bloom module #2 -- cherish and respect
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A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE
Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!Bloom!A 5-WEEK TUNE-UP FOR ANY MARRIAGE
© Mass Ignition1
Doom Cycle
Bloom Cycle
Vs.
Whether you are fully aware of it or not, you are in one cycle or the other
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Cycle CycleVs.
WHY WE DOOM
Finances
“ONENESS BROKEN”
Health
Passions/Hobbies
Family
3
Friends Culture
Kids Career
Your desire will be for your husband and he will rule over you…through painful toil…all the days… Gen. 3
AddictionsLoss
HOW WE BLOOM
Finances
“ONENESS SUSTAINED”
Kids
Health
Passions/Hobbies
Family
4
Friends Culture
KidsCareer
…they will become one flesh Gen. 2:24Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Eph. 5:21
Addictions
Loss
WHY WE MUST BLOOM
5
God patterned them after Himself. Gen. 1:27…so that we can be mirrors that reflect His glory 2Cor. 3:18
HOMEWORK: HOMEWORK:
A COMMITMENT PLAN -to sacrificially love daily, yearly, & seasonally
1. Find your vows and verses. Decide what to do with them.2. Clarify your top 2 love languages and list 5 ways it can be met 3. Determine what are the top 3 threats to your oneness
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3. Determine what are the top 3 threats to your oneness 4. List the top 5 reasons you married the other5. Discuss how you will handle your future anniversaries
Bonus: Within the next 6 weeks, write a note of recommitment
What it takes to BLOOM!What it takes to BLOOM!The 5 key nutrients:The 5 key nutrients:
••Commit to LoveCommit to Love
••Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect
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••Cherish & RespectCherish & Respect••Be Gracious & ForgiveBe Gracious & Forgive••Choose the Right WordsChoose the Right Words••Seek a Greater PurposeSeek a Greater Purpose
DOOMING Myth #2: Most spouses know the other’s core need
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BLOOMING Truth #2: Most spouses’ core needs are unidentified and go unmet
CORE CORE NEEDNEED OF WOMAN/MANOF WOMAN/MAN
MANWOMAN
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MAN
RESPECTEDtask-oriented
fixers“The Hero”
WOMAN
CHERISHEDrelationship-oriented
nurturers“The One”
CORE CORE PROBLEMPROBLEM OF WOMAN/MANOF WOMAN/MAN
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“Our ability to cherish and respect one another is hampered by the sin in us and the sin we see in others.”
CORE CORE SOLUTIONSOLUTION FOR WOMAN/MANFOR WOMAN/MAN
Ephesians 521 Submit to one another out of reverence for
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21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ…
33 However, each one of you (husbands) also must love (cherish) his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
CHERISH & RESPECT CHERISH & RESPECT However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself,
and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:33
with cherish
she he “DOOM”“DOOM”
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with respect
she responds
he responds
she reacts
he reacts
without respect
without cherish
“BLOOM”“BLOOM”
C&RC&R SIMPLE ACTION SIMPLE ACTION
Commit to love the other in their love language and they will feel
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they will feel cherished or respected.
LL=CR
C&R SIMPLE COMMUNICATION C&R SIMPLE COMMUNICATION
Husbands to Wives:“Lately, I have felt disrespected by you, what have I been doing to not make you feel cherished.”
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Wives to Husbands:“Lately, I have not felt cherished by you,what have I been doing to not make you feel respected.”
HOMEWORK: HOMEWORK: CHERISH & RESPECT
1. Husband asks the following:What have I done or failed to do to make you feel uncherished?What are some things I can do to make you feel cherished?
2. Wives ask the following:
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2. Wives ask the following:What have I done or failed to do to make you feel disrespected?What are some things I can do to make you feel respected?
3. Together reflect back on your love language lists to see how the cherish and respect needs relate.
4. Pray daily asking God’s help to cherish/respect your spouse.