Dr. Debra Huntley District 196 Parent FairLicensed Psychologist Nov. 2, 2013

Barry Caplin, Chief Information Security OfficerFairview Health Serviceshttp://about.me/barrycaplin, http://securityandcoffee.blogspot.com

Slides at http://www.slideshare.net/bcaplinHandouts at http://www.bjb.org/stuff/talks/

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What is Bullying?Six key elements of bullying:

It is physical, verbal, or psychological attack or intimidation

The bully is more powerful or perceived to be more powerful than the victim

The bully intends to cause fear and/or harm to the victim

The act is unprovoked by the victimThe act is repeatedIt produces the desired effect

What is Cyberbullying?Cyberbullying involves harassing, insulting, physically threatening, socially excluding, and/or humiliating others using electronic media such as email, Internet sites, instant Internet messaging, and cell phone text messages

How is Cyberbullying Different from School-Ground Bullying?

Speed of distributionBreadth of distributionAnonymity24/7 accessibilityPermanenceAttractive to those who lack power,

popularity, confidence, or social status

Teens:• Online 5 hrs/day• 60% check SNS daily,

41% constantly• 40.9% females use

Tumblr• 29.8% males use 4chan• 66% say parents don’t

need to know their activities

• Cyberbullying – 62.1% witnessed, 23.3% targets

Parents think:• <3 hrs• 48%/22%

• 16%• 13%• 33% believe teens more

tech-savvy, 23% overwhelmed

• 10% believe their teens targetted

They Said/We Said

PerceptionsOf kids in study:30% had been bullied; 10% of parents aware15% had bullied; 5% of parents aware

*2013 Cornell University study of 465 parent/child pairs

Sexting

• Texts/attachments not private

• Currently considered child porn

• Tunkhannock, PA

Characteristics of Those Who BullyAge –Typically older than those they bully

Research shows that 8th graders were the most likely age to engage in bullying

For elementary school children, lack of friends (not always true for adolescents)

Aggressive, domineering, and hostile toward peers Exhibit little anxiety or insecurity Bullying has shown to be related to three parent

characteristics: (a) a negative emotional attitude such as lack of warmth and involvement, (b) permissiveness toward aggressive childhood behavior, and (c) the use of power-assertive parenting methods like physical punishment. If bullying involves the abuse of power, think about where the child first experiences the power differential and how it is handled – between the child and the parent

Characteristics of Those Who are BulliedAge - younger students more at risk for being bullied

Children between 6 and 11 were most likely to be physically, verbally, and emotionally bullied (i.e. teasing). However, in cyberbullying, more likely to be middle school and first year of high school

Younger students may be more vulnerable because they have fewer coping mechanisms/less skilled dealing with conflict

Children with ineffective coping strategies, low self-esteem, less physical strength, perceived as different from others, less assertiveness, lack of protective friendships, and lack of popularity

Quiet, cautious, fearful, sensitive children who may be easily moved to tears are more likely to be bullied

Children of parents who are overprotective or sheltering; i.e. the children are somewhat dependent and lack confidence in their own abilities. Families are often enmeshed (e.g. lack boundaries)

Children who are cyberbullied are more likely to spend more time online and disclose more personal information online than non-victims

Effects of Bullying on Those Who are Bullied

Thoughts of suicide and acts of suicide Increased social support has a significant

effect on reducing suicidal ideation Girls more likely to engage in suicidal

ideation Depression, low self-esteem, and anxiety Psychosomatic and somatic symptoms; this

relationship seems to be especially true for younger students

Avoidance/escape behaviors, such as not going to school, refusing to go certain places, and running away from home

Problems with academic performance

Effects of Bullying on Those Who BullyIncreased thoughts of suicide for

bulliesMay be ostracized by peer groups

or become victims of bullying Bullies are at increased risk of

becoming involved in delinquency, crime, and alcohol abuse

How to Deal with Those Who BullyMust take into account severity/seriousness of the behavior.

