building relationships with donors through deep listening ... · pdf fileadministrative...
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DATE GOES HERE ARIAL 16 BOLD
Building Relationships with Donors through Deep Listening
Mid Valley Development Professionals
Tom Wilson
February 23, 2012
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1) Classical musician, conductor, teacher, jazz sax
2) 30 years of encouraging donors & nonprofits
3) Weblog –
4) Certified trainer Peter F. Drucker The 5 Most Important Questions
5) My mission
“transforming people through philanthropy to
improve our community”
Tom WilsonTrusted Advisor & Coach
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Winning GiftsMake Your Donors Feel Like Winners
Wiley & Sons, 2008
I. A Winning Gift for Your Donor
1) People Centered Fundraising
2) Donor Values
3) Listen
II. Winning Gifts for Your Organization
4) Make Your Case
5) The Win Win Ask
6) Thanks, Recognition, & Stewardship
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1) Building relationships is key to successful major gift fundraising
2) Collective listening can get you started toward understanding your donors
3) Deep listening helps build relationships enabling you to• Secure a higher gift
at the best time from the right person
Keys to today’s session
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1) Identify & qualify
2) Introduce & interact
3) Interests? (listen)
4) Inform (impact)
5) Involve & engage
6) Invest & steward
Copyright 1993 by Tom Wilson
The Six I’s of Philanthropic Fundraising
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Six I’s Step #3
Interests & Needs (Listen)
Listen for a donor’s interests and values
How can a donation to your organization meet the donor’s needs?
• To give back to their community
• To help others
• To be recognized
• To leave a legacy
The key to Winning Gifts is the ability to listen deeply
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Peoples’ interests Institutional needs
Best Potential Donors
Match peoples’ interests with institutional needs
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Start with peoples’ needsUse a marketing approach
“You must discover and communicate something
of unique value to your customers.
“It all comes down to customers.
“Focus on what you will do for your customer.”
Schewe & Hiam
The Portable MBA in Marketing
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Seek First To Understand, Then To Be Understood
Stephen R. Covey Habit #5
Empathetic Listening
Diagnose before you prescribe
Being influence-able is the key to influencing others
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First listen to yourselfSphere of Silence
Set aside an hour a day of quiet reflection
• Sit quietly, silence is critical
• Pace, work out, or take a long walk
What went well yesterday?
• What could you have improved?
What’s important today?
This week?
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Listen & learn
not
tell & sell
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Listening by reading
The Chronicle of Philanthropy
AFP Magazine & E-News
The New York Times & The Wall Street Journal
Books & Blogs
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Billionaire values
“A very rich person should leave his kids
enough to do anything but not enough to do
nothing.”
Warren Buffett
For a great book to learn about
mega-donor values, read
The Snowball, biography
o of Mr. Buffett
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Paul AllenIdea Man 2011
The Paul G. Allen Foundation (founded 1986) distributes $30 million annually
� $1 billion of personal giving
� Experience Music Project
� Science Fiction Museum & Hall of Fame
� Allen Telescope Array
� WSU School for Global Animal Health
� UW numerous gifts of significance
� Allen Institute for Brain Science
Agreed to Giving Pledge
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80% all of millionaires are first generation wealth
95% married
67% self employed
80% college graduates
Most feel daughters are financially handicapped as compared to their sons
View themselves as “tightwads”
Millionaire Next DoorThomas J. Stanley
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The Seven Faces of Philanthropy
Prince & File
16
Altruistic 9%
Religious 21%
Dynasts 8%
Repayer 10%
Socialite 11%
Investor 15%
Communitarian 26%
0% 5% 10% 15% 20% 25% 30%
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1) The law of the few
● Champions — early adopters
● Connectors — know lots of people
● Askers — skills to persuade
2) The stickiness factor
● A message with a memorable impact
3) The power of context
● Settings and small factors can make a big difference
The Tipping PointMalcolm Gladwell
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Start with collective listening
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“All the first-rate decision makers I’ve
observed had a very simple rule:
“If you have quick consensus on an
important matter, don’t make the decision.
“Acclamation means nobody has done the
homework.
“Trust requires that dissent come out in the
open.”
Constructive dissent Peter F. Drucker
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What collective listening can you do?
