Building Emotional Competence

• Emotional Intelligence – Meaning, Components, Importance and Relevance

• Positive and Negative Emotions • Healthy and Unhealthy expression of

Emotions

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Emotions: An Introduction

• Emotions are strong, positive or negative, temporary feelings that influence thinking and behavior– Such as jealousy, fear, love, joy, or grief– Provide us with knowledge of current emotional

condition– Energize our thoughts and behaviors

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Emotions

• Are activated by a variety of events• We can choose how we behave• We have control over emotions

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Achieving Emotional Balance

• lack emotional balance breed– fear– confusion– anger– sadness

• People more likely to– drive aggressively – misbehave during flights– become abusive when unhappy with service– experience emotional pain because of

disagreeable bosses

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Personal Competence

• Refers to the competencies that determine how we manage ourselves

• Competencies in this category include– Recognizing one's emotions and their effects– Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in

check– Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity

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Cultural Conditioning

• Culture is what we see and hear so often it becomes reality

• Shapes nearly every aspect of behavior and mental processes

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Cultural Conditioning

• Cultural influences have a dramatic effect on American adults and children

• An example– Interpersonal violence in the United States is the

highest among the industrialized countries– Too much violence makes it difficult to achieve

emotional balance

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Coping with Your Anger and the Anger of Others

• Anger is the thoughts, feelings, physical reactions, and actions that result from the unacceptable behavior of others

• Anger often triggers hostility• Learning to deal with anger is key to

– Healthy relationships– Physical and mental health

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Managing Your Anger

• Anger can take control of people and cause them to make poor decisions

• Learning to deal with anger and anger of others is a sophisticated and mature skill people should learn

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• Avoid reacting in a manner that could be seen as emotionally unstable

• Express your feelings in a timely manner• Be specific as you describe the factors that

triggered your anger, and be clear about the resolution you are seeking

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Effective Ways to Express Your Anger

Strategies

Suppressing Your Emotions

• Many learn to suppress their feelings• Some develop intellectual strategies to avoid

dealing directly with emotional reactions• Mental and physical health problems can

develop

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Suppressing Your Emotions

• Problems traced to suppressed emotions– Headaches– Asthma– Back pain– Cardiovascular difficulties

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Capitulating to Your Emotions

• People see themselves as helpless victims of feelings that they cannot control

• Responsibility for a problem assigned to external causes while the person suffers in silence

• Often overly concerned about attitudes and opinions of others

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Overexpressing Your Emotions

• Frequently displays lack of emotional control– Use of foul language– Flared tempers– Raised voices– Teary eyes

• Quick way to damage one’s image at work

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Fine-Tuning Your Emotional Style• “Think before you act” point of view• Put your problems into proper perspective

– When faced with unpleasant events, pause and ask “Is this problem worth getting upset about?”

• Take responsibility for your emotions– How you view your emotional difficulties will have a

major impact on how you deal with them.• Take steps to move beyond negative emotions

such as envy, anger, jealousy and hatred– When anger dominates your life, therapy, counseling,

or membership in a support group may provide relief.

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