bourbon news. (paris, ky) 1910-12-23 [p ].nyx.uky.edu/dips/xt73n58cgp4b/data/0456.pdf · inclined...

1
THE BOURBON PARIS t 10 Q I i MEWS L 1 q r KENTUCKY DEC 23 1914 jswmnnm Job Printing WORK DONE Good Work Done Cheap Cheap Work Done Good 8 r 1 fZ rc r WHEN PROMISED r r it TREJ9B OF THE NEWS Are prepaired to do the best of Printing on short notice such as BILLHEADS LETTERHEADS CARDS ATALOG POSTERS and n fact everything that is printed Orders for Engraving such as Wedding An nouncements Invitations c c Let us figure with you on on your next work Our facilities are the best having just installed one of the latest im proved Chandler Price Job around and see it work Our isrv new and modern the Bourbon 104 Issues a Year for Yi V 200 Advertising rates reasonable and made known on application IF BOURBON r I r J I e r rI J f r J 1 t J i F r I v r t UI l1li r t r Pressescome f oft J 0 2 aGe f T i f flews i V 1 r ai j j j R g R OffS z r type t S h 4 EI 14L- s ¬ > > < = = > + < He Offers a Seat to a Lady In an Ele vated Car Unexpected This said Mr Goslington I confess is rather puzzling to me but inclined to think that I get left in it The elevated car In which I rode home late yesterday afternoon was as usual at that hour crowded and so as usual I hung on by a strap But a few Stations along the man in front of whom I had been standing got up and went out leaving a va cant seat which of course I might have taken but which I did not take for a step or two further back in the car there was standing holding on by a strap a young woman talking with a young man who was standing near her holding on by the next strapWhat I did was to indicate to this young woman that here was a seat for her at which she turned and stepped across the car as I supposed to occupy the seat that I had thus left for her But just what she did was this Sitting down on one side of this seat she edged along a little further on that side thus making her next neighbor there a woman move along a little and thus providing half the seat vacant and now she invited the young man with whom she had been talking to sit down beside her which he did all this leaving me to stand there completely ignored in front of themSitting down as she did she dis commoded the person the woman sitting next to her and crowding in to sit beside her as he had to do the young man with her the person sitting next to him Thus this lady would appear to have proceeded when opportunity came with entire disregard of every body but herself seeking with ut ter selfishness solely her own com fort and pleasure or so we might have thought if it were possible to think ill of any woman which I do not but while the situation was a little puzzling it certainly did seem as if she had sort of made a gump of me dont you York Sun The Aztec Calendar The Aztecs of Mexico had a of their own and one copy is en graved in stone and now preserved in the National Museum of Mexico Fiftytwo years constituted a cycle with the Aztecs Each year had 365 days There were 18 months of 20 days each and five additional days that were considered very unlucky and were devoted to human sacrifice The month was divided into four weeks of five days each The days were such names as Rain Mon key and Small Bird and each day of the month had a name Whole phrases were used for the names of some months Much Power from Niagara Power generated at Niagara Falls is to be distributed all over Canada Bids have been asked on 10000 tons of structural steel for the Cana dian government The steel is to be used for towers which will support the cables used in transporting the current Already power generated at Niagara is being sent to a distance of more than 12 miles and it is the intention of the Canadian govern ment to increase this distance says the Scientific American Towns in every direction about Niagara will be supplied Womans Suspicious Reticence Are women beginning to talk less in the hope of thus better pleasing men If so while commending the motive we would unhesitatingly question the method The mere music of their voices as contrasted with the raucous male note easily counterbalances any possible disparity in the Ideas expressed Upon all grounds we cry out for loosening of the delicate tongues now so strange ly and so suspiciously stilled Even to China Land The equalrights wave has reached the shores of China and it is that a number of wives in Canton have left their husbands saying that they will no longer be subject to them The wives have had the worst of however as the law gives power to imprison them and they have had to suffer the consequences of their rash resolves Work of Zambesi Missions- A pamphlet recently issued