busitema satellite vol 1 issue 2

7/29/2019 Busitema Satellite Vol 1 Issue 2

1/16

1 Monday, 20 february 2012

Busitema satellite vol1, issue 2

Lovers issue

Chief Editor: +256-714-778-566 Associate Editor:+256-779--324-219

Namasagali campus

sportspolitics

Vol.1 issue 2

Parties rise from the dead Dabos see the blues

TheBusitema satellite

the word namasagali is a lusoga word thatmeans going to check the fares of the traingali

so come 14th feb the day of lovers, it wasone of the activities of the day that lovdrsenjoyed.

valentine at the nile was not as commercial-

ised as the increased availability of redrose flowers today. It was not about publicdisplay as synonymous with the lovers to-

day. Those days their were no red flowersin the Indian shops that dotted the goldenbrown that covered namasagali. Insteadthey went with their lovers to buy enda-

badathat were the trend of the time.The male youth wore bell bottoms withmatching afros cuts. There was emphasison the bell covering the full length of theshoes. These were complemented with silk

vinyl shirts that were flowered to catchthe eyes of the saucy females. In the eve-ning the boys came creeping at the galshome since the gals parents were synony-

mous with toughness at the time.

For the sharp ones who managed to sneak

around it was a time of fairy tale.

And others proved the love for theirdarlings by giving them brewed cupsof malwa

Academics entertainment Your life and God

Discussion taken to mos-

quito nets

Internship hots up

Zambia the chiplolopolo

The nobles

cartoons

Year 2s cowards

News bites

I dig you like a farmerWho is supposed to market thecourse

A ferry on river nile

Docking station


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Lovers issue

Lecture block bring-

ing smilesThe new block finally taking shape

from the advance toilets whose

foundation was dug into the groundjust a couple of weeks ago to an

eye catching iron sheet designed

building with running glass all

around it. We cant wait for its un-

veiling like happened with the iron

sheet bathroom when the vc failed

to show up to official open them.

Internship hots up as stu-

dents completely forget their

research topics.This happened when the assistant faculty dean

who also doubles as the department Mr. TaakoEdema head made it mandatory that internshipplacement was a course unit contributing to thestudents finalInternship hots up as students completely forgettheir research topics. This happened when theassistant faculty dean who also doubles as thedepartment head made it mandatory that intern-ship placement was a course unit contributing tothe students final transcript. This got many

fumbling and flying onto boda bodas to head to

their respective homes in search of placement.Those who thought they would dodge were disap-pointed when the head told them that you notworth to be a university student if you dont have

enough connections to get you an internshipplace. But luckily for them NECI has come totheir rescue and giving out internship placementsif you are willing to dig. Coupled with this mademost forget their research topics since many hadbeen concocted at last minute.

Discussion groups

taken to the mosquito

netsWith ever increasing complication ofmath oriented course units like ka-kungulu's econometrics with confus-ing b1 with a cap, many people haveturned to writing out application let-ters inviting their potential targetsto be their discussants. Those withalready got discussant have beenseen hiding under mosquito nets asthey dont want to be over heard

transferring poison to their UN sus-

pecting partners.

Neci take sensitisation to radioon Saturday 25th a local association took environ-

mental awareness to the next level by taking theirbukugu to kamuli broadcasting services KBSfm to

educate the public. These were butaleja, ahabwe

Raymond, mabirizi Julius, miss kateme Martha and

me the writer sema nare.

Get the excepts of what transpired I the follow uppages

Parties arise from the deadWith the next elections slowly but steadly movingclose, it has seen the resurrection of defunct asso-ciations/political parties. This was with the reap-pearance of eresa after a long time out of the lime-light not after the miserable collapse of their gardento the monkeys. To the unknowing eresa is the asso-ciation for all students coming from the east of the

Nile.The other group was the final stamping of bankosain

namasagali after a long time of rumours and prom-ises. Their re-emergence so they elect their execu-tive body. This makes them join the list of existingassociations like banyakore kwetaranaa group of allwesterners especially banyakore, the discussantsbokawho specialise in issues of nagongera and chop-ping math numbers full time. Even the freshers have

the lets boycott freshers ball groupwith their ownstructures in place. So dont be surprised if the next

election is contested along those lines.


