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LECTURE NOTES AND TEACHING SUGGESTIONS – CHAPTER 2 86

CHAPTER 2 – LECTURE NOTES AND TEACHINGSUGGESTIONS

Planning Business Messages

SynopsisChapter 2 provides an overview of the process of writing, including prewriting, writing, and revising. The chapter then focuses on the first stage of the writing process. Before writing a message, students learn to analyze the task, purpose, and expected response to the message. They learn how to select an appropriate channel for a message and how to profile the audience. The remainder of the chapter emphasizes writing skills that help writers adapt to the task and audience. Students learn techniques for developing audience benefits and the “you” view. They learn to use conversational but professional language. They are encouraged to use positive, inclusive, and courteous language, focusing on plain expression and familiar words.

Objectives

Understand that business messages should be purposeful, persuasive, economical, and audience oriented.

Identify and implement the three phases of the writing process.

Appreciate the importance of analyzing the task and profiling the audience for business messages.

Create messages that spotlight audience benefits and cultivate a “you” view.

Develop a conversational tone, and use positive, courteous language.

Create messages that include inclusive language, plain expression, and familiar words.

87 CHAPTER 2 – LECTURE NOTES AND TEACHING SUGGESTIONS

What’s New in This Chapter Expanded the basics of business writing to include persuasion because audience members

must believe and accept a message. Amplified the discussion of communication channels to include blogs, instant messages,

and wikis to ensure that students understand the vast array of available channels and important factors governing their selection.

Presented most writing technique examples in side-by-side positions for better readability and quicker comprehension.

Added discussion of courteous expression and the importance of maintaining goodwill. Revised before/after e-mail message to illustrate how to improve its tone with "you" view,

conversational tone, and familiar words. Added Office Insider marginal notes to continue the emphasis upon connecting what

students are learning to what employers expect. Created new Grammar/Mechanics Challenge exercise encouraging students to test their

knowledge of chapter concepts. Revised and updated text examples, illustrations, and writing improvement exercises.

Lecture Notes – Tear out and take to class!

Chapter 2

I. The Basics of Business Writing (p. 32)

PowerPoint slides 1–3

Business writing is Purposeful Persuasive Economical Audience oriented

II. The Writing Process for Business Messages and Oral Presentations (p. 33) Prewriting: analyzing, anticipating, adapting Writing: researching, organizing, composing Revising: revising, proofreading, evaluating

Time required for each phase of the writing process: Prewriting—25 percent (planning and worrying) Writing—25 percent (organizing and composing) Revising—50 percent (45 percent revising and 5 percent proofreading)

PowerPoint slides 4, 5


III. Analyzing the Purpose and the Audience (p. 34) Identifying your purpose

Why are you writing? What do you expect to accomplish? Businessmessages are usually written to inform and to persuade. A secondary purpose is to promote goodwill.

Selecting the best channel involves these factors:Importance of messageAmount and speed of feedback and interactivity requiredNecessity of a permanent recordCost of the channelDegree of formality desiredConfidentiality and sensitivity of the message

Switching to faster channelsTechnology and competition accelerate the pace of business.

PowerPoint Slides 6-8

Supplementary Lecture (not in textbook—see lecture in following pages)Media richness determined by

Speedy deliveryPotential for immediate interactivityVerbal and nonverbal cues that can be processed by senders and receiversUse of everyday languageA focus on an individual rather than on a mass of people

What channel would you select to announce to all employees that the company will close at noon every Friday during the summer?

E-mail is fast, efficient, and inexpensive for announcements like this one that need to be sent to a large group of people.

What channel would you select to give feedback to an employee who mishandled a call with a customer?Face-to-face conversations are best when dealing with potentially emotional issues and when it is important to read nonverbal cues.

IV. Anticipating the Audience (p. 36) A. Profiling the Audience

Who is my primary reader or listener? Who are my secondary readers or listeners? What are my personal and professional relationships with that person? What position does the person hold in the organization? How much does that person know about the subject? What do I know about that person’s education, beliefs, culture, and attitudes? Should I expect a neutral, positive, or negative response to my message?