Seek feedback every time verbally and in writing
• Board meetings
• Fundraising committee meetings
• Special events
• Participative focus group listening sessions
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Societal examples of collective listening
1) The comment card in your hotel room
2) American Idol
3) Airline evaluation forms
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Leadership briefingsParticipative focus groups
Invite your best donors to a listening and feedback meeting – hold 4 to 6
1) 90 minute sessions starting with case outline presentation (30 minutes)
2) Facilitator activates discussion
a) Feedback form (5 minutes)
b) Small group discussions (30 minutes)
c) Reporting out to the whole group (25 minutes)
3) Staff listens and debriefs later
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Create board discussions so you can listen
Opportunities and problems in a new light
Tests assumptions & invites alternative hypotheses
20 minute, 1-on-1 discussions, report out
� Which projects this year?
� A specific project case statement
BoardSource
Wiley 2005
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Engagement surveys
Mail request for 10 to 15 minutes of their time
• Include case outline (2 up) & campaign gift table
• Survey form – 1 page legal size (front & back)
• Return envelope (BRE or stamp)
• Send to top 5% or 10% of your file
• E-mail version
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Engagement survey questionsfor an art museum
25
1) What type of art do you enjoy?
� Contemporary � Historic � BothWhy?
2) Do you collect art?
If so, what type?
What are your collection objectives?
3) Why is _____ Art Museum important to you?
The community?
Based upon your review of the campaign case outline,
please answer the following questions
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Straw polls
Paper ballots
Color cards
Electronic voting pads
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Select one person to meet with
� What have you learned so far?
� What collective listening could you do?
Be ready to report out
One on one discussions
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Personal listening
to build relationships
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Qualification interviews
Online prospect research is wonderful
Electronic screening provides wealth ratings
However . . .
� The best qualification process is the old-fashioned, face-to-face (F2F) interview
These qualification interviews start the relationship building process
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Rate this couple
$55 million to the University of Texas to name the school of music – Dr. Butler is a retired otolaryngologist who founded the Austin Ear, Nose, & Throat Clinic
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Discovery discussions
Interview to determine life stage and affinity
• Affinity detection is easy
� Just ask
• Life stage is tougher
� Look for clues
� A moving target, especially in this economy
� Frankly, none of your business
• If in doubt, build affinity
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Thank you visits
Get acquainted
• $1,000 or more gifts
� Deliver a memento
• Request gift designation
� $5,000 or more
YAM
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Kaizen callsContinuous process improvement
Gift club benefit testing
Special events sponsor discussions to improve the event
Board retreats
� How can we make them better?
Donor stewardship
� Do you feel recognized and informed properly?
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Create your case for support through deep listening
Start with your mission, vision, strategic plan
Then, start listening
• Conduct background interviews to discover the 3 key priorities of your organization
� Administrative leaders
� Program managers and other key professionals
� Board members
� Long-term donors
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The philanthropic market research study
The study (feasibility or planning) is a massive listening exercise
• Don’t miss the opportunity
• Don’t rush the process
• For every consultant interview staff should do an interview
• Readiness interviews after the study are another best practice
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Philanthropic market research study questions
� While not an ask, where do you see yourself on the gift table?
� Where are we on your priority list of charitable giving?
� Have you ever considered a planned estate gift for our cause?
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Internet listening strategies
Ask people for feedback through your website
University of Pennsylvania’s donor pop-up
Allow comments on your blog
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Market research
5.3
3.53.4
2.2
1.9 1.81.6 1.6 1.5 1.4
0.7
0.0
1.0
2.0
3.0
4.0
5.0
6.0
Nurse, Physician Recruitment & Retention 5.3
Hospital Remodel 3.5
Endowed Chairs 3.4
Hospice 2.2
Education Scholarships for Healthcare Professionals 1.9
New Technology 1.8
Aspen Basalt Healthcare Center 1.6
Direct assistance for people in need 1.6
Grant support for local health & human services organizations 1.5
Senior Services (CCRC) 1.4
Mental Health services 0.7
1
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Become a deep listener
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“The questions, ‘What do customers value?
What satisfies their needs, wants, and aspirations?’
is so complicated that it can only be answered by
customers themselves.
“There are no irrational customers. Almost
without exception, customers behave rationally in
terms of their own realities and their own situation.”
Peter F. Drucker
The 5 Most Important Questions
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Matt Oechsli
The Art of Selling to the Affluent
“You must replace your ‘sales pitch’ with a
questioning process that provides you with vital
information about your customers and their
families while helping them discover how what
you offer can successfully satisfy their needs
and desires.”