by Andrew Murray gives a brief survey of missions south of the Zambesi There are 31 different missionary organizations at work ministering to over 10000000 people The stu dent volunteer movement in South Africa has put 84 young missionaries in the field Thoughtful Bride She was quite demure and he looked all right They were on their honeymoon and the train had just emerged from a long tunnel Sitting up and arranging her front hair she exclaimedOh tell me Is my mouth on straight Danger in New York Roads There is an average vof seven car collisions a day on the steam sub way elevated and railways of New York V vi1 J In the progress of each mans character Tie will the Jesson of life who is skillful in the ethics of friendship Emerson III GO INGTOMS juR lam heir thinkNew calen- dar 1896 r Ethic eS e lned ii t i f 7i J I k I Outcome discommod- ed report- ed it- s since r r surface of Fritridslrip 4 4- ra M tl I4 ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ > M RECORD JOHP 8T HSIOTOH Alleged Origin of Thackerays Story of the 22 Foot Leap Three college athletes have had an ideal shattered by reading a para graph in a speech that Sir G Trevel yan made in London before the Circle at a recent dinner These men in addition to being ath letes are devoted to Thackeray and The Virginians There is a reference in that book to the prowess of George as an athlete particularly as a broad jumper This is to the effect that Washington was able to jump 22 feet which considering that it was away back in the eighteenth cen tury some leap Although the best American record now is 24 feet 7 inches it has not been standing so long and in the early days of American athletics 22 feet re markable performance in the broad jumpThese three used to pride them selves on knowing about that per formance credited to Washington and they pointed out how in 1876 and for three years following the American championship was won by leaps of less than 20 feet and that from 1880 to 1885 inclusive the champion did not do 22 feet al though close to it on several occa sionsSo they used always to tell folks who asked about great broad jump ers that Washington held the Ameri can record from 1752 to 1885 What shattered all this was the following from the Trevelyan speech- I was present at a dinner where Thackeray discoursed to a delightful audience of young people about The Virginians which he was then writ ing and which seemed to fill his mind to the exclusion of everything else Among other matters he asked us all around the table what was the widest jump any of us had ever known and when we agreed upon twentyone feet he said Then I must make George Washington jump one foot more A Little Devil in the Heart An insane devil lurks in the heart of even the most sainted woman it is the little devil that makes a young wife ask her devoted husband which of the two he would save if she and her mother were drowning writes William J Locke in his story Simple Septimus in the American Magazine It is the same little devil that is respoisible for infinite men dacity on the part of men Have you said that to another No of course he hadnt and the wretch is instantly perjured My immortal soul says the good fellow instantaneously converted into an atrocious liar and the little devil cooes with satisfaction and curls himself up snugly to sleep Uses of Irish Peat Consul Henry S Culver of Cork writes that the peat beds of Ireland may yet become a valuable asset in the countrys Industrial development other than for fuel if as is now claimed upon the authority of an Austrian experimenter the fibres of the remains of the reeds and grasses of which peat is composed be utilized not only for papermaking and carpets but for weaving the fin est fabrIcs as well The claim is put forth that the fibre is elastic and dur able and being a nonconductor of heat the cloth manufactured from it is as tough as linen and as warm as woolen liidiuGestion Here is a story the bishop of Lon told John Morley the other day says the Philadelphia Inquirer They were holding an exam in an East end school and the teacher was the chief products of the Indian empire One child recited a list of cosmestlbles Please miss India produces curries and pepper and citron and chillies and chutney and and Yes yes and what comes after that Please miss I dont remember Yes but think What is India so famous for Please m Indiagestion Hens Hatch Fish Chinamen have a way of tricking liens so that they assist In the hatching of fish FiSh eggs are care fully placed in an egg shell which Is then sealed and put under an unsus pecting hen In a few days the spawn Is warmed into life and the contents of the shell are then cast