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Clark & addison EpisodE XiV - “nl CEntral Champs“

AND ADDISON IN CHICAGO - IN A SMALL BAR NAMED WEAGHMAN’S PARK. THE CUBS ORIGINALLY PLAYED AT WEAGHMAN PARK IN CHICAGO BEFORE TRANSFERRING TO CUBS PARK IN 1919 - WHICH BECAME WRIGLEY FIELD IN 1926. NIGHTLY IN DEPTH DISCUSSIONS OF CUBS AND CHICAGO OCCUR AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. WEAGHMAN’S PARK ONLY SERVES FOOD AND DRINK ORIGINATING FROM ABOVE THE WISCONSIN BORDER . . . SMALL NEIGHBORHOOD WRIGLEY FIELD BAR CALLED WEAGMAN’S PARK WITH ONLY WISCONSIN BEER AND SHEBOYGAN BRATS - A 20 SOMETHING HANGOUT. FOLLOW THE HISTORY OF THE CUBS, BEARS AND BULLS AS SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF JOSH, ELLIOT, SAM, KERI, MELANIE AND FRIENDS . . .

JOSHHEY WILL - WE CERTAINLY SHOWED WHAT WE WERE MADE OF TODAY. THIS IS REMINISCENT OF THE PENNANT DRIVE BACK IN 1908.

WILLYOU BET - TODAY THE CUBS SHOVED IT DOWN THE REST OF THE NL CENTRAL’S THROAT - THE BRAVES DIDN’T STAND A CHANCE.

JOSHYES - WE WENT FOR THE JUGULAR AND GOT BACK BRIGHT RED BLOOD - A DEFINITE KILLING OF THE OPPONENT.

WILLAND THE CELEBRATION - UNBELIEVABLE ALSO. HECK THEY HAD CHAMPAIGN SHOOTING IN THE DUGOUT WITHIN ONE SECOND AFTER THE FINAL OUT.

JOSHYES I WAS RIGHT DOWN THERE BY THE DUGOUT BEFORE I WENT TO WORK - AND SINCE I WAS WORKING I COULDN’T PARTICIPATE IN THE CELEBRATION - SINCE WEAGHMAN’S PARK MANAGEMENT DOESN’T ALLOW ANY DRINKING WHILE AT WORK - LIKE ZERO.

WILLTRUST ME JOSH - NO ONE CAN DRINK WHILE THEY ARE AT WORK - AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU.

JOSHI AGREE - IT WOULD HAVE JUST BEEN FUN TO ENJOY THE TRUE CENTRAL DIVISION TITLE WITH A BEER - BUT OH WELL I’LL JUST HAVE A LEINIES’S AFTER WORK AT MY APARTMENT.

WILLBY THE WAY - ARE YOU STILL LIVING IN THAT EFFICIENCY ON CLARK ?

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JOSHYES - I HAVEN’T FOUND ANYTHING BETTER - BUT I’M STILL MONTH TO MONTH. WHY ?

WILLWELL - WE MAY HAVE AN OPENING IN OUR HOUSE IF YOU ARE INTERESTED.

JOSHDON’T YOU GUYS LIVE.......

WILLYES - WE’RE OUT MORE TO OHARE - A BIT FURTHER THAN YOU ARE NOW FROM WEAGHMAN’S PARK.

JOSHI REALLY DON’T WANT TO LIVE FAR AWAY FROM WEAGHMAN’S PARK OR WRIGLEY. I’M JUST THAT ATTACHED TO THE CUBS.

WILLNO KIDDING - MORE THAN ANYONE I KNOW.....MAYBE EXCEPT FOR MR. W. JUST COMING IN HERE TO CELEBRATE WITH EVERYONE ELSE.

JOSHMR. W. DOESN’T OUTWARDLY CELEBRATE - TRUST ME - MAYBE IN HIS OWN WAY HE MAY CELEBRATE - AND I NOW DO BELIEVE HE IS OLD MAN WRIGLEY’S GHOST.

WILLWHY ?

KERIBECAUSE BOTH JOSH AND I HAVE SEEN THIS GUY WHO HAS NO FRIENDS AND HAS THE VERY BEST SEAT IN WRIGLEY - AND NEVER SAY A WORD TO ANYONE.

WILLARE YOU SURE ?

JOSHDEFINITELY ! THE GUY IS JUST TOO WEIRD TO BE HUMAN !

WILLMAYBE HE’S JUST QUIET -

KERINO - HIS AFFECT, MOOD, THE WAY HE LOOKS AT PEOPLE - HE IS THE REAL OLD MAN WRIGLEY GHOST - THIS YEAR IS SPECIAL AND HE HAS COME BACK TO HAUNT WRIGLEY FIELD. IT IS THE TRUTH. OLD MAN WRIGLEY IS AMONGST US.

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JOSHYOU ARE CORRECT KERI - HE DOESN’T GO BACK TO ROCKFORD - HECK WE’VE HAD GUYS FOLLOW HIM OUT OF HERE AND HE JUST VAPORIZES - THEY SEE HIM AND THEN HE’S GONE.

