Calculus: The Final Day

Final Year Quotes

"One's work may be finished some day, but one's education never." -- Alexandre Dumas

"He who laughs, lasts." -- Mary Pettibone Poole

"Man can not discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." -- Andre Gide

Advise as you prepare to graduate…

• (1) Discover your passion, and build your life around it. For it is in doing what you really enjoy that you will experience true happiness.

• (2) Dream big dreams and commit yourself to those dreams. Be willing to take some risks.

• (3) If you get homesick or experience some difficult times in college, just work a little harder. Concentrating on your studies will help take your mind off your homesickness. Things will work out for the best.

Advise as you prepare to graduate…

• (4) Don't forget to call home. Your momma needs to hear from you.

• (5) Keep your sense of humor. As Jimmy Buffet said, "If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane."

Some advise from Bill Gates• Rule 1 - Life is not fair; get used to it. • Rule 2 - The world won't care about your

self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

• Rule 3 - You will not make $90,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be vice president with a fancy car until you earn both.

Some advise from Bill Gates• Rule 4 - If you think the teacher is tough,

wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.

• Rule 5 - If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes - learn from them.

• Rule 6 - Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger-flipping; they called it "opportunity."

Some advise from Bill Gates• Rule 7 - Before you were born, your parents

weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, washing your clothes, and listening to you talk about how cool you are. Thus, before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

• Rule 8 - Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to anything in real life.

Some advise from Bill Gates• Rule 9 - Life is not divided into

semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

• Rule 10 - Television is not real life. In real life, people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

• Rule 11 - Be nice to nerds. Chances are, you'll end up working for one.

Don’t worry about me…

• "Old teachers never die; they just lose their class."

• "Old math teachers never die, they just tend to infinity."

• "Old math teachers never die; they just pass into another sphere."

Ten Ways to FAIL Calculus (with style!)

• 1. Sit in the back of the classroom. This will immediately indicate a lack of interest in the class, but what are the chances that the instructor will notice?

• 2. Don't take notes. Convince yourself that you can remember everything that is discussed in class. Notes are for dummies.

• 3. Don't do the daily homework assignments. You don't need to practice the lesson for the day. You can just wait until the day before the test to figure it out.

• 4. If you ignore #3 and do the homework, don't check your answers in the back of the book. That just takes time, and besides, that's what teachers are for.

• 5. Cram for tests. Just wait until the night before to study for a test – don't study each night.

Ten Ways to FAIL Calculus (with style!)

• 6. Stay up late the night before a test or exam. You don't need sleep or to be able to think clearly. Besides, that late night movie may not be on TV again for another two weeks, but there will always be another calculus class.

• 7. Don't come to the Review Sessions after school. The review sessions are only for flunkies. These will cut into your prime time. Don't let your classmates think you don't have something better to do!

• 8. Memorize! Memorize! Memorize! Don't try to understand anything, just memorize it.

• 9. Catch up on your sleep during class (or talk to friends so that you will stay awake). What are the chances that the instructor will say anything important anyway?

• 10. After missing a class, be certain to ask the instructor, "Did we do anything important?" or "Did I miss anything?" This will show the instructor exactly what you think of his class.

My Final Advise to You

• The three biggest factors in being successful in college are:

•ATTITUDE, WORK ETHIC, and ATTENDANCE.

Attitude!

• "Be Positive." • "Life is 10% what

happens to us and 90% how we respond to it." -- Charles Swindoll

Work Ethic!

• "Genius is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration." "I do not believe in the gifted. If [the students] have ganas [Spanish for desire], I can make them do it." – Jaime Escalante

• "There is no Royal Road to Geometry." -- Euclid

Attendance!

• You can't learn it if you're not here ... Go to class everyday!

And so I leave you with the words of Buzz Lightyear…

•"To infinity and beyond!"