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Reader or listener
Drucker – “it’s like being either right or left handed”
Of course, ask
• The person may not know
• You may not be able to discern
• You have a mixed group
Learning theory – present verbally and visually at the same time
• It’s better for everyone
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Zen of ListeningRebecca Shafir
“Silence is virtuous in its ability to make
your speaker feel good about himself.
“Silence allows the speaker’s deeper
thoughts to surface, thoughts that often
contain solutions to problems.
“When you allow your speaker the time to
think out loud in a supportive environment, you
set the stage for her empowerment, and she
will want to be in your company more often.”
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The importance of face-to-face meetings
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The 8th Habit: from Effectiveness to Greatness
Stephen R. Covey
5 levels of listening
1) ignoring
2) pretend listening
3) selective listening
4) attentive listening
5) empathetic listening
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Listen UpLarry Barker, PhD & Kittie Watson, PhD
Content Oriented Listeners• Carefully evaluates everything they hear
Time Oriented Listeners• Clock watchers
People Oriented Listeners• Listens to understand the emotions of others
Action Oriented Listeners• Prefers to listen in outline form
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Six Parallel Ways of Thinking Edward de Bono
Blue Thinking Hat• Focus and organization
White Thinking Hat• Objective facts
Red Thinking Hat• Subjective emotions
Yellow Thinking Hat• Valuable benefits
Black Thinking Hat• Careful assessments
Green Thinking Hat• Creative modifications
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Talking & listening
The average person
• Talks at a rate of around 150 words per minute
• Listens at a rate of 500 words per minute
� Take notes to slow down your listening
� Without visual cues, phone listening is tough
Are you listening?
Is your donor really listening to you?
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Invoke the no-ask rule
Unfortunately, too many fundraisers have trained donors that the only time we want a meeting is for an ask
Establish the ground rule – no ask, just listen
• But, it’s okay to accept a gift if offered at the right target amount
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Be curious
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Restate to clarify
what you’ve heard
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Be systematic
Have a set of questions on a form
Use a notepad to show you are listening
Capture your interactions in contact reports
Be patient with your listening
• It can take 6 meetings for a big gift
• Double that for a planned estate gift
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Be a keen observer
What nonverbal cues did you pick up?
Any tips from the setting (home or office)?
Dress, personal style?
Energy?
Listening and learning style?
• When did their eyes light up?
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What do you do in your spare time?
Or retirement?
What sports or activities did you do in college and/or high school?
What’s the most satisfying philanthropic investment you’ve ever made?
Follow-up discussions
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Act on what you’ve heard
Prove to people you’ve listened by taking action
� But, don’t overpromise
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Listening Tools
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Requesting a listening meeting
Have an authentic reason for a meeting
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Use a pre-approach letter
Send reaction materials with the letter
• Have a genuine, authentic listening agenda
� Test gift club benefits
� Annual fund case
� How to improve the gala
Letter PS
• Lock up your checkbook — a “no ask” meeting
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The appointment setting phone call
1) Find the best, high-energy time of day
2) Use a private space and a key-points script
3) Stand up & smile, use your hands, think energy
4) Re-affirm the “no ask” meeting rule
5) Offer flexibility of meeting place & time
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Mutual decision making
Most people have a spouse or life partner who need to be included in gift discussions
Some people will ask that family members become involved
• This trend is increasing
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Preparing for the meeting
a) Send note of meeting day, time, place
b) Call the day before to confirm the meeting
c) Review prospect research
d) Check your calling book for copy of the case, reaction list
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Starting the listening session
Confirm your agenda
• Verify time frame for the session
Listening
• Relationship building
� Find out what makes them tick
• Reactions to materials
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Questionsfor individuals
1) What do you do for a living?
2) Where do we rate compared to other nonprofits?
3) How did you get involved with our us?
4) What does your spouse / partner do? Children?
5) What are your dreams for our organization?
6) (Close your notebook) – Any other comments?
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Questionsfor corporations
1) How is the economy treating your company?
2) Why have you supported us in the past?
3) What are your corporate objectives and how can we work together to move them forward?
4) What time of year should we make a gift request?
5) Who should make the request?
6) How important is recognition for your company?
7) What other advice would you give to us?
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Take notes
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The 25 Habits of Highly Successful Sales People
Stephan Schiffman
“Taking notes during your meeting with
the prospect helps you listen, puts you in a
position of authority, encourages your prospect
to open up, and sends positive signals . . . .
