book excerpt: from clueless to class act, manners for the modern man and manners for the modern...

8/2/2019 Book Excerpt: From Clueless to Class Act, Manners for the Modern Man and Manners for the Modern Woman

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E T I Q U E T T E

for the

Busy ProessionalThose that are good manners at the court

are as ridiculous in the country as the behavior

of the country is most mockable at the court.

William Shakespeare

14


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340 the etiquette book

There was a day when, upon entering ones chosen eld, barring some egregious occurrence,

one would retire, many years later, from the same eld (often from the same company where

one had worked for decades). Nowadays, people tend to move through several different

careers during their lifetime. What does that mean for todays busy professional? It means

you do not have the luxury of time to develop your professional reputation. You will beforming and re-forming your image regularly. Whats more, new colleagues and clients will

be judging you immediately. Fortunately, the vast majority of these judgments will be based

upon observable behaviorsof which you have complete control.

Take a moment to consider someone you truly respect in your chosen eld. Why did

this person come to mind? What has this individual accomplished? How did this individual

achieve desired goals? As you ponder these lofty questions, consider this individuals daily

behavior and the image he or she projects. How does this person speak with colleagues and

clients? How does he or she interact with subordinates and support staff?

Manners NoteA jacket is an essential element in almost all professional wardrobes.

It is a symbol of power and authority. Studies have found when men

remove their suit jackets, they lose a bit of their power. However, when

women remove their suit jackets, they lose most of their power. There

are other gender dierences with jackets. Men may and do unbutton

their suit buttons (at least the bottom one!) when seated. Womens

suits are not designed the same way and therefore women should

keep their suit jackets buttoned.

Whether you wear a suit, khakis, a uniform, or coveralls, you

should arrive at work neat and clean. Your hair should be washed,

combed, and away from your face. Your hands should be clean and

your shoes polished. And, of course, you should be ready to work.

(For more information on achieving a respectable appearance, refer

to Chapter 10.)


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etiquette for the busy professional 341

Although it is not so difcult to identify a polished professional, it is not always easy to

articulate what exactly makes such a person give this impression. This is due in part to the

fact that the characteristics that make someone seem highly capable and respectable in one

eld may not apply in another. For example, in the two completely unrelated elds of surgery

and car repair, great manual dexterity is essential. Yet in one profession, dirty ngernails arecompletely unacceptable and in the other they are a badge of honor. The image projected by

a good surgeon is different from that projected by a good mechanic. It will be up to you to

absorb the advice in this chapter and then decide how to apply the information to your par-

ticular position and industry.

P R O F E S S I O N A L I M A G E

Twenty years ago, it was thought you had ve minutes or more to make a good rst impres-sion. Today, the belief is that you have only ve seconds. People will be making snap deci-

sions about you based upon your physical appearance, your body language, your level of eye

contact, your tone of voice, and your handshake (for information on these last three factors,

see pages 278, 279, and 285 respectively). Note that once people have formed an opinion,

they are loath to change it. As stated earlier in this book, you never get a second chance to

make a good rst impression.

Attire and AppearanceWhen dressing for your job, envision what you think someone else in your position would

and should wear. Consider style, tone, what other colleagues wear, and how those one or two

levels above you dress. As it is always better to be overdressed than underdressed, you should

not be the most casually outtted person in your ofce. Following are some general guide-

lines for different levels of attire in ofce environments.

for men

Good Casual: relaxed khakis, golf shirt in pristine condition, belt, socks, loafers

Better Casual: pressed khakis, long-sleeve button-down shirt, belt, socks, loafers

Best Casual: dress pants, coordinating blazer, long-sleeve button-down shirt with or

without tie, belt, socks, polished loafers

Formal: Classic suit in conservative color, fashionable tie, belt, socks, laced-up

dress shoes


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for women

Good Casual: khakis or dress trousers, pressed shirt, belt, hosiery such as trouser

socks or stockings, loafers or pumps

Better Casual: dress pants, twin set that includes a long-sleeve sweater, funky jewelry,

hosiery, loafers or pumpsBest Casual: skirted suit in fashionable color or coordinating separates with slacks and

matching suit jacket, accessories, hosiery, pumps

Formal: Classic suit in conservative color, coordinating jewelry, hosiery, pumps

Verbal Communication

The way you speak with others varies based upon

your profession, your position, and where you are

at the moment. Even within the same company, adifferent language may be used in different areas:

For instance, what might be standard lingo on the

loading docks would not necessarily be appro-

priate in the boardroomand vice versa. It is

important to remember that what you sayand

how you say itreects upon you. There are

times (though they may be few and far between)

when colorful language is appropriate, but in gen-

eral, your speech should be profanity-free. When

speaking within your work group and others in

the know, it is ne to use abbreviations and acronyms, but keep in mind that not everyone

speaks that language. Watch for signs that others may not be following you. Also, beware of

using buzzwords: Nowadays they are often construed as a signal that the speaker may not be

all that knowledgeable on the subject about which he or she is speaking and is merely using

the snazzy lingo to cover up that fact. Additionally, when speaking with others, you should

consider your tone. Be aware of how others react to you and how they interact with you.