WILLTO ROCKFORD.

KERINO TO HEAVEN OR WHEREVER GHOSTS HANG - IT IS JUST THAT WEIRD - WE KNOW THIS YEAR IS SPECIAL WITH LOU AND ALL. IT JUST IS.

WILLWELL THEN WHY DOESN’T THE TRIBUNE CATCH ONTO THIS WITH A FEATURE STORY - OR THE CUBS WEB SITE ?

KERINO ONE WOULD BELIEVE ANY OF THIS.

WILLAND JOSH THAT BACK TABLE WANTS A WHEAT AND AMBER LEINIES AND 4 BRATS WITH THE WORKS.

KERIOK - JUST DON’T BELIEVE US WILL - THERE IS NO WAY TO PROVE GHOSTS - BUT HERE THIS IS OBVIOUS.

WILLNO - I AGREE THIS YEAR CINCHING THE CENTRAL DIVISION SO EARLY - WOW - IT IS REALLY SPECIAL !

KERINOT ONLY THAT - THE BEARS AND BULLS AND BLACKHAWKS WILL COMPETE THIS YEAR. WELL THAT IS ACCORDING TO SAM !

WILLSO YOU TWO BACK TOGETHER AGAIN ?

KERIYES - AFTER A MELANIE SCARE - BUT I’M GETTING ACCUSTOMED TO MELANIE SCARES. SHE IS A CONSTANT FLIRT. THERE ARE NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE HER - NOT EVEN SCUM OF THE EARTH - BECAUSE SHE IS BELOW THE EARTH.

JOSHWHAT IF SHE CAME HERE TONIGHT TO CELEBRATE IN WRIGLEYVILLE - RIGHT HERE IN WEAGHMAN’S PARK ?

KERINO - I’M SURE SHE’S AT BERNIE’S - MANY MORE GUYS HANG THERE - OR PERHAPS SHE WENT TO THE SMART BAR - BUT SHE’S JUST NOT SMART ENOUGH TO GO TO THE SMART BAR.

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WILLI HEARD SHE HAD A DATE AND WENT TO TUSCANY’S ON CLARK.

KERIGOOD - THAT WILL KEEP HER OUT OF SAM’S AND MY RELATIONSHIP - I HOPE SHE GOES THERE EVERY NIGHT AND BALLOONS UP - THE FOOD THERE IS SO GOOD. WOW - I HOPE IT’S NOT SAM SHE IS AT TUSCANY’S WITH - I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT THAT !

WILLNO - I HEARD IT’S SOME GUY SHE MET ON THE RED LINE - A REAL LOSER. HE IS A SOX FAN AND NEVER DRINKS UNDER 20 BEERS AT A CRACK.

JOSHWHEW - WHAT GOT INTO MELANIE ?

KERIDON’T GO FEELING SORRY FOR HER JOSH - I MEAN SHE PROBABLY DESERVES THIS SLUDGE OF A GUY - WHO KNOWS - MAYBE WE’LL LUCK OUT AND SHE’LL MARRY THIS SLUG AND SPEND HER LIFE WITH THE LOW LIFES ON THE SOUTH SIDE.

WILLWELL - EVER SINCE YOU TOLD MELANIE YOU WEREN’T GOING TO THE NORTHERN GAME IN MINNEAPOLIS - WHICH THEY LOST DUE TO INADEQUATE FAN SUPPORT - WELL SHE HAS GIVEN UP ON YOU JOSH.

KERISHE KNOWS YOU’LL PROBABLY NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING.

JOSHGIVE ME A BREAK - YOU SOUND LIKE MY PARENTS. ALL I WANT TO DO IS JUST ENJOY LIFE AND THE CUBS - I’VE LIVED WITH THIS TEAM SINCE I WAS BORN AND I WILL DIE WITH THEM - I’M DOING FINE - I PAID MY OWN WAY VIA SCHOLARSHIP FOR MY MBA/LAW PROGRAM AT THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO. I SUPPORT MYSELF WITH TIPS FROM WEAGHMAN’S PARK - I’M CAUSING NO TROUBLE FOR ANYONE. BACK OFF.

KERIBUT YOU HAVE THE BIG POTENTIAL JOSH ! YOU AREN’T RAMPING !

JOSHSO WHAT - ALL OF THAT WILL COME -THIS IS HEAVEN RIGHT NOW AND I’M ENJOYING IT TO THE MAX.

WILLYES - BACK OFF KERI - TALK BASEBALL - YOU ARE GETTING TOO SERIOUS LIKE ALL GIRLS DO. JOSH WILL RAMP - GIVE HIM TIME. CHILL !

KERIOK - BOY DO I LIKE TALKING BASEBALL - LOTS TO CATCH UP ON -

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JOSHLIKE THAT SECOND BALL THAT WAS STUCK IN THE IVY THAT EDMONDS KNOCKED OUT ON A PENCE TRIPLE.

WILLYES - THEY SAY THAT BALL STUCK THERE SINCE BATTING PRACTICE - THOUGH SOME FEEL IT WAS A PRANK.

