brightest night

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Brightest Night  Preface  My enemy, and my mother’s before mine stared at me with her blood red eyes. She tortured me and I was left to wonder what she wanted of our encounter. My blood, my torture, my death, or revenge. I held on to the charm that my mother gave to me, before she knew it was the last time I’d see her. And I let out a ferocious growl, ready to save my brightest night from being frozen over.  Chapter One - Forks  I wake from another nightmare on my birthday, it’s September 10 th again and I’ve always feared that one year I would simply n ot wake from my sleep. I look over my shoulder to see, my love. If that’s what it is called. I’ve never known a love before Jacob, I’d never seen something so concrete and complete. Or pleasant. From the time I first saw him, the day of my birth suddenly he was a friend to me, and over the years, he’s become more. He sacrificed for me a lot when I was young, and he had as little control over our connection than I did possibly less. He saw my mother come to near death as I w as being born, the woman he loved, and he says he came downstairs to love me, though he didn’t know it at the time. Then, his thoughts were focused on killing me for killing my

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Brightest Night 

Preface

 My enemy, and my mother’s before mine stared at me with her blood red eyes.

She tortured me and I was left to wonder what she wanted of our encounter. My

blood, my torture, my death, or revenge. I held on to the charm that my mother 

gave to me, before she knew it was the last time I’d see her. And I let out a

ferocious growl, ready to save my brightest night from being frozen over.

 

Chapter One - Forks 

I wake from another nightmare on my birthday, it’s September 10 th again

and I’ve always feared that one year I would simply not wake from my sleep. I

look over my shoulder to see, my love. If that’s what it is called. I’ve never 

known a love before Jacob, I’d never seen something so concrete and complete.

Or pleasant. From the time I first saw him, the day of my birth suddenly he was a

friend to me, and over the years, he’s become more. He sacrificed for me a lot

when I was young, and he had as little control over our connection than I did

possibly less. He saw my mother come to near death as I was being born, the

woman he loved, and he says he came downstairs to love me, though he didn’t

know it at the time. Then, his thoughts were focused on killing me for killing my

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mother, Bella. Then, suddenly, we were each other’s worlds. We were wholly

and completely dependent on each other.

The next three days, though, were hard; l was without my mother, and my

father, as he was occupied trying to save her through transforming her into one

of the immortal. My father, Edward, is a vampire, as is my mother now, though

she was human while carrying and birthing me. So, my aunt, Rosalie, and

Jacob watched over and cared for me for those initial three days until my mother 

came to consciousness in her new form. However, it was still some time before

she could interact with me as the others did, because for my being half human, I

still have blood, and my mother’s being a newborn put me in danger, or so

thought my everyone else. But, from the first time I saw her, I knew my mother 

was strong. She was . . . special. My mother’s greatest fear of ever becoming a

vampire was being a newborn, completely consumed by her bloodlust, and she

skipped that phase all together.

And then trouble came to haunt my life when my mother, Jacob, and I

were hunting, my mother and I for the animals’ blood – we Cullens are

“vegetarians,” we do not feed on the blood of humans – and Jacob for the animal

in all, for he is a shape-shifter who becomes a wolf at choice, for a long time

confused to be a werewolf. A woman, also a vampire, saw three of us, and took

my obvious being something more than human, for being a forbidden immortal

child. These are vampires stuck in infantry, never aging and always killing. So,

of course she ran off to tell the Volturi, the royal vampires who carry out the law

of our secret world, “Keep the Secret,” which is a broad umbrella that also

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covers, “No Creating Immortal Children.” Irina, the female vampire was soon to

have the Volturi and their entire guard off to kill me, and all my family. The next

months I was to think that all the trouble was my fault, but no, the Volturi were

 just waiting for an excuse to extinguish my large and powerful family. So,

Carlisle, Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett set out to find witnesses while my mother,

father, Jacob and I stayed home to tell these witnesses the story, and though I

advanced very quickly and could talk at 3 months of age, I communicated

through a special ability of mine to share mental images and thoughts through

touch. Some of these witnesses agreed they would fight with us, if it came to

that. Others thought us insane, if it is at all possible for a vampire to go insane at

all.

However, once the Volturi forces arrived my mother was able to prevent a

fight for some time with her gift of shielding a mental attack, which would

handicap the Volturi and block their strongest offensive maneuvers. Alice, my

other aunt, though, soon arrived with another like me, Nahuel, whom I learned a

lot about myself from, like that I’d stop aging seven years later, when I appeared

to be approximately 16 years old. Though, now I prepare for my 116th birthday, a

woman who looks 100 years younger than she really is, it’s what every human

female wants, isn’t it? My family has come back to Forks, Washington, everyone

they have once known here is now gone, including my grandfather, Charlie, who

died long ago. Jacob, like the rest of us, hasn’t been here in a long time and is

anxious to re-visit La Push, he has gone into wolf form often enough to have not

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aged, but he does not know if the same is true for his former pack brothers, and

sister.

My heart races at the thought of Leah Clearwater, as it always does when

I get jealous. Of course though, my never-sleeping family of super-hearing

vampires hears this development and rush to my bedroom.

“What’s wrong, Nessie?” calls my aunt, Rose, and my mother glares at her 

for the nickname that she absolutely detests.

“I’m fine, really. I was just thinking that’s all.” Jacob stirred and awoke

then. It was now time for the first day of school we all supposed. Carlisle would

be going off to the hospital in just two hours, and Alice had forecast that it would

be a very cloudy day, so we’ll all be off to Forks High School, except for Jacob,

who will be going to the reservation to make sure our visit isn’t fought against by

any wolves who have forgotten the treaty that promises peace. My mother and

father, are the last to my room, seconds behind the others, as they were in the

cottage, and my room is on the third story, where my father’s room was, before I

was born. Their golden eyes reflect the choice that we’ve all made to spare the

lives of humans. Of course, then along comes Alice, my mother’s sister in-law,

my aunt, my erratic, over the top, always-dancing, beautiful vampire aunt

carrying a pile of clothes designated for everyone, based on the activities that

we’ll find ourselves engaged in later today, she’d know better than any of us.