Into a shallow pool where the completes the work J 5 Demand for Artificial Flowers Makers of artificial flowers in New York city are receiving an unusual number or orders from all parts of the country for the fall and winter trade Most of the supply for the nation comes from New York where more money is spent for the manu facture of imitation flowers than in any city in the world Picking Out a Job Work observed the reflective is all right if you get to suit your indivi dual needs I for instance wouldnt object to calling out the stations on an Atlantic liner Spread Happiness Is not the first duty of those who are happy to tell of their gladness to others All men can learn to be happy and the teaching of it is easy Italian Proverb Little dogs start tile hare out great catch it J r r Pub- lishers wasa I roman r I don ex- plaining I I deadbeatwork the sort f i i ft Ki r Washing- ton was ISt cart r sun- shine t other can ones JIrw j y a Kl Mh C1f ti ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ° he iFbtiaer the the Spelling It never occurred to me that there could he two ways of the word hunk said the scholarly appearing person who was studying the sporting section of the newspaper But I happened to a Memphis newspaper the other day and as a head to a speech made by Commissioner in Tokio recently I read Loomis Hands Out the Bunc Now without endeaving to go Into the merits of the case so put I want to say only that the headline meant that Mr Loomis was accused of softsoaping the Japanese he ad dressed The only other authority for the spelling of the word comes from the sporting cartoonists whose work study carefully They are unanimous in spelling it bunk appears to me that the South ern version is based on a belief that the word is a diminutive of bun combe The Northern spelling may be due to the belief that a person who may be bunked is a person of sleepy or dopy nature who might as well be lying in a bunk wrapped in slumber Therefore when a per son is bunked he is rendered sleepy That is merely conjecture The lust of the Earth Expecting a visit from the super intendent of an adjacent Sunday school one Sunday afternoon one enterprisng teacher anticipating the line of questions which would be asked of the scholars selected a boy from her class to answer each ques Lion As she had figured it out the visitor would first ask the pupils the question Who made you and the pupil was of course to answer God The next question was to be Of what to which the answer was to be Of the dust of the earth Unfortunately between the time Sun day school was called to order and the visiting superintendent had tak en the floor the first pupil was tak en sick and obliged to go home The teacher did not have the opportunity to readjust her force and when the first question was asked the second boy thought it a good opportunity for him to get his answer and get It off his mind so to the question Who made you he answered Of the dust of the earth Oh no said the visitor God made you No sir He did not said the youngster The little boy that God made has gone home sick and I am the dust of the Famous Epicures In the ceiling of the dining room in Neros golden house on the Palatine hill were compartments in laid with ivory which revolved showering perfumes and flowers on the guests Flowers were presented to the guests by slaves They were crowned with wreaths Usually after one course the tables were removed and others placed before the guests Throughout the meal drinking con tinued until the banqueters fell un der the table stupefied In those days men lived to eat Great gen erals spent fortunes accumumulated in years of warfare In gratifying their appetites Lucullus on one din ner with Cicero and Pompey spent 50000 drachmas or 7000 Plthy lus who was famed for the delicacy ind originality of his dinners wrap ped his tongue in linen when not using it That he might better ap preciate flavors of the viands he had it cleaned with fish skin before Time to the Hundredth of a Second Of the many new devices that modern inventions has recently given to the world perhaps there is no more ingenious contrivance than the electrical chronometer the product of a Parisian brain by means of which an automobile race can be timed even to the onehundredth of a second One of these instruments is placed at the startingpoint of the race and another at the finish the two being connected by a charged wire When the start has been a current of electricity is immediately set through the line which deflects a needle making a dot upon a paper on a revolving drum At the finish another dot is made upon the paper the exact time may then be discov ered by means of the