bloom check-up-slides111710a-pdf
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The Essential Five-Point Marriage Check Up
Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!The Essential Five-Point Marriage Check Up
© Mass Ignition1
"But blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,whose confidence is in him.
He will be like a tree planted by the waterthat sends out its roots by the stream.It does not fear when heat comes;its leaves are always green.It has no worries in a year of droughtand never fails to bear fruit."and never fails to bear fruit."
The heart is deceitful above all thingsand beyond cure.Who can understand it?
© Mass Ignition2
Blessed is the manwho does not walk in the counsel of the wickedor stand in the way of sinnersor sit in the seat of mockers.
But his delight is in the law of the LORD,and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water,He is like a tree planted by streams of water,which yields its fruit in seasonand whose leaf does not wither.Whatever he does prospers.
© Mass Ignition3
Trusts in the LORDDelights in the law of the LORDOn his law meditates day and night
Leaves are always greenNever fails to bear fruitDoes not wither in the heat
Does not walk in the counsel of the wickedHeart is deceitful above all things
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Question: How do youknow the health of your marriage?
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marriage?
Brian Brian RhenRhen::•• Pastor•Marriage Coach•Married• Kids
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• Kids
The Bloom The Bloom FiveFive--Point Marriage Point Marriage
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FiveFive--Point Marriage Point Marriage Check UpCheck Up
What it takes to BLOOM!What it takes to BLOOM!The 5 key nutrients:The 5 key nutrients:
••Commit to LoveCommit to Love••Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect
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••Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect••Be Gracious & ForgiveBe Gracious & Forgive••Choose the Right WordsChoose the Right Words••Seek a Greater PurposeSeek a Greater Purpose
COMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVECOMMIT To “sacrificial” LOVE
DAILY
This is my command: Love (agape) each other. John 15:17
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YEARLY
SEASONALLY
COMMIT TO “sacrificial” LOVECOMMIT TO “sacrificial” LOVE
-WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT -QUALITY TIME -GIFTS
5 Love Languages
© Mass Ignition10
-GIFTS-ACTS OF SERVICE -PHYSICAL TOUCH
CHECKUP QUESTION #1
How committed are you to love?
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you to love?
Committed to love?wife
complete
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Committed to love?
husband
completeroom to improve
room to improve
CHERISH & RESPECT CHERISH & RESPECT However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,
and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33
with cherish
she he
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with respect
she responds
he responds
she reacts
he reacts
without respect
without cherish
CHECKUP QUESTION #2
What is the degree you feel cherished (wife) and
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cherished (wife) and respected (husband?)
Cherished and Respected?
wife
cherished
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Respected?
husband
respectedroom to improve
room to improve
BE GRACIOUS & FORGIVEBE GRACIOUS & FORGIVEBear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you
may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
Colossians 3:13
Grace leaves space for
Forgivenessreleases
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space for error
“an attitude”
releases
“a process”
CHECKUP QUESTION #3
How capable are you of being gracious and of forgiving?
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gracious and of forgiving?
Gracious and Forgiving?
wife
complete
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husband
completeroom to improve
room to improve
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSEveryone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.
James 1:19
Argument REACTING the other
Destructive offensive, names, sarcasm, violent = scarring
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Disagreement REACTING issue
Harsh defensive, personalities arise = separating
Normal dialogue RESPONDING each other
Kind attentive, encouraging = supporting
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCIRCUMSTANCE
EMOTIONS Hurt, Fear, Want, Joy
THOUGHTS
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Hurt, Fear, Want, Joy
3 sec.
with self REACT“FLESH”
with GodRESPOND “SPIRIT”
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS
REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF”
RESPOND
“GRACE
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REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”
“GRACE
&
TRUTH”
CHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDSCHOOSE THE RIGHT WORDS
REACT: “STAND OFF” REACT: “TELL OFF”
Listen
Clarify Thoughts
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REACT: “GIVE UP” REACT: “HOLD ON ”
Clarify Thoughts
Identify Feelings
Right Tone, Time, Words
Find Compromise
CHECKUP QUESTION #4
Are you using the right words in your communication?
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in your communication?
SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESEEK A GREATER PURPOSEThe LORD will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8
People
seldom hit
what they
do not
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do not
aim at.”
Thoreau
SEEK A GREATER PURPOSESEEK A GREATER PURPOSE
•Marriage Purpose Statement•Marriage Verse•Values (being)
The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me. Psalm 138:8
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•Values (being)•Goals (doing)•Dreams•Prayer
CHECKUP QUESTION #5
How purposeful is your marriage?
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your marriage?
BLOOM!
Where are you?
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Where are you?
FINAL CHECKUP FINAL CHECKUP Rank each on a scale of 1(weak) Rank each on a scale of 1(weak) -- 5(strong)5(strong)
___Commit to Love___Commit to Love___Cherish & Respect___Cherish & Respect
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___Cherish & Respect___Cherish & Respect___Be Gracious & Forgive___Be Gracious & Forgive___Choose the Right Words___Choose the Right Words___Seek a Greater Purpose___Seek a Greater Purpose
Do you want to grow in Do you want to grow in any of these five areas?any of these five areas?
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A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE
Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE
© Mass Ignition30
•• 55--weeksweeks of live webinars of live webinars (1 per week)•• 11--yearyear of group of group teletele--coaching coaching (1 per month)•• LifetimeLifetime access to recorded materials access to recorded materials (including updated materials)•• 55--weeks weeks of follow-up e-course (1 per •• 55--weeks weeks of follow-up e-course (1 per week)
© Mass Ignition31
•• ConvenientConvenient –– take from home
•• RepeatableRepeatable –– review anytime
•• Normally Normally $625 for 5-weeks
•• Only Only $249 $249 for signing up today
•• < $50 < $50 per session per couple
•• 60 day 60 day moneymoney--backback guaranteeguarantee
© Mass Ignition32
•• 15% 15% of proceeds donated
•• Vision Abolition Vision Abolition –– building homes and
providing care for girls in Fiji
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When is Bloom?When is Bloom?
5 Wednesdays
Time: 7:30 PM – 9:00 PST
Starts February 2, 2011Starts February 2, 2011
February 9, February 16
March 2, March 9
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Sign up todaySign up today
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http://bit.ly/blkYPM