“Here, Nessie. Bella. Edward. Carlisle. Esme. Emmett. Rosalie.

Jasper. Jacob.”

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“You mean mutt,” accused Rosalie. She never took a liking for Jacob, for 

reasons I never found. My dad sighed then, probably reading my mind. So,

really, not much of my family approves of my loving a werewolf. I would never 

dare say this, and try my hardest not to think it, especially not around my father,

but it’s a little hypocritical. I mean, my mother had loved a werewolf, the same

werewolf that I do even.

“So much better…” my dad whispered then. Only I knew what he meant,

that I could do so much better… But, I don’t want “so much better” and I need

Jacob. My sunny moon. My brightest night.

“Let’s go then, just a quick hunting trip before school couldn’t hurt us any,”

added Jasper, he still struggles with “vegetarian” life centuries after being

initiated into the lifestyle.

“A little fun before the tedium, I’d say.”

“Of course you’re up for it, Emmett,” said mom, who doesn’t feel like

hunting obviously. Though, we all did go. There has been a scarce amount of 

elk, though.

 

It was lunchtime in the Forks High School auditorium that we smelled

them. All of their noses flared then wrinkled, mine was fine, because of not being

wholly vampire, the smell doesn’t offend me.

“Who invited the dogs to lunch?”

“Since when do they come to school in town, weren’t they supposed to

stay on the reservation?”

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“Leah thinks that you’ve all killed Jake, and now I see that you’ve also

created another one of you,” at this Seth pointed a gaze toward me. But I was

barely paying attention after the mention of Leah, Leah who apparently so cared

for Jake’s vengeance that she’d set out on a 100 plus year bounty to kill the

vampires. How many generations of werewolf were under her leadership?

“It’s not just the wolves, the entire tribe considers Seth and Leah their 

immortal kings. Their gods,” dad answered my unspoken question. Now my jaw

dropped. Leah, a goddess? Whatever. Then I sighed for being so petty and I

reached out to touch Seth. Immediately he retracted, then relaxed, then excited.

“Oh! Renesmee! It’s you! You’re not another vampire, well where’s

Jake?”

“He was supposed to be going to La Push to ensure the treaty is still in

tact. What are you doing here?”

“Well, once the Cullens left there had to be some to protect the Forks

humans from local vampires, so we come up every now and then to make sure

no one’s been drained,” he said joking, but accusatively at the same time, “Well,

good you’re all back. Especially Jake, now maybe Leah will bring our other 

wolves back so we can be a pack again, she’s been sending out generations of 

wolf packs to find you ever since you left.”

“Local vampires?” That was my question too, Dad, I thought.

“Oh yeah. Werewolves – I mean shape-shifters,” he added with a smile

and my dad grinned too, “Aren’t the only things out there looking for you.”

“Have we really been so hard to find?” asked my mother, Bella.

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“Bells? Yeah. You guys are really low key about wherever you’re moving

to over time, and you take planes, it’s pretty hard tracking by smell through the

air.”

“What kind of vampires have been hunting down the Cullen clan, though?”

asked Emmett, intrigued.

“Oh, don’t worry Emmett, if they find you, you’ll get your fight,” ensured

Seth, “Stefan and Vladimir, the Romanian vampires have been looking for you.

They’re planning a war, they think it’s time to take down the Volturi.”

 

After school we headed for the Quileute reservation to talk to Leah and

make sense of this mess. I was only excited to see Jacob. Seth saw that the

wolves, whom have all been 16 for ten years now, well, emotionally and mentally

anyway, about 25 for ten years physically. Chris, one of the youngest of the

wolves seemed to find an interest in us similar to a child to an animal it’d always

been taught was dangerous. Especially when it came to Rosalie, a pretty (and

vicious) vampire that is not so reserved to hide her distaste for werewolves at all.

 

Chapter Three – Surprise

“Nessie, relax. You have nothing to worry about when it comes to Leah.

If anyone were to fear her it’d be your mother. They never did take a liking to

each other,” laughed Aunt Alice. Uncle Jas had told her of my emotional climate

apparently. “I know the others don’t approve of Jake in that he smells and is

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occasionally rude,” her bell chime voice giggles again without the awkward

brokenness that a normal human does, “but he does love you with all his heart,

Nessie. We understand that. Your mother and father should more than anyone

else I thought.” There was silence after this. We were within earshot of the

others now, though of course Dad had still heard the entire conversation through

our heads, but still, no need for everyone else to hear.

We as a smoothly gliding bunch crossed in front of what used to be the

Swan residence to wait for the wolves, which were indeed near, we could smell

them. A little blonde boy poked his head through the curtains on the second

level. I saw that it was my mom’s old room he was in. I tried to remember his

name; although he was small he was actually our age. Or, rather the age we

were pretending to be, and thus also attended Forks High School. My father 

chuckled, “His name is Chuck. Chuck Wilder. He’s been trying to work up the

nerve to talk to you all day. He’s debating whether he should come out now,

Nessie.” I sighed and frowned at the news. I’ve got an admirer? That’s

splendid.

“Well, Nessie. I’m sure Jacob would have to worry about him more than

you about Leah,” added Mom from behind me. I thought she was joking but she

was not. She was looking at me as if she thought she’d suddenly develop a mind

reading gift. Like she wanted to know every thought I’d ever had. It was the look

she gave me that reminded me how much she cared and how much she loved

me as I loved her. Suddenly Aunt Alice gasped in surprise from her new vision

and stared wide-eyed at my father.

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“They’re coming,” he announced, I shrugged it off knowing he meant the

wolves, “They want us to fight.” Now this caught my attention, why would the

wolves want us to fight? Then miles away, I searched for the scent that my

family’s must stronger full vampire noses had already caught. I smelled the

sweet scent of a vampire, but this scent was odd in a way. I searched harder 

and a dangerous sense of recognition fell upon me. Stefan and Alistair had

arrived.