KERII THINK EDMONDS WAS AS SURPRISED AS ANYONE -

JOSHAND WE NOW HAVE INSTANT REPLAY - BUT LOU SAYS WE’LL HAVE TO REPLAY THE REPLAY - OR REPLACE THE REPLAY OFFICIALS - LIKE THE NFL AT TIMES NEEDS TO.

KERIBUT REPLAY IS JUST FOR HOMERS - NOT PITCHES OR ANY BIG STUFF.

WILLBUT IT IS COMING - I FEEL THEY WILL HAVE NO CHOICE IF FOLKS CAN’T LIVE WITH BAD CALLS.

JOSHWELL THE CALLS HAVE GONE OUR WAY THIS YEAR - AND THE BREWERS HAVEN’T CAUGHT A BREAK ANYWHERE.

WILLLOOK AT OUR MINORS - IOWA CUBS WIN THE PACIFIC COAST LEAGUE - DAYTONA CUBS WIN THE FLORIDA LEAGUE.

JOSHAND TONY THOMAS WAS 14 OF 29 IN THE PLAYOFFS DOWN THERE - A REAL HITTING TERROR - WHO MAY BE WITH US BEFORE THE END OF THE YEAR - BUT WHERE DO YOU PUT HIM ?

KERIMAYBE RIGHT FIELD FOR FUKUDOME - NO RAP AGAINST HIM PERSONALLY - BUT HE CAN’T HIT A TEE BALL.

WILLTHAT WOULD WORK - BUT IT WOULD BE SAD TO SEE FUKUDOME GO TO PEORIA, IOWA, OR DAYTONA. BUT LOU WILL DO WHAT HE NEEDS TO FOR MOTIVATION AND THE TEAM. I WOULD BET LOU GETS FUKUDOME GOING FOR THE PLAYOFFS.

KERIAND THIS GUY FROM TAIWAN - CHEN - IS REALLY A SUPERB PITCHER FOR THE DAYTONA CUBS. HE KILLED PALM BEACH IN THE PLAYOFFS SIX LOVE.

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JOSHWELL THE HEART OF OUR TEAM IS REALLY THE TEAM - DEREK, THERIOT, DEROSA, RAMIREZ, SORIANO, EDMONDS, SOTO, AND MAYBE NOW HOFFPAVIR FROM IOWA IN RIGHT.

WILLAND THE PITCHING IS UNBELIEVABLE - WITH ALL STARTERS AND RELIEVERS PERFORMING WELL - Z’S NO HITTER AND SAMARDZIJA......

KERIYES THE TRUE HUNK ON THE CUBS - PLAYS FOOTBALL AND BASEBALL - DOES IT ALL. NOW HE’S HAVING BEER SHOWERS - AND LOU WANTS HIM TO PITCH UNDER PRESSURE. HECK I LIKE NOTRE DAME NOW JUST BECAUSE OF SAMARDZIJI.

JOSHBUT OUR TRUE LEADER IS CARLOS - I KNOW HE’S HAD TENDONITIS AND A “ DEAD ARM “ - BUT WITHOUT HIM DOWN THE STRETCH - WE AIN’T GONNA MAKE IT. IT IS THAT SIMPLE.

WILLWELL OUR COACHES AND SCOUTS WHO PICKED UP EDMONDS AFTER THE CARDINALS THOUGHT HE WAS WASHED UP DESERVE CREDIT - HE CAN STILL FLAT OUT PLAY.

KERIAND SOTO WAS THE TOP ROOKIE IN THE LEAGUE FOR AUGUST - WHAT A PICKUP - AND HAS HE IMPROVED AT THE PLATE AND ON THE FIELD.

WILLYES THIS YEAR IS REALLY CLICKING FOR THE CUBS - WE WILL EVEN WIN THE CLEMENTE AWARD GIVEN BY SELIG AND VERA CLEMENTE.

KERIWHAT IS THAT ?

WILLTHE BIG VOLUNTEER - COMMUNITY SERVICE AWARD. RYAN DEMPSTER IS THE CHAMP OF THIS. HECK HE’S AT CHILDREN’S HOSPITAL, HUMANE SOCIETY, BLAINE ELEMENTARY, AND ALL THE CUB CHARITIES.

JOSHHUMANE SOCIETY ? DOES THIS MEAN ALL THE DOGS ARE CUBS FANS NOW ?

KERIVERY FUNNY JOSH - HE IS JUST THE GUY. BUT I DO KNOW THAT Z AND SOTO WENT TO HUMBOLDT PARK FOR THE KIDS NEW BALL PARK DEDICATION.

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JOSHTHE ONLY NEGATIVE HAS BEEN ALFONSO’S NOT RUNNING OUT A LONG SINGLE INTO A DOUBLE.

WILLBUT HE APOLOGIZED - SO IT’S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL - REALLY ISN’T.

KERII BET IT WAS WITH LOU.

JOSHYOU ARE PROBABLY RIGHT - LOU REWARDS HUSTLE.

