breaking the spirit of rejection

8/8/2019 Breaking the Spirit of Rejection

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{p`kjijk pxpl{` jc njcb# Rd`x` j{ cl lc` lc `fxrd lx jcrd` }lxgb gja` zl#

Rd`x` }f{ f pxlhg`n jc rd` `fxrd rdfr cl lc` `g{` klgb{lgy` hr zl' {l Mlb {fjb' J c``b`b Xlcfgb1 J c``b`b

_fg1 J c``b`b [r`y`1 J c``b`b }dl`y`x # # # rl kln` rl



;8

`fxrd rl {lgy` rdfr pxlhg`n# Rdfr-{ }dz zl fx` d`x`#

Zl dfy` f bjyjc` pxpl{`# G`r n` {fz rdfr fmfjc#

Zl dfy` f bjyjc` pxpl{` {l rd`x`ilx`' Mlb nfb` zl jc

dj{ jnfm`# D` pr dj{ [pjxjr jc zl fcb }jrd rd` [pjxjr li Mlb jc zl' zl kfc fkklnpgj{d fczrdjcm# Mx`fr`x j{ D`

rdfr j{ jc zl rdfc D` rdfr j{ jc rd` }lxgb# Rd` Mx`fr

Lc`' Mlb Djn{`gi# G`r n` {rfxr ly`x#

J-n fhlr rl m`r `tkjr`b# Mlb' djn{`gi' j{ gjyjcm jc zl#

Ji zl `y`x kfrkd rdfr x`y`gfrjlc' zl }jgg rxc rd` }lxgbp{jb` bl}c# Mlb' Djn{`gi' rd` Kx`frlx li rd` Pcjy`x{`'

rd` Lc` rdfr nfb` rd` d`fy`c fcb rd` `fxrd' rd` Lc` rdfr



;;

{pla` ‗G`r rd`x` h` gjmdr„' D`' Djn{`gi' j{ gjyjcm jc zl

rdxlmd rd` Dlgz Mdl{r# ]` m`r rdj{ Dlgz Mdl{r rdjcmajcb li njt`b p#

Rd` Dlgz Mdl{r j{ nlx` rdfc e{r {p`fajcm jc rlcm`{#Rd` Dlgz Mdl{r j{ nlx` rdfc e{r xccjcm fxlcb rd`

kdxkd fcb m`rrjcm `tkjr`b fcb enpjcm p fcb bl}c# Ji

zlx Dlgz Mdl{r lcgz }lxa{ jc kdxkd' jr-{ clr nkd li fDlgz Mdl{r# [ln` li { blc-r `y`x x`eljk`' blc-r `y`x

pxfj{` lx nfmcjiz Mlb lx }lx{djp Mlb crjg }` m`r rl

kdxkd' hr }dfr dfpp`c{ }d`c zl-x` clr jc kdxkd< Ji rd` Dlgz [pjxjr j{ clr }lxajcm jc zl.. J n`fc J i``g dj{

px`{`ck` fgg rd` rjn`#



;2

]j{bln Ilx @y`xz [jrfrjlc

J gjy` jc rd` y`xz px`{`ck` li Mlb fgg bfz glcm# J fn

}lx{djpjcm' pxfj{jcm fcb rdfcajcm Mlb# J d`fx Mlb {p`fa

rl n`# Mlb rfga{ rl n` fgg rd` rjn`# J acl} p{zkdjfrxj{r{{fz {ln`lc` j{ rfgajcm rl zl# [ln`lc` j{ {p`fajcm rl

zl< Zl njmdr dfy` pxlhg`n{# Cl' J blc-r dfy` fcz

pxlhg`n# J m`r {kfx`b }d`c Mlb j{ clr rfgajcm# J }fcrMlb rl {p`fa rl n`# D`-{ nz Bfbbz&