Criteria for judging the offense might include (1) perceived harmfulness of the action, (2) perpetrator’s history of bullying others, (3) amenability of the bully to recognize the injustice of his or her actions and to practice more prosocial behavior, and (4) the cooperativeness of the bully’s parents Clearly identify the offensive behavior without condemning the

child Avoid personal abuse and instead offer student a chance to

“make things right” Have the child learn coping behaviors when faced with conflicts

or negative emotions Coping behaviors may be cognitive (appraising the situation,

generating other approaches) or emotional (distancing from situation, anger management)

Parents should engage in more consistent discipline with a focus on negotiation and less harsh discipline when resolving family conflict

REFER TO HANDOUT FOR TIPS ON HOW TO HANDLE CHILDREN WHO BULLY

How to Deal With Those Who are Bullied Better if the victim can solve the problem themselves, if possible; greatly

increases self-esteem If possible, discover why child is being victimized: May be (1) socially

unskilled, introverted, or lacking assertiveness, (2) an emotional state (e.g. anxiety, depression) that interferes with child’s ability to engage in appropriate social behavior, (3) being personally “different” that in some way, draws attention from bullies, (4) being a member of a group for whom there is considerable prejudice; e.g. race or sexual orientation, or (5) acting in a way that provokes aggression from others

Based on possible reasons, provide access to specialized help OR help child acquire skills to avoid being bullied (e.g. how to avoid overreacting to teasing or assertiveness training). Important to also change the behavior of the bullies

Coping behaviors may be cognitive (confronting the situation, seeking social support, making other plans, telling bully to stop) or emotional (distancing, control of feelings) For 5 to 6 year olds, most successful strategies were telling a teacher or

having a friend help. Least successful was fighting back or walking away For 12 to 13 year olds, nonchalance was more successful than

counteraggression or helplessness) Children share more about what is happening to them if parents respond in a

stable, reassuring, and proactive manner and NOT a reactive manner REFER TO HANDOUT FOR TIPS ON HOW TO HANDLE CHILDREN

WHO ARE BULLIED

How to Deal with Cyberbullying Helpful for parents to talk with children about appropriate ways to interact

online and the family guidelines for computer use. Parents and children need to agree about the circumstances under which the children should notify the parents if they receive negative messages or view harmful content online

Parents should not read everything a child posts or views (invasion of privacy, trust issues) but should let child know ahead of time that they will engage in some monitoring. However, if there are issues of cyberbullying, parents need to monitor more closely. There are software tools that monitor a child’s social networking sites and phone texts but they only alert parents if certain words/terms are used so kids can still work around this

Teach children to save all bullying messages. If parents can’t tell who sent it, they can forward it to internet service provider or in extreme cases, contact the police. Remind children to NOT turn off the computer if they see upsetting content, but instead turn off the monitor (so they don’t continue to see it) and alert the parents who can go back to it and respond; parents need to instruct children to NOT respond to offensive content until they have conferred with an adult

REFER TO HANDOUT FOR TIPS ON HOW TO HANDLE CYBERBULLYING

Prevention Teach kids to solve problems without using violence and praise

them when they do. Give children positive feedback when they behave well to help

their build self-esteem. Help give them the self-confidence to stand up for what they believe in.

Ask your children about their day and listen to them talk about school, social events, their classmates, and any problems they have.

Take bullying seriously. Many kids are embarrassed to say they have been bullied. You may only have one chance to step in and help.

If you see any bullying, stop it right away, even if your child is the one doing the bullying.

Encourage your child to help others who need it. Don't bully your children or bully others in front of them. Many

times kids who are bullied at home react by bullying other kids. If your children see you hit, ridicule, or gossip about someone else, they are also more likely to do so themselves.

Support bully prevention programs in your child's school.

SEE HANDOUT FOR TIPS ON HOW SCHOOLS CAN DEVELOP PREVENTION PROGRAMS

Other Potential SolutionsVirtual empathyAnti-bullying programs – do they work?Facebook and other online campaigns w/

celebs

Pro-Hero!

Texting gameSituation/response

Advice:Be a FriendSpeak UpHelp Him Get Out of the SituationTell an Old Person

Discussion?

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