Candle

For a piece created by Clare Whistler, Tamsin Currey, Joanna Haigood, Sam Sharples

Pett Level, East Sussex, 3 July 2011Book design Raphael Whittle

Clare Whistler ©2011

1.

As autumn carries on I go deeper into the darkI have lost a lightness a desperate attempt to surface is missed this lack of light place

50.

only the light coming out at nightonly the voicesonly the hands held, kisses givenonly the leap into the heightonly a candle lit to welcome springonly a candle lit brightas memory of darks and whitecandle as ritualcandle as light

2.

candlea tiny golden candle, reminding one of bees, honey,thinner than a little fingersmooth, handmade and cared for in its paper box

49.

first day of springflowers crowd the sides of roadslike candle flames

3.

I took it to see Len and Angie yesterdaynot sure whyscared it represented life being blown outI was stayed from entering he was too illa long slow night was startingand I carried the candle home and put it back on the shelf

one has to give everythingthere is no end of the givingwhen one is in the darksomething will return, or not

48.

the candle burnsmortality feels closeare we all suffering, tentative, unknowingand streaked with experience

4.

candlea candle in church,popping it in amongst all the other Catholic lights especially in a dark corner of some cathedral

47.

three matches and alightstrains of spring show in the skyas the poets sayflashes of joy and slow ache of sorrowa human legacyevery day a struggleevery day treasure

5.

There is no orderbeauty maybe tries to find it and leave the questions out

46.

low chant of no sleephits me as if touching firealthough I know it is something to go throughI hate the wavering

6.

candlestickWhen I first moved into my house of someone else’s things, I was given a cast metal candlestick that only worked when thecandle was in it, unbelievably of the placeit was the house’s first possession,

candlesticks light coming through lacy patterns of three different holders

candlestickwrapped in tissue paper an old pewter candlestick found in acavern of a bric a brace store in Seafordlovely, round, well-used, wabi-sabi

45.

the middle of nowherethe turn in the paththe boulder to navigatethe trees and brambles toofind a way throughthe washes of beautythe touches of insightthe uncertaintythe strugglethe openingthe closingthe use of movingthe use of sheddingthe use of treasuringthe use of lovingthe use and disuse of driftingthe use of stillnessthe use of ephemeralitythe use of insubstantialityall these candle contained

7.

candle The miners are coming out of the mine in Chile, one by onecoming from darkness to light, after their lives livedunderground and they are given sunglasses from an American firm, to enter the lighttheir eyes will need so much adjustingthis story of darkness into lightas regards a life going outthis time yesterdayI thought he was still aliveI had sat in an island of a room with him hardly livingable to sit and cough and say a couple of words of assentand yet in 12 hoursthe flame,however feeblehowever fragilehad already gone outand that living huskthat spirit still alivehad gonethat skin I had touched and rubbedthat body I had helped uprighthad gone outand the miners coming one by onehour by hourout of the darkness into the lighta miracle alsomaybe one could call it in reversebut both, in some wayscoming into the light

44.

There is nothing a man will not do to another man.Carolyn Forche

A Tunisian lighting himself as I light this candle with the last match in the box

8.

Candlesfrom Amsterdam Made in the shape of housesthe wick in the middle of the roof like a chimney it turns up later on a christmas card a little house burning in the dark by a fir tree

43.

shaking hearttingle in hands and feet, shudder of bodythis is wakinga shaking to the foundations

9.

from Edinburgha strange candlesticklike a boat with two candles, square, blue for either endin memory of the Iona boat song

42.

when I am alight with ideasis my body reflecting the earth?

10.

from St Patrice, Quebecblack, iron and oldtalisman of my mother’s memories

41.

sacred objectsbecome so with our intentthe bigger world between the smallthe impossible possible

11.

Candletwo huge carved wooden candlesticks from London via Italy

40.

a pushing windwipes the day into beingedges clear the skyflame of yellowintense as my heartgreets the day

12.

no candle memoryjust a faint light of an idea

39.

this flame is as alive as meits grace, its power, its mortality

13.

Candlebreathing exercisehold one’s finger like a candleimage the flickering flameextending from your fingertipbreath inblow very gently on the imaginary flameletting out your breath as evenly and slowly as possiblewith lips pursed together and no need for soundkeep the flame waveringdon’t blow it out

38.

ritual wakinglemon, hot water, pillsbeeswax candlepen to paperreading wise wordshope for the daylotus seed and blossomcandle melting and solidalive, animate and other

14.

candle candle burning bright, in the forests of the nightanother candle and its geological historythe outside crinkly and veined, scaly and roughbrutally sliced to a flat smooth inside of quartz like a stone age arrowheadits sits happily and heavily in a handa candle held in rocksomething to outlast us all and keep me with my elemental roots

37.

chanting, a breeze reaches the flame, jumping and jumbling

what is the preparation for light

the flame is not possible without the waxas body to soul

15.

candleah a box full of fancy perfumed chocolate candlesone of those tea cups, a flowery one on a blue backgroundtwo treasured candles from my sons

36.

the flame’s perfumemixes with the match’s strikebefore the promise of light

16.