Listening is just as important as speaking. Take the time to actively listen to others.

When you are actively listening, you are involved in the exchangeand the person with

whom you are having the conversation knows it. Some of the signals you should give others

to communicate that you are paying close attention to what they are saying include nodding

your head and interjecting um hum from time to time. Asking questions and taking notes

also demonstrates that you are interested in what the other person has to say.

There is an apocryphal story about an

executive who was being considered for

a promotion. He was invited to lunch

with the CEO. When the food came, the

executive salted his food before tasting

it. The CEO denied him the promotion on

the basis that the executive took action

without rst gathering information to

evaluate the situation.

Saltin the wound


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An important aspect of speaking with

someone in person actually involves nonverbal

cuesin other words, body language. While

body language was previously discussed in

Chapter 11, because it has such a huge impact oninterpersonal communications, it bears repeating

here. Make sure that your body language does

not betray something you would rather not say.

When speaking with others, it is important to

face them and maintain good eye contact. When

sitting, be sure to sit up straight; also, avoid

crossing your legs at the knee, as this action will

throw your body off center. When standing, youshould be about an arms length away from the

other individual. Take care not to cross your

arms, as doing so creates a barrier between you

and others. In fact, turning your body away,

avoiding eye contact, and increasing the amount

of space between you and others are all indica-

tions that you are not interested in speaking with

others. Your hands should be where the people

you are with can see them. Placing your hands in

your pockets, behind your back, or under the

table suggests that you are hiding something.

While you may feel that touching someone gently

on the arm may help to illustrate your point, it is

best to refrain from taking this action as it can

lead to problems. You risk making someone

uncomfortable, as well as having your gesture misinterpreted.

Written Correspondence

Your written communications always reect upon you. Be sure both your electronic and

paper documents do not include any errors. The more important the document, the more

important it is to have someone else proofread it for you. Your written work should be free of

misspellings, grammar goofs, typos, and factual errors. Even your e-mails, which are more

You may be unfortunate enough to

encounter a passive-aggressive person-

ality in the workplace. This may involve

an individual acting pleasantly toward

you, agreeing to perform certain tasks or

meet specic deadlines, but then failing

to live up to the commitments. In such a

scenario, when you ask what happened,

the individual gives a seemly reasonable

excuse, such as he or she misheard what

you said or was waiting for you to pro-

vide information. Of course, if this hap-

pens repeatedly, you will see a pattern. In

a situation like this, there are a couple of

measures you might opt to take. First of

all, have your boss present when tasks

are agreed upon, so your superior wit-

nesses what is happening. And whenever

possible, follow up such meetings with an

e-mail outlining work assignments and

due dates so that any claims of misunder-

standing or a lack of information will be

truly ineective. Do not waste your time

and energy by getting upset in front of

the other person, as it may only reinforce

and encourage the bad behavior.

dealing with

Difcultpersonalities


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casual communications, should be given attention with regard to these issues (see the next

section for additional details regarding projecting a professional image via electronic com-

munication). In addition to typos, some of the most common mistakes include failing to sign

your name, lack of capital letters, and assuming others will automatically understand your

tone. When composing a business letter, take the time to make sure you have the correctspelling for the addressees name and organization, as well as that persons correct title. (For

additional information on written correspondence, see pages 312315.)

Electronic Persona

Your electronic image is important. You will nd that in many instances, the rst impression

someone receives of you comes not from a face-to-face interaction, but from an online prole

of you or from an e-mail you have sent. In fact, it is common today for people to have long

business relationships that consist entirely of e-mail interactions along with the occasionaltelephone call. Consequently, you must pay close attention to how you are presenting your-

self in and via cyberspace.

Professionally, your e-mail should reect positively on you and your company. Toward

that end, avoid decorative and colorful backgrounds, use an easy-to-read font, and include

your contact information. With regard to the latter point, make life easier for yourself by

utilizing the automatic signature feature in your e-mail system. Your name, company, street

address, e-mail address, phone number, and, if you use one, your fax number should all be

included. When you work for a large organization, you may want to include your job title or

the department in which you work, as well. Inspirational quotes should be saved for your

personal e-mail account. And, of course, your e-mail correspondence with others should

be polite, clear, grammatically correct, appropriate in content, and free of spelling errors

and typos.

Remember all e-mails sent via your workplace e-mail account belong to the company.

The company may monitor and save any of your e-mails with or without your consent.

Endeavor to make sure your e-mails are appropriate.

Even your personal web presence should be audited for professional reasons. One of the

rst actions taken to gather information about someone is to search the web. Your prole on

a social networking site may be the rst thing a person seeking information nds. While

your postsand the comments they inspiremay be a hoot to you and your friends, a

potential employer (or your current employer, for that matter) may not nd them nearly as

humorous. To help combat this issue, take the time to install and activate the privacy walls

for social networking sites.


