Brad Epsten, LSCSW

Horizon Academy School Counselor

Gerilyn Semro, MS, MS

Horizon Academy Classroom Teacher

Enhancing Social Skills in your Child with ADHD

Pressures on Social Competency

Sharing Waiting your

turn Following rules

Impulsivity, Inattention Hyperactivity

Emotionally charged reactions

Lack cause/effect connection

Interrupting, personal space, delayed gratification

Social Cues

Important skills of childhood social success: Challenges of ADHD:

Keys to Social Competency

1. Ability to join or enter a group.

2. Ability to establish and maintain friends.

3. Ability to resolve conflicts.

4. Ability to “tune in” to social skills.

Multi-task Energy reserves Hidden Talents / Skills Exciting to be around

ADHD as a Strength:

Social Skills -How to Teach!

Use direct instruction Verbal-Considerate, Non-Emotional Non Verbal-reduces call-outs, visual cue

Use rehearsal Use visuals for structure Use comic strip / social stories Use of video

Body Basics

Introduce yourself to person next to you. Do this exercise again using Body Basics:

Stand up Arms length distance Firm handshake Look other person in eye Use pleasant tone of voice Greet with name Share reciprocal conversation

Social Detective Adapted from the work of Michelle G. Winner, Think Social by Beckham Linton M.A. CCC-SLP Speech Language Pathologist

Social Detective Vocabulary Terms Being a Social Detective means using our eyes, body and brain to observe and think about what other people are thinking and feeling at any given time. There are clues all around us that give us information about a situation that help us to know what is expected what is coming next, even in the stories that we read!Keeping your brain and body in the group: Understanding that our bodies need to look interested and connected to the group and our brain needs to keep thinking about what the group is thinking in order to participate within the group. We also teach that people can see when your body or brain does not appear to be a part of the group.Your body rolled out of the group: A students’ body is turned or physically moved away from the group and the others notice that the student is not working as part of the group.Your brain rolled out of the group: A student’s brain is distracted from what the group is doing and the other people in the group notice that he/she does not appear to be working as part of the group, even if his/her body is in the group!

Social Detective Adapted from the work of Michelle G. Winner, Think Social Beckham Linton M.A. CCC-SLP Speech Language Pathologist

Doing what is “expected”: Understanding a range of hidden rules in every situation and we have to figure out what those rules are and then follow them in order to keep other people feeling good about you.

Figuring out other people’s plans: Determining what people are planning to do next based on their physical actions. We can also start to figure out what people are planning to do by interpreting the subtle meaning in their language; this is a higher level skill.

Whopping topic change: When a comment is made and the listener cannot determine the thread of information that connects this comment to what was previously said.

Map it Out!: The social behavior map is a tool for helping us learn how expected/unexpected behaviors make people around us feel, what the effects of these behaviors are and how they ultimately affect how we think and feel about ourselves. This mapping tool can be used either before, during or after any socially challenging situation to teach the basic concepts of social thinking.

Do’s & Don’ts for Fostering Social Competence by Richard LaVoie, M.A., M.Ed.

Excerpted from the Teacher's Guide Last One Picked ... First One Picked On Learning Disabilities and Social Skills with Richard

Lavoie 1994

Please note the key at the end of each suggestion:

P = appropriate for parent use

T = appropriate for teacher use

P/T = utilized by parents or teachers

Do’s:Observe your child in varied social situations (classroom, scouts, free play) to gain deeper understanding of social strengths and weaknesses. (P)

Do’s & Don’ts for Fostering Social Competence by Richard LaVoie, M.A., M.Ed.

Use signal system with child for awkward social situations or reminders. (P/T)

Reward system to promote appropriate social behavior. (P/T)

Group activities should match interests and abilities of child. Clean slate and effective instructors will increase success.(P)

Continually reinforce social information – look for teachable moments. (P/T)

Do’s & Don’ts for Fostering Social Competence by Richard LaVoie, M.A., M.Ed.

Encourage all family members to take an active role in supporting social learning and success and keep the narrative positive. Progress should be measured against oneself vs. others. (P)

Assist and scaffold transitions (reminders, countdowns, visual schedules, consistency, advance planners). (P/T)

Work on one behavior/skill at a time. (P/T) Assist and allow child to appropriately

express emotions during difficult social situations. (P/T)

Do’s & Don’ts for Fostering Social Competence by Richard LaVoie, M.A., M.Ed.

Teach an model empathy to raise awareness/understanding of others feelings (“walking in someone else’s shoes”). (P/T)

Use “real life”, tv shows, and movies as examples to teach social skills. (P)

Provide choices to foster independence, decision making skills and ownership of task. (P/T)

Do’s & Don’ts for Fostering Social Competence by Richard LaVoie, M.A., M.Ed.