Let’s discuss


B. Responding to the ProfileWhat language is appropriate?Should I use specialized technical terms?Should my tone be informal or formal?What is the most appropriate channel?


V. Adapting to the Task and Audience (p. 38) A. Audience Benefits

How can your message give something to the receiver, solve the receiver’s problems, save the receiver’s money, or just understand the feelings and position of that person?

B. “You” View Focus on the receiver. Instead of “We need you to join a vanpool,” try this:

“You can avoid the hassle and expense of driving to work.”

C. Conversational but Professional Business messages today are warm, friendly, and informal but not slangy, sloppy, and low level.

Let’s say you are new on the job, and you are a whiz at instant messaging. Should you transfer your IM skills to your office e-mails? How can you judge what level of language to use?

It’s probably unwise to transfer any of your buddy and IM message skills to the office. Remember that messages are frequently forwarded in business. Strive to be businesslike and professional, yet friendly. Set a high standard for yourself if you want to be noticed and promoted.

D. Positive LanguageUse positive rather than negative language. For example, tell what can be done rather than what can’t be done. Instead of “We can’t ship your order until June 1,” say “We can ship your order June 1.” Positive expression is uplifting and usually carries more information than negative expression.

PowerPoint slides 11-25

Let’s discuss


Supplementary LectureHidden Messages (use PowerPoint slides or transparency)Show examples of negative expressions and the hidden meanings they carry.


E. Courteous LanguageAvoid words that sound demanding or preachy.Give reasons for a request to soften the tone.Use polite phrases when speaking on the telephone.

F. Inclusive Language fire fighter instead of fireman letter carrier instead of mailman server instead of waiter, waitress (see other examples on slides)

Supplementary Lecture Business Doublespeak (see lecture in following pages)

Plain English DoublespeakLosing money Negative cash flow, deficit enhancement,

net profit revenue deficiencies, negativecontribution to profits

Other examples are included in the lecture material.

G. Plain English Avoid showy words, long sentences, confusing expressions, and legalese.

Lecture Tidbit: Washington state officials ordered all state agencies to adopt "plain talk" principles. It sent more than 2,000 state employees to classes on how to write letters, announcements, and documents in everyday language. By rewriting one letter, the Department of Revenue tripled the number of businesses paying the "use tax," the widely ignored equivalent of sales tax on products purchased out of state. (Rachel La Corte, "Washington State Sees Results From 'Plain Talk' Initiative,' "USA Today, December 11, 2006, p. 18A)

H. Familiar Words Choose short, common, simple words.

PowerPoint slides 28-37


VI. Communication Workshop: Career Skills (p. 52)(Lecture outline; discussion guide appears later)

Sharpening Your Skills for Critical Thinking, Problem Solving, and Decision Making Identify and clarify the problem. Gather information. Evaluate the evidence. Consider alternatives and implications. Choose and implement the best alternative.

Lecture Transparencies(available in a separate packet and at www.meguffey.com)

Title Transparency Number

Basics of Business Writing 2.1The Writing Process 2.2Analyzing Your Purpose and Channel 2.3Profiling the Audience 2.4Adapting to Task and Audience 2.5Conversational Language 2.6Levels of Language Use 2.7Quick Check 2.8Hidden Messages 2.9Courteous Language 2.10Inclusive Language 2.11Quick Check 2.12Plain Language 2.13Quick Check 2.14


Supplementary Lecture

Media Richness

Workers today have many media or channels from which to choose when they communicate with management, fellow workers, customers, and others. Media richness is a theory that seeks to explain and predict why certain types of media are more effective than others.