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Professional networking sites are a wonderful way to keep in contact with those you

meet along the way in your career. Since they tend to be listed rst in searches on names,

take the time to present yourself well. Complete the necessary information in taking care to

check for accuracy in spelling and grammar. Before your prole is live, consider what level of

privacy you prefer. You will need to decide how much of your information you want acces-sible to your contacts and how much to those surng to your page. Once your page is live,

include a recurring reminder in your calendar to check and update your prole so that it

remains current.

N E T W O R K S A N D M E N T O R S

As you establish yourself in your career, in addition to doing your job to the best of your

ability, you should be building a network of professional contacts. (In fact, you should becreating similar networks in your personal life, as well as with regard to any philanthropic

activities in which you may be involved.) To help develop your business network, it is a

good idea to join at least one professional organization. Most likely, you will have many

choices, so make a list of possible groups that sound promising and then visit them as a

guest until you decide which one you would like to join. You may end up being a member

for a few years or for your entire career. Note that if you really want to get something out of

an organization, it is not enough just to pay your membership dues. To reap any true

enjoyment or benet from a group, you need to attend events regularly and become

involved. If you have joined a very large organization, you may be overwhelmed by the

possibilities. In such a case, make the process more manageable by selecting a single com-

mittee on which to serve.

As you become more comfortable within your networking circles, you should choose

some mentors. When people think of mentors, they often feel that they need to nd one

accomplished individual to guide them through their entire careera professional fairy

godmother, so to speak. The idea that one person can provide you with all of the perspective

and feedback you need is naive. Consider having a few mentors. The makeup of this group

may change over the years as you progress in your career. Within the company for which you

work, you should ideally have two mentors (of course having two may not be feasible in a

very small company), neither of whom should be your boss. (A good mentor will provide you

with advice on how to work best with your boss and, therefore, cannot possibly be your boss.)

One mentor should be an individual within your group or division, but a level or two up

from your bosss position. Clearly, you do not want to appear as though you are going behind


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your bosss back. Instead, enlist your boss in selecting this mentor. Ask who he or she

respects and considers to be a good example. The second mentor should be someone within

your company, but outside your particular department or division. This mentor should be

able to provide you with additional perspective on your position and career while still under-

standing the organizations corporate culture.In addition to your internal mentors, you should actively seek one professional mentor

who does not work at your company. While considering this, do not be afraid to approach a

former professor or perhaps someone who works for another organization in your eld or

from a professional organization.

Asking someone to be your mentor is not as daunting as it may seem. Start with a

request for an interaction such as coffee, lunch, or an informational interview. After taking

the time to conrm that this is someone with whom you wish to have ongoing discussions,

ask during a face-to-face or telephone conversation if this person would be willing to be yourmentor. It is always a good idea to be diplomatica little attery accompanied by a face-

saving out is always helpful: Ms. Austen, with your meteoric rise to become the most inu-

ential author on the planet, I was hoping you would be willing to be one of my mentors. This

would mean one or two personal interactions a year along with an occasional telephone call

or e-mail with specic questions. I know how busy you are; do you think, perhaps, you

would have the time? If not, I do understand.

Occasionally, if you are exceedingly fortunate, a mentor will appear and take you under

his or her wing without you ever having to ask. It is wonderful when these relationships

occur organically; however, you should not sit back with the high hopes that this will happen.

If mentors do not appear to you, actively seek them yourself.

It is your responsibility to maintain your relationships with your mentors. You may

decide to send out e-mail missives just to say hi. Some you may meet regularly for lunch or

drinks. Others you might call upon only when you are pondering a difcult decision

or dealing with a challenging situation. And anytime one of your mentors assists youeven

if it is just to listenyou must make sure to thank him or her appropriately. At the very

least, this involves a verbal thank you at the time of the interaction and a handwritten thank-

you note.


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B O U N D A R I E S

It is important that your personal life not seep into your professional life. This does not mean

you should be an automaton, having minimal interactions at the ofce. Rather, you should

monitor yourself carefully, making conscious, deliberate decisions as to what information

is appropriate to share at the ofce and what should be saved for friends outside your pro-

fessional world. Certainly you will socialize with colleagues, from attending lunches to

occasional after-work gatherings. However, during all these semisocial interactions, you will

need to remain professional. Your colleagues will remember what you said and did outside

the workplace when you are back in the ofce.

Some workplaces are more social than others. If your coworkers are frequently extending

invitations, carefully contemplate how you would like to respond. There is no need to attend

every outing, yet you should go to events occasionally to foster ties: I am so glad you keep

inviting me out for Thursday drinks. I know I usually cant go, but it makes me feel good

that you keep asking! Ive penciled in next week, and I look forward to relaxing and catching

up then.

J O B H U N T I N G

Whether you are fresh out of school or have been working in the business world for a while,

the basics of job seeking are the same. To begin, have a general concept of what you are inter-ested in doing and what you do not want to do. This does not mean you need to know exactly

what position you want. And it does not mean that you should not be open to jobs you may

not have ever thought about before. Read job descriptions. Arrange for informational inter-

views (see pages 318320 for details regarding such meetings).