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Lovers issue

Who is supposed to market

the course?????

quoting the then faculty dean the course has been on going in Europeand other developed countries..the

jobs are available on an international scaleand locally in environment related organisa-

tions like the NEMA and others

But then how do those doing similarly re-lated course like B.Sc. Environmental sci-

ence and other environmental consciouscourses that dont come to mind right away.

Should we say we in the game for the fit-

test because how you expect us to competeglobally if we dont even know our stand

locally?

Quoting one of the lecturers,I even dont know what is supposed to

teach because whats in the course outline

has no documented material and is not easyto find. Whats available is irrelevant to

Uganda as a case study

So if those who are meant to be the lightat the end of the dark tunnel dont also

seem to know what they feeding us, thenwhom should we trust to guide us along themeandering journey. Are we supposed to

make up what to present to potential em-ployers. Should we simply pick up the docu-ment and file it with hope of findinggreener pastures elsewhere like furtheringour studies I other alluring fields and dumpthe whole dream of being Ugandas first

bunch of professional resource economists.

Quoting another lecturer during one ofthose heated moments in class during anargumentbeen hearing this debate about a missinglecturerthe institution will go on

even if one person leaves

Could it be that the students are fore see-ing a bleak future now that the pioneering

lectures they started with are out of thesystem hence the collapse if the institutionis downright inevitable. Have the lecturerslost the respect of the students and arenow looked at as jokers moving around with

files for quack books.

quoting on of the studentspeople I have been in the

field.interacted with those peo-

ple..they cant wait to receive us stu-

dents to explain to them some of the tech-nicalities to these politicians.

Does this imply that those who are com-

plaining about the course just dont under-stand the field they signed up for from thevery beginning or is it the case them beingpioneers they cant stand the weight of

expectation hovering their shoulders. Alsothe fact that the course was availed onscholarship would it be a factor for theconfusion. In these hard economic condi-

tions any one would take up courses thatfree of charge then complain later whenthe going gets tough. Are the students be-

ing short sited in their demands becausecountry wide the jobs are un available. Soshould they stick to forming their associa-tions like NECI, EREAS with the goal ofseeking funding form already establishedNGOs that seek to partner with them.

The debate is thrown back to your court

and it runs across many other courses with

their fancy names


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Lovers issue

Abakugu ku_radioThe show kicked off with the team meeting theprogrammes directorTo clarify our identity and signing the visitorbooks. The show was organised and bank rolled by

the area Mp hon. Andrew Allen.

Interaction with the programmes manager showedthat he had complaints about leaders not sensitis-ing the locals. Stories people cutting down evenmango trees for charcoal trade. To make an extrabuck that they even dip charcoal in water to makeit heavy urban dwellers were weighing the char-coal they bought. There were also multiple casesof corruption even in society.Thats why he was even dismayed at the absence

of technical who dont show up for the talk showsbecause they have got environmental talk show onMonday but will be changing to Sunday at 8;30pmto 11pm.On another level the district has no money andhe admitted to have been a leader but doesnt

understand how budget got no allocation for theenvironment. He assumed that maybe no pushersbsc. nre qualify then will there be technical peo-ple in the field.

From the previous shows he summarised afew

main areas of contention. That callers aredivided into two groups;those who keep calling are wholly andagainst mainly animal kips want swamps toremain for water, feed

Other groups want land to grow food but thatwetland govt owned.

People think of own life not future kidsNo patriotsOthers dont associate with it (natural envi-

ronment)

after one hour of brushing and screeningour voices , the show was ready t start.