WILLAND LOU REWARDS MINOR LEAGUERS WHO FLAT OUT PLAY - LOOK MCGHEE, WUERTZ, HOFFPAVIR ALL COME FROM DES MOINES.

JOSHAND GUZMAN AND LIEBER CAME OFF THE DISABLED LIST. WE ARE CLICKING AND HEALTHY !

KERIAND HECK THIS GUY HILL IN IOWA HAD 4 FINGERS SAWED OFF FROM A POWER SAW, REATTACHED, AND HIT 432 IN JULY - THE ENTIRE ORGANIZATION IS WINNING.

JOSHWELL RAMIREZ WAS BOOED HEAVILY IN PITTSBURGH - BUT THAT IS NORMAL FOR PITTSBURGH - THEY NEVER KEEP GOOD PLAYERS - LOOK AT BONDS.

KERIWE HAVE REAL GUYS PLAYING BALL EVERYWHERE THROUGHOUT THE CUBS ORGANIZATION THIS YEAR. HECK ATKINS IN IOWA IS KILLING PEOPLE WITH HIS PITCHING - GUYER ON RYNO’S TEAM IN PEORIA - ALL OF THESE GUYS ARE JUST FLAT OUT PLAYING.

JOSHGOES BACK TO THE FACT - WHERE DO YOU PUT THESE GUYS IF THEY MOVE UP TO CHICAGO - YOU ONLY HAVE NINE SPOTS ON THE FIELD.

WILLI’M CERTAIN THE CUBS BRASS HAS ALL THIS WORKED OUT WELL AHEAD OF TIME.

JOSHAND MAYBE NEXT YEAR IT WILL BE MARK CUBAN CALLING THE SHOTS - WHO KNOWS - IF ZELL WOULD SEAL THE DEAL FOR SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY WANTS THIS TEAM.

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KERIBUT THE PRICE TAG IS ONLY 1.3 BILLION - THAT’S A TON OF CASH FOR ANYONE.

WILLBUT WE WILL BE EXPANDING TOWARDS WAVELAND OR CLARK WITH STADIUM CLUBS AND ALL THE BIG SHOT STUFF THAT THE YANKS AND THE HIGH PRICE TEAMS HAVE.

KERIIT MAY CHANGE WRIGLEY -

WILLI DOUBT IT - WRIGLEY WILL ALWAYS BE WRIGLEY - ALWAYS.

KERIBUT IF YOU HAVE TO SPEND HUNDREDS TO JUST SIT IN THE BLEACHERS OR SEATS ACROSS THE STREET - NO ONE WILL COME.

JOSHTHAT ASPECT WILL NEVER CHANGE - LOOK WE STILL HAVE A TON OF DAY GAMES - THAT HASN’T CHANGED WITH FORCED LIGHTS FROM THE 80S.

WILLAND JOSH - IF YOU DON’T GET THESE BORDER GUYS WITH STOUT LETTER JACKETS SOME BEER - WELL THEY WILL DIE OF THIRST OR WITHDRAWAL.

KERIDID YOU CARD THOSE GUYS JOSH ? THEY LOOK LIKE TODDLERS ?

JOSHRIGHT AT THE DOOR !

KERIFAKE ID’S - YOU ARE STILL RESPONSIBLE ! RIGHT ?

JOSHYES - ABSOLUTELY - STRICT LIABILITY CRIME - NO DEFENSES - I HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER FORM OF ID PER ILLINOIS LAW IF SUSPICIOUS - OR NOT SERVE THEM AT ALL. SEND THEM HOME.

KERIBUT THEY HAVE THOSE GAUDY LETTER JACKETS ON SAYING STOUT !

WILLYES I KNOW KERI - THAT IS RIVER FALLS - ACTUALLY NOT FAR FROM CHIPPEWA FALLS - THE LEINIES FACTORY.

JOSHTHEY ARE NOW DEMANDING ZUERCHER’S CHEESE. I GAVE THEM ALL SWISS AND THEY ARE ECSTATIC - IN HEAVEN.

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KERIA PLATE -

JOSHNO THREE - YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THESE GUYS CAN EAT AND DRINK !

WILLANY TALK OF YOU GETTING ALL THE ZUERCHER SPECIALTY BRANDS ?

JOSHNOT REALLY - IT IS A VERY SIMPLE BUSINESS MODEL - WHICH THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO SCHOOL OF BUSINESS WOULD FALL OVER ABOUT - BUT IT WORKS.

KERILIKE MCDONALD’S NOT HAVING STEAK OR CAJUN CHICKEN.

JOSHEXACTLY RIGHT - WE HAVE ONE BRAND OF BEER - LEINIES - AND ONE CHEESE FACTORY - ZUERCHER’S - VERY SIMPLE.

WILLI KNOW YOUR BUSINESS IS STARTING TO GO THROUGH THE ROOF - PEOPLE FROM THE SMART BAR, TUSCANY’S, AND EVEN BERNIE’S ARE COMING HERE.

KERII CAN SEE TUSCANY’S - BECAUSE IT ISN’T CHEAP - BUT IT IS OH SO GOOD.