Before going to an actual job interview, do research on the company and the position.

This serves a number of purposes: It helps you determine whether the organization and job

will be a good t for you, it prevents you from asking questions that the interviewer knows

you could have answered yourself had you done a minimal amount of research, and it makesyou look prepared when talking to the interviewer. It also helps you to ask the interviewer

relevant questions. And you should ask questions, as doing so demonstrates a genuine

interest in the job.

When you are looking for a job, networking is as essential as breathing. If you are

seeking employment and are not currently employed, you should tell everyone you know

that you are job hunting. But do not appear needy or desperate. Be upbeat and breezy. Do


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not ask people if they have any job open-

ings; instead, ask if they know of anyone

who may have an opening. Having a posi-

tive attitude is critical.

If you are already employed and you donot want your current employer to know

you are looking, you will need to use some

discretion and exercise caution in your job-

seeking endeavors. This includes any job-

seeking information you may post on your

networking sites. Your company or your

superior may be monitoring your postings.

In this type of situation, a professional recruiter can be a skilled ally, putting forth yourrsum and experience without your name until interest has been expressed.

You should always have your rsum updated and ready to go. Even if you are not

looking for a job, you never know when opportunity will come knocking. Spellchecking and

proofreading your rsum are not optional. It is critical that this document be free of errors.

If a recruiter or potential employer gets in touch, you should be able to e-mail him or her

your rsum while speaking on the phone. (For information on composing rsums and

cover letters, see pages 316318.)

Note that many of the job application vehicles are seemingly informal methods of

communication. E-mails, websites, and online listings tend to lend themselves to infor-

mality. Do not be fooled. Use Dear, Mr., Ms., and Sincerely until you see how the

people at the company communicate with you. Once you know the organizations level of

formality, you may mirror it. The outgoing message for the phone number listed on your

rsum should have a positive, professional tone so that when recruiters call, they remain

interested in speaking with you. Your personal cell phone may be the best number to give

out during your job search, as this should enable you to receive, check, and return mes-

sages while out and about. While job hunting, you will need to be especially observant

with regard to your surroundings as you take and place job-related telephone calls. Check

to see whether an incoming call is related to an opening. If so, only answer if you are able

to speak freely and the ambient noise from your location will not be distracting to the

person on the other end. When you make calls, be sure you are in a quiet location where

curious ears will not be privy to your conversation. (For additional information on proper

cell phone behavior, see pages 299300.)


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In your closet, you must have a full interview outt that ts you properly. This

includes the suit, shirt, hosiery, shoes, watch, portfolio, tie (for men), and pen. That way,

when you get a call for an interview, you are prepared to meet that very afternoon. Even if

you will never wear a suit again to this job, you need to put your best foot forward for the

interview. Keep in mind that employers hire people they like. Be likable. Smile nicely atpeople you meet at networking events, graduation parties, and job fairs. You never know

who may be connected to a position for which you are applying or who might be inspired

to assist you in your quest. When going to an ofce for an interview, smile at the recep-

tionist, assistant, interviewer, and anyone else you meet along the way; that person you

rode up in the elevator with just might end up being the one who decides whether you get

the job or not.

Last but not least, be thankful. Anyone who offers a lead, refers you to a job, takes you

to lunch, interviews you, or helps during the interview process should receive a hand-written a thank-you note from you. Good manners will take you far. (For details on com-

posing a well-written thank-you note, see pages 328329.)

C O M M O N S P A C E C O U R T E S Y

Within a workplace, common areasparticularly their state of tidiness and cleanliness

can be the cause of great strife. The lobby, break room, kitchen, copy room, mail area, and

bathrooms are all shared spaces. Issues that arise range from mildly irritating to ire-pro-

voking, and will often nd their way onto staff meeting agendas.

The best guideline to follow is to leave the space in a condition that is a bit better than

that in which you found it. Human nature being what it is, if individuals nd the break room

table to be sullied with a few crumbs, they tend to think nothing of leaving the existing

crumbs and adding some of their own, as well as a few rings from coffee mugs. However, the

opposite also holds true: If the room is neat and clean upon arrival, the tendency is to make

sure it is neat and clean upon departure. While you need not become the ofce maid, it is

important that you do your part. And you certainly do not want to gain the reputation of

being the cause of a less-than-professional-looking environment.

When cleanliness is an issue, it should be addressed directly. There are many suitable

solutions for these types of situations, from assigning cleanup duties to employees to adding

custodial staff. Maintaining a clean work space heightens everyones comfort level.


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The Kitchen

There are certain common-sense actions that one should perform in the kitchen out of con-

sideration for others. If you poured the last cup of coffee out of the coffeepot, it is incumbent

upon you to make more. When storing food in the refrigerator, try to arrange your items

neatly and in a space-efcient manner, and make sure not to leave anything in there so longthat it spoils. Refrigerator space tends to be at a premium in most ofces, so there is no

reason to take up room with food that is not going to be eaten. Plus, you should not subject

your coworkers to the extremely unpleasant smell of food that has gone bad. It should go

without saying, but do not take food that does not belong to you. If there is any question as to

whether a particular item is communal property, do not partake of it.