Kfc zl jnfmjc` dfyjcm f ifrd`x rdfr }lgb c`y`x {p`fa

rl zl< Kfc zl jnfmjc` dfyjcm {ln`lc` }dl c`y`x

{fz{ fczrdjcm< Kfc zl jnfmjc` h`jcm jc f x`gfrjlc{djp



;0

}d`x` cl lc` `y`x {fz{ f }lxb rl zl< Ld' nz

mllbc`{{' jnfmjc` }d`c Elh-{ ixj`cb{ kfn` fcb rd`z {frbl}c ilx {`y`c bfz{ fcb bjbc-r {fz f }lxb# J blc-r }fcr

fcz ixj`cb{ gja` rdfr# Ji J-n mljcm rdxlmd' J-n h`jcm

r`{r`b' ji J-n h`jcm rxj`b' {p`fa }lxb{ li `cklxfm`n`crrl n`' {p`fa }lxb{ li pxfj{` rl n`' {p`fa }lxb{ rdfr

pgjir n`#

Blc-r {jr bl}c fcb glla fr n` gja` nnnnnnnnn Elh'

zl n{r dfy` blc` {ln`rdjcm# J }lgb dfy` f{a`b rdl{`

ajcb{ li ixj`cb{ rl g`fy`# J blc-r c``b zl# J-n mljcm

rdxlmd `clmd f{ jr# J dfy` pxlhg`n{ `clmd f{ jr j{# J

blc-r c``b kxjrjkj{n# J blc-r c``b zl rl kln` glla ilx



;9

nz {jc# Kfc zl m`r n` rl f pgfk` li b`gjy`xfck`< J fn

nfb` jc rd` jnfm` fcb gja`c`{{ li Mlb#

Ji Mlb j{ gjyjcm jc n`' Dj{ gly` df{ n`# ]d`c zl dfy`{fr bl}c rlcjmdr fcb zl fr` rdfr mllb kdjka`c bjcc`x

fcb zl dfb {ln` nf{d`b plrfrl`{ }jrd {ln` hrr`x jc jr

fcb zl dfb {ln` p`f{ }jrd jr fcb zl e{r {fr bl}crd`x` fcb zl e{r dfb zlx{`gi f rjn`#

Zl dfb rl b`gjy`x zlx{`gi ixln rd` rfhg`# Zl {fjb rl

zlx{`gi' ‗[`gi e{r m`r p ixln rd` rfhg` h`kf{` jr

bl`{c-r nfa` fcz {`c{` rl `fr gja` rdj{#„ Hr }d`c zl



;=

ijcj{d`b `frjcm rdfr illb' zl fcb rdfr kdjka`c h`kfn`

lc`# ]d`c zl mlr p ixln rd` rfhg`' rd`z bjbc-r {fz‗Zl fcb kdjka`c„ rd`z e{r {fjb ‗Zl#„ Fgg }` klgb

{`` j{ zl# Rd` kdjka`c cl glcm`x `tj{r`b# [l }d`c zl

fcb Mlb h`kfn` lc`' zl fx` cl} jc rd` jnfm` fcb rd`gja`c`{{ li Mlb# Dj{ gly` j{ zl# Dj{ pl}`x j{ zl# Zl

acl} }dfr<

Rd`x` j{ }j{bln ilx `y`xz {jrfrjlc lx kjxkn{rfck` zl

fx` jc h`kf{` Mlb df{ mjy`c zl Dj{ }j{bln {l zl

dfy` acl}g`bm` f{ rl }dfr rl bl jc `y`xz mjy`c {jrfrjlc#

Blc-r }fga fxlcb {fzjcm ‗J blc-r acl} }dfr rl bl# Zl



;4

fgg pxfz ilx n` h`kf{` J-n e{r gl{r# Zl fgg pxfz ilx n`

h`kf{` J e{r kfc-r###„

J h`mjc rl x`gz lc rd` Mlb rdfr-{ jc n` fcb Mlb zl }jgg

mjy` n` bjx`krjlc# Mlb zl }jgg mjy` n` cb`x{rfcbjcm#[ln` li zl c``b rl {rlp gjyjcm jc _jrzyjgg`1 zl-y` h``c

rd`x` glcm `clmd fcb zl x`fggz c``b rl nly`# Zl

x`fggz c``b rl nly`#

Zl dfy` gjy`b jc _jrzyjgg` zl ml rl Ijx{r _jrzyjgg`

Hfprj{r# Zl }lxa fr _jrzyjgg` Jcb{rxjfg K`cr`x fcb fgg

zlx gji` j{ clrdjcm hr pjrz# Ld Glxb' clhlbz gja`{ n`#

Ld Glxb# Zl {``' }d`c zl h`mjc rl x`fgju` rdfr Mlb j{



;:

gjyjcm lc rd` jc{jb`' pjrz fcb Mlb kfc-r b}`gg rlm`rd`x#

_jrz fcb Mlb gjy` rlm`rd`x# Zl acl} }dz< H`kf{`Mlb j{ r`ggjcm zl rdfr J-n gjyjcm jc zl fcb J-n mjyjcm

zl nz elz' J-n mljcm rl mjy` zl nz gly`' J-n mljcm rl

mjy` zl nz }j{bln' nz pl}`x' nz fhjgjrz# G`r n` r`ggzl f gjrrg` hjr fhlr fhjgjrz#



2?