WILLAND THE SMART BAR AND BERNIE’S ALREADY HAVE THEIR CLIENTS - BUT THEY MAY BE DRIFTING OVER HERE FOR A GOOD BRAT - WHO WOULDN’T FOR $2.50.

JOSHWE MAY HAVE TO ADD ON EXTRA HELP ON GAME DAYS - EVEN MR W. HAS SEEMED A LITTLE UPSET ON GAME DAYS BECAUSE OF THE WAIT.

KERIBUT ONCE YOU GET A GIRL JOSH - YOUR DAYS HERE AT WRIGLEY AND WEAGHMAN’S PARK ARE OVER.

JOSHPROBABLY - WE’LL SEE - HELLO ELLIOTT ! WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE OTHER THAN A NL CENTRAL DIVISION TITLE TODAY.

ELLIOTTOH - I JUST KNEW IT WOULD BE A BIG NIGHT AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. ALL THE OTHER PLACES ARE HOPPING ALONG CLARK, ADDISON, AND EVEN WAVELAND.

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KERIHOW IS YOUR JUNIOR HIGH BAND DOING ELLIOTT ?

ELLIOTTGREAT - WE ARE COMPETING AGAIN IN CHAMPAIGN THIS YEAR FOR THE TITLE.

JOSHWOW - I BET YOU’VE GOT SOME GREAT JOB OFFERS FROM ALL OF THIS GREAT WORK AT THE SCHOOL.

ELLIOTTOH - IT’S BEEN GREAT - I’VE RECEIVED MANY OFFERS FOR PRIVATE LESSONS - AND I’M FLAT OUT FULL OF STUDENTS. HECK - EVEN THEIR PARENTS WANT LESSONS.

WILLWELL THAT IS INSPIRING - YOU’VE FOUND YOUR NICHE.

ELLIOTTNOT REALLY - ALL I WANT TO DO IS ACT - BUT I CAN’T SEEM TO FIND THE EXACT SPOT.

KERIWHAT ABOUT ALL THE STUFF GOING ON DOWNTOWN ? THERE MUST BE A TON OF OPENINGS FOR YOUNG GUYS LIKE YOU WANTING TO RAMP IN THIS ARENA.

ELLIOTTTHERE IS - IN FACT CHICAGO IS SECOND ONLY TO NEW YORK FOR ACTOR OPPORTUNITIES IN THE US.

WILLTHAT IS PRETTY NEAT - YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD HAVE NO PROBLEM FINDING YOUR ACTING NICHE.

ELLIOTTWELL I’VE BEEN THE BACKUP, UNDERSTUDY, SUB FOR ALL KINDS OF PLAYS - BUT NEVER THE BIG KAHUNA.

KERISO WHAT IS GOING ON NOW ?

ELLIOTTWELL I’M AUDITIONING FOR A PART IN PRIVATE LIVES AT THE CITY LIT. I WAS ALMOST USED IN BUDDY HOLLY, AND MACBETH CALLED AND WANTED ME TO AUDITION THIS MONTH DOWN AT THE IMAGINATION THEATER. PLUS THERE IS A TON OF CHRISTMAS STUFF - BUT THAT’S NOT MY GIG SINCE IT IS SO SUPERFICIAL.

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JOSHYOU LIKE THE DEEP SCRIPTS WITH MEANINGS - OR ONES LEFT TO INTERPRETATION - RIGHT ?

ELLIOTTEXACTLY !

WILLBUT ALL IN ALL ELLIOTT - YOU HAVE TO BE GRATIFIED ABOUT YOUR SCHOOL BAND DOING SO WELL - KICKING BUTT AROUND THE STATE.

ELLIOTTOH - IT’S BEEN GREAT, EXHAUSTING, AND..........

KERIAND WHAT ?

ELLIOTTWELL EVERYTIME I GET A BIG TIME BAND OPPORTUNITY AT A BETTER HIGH END SCHOOL DISTRICT - THE PARENTS, KIDS, AND ADMINISTRATORS ALL SHOW UP AND CRY, PLEAD, BEG, AND WRESTLE ME TO STAY - I JUST CAN’T LEAVE THEM.

JOSHELLIOTT - YOU ARE WAY TOO FRAGILE - LET IT GO - THEY WILL BE LEAVING YOU WHEN THEY GRADUATE AND MOVE ON.

KERIYES ELLIOTT - I’M A GIRL AND WOULDN’T PUT UP WITH THAT - THEY SHOULD BE HAPPY YOU ARE MOVING UP - TRYING OUT FOR A SPOT IN MCBETH DOWNTOWN.

ELLIOTTYOU’D THINK SO - BUT THEY ARE SO OVERWHELMING ABOUT ME LEAVING - I JUST CANNOT DO IT - I’M TOO ATTACHED TO THESE KIDS - AND MANY OF THE PARENTS ARE REALLY NICE.

WILLTHAT IS COOL - MOST TEACHERS COMPLAIN BITTERLY ABOUT BAD PARENTS.