Restrooms

At the ofce, there are some basic bathroom behaviors to keep in mind. Above all, respect apersons right to privacy. Conversations between stalls are ne when an emergency arises,

such as the realization that there is no toilet tissue, or if you have an established friendship

with the other person and you both feel comfortable chatting. Otherwise, when the door

closes, a person should be left undisturbed. When you emerge from a stall, hand washing is

nonnegotiable.

Restrooms may also be used for grooming. If you brush your teeth, clip your nails,

shave, or apply makeup in the bathroom, good for you. Better in this room than at your desk!

But do be sure not to create an awkward situation. Choose times when there tend to be fewerpeople using the facilities. And leave the area neater than when you arrived. Any spittle, nail

clippings, or whiskers must be removed from the sink basin. The area around the sink should

be dried, with no evidence of your activities left behind.

Unless your workplace has restrooms that offer privacy and solitude, nursing mothers

should be allotted another private area to express milk. If you are unsure what is best at your

ofce, talk with your manager or human resources department about possible places to use

when you return from maternity leave.

O F F I C E A N D

C U B I C L E C O U R T E S Y

Your professional image extends past your wardrobe to your work space. Imagine for a

moment that your bosss boss or a potential client entered your ofce or cubicle while you

were out. Would this individual be impressed or disappointed by what he or she saw? Would


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this individual think you worthy of being entrusted with the responsibilities of your job and

capable of fullling those responsibilities successfully, or would the sight of your work space

ll him or her with doubt? Whether you like it or not, the space in which you work reects

directly upon you. Look over your work area with a critical eye. What does it say about you?

If it is not conveying the professional image you wish to project, you should make the neces-sary adjustments.

Note that your work space should be neat and clean. There should be dened places for

incoming and outgoing papers, les, and ofce supplies. You should have writing imple-

ments and paper near the phone so you are prepared to make notes while talking. Any papers

on top of your desk should be limited to ones pertaining to current projects that you need to

refer to regularly; and these should be arranged in neat, orderly stacks. Your work area

should also be free of stains and noticeable dust. Occasionally, you should take everything

off your desk to give it a good cleaning. And do not forget to look high and low in your ofceor cubicle for hard-to-reach spots that need to be wiped down. Note that neat employees are

seen as more professional and more competent than their slovenly colleagues.

While you are looking over your work space, in addition to paying attention to the level

of neatness and cleanliness, review any personal objects you have on display. Like many

things in life, everything in moderation is best. Assuming that their presence is not contrary

to company culture, a few pictures of your friends and family are ne. Hundreds, however,

are not. You can also consider adding a few other professional accessories to your space such

as an elegant desk clock or medallion paperweight. Look around the ofce and assess what

will work for your corporate culture. In some workplaces, even what you have on your desk is

guided by unwritten rules. Something too swanky may cause your colleagues to wonder

about your salary in comparison to theirs. Use your best judgment.

If you are in an ofce with a door, it is wise to use the door effectively. That said, you

will need to make sure that you are using your door in accordance with the culture of the

company. For instance, closing your door can be helpful when you are in the middle of a

project and need some uninterrupted time. However, if the organization you work for frowns

upon this type of behavior, then you should nd an alternate way of enhancing your concen-

tration and refrain from shutting your door. You will need to use your best judgment to rec-

oncile your individual needs and company customs, but in general, it is best not to go against

company culture.

There are a number of instances when your door should be shut as a courtesy to others.

When you are meeting with others, it is a good idea to shut your door so as to limit the noise

and disruption to those nearby; also, it may be necessary to close your door to maintain


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condentiality. For the same reasons, your door should be shut when you are using your

speakerphone. When you may not be interrupted, if you do not have an assistant stationed

outside your door, it may be worthwhile to place a small sign on your door indicating what

time you will be available. Or, if you have your door shut but welcome visitors, a small sign

directing others to knock can be helpful. If you are responsible for supervising others, it isimportant that your staff know the signals indicating when they may speak with you and

when they need to wait.

Selective Listening

In ofce environments, you must learn how to perform selective listening. Just because you

are able to hear someones conversation does not mean you have an invitation to participate

in it. Plus, in order to accomplish your own work in a productive fashion, you will need to

develop the ability to tune out the sound of other people talking. Thus, selective listening inthe ofce is essential to professional survival.