We all ran to meet them. All fearing what they would ask of us. We knew

already, of course. They wanted us to fight the Volturi, but we would not. Would

we? Of course not, I can’t imagine, a suicide mission, it would be. Unless of 

course -- my thoughts veered as I caught the scents of many more less familiar 

vampires – they had brought, drafted soldiers, new borns.

 

Chapter Four – War

“No,” growled my dad before the two leaders, Stefan and Vladimir, had

begun to talk. This was not a surprise in that his response was no, but that he

said it so fiercely, so menacingly.

“Oh, now. It’s not as if we’ve asked for your whole family, Edward,”

replied Stefan.

“We’d never do that,” chimed in Vladimir. Oh, fantastic, they still like to

finish each other’s sentences. Still, as annoying as that may be, another thing

that hasn’t come to change is their fragile looking skin, how fascinating. I wonder 

if this effect of staying in one place for so long is reversible.

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“What do they want, Edward?” asked my grandfather Carlisle with an

urgency.

“A portion of our family -- Jacob, Bella, me, Alice, and Jasper, and of 

course if we don’t supply, we’ll be the victims after they’re done with the Volturi.”

“You must do this. You must fight with us.”

“If not for freedom from the Volturi, for the safety of the rest of your 

family.” I was not paying attention to who spoke the words, it was all a

ringing in my head, these – these – vampires wanted to take my family from me!

My father, my mother, my aunt, my uncle, my love…

“Its okay, Renesmee, they won’t be getting to any of us, anyway. Come,”

said my father addressing my family to leave the Romanian clan behind us. I

began to turn, but my mother seemed torn.

“Bella, please,” yearned my father. I could see the force my mother was

using to push her mental shield away from her head so that my father could read

her thoughts. He gasped when he heard what she was thinking and she turned

to the Romanians and said just this, let’s make a deal.

 

My mom, dad, aunt and uncle left then. No one knew if they’d come back

and my heart wrenched with the thought of my coming torture, I had to send

Jacob after them.

Aunt Rosalie, Uncle Emmett, Grandpa Carlisle, and I awaited our wolfy

escorts to La Push as Grandma Esme sat at home, unaware that when we

returned, it would be without half of our family. Then, the wolves approach could

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be heard from the little woodsy area to our right. Seth Clearwater, Chris – the

young wolf, - and three other wolves that we’d never met before emerged. All of 

their noses wrinkled and all but Seth were shaking, not quite violently, I could see

they’d been warned of how many of us there would be, or rather how many of us

there should have been. Jacob followed this group with a confused look on his

face and I cried. I cried miserably.

Aunt Rosalie comforted me; I could see that she felt sorrow for me with a

slight pang of jealousy. All of my family had this feeling when I cried. Every one

of them, as long as they could still have their partner wishes they could cry as

Jacob and I could. Jacob looked at my tears and a look of terrible pain was on

his face, it only made me cry more.

“Nessie. What’s wrong with you?” I ignored the thoughtlessness that

went into the question.

“You have to go,” I sobbed. Then I sat there, there was a cloud over 

everything. I shut down the sharpness of my senses so I couldn’t feel the hurt. I

could barely here the words being passed between the wolves and the remnants

of my family. Some phrases broke through the black numbness, like “she made

a deal with them,” “new borns?” “just the gifted,” “join them,” “Wait. What kind

of deal?” and “friends.” I cry more, my mother was stupid, that was a stupid deal

to make, as if it would ever work.

When the cloudiness was finally fading, my Brightest Night was on the trail for my

family. I sat there in front of the former Swan residence and sobbed more, my

patient family looked on. When you live forever, patience is easy to come by.

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That’s when Chuck Wilder decided to come outside and talk to me.

 

Chapter Five – Remember

Something very strange occurred when Chuck Wilder came outside to talk

to me, suddenly a light came on and my head went awhirl. A sudden powerful

urge came over me; it was not a thirst but a hunger just as powerful. It was like

an electric pulse beating through him to me. I wanted nothing more than to touch

him.

“Hey, are you okay? You seem kind of sick or something,” he said to

me. This small town human made me so desperate to be his friends it was

almost criminal. He was a good person, I could see. Though, this terrified me.

Knowing that he was a good person was bad. I knew that this was going to

become something, but as much as I wanted it to, I hated the idea. I was in love,

intensely, desperately in love with Jacob Black, my Jake.

“I’m totally okay now, thank you.” In those words, made my first ever 

human friend.

 

Chuck and I talked, something weird for me, I was not used to having to

move my mouth to talk. It was always a simple matter of touching someone for 

me to talk before. My family didn’t seem to mind, they just sat still patient, except

of course for Aunt Rosalie, she was smug. Chuck and I talked for an hour, with

meaningless light chatter, it was lighthearted and funny. It was like the years

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between my early years in Forks and now. Chuck brought the human side of me

out. Suddenly I wasn’t the creature of gothic novels but a human.

“I noticed you earlier; you’re whole family, actually. It’s not often we get

new students here at Forks High School.”

“I’d imagine. So small town here, I really like it, though. My dad, over 

there is working at the hospital. So, my brothers and sisters get to enjoy the

easiness of the simple life.”

“So you like it? That’s good. What about the rain, though? I heard your 

family moved here from Nevada.”

“Yes,” I do remember that being our cover story, “the rain is definitely

something to get used to, but, I can tell that there’s something special about

Forks.”

“I hope you’ll like it, you and your whole family. You should come sit with

me and my friends at lunch.”

“Well, that’s really nice of you, but, my brothers and sisters aren’t very

social .”

“Really?” I could almost hear his thoughts in that one word, the Cullens

aren’t social? Yeah right they’re all these statuesquely beautiful people who can

outsmart the entire teaching faculty. Unsocial, yeah right.