scale which connects these markings Memory of Animals The elephants memory is pro verbial said F Martin Duncan F Z S at the New Gallery Photo graphic Exhibition but that of oth er beasts of the jungle is hardly less noteworthyTigers captivity always remem ber a kindness and recognize a friend even after the lapse of mouths Lions which have been in a zoological gar den for years have also been knowu to show signs of abject fear when visited by native hunters from the country where they had their early home London Daily Mail Surely the Limit A friend was once talking with a crazy woman when a stingy nian passed by Do you see that man said she with cunning smile You could blow his soul through a hum mingbirds bill into a mosquitos eye and the mosquito wouldnt wink Vices find Virtues Dp not consider any vice as trivial and therefore practice it do not consider any virtue as unimportant and therefore neglect it kil UiIi U c No hern Loomis I earthJudge din- ing mad f J S i 1 f 4 JT fiJ BUNK the tatter Heather zany spell- ing pick- up SIt I Sonar r r k a H I Tl a NY ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ Thbkghtfiilt of Clerk An amusing incident occur a hotel a few nights It that a farmer from Jersey who was unusually ignorant of city ways went to the hotel with fcU son The father retired early out the son went out to see the toWn At 123o oclock the farmer went down stairs and inquired of the night clerk if the boy had retired yet was told that he had not Th father went back to his room Alb hour later he again appeared the clerk and said v Haint Jack in yet Again he was informed that lad was out The old man made several subsequent trips and still his boy was among the missing at 330 oclock the farmer trudged wearily down the stairs and asked again if his boy had returned No hes not in yet replied thet night clerk Waal I guess he wont come in then Guess you neednt wait up any longer d j er 1 J r J ii Ha th Finally fEM I d appears South k before i < > UNKIND Mr Ruyters Kramp a poet When B write far Into the night I find great in getting to Miss Cutting HIntz Why dont yois get up and read what youve written Not That Kind of a Man At a banquet of the Farmers Union at Shawnee Okla a satirical speech bv Irwin S Mason of Salisaw stock farm was well Enough then so Mr Masons ended enough of this lying talk of the farmers meanness and ness and talk makes the farmer out to be the kind of a man whod complain if his wife eloped in the spring with the hired man that he wouldnt have cared much if she had only eloped in the fall instead so that hed have spared the expense of wintering her i The Xew Primer See the young with happy look He presented a pretyty girl with a pound box of candy and now he isIT How long will lie be 11 with the pretty girl another young man plong and presents tier with a uound hex ViX The Price bill of There are several items in it that I dont understand at alL Lawyer I am perfectly willing to explain it but the explanation will cost you 100 x After being taken in to see nis baby sister Henry aged four very noncommittal A little later his mother sent for him and said Henry what do you think new baby Why mother he replied very seriously shes all brown wrinkled Ill bet you got stuck witlte an old one Pendleton What are the great est wishes of a medical What are they 2 Pendleton To put Dn before hiss mvn name and Dr after the of other people In the game of life abservecS the literary editor it is always I wish you wouldnt call life a game interrupted information editor Why not Because it introduces rife of chance In the great oC creation I wish you wouldnt speak oft creation as a scheme irritably the literary editors introduces the idea that creation is a frameup i Some men are so queer r And are going to tell me oe one particularly queer one Yes Its Mr Barberton Tins wife used to beg him for nickles dimes and naw hes cheerfully Say dad why did mother Browning club She isnt mteifesteiE in peotry is she Nope but the club meets on Fri days and she hasnt anything do on Fridays But will your father give cow sent worry about that Fatheriisr going tbtvaste time opposing 1 summer engagenientj Is this pictiircrlike your ther V Tilly Of course not sill It ik liKe father when he has his pi ur taken Puck t ill T MV a V tii if V f I I the I hard narrownessthiS that bee I I I Until I ClientThis ex- orbitant f 1 four KeferGive itup s the L arid Jay f hi or lon f i iiVi 1 jIi t g Tjt J 4 h dif- ficulty sleepS re- ceived son man the comes two yom s rs new was ant two student f name j ides scheme in- terposed That t you alimony jour the else todT S not r filly fIr NP y t yi u fit t ¬ ¬ ¬ ¬ > > < = > °