On occasion, there will be a professional reason for you to interject into a conversation

for instance, if you hear a colleague giving incorrect information to another employee or

client. In a situation such as this, it is best to resolve the issue quickly while allowing your

colleague to save face. If you hear something over a cubicle wall, you will need to physically

move somewhere that you can catch your coworkers eye. (In most organizations, prairie

doggingpeeking over the cubicle wall to have a conversationis not acceptable.) If your

colleague is on the phone, motion him or her to put the call on hold. If your coworker is

meeting with someone in person, apologize for interrupting, but indicate you need to speak

briey and privately with your colleague. When you have your coworkers attention, share

the correct information and any supporting documentation you may have. Then allow your

colleague to make the correction with the person to whom he or she was talking. To correct

the colleague in front of another individual could undermine the colleagues credibility and

embarrass him or her. In addition, there is always the chance that there are extenuating cir-

cumstances or that there has been a change of which you are unaware.

Getting Out There

While being known as the ofce gossip is not good for your career, hiding in your ofce is

also a mistake. It is important that you are aware of what is happening in your ofce. While

you should listen to ofce gossip, you should avoid initiating or repeating it. And at all costs,

avoid taking on the starring role in the ofce soap opera. Nothing spreads faster than gossip.

Whats more, these tales have a tendency to linger. Protect your reputation.


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Part of not hiding in your ofce means knowing who the important players are

and making sure they know you. Make plans with colleagues for lunch, and volunteer for

projects that involve committee members from different departments. Achieving success

within an organization involves more than simply doing your job well. Employers and col-

leagues are human beingsand as such they are inuenced by how much they like you. It isimportant to be personable without crossing boundaries.

Sounds and Smells

In ofces, sounds and smells do tend to carry. Minimize the noise pollution you create. If

you are talking to someone in a cubicle or corridor, keep your voice relatively low so as not to

distract others from their work. The ringer on your phone should be set on low and your

system should be programmed so that calls are transferred to voice mail after the fourth

ring. If it is acceptable in your workplace to listen to music, do so with earbuds or head-phones. Singing, whistling, and humming are not permitted. Smells, too, no matter how

pleasing they seem to you, should be curtailed. The potent aroma of your lunch may seem

highly appetizing to you while turning someone elses stomach. Do what you can to keep

food odors conned to the kitchen or break room.

When someone is disturbing you, you will need to diplomatically take action. If two

colleagues are chatting about their weekends while standing in front of your desk, you should

politely ask them to transition their conversation to one of their work spaces. Or, you can

draw the attention back to work: Oh, excuse me, I hate to interrupt your conversation, but

was there something you needed from me? This should be enough to clue them in to the

fact that they are disturbing you.

The issue of smell pertains to an individuals body as well. Though covered in Chapter

10, this issue is of such importance in the workplace that it bears repeating here. In most pro-

fessional environments, human beings are not expected to smell like human beings. Only

those who work in physical elds, where exertion and sweat are part of the job, are allowed to

have body odor. In all other areas, your scent should be as neutral as possible. This means

that not only should you not be emitting any body odor, but you should not be doused with

perfume or cologne. If a colleague can tell from your scent that you are behind him or her

without turning around, or if a coworker can tell you were on the elevator even though you

stepped off three oors ago, or if someone tells a story that includes and while I was there, I

smelled someone who smelled just like you! then chances are you are too fragrant. Someone

should only be able to smell you if you are close enough to shake hands, and even then, there

should just be a hint of a clean, fresh scent.


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D I P L O M A C Y , T A C T ,

A N D P O L I T I C S

Navigating the political scene at work is never easy. Despite the differences that exist among

industries, there are certain behavioral traits that are shared by successful professionals.

When facing a difcult decision, take the high road. Not only is there less trafc, but you

will not have to regret something you said or did. While a colleague might make you want to

scream, dont. Organizations have long memories for bad behavior and outbursts. If you are

in the middle of a meeting or phone call and feel your blood beginning to boil, it is perfectly

acceptable to call for a short break or to ask to call the individual back in twenty minutes.

Take some time to cool off and reassess the situation. Calmly consider the other persons

point of view and work to nd a solution you can live with going forward. Make sure you

have fully regained your composure before continuing the conversation.Regardless of your feelings about your boss, it is important to make your boss look good

to other members of the team and clients. (If you nd your boss truly deplorable, you should

probably look for a new job.) It is also your responsibility to make sure your boss is informed

of important matters. You will need to use your best judgment in determining which issues

are trivial and routine and which ones merit reporting. Most importantly, your boss should

never be caught by surprise. No shareholder, client, or news reporter should reach your boss

before you do.

C O N F I D E N T I A L I T Y

Private conversations should not be held in public places. You will need to take care when

speaking at restaurants, in hallways, and even on elevators. You should assume that someone

within earshot is eavesdropping. And you should assume that anyone nearby may have a

connection to the issue, people, or institutions you are discussing. If you need to have a con-

dential conversation with someone, nd an ofce with a door you can close, a conference

room, or a secluded booth in an empty restaurant (and keep your voice low).

In addition to conversations, you will need to take care with documents. When you

leave your work space, lock awayor if that is not possible, hide from viewany conden-

tial information. It can be astonishing what some people will leave in plain sight and readily

available to anyone who happens to walk by their desk. Similarly, do not leave anything up

on your computer screen that should not be seen by others. Even if the les are closed, if you

have condential documents on your computer and you leave your desk, you should make


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sure that no one can access those les without using your password. You will need to remain

vigilant with documents and computer les when you are perusing them outside the ofce as

well. Be aware of those around you, and make sure that no one is reading over your shoulder.