“Yeah. But, I’d love to sit with you,” came out of my mouth without me

thinking. It was just the strange impulsive human side of me.

“Great!” he said elated. So, I grinned at him and looked back at my family,

all three of the remaining Cullen clan were staring at me skeptically.

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I looked back at Chuck, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” A promise that I truly

intended to keep, one I’d never made to any human before in my 116 years.

 

Once home, Aunt Rosalie went toward the piano and played a familiar 

song, Esme’s favorite. I grinned and went upstairs and awaited the moment

when the rest of my family would begin to break it to my grandmother that more

than half of her family had gone. I would join them and cry with her, she would

cradle me in my sleep as her silent and tearless sobs ran in time with mine.

First though, my eyes fell on something brownish-russet. I crossed my

room and looked at the small figurine atop the bed I share with Jacob. There

were actually three things, one was a small wooden wolf charm for a bracelet,

another was a wrought-iron rose that seemed to be made of the exact same

material as my bed post, the third item was a note.

 

Renesmee, keep these things and always remember us,

I know that the deal I made doesn’t make much sense now, but it will make things better 

This wolf charm was given to me by Jacob, years ago, over a century ago

The rose came from your father 

Within the envelope you should see a crushed lilac, let the scent remind you of me, Sweet Nessie

~Your mother, Bella

 

I checked the envelope that held the note, and of course there was a lilac

inside, a very pretty flower. I sighed and lay these items on the bed then went

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downstairs to join the rest of my family as I heard Grandma Esme say, “That was

beautiful, Rosalie, but what is this all about?”

It was a long night and as I figured things would happen, I fell asleep

cuddling with my grandmother as my tears fell and her tearless sobs made the

room dark with the cloud of earlier that day. The next day, however I knew the

cloud would be gone because I would see Chuck Wilder, whom my dreams that

night were about. Pleasant dreams, the kind of dreams a human should have, a

dream of an anticipation for the coming day; rather than a dread.

 

Chuck and I became inseparable, I often went to his house as he and I

would do homework, or rather I did his for him considering the advancement of 

my knowledge. We would talk about things and laugh and be normal, it was a

dream, suddenly I realized that I was special not for just being the only remaining

hybrid, but because I could lead two lives. At school I stopped sitting by my

family and sat by my new friends; Chuck, Arianna, Lauren, Matthew, Hector, and

Nicole. It was great sitting with humans, but, I could see my comfort with

humans brought unease to my aunt; she seemed to get mad at me whenever I

sat with the humans. She later told me it was because she wished she could sit

with humans, but some part of me didn’t care how she felt about it, part of me

wanted me to stay away from her.

As I sat with my human friends, the human part of me became stronger, I didn’t

care. My instincts, the ones my mother lacked, told me to stay away from the

vampires – my family, without me ever knowing why. I became more

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comfortable talking and began to stop using my gift. It’d been a week and I was

struggling to remember what it felt like to live in secret, to remember what the

vampire side of me was like. I began eating human food and stopped hunting

with my remaining family; I was losing half of myself as I lost half of them.

 

Chapter Six – Almost Human

Over the weeks, Chuck, Arianna, Lauren, Matthew, Hector, Nicole and I

became Forks High School’s most popular. It was strange, popularity – because

at every school before this I was surrounded by family, which humans

instinctively – and to them inexplicably – shy away from the incognito full

vampires. I liked being popular; there was a sense of control over everyone and

I was – in a way – like my aunt, Rosalie, very shallow and addicted to the

attention. Over most weekends I spent the night with Lauren, as she was the

nicest – and wasn’t convinced that I’d stolen her boyfriend as Nicole was certain

I’d taken her Matthew and Arianna her Hector. Lauren was quiet – she didn’t like

to talk much, in a way like me; except she didn’t have a simpler, more thorough

means of communication. Some nights we would talk of boys, sometimes about

homework, or even family. Lauren and I were very personal with each other –

except of course for the secret I could never tell her because of the vampire law,

“Keep the secret.” I recalled the night I’d almost slipped –

We were wide awake in Lauren’s pink room with the purple bedrolls under us

looking up at her ceiling. This night Arianna was in our company. It was fine,

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she carried the conversation and Lauren and I commented at the appropriate

times.

“So, I’ve been thinking about spring fling. I wonder what I’m going to wear, my

mom took me to Port Angeles last week, but it was all – all – small town,”  at this

I laughed, was she not small town herself? “What’s so funny, Ness?”

“Oh nothing. I was just being giggly.”

“Oh well, anyway, I saw a very pretty dark blue silk dress in Bazaar®, but I’m not

sure it’s the one, you know? I might make my daddy get it for me, though,”

Arianna grinned thinking she was about to get another chance to brag of her 

family’s wealth again – which she’d found was only trumped by that of mine.

Lauren saw it coming, rolled her eyes and changed the subject very subtly – well,

not quite so subtle as intriguing, in a way that captured Arianna that made her 

think she was getting gossip.

“Renesmme, can I ask you a question?” Lauren asked me unsure of herself.

Arianna’s ears poked up in anticipation.

“Sure, Lauren, what do want to know?” I was wondering what the question would

be – and if it was too terrible I would lie.

“How did you get your name?” I was surprised at the question. This was simple

to answer.

“It’s a family name.”

“Really? That’s cool, Chuck has a family name too, I think,” I could see she was

struggling for something to talk about that would keep Arianna quiet. As she did,

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Arianna smiled to see my response to Chuck’s name – apparently everyone

knew of his affection.

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, actually, I think he’s named after his grandpa, Chuck Newton,” I was

shocked, you could not see from the outside, but this was exciting news to me. I

knew of Chuck Newton – after my birth my family stayed in Forks for some years

in secret except from my Grandpa Charlie and the wolves. And Forks being so

small of course Charlie knew when Mike Newton and Jessica Webber married

and had a baby, Chuck Newton. My mother knew Chuck’s great-grandmother 

and great-grandfather! I was about to mention this fact, then I remembered that

it would be – odd if my mother were so old; I’d almost given away the knowledge

of my family’s immortality.