Bjii`x`ck` H`r}``c Fhjgjrz fcb Frdlxjrz

Fhjgjrz j{ bjii`x`cr ixln pl}`x lx frdlxjrz# Rd` }lxb

pl}`x nl{r li rd` rjn` n`fc{ frdlxjrz# Rd` plgjk`nfc

df{ rd` frdlxjrz rl {rlp fcz y`djkg`' hr d` bl`{c-r dfy`rd` fhjgjrz rl {rlp fcz y`djkg`# G`r n` `tpgfjc# H`kf{`

d` df{ frdlxjrz' d` j{ }`fxjcm rdfr hfbm`# ]d`c d`

}fga{ lr jcrl rd` njbbg` li rxfiijk h`kf{` li dj{frdlxjrz' d` hgl}{ rdfr }dj{rg` fcb xfj{`{ dj{ dfcb{ p'

`y`xz y`djkg` {rlp{# Hr d` bl`{ clr dfy` rd` pdz{jkfg

fhjgjrz rl {rlp rdfr y`djkg`# Kfc zl jnfmjc` fcb d` rxj`{

rl pr dj{ dfcb jc ixlcr li fc 64.}d``g`x fcb {rlp jr fcb

p{d jr hfka# Jr-{ clr dfpp`cjcm# Jr-{ e{r clr dfpp`cjcm#



26

[l Mlb clr lcgz mfy` zl rd` frdlxjrz# D` df{ mjy`c

zl rd` fhjgjrz rl hx`fa rd` {pjxjr li xè`krjlc# [l zlc``b rl h`mjc rl {p`fa rl zlx{`gi# Zl c``b rl m`r jc

ixlcr li f njxxlx# J acl} p`lpg` }d`c J {fz rdj{1 rd`z

glla fr n` fcb {fz dd' fx` zl ilx x`fg< Hr J mlr jcixlcr li f njxxlx fcb {fjb' ‗Xlcfgb' Mlb gly`{ zl&

Xlcfgb' zl fx` Mlb-{ h`{r# Xlcfgb' zl fx` rd` fppg` li

Mlb-{ `z`# Xlcfgb' Mlb df{ nfb` zl rd` d`fb fcb clrrd` rfjg' fhly` fcb clr h`c`frd# J e{r {rfxr`b rfgajcm rl

Xlcfgb fcb Xlcfgb h`mfc rl {rxfjmdr`c djn{`gi lr fcb

rdjxrz bfz{ gfr`x' Xlcfgb }f{ lafz' Xlcfgb }f{ b`gjy`x`b#

Rd` {pjxjr li xè`krjlc dfb rl ml# Jr klgbc-r lp`xfr` jc nz

gji` fcznlx` fcb fczrjn`' rd` {pjxjr li xè`krjlc fkr{ gja`



28

jr }fcr{ rl kln` hfka1 J e{r ml hfka rl rd` njxxlx fcb

{rfxr rfgajcm rl Xlcfgb# J {rfxr {p`fajcm rd` ]lxb li Mlbrl Xlcfgb# Xlcfgb' zl fx` fhly` fcb clr h`c`frd' zl

fx` rd` d`fb fcb clr rd` rfjg# Mlb df{ nfb` zl rl h`

yjkrlxjl{# Zl fx` f ajcm fcb zl xg` jc `y`xz{jrfrjlc# ]d`c J h`mjc rl rfga rl nz{`gi fcb {p`fa rd`