A rich message reduces “equivocality” in a message receiver. That is, the receiver does not misunder-stand or have doubts about the information transmitted. The receiver understands the message as the sender intended. A medium is thought to be rich if it has the following characteristics:

Speedy delivery Potential for immediate interactivity Verbal and nonverbal cues that can be processed by senders and receivers Use of everyday language A focus on an individual rather than on a mass of people

Speed involves the lag between the production of a message and its arrival to the receiver. Letters delivered by the U.S. Postal Service are often called “snail mail” because a relatively long time elapses between creation and delivery. Generally, the more rapid the production, sending, and receiving in a medium, the richer is the medium. E-mail is a richer channel than snail mail based on this characteristic.

Interactivity increases the richness of a medium to the extent that communicators can interact simultaneously and respond to each other’s messages. In this sense, instant messaging is a richer medium than e-mail.

Verbal and nonverbal cues significantly increase medium richness. Although the telephone is a fairly limited medium, it enables speakers to convey a wide range of information regarding speaker intent and emotion. In this sense, the telephone is more effective than e-mail or instant messaging because it carries verbal cues. The richest medium, of course, is face-to-face conversation, which carries many verbal and nonverbal cues.

Use of everyday language adds to the richness of a message because receivers are more likely to understand the information being transmitted. Unnatural or stilted language, unfamiliar jargon, or abstract words reduce the richness in a message.

Focus on an individual increases the richness of a message because the information can be tailored to the receiver. A general announcement sent to 500 employees cannot be as rich as a message customized for one individual. First- and second-person pronouns are possible when talking with an individual, and the message can be shaped to the receiver’s knowledge, interests, and environment.


The theoretical concept of media richness is interesting. But does it also include the concept of appropriateness? When is it appropriate to use various channels?

CLASS DISCUSSIONAsk students to evaluate the following communication channels: 5 = media rich; 1 = media lean. Then construct a continuum with media rich channels at the top of the continuum and media lean ones at the bottom. (Place all the items with 5 or 4 toward the top and those with lower numbers near the bottom.)

Personal letterFaxFace-to-face, one-on-one discussionPosted flyer or announcementInstant messageFace-to-face group meetingsTelephone callTeleconference (audio)Videoconference (audio and video)Voice mailE-mailImpersonal memo

After developing a continuum, ask students to also evaluate the appropriateness of these channels for various workplace messages. Is media richness theory the only consideration in choosing communication channels?


Business Doublespeak

Doublespeak (also called double talk) is language that is deliberately ambiguous or evasive. It disguises or distorts actual meaning, often resulting in foggy communication.

Doublespeak was originally associated with government figures. However, William Lutz, author of The New Doublespeak, found business writers to be equally guilty: “If there’s one product American business can produce in large amounts, it’s doublespeak—a language that makes the simple appear complex, turns bad news into good, or simply avoids saying anything at all.” Lutz lists a few examples:

Plain English Doublespeak

Losing money Negative cash flow, deficit enhancement,net profit revenue deficiencies, negativecontribution to profits


Reducing staff Reengineering, restructuring, downsizing;making a workforce adjustment, censusreduction, instituting a program of negativeemployee retention.

Firing employees Workers are dehired, deselected, selected out,repositioned, surplussed, rightsized, correct sized, excessed, uninstalled, or managed down.

Plain English Doublespeak

Moving employees Vocational relocation, career reassignment,career change opportunity; implementing an operation improvement or a skills mix adjustment, assigning candidates to a mobility pool, eliminatingredundancies

One wonders whether some businesspeople and professionals consciously try to avoid clear communication. Consider this sanity teaser: “Overt employee resistance is sufficient cause to nullify.” (Does that mean that we’ll stop because employees don’t like it?) In a memo one manager wrote, “Delay could not be predicated on opposition to funding.” (Comprehension here is totally obscured by negative concepts plus the word not). In yet another example of cloudy communication, a vice president wrote that all departments were “under mandate to achieve equipment conformity.” (Does this suggest an order to use similar computers?)

