerable and confused,which isn’t the best time, and that is whythere are Victim Support Services thatcan help families with this. However, it isimportant that situations are interpretedaccurately, so cultural awareness andidentification is vitally important, other-wise, gesticulations, intonations, andchoice of words can be misinterpreted soinstead of having a beneficial outcome,the FIS has the opposite effect. This isone of the reasons why DMK’s In-digenous Counselling & AdvisoryServices was set up. The personal/FIS statement allows the victims tomake, or correct the character of theirdeceased loved one, and help raiseawareness of the gravity of the crime, soit really is important that it is written bysomeone who understands the culture.

9

The Non-Violence Alliance (TNVA) have been

promoting peace, tranquillity and community cohesion in

Luton since 2008. They work closely with victims and sup-

port people who may be affected by violence. They also

help individuals, groups and gangs who may be, or are

sometimes excluded due to their cultural or ideological

beliefs, or through social and language barriers. TNVA

also help mediate between the police to positively engage

with people who are sometimes seen as difficult and sus-

picious of the police for one reason or another.

TNVA have been researching and studying gang affiliated

behaviour for over five years and have now developed

sufficient understanding of youth violent culture and crime,

the services used and the resources needed to deal with

it.

Gang Affiliated Behaviour is about understanding why

people need to be in a gang. There are many different

terms and aspects that make up a gang. Groups of peo-

ple coming together, congregating innocently enough for

many different reasons, could easily be mistaken as a

gang. Friends hanging on a street corner, male family

members and male colleagues just gathering together for

an event or function, such as a stag do, celebration of a

football win, funeral etc, could easily be perceived as a

gang or thugs by persons not understanding group dy-

namics and depending on where they were at the time

and what they were doing. Over time, TNVA has come

to realise that labelling and stereotyping without the true

facts can be detrimental to an incident or crisis that has,

or may occur.

TNVA specialises in tackling violence between rival

gangs, groups or individuals through advocacy, mediating,

counselling, mentoring, conflict management, conflict res-

olution, family intervention and referrals to the appropriate

services, promoting and highlighting awareness of the

consequences of their actions.

By using and studying restorative justice, TNVA can

recognise the surrounding issues that affect our young

people, such as peer pressure, carrying weapons and dis-

respecting or disobeying authority, adults and their own

parents. Restorative Justice deals with the various medi-

ation consultations between victims, the offender, their

families and the police and vice-versa.

TNVA uses an efficient and organised formula to deal with

all issues and concerns surrounding violence. Their aim

is to work and prevent violent incidents or crime and to in-

tervene before they occur. Working in this way together

will lead to a larger success rate and better outcomes for

the victim and better understanding for the perpetrator or

possible offender.

TNVA say “it is time to pick up the fallen, time to pro-

tect the weak and vulnerable”

10

DMK COUNSELLING &

ADVISORY SERVICES LTDAn Out-of-Hours Social Enterprise

Where Discouraged Minds get Kindness

(Indigenous Stress Counselling & Advisory

Service for African-Caribbean Families)

About DMK

Through therapeutic counselling and relevantpersonal and social advice, DMK will re-create asense of wellbeing in African-Caribbean familieswho have been impacted by violent crime orother adverse circumstances.

DMK, is a Social Enterprise that offers out-of-hours Indigenous Counselling to AfricanCaribbean Families living or working in Luton,who have been impacted by violent crime or sud-den death.

DMK supports people experiencing depression,bereavement, anxiety, stress, and relationshipdifficulties, which are the issues that approxi-mately 19,909 African-Caribbean’s in Lutonstruggle with each year.

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW

Luton Survivors of Murdered Victims

A survivor or co-victim, in this context, is anyone(such as a spouse or partner, child, sibling, ex-tended family member, or friend) who has beenimpacted by the death of a loved one by murder

The trauma and grief they experience can causeemotional scars that last a lifetime. They mayalso experience other kinds of loss, such as aloss of income in the family or the loss of a senseof safety and security. African-Caribbean sur-vivors and co-victims of murdered loved ones,are under-represented members of our Lutoncommunity with unique and distinct challenges.They need specialised resources in the aftermathof the murder to lessen its long-term psycholog-ical impact, and to help them cope with theirgrief while restoring control in their lives.

Gun Violence

Gun violence refers to the use of a firearm tothreaten or inflict violence or harm. The effectsof gun violence in Luton and surrounding areas,cross all socioeconomic and geographic bound-aries. Anyone can be a victim of gun violence.

To constitute an essential component of the guncrime reduction strategy, DMK (through Black-bright Newseum Publication) will serve as anOutreach and public awareness programme, toeducate, particularly young people in Luton onthe impact of gun crime, along with strategicpartners, health care providers and communityLeaders who may wish to contribute to the pub-lication.

Domestic and Family Violence

Luton is categorisedas a disadvantagedarea, and as a re-sult, intimate part-ner and familyviolence, includingphysical, sexual,and financial abuse,neglect and mal-treatment of chil-dren, and elderabuse, is likely tooccur every day.