Moderator; introduces the wrong institution na-masagali college university and Spells out namesJulius; speaks welcoming people into the new yearin February giving brief back ground of neci andthat he is the speaker.Martha; talks in lusoga as the only womanbutaleja thanks kbsfm thanks listeners for buyingbattery cells for radio to listen to environmentalissues and sustainable development.

Ahabwe; in english explains that he is the neciexternal project coordinator

as the show proceeds

Julius; explains Obutonde bwensi resources likeland, air but keeps tabs on agricultureResource as god given hence the need for man toremove one resource remain the same.In envt is holistic gives wetland not stop but hw

you use themSustainable devt explains it in lusoga as enkosaette aba endo okukosa

Marth; supplements in lusoga our reasonably tolet future

Ahawe; land forest water envt works in system


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Lovers issue

wetland survive minus lake, tree go down

What happen if we destroy envt?

Forest as water catching dont get water for

swamps dryJulius; give eg busoga govt vs mabira kira waterreduce hence no umeme leads to A4C riot eg abody minus arm butjulius say a head minus bodyequal useless.Butaleja; gives flood rainfall grass Bunyole equalflood frequency due to rice in wetland droughtecheyabush burnin olwiyilathen make us publicawareness ie leader to explain to the masses.

Martha; people got to man ie chain eg radio minuswireAhabwe; talk envt in nxt hr as they head for acommercial break

galimaka programme moderator: mwino kyakuwaobwavu obutu sibyeko akayumba

Martha; how tree keep water?Morning dew keep water and butaleja eg treeplant near house, wind water blow house talksabout people who kulogarain to fall or not evapo-rate from lake ahabwe eg mabira river originatethe nile water.

How you know envt destroyd tutegera li ndi ent

eyonnera

kwocha empira wind blow ash to atmospher tocontaminatim the disease

Rice no wetlandagric on river banks lead to river to fill soil

then floodRiver absorb waste ie buchaffie assimilative

ie mango even being burnt take tabs formedicine

All fruits being boughtagric yield reduce 10bags increase but fall

later need fertilizer kill soil structuremake soil fragmented

How you use evnt minus destroying it

butaleja; personal initiative even small land plantbanana ebigogoleave make manure mulchingokubika

how u use wetland

plant tree afta cuttin

fertilizer upland ricengo like vedco

How about those who burn mango tree for

charcoal

Julius; fene got 2 season and in Namasagali eachbears 30 sell each at 2k each yr makes an aver-age of 200kcharcoal urn the tree once and forget. The estway is to plant na d dont burn trees when thay

are standing. Plant others at the boundary of yourland.Also explains to a caller that neci goin to otherplace so they will be in his area any time fromnow.

In summary final remarks

Butaleja; when cutting tree feels sympathy for it.Ahabwe;policy implemdnt policy mp bugabtla fo

support other stakehold deanMartha; urged the people to come together forthe sake of the environmentJulius; mp kumali to take a personal initiative andstudents at nanmasagali campusSema; urged the people to cut a tree but plantone after comparing digital photos of today and5oyears ago

special thanks go to kbs fmand callers like thercc.


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Lovers issue

UGANDA COULD BE EITHER

A FAMILY OR

REGIONAL AS-

SETthe rate at which Ugandans are getting

worried as a result of the exasperatingautocratic rule, if measurents are to betaken should be more than expectations.

Ignoring the way Uganda is being gov-

erned and considering the form of suc-cession that is being orchestrated by the

false liberators of this already economi-

cally crippled country one would be con-vinced to think that the future of Ugan-

dans is in stupor.What is already cooking in the head ofpresident Museveni is about instituting

either Amama Mbabazi or Muhozi Kain-

erugaba as his successor and this is likeadding salt onto an injury. By all means

unless the heavens intervene, if any of

the above names surfaces for presiden-tial elections, it can go through though

each of them is already stale in the mindsof each and every concerned Ugandans

mind. Not forgetting NRMs tactful ma-

chineries of winning elections fraudu-

lently either through rigging, torturing ofvoters and opponents etc., I foresee the

poor Ugandan voters still languishing in

the hands of these self proclaimed lib-

erators.