An attorney wrote the following example of legalese (or “legaldegook”): “Unilateral nullification of the terms and conditions of the expiring agreement absent bona fide impasse is prohibited.” This impenetrable sentence was translated thus: “One party cannot leave the contract early without a good reason.”

Another form of doublespeak results in weasel words. From their book, Weasel Words: The Dictionary of American Doublespeak (Paul Wasserman and Don Hausrath, University of Maryland, 2006) come a few examples from the world of education:

Plain English Weasel Words

School hallways Behavior transition corridors

Exceptional Children with disabilities, often mental retardation

Negatively privileged Poor people

Improper source dependence Plagiarism



Hidden Messages

Some words and phrases convey a negative and unpleasant tone. They may imply a hidden message that the writer does not intend. See the list of negative expressions and their hidden meanings in the PowerPoint slides or transparencies for Chapter 2.

Critical Thinking Discussion Guide

1. Why do you think employers prefer messages that are not written like high school and college essays?

Businesspeople prefer messages that are purposeful, persuasive, economical, and audience-oriented. This kind of writing is often different from essay assignments that required description of feelings, display of knowledge, and adherence to a word count. Employers want messages that are clear, concise, and focused.

2. How can the three-phase writing process help the writer of a business report as well as well as the writer of an oral presentation?

The three-phase writing process helps communicators solve problems, particularly those that require a product as their outcome. The three phases of the process are so comprehensive that they cover, with a few modifications, all aspects of written and oral communication. To be successful communicators, students will go through the same processes of analyzing, anticipating, adapting, and so forth, for all their communication activities.

3. Discuss the following statement: “The English language is a landmine—it is filled with terms that are easily misinterpreted as derogatory and others that are blatantly insulting. . . . Being fair and objective is not enough; employers must also appear to be so.”

Our language is experiencing a period of rapid development as it responds to changes in social attitudes and technology. To avoid alienating readers and listeners, many businesspeople are trying hard to be particularly sensitive to avoid the appearance of bias. Bias, of course, is any prejudgment toward another person or group—on some basis other than fact. At times our language, even if used unintentionally, suggests bias. Most of us would not use derisive or insensitive terms knowingly. But some references may include a hint of bias that we don’t always recognize. Students will want to be alert to those terms mentioned in the text, as well as to others that may carry emotional baggage. Examples:


cleaning woman (cleaner, custodian); female engineer (omit “female”); man-hours (labor hours). At your discretion, you may wish to discuss with your students the bias in the following examples and whether the prejudicial terms are even relevant in communicating the main idea:

Joan, the overweight clerk in Shipping, was promoted.Joan, the deaf clerk in Shipping, was promoted.Joan, the anorexic clerk in Shipping, was promoted.Joan, the old clerk in Shipping, was promoted.Joan, the lesbian clerk in Shipping, was promoted.Joan, the black clerk in Shipping, was promoted.

4. Why is writing in a natural, conversational tone difficult for many people?

Many writers tend to become formal, unnatural, and distant when they put words on paper. They seem to undergo a personality change when they pick up a pencil or approach a keyboard. Perhaps this is a result of composition training in schools. Students learned to develop a writing style that impressed the instructor. They were rewarded when they used big words, complex sentences, and abstractions, even if their ideas were not altogether clear. After leaving school, some writers continue to use words that inflate ideas, making them sound important and intellectual. Instead of writing as they would speak in conversation, they construct long and complex sentences, and expression of their thoughts becomes confusing. Other people are poor writers simply because they haven’t been trained. Still others inflate language to disguise empty thoughts or to hide the facts.

5. If computer software is increasingly able to detect writing errors, can business communicators stop studying writing techniques? Why?

Although many grammar checkers can find an amazing number of errors (including subject/verb lack of agreement, incorrect pronoun use, and so forth), they are no substitute for good writing. Business communicators still must collect information, organize it, adapt it to the audience, write effectively and correctly, and revise carefully. No software program can perform all those functions. Moreover, a fair proportion of the “errors” detected in grammar checkers are not errors. Well-trained writers need to know how to distinguish the true errors from others, and they also need to be able to make effective corrections.

