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Byakuren Training ExperienceGloria Ng

10/13/13

I was in third grade when for one week my teacher invited guest speakers from different professions toshare about the meaning of work. While my classmates knew exactly what they wanted to be when

they grew up, I was lost. Not only that, the culmination of the week was a report-back. We weresupposed to share what we wanted to be when we grew up. I envied my classmatestheir confidence,their belief, their knowledge of their careers. With each passing day, my own doubts and anxiety grew.

When I found my career on the last day, I dashed home to tell my mom. She said: That's impossible!Have you met any authors? You can't make a living from that! Year after year I piled on the can'ts,

shouldn'ts, couldn'ts, and wouldn'ts.

My writing became a mere vehicle for diaries, poetry, fancies. In college, I submitted a few nonfiction

pieces to anthologies and got published. For over a decade afterwards, I continued to think of myself as

a nonfiction author.

By the time I found Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism in 2005, I was kelp drifting in a vast ocean without

a stronghold. I was going through life without an anchor, without a foundation. Whatever footing I had

felt like quicksand and every new experience became an addiction to know more about something else.My work and educational life reflected my aimless indulgence to seek myself. So when I found this

practice on February 3rd, 2005, and found out I could chant for anything I wanted, I chanted for a strong

foundation, to enable the actions in my daily life to align with my core intent. I seized the moment. I nolonger wanted to waste away my life.

One month after chanting, I started teaching at an after school program. The very next month I enrolled

in an online writing course. Yet, I continued to relegate my writing desires to hobby territory.

Realizing 2013 was my last year as a Young Women's Division member, I wanted something to show

for it, especially in my writing. I wanted to take my writing seriously. This was the year to do it.

Having missed many byakuren shifts while adjusting to life as a stay-at-home mother of two young

children, I redetermined to make a byakuren shift every month. The next three byakuren shifts I couldmake in March, April and May were all memorial shifts. Every shift made me ponder about my legacy,

about the foundation I was setting far into the future. After the first shift, I took my writing more

seriously and continued with the online writing course I never completed in 2005. After the second

shift, I realized I was a fiction writer. After the third shift, I completed the first manuscript I latersubmitted to a magazine for publication.

The fourth memorial was for my grandmother's passing in June. I finally conducted a private memorialin July after she was interred. That month, as I researched the genre I longed to write in, I found my

true genre by August. The genre took me completely by surprise. Yet, when I recognized the calling

and passion in my blood, I established a writing discipline. In September, I started a book lengthprojectonly to take a detour when two minor characters broke out for their own short story spin-off.

That story became a novelette, which I determined and actually self-published on October 2nd to

commemorate Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism touching the Americas in 1960.

Yesterday, I made my last byakuren memorial shift as a Young Women's Division member. When my

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shift ended, I joined an author who was giving encouragement to an attendee. I was so inspired, I wenthome to complete a short story that started with 632 words last month and ended up with 4,337 words

last night. This morning, when I woke up, I made a new goal: I want to complete, submit and/or self-

publish a short story every month, even while completing my last assignment for the online writing

course by the end of this year.

I am so grateful for encountering Nichiren Daishonin's Buddhism. I look forward to making a living

with my writing, sharing the joy of living my mission with others and helping others to find andactualize theirs. Another treasure I received at yesterday's memorial shift was bumping into a pioneer

member during my five-minute break. I asked her how she shared this practice with people. She told

me three things: Live your life. Stand on study. And the last and most important thing is to respond tosensei, the person who actually brought this practice out of Japan to the rest of the world on October

2nd, 1960.

Thank you, Sensei, and thank you all for listening.