Take special care on trains and planes, as passengers seated next to you and behind you may

have a clear view of your computer or papers.

E X P E C T A T I O N S A N D T I M I N G

You may nd you have a constant inux of priority projects to occupy your time. Your

abilityor inabilityto meet deadlines will have a large impact on your reputation. When

you work for one person, you may have the luxury of triaging your work and periodically

speaking with your boss to conrm that your priorities are accurate. But more likely than

not, you will have multiple priorities with multiple clients or parties, all of whom rightlybelieve their priority is the most important. To accommodate everyone accordingly, you will

need to budget your time carefully. Accomplished professionals have a knack for knowing

how long it will realistically take to complete any given task. They then add on a time buffer

to allow for unexpected delays. If all goes well, they are able to deliver in a shorter time frame

and exceed client expectations. If there is a glitch, they are still able to deliver on time to

please the client. If you are juggling multiple priorities, it may behoove you to check with

your internal superiors occasionally to conrm that your order of priorities is in keeping with

their priorities.

To appease an individual who wants something completed in a timeframe that is not

going to be doable, you may want to try a compromise in which you give some information

or material to the individual closer to the date that he or she wants, while delivering the nal

material at a later date. For instance: I will be able to provide you with a full report in two

weeks. In addition, if you would like, I can provide you with some preliminary numbers by

this Friday.

This same tact will work when it becomes apparent you will not be able to meet an

agreed-upon deadline. As soon as the realization occurs, you will need to reassess the time-

frame. Revise the dates and offer whatever consolations you are able. Due to the fact that

the shipment was delayed in port, we are not going to be able to complete the project by

months end. The new completion date is in two months time. In the meantime, we can

begin to choose the color scheme so that we can save time once the shipment arrives. Do not

focus on excuses. Share facts and focus on achievable objectives.


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M A N A G I N G M E E T I N G S

Many individuals spend a substantial amount of time in meetings. In fact, some profes-

sionals often lament they spend most of their time in meetings, leaving them with almost no

time to spend at their desk to complete assignments and projects. Well-run meetings allow

for the efcient exchange of information and ideas, enabling participants to return to their

other duties as quickly as possible.

Hosting a Meeting

When you are in charge of a meeting, it important to have a clear understanding as to why

the meeting is necessary. If you do not, then perhaps you should not be holding a meeting at

all. Once you have established that a meeting is needed, you will have to decide who should

attend (if this aspect is up to you) and how you want the meeting to progress. With regard to

the former, take the time to think about who really needs to be there, and then invite only

those people. You do not want to waste others time. With regard to making the meeting run

as smoothly as possible, agendas are essential. A meeting without a preprinted agenda is a

meeting to nowhere. If the meeting is one at which other individuals will be presenting issues

or matters for review, then those individuals should submit the pertinent information in

advance to be included on the agenda. You will need to inform them of this responsibility, as

well as give them a deadline for their submissions so that there is adequate time for the docu-

ment to be prepared. It is a good idea to distribute the agenda to participants the day beforethe meeting so that they have a chance to look it over in advance and come to the meeting

prepared. Once you have an agenda, you must stick to it if you want to conduct an efcient

meeting.

The other aspect that contributes to meeting efciency is to establish a set period of

time for the discussionin other words, in addition to scheduling a start time, you should

set an end time. Having a specic amount of time should help to keep the focus on the issues

at hand and will allow those involved to plan the rest of their day better. When running a

meeting, depending on what is involved, you should arrive ve to ten minutes ahead of timeto check that the room is ready and properly set up for you.

Once the meeting is underway, if people start to go off on tangents that are not relevant

to the subject of the meeting, or that should be discussed in a different arena, you will need

to bring them back on point. One way to do so is to acknowledge their point and table it for a

future meeting. Great point, that is something we will need to address. In keeping with our

timeframe I will add the issue to next weeks meeting.


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In some instances, meetings occur during mealtimes.

Meetings held at 7:00 a.m., anytime between 11:30 a.m. and

1:30 p.m., and at 6:00 p.m. are all liable to be considered meal-

time meetings. If you are responsible for hosting a meeting at

one of these times, it is crucial you are clear with the attendees.Food is a biological necessity, and hungry participants will

spend more time thinking about their stomachs than the issue

at hand if none is available. Clearly, the mannerly approach is

to provide food at any meeting held around a mealtime. If that

is not possible, and the timing is unavoidable, as the host you

must inform the attendees that they should supply their own

refreshments.

When you are providing a meal, take the time to consider who will be in the room andwhat type of meeting is being held before deciding upon the menu. Avoid messy and difcult-

to-eat foods. For breakfast, the crunching and chewing of cold cereals can be disruptive.

