GRAND MASTER Murrumba Downs

Pounda

0432 031 588 RELIGIOUS ADVISER Petrie

Chunda

0403 246 872

ASSISTANT RA Kallangur

Cheesecake

0432 386 147 HASH HABERDASH Bribie Island

Kuntree Girl

0402 093 654

HASH CASH Kedron

Boxy 0448 841 912 HASH TRASH & FLASH Windsor

Semen Stains & Christopher Cum Semen

0412 276 625

HARE RAISER Brighton

Smooth Ride 0422 805 565 HASH ELDER Chermside

To & From

0409 765 162

HASH BOOZE Beachmere

FIGJAM 0408 993 099 SONG MISTRESS Aspley

Flower 0408 706 641

Your committee are located throughout the northern suburbs. We are more than happy to take delivery

of, or collect, the plates and cutlery if the holder can’t make it to the next run.

“I’m back”, he said, “I’m fat, lazy and unfit but also unemployed and can set a run if none other slack bastard can.” With an offer like that how could we refuse? It was hot, humid and a short run was promised. The clouds hung low but everyone made it back damp only with sweat – except our GM Pounda and Sherbet, the heavens opened as they rounded the home straight. Hash Cash Boxy gave the run count and our GM Pounda called the Hare Abo into the circle. GM Pounda thanked Abo for doing the run at short notice, freshly back from holidays and enjoying his retirement. Abo corrected the GM, saying he’s not retired, he’s been working in a calendar factory, but they gave him the sack because he missed a couple of days. Boom boom. Thank goodness his run setting is better than his joke telling. The Run Report was given by Cheesecake, he did the run, the whole run, it was well set considering the storms, nice little hills, kept the runners and walkers together. Score: 3/3,000,000 The Walk Report was given by G Spot, he gave half the run and half the walk. It was absolutely marvellous. Abo

It is a truth universally acknowledged that the hash trash never lies. What you are about to read either has happened,

is happening now, or will happen at some time in the future. Or nearly, anyway.

BRISBANE NORTHSIDE

HASH HOUSE HARRIERS

Website: www.bnh3.yolasite.com Email: brisbanenorthsidehhh@hotmail.com

HASH TRASH

It never rains on Abo’s runs – except on the GM and Sherbet.

RUN NO: 2048 DATE: 09/10/2017 HARE: Abo LOCATION: Albany Creek

was so appreciative he offered Spotty his salty nuts – settle down, he meant the peanuts on the table. Score: 10/10 The Letterbox Report was given by Semen Stains, it was great, she and Wet Spot followed the arrows until they didn’t follow them and they kept going until there weren’t any then when they reached the main road and turned back, what do you know, the arrows were just where they’d left them. Score: 5/1,000 “Little arrows that you follow…”

RELIGIOUS ARTICLES Big Prick: Sherbet awarded it to Abo for his terrible joke. “Has anybody seen his cock…” Little Prick: missing in action with Pickpocket, consoling himself with it over Manly’s recent loss. Vagina Brush: G Spot got to keep it for another week for leaving it behind last week. “He’s stupid…” Scrubber Shirt: FIGJAM awarded it to Scrubber because recently a group of Veteran’s were turned away from a lunch because they didn’t have a reservation. Just as well because Scrubber was working the grill that day. “Oh I stuck my head up a billy goat’s arse…” Prick Measure Paddle: missing in action with Ned. Must be stuck. CHARGES: Milestones – Wheelbarrow 700 runs, Ten Fingers 300 runs, Flower 200 runs. “Here’s to these pricks they’re true blue…” Heartstarter had 100 runs last week, GM Pounda inadvertently missed giving her a down down, will catch her at the camping weekend. GM Pounda charged Abo because it’s a known fact, that it doesn’t ever, ever rain on a Hash run. It rained on the Hash run tonight because the run doesn’t finish until the last Hasher’s back. “There’s a skeeter on his peeter whack it off…” Fakarwee charged FIGJAM for devious behaviour on the run – at the RG mark, he called it a Runners Group, and sent the walkers off up the hill instead of a re-group. “Why was he born so beautiful…” Kimasutra charged Chunda interfering with wildlife on the run, he wrestled a blue tongue lizard Steve Irwin style. (He was moving it off the path to safety.) “Do your balls hang low…” Wet Spot charged Flasher for being a lazy bastard and not doing the run, he got lost running around the Bunyaville Forest and couldn’t find the trail when he arrived in Albany Creek. “Piss onya, piss onya, piss onya…” FIGJAM charged Kimasutra for panting on the run “not tonight, not tonight, it’s too sweaty and hot tonight”, then he kept running and next she said “hang on FIGGY let me wipe myself on you”, then a bit further on was heard to say “that FIGGY is a nice bloke” before starting to comment on her date. At which point he got out of there. He’s not that sort of bloke. GM Pounda charged Sherbet for telling another Harriett that she was pleased she was here tonight because she wanted to give her a big dick. “Her left tit hangs over her shoulder…”