If I may pose a question to any con-

cerned Ugandan, why doesnt Museveni

pick a successor from the NRM cardersin the remaining 3 regions of central,

Northern and Eastern?. Does it mean

that they are less experienced than theMuhozis of yesterday? Or dont bear any

military credentials as the above two?For the case of Mbabazi the little timethat he has spent in the office of the

premier has manifested to us what we

should expect of him if he happens to bea president of this already economically

dwindling state. Cases like the Temangalo

saga, oil-contracts saga etc still freshlylinger in the minds of Ugandans, who

mark you, are the 2016 eligible voters.For the case of the oil deals, I cant in

any way vehemently declare that he isguilty because I lack concrete evidence. I

can only add my voice to that of the

other people that he might be guilty be-cause only him out of the three impli-

cated in this scandalous issues practically

refused to step aside and pave way forthe investigations. I am expendably sure

that if he had stepped aside and facts

were unearthed, indeed he might havebeen found guilty, and this could conta-

giously taint his I mage, and hence he

couldnt sell to many Ugandan electorates

who have vowed to totally fight corrup-

tion.

For the case of Muhozi, yes he is a youthand hence a would be darling to them the

youth, but the much autocratic record

that his dad has already set wouldnt play

good for him and the much intended dy-

nasty wouldnt go through. I understand

that apart from the above two names,Janet Museveni is also warming up for

the same calling in case things dont go as

planned. If I critically analyze this lady,she could make a good and appealing Min-


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Lovers issue

ister for Gender and Cultural develop-ment other than a president. Talk of the

likes of Mrs. Kibaki, Mrs. Gba-gbo and

the rest given the influence posed ontheir husbands in terms of running their

countries can make better presidentsthan this Bweranyangi O.G.

Moving away from the ruling party and

reflecting on the major opposition politi-

cal party in which many helpless Ugandanshave always placed their forlorn hope,

the disease of dynastism has also started

eating it up. The recent pronouncement

of its party president while on a certainradio station in the Western region that

his wife Winnie Byanyima is ready and incapability to lead this country as presi-

dent left me flabbergasted and in a state

of pandemonium. This is the man whom Ihave always regarded as non-sectarian;

however, he left me astonished when he

showed that his full weight is behind his

wife if she dares to show interest. Thinkabout a situation where for whichever

reason she becomes the president ofUganda, would you get surprised to hear

that after her it is Anselm she has pro-

posed to succeed her?.

Many people have always idolized Besigye

whether publically or privately not be-

cause he is a presidential material, but

because he has always preached whatlooks like solutions to Ugandas problems.

He has always appeared as someone whois carrying solutions other than problems

for Ugandans, whoever if he has started

to evident signs and symptoms that hecan only deliver his solutions through his

ever abroad wife Byanyima other than

the potential FDC Carders like the likes

of Nandala Mafabi, Salaam Musumba,Abdu Katuntu and the rest, then he is

trying to show that the prowess of FDConly lies in his genealogies. At this point I

cant now get surprised when I hear him

utter that if we dont endorse Byanyima

then we should consider the twice beaten

Mugisha Muntu or even Amanya Mushega.If such happens as the trend is alreadyshowing, then my sane mind tells me that

the difference between Museveni and

Byesigye is their similarity and therefore

we ought to consider none of them.