ELLIOTTTHIS IS A SPECIAL PLACE - BUT I CAN BARELY AFFORD TO LIVE -

KERIWELL HERE IS A LEINIES ON ME ELLIOTT.

WILLAND I’LL GET YOU A BRAT FOR $2.50.

JOSHAND I’LL COUGH UP A ZUERCHER CHEESE PLATTER.

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KERINOT TOO SHABBY - WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR ?

JOSHSO ANY GIRLS OR GUYS ELLIOTT ?

ELLIOTTNO - NOT REALLY - I’M STILL TRYING TO FIGURE MYSELF OUT.

WILLCOME ON ELLIOTT - YOU KNOW WE ARE OK IF YOU ARE GAY - THERE ARE TONS OF GAY CUB FANS - BESIDES 7% OF THE POPULATION IS GAY - AND IT IS NO BIG DEAL.

ELLIOTTWELL I THINK I’M BOTH OR NEITHER - HECK I EVEN WENT TO MASS AND ASKED THE PRIEST FOR HELP AFTERWARDS AND HE DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

JOSHYOU WENT UP TO A PRIEST AND ASKED HIM TO HELP YOU WITH THIS - MY GOD - YOU ARE BOLD !

ELLIOTTI DIDN’T KNOW WHERE TO TURN - I CAN’T AFFORD PSYCHIATRY - IT’S NOT IN OUR HEALTH PLAN - BESIDES MOST PSYCHIATRISTS WOULDN’T HANDLE THIS GENDER DYSPHORIA STUFF ANYWAY.

KERISAM KNOWS A GUY AT COOK WHO IS REALLY GOOD AT SEXUAL IDENTITY.

JOSHAND SPEAK OF THE DEVIL - HERE COMES THE ALL TIME WRIGLEYVILLE QB - KNOWN FOR THROWING LONG BOMBS THAT HIT THE CLOUDS.

SAMHEY EVERYONE - WHAT A BIG DEAL - NATIONAL LEAGUE CENTRAL DIVISION TITLE - SOUNDS SWEET - HECK EVERYONE AT COOK IN SURGERY THOUGHT WE’D BE FIGHTING UNTIL THE LAST SERIES WITH THE BREWERS.

JOSHNO - WE ARE MUCH BETTER THAN MILWAUKEE - LOOK AT THAT 4 GAME SWEEP IN JULY - THEY MAY MAKE THE WILD CARD - BUT THE WILD CARD IS FOR LOSERS.

KERII WOULDN’T GET SO OVER CONFIDENT - REMEMBER WHAT LOU SAID - THIS IS ONLY ONE STEP - WE STILL HAVE A TON OF COMPETITIVE BASEBALL YET IN THE PLAYOFFS - WE HAVE TO STAY HEALTHY - AND..........

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WILLWE HAVE TO HIT. I FEEL OUR PITCHING WILL HOLD UP WITH Z, DEMPSTER, LILY, HARDIN, AND THE PEN WITH MARMOL AND........

KERISAMARDZIJA - THE BIG HUNK !

SAMWHAT DID YOU JUST SAY KERI ?

KERIOH NOTHING -

SAMYOU JUST MADE REFERENCE TO SAMARDZIJI AS A PROBABLY GOOD MALE FIND.

WILLCHILL SAM - ALL THE GIRLS ARE ALL OVER THIS GUY BECAUSE HE PLAYED FOOTBALL IN SOUTH BEND AND NOW HE PLAYS BASEBALL FOR THE CUBBIES - AND HE’S PROBABLY AVAILABLE.

JOSHHOW DO YOU KNOW IF HE IS AVAILABLE ?

KERIYOU DON’T - AND I WAS JUST REFERENCING A GOOD GUY - TELL ME YOU GUYS DON’T TALK ABOUT GALS.

ELLIOTTI DON’T !

WILLWELL YOU ARE IN A VAST MINORITY ELLIOTT - GUYS OUR AGE THINK OF GALS EVERY 5 - 7 SECONDS WHILE AWAKE - SOMETHING LIKE THAT. I’M CERTAIN IT’S THE SAME FOR GALS TOO.

SAMMAYBE - BUT IT IS JUST THE WAY YOU SAID IT KERI - I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE INFATUATED WITH SAMARDZIJI.

KERIOK - HE’S WORTH STARING AT FROM A GAL’S PERSPECTIVE -

JOSHSAM - CHILL - HAVE ANOTHER BREW - YOU’RE NOT ON CALL - AND KERI IS HUMAN.

SAMOH I GUESS - I’LL HAVE THE WHEAT INSTEAD OF THE ORIGINAL LEINIES.

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JOSHWORKS - AND I’VE GOT TO GET THESE GUYS FROM STOUT OUT OF HERE - THEY ARE MAKING TOO MUCH NOISE AND DRINKING WAY TOO MUCH.

WILLIF YOU NEED HELP JOSH LET ME KNOW.

JOSHTHANKS - BUT I TRY TO GET TO THESE PEOPLE WHILE ONE IN THE GROUP STILL HAS THEIR SANITY ATTACHED.