Better to opt for coffee, juices, and breakfast pastries. For lunch, pizza may seem like a quick

and easy alternative, but having professionals in suits eating food from large boxes may work

against the polished image you want to project. Pasta salad and assorted sandwiches may be

a better choice. For a working dinner, select a menu high in vegetables and carbohydrates to

keep the meeting moving along.

Should you opt to provide a buffet meal for a meeting with clients, you will need to give

instructions to your staff in advance. The hosting companys employees should not be the

rst in line for food, should take modest-size servings (to ensure that all the guests get plenty

of food), and should avoid sitting as a group. Instead, the highest-ranking host should invite

the highest-ranking guest to approach the buffet and then motion for this guest to help

him- or herself rst. After serving themselves, the highest-ranking guest and host will sit

together. The rest of the attendees should follow suit, with employees from the host organi-

zation escorting guests through the buffet and then sitting together in host-guest pairs

around the table.

Attending a Meeting

When attending meetings, you should take care to gather up anything you will need. At a

minimum, you should have something to write on and something to write with. If an agenda

was sent in advance, you should bring that as well as any supporting information, docu-

ments, or items. Arrive a few minutes early (ten minutes when meeting with clients, two


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minutes for a regularly scheduled staff meeting) and nd a seat. Be respectful to those

speaking by putting away your mobile devices. In the interest of keeping the meeting

moving, all attendees of a meeting should take a moment to consider whether what they are

about to say is truly relevant to the matter at hand.

C O N F E R E N C E S

Conferences are not paid vacations. When you are representing your company at a confer-

ence, you must project your professional image at all times. This includes dressing, behaving,

and communicating appropriately. You may be visiting a tropical climate and the conference

materials may state business casual, but do keep the following points in mind. First, no

matter what, you must dress professionally. If everyone else is in business casual, you should

be one or two notches above their level of attire. Second, it may be balmy outside, but insidethe conference rooms it will most likely be cool, so be sure to dress in layers. Third, once

your clients or colleagues have seen you in a bathing suit by the pool, that image will be

imprinted in their minds. If you want to lounge, arrange to arrive prior to the start of the

conference or to remain a few days after it concludes.

While you are attending the conference, you are on the companys time. Everything you

say and do reects on you and your company. Of course you may go to dinner and attend the

social outings. Just be sure to keep your wits about you. Todays camera phones can capture

a wide range of activities and instantaneously send them around the world. If you want to let

loose and unwind, take a vacation.

W O R K I N G W I T H O T H E R S

Being a Team Player

Workplaces are the sites of interesting connections. Unlike social situations, which allow

you, for the most part, to tactfully minimize time with individuals you do not enjoy, in pro-

fessional environments you must learn to work with people with whom you may not wish to

spend time. A polished professional actively seeks ways to work effectively with others.

Thanks and Acknowledgment of Others

The familiar dictum is praise in public, criticize in private. This holds true especially in the

workplace. When others are working hard, putting in a special push on a project, or going

above and beyond to get the job done, they should be praised readily and often. When the


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work is not being completed, a private conversation should be scheduled. When providing

critical feedback to someone, be as tangible and specic as possible. Both positive and nega-

tive feedback should be noted in writing.

You do need not be a supervisor to treat others with respect or properly acknowledge

them. Incorporate please and thank you into your everyday conversations. Pause tothink about people who make it possible for you to do your job. Chances are you really notice

who these people are when they happen to be out sick or on vacation. Think about how you

can thank them. Surprisingly, small gestures can mean a lot. For starters, look such an indi-

vidual in the eye and say thank you. Other gestures include a quick, two-line thank-you

note, purchasing a cup of coffee, or even giving a small box of chocolates or cookies. Showing

appreciation is one way to build morale and improve connections.

E X I T I N G G R A C E F U L L Y

It is rare nowadays to hear of anyone retiring after spending an entire career at just one com-

pany. Whether you are leaving because you found a better job, are stepping back from the

workforce, are opening your own company, or were laid off, being able to say good-bye

graciously is an essential part of professional etiquette. Keep your resignation letter as brief

as possible (and refrain from mentioning any complaints about the company). You need only

include the effective date of your resignation, contact information where you may be reached,

and your signature.

Once you have announced that you are leaving, you will become a lame duck, so time

your announcement strategically. Comply with any company requirements regarding length

of notice, but do not linger. Be sure to factor in time for a replacement to be found and some

training to take place when appropriate (such as for a planned retirement or even a maternity

replacement).

Many companies interview outgoing employees to gather information. Answer all ques-

tions judiciously. Some exit interviews are condential, while others are not. In addition, you

do not want to burn any bridges. You may nd one day that you wish to return to this com-

pany. Also, you never know when you might cross paths again with your supervisor or other

people with whom you worked. Do your best to leave on a positive note.

When you leave a company, it can be a stressful and unnerving time, but it is important

to keep your wits about you. Do not yell at anyone, do not destroy company property, and do

not disparage the organization to clients or the media. Demonstrating any of these bad

behaviors will ultimately reect poorly on you.

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