If Byesigye confesses that he still has

the party at heart and is deeply con-

cerned about its future in Ugandas poli-tics, then he better advices Winnie to

dare not contest for the party card, andinstead leave the race to the highly popu-

larly rising Nandala Mafabi, the intellec-

tual Abdu Katuntu and the AggressiveSalam musumba. If possible, let the con-

test for the party presidency be left to

only the central, northern and eastern

region as this will leave the party concre-tized and Byesigye and his wife Winnie

should play it elderly by remaining neu-tral. If not, I foresee a lot of camps and

infighting in FDC , more so among the big

wigs and at the end they will get divided,weakened and hence giving NRM chance

to sail over them. Byesigye should be re-

minded that the support that FDC enjoys

now has been garnered partly by thesecadres from these regions and not en-

tirely on him and his ever abroad Byany-

ima, and for that reason let chance begiven to any of these regioners to try ,if

not, Uganda could be viewed as either a

family or regional asset.

Bwire Moses2nd yr Natural Resource

EconomicsBusitema University


8/16



Lovers issue

CLIMATE CHANGE

Floods and drought

are going to become more in-

tense and frequent accordingto the current

human practices. Climate

change is bound to get worse

and at the stake is the liveli-

hood of million s of people par-

ticularly in sub Saharan Africa

who depend on rain fed agricul-ture, which calls for affirma-

tive action to minimize the im-

pact of climate change.

Some of the brilliant

preventive polices such as

green technology, resource

substitution the urban wet-

lands that should be conserved

in order to drain away storm

water in case of flooding are

being reclaimed yet a policy on

wards has been in place for

over two decades so every per-son needs to start adapting to

changes that will help them

survive the tough times ahead.

However, this requires mass

awareness drivers, which can

only happen if the policy on cli-

mate change is completed andimplemented.

As we move towards

industrialization, we need to

learn from the European Union

and pursue the growth model

of development to harnesspower from wind, solar, water

and use it efficiently. My sim-

ple advice to developing coun-

tries is not to repeat the mis-

takes of developed countries

whose industrial revolutionthrived from burning fossil fu-

els, releasing massive quanti-

ties of carbon dioxide that fi-

nally resulted into the current

global warming dilemma.

By:

LWETUTTE SAMUEL SEN-

IOR KIBUUKA.

lwetuttesamuelsen-

[email protected]

+256775638676/

+256754020667


9/16



Lovers issue

FROM THE RESIDENT CAMPUS

COMMISONNER

It is profound pleasure that I wel-

come you to this converted issue of

the Namasagali campus satellite andfun in our leisure pages .I commend

the editorial team for their tireless

efforts towards the successful publi-

cation of this issue of the satellite .I

am so proud to have worked with a

team of such devoted men and women.

A word of thanks goes to our be-loved dean of students in charge of

welfare, AA in charge of guild affairs,

campus guild representative coun-

cil ,the faculty dean and his faculty

staff .Thank you for embracing our

ideas and guiding us to this achieve-

ment.

. We hope that the contents of

this magazine will be informative and

inspiring to make a difference in your

knowledge, perceptions and attitudes

towards the various concerns ad-

dressed within.

Finally, the efforts of my fellow

students cannot go unnoticed, thankyou for contributing articles to this

satellite. Your contributions have

helped us produce a formidable maga-

zine that will surely enrich and enter-

tain whoever reads it. Busitema Uni-

versity Pursuing excellence, for God

and my country.

Image from the

past

This is an image taken before these two developedthe campus aura and swell. Compare them todayand in the past..


10/16



Lovers issue

The cage steams to dirt

The gals hostels commonly known as the cage has fallen below even ghetto sanitationand is now on the countdown to the first cholera outbreak in namasagali after theflooding that took father grimes back to England.

The cage drainage system can only be compared to that of bwaise in the rainy seasonas its always flooding with showering water that even the smell has fermented intothat of a poultry farm. Its so bad that even the strongest fragrance has deemed use-less and even the bulbs in there have requested for leave until further notice sincethey cant stand the bad stench so the place is pitch black. Makin bye standers wonder

how the gals mange to clean those secret parts and corners on their body parts. Othergals have opted to increase the amount of make-up they use to the extent that if yougreet them your hands remain with residues of make either oils or lotions. So we call-

ing on the concerned parties to please come thru with the needed changes.