“There’s something about having an
empty sheet of paper in front of you that really
tunes you in to what is being said, and makes it
more difficult for your to miss important points.”
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Be trust worthy
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Share yourself
KT, lives in New York City, the youngest of our 4 children a psychology junior using distance learning from Eastern Oregon University
� A Radio City Rockette
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Listen compassionately
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Energy interruptions are okay
Even though you’re there to listen, a few interruptions are okay
• They show interest
• Listen to great interviewers
� Terry Gross of NPR’s Fresh Air
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If appropriate, look for
opportunities for a next contact
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Listen for gifting noises
Direct indications
Hints
Passion for the cause
Telling you about other gifts they have made
A yearning for recognition
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Reflective listening
Write up your contact report
� What did you hear?
• Use your data base
• If not qualified for a higher gift, you’re done
• If a six-figure prospect — write a couple of paragraphs on what you discovered
• If a seven- or eight-figure prospect — write everything you can remember
� A total brain dump
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Brain cells in my finger tips
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Donor comments from a 60 minute
meeting
Rough notes made at the meeting
barely legible even to the writer
Contact Report
Full thoughts for in-depth future reference by institution
Reflective Listening & Permanence Flow Chart
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Keep track of your calls
a) Who needs follow-up actions?
b) Who is ready for an ask?
c) Use a tracking chart to follow
• Your Top 10 List
• Next 25
• Future 65
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Prospect movement chart
Confidential Target Volunteer Staff Last Next Notes
9/15/2009 Gift Contact Six I's Step
Top 10
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Next 25
11
12
13
14
15
Future 65
36
37
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Listening during the ask
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How volunteers can help
1) Sign pre-approach letters to people they know to open doors for a listening meeting
2) Review your list
a) Who can they pre-qualify?
b) He can add personal notes to invitation letters
c) She can join you on door-opening meetings
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Fundraising volunteer• Open the door, present outside credibility
Ideally, make the ask
Executive Director (program staff leader)• Share organizational vision
How this gift will benefit the community
Fundraiser• Active listener, orchestrate presentation
Ask (if needed)
Asking for a Winning GiftThe ideal ask team
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The volunteer’s role in an ask meeting
Review what you’ve heard them say about your organization’s impact in the community
� How can this be strengthened?
Ask them to talk about their gift decision
Are they willing to ask?
� If so, get into training mode
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The problem of
too much presenting
and not enough
listening
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During the ask meeting
Present and listen . . . present and listen
• The fundraiser’s job is to keep a balance
Draw out the prospect
After the ask . . .
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The pregnant pause
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How to Raise Funds circa 1891Frederick T. Cates in Study in Power by Allen Nevins
9. Let the victim talk freely, especially in the earlier part of the interview, while you use the opportunity to study his peculiarities.
10. Never argue with him. Never contradict him. If he is talkative, let him talk, talk, talk. Give your fish the reel and listen with deep interest.
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Listen to yourselfReflective learning
1) Stand up, close your eyes, 3 deep breathes
2) Listen to yourself
• reflect on what you’ve learned
• on what resonated
3) Write down what you’ll do differently next week
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Resources
Rafael Aguayo Dr. Deming: The American Who Taught the Japanese About Quality(New York: A Fireside Book, Simon & Schuster, 1990).Larry Barker, Ph.D. and Kittie Watson, Ph.D. Listen Up: At Home, at Work, in Relationships: How to Harness the Power of Effective Listening (New York: St. Martin’s Griffin, 2000).Stephen R. Covey, The 8th Habit: from Effectiveness to Greatness (New York: Free Press, 2004).Richard A. Krueger Focus Groups: A Practical Guide for Applied Research, Second Edition (Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications, 1994).Matt Oechsli The Art of Selling to the Affluent (New York: John Wiley & Sons, Inc., 2005).Stephan Schiffman, The 25 Sales Habits of Highly Successful Salespeople(Holbrook, MA: Bob Adams, Inc., 1994).Rebecca Z. Shafir, The Zen of Listening: Mindful Communication in the Age of Distraction (Wheaton, IL: Quest Books Theosophical Publishing House, 2000).Carolyn B. Thompson, Interviewing Techniques for Managers (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2002).Thomas D. Wilson, Winning Gifts: Make Your Donors Feel Like Winners (New York: Wiley & Sons, 2008).
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DATE GOES HERE ARIAL 16 BOLD
Building Relationships with Donors through Deep Listening
Mid Valley Development Professionals
Tom Wilson
February 23, 2012