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Page 1: Bourbon News. (Paris, KY) 1910-12-23 [p ].nyx.uky.edu/dips/xt73n58cgp4b/data/0456.pdf · inclined to think that I get left in it The elevated car In which I rode home late yesterday

THE BOURBON PARIS

t10

Q I

i MEWS L 1q

r KENTUCKY DEC 23 1914

jswmnnmJob Printing

WORK DONE

Good Work Done Cheap

Cheap Work Done Good

8r

1 fZ rcr WHEN PROMISEDrr

it

TREJ9B OF

THE

NEWSAre prepaired to do the best of

Printing on short notice such as

BILLHEADS

LETTERHEADS

CARDS

ATALOG

POSTERS

and n fact everything

that is printed

Orders for Engraving

such as Wedding An

nouncements Invitations

c c

Let us figure with you onon your next work

Our facilities are the best having

just installed one of the latest improved Chandler Price Job

around and see it

work

Our isrv new and modern

the Bourbon

104 Issues a Year forYi V

200Advertising rates reasonable and made

known on application

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He Offers a Seat to a Lady In an Elevated Car UnexpectedThis said Mr Goslington I

confess is rather puzzling to me butinclined to think that I get

left in itThe elevated car In which I rode

home late yesterday afternoon wasas usual at that hour crowded andso as usual I hung on by a strapBut a few Stations along the man infront of whom I had been standinggot up and went out leaving a vacant seat which of course I mighthave taken but which I did not takefor a step or two further back in thecar there was standing holding onby a strap a young woman talkingwith a young man who was standingnear her holding on by the next

strapWhat I did was to indicate to thisyoung woman that here was a seatfor her at which she turned andstepped across the car as I supposedto occupy the seat that I had thusleft for her But just what she didwas this

Sitting down on one side of thisseat she edged along a little furtheron that side thus making her nextneighbor there a woman move alonga little and thus providing half theseat vacant and now she invited theyoung man with whom she had beentalking to sit down beside her whichhe did all this leaving me to standthere completely ignored in frontof

themSittingdown as she did she dis

commoded the person the womansitting next to her and crowding into sit beside her as he had to dothe young man with her

the person sitting next to himThus this lady would appear to haveproceeded when opportunitycame with entire disregard of everybody but herself seeking with utter selfishness solely her own comfort and pleasure or so we mighthave thought if it were possible tothink ill of any woman which I donot but while the situation was alittle puzzling it certainly did seemas if she had sort of made a gumpof me dont you YorkSun

The Aztec CalendarThe Aztecs of Mexico had a

of their own and one copy is engraved in stone and now preservedin the National Museum of MexicoFiftytwo years constituted a cyclewith the Aztecs Each year had 365days There were 18 months of 20days each and five additional daysthat were considered very unluckyand were devoted to human sacrificeThe month was divided into fourweeks of five days each The dayswere such names as Rain Monkey and Small Bird and eachday of the month had a name Wholephrases were used for the names ofsome months

Much Power from NiagaraPower generated at Niagara Falls

is to be distributed all over CanadaBids have been asked on 10000tons of structural steel for the Canadian government The steel is to beused for towers which will supportthe cables used in transporting thecurrent Already power generatedat Niagara is being sent to a distanceof more than 12 miles and it is theintention of the Canadian government to increase this distance saysthe Scientific American Towns inevery direction about Niagara will besupplied

Womans Suspicious ReticenceAre women beginning to talk less

in the hope of thus better pleasingmen If so while commending themotive we would unhesitatinglyquestion the method The meremusic of their voices as contrastedwith the raucous male note easilycounterbalances any possible disparityin the Ideas expressed Upon allgrounds we cry out for loosening ofthe delicate tongues now so strangely and so suspiciously stilled