Kimasutra charged three overachieving bastards, unfortunately there are only two so the charge was reversed. Semen Stains leapt to her defence and scored a charge herself. The TWO overachieving bastards were GM Pounda and Cheesecake. Chunda was at home sitting on his couch watching Bathurst. “They’re the women who wear the Hash shoes…” Returnees: Scrubber has been cooking dirty schnitzels and greasy steaks instead of Hashing; so he doesn’t drink alone Asshole Dick Fart was called up to join him and Smooth Ride has returned from her European escapades and Flasher returned from extracurricular training. Abo was called out too, sausages may burn. “Oh where oh where oh was you last week…” ANNOUNCEMENTS Camping weekend this weekend. No further details because registration has closed. If you’re desperate to go, contact Cheesecake to see if catering and Hash Piss can still accommodate late entries. Remember to bring your own water, eating utensils and plates!! FIGJAM will bring enough beer for military drinking – one can, per man, per day, perhaps. After being threatened with finding himself on the wrong end of a crab dinner, he thought he could manage a bit more. Tour de Bribie is 21 October, see flyers sent out by email and on the Bribie Hash website. Golf Day is 29 October, if you’re going let Wheelbarrow know. In memory of Bushie there will be a perpetual Bushie award. Beachmere Occasional Hash has a discovery winery tour on 18 November, bus trip, 4 wineries, bring your Hash gear, $30.00 – there will be 4 wineries at Beachmere by the 18th. Christmas Party will be at Generic’s place on 2 December. Hash Name: we’ve been working through the Committee members, this week Semen Stains was called up to explain her original name and conversion. Triple J was named by her Mother Hash, Thirsty Fine Comestibles Hash, after an away weekend at the Relay in 2015. She was sharing a room with True Blue who happened upon her sports bra and she was thereby named Triple J. However, in honour of her moving from the rear of the walkers to the rear of the runners, losing a substantial amount of weight along the way and no longer owning said infamous sports garment, Thirsty Hash GM Kimasutra renamed her Semen Stains because of her tendency to spill white wine on her shirt. GM Pounda is away for the next four weeks, we will be entertained in his stead by Chunda and Cheesecake. NEXT WEEK’S RUN #2049 Hares: Heartstarter and Overproof at 33 Aquarius St Kallangur

Abo’s sausage was not too long and not too thick, just perfect in a bun. Actually, in a slice of

bread with salad and sauce, but that doesn’t sound quite so lurid.

Great run and yummy BBQ, thanks Abo!

PHOTOS ON THE LAST PAGE…..

The Evidence

The evidence care of GM Pounda. Flasher always ready to squeeze a pretty Harriett, our Ryvita.

Fakarwee doing his best Arthur Fonzarelli impersonation and Killer as Richie?

Beauty and the Beast.

Would you eat a steak cooked by this man??? To and From trying to remember if he has.

Vampire fending off Ten Fingers, FIGJAM oblivious to the shenanigans behind him.