Tanks decorate the compound

At the beginning of the semester the campus pro-cured a batch of huge 10k litre water tanks numberingto 3 and i guess the plan according to how they weredumped round campus were meant to have each hostedwith a reserve tank but to the dismay of many stu-

dents the tanks still lie un used and on the ground.Despite that the area rarely has power; the huge tankif installed would at least help hold water until elec-tricity paid namasagali its usual visits after 3days. Sothe question many have been asking themselves iswhether the campus had plans of decorating the com-

pound with these huge plans or they really have a planfor then because the innovative students of namasa-gali have turned the huge tanks in boxer and nickerhangings to dry their inner garments. Others have

turned them in a certain kind of gym where they

meant there frustration after disappointment fromtheir lover. To those who are financially down theyhave organised bets of up to 3k if one can lift thehuge tank upright thus relieving the kayasias the dayscountdown to allowances.

Fenne substitutes food

Students have been listening totheir health doctors and havemended the advice by munchingaway huge chunks of fenenearlyevery day that it passes bytheir hostels. Those who cant

afford the meagre coins haveopted the middle man role wherethey carry it to their moneyedfriends who buy the whole fenneand the middle man in turn gets

commission in form of fenne.Some have buy the whole feneand store it in their rooms sothey can eat it for breakfast,

lunch, supper and even break-fast on the next day. Some haveeven got wives using feneas baitthanks t6 the song amasandaganemeseza kulya fene.


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Lovers issue

Fashion bites

ladies if planning on wrap-

ping your beautiful thighs up

in a long pair of trousersplease dont wear high

heels or you risk moving

around with a kabawo for

ebintu esp. if you not well

endowed in that department

the other male thing that gives off colour is a christ-

mas tree so boys please limit your cloth colour combi-

nations to 3 or below or u risk being called gay or homo

coz biologically its the female who attract their mate

with colour

Of course a number of gals once in a while what to walk around

with their curves oozing in these flowing party dresses but please i

dont what to see your panty demarcated and standing out of that

smooth dress. I want to imagine how it looks not to begin drawing

it out your body and even weigh it using my imaginary weights

Then there are those who feel are fashionably adapt with the

times and want to wear those tiny lingerie and G-strings but please

dont match that with low cut jeans because your buttocks dont

look fan to the eye from the rear view esp. if you once suffered

from those skin diseases

Lastly those if you to wear suit and you

size 14 please dont wear size 20 or you

risk being reduced to person when inher-

ited it from his grandparent and playing

mwana akula

I dig you like a farmer

heard some one sometime back rap a line that caught myear..

.am not a farmer but i dig you like a farmer.

this gave me the thought that if a gal and you single andwere not mingling but had singled a farmer what wouldyou expect in that package.

farmers are normally think in past tested and stick to thetried and tested path even when enjoying the little dirtythings in life so don't expect them to go probably stick to

missionary.ing styling those sex and wont be breakingtheir backs digging up dusted copies of Kama sutra tryingout all those cool styles with their slutty names like wheel

barrow and so forth

cause farmers work in seasons don't expect them to hityou up when you are in your Ps cause they know when it

rains it pours and some times hits like hurricane

wish i knew

a crude farmer knows Darwin's law of competition of thefittest and stresses the point of working and preparinghis ground to streaking clean so he probably will be shav-ing your plot just to make sure everything go to plan bit

lest you can with stand his tinkling cause his tools be

crude

thanks to global warming he will knows the rules of irriga-tion and he be spreading that magic water to feed andthat's go keep you for at least 9months with no complains

but on your reservesfarmers are conscious bout the effect of toxic waste intheir environment and how it go affect their yield sodon't expect to eat fast food garbage accumulatingwaste in your tummy and go round farting around like a

toad crushed by an all dirty gum boot

and if your gifts are not complete with out fragrancethen worry not cause the farmer need not to buy causehis clothes are the master mix and his feet are the jew-elled fingers to work their magic in his gum boots is thewell rounded shaped bottle to package his shit cause the

stench in their is multi million dollar.