“Hm,” I murmured instead impassively. That was the end of conversation for the

night as Arianna was annoyed with the gossip-missing discussion and was just

fumbling with her music player. Lauren had seen this and was satisfied with this

and rolled on to her back to sleep. The rest of the night was uneventful.

 

Chapter Seven – Awakened

It’d been three months since half of my family left. Three months of no

word, and then Aunt Alice and Uncle Jasper arrived. I could not believe the relief 

I felt on that day, it was a sunny day and I decided to stay home as the rest of my

family would have. I’d gone three months only noticing the lack of cloudiness

thanks to my human friends, however I did not notice until some of my missing

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family had returned that I was lacking anything. It was as if half of me was

asleep. My vampire side and it was aching to be awakened.

“Aunt Alice,” I jumped excitedly as my aunt danced her way to the house, I met

her halfway in three seconds, and yelled more, “you’re back! You’re finally

back!” I was in awe, could it be possible that she was more beautiful. No, I

supposed not, but it seemed so, how I’d missed her. It was only minutes before I

noticed a pain in my re-awakened vampire awareness. Uncle Jasper noticed my

anxiety and braced himself.

“Calm down, Nessie, Alice will explain,” he looked at me with his pained

intensity.

“You’ve noticed,” my aunt Alice said with sympathy in her chiming voice, “Don’t

worry. You’re mother and father will be here in perhaps a week.”

“A week?”

“Yes, you’re mother and father are – on a search, Jasper and I decided to

abandon the search and rejoin you,” she smiled at me. I didn’t smile back, my

mind made the connection – the connection she tried to leave out. She did not

mention Jacob. My mother and father were on a search. My mother and father 

were on a search for my Jake. My Jake – my Brightest Night, he was in danger.

A growl rolled out of me. Someone took my love. My reason.

 

Chapter Eight – Denial

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I accepted nothing of what Aunt Alice said as the truth. It was impossible for any

of it to be real. This was a terrible fantasy, a nightmare, a horror. There was no

way that my surreally beautiful life had come to a madness so great.

“No,” I snarled after my growl.

“Renesmee,” Jasper and Carlisle said at once, Carlisle in a calming assuring

tone, and Jasper using his gift for calming, though at the same time Jasper was

in his defensive crouch guarding Alice, which alarmed me to find that I was the

only danger. I didn’t care, I let that vampire out of me and demanded to know the

rest.

“Renesmee, calm down, Jacob, yes, has gone missing, but we know who he is

with. I’ll explain everything,” claimed Aunt Alice, calming me, “We won the war,

the Romanian vampires and we who helped them, the Volturi is out of power and

dead, as well as the most of their guard. Once the war was coming to a close

though, one of their guard members made a run for it though and Jacob noticed,

ran after her, not recognizing she had a gift and when he caught up, she

captured him – as she made him unable to defend himself. It was a hopeless

fight really. In the fight, our two phones were destroyed; we’d only brought two

phones, you know. So, for the two months that we were following after Jane –

the vampire who kidnapped Jake – we could not contact you until we were in

Canada, when Jasper and I decided to come with you.” I was infuriated!

“You did what? You should have stayed! Your visions would have helped, now

my mom and dad are lost and we’ll never know if they’re okay!”

“Oh yes we will, I’m watching them, Nessie. Calm down.”

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“I will not calm down! You should be out there, watching for Jane, protecting

Jake, with them. Your visions can help them.”

“No, they can’t, Jane is acting on impulse, not choice, I can hardly see before

she’s changing paths again. My gift was no help tracking her.”

After all this Aunt Rosalie stalked over to us in her graceful way. Well, to Alice,

right past me – almost through me. Aunt Alice noticed this and her brow

furrowed. “You’ll have to tell me what I’ve been absent for, you all,” she said

softly, knowing we would all here. I could tell that Aunt Rosalie had probably

decided to write down what her problem was so that Aunt Alice would see it in

her vision. “Aaw, I understand,” she nodded, glancing at me for a second.

“I’ll go find Edward and Bella, I don’t feel much in the mood for home anymore.

Emmett of course will come with me, right?” Uncle Emmett looked up at Aunt

Rosalie, in this moment quite serious as he rarely is.

“Of course.” I glided up to my room and found the stray disk of Claude Debussy

compositions including Clair de Lune and turn it on. I cry to the sounds of the

song that built a connection between my father and mother as I consider never 

finding my love again. The most horrific idea I’d ever known.

 

Chapter Nine – Life Story

I think Claude Debussy read my life story in the pages of his mind, I think

he read it and wrote it down in music through Clair de Lune. Why? It’s all there,

my life was a beautifully gradually moving “don’t rock the boat” piece for a long

time, and all of the beauty of it was natural and routine. It was special, yes, it

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was perfect, most of the time, but for me – that was normal. Then, the rhythm

was disturbed by just one little thing. What was that one little not that changed

the mood of the song? Suddenly the dancer to the song was no longer floating

on the placid beautiful sparkling water, but storming through it. She was trying to

find her dance again, and then she did. Eventually, but that dance was not so

beautiful anymore. It was a new steady rhythm. One that she’d never known but

immediately felt natural, then once that original normal beauty finally seemed to

be coming back. The storm returned, just momentarily until a more amazing

beauty than what’d ever been seen before ended the song. So, what is Clair de

Lune but my life story. I listened to it for hours.

I wanted to just be in that moment in that final beautiful moment, but I knew it

would be long before I got there. I lay there imagining beauty and only a face of 

an angel came to mind, it was the face that Clair de Lune brought to me, it was

the face that life brought to me, it was the face of love. It was Jacob. My Jacob.