Don’t discourage child from engaging friendships with younger children that may be more on their developmental level – build success. (P/T)

Don’t force child to participate in large groups if they are not comfortable or competent – start slow and build. (P/T)

Don’t place child in overly competitive situations - focus on participation, enjoyment, and skill building. (P/T)

Don’t assume child understood your verbal instructions – ask them to repeat. (P/T)

Do’s & Don’ts for Fostering Social Competence by Richard LaVoie, M.A., M.Ed.

Don’t teach social skills in high stress/emotional moment – approach when relaxed and receptive. (P)

Don’t expect punishment/negative reinforcement to have long term or meaningful impact on social skills deficit – positive reinforcement = more effective. (P/T)

Overuse of punishment: Not learning appropriate behavior Child can become passive and avoid social situations Lead to lying, cheating, blaming Adaptation to punishment

Do’s & Don’ts for Fostering Social Competence by Richard LaVoie, M.A., M.Ed.

Do use punishment for behavior: Intolerable Dangerous Unaffected by positive discipline

How to use punishment: Immediately after offending act Consistently With warning Without emotion Don’t take away earned reward

How Can We Help

Play dates- structure, advance planning, rules, 2 children/not 3, fade to background, end on good note

Practice, practice, practice – role-play, read, observe, social stories, model

Social Autopsies – post-event rehash to learn from mistakes and successes

Teach Conflict Resolution Skills Entering into a conversation

How We Can Help

Make Lists (visual record) Ask for Clarification

Both helper AND person w/ ADHD Feedback loop

Praise when appropriate Advanced preparation 10 second delay

ADHD Interventions (cont’d):

How Can We Help

Dinner Table Board Games One-on-one time Open dialogue (at the right time) Non-judgmental Encouraging support

What NOT to do:

Don’t be the hovering parent

Don’t intervene every time to prevent failure

Don’t compare children

Don’t use sink or swim approach

School’s Out!!!

Some tips that have helped other families get through the summer adjustment:

If your child requires academic exposure during the summer, try to keep it balanced with some recreation or high interest activity.

Keeping some structure or routine during the summer can help students with the transition in schedules. Continue some academic work such as regular reading schedule. This can be facilitated with trips to the library and possible rewards of DVD rentals.

Summer Camps and Activities-2015

Local Camp/Activity Guideswww.kcparent.com – search on summer campswww.kckidsfun.comwww.JCPRD.com – Over 40 professionally programmed and supervised camps and clinics throughout Johnson County.

National Camp Guideswww.kidscamp.comwww.summercamp.org

Programs in other states:www.campencourage.com – high functioning spectrum disorderswww.DurangoMountainCamp.com – reading and dyslexiahttp://soarnc.org/soar-adhd-summer-camp/ - ADHD summer camp

Summer Camps and Activities-2015

Recommended Area Camps/Activitieshttp://horizon-academy.org/summer-school/ -Horizon Academy - Individualized academic programs and specific academic clinics.https://www.joshuacenter.com/camper-home.html - Neurological disorders, Asperger’s, OCD, Tourette syndromewww.campbarnabas.org – Camp Barnabas – high functioning Asperger’s and other health impairmentshttp://www.barstowschool.org/podium/default.aspx?t=126046 -330 camps: academics/arts/sports/technologyhttp://www.pembrokehill.org/programs/summer-programs/index.aspx -Pembroke Hill-academic/arts/rec-activitieswww.MyAnimalCamp.com – KC Cub Creek Science Camp – ages 7-17. www.mattierhodes.org – Summer Art Camps (daytime) www.WINforKC.org – Camp Win for girls – Empowerment, fitness, and sports camp.www.speds.org – St. Paul’s Episcopal Day School Camp – Ages 3-13www.nkccc.org – Summer Fun Camp www.paintglazeandfire.net – Camp Artrageous – Art activities camp www.CultureHouse.com – The Culture House – Drama camp www.OPChildcare.com – Sky’s the Limit – Variety of activities for kids K-6 .www.DramaKC.com – Theatre of Imagination—Performing Arts/Drama day camp. www.midnight-farm.org - equine programswww.TrilogyCulturalArts.com – Performing Arts Camp – Day and night camps offered .www.cpchmontessori.com – Outdoor classroom summer campwww.KCShakes.org – Heart of America Shakespeare Festival campwww.merriam.org/park -- Merriam Parks & Recreation Department daytime campswww.oakhilldayschool.org – Academic/tutoring courses, enrichment programs, art classes, field trips.

Suggested Reading

“Thinking About YOU Thinking About Me” by Michelle Garcia Winner

“It’s So Much Work to Be Your Friend” by Rick Lavoie

“How Rude! The Teenagers’ Guide to Good Manners, Proper Behavior, and Not Grossing People Out” by Alex J. Packer, Ph.D.

“Jarvis Clutch-Social Spy” by Mel Levine, M.D. and Jarvis Clutch

“The New Social Story Book” by Carol Gray