12/16



Lovers issue

[email protected]

When love sucksAt campus have seen many humans drown in the allure of falling in love scoring the chance of having

someone to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, be patient with you one of those days when you suckto the fullest, laugh at even your lamest attempt at cracking a joke and at the end of the night wish

you sweet dreams after along tight squeeze.At this stage no one cares about the moment coming to an end and we dread the moment the windinglove road comes to a dead end under the unfamiliar of all circumstances and the most childish andlamest of excuses.Quite a number of reasons prop up when the end is finally flashed on the silver screen and the cinemadoors are shut closed till further notice. Have compiled some below feel free to relate with one;

we were young and didnt know what we were doing

Why go into a realationshit well knowing you below the age to consume it in all its colours. And whatage are we talking about here; is it thats constitutionally accepted in this case 18 or does the age

here refer to a mental state of the mind and not the figures that pop every time you flash your birth

certificate.

we wanted to give each other some space

Who said In love you are tied to each other like a rope to a tree or a hand bag to a girls arm with allthe consumables that come along within it. Is this space imaginary that you cant really geolocate it on

the earth may be am going to Karamoja in search of my space. So why did you realise now that yourspace has been encroached on and besides why didnt you demarcate it at the beginning of the

raltionshit in the first place like we used to do it in primary school by telling our then girlfriends ourdos and donts like we were taking them to a prison.

our time was done

So you initailly came into the relationshit with a time frame in mind. What happened to the fairy talesabout anfd they lived happily their after and if you willingly entered a relationshit with a time why

you soaking your pillow tears and disgusted every time a love song plays on radio.

am done with the opposite sex women and men till firther notice

now that you done with them have you finally learnt how to love yourself. Why did you stop lovingyourself and thught the whole world gives you what you cant give yourself? Because true happiness

starts with loving youI mean you. So are you turning to gay/lesbian or the whole species?

we shall be just friends

what makes you think its as easy as done and heard of the adage we can share a bed but not the

dreams how sure are you that that person thinks the same as you and will simply switch off the but-ton and everything will be normal like nothing ever happened. I know you thinking about lovingmaturely and things come and go but why must you as a person go and not others and what if you

meant the whole world to them.


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Lovers issue

Over niteWith the dry climate and weather has triggered theneed for a higher power to and as the adage goes/where there is a will there is a way. This has per-

fectly to Namasagali fledglings are fast turning tothe holy grail to see them through their mountingproblems

like hiding form their discussants in Bagdad, strug-gling to get girlfriends if you cant afford a cool lap-

top complemented by a cooler bicycle or some heav-enly facing sharp shooter for shoes.The trend has been pioneered by the like of mr.

Bagdad in the company of other serial believers whoon Friday night can be seen trekking to the holy

place to meet blessings from their maker.Even the politicians have not been left behind on theovernight trend and hoped onto the band wagon

thanks to the fact that the elections are seeminglydrawing closer and so is the demand for a Jesus

clean image demanded for by the electorate whowont think twice to bundle you out in a blinker of an

eye.

Those in public offices like church committees havealso taken the opportunity to clean their images to

wipe themselves of Saturdays transgression with

the daughters of eve. Others seek the almighty toguide them along the temptation filled road they will

be trekking come Saturday night.


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Lovers issue

London clubs fail ivory

coast

First it was asamoah gyan formerly of Sun-

derland who followed up his world cup misswith another penalty taken miserably thatwas saved by the a candidate for player of

the tourney mweene.

Next at the final stage that had been laidout for ivory coast to steal the trophy therepresentatives of the Londoners still did

their magic to fail ivory coast.