Even to China LandThe equalrights wave has reached

the shores of China and it isthat a number of wives in Canton

have left their husbands sayingthat they will no longer be subjectto them The wives have had theworst of however as the law givespower to imprison them and theyhave had to suffer the consequencesof their rash resolves

Work of Zambesi Missions-A pamphlet recently issued by

Andrew Murray gives a brief surveyof missions south of the ZambesiThere are 31 different missionaryorganizations at work ministering toover 10000000 people The student volunteer movement in SouthAfrica has put 84 young missionariesin the field

Thoughtful BrideShe was quite demure and he

looked all right They were on theirhoneymoon and the train had justemerged from a long tunnel Sittingup and arranging her front hairshe exclaimedOh tell me Is my mouthon straight

Danger in New York RoadsThere is an average vof seven car

collisions a day on the steam subway elevated and railwaysof New York

V vi1J

In the progress of each manscharacter Tie will theJesson of life who is skillful in theethics of friendship Emerson

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M RECORD JOHP 8T HSIOTOH

Alleged Origin of Thackerays Storyof the 22 Foot Leap

Three college athletes have had anideal shattered by reading a paragraph in a speech that Sir G Trevelyan made in London before the

Circle at a recent dinnerThese men in addition to being athletes are devoted to Thackeray and

The VirginiansThere is a reference in that book

to the prowess of Georgeas an athlete particularly as a

broad jumper This is to the effectthat Washington was able to jump22 feet which considering that itwas away back in the eighteenth century some leap Although thebest American record now is 24 feet7 inches it has not been standingso long and in the early days ofAmerican athletics 22 feet remarkable performance in the broad

jumpThesethree used to pride them

selves on knowing about that performance credited to Washingtonand they pointed out how in 1876and for three years following theAmerican championship was won byleaps of less than 20 feet and thatfrom 1880 to 1885 inclusive thechampion did not do 22 feet although close to it on several occa

sionsSothey used always to tell folks

who asked about great broad jumpers that Washington held the American record from 1752 to 1885 Whatshattered all this was the followingfrom the Trevelyan speech-

I was present at a dinner whereThackeray discoursed to a delightfulaudience of young people about TheVirginians which he was then writing and which seemed to fill his mindto the exclusion of everything elseAmong other matters he asked usall around the table what was thewidest jump any of us had everknown and when we agreed upontwentyone feet he said Then Imust make George Washington jumpone foot more

A Little Devil in the HeartAn insane devil lurks in the heart

of even the most sainted woman itis the little devil that makes ayoung wife ask her devoted husbandwhich of the two he would save ifshe and her mother were drowningwrites William J Locke in his storySimple Septimus in the American

Magazine It is the same little devilthat is respoisible for infinite mendacity on the part of men Haveyou said that to anotherNo of course he hadnt and thewretch is instantly perjured Myimmortal soul says the good fellowinstantaneously converted into anatrocious liar and the little devilcooes with satisfaction and curlshimself up snugly to sleep

Uses of Irish PeatConsul Henry S Culver of Cork

writes that the peat beds of Irelandmay yet become a valuable asset inthe countrys Industrial developmentother than for fuel if as is nowclaimed upon the authority of anAustrian experimenter the fibres ofthe remains of the reeds and grassesof which peat is composed beutilized not only for papermakingand carpets but for weaving the finest fabrIcs as well The claim is putforth that the fibre is elastic and durable and being a nonconductor ofheat the cloth manufactured from itis as tough as linen and as warm aswoolen

liidiuGestionHere is a story the bishop of Lon

told John Morley the other daysays the Philadelphia Inquirer Theywere holding an exam in an Eastend school and the teacher was

the chief products of theIndian empire One child recited alist of cosmestlbles Please missIndia produces curries and pepperand citron and chillies and chutneyand and Yes yes and whatcomes after that Please missI dont remember Yes but thinkWhat is India so famous for