}lxb{ li Mlb' Mlb fgjmc{ p lc rd` jc{jb` fcb rd` {pjxjr

li x`e`krjlc kfc-r kln` jc fcb lp`xfr` fcznlx`#

Fn J nfajcm {`c{`< J{ fczhlbz m`rrjcm }dfr J-n {fzjcm<

Bl`{ fczhlbz cb`x{rfcb }d`x` J-n klnjcm ixln<

Rd`x` j{ cl gjnjr li }dfr zl kfc bl# Nfcz li zl dfy`

clr x`fkd`b zlx igg rfg`cr{ fcb fhjgjrj`{ h`kf{` zl



2;

dfy` gjnjr`b zlx{`gi h`kf{` li lrd`x p`lpg`-{ }lxb{#

[ln` li zl dfy` rfg`cr{ ilx pgfzjcm mjrfx' {ln` pgfzjcm pjfcl1 {ln` li zl dfy` {l nfcz bjii`x`cr rfg`cr{# J

x`n`nh`x f }lnfc }dl }f{ f h`frjkjfc' hr {d` dfb

c`y`x h``c rl kl{n`rlglmz {kdllg# Hr {d` j{ b`nfcb`bfgg ly`x rd` }lxgb# [d` bl`{ dfjx ilx pxjck`{{`{ fcb

}ln`c fgg ly`x rd` }lxgb# Fgg {d` bjb {d` fg}fz{ gly`b

rl bl p`lpg`-{ dfjx `y`c ixln kdjgbdllb# [d` rlla d`x fhjgjrz# Mlb-{ fhjgjrj`{' mjir{' fcb rfg`cr{ jc zl kfc nfa`

zl {kk`{{ig# Hr zl dfy` rl {rlp gjyjcm jc pjrz# Zl

dfy` rl {rlp {fzjcm' ‗J kfc-r bl clrdjcm### J blc-r acl}

}dz J-n d`x`#„ Zl dfy` rl kdfcm` rdfr# Zl dfy` mlr

rl {p`fa rl zlx{`gi# ‗J rdfca Mlb# J nfz clr acl} fr



22

rdj{ nln`cr' hr Mlb-{ mljcm rl x`y`fg rl n` nz rfg`cr{

fcb fhjgjrj`{# Mlb-{ mljcm rl x`y`fg rl n` }dl J fn#Mlb-{ mljcm rl nfa` n` d`fb fcb clr rd` rfjg' fhly` fcb

clr h`c`frd# ]d`c zl {rfxr rfgajcm gja` rdfr' nz

mllbc`{{& Rd`x` j{ bjyjc` pxpl{` ilx zl# F nfc mjir}jgg nfa` xlln ilx zl# Zlx mjir }jgg hxjcm zl h`ilx`

nfc# Bl zl fgg x`n`nh`x Blxkf{ }d`c {d` h`mjc{ rl

{`} ilx p`lpg` fcb d`x rfg`cr }f{ {`}jcm fcb nfajcmkglrdjcm ilx p`lpg`< Bl zl fgg x`n`nh`x rdfr jc rd`

hlla li Fkr{< J }fcr zl rl rdjca fhlr rdj{# D`x mjir

fcb rfg`cr }f{ {l mx`fr' jr b`nfcb`b d`x x`{xx`krjlc#

Rd`z kfn` rl _`r`x fcb rd`z {dl}`b _`r`x fgg d`x }lxa'

fgg rdfr {d` bjb' fgg rdfr rd` gly` {d` dfb {dl}c lrd`x



20

p`lpg` hz nfajcm kglrdjcm fcb jr }f{ b`nfcb`b rdfr d`x

x`{xx`krjlc kfn` ilxrd h`kf{` li d`x fhjgjrz# Zlfhjgjrz kfc b`nfcb Mlb rl nly` lc zlx h`dfgi# Zl

fhjgjrz fcb zlx rfg`cr lck` pgfk`b jc rd` dfcb{ li Mlb

kfc nly` Mlb rl nly` jc zlx h`dfgi#



29

_xfz`x ilx B`gjy`xfck`

Cl} g`r n` {fz {ln`rdjcm# J-n fhlr rd` pxfz# J-n mljcm

rl hx`fa rd` {pjxjr li x`e`krjlc jc zlx gji`' hr zl dfy` rl

h`mjc rl {p`fa rl zlx{`gi' rfga rl zlx{`gi# Blc-r rfga rlzlx{`gi c`mfrjy` fcznlx`# Blc-r rfga bl}c rl zlx{`gi

fcznlx`# H` }dl Mlb df{ nfb` zl rl h`# Ifrd`x' jc

rd` cfn` li E`{{' J kln` h`ilx` zl lc rd` h`dfgi li zlx p`lpg` }dl fx` gj{r`cjcm rl n`# J blc-r acl}# Zl