SAMWE SCRIMMAGED AGAINST STOUT AS PART OF THE BEAR TAXI SQUAD ONE AFTERNOON. THEY ACTUALLY WERE DECENT FOR A NON DIVISION I FOOTBALL SCHOOL.

JOSHWELL MANY OF US THINK SAM - INSTEAD OF MOONLIGHTING IN GARY - YOU SHOULD MOONLIGHT FOR THE BEARS - WE DON’T THINK ORTON AND REX WILL DO IT THIS YEAR.

SAMYES I KNOW - EVERYONE AT COOK IS COMPLAINING ABOUT THE QUARTERBACK POSITION AGAIN THIS YEAR - SAME THEME.

JOSHI BET SOME OF THE SURGEONS WANT YOU TO WAKE THE PATIENTS UP AND THEN SPLIT FOR THE BEARS CAMP.

SAMIT’S NOT GONNA HAPPEN - THE BEARS HAVE THEIR SCHEME - THEY DIDN’T DRAFT ANY BIG QB NAMES - THEY FEEL AFTER A STRONG FINISH LAST YEAR WITH THEIR STRONG DEFENSE - WELL THEY HAVE ENOUGH FOOTBALL TO OVERTAKE THE PACKERS THIS YEAR.

WILLBUT NOT THE PURPLE PEOPLE EATERS IN MINNESOTA - NO WAY - WE MAY BEAT GREEN BAY - BUT I DON’T SEE US BEATING MINNESOTA.

JOSHBUT OUR DEFENSE IS AWESOME WITH BRIGGS AND URLACHER.

SAMTHERE IS NO DOUBT THE BEARS ON DEFENSE CAN REALLY KICK SOME TEAMS AROUND -BUT OFFENSIVE CONSISTENCY IS A STRONG NEED - AND NOT LOVIE’S STRONG SUIT. I KNOW THAT.

KERIWELL - THERE ARE TONS OF GOOD THINGS ON THE BEARS - LIKE LUKE BUTKUS’S LINE - IT HAS IMPROVED ACCORDING TO THE TRIBUNE - SPECIAL TEAMS ARE AWESOME WITH HESTER - WE SHOULD COMPETE FOR THE SUPER BOWL -

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JOSHYOU ARE RIGHT - BUT DEVIN’S RIBS ARE BRUISED - OUR RUNNING ATTACK IS FRAGILE AND OUR MAIN RECEIVERS AND BACKS ARE ESSENTIALLY NO NAMES - I MEAN DAVIS, LLOYD, AND FORTE - MOST FOLKS IN CHICAGO HAVE NEVER HEARD OF THESE GUYS.

SAMTHAT MAY BE GOOD AS EVERYONE WHO CAUGHT THE BALL BAILED LAST YEAR WITH BIG CONTRACTS FOR OTHER TEAMS - I GUESS THE BEARS JUST DIDN’T THINK THEY WERE THAT GOOD.

WILLDESMOND CLARK STAYED - HE’S SOLID.

SAMI THINK IT’S BETTER TO HAVE SOME OF THESE GUYS LIKE FORTE - WHO REALLY NEED TO STEP UP AND PROVE THEIR TEAM WORTH.

JOSHTHE BEARS BIGGEST PROBLEM IS CONSISTENCY ON OFFENSE. A HUGE DEFICIT. I JUST DON’T KNOW IF ORTON CAN PULL IT OFF.

KERIAND WE ALL KNOW HE WAS A THROWING QB AT PURDUE - WILL’S OLD SCHOOL. AND IT TOOK DREW BREES A WHILE BEFORE HE BECAME A SUPERSTAR IN THE NFL - LOVIE IS JUST GIVING THESE GUYS A CHANCE - AND WHO KNOWS - MAYBE DAVIS WILL TURN INTO A JERRY RICE AND STAY HERE.

JOSHTHAT WOULD BE AWESOME - I FEEL LOVIE IS AN OVER POWERING COACH WHO CAN INFLUENCE HIS PLAYERS TO STAY AND FLAT OUT PLAY.

KERIWELL HE GOT RID OF TANK -

SAMKERI - THERE WAS NO ROOM ANYMORE FOR TANK ON THE BEARS - HE WAS ALWAYS IN TROUBLE - AND HE GOT A NEW START WITH THE COWBOYS - WHICH IS GREAT FOR HIM.

WILLAND BRIGGS HAS SETTLED IN - THESE GUYS CAN BE TRUE LEADERS FOR THIS BEAR TEAM - AND GET IT DONE.

ELLIOTTBUT I WAS HOPING WE WOULD’VE RECEIVED FAVRE IN A TRADE.

JOSHTHAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN - EVEN THOUGH I FEEL HE’S A BIT CRAZY AND WASHED UP TO A DEGREE - HE CAN STILL PLAY - AND THERE IS NO WAY THE PACKERS ARE GONNA ALLOW FAVRE TO HAUNT THEM.

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KERIWELL HE’S LOVED IN NEW YORK AND NEW JERSEY BY JET FANS A TON -

SAMBUT I DOUBT HE’LL EVER HAVE THE YEARS HE HAD WITH GREEN BAY IN NEW JERSEY. IT WOULD BE AMAZING IF HE DID.