In this moment I did not want to be Renesmee Carlie Cullen anymore, suddenly I

wanted nothing more than to not be. I wanted to be his. I wanted to belong to

the rusted heat of his skin. I wanted the dark of his eyes to arrest and own me. I

wanted to be surrounded in fire, a fire more intense warm comfortable and

beautiful than being changed from human to vampire. I wanted a fire more loving

close heated and overwhelming than being burned to death as a vampire. I

wanted to be Mrs. Renesmee Black more than anything. I wanted to belong to

him – but now, he was gone.

 

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Chapter Ten – Decisions

The trick to getting around Aunt Alice’s visions is to act as soon as you think of 

the idea and pray to any god a vampire may have that you can be faster than

her. Then of course it helps if she can barely see you in her visions of course. I

grabbed the wooden charm, the wrought iron rose, and the lilac off my bed and

  jumped out the window. I’d never done such a thing and the rocks looked

terrifyingly sharp, I didn’t mind, I ran. I ran straight for the trees and didn’t turn

around at the sound of pursuit. I would not wait for my parents to bring me the

bad news, I would find Jane. I would hunt her down and if she hurt Jacob, she

would kill me with him.

No, I would not let this Jane lay a finger on Jacob. Then, suddenly, a memory

came forward to me. No, Jane would not have to lay a finger on Jacob, she had

all she needed to hurt him in her mind; she could burn him mentally. She could

send him straight to hell as he stood in one place in agony. He’d be rendered in

the most painful state possible. The only way to stop this from happening is

using a mental shield, a mental shield like my mother… That’s why I

remembered, this Jane – she was an enemy of my mother’s – as my mother was

the only one ever capable of keeping Jane out and ensuring that she could not

hurt those she loved surrounding her. Jane of course did not like my mother for 

this, and now, perhaps seeing the best friend connection my mother had with him

decided to have Jacob – I assume. Jane could not have known the connection

between Jacob and I -- could she?

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Once I was far into the forest I began to think, to concentrate on that pull I always

feel. It’s an odd feeling, I don’t believe others feel it, but I have since I was born.

It was a pull that directed me towards life. Pull me toward a bright moon, a bright

night. My Brightest Night, it led me there, it was always there. It was like a life

source, like it bound me with an essentiality stronger than gravity, but very

similar. This pull led me to the north east, I followed it, this is where my Brightest

Night would be, my Jacob. I shoved the flower, fake rose, and wooden charm

into my pocket as I ran, it’d been a week since I last hunted and I’d hunt again

soon as I knew I needed all my strength to defeat – or at all compete with –

Jane. I growled in anticipation to find my love even though it might kill me. I was

in desperation. Life had been a dream except for when it was a nightmare, and I

was prepared to die to let part of that dream survive me.

I was aware that no one was following me, I wondered why. Perhaps Aunt Alice

had seen where my decision would lead me. If she had no one pursuing me then

it must have been good and I leaned into my already perilously fast run to pick up

pace. I would find my Brightest Night, I was sure of it.

 

Chapter Eleven – Extraordinary

I would never claim to be a tracker. Of course not, except for in the case of 

Jacob. I would always know exactly how to get to him; it was an affect of his

imprinting on me. It was something anyone who is part of an imprinting equation

would experience, an allusive pull to your other half. No – not other half, for it’s

more than that – your soul mate, your universe. Yes, Jacob Black was my all. In

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the six days it took to reach him, I slept with dreams completely consumed by his

image. In my mind, under the cover of the night, I would memorize every plane

and tone of his face. There was nothing more perfect in the world, nothing more

wonderful than my fire. Every time that I thought this it made me smile;

something was pleasing about thinking, my fire. He is mine, I would think. I

imagined the way he talked; the rough and tired sound of his voice – and realized

how every imperfection made him so perfect. He was the only fiery moon in

existence, it made him so special. It made him extraordinary.

One night as I lay under the stars, I allowed my mind to wander off about trivial

things, though. Trivial things that hurt me terribly, that confused me so deeply

that I could not understand meaning anymore. I’ve never had a choice, I realized

on this night. It was something I wouldn’t have thought about if I’d stayed on

more harmful topics. Why did I have to wonder off in my thoughts about school?

It would have been fine to wander about the coming danger – my possible

death. I was thinking about a project that I would miss in English, it was to be

about the contemporary ideas of King Lear from William Shakespeare. I was

thinking about . . . Chuck.

Mr. Beckson will be disappointed that I’ll miss my presentation. I’m sure he’ll 

miss my opinion – considering I’m far older and more advanced than he is in

several topics – including English, but of course he wouldn’t know that. Though,

I’m sure Chuck will do a suitable job of delivering our oral report. Perhaps he’ll 

do even a better job of the public speaking than I would have – as I am still not 

quite accustomed to the constant attention of humans or talking much. He’ll 

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 probably just make something up instead of use the speech outline, I can

imagine it now, “It’s a classic case of paranoia! I mean come on everyone thinks

that people are out to hack them up for money at some point! It’s a theme that 

transcends time,” the whole class would laugh; it would be so true and so funny.

 All at once, so like Chuck. He’s witty and so very smart. It’s one of the reasons

we get along so well, no he may not be as smart as me – but he makes up for 

that with his clever jokes. He can always make you laugh. I realized that in a

way he was unlike Jacob in an almost equally remarkable way.

I spent the night remembering how Jacob was wild and fun, but never seemed to

take things seriously. I spent that same time comparing it to how Chuck could

 joke but be serious about something as well. I found myself so in love with both

of them, the mystery and fantasy that has been my whole life with Jacob Black

was still the love in my heart I never chose, that I never decided on. I considered

what it would be like to choose my life, what it would be like to be your average

human – wrapped in the arms of Chuck Wilder as he made me giggle – giggle?!

I’d never done such a thing – and what it was like to be trying to save the life of 

my werewolf soul mate, the vampire and human halves of me warred again, as I

laid there risking my life to save one love I realized I never had a choice between

natural and supernatural and considered what the difference between the two

lives I could have led was. I would be strong enough to save Jacob – but would

he be strong enough to accept any choice I made as I realized there was ever a

choice to begin with. Chuck Wilder saved me and he only deserved me for that,

he brought me out of a haze and welcomed me to humanity – my dreams

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compared two faces now, both alike in beauty for different reasons – one natural,

one magical; one eternal and one for a lifetime.