Unlike most other crimes, intimate partner or do-mestic violence is usually not a sudden, isolated,and unexpected incident. It may involve years ofemotional and psychological trauma as well asphysical injuries which may become increasinglymore severe and occur frequently over time. Ex-posure to such violence has a devastating impacton all involved, including children living with andexperiencing it as witnesses and not direct vic-tims. DMK can signpost victims of domesticabuse and also offer therapeutic counselling.

Parents who children who have been murdered,are likely to experience Post-traumatic StressDisorder (PTSD), which is an anxiety disorderthat can develop after exposure to a traumaticor life-threatening event or following the suddeninjury or unexpected death of a loved one.Strong physical and emotional reactions are thebody’s natural response in the immediate after-math of a traumatic event; however, people withPTSD feel stressed and frightened several weeks,months, or even years later, when they are nolonger in danger. If left untreated, individualswith PTSD may develop other problems, such asdepression, relationship problems, physicalsymptoms or illnesses, employment problems,and substance abuse. PTSD is also common inchildren and youth who have been exposed to vi-olence or trauma or have experienced the sud-

11

den death of a loved one. DMK will providecounselling services or signpost family membersexperiencing PTSD.

Grief is an individual’s natural reaction to theloss of someone or something that holds signifi-cant meaning. Grief is not a single emotion, butrather a wide range of intense emotions accom-panied by physical and behavioural reactions.Mourning is the acknowledgment and outwardexpression of grief and may be evidenced by so-cial rituals such as memorial services or funerals.Bereavement refers to the period of grieving,mourning, and life adjustment following thedeath of a loved one. Grieving is a personal ex-perience that takes much time and energy andis often both physically and emotionally draining.When loss is sudden or violent, it may invoketraumatic reactions such as intense fear, numb-ness, helplessness, or horror. Grief and bereave-ment are often more complicated after atraumatic death, such as a murder, and the in-tensity and duration of emotional reactions maybe prolonged. The amount of support a grievingperson receives from his or her family, friends,and community is critical to how successfully heor she will cope with grief. DMK will provideCounselling, Advisory and signpost parents ex-periencing PTSD.

Compassion fatigue, also known as vicarioustrauma or secondary trauma, is a secondarytraumatic stress disorder that is common amongindividuals who work directly with victims oftrauma. Sufferers of compassion fatigue may in-clude victim/survivor advocates, mental healthprofessionals, Metropolitan Police, prosecutors,medical professionals and other people inti-mately involved in the process.

Individuals may exhibit symptoms such as hope-lessness, constant stress and anxiety, a perva-sive negative attitude, and a decrease in thepleasure they find in activities they used toenjoy. These symptoms can have detrimental ef-fects, both professionally and personally, and canresult in decreased productivity, the inability to

focus, and the development of feelings of incom-petency and self-doubt. Vicarious trauma mayalso contribute to high staff turnover in manyhuman service programs.

Learning to recognize compassion fatigue andmanage its symptoms are the first steps towardhealing. DMK can provide Counselling Servicesfor parents experiencing PTSD, clients can beconsulted on a private basis at reduced hourlyrates.

Compensation: Victims of violent crime maysuffer financial stress/loss that is as devastatingas their physical injuries and emotional trauma.Crime victim or survivor’s compensation is a di-rect reimbursement to or on behalf of a crimevictim for a wide variety of crime-related ex-penses, including medical costs, funeral and bur-ial costs, expenses for mental health counselling,and lost wages or loss of support. This would ofcourse be carried out by solicitors with expertisein this field.

Victim notification: Most boroughs give victimsor their families the right to be notified of impor-tant, scheduled criminal proceedings and theoutcomes of those proceedings. These com-monly include the arrest, arraignment, sentenc-ing, release, parole, or escape of a defendant;hearing dates and times; plea negotiations; andthe dismissal of charges. DMK can signpost sur-vivors to the correct resource.

Cultural AwarenessCultural awareness is a willingness to learnabout, communicate with, and effectively inter-act with people and communities across cultures.It comprises an individual’s or community’s ex-periences, values cross-cultural skills, andawareness of and attitudes toward different cul-tural practices. Often, community and interper-sonal conflicts and tensions arise from aninability to understand the actual or perceivedrace, colour, nationality, gender, gender identity,sexual orientation, religion, or disability of an-other person or group. DMK responds to culturalawareness tensions by developing viable, mutualopportunities, understandings, training and tech-nical assistance opportunities, and adopting in-digenous and other proactive measures.

Black- NewseumA Quarterly Outreach Resource

that supports survivors who have lost loved ones to violent crime

Blackbright Newseum is a Supplement to Blackbright News

www.issuu.com/blackbrightnewsemail: blackbrightnews@gmail.com

Founder & Managing Editor: Myrna Loy(working in Partnership with DMK Counselling & Advisory Services Ltd)