“it will not last the night, but ah my foes and oh my friends itgives a lovely light”

Edna St Vincent Millay

it was in Darkness and Light,my candle burns at both ends

35.

the flame is a pinpoint

17.

Beautyis myonlycandle

againstthe

midnightof

my fear

Joan Walsh Anglund

34.

promise of happinesspromises are expectationspromises can shatterI shiver with the flamefragility is the way

18.

Beauty is my only candleagainst the midnight of my fearI did not realise I had written it out twiceI try to get it under my skin

33.

material and immaterialgo togetherlike a stumbling block,happens beforea hope forwards

19.

All Souls DayA candle has gone outA golden light has left the worldHoney will always carry a memoryI need to burn a candle instead of blowing one outI want that flickering light

32.

the burn in everythinganxiety hoversmiss depthwant it

20.

ceremony of remembranceone more untouched candleI have been with the earth at the barnI have been with the airwhere my eyes went wide I have been with fire, my feeble candleI have not been with water yetincomplete ritual

31.

eight gusting swallows against the skycandle spilling tears of waxprecariously melting

21.

candlememories seem thinI remember bringing back brown paper bags from Californiaspecially made to hold candlesluminarios

30.

trembling heartjittery flameevery morningmoving like change

22.

image of blowing out the light when there is no light around.

29.

match dropped into the candleand for a moment two flamesI wish I could accept one pathit is unlikelyI seem to follow alllike tracings

23.

fragile lightit is so close to not being therea candlea cut flowera sunsetnew fallen snow before its touched

28.

two strikes, flameshadow fills the bowl of the circle like an eclipseAm I the circle worried by the shadowyet staying edged and golden

24.

will there be candlesTo have stood two times, two weeks apart in the samecrematorium for two joined people

27.

a slim line of lightelongated and smooth as a chinese paint brush tip

25.

to keep light alive when the flame has burnt outa trick of love and memorydeath is woven into the fabric of this gift, the fall of darkness held awake with history

26.

candle allow drift

candleno heat, huddlematch to fingerat lastlight

the candle litthe verse readI can only try to understandI can only try to followI can only try to acceptor not

26.

light is spilling from the skyjust a few leaves leftif we could shed a skin so easily, yearly burn it away, flame-likeand intenseleave behind an elegant skeleton

25.

smell of burnt match held near flame so burnt flesh as well

27.

Did a quizWhich of the 7 elements are you?Light!

24.

the day is already lightI have missed its approachthe yellow flameis itselfnot giving lightjust dancing

28.

on the back of a shelf, high up in the hall, is a knocked aboutpewter candlestick

23.

light comes through the trees with morningthe split is still openingwe need reminders, of gratitude and possibility

29.

How many tea lights can one use in a night, in a life, buyingpackages of them, 50 at a time, dredging up performances,rituals, presents, just to have at supper, christmas moments, on doorsteps, in a dance class with decorated Indian fabrics, turquoise, pink,mustard, emerald

22.

try a match it breaks in pieces then a few more, one lights anddrops at the same time, leaves a burnt mark and bitter smellthe candle stays unlit

30.

is it just a reminderthat the moving flameis the movingand movingis dancing?

21.

I am completely awake at the wrong time,night hold me and no one elsereclaim inspired darkness

31.

another light has gone in the dark

20.

candlethe Tao said, as always to let gothe day ahead is full, let life blossom

32.

Darkness workshopwe close our eyes to see more clearlywe stopwe dropwe startI am in the unknowingimagination lingers, taste of food, texture of sound,touching in the darksomething wants to cling to somethingI did have a dream I was walking towards a beehive to rest myhand on it, then there was a snake, it was calm but the snakebit me I didn’t feel the bite I just knew it had happened thenthat was it

19.

the darkest, burntest surface reflects the best light

33.

whisper, whisper, whispererlight streams as if from rockthe bird leaping and sailing I am but airI am but light in the airI am but lightning

18.

it is still dark, the wick in its blackened state lit on first strikehardly needed the light, it sinks deeper into its centrecreates intensity

34.

green water, pure earth, whole fireseeds of wisdom scatter aroundwe bloom, they bloom, I bloommy hands turn and opentexture of skin, joy crinkles at the side of the eyeI dance, I am, dance, the gesture is enoughand sometimes the rock of me solidifies instead of being molten

17.

this gift does represent the spiritual journey of life

35.

I walked into a room of honeybeeswax candles everywherebookcases of them wrapped in plain white paper

16.

this strong light that never goes out on a first blow greets my morning candle lighting is the ritual of all worshippers of all contemplations,elemental forcefire of the spirit

36.

burnt wood with a circle hewn out of itby its side is the big egged shaped candle I gotall those years ago when I started the gift seriesit has melted

15.

my music ritual of joy every new year, my Dad calls thats lovely within the sound

I lit the warm, strong candle, Joanna called in the night, health for 2011

reflected flame in diamond pane window, reflectionas strong as reality

37.