No longer did I memorize the face of Jacob Black; no longer was I so wrapped in

the warmth of his strong fiery arms. Now I was memorizing two faces. Two

loves, confused by the two contrasting temperatures; I struggled to come to the

surface of my drowning love; I was overcome by a need to be with them – to be

not Renesmee Carlie Cullen, but Renesmee Black and Renesmee Wilder. Yes,

indeed I would find my Jacob, my Bright Night, but I would fear not Jane – the

decision I would have to make clear to him. I would choose a human life;

because that is the beauty of a choice.

 

Chapter Twelve – Tradition

I thought of the decision I’d made the night before as I was on the final leg of my

trip to meeting Jane and finding Jacob. I knew I would not sway from this

decision – to be stubborn was in my veins; my father, my mother they were both

quite stubborn. I still loved Jacob, as I always would, this I could not help it was

a supernatural bond that no one had ever broken before me but -- though he

would forever be my Brightest Night – he would no longer be mine. Perhaps this

would become a family tradition, I mean hurting Jacob to keep a love far less

natural but all the more appealing and full. I never had a choice in Jacob, did I?

I cried for the most of that day, even as I pummeled the moose that would

replenish my strength for the day.

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I heard the rough but light rubbing of antlers against a Maple tree and knew I’d

found my prey, perhaps just a half-mile to the northwest; it’d be just a slight bit off 

course to my destination. I pounded my way across the terrain – running no

more than two minutes to reach the trees by the small clearing where the moose

drank water from a small pond. Quickly and silently I climbed the tree as a

breeze blew in, as to hide my threatening scent from the animal – not that mine

would strike so much fear as that of my full vampire family, it was just habit. It’s

scent was washed up to me and the smell of fresh warm blood made me

ravenous, as I pounced from a branch and smashed the moose flat, my mouth

searched gracefully for the strongest concentration of blood; suddenly naturally a

warm liquid rushed down my throat soothing the dry ache there.

 

Chapter Thirteen – Arrival

I grabbed the wolf chain out of my pocket once I was done quenching the thirst I

had and replenishing my strength. I gripped it with a strength that surprisingly did

not crush it into a fine wood powder. It took me a whole six days to get here; I

was in a densely populated town. Vancouver, Canada.

This place has a small abandoned warehouse that no one ever visits or checks

for its vacancy; here it is always dark, no sun reaches within the walls of this

warehouse at all. The homeless used to use this place as a joint home, trading

random rare belongings for drugs. These people did this for years until just

recently – 2 days ago to be exact. The day that a very beautiful short-haired

young – or young in as sense, anyway – woman appeared and convinced them

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quite assertively to leave. Her name was Jane, she had a man with him, she

was carrying him and he seamed to be tortured. He was cursing and practically

yelling, he was shaking all over and sweating you could see he was hurting, none

of us wanted to get sick with whatever that boy had, so they all left.

So Lance, a homeless man told me, he had been very close to the warehouse

that I felt the pull toward. So, I asked him, “Do you see that building over there?

What can you tell me about it?” He took his time telling me, probably figuring

whether I was a cop or not, I was not sure. Then, Lance told me all this. So,

yes, Jane was there and yes she’d just arrived so my parents were probably not

very close, and Jacob, as I knew he would be, was there. I clutched the charm

even tighter as I faced the dark blue warehouse on the corner. I knew what I had

to do. I breathed to deep breaths then turned to Lance.

“Thank you, Lance. Perhaps we’ll meet again, someday,” I smiled at him politely.

“No problem, Lady. You might not want to go in there alone though, you’re pretty

young, no tellin’ what’d happen to you if you got sick,” he grinned, obviously

pleased that I’d smiled at him. His smile was made up of just nine teeth but this

didn’t bother me, it made me sympathetic for him.

“No, I know exactly who he is and what he is sick with. Good bye, Lance.” Look

at me, making friends with humans before I race to my death. I smiled and

waved at him as I ran off.

 

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Once within the walls of the warehouse I knew pain was coming, it was the most

ominous setting I’d ever come across. I hated it; I hated being in the dark and I

hated knowing that hurt was about to come and I couldn’t not face it. Of course

Jane growled at me, to her I would smell like a human that’s simply been to close

to a vampire. She would think me her prey.

So, I growled back, just to let her know what she was messing with.

 

Chapter Fourteen – To Die

Jane stopped her growling immediately, soon a light was on and she glided

toward me. I saw a faint red in her eye, though it was so subtle that a human

would think her eyes were onyx. Oh to joy, Jane was thirsty. I was sure she saw

them, when she looked at me – everyone that’d ever met my mother before she

was a vampire saw my eyes, the very eyes that used to be hers. The vampire

blinked in surprise.

“The hybrid…” The hybrid? I’d never heard the Volturi’s name for me.

Apparently though, because of my vampire-human being I was the hybrid to

them. That was interesting.

“My name is Renesmee actually, Jane. Have you forgotten so soon? It’s only

been say – 115 years? Give or take a month or two.” She growled ferociously at

me, but I heard another growl, one of warning, not directed at me but toward her.

Jacob.

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“Jake.” I was immediately distracted, I lost all concentration. Jane took the

chance to pounce at me, immediately I was at the wall of the warehouse, I would

not let her win.

I noticed then that Jacob was in wolf form, if it was so, why was he still here?

The big mound of fur leaped across floor and onto Jane, immediately his teeth

were dangerously close to her neck. She would not forget her gift though and

sent Jacob into a spiral of pain with her uncanny ability to burn one with her 

mind. Jacob naked and human was immediately fallen on the floor by her feet,

whimpering. I stood and ran for her, I managed to reach her and bite from her 

arm before she noticed my attack. Soon her gift was used to attack my senses,

and I kicked out, hoping the force from my foot would distract her somehow and

as she flailed across the vast room it did. Allowing me to stand after the small

echo of the pain she could enforce. She growled again once, and her deep

blood red eyes stared at me as I clutched the small wooden wolf charm that

Jacob had once given my mother.