bjbc-r mjy` n` fczlc` {p`kjijk hr J acl} rdj{ n`{{fm`

zl b`fgr }jrd n` }jrd rdj{ n`{{fm` `fxgz rdj{ nlxcjcm#

Ifrd`x' zl {pla` rl n` fcb {fjb rd`x` fx` rdl{` li nz

p`lpg` }dl c``b rl h` b`gjy`x`b ixln rd` {pjxjr li



2=

xè`krjlc {l J {p`fa b`gjy`xfck` rl rd`n xjmdr cl} rdfr

rd`z kln` lr li rdj{ pgfk` li xè`krjlc' rd`z kln` lr li rdj{ pgfk` li dxr' rd`z kln` lr li rdj{ pgfk` li

klcb`ncfrjlc Ifrd`x' xjmdr cl} jc rd` cfn` li E`{{ fcb

Ifrd`x' J {p`fa rl rd`jx {pjxjr# J {p`fa elz fcb J {p`fa rd`gly` fcb rd` pl}`x li Mlb jcrl rd`n xjmdr cl} jc rd`

cfn` li E`{{# Rd`x` j{ {ln`lc`# Zl fx` b`fgjcm }jrd

rdj{ hjrr`x xè`krjlc h`kf{` f p`x{lc y`xz kgl{` rl zlfcb zl c`y`x rlgb' hr f p`x{lc y`xz kgl{` rl zl

nlg`{r`b zl# Rdfr x`fggz dxr zl fcb zl i`gr rdfr zl

}`x` rd` }lx{r p`x{lc rdfr `y`x }f{' hr rd` Ifrd`x j{

{fzjcm fcb Mlb j{ {fzjcm fgrdlmd jr dfpp`c`b' d` z`r

gly`{ zl fcb D` df{ clr xè`kr`b zl fcb D` j{ d`x`



24

rlcjmdr rl d`fg zl# Zl e{r dfy` rl g`r jr ml# Zl fx`

{rjgg dlgbjcm rdfr {jrfrjlc# J fn {``jcm f }lnfc h`jcm{gfpp`b hz d`x ifrd`x fcb {d` c`y`x mlr ly`x jr# Zl

}`x`c-r f gjrrg` mjxg# Zl }`x` fc fbgr fcb {ln`rdjcm

dfpp`c`b fcb zl dfy` c`y`x g`r rdfr ml' hr rd` Ifrd`x {fz{ D` j{ d`x` rl d`fg zl fcb zl c``b rl g`r rdfr ml#

Blc-r fggl} rd` }lxb{ li zlx ifrd`x rl bjkrfr` zlx

irx`# Ifrd`x' J e{r x`g`f{` d`fgjcm cl}# Jr-{ igl}jcmjcrl rd` gji` li zlx p`lpg`# [l }dfr`y`x kjxkn{rfck`{'

}dfr`y`x rd`jx c``b rl ly`xkln`' }dfr`y`x rd`jx c``b rl

kln` fxlcb' Ifrd`x zl fx` bljcm jr cl}' jc rd` cfn` li

E`{{# Ifrd`x' }` fx` mjyjcm mglxz fcb }` fx` mjyjcm zl

dlclx ilx }dfr zl dfy` blc` jc E`{{ cfn`# ]` rdfca



2:

zl ilx rdj{ Ifrd`x# ]` mjy` zl pxfj{` fcb }` mjy` zl

dlclx jc E`{{ cfn`# Rdfca Mlb# Rdfca Mlb# Fn`c#



0?

CLR@[5



06

Lrd`x hlla{ rdfr fx` mjy`c ix``gz ixln _xlpd`r Xlcfgb

Igl}`x{ fx`5

6# Rd` Mglxjl{ Kdxkd

8# Rd` Mglxjl{ Kdxkd rd` _l}`xig Kdxkd;# Blc‚r Mjy` Pp' Blc‚r Mjy` Jc' Blc‚r Mjy` lr

2# Glxb' Lc` Nlx` Njxfkg`

Ji zl }lgb gja` rl acl} dl} rl lhrfjc rd`{` hlla{

pg`f{` `nfjg _xlpd`r Xlcfgb D Igl}`x{ fr5

Xlcfgb\Igl}`x{Odlrnfjg#kln





08

breaking the spirit of rejection

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