I carry my heart like a nervous kitten, charting every atonal chorus,like an alien inside me jugglingI come to this room and lit the candle in the semi-dark its almost as ifI need the yellow light to steer forward and calm the sea

14.

ritual – a husk of faith, or a way towardsorder, repetition, attention, presence

38.

Prosperity Candle reach out to women of the world

13.

‘oh heart let go of all your worries about the futureIn this friendless world come and join us’

Rumi

‘Return is the movement of the TaoYielding is the way of the Tao’

39.

the candle has sunk into its own body, sunk into its own bodyI failed to light a ritual candleopening a chasm of lossjust hidden by an intake of breath

12.

the turning of the year the sheer weight of it alla glass candle given to me on my July birthday cracks, burns the floor badly, a forever mark, (to register in the darkness)

Jan 1 without fanfare resolutions, I face the new yearamber-coloured beeswax candle starts

40.

its almost as if the darkness has to continue and later in a circle the candle sat in the middle like lifeI saw the possibility of just how much a candle can change an experienceit is that age old thing, give an object power and care and it resounds now such a tiny hapless light is coming from the candle, justenough to say it is alight, a tiny edge of yellow comes and goesthe flame is mostly blue

11.

clinking bird like a spoon against glassa shuttle of trillsinside my body and outmy aching hearthas badgered, ridden, lumped along all nightoutside my body and in

41.

soggy black-eyed candlelike a rumpled stomach lazes on the saucermelted beyond recognition

10.

end of the year, times drag and conversations dawdle,childhood fights played out like rerunsdeath clutters the end of the year

this last day even the candle won’t lightscary heart so present and strange

cries of the spirit, cries of the heart, cries of the body

42.

We’re not ahead, we’re behindwe’re not above, we’re belowLike a brush in a painter’s hand,we have no idea where we are

Rumi

9.

clinging to the ritualto make lighting a candle as deeply part of my life as myentering the darkness

43.

I feel death is on my shoulder crow predictions, darkness is haunting me and this feeblelighting of the candle every morning, a ritual to do with makinga piece and in some ways an acceptance and a warding off ofdeath, feels pitiful, laughable and yet like a life on a thread ifthe ritual stops

8.

ice on the drive finally gone, the candle is bright in the dullness and soon the day will be decided

44.

I dreamt that the Belovedentered my bodypulled out a dagger,and went looking for my heartHe couldn’t find it so he struck anywhere

Rumi

7.

the house now owns many things, that is what Christmas does,a dodgy of giftsshedding has to start all over again with every day of becoming

45.

I woke up, counting this as a blessingI am not sure it can get darker

6.

collected deaths and weddings of a yearon a clear night so no snowhard shadowed frostdarting birds flash across the eyesletting you know the image still moves

46.

sometimes the only humour in one’s days comes from sheepwalking towards a battalion directly facing me and in my path,the leader stood his ground taking them all with him, I lifted myarms in a beseeching U then with a graceful gesture I indicatedto the right - they all moved, and I repaid them with gestureslike pods of rain bursting upwards, hands as flames, a blessingand thanks

5.

I long for a rhyme of healtha small fresh syllable, a poultice of wordsto put the soul right and the body strong

47.

the first match doesn’t, then I light the second, some old thingscan renew and surviveRumi today says not to be afraid and I am not sure its afraid itsresignation to not getting there

4.

A thousand candles burn in a thousand roomsLuo Fu

48.

I knew it must be morning as the snow is reflecting light, sky isgrey blue puffy and solid unmoving, a bird is(hope) up, peelingdispiritedly amongst yesterdays birdseed, if this is morning, itcould still be night

3.

The people are a templeand souls are candleseach lighting the other.

Germady Ayagi

49.

I have struck the match and write by candlelight the flamelight,drumming, hissing and lightly mooing like a giant wind inminiature Yesterday’s snowstorm followed by lightning then ahuge multilayered roll of thunder and the snow turning tocannon balls of hail, as all the weathers collided -truly amessage from the gods - if it was a former time it would be anominous prediction

As I sink deeper into…walk alonethousands of black butterfliesaround my heart on this dark solstice

2.

I lit a candle in the antique carved Italian candlesticks, oneburnt into the wood, it was fully alight before I blew it out,no one noticed but me.

50.

it is changeit is lossit is softeningit is disillusionit is mortalityit is energy

a leaf frozen takes out the flame

1.

a burden lifts, I am lighter

The surface of the earth says ‘The treasure is within’The glowing jewel says ‘Don’t be fooled by my beauty’The light of my facecomes from the candle of my spirit

Rumi

For a piece created by Clare Whistler, Tamsin Currey, Joanna Haigood, Sam Sharples

Pett Level, East Sussex, 3 July 2011Book design Raphael Whittle

Clare Whistler ©2011

Candle