In response, I looked at Jacob weak on the ground and growled at the beautiful

hateful face that loathed my mother so strongly that she chose this as her 

revenge. “I thought the wolf would be good enough, to make her watch me kill

her best friend would be justice to your mother. Now I see, I’ll just let her find the

bodies of her daughter and her wolf best friend here.”

I growled ferociously and she hissed just as fiercely, I ran toward her, never 

evaluating how dumb and fatal this move may have been she, grinned and

waited to rip me to pieces in result of my rash impulsive act. Jacob, in all his

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agony managed to break free of it somehow. He jumped into my path never 

even bothering to become a wolf, but he knocked me out of the way that would

lead me to Jane. However, in the impact between me with my rock hard body

and Jacob’s human form I hit his head so hard in the brace he was left

unconscious as we sprawled across the warehouse and I dropped the wolf 

charm somewhere along the way. Jane noticed development. That Jake was

unconscious, that she not longer needed to use her gift on him and her bright

white teeth flashed at me.

Suddenly the world was on fire. It was not the fire of Jacob’s body. It was not

the fire of comforting friendship I got from Chuck. It was not the fire of blood. It

was not even the fire of a thirst, it was far worse; it was a burning of hell. It was

as if I was at the stake and being burned from the inside rather than the outside.

It was a physical hatred so powerful that my body went weak using all its strength

to reject it. I’d never felt pain before. Never in my life; never in all my 116 years

had I ever felt hell like this before. This was beyond pain, this was beyond

agony. I was being stabbed, burned, and betrayed in the most terrible physical

sense ever. It diminished my being. To die would be better. To let a darkness

consume me and never come out would be better. I screamed. I screamed

ferociously, this was hell in its most horrific interpretation. I wanted to die, I

wanted Jacob to come and put out the fire with his own comforting soft heat. I

wanted Chuck Wilder to touch me with his cool human hand and make the fire go

away, to make the pain go away. I wanted my daddy to come and kill me if that’s

what it took. I screamed and screamed and cried and the pain continued it was a

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torture, the world didn’t exist anymore, just the fire that was burning it. I looked at

Jane she was spinning and smiling as she burned me then a light cast on her 

face and the hurt went away, but I didn’t feel better because I didn’t feel anything,

I went immediately unconscious; I welcomed drowning into the black haziness to

get away from the burning. To die would be a welcomed idea, anything to make

it go away.

 

Epilogue – Waking Up

There’s no pain in death, I’m sure. This I know because everyone deserves

complete peace after they go through hell. I’m convinced, that’s what the world

is. When happiness can never be fully obtained, that is hell; that is life. Life is

hard. I can never have both halves of me, and as convinced as I thought I was

before I saved Jacob, I’m not sure which half I will choose, of course I want to be

natural, but there is something about the supernatural I just can’t let go of. Of 

course I’d have my family either way, but the choice is really between answering

my human love and answering my magic love. My heart is torn.

I opened my eyes to my family’s living room, it was dark and out the glass wall I

could see a full moon. There were people there in the room though, several. I

tried to say, “Hello.” I was still week, though.

“She’s coming around, I think.” Jacob claimed anxiously, I could not disappoint

him, I would awake. Eventually, I decided after struggling through the dark

bonds of a diminishing unconsciousness.

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“Renesmee,” my mother cooed at me. Finally, I smiled.

“Mom,” I answered her, pleased to finally hear her voice again.

“Of course she wants Bella,” Aunt Rosalie said, I could see that whatever she’d

been mad at me for was settled by her tone.

“Oh, Renesmee, trust me, Jane is gone. She’ll never hurt you again. Neither of 

us, I promise,” I reached my hand up to touch my mother’s face, I love you,

Mom. I’ve missed you and I’m so glad that you are finally back. I smiled,

knowing she would have heard my thoughts as I touched her. You too, Dad.

Everything has been confusing since you left. I knew he’d hear me because of 

his ability to read minds.

That night everyone explained the events to me. As Jane burned me, my mother 

and father arrived and my mom immediately stretched out her shield to protect

Dad, Jacob, and I from Jane’s gift. Together, they ripped Jane apart and burned

the pieces, the only way to kill a vampire. I had many injuries and I was

unconscious for part of the time because of shock, a blow to the head, and later 

morphine. We reached home in three days, as my mom and dad were able to

carry Jake and I without sleeping, running their fastest the entire time. My

mother’s part of the deal with Stefan and Vladimir had begun and the newborn

vampires were training to get along with humans, more specifically the humans

of La Push. No one mentioned my crazy, I’m better than you because I’m half 

human behavior towards the half of my family that remained in Forks. It was the

happy ending, for the most part.

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I still had no clue what my decision would be, but surely my father knew of the

decision I was planning to make, he said no word of it to me. Jacob though was

fine and behaving as usual, I loved him for it. At Forks, Jacob joined us, as

another adopted brother; of course he looked older than the rest of us and was

considered an eighteen year old senior. He thus could not act as my boyfriend in

school. Every other day I sat with my human friends and I felt as divided as I had

since the day half of my family went off to war. Every now and then Seth would

come to visit with news about progress the newborns, whom had all been taught

self-control by my mother, father, aunt, and uncle during the war and search.

Uncle Jasper met with the Quileutes daily to make sure the newborns were

behaving well and controlling their emotional climates. My mother was

convinced that she was doing something good by making the deal that she’d fight

with the Romanians if all the newborns were taught to work with humans. She

was right, of course, the newborns were making fantastic progress and the

Quileutes became our friends as they had been all those years ago. Things were

well, and I was happy to be living as hard as things may have been, it was the

Half Human Half Vampire life that no girl would even think to ask for.