Communication Workshop Discussion Guide

Sharpening Your Skills for Critical Thinking

Clarifying the problem. Students will first focus on the problem of the chaos caused by multiple lines. Where should customers stand?

Gathering information. In solving any problem, we need information. Students will probably relate their experiences at banks and airlines (which often have roped areas clearly forcing a single line), sports events (where fans frequently crowd concessionaires


with a mob of people), and retail stores (where people often politely form lines at checkout counters). Grocery stores have multiple lines but they are physically separated.

Evaluating findings and considering alternatives. Many people prefer the orderliness of single lines. Customers know that they are being treated fairly. No one can crowd ahead. However, when big crowds of people are involved, the line can look very long. At McDonald’s a single line might snake around and at rush times actually flow out the door, giving the impression that the restaurant is very crowded. Rushed customers might take one look and leave to find a less crowded restaurant. However, major competitors seem to have gone to single lines. Wendy’s International and Burger King use single lines successfully. By the way, a Wendy’s spokesperson says, “With stopwatches we’ve proved [a single line] is faster. But consumer perception is the only thing that counts.” Setting up line areas separated by physical barriers might crowd the counter area and make it difficult for disabled people to stay in line. As an alternative, students might suggest that one or two of the McDonald’s try using a single-line system as a trial for several months.

Selecting the best alternative. Students will select one alternative and offer reasons supporting it in a memo or in class discussion. The important thing is for them to go through the critical thinking steps in arriving at a decision and being able to defend their solution.

Video Resource

Building Workplace Skills, Video Library 1. Show a video titled Guffey’s 3-x-3 Writing Process Develops Fluent Workplace Skills. It shows all three phases of the writing process so that students can see how it guides the development of a complete message. This video illustrates concepts in Chapters 2, 3, and 4.

Workplace in Focus

Page 35Transmitting messages through multiple channels helps ensure effective delivery of information and high audience recall. Since each communication channel has advantages and disadvantages, communicators should evaluate the importance of the message, the feedback required, and the need for a permanent record before selecting a channel.

Page 39


Successful business communicators create messages that focus on the needs and perspective of the audience. Shaping a message that appeals to receivers requires empathy, or the ability to put yourself in another person's shoes. When creating a message for a Generation Y audience, senders should address the problems, concerns, aspirations, and preferences that individuals of this demographic group share. Accounting firms Deloitte & Touche and PricewaterhouseCoopers have become popular with Gen Y-ers by stressing benefits such as flexible work hours, support networks, challenging work, and opportunities for growth and advancement.


Additional Writing Improvement Exercises

AUDIENCE BENEFITS AND THE “YOU” VIEWRevise the following sentences to emphasize the perspective of the audience and the “you” view.

1. To avoid suffering the kinds of monetary losses we have experienced in the past, our credit union prohibits the cashing of third-party checks presented by our members.

2. To help us process your order with our new database software, we need you to go to this Web site and fill out the customer information required.

3. We are pleased to announce an arrangement with H-P that allows us to offer discounted computers in the student bookstore.

4. Under a new policy, reimbursement of travel expenses will be restricted to those related to work only.

5. We are pleased to announce that you have been approved to enroll in our management trainee program.

6. I give my permission for you to attend the two-day workshop.

CONVERSATIONAL, PROFESSIONAL TONERevise the following to make the tone conversational yet professional.

7. Under separate cover the above-referenced items (printer toner and supplies) are being sent to your Oakdale office, as per your telephone conversation of April 1.

8. Kindly inform the undersigned whether or not your representative will be making a visitation in the near future.


9. It is recommended that you conceptualize and submit your departmental budget ASAP.

10. BTW, we’ve had some slippage in the schedule but don’t have to scrap everything and start from step zero.

11. To facilitate ratification of this agreement, your negotiators urge that the membership respond in the affirmative.

POSITIVE AND COURTEOUS EXPRESSIONRevise the following statements to make them more positive.