Step up first was Chelsea's Didier drogbawho after being awarded a cheap penalty

showed the world why they did deserve anyfavours from karma when he took a goal kick

instead of a spot blasting the ball over the

bar and out of the stadium.

Next up after Zambia had given ivory coast

the mother of all chances when they missedthe game killing penalty. The stage had beenset for arsenals flying winger to steal thespoils and win it for ivory coast but alas theLondon curse was hovering over his head.

And he kicked his spot kick super wide pastthe goal posts and into a by standing cameraman. With all these errors its not surprising

their clubs lie in mid table mediocrity.

1.

Hello I want my moneyI want to speak to theowner of the phone

2.

Who is this speaking sir???

He answers shut up your beingused..i said I want my money

..stupid

3.Fuckthe whole thing was ajokepapa recorded some who wanted hismoney so keeps playing the joke on

his unsuspecting friends

papas joke In pictures..i want my money

papa recorded some guy angrily demanding for his money and goes around fooling his

friends to explain to this debtor that he will pay back. Initially you believe its a genuine

phone call yet its recorded

4.Those around bustinto laughter

Strongest man in

bagdad

3 Applying the wushu

2 Testing one two

1The tanksnugly says

you wont carry

me!!!

4 Imagine what Ican do to a gal

5 Some body tellmununa to send that

amukeke


15/16



Lovers issue

Congratulations!!! mwa mwa


16/16



Lovers issue

Dabos o-3 singlesFebruary 14th turned from a red to a blue heartbreak show down as the team dubbed the dabosaka those with wives and girlfriends was whitewashed by the singles aka the gamblers and disap-

pointed and minus wives and girlfriends either.

The match kicked off miss officiated by the cam-pus head coach who also doubles as the sportssecretary with heavy dominance from the dabos asthey showed the skill on the Namasagali turf thathelped them sweep the ladies off their feet and

into their muscular arms.

However the singles popularly known as number-less driversin reference to the vehicles form

Mombasa that have no number plates cruised backinto the game with kickbacks from the flying sin-gles. Obuto Solomon crushed in when katikwespilled a screaming short form Kijali back into play

making many neutrals wonder our dear goal keeperwill manage to keep that mama of his from the

hungry hyenas patrolling Namasagali.

The dabos tried to pull back into the game butshowed all signs of the wear and tear of theirnightly shift duties working in the cage. B_wirethen smashed in after a clean one two touch fromhis team mates making the neutrals wonder what

his doing on the singles team yet he possessessuch a superb short on target. Obuto the chieftormentor then added salt to the dripping woundsof the dabos when he pulled off a Messi like runleaving Sentebbesand church brotherin his dustto round off a 3nil routing of the DE shelveddabos team. Gerald popped in with a last minutesucker punch but as usual he was offside.

The match then took a another twist when the

dabos goalie packed his bags and left the playingfield living many believing that he probably leave

his partner yearning on those days he fails to dullyperform those demanding night push ups.

The man of the match was Nka_shiela who looked

all full of energy and was burning to perform

thanks to the fact that he wont be performingany of that energy consuming nocturnal duties

until further notice in the fore see able future.

Special stats are awarded to the rccfor finallyshowing his true colours that his now a dabo and

so dont ask too many questions when he comes

along with something beautiful on his re-election

bid. Sentebe for showing there is love in church

too.

game of the month

Matatu was once a game fo low lives andgamblers who were living on lifes edge.Back then draught and ludo wher the

games to play if life had given you a rawdeal at convincin the fairer sex to be

your lovdr. Bt with the number of cou-ples standin at a record low and the

singlds sky rockettin due to hard times.Every one is sharpenin his skill at the

game of die,spade. Flowers.

Its played esp in the morning as mem-bers munch over fene, with a bunch ofsupporters gunnin behind their favorite

stars like bwire, ojanji and my munamong others..

busitema satellite vol 1 issue 2

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