Please m Indiagestion

Hens Hatch FishChinamen have a way of tricking

liens so that they assist In thehatching of fish FiSh eggs are carefully placed in an egg shell which Isthen sealed and put under an unsuspecting hen In a few days thespawn Is warmed into life and thecontents of the shell are then castInto a shallow pool where the

completes the work J 5

Demand for Artificial FlowersMakers of artificial flowers in New

York city are receiving an unusualnumber or orders from all parts ofthe country for the fall and wintertrade Most of the supply for thenation comes from New York wheremore money is spent for the manufacture of imitation flowers than inany city in the world

Picking Out a JobWork observed the reflective

is all right if youget to suit your indivi

dual needs I for instance wouldntobject to calling out the stations onan Atlantic liner

Spread HappinessIs not the first duty of those who

are happy to tell of their gladnessto others All men can learn to behappy and the teaching of it is easy

Italian ProverbLittle dogs start tile hare out

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he iFbtiaer thethe Spelling

It never occurred to me thatthere could he two ways of

the word hunk said thescholarly appearing person who wasstudying the sporting section of thenewspaper But I happened to

a Memphis newspaper the otherday and as a head to a speech madeby Commissioner in Tokiorecently I read Loomis HandsOut the Bunc

Now without endeaving to goInto the merits of the case so put Iwant to say only that the headlinemeant that Mr Loomis was accusedof softsoaping the Japanese he addressed The only other authorityfor the spelling of the word comesfrom the sporting cartoonists whosework study carefully They areunanimous in spelling it bunk

appears to me that the Southern version is based on a belief thatthe word is a diminutive of buncombe The Northern spelling maybe due to the belief that a personwho may be bunked is a person ofsleepy or dopy nature who might aswell be lying in a bunk wrappedin slumber Therefore when a person is bunked he is rendered sleepyThat is merely conjecture

The lust of the EarthExpecting a visit from the super

intendent of an adjacent Sundayschool one Sunday afternoon oneenterprisng teacher anticipating theline of questions which would beasked of the scholars selected a boyfrom her class to answer each quesLion As she had figured it out thevisitor would first ask the pupils thequestion Who made you andthe pupil was of course to answer

God The next question was tobe Of what to which the answerwas to be Of the dust of the earthUnfortunately between the time Sunday school was called to order andthe visiting superintendent had taken the floor the first pupil was taken sick and obliged to go home Theteacher did not have the opportunityto readjust her force and when thefirst question was asked the secondboy thought it a good opportunityfor him to get his answer and get Itoff his mind so to the question

Who made you he answered Ofthe dust of the earth

Oh no said the visitor Godmade you

No sir He did not said theyoungster The little boy that Godmade has gone home sick and I amthe dust of the

Famous EpicuresIn the ceiling of the dining room

in Neros golden house on thePalatine hill were compartments inlaid with ivory which revolvedshowering perfumes and flowers onthe guests Flowers were presentedto the guests by slaves They werecrowned with wreaths Usually afterone course the tables were removedand others placed before the guestsThroughout the meal drinking continued until the banqueters fell under the table stupefied In thosedays men lived to eat Great generals spent fortunes accumumulatedin years of warfare In gratifyingtheir appetites Lucullus on one dinner with Cicero and Pompey spent50000 drachmas or 7000 Plthylus who was famed for the delicacyind originality of his dinners wrapped his tongue in linen when notusing it That he might better appreciate flavors of the viands he hadit cleaned with fish skin before

Time to the Hundredth of a SecondOf the many new devices that

modern inventions has recently givento the world perhaps there is nomore ingenious contrivance than theelectrical chronometer the productof a Parisian brain by means ofwhich an automobile race can betimed even to the onehundredth ofa second

