S H A R E W I T H A F R I E N D A N D S P R E A D T H E L A U G H T E R • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 7

In Mexico, the Tooth Fairy is known as the Tooth Mouse.

“I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” - Elayne Boosler

There are currently more than 300 registered superheroes in the United States.

2011: I will get my weight down below 180.2012: I will watch my calories until I get below 190.2013: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200.2014: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.2015: I will work out five days a week.2016: I will work out three days a week.2017: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

Ms. Battle: Henry, I hope I didn’t see you copying Casey’s math test. Henry: I hope you didn’t either.

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far, I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” - Dave Barry

The Procrastination Club meeting has been postponed until next week.

LACTOMANGULATION (lak’ to man guy lay’ shun) n. Manhandling the “open here” spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the ‘illegal’ side.

A cat has been the mayor of Talkeetna, Alaska, for 15 years.

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” - Don Marquis

10 NICE Things

to Say About an

awful Gift!

A HAPPY 2017TO OUR AMAZING

CUSTOMERS!

1. To think I got this the year I vowed to give all my gifts to charity.

2. Sadly, tomorrow I enter the federal witness protection program.

3. If the dog buries it, I’ll be furious!

4. I love it, but I fear the jealousy it will inspire.

5. Gosh, I hope this never catches fire!

6. I really don’t deserve this.

7. Well, well, well...

8. Perfect for wearing in the basement.

9. It would be a shame if the garbage man ever accidentally took this from me.

10. Boy, if I had not recently shot up four sizes, that would’ve fit.

GOOD NEWS!Another year has begun! We know you are dedicated to your company’s success in the New Year. Good news is, we are too. Our printing firm is eager to partner with you as you dream and plan. Give us a call today and see what we can do for you!

I went to the bank and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!

S H A R E W I T H A F R I E N D A N D S P R E A D T H E L A U G H T E R • J A N U A R Y 2 0 1 7

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February 2017

Library Lovers Month • Youth Leadership Month • National Cherry Month • Bake for Family Fun Month • National Bird Feeding Month

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Superbowl Sunday

Abraham Lincoln’s birthday

Cherry Coke was introduced in 1985.

Canadian Maple Syrup Day

Get a Different Name Day

Canadian Family Day

In 1996, Pokémon was released in Japan.

Ashton Kutcher, Chris Rock, and Garth Brooks have birthdays.

Valentine’s Day

The Jackson 5 made their TV debut on American Bandstand in 1970.

Shrove Tuesday/Mardi Gras

Change Your Password Day

Boy Scout Day – celebrating the birth of scouting.

National Flag of Canada Day

George Washington’s birthday.

Groundhog Day

National Pizza Day

Ladies Home Journal began publication in 1883.

The Tootsie Roll was introduced by Leo Hirshfield in 1896.

The Day the Music Died.

Umbrella Day

Random Acts of Kindness Day

National Tortilla Chip Day

USO (United Service Organizations) Day

Tu B’Shevat (Arbor Day) in Canada

In 1930, the planet Pluto was discovered by Clyde Tombaugh.

Sean Astin, Julio Iglesias Jr,. and Rashida Jones have birthdays.

89th Academy Awards is held

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