12. Customers are ineligible for the 10 percent discount unless they show their membership cards.

13. Titan Insurance Company will not process any claim not accompanied by documented proof from a physician showing that the injuries were treated.

14. If you fail to comply with each requirement, you will not receive your $50 rebate.

15. We must withhold remuneration until you complete the job satisfactorily.

16. We can’t process your application because you neglected to insert your telephone number.

17. Construction cannot begin until the building plans are approved.

18. All employees must return their health care packets by November 1, or they will not be able to change any options.


INCLUSIVE LANGUAGERevise the following sentences to eliminate terms that are considered sexist or that suggest stereotypes.

19. Any applicant for the position of fireman must submit a medical report signed by his physician.

20. Every employee is entitled to see his personnel file.

21. All waiters and waitresses are covered under our new benefits package.

22. A salesman would have to use all his skills to sell those condos.

23. All conference participants and their wives are invited to the banquet.

24. How many man hours are required to complete the project?

PLAIN ENGLISH AND FAMILIAR WORDSRevise the following sentences to use plain English and familiar words.

25. Please ascertain whether we must perpetuate our current contract despite perplexing profits.

26. He hypothesized that the vehicle was not operational because of a malfunctioning gasket.

27. Because we cannot monitor all cash payments, we must terminate the contract.

28. The contract stipulates that management must perpetuate the retirement plan.

29. I’ll interface with Mark to access his people.

30. Unilateral nullification of the terms and conditions of the expiring agreement absent bona fide impasse is prohibited. (Legal talk!)


Additional Writing Improvement Exercises—Key

AUDIENCE BENEFITS AND THE “YOU” VIEW 1. To prevent you from losing money in third-party check transactions, our credit union no

longer cashes such checks presented by our members.

2. To have your orders processed more quickly and efficiently, please fill out your customer information at this Web site.

3. All you need to do is go to the campus student bookstore to purchase H-P computers at discounted prices.

4. All your work-related travel expenses will be reimbursed under our new policy.

5. Congratulations! You have been selected to enter our management trainee program!

6. You may attend the two-day workshop.

CONVERSATIONAL, PROFESSIONAL TONE 7. As you requested, we are sending your printer toner and supplies to your Oakdale office.

8. Please tell me whether your representative will be visiting before June 1.

9. Please submit your departmental budget before January 1.

10. Although we’ve fallen behind somewhat in the schedule, we don’t have to begin anew.

11. We urge you to approve the agreement by voting yes.

POSITIVE EXPRESSION 12. Customers with membership cards receive a 10 percent discount.

13. We can process your claim if you send us a letter from your doctor showing that he or she treated your injuries.

14. By following each requirement, you will receive your $50 rebate.

15. We will pay you once you complete the job satisfactorily.

16. In the message you left at our Web site, you described a printer malfunction.

17. We’ll process your application as soon as we receive your telephone number.

18. Please return your health care packets by November 1 if you want to change any options.


INCLUSIVE LANGUAGE19. Applicants for firefighter positions must submit medical reports signed by their physicians.

20. All employees are entitled to see their personnel files.

21. All servers are covered under our new benefits package.

22. A salesperson would have to be very skillful to sell those condos. OR Salespeople would have to use all their skills to sell those condos.

23. All conference participants and their spouses (or partners) are invited to the banquet.

24. How many working hours are required to complete the project?

PLAIN ENGLISH AND FAMILIAR WORDS 25. Please find out whether we must continue our current contract despite troubling profits.

26. He guessed that the car (or truck) was not working because of a broken gasket.

27. Because we cannot check all cash payments, we must end the contract.

28. The contract requires that management continue the retirement plan.

29. I’ll talk with Mark about using (addressing?) his staff.

30. One party cannot leave the contract early without a good reason. (Plain English version)

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