One of these instruments is placedat the startingpoint of the race andanother at the finish the two beingconnected by a charged wire Whenthe start has been a current ofelectricity is immediately setthrough the line which deflects aneedle making a dot upon a paperon a revolving drum At the finishanother dot is made upon the paperthe exact time may then be discovered by means of the scale whichconnects these markings

Memory of AnimalsThe elephants memory is pro

verbial said F Martin Duncan FZ S at the New Gallery Photographic Exhibition but that of other beasts of the jungle is hardly lessnoteworthyTigers

captivity always remember a kindness and recognize a friendeven after the lapse of mouths Lionswhich have been in a zoological garden for years have also been knowuto show signs of abject fear whenvisited by native hunters from thecountry where they had their earlyhome London Daily Mail

Surely the LimitA friend was once talking with a

crazy woman when a stingy nianpassed by Do you see that mansaid she with cunning smile Youcould blow his soul through a hummingbirds bill into a mosquitoseye and the mosquito wouldntwink

Vices find VirtuesDp not consider any vice as trivial

and therefore practice it do notconsider any virtue as unimportantand therefore neglect it

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Thbkghtfiilt of ClerkAn amusing incident occur

a hotel a few nights Itthat a farmer from Jerseywho was unusually ignorant of cityways went to the hotel with fcU

son The father retired early outthe son went out to see the toWn

At 123o oclock the farmer wentdown stairs and inquired of the nightclerk if the boy had retired yetwas told that he had not Thfather went back to his room Albhour later he again appearedthe clerk and said v

Haint Jack in yetAgain he was informed that

lad was out The old man madeseveral subsequent trips and still hisboy was among the missingat 330 oclock the farmer trudgedwearily down the stairs and askedagain if his boy had returned

No hes not in yet replied thetnight clerk

Waal I guess he wont come inthen Guess you neednt wait upany longer

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UNKINDMr Ruyters Kramp a poet When B

write far Into the night I find greatin getting to

Miss Cutting HIntz Why dont yoisget up and read what youve written

Not That Kind of a ManAt a banquet of the Farmers

Union at Shawnee Okla a satiricalspeech bv Irwin S Mason ofSalisaw stock farm was well

Enough then so Mr Masonsended enough of this lying talkof the farmers meanness andness and talkmakes the farmer out to be the kindof a man whod complain if his wifeeloped in the spring with the hiredman that he wouldnt have caredmuch if she had only eloped in thefall instead so that hed havespared the expense of winteringher

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The Xew PrimerSee the young with

happy look He presented apretyty girl with a pound box ofcandy and now he isIT

How long will lie be 11 with thepretty girl

another young manplong and presents tier with auound hex

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The Pricebill of

There are several itemsin it that I dont understand at alL

Lawyer I am perfectly willing toexplain it but the explanation willcost you 100

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After being taken in to see nisbaby sister Henry aged fourvery noncommittal A little laterhis mother sent for him and said

Henry what do you thinknew baby

Why mother he replied veryseriously shes all brownwrinkled Ill bet you got stuck witltean old one

Pendleton What are the greatest wishes of a medical

What are they 2Pendleton To put Dn before hiss

mvn name and Dr after theof other people

In the game of life abservecSthe literary editor it is always

I wish you wouldnt call life agame interrupted informationeditor

Why notBecause it introduces rife

of chance In the great oCcreation

I wish you wouldnt speak oftcreation as a scheme irritably

the literary editorsintroduces the idea that creation isa frameup i

Some men are so queer r

And are going to tell me oeone particularly queer one

Yes Its Mr Barberton Tinswife used to beg him for nicklesdimes and naw hes cheerfully

Say dad why did motherBrowning club She isnt mteifesteiEin peotry is she

Nope but the club meets on Fridays and she hasnt anythingdo on Fridays

But will your father give cowsent

worry about that Fatheriisrgoing tbtvaste time opposing 1

summer engagenientj

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