WILLI DON’T FEEL FAVRE WILL HAVE THAT MUCH OF AN IMPACT ON THE JETS AS AARON RODGERS WILL HAVE ON THE PACK - AARON CAN FLAT OUT PLAY - AND THAT IS WHY GREEN BAY GOT RID OF BRETT. RODGERS MAY BE EVEN BETTER.

ELLIOTTAND NOT THROW THE BALL TO THE OTHER TEAM INCESSANTLY UNDER STRESS AS FAVRE CONSISTENTLY DID.

JOSHGOOD POINT ELLIOTT - THE PACK LOST A TON OF GAMES BECAUSE OF FAVRE’S ANTICS - HECK I WONDER IF ANY OF THESE GAMES WERE THROWN. YOU NEVER KNOW.

KERII REALLY DOUBT THAT - HE LOVED TO PLAY TOO MUCH AND HE WAS LOVED BY ALL OF THOSE BORDER FOLKS UP THERE.

SAMHE DEFINITELY HAD A KNACK FOR THE INTANGIBLE OF GETTING THE BALL TO AN OPEN MAN WHEN EVERYONE WAS COVERED.

WILLI HAD RESPECT FOR HIS ARM - BUT NOT HIS MIND. BUT THE BEARS DID OK AGAINST FAVRE THROUGH THE YEARS.

ELLIOTTENOUGH TO GET MY PARENTS OFF THE COUCH AND CHAIRS EVERY TIME HE STARTED SCRAMBLING. THEY WANTED HIS HEAD.

JOSHMELANIE - NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US !

ELLIOTTOH HI MELANIE - I’VE HEARD SO MUCH ABOUT YOU - BUT NEVER HAD THE CHANCE TO MEET YOU - I’M ELLIOTT.

MELANIENICE TO MEET EVERYONE - INCLUDING YOU KERI - AND I’M NOT CHASING SAM TONIGHT !

KERIWELL WHO ARE YOU CHASING THEN ?

18

MELANIEWELL LET’S SEE - HOW ABOUT......

WILLDON’T CHASE ME MELANIE - I’M TOO POOR. CHASE JOSH.

MELANIEI THINK I’LL JUST CHASE ELLIOTT.

ELLIOTTYOU DON’T WANT ME MELANIE - I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF I LIKE GIRLS. SORRY.

MELANIEWELL HOW ABOUT I CHASE NO ONE AND MAKE SAM AND KERI HAPPY.

SAMTHAT WORKS -

JOSHHERE IS AN ORIGINAL LEINIES MELANIE - ON ME -

MELANIEWHY THANK YOU JOSH !

JOSHYOU ARE VERY WELCOME !

MELANIEYES I’M HERE TO CELEBRATE THE NL CENTRAL DIVISION TITLE - I KNOW ALL ABOUT IT BECAUSE WE TALK INCESSANTLY ABOUT CUBS BASEBALL IN SURGERY - RIGHT SAM ?

SAMEXACTLY -

KKERIYOU ARE SO CONSISTENTLY ANNOYING MELANIE. BUT GO ON.

MELANIEI KNOW THE ENTIRE CUBS INFIELD AND ALL ABOUT BIG Z - SO YOU CAN’T EASILY STUMP A DUMB BLOND LIKE ME WITH TOUGH SPORTS QUESTIONS.

JOSHOK - DID NORTHERN WIN THE GAME AGAINST MINNESOTA MELANIE ?

MELANIENO - BUT IT WAS CLOSE - AND WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TOGETHER - REMEMBER JOSH - YOU KIND OF STOOD ME UP. BUT I’M ABOVE ALL OF THAT - I JUST HAPPENED TO NURSE A WEALTHY DYING CUB FAN - A PATIENT WHO WAS GUARANTEED BEHIND THE PLATE TICKETS FOR ALL

19

THE PLAYOFFS AND SERIES - AND I WAS THINKING OF FORGETTING OUR PRACTICE DATE JOSH - AND INVITING YOU TO THE WHOLE POST SEASON.

JOSHWELL I.............

KERIDON’T ACCEPT JOSH - THIS IS A BIG TRAP AND YOU KNOW IT -

ELLIOTTI’LL GO MELANIE IF JOSH DOESN’T WANT TO.

WILLSO WILL I IN A HEARTBEAT - IN FACT I’LL MARRY YOU MELANIE FOR THOSE TICKETS !

MELANIESO WHAT DO YOU SAY JOSH ?

JOSHI ACCEPT MELANIE.

MELANIEGREAT - I’M OUT OF HERE - THANKS FOR THE BEER, CHEESE, AND $2.50 BRAT.

KERISHE IS SUCH A YOU KNOW WHAT - BUT I’D PROBABLY ACTUALLY LIKE HER IF SHE WOULD BACK OFF SAM.

JOSHYOU ARE ALL GONE - TIME TO CLOSE - SEE YOU IN TIME.

End- EpisodE XiV, Clark & addison