Chapter 15Friends

What Do Friends Provide? Emotional support

› Reassurance, acceptance, understanding

Models for imitation› Teach social and

emotional skills Opportunities to

practice roles› Time for growth and

new experiences

Type of Friendships Most teens find it easier to

be friends with the same age and the same interests› Don’t miss out on

opportunities to be friends with children; they look up to teens

› Children want to imitate teens

› You as a teen can learn responsibility to understand their needs and how to meet them.

Types of Friendships Male to male

› Tend to share interests and activities with friends

Opposite gender friendships› Can help see issues from

that gender’s point of view

Female to female› Like to share personal

concerns and emotional intimate feeling

Types of Friendships Adult friendships

› Older adults offer benefits of their experiences as well as personal friendships.

› They can help put your problems into proper perspective and you as a teen can give them companionship

Other backgrounds› Can bring insights and

information that you might not normally encounter

Making Friends

This can be difficult when the following are a factor:› Shy› Low self-

esteem› Lack of

experience

Some things to realize

You need to realize that you are worthy of being a friend; you have qualities and abilities that people will appreciate

You may fear rejection when taking the first step

Realize that nothing is lost by trying Keep trying until you find what works

for you

What do I do to make friends?

Smile Speak first Introduce yourself Ask simple

questions to get things started

Give sincere compliments

Focus on others instead of yourself

Qualities that a friend will look for…

Friendly and cheerful Courteous Clean, neat, well-

groomed Interest in other

people A good listener Easy to get along with Good sense of humor

Where to look for friends…

Part-time job Community events Community centers Become a volunteer School functions Develop a new

interest Join a team

How do you maintain friendships?

Oldest and strongest friendships require the most work› Tend to take each other for granted› You become less kind and considerate› Accept friends› Encourage friends in their goals/praise

them› Apologize when you hurt friends› Be loyal, reliable and share with each other

Reciprocity

Mutual give and take in the relationship Does not mean that you will always

agree on everything with your friend Honesty is also an important part of

friendship Need to respect each other and accept

difference of opinions

Challenges of Friendships

Peer pressure – attempt to influence someone in a similar age group› May be positive or negative› True friends do not ask a friend to do

something that they are uncomfortable with

› No one can make you do something you do not want to do When you want to be accepted and are

sensitive to criticism this becomes difficult

Challenges of Friendships

Handling peer pressure› High self esteem helps to see proper

perspective Competition

› Can be healthy or hazardous Popularity – to be liked and accepted

by many› Develop positive traits and care about

others› Don’t worry about trying to be popular

Challenges

Loneliness› Do not have to be alone to be lonely› “Giving in” to these feelings increases the

feeling› Friendships is sharing weaknesses as well

as strengths› Loneliness must be overcome with action› Feel afraid others will not accept them

This causes them to withdraw

Cliques

Groups that become exclusive, deliberately rejecting people

May scorn or ignore others outside the clique

Can cause hurt feelings

Troubled Friendships

Happens because people grow and change

The friends have less in common

Ending a Friendship

If a friendship is causing you trouble/affecting your life…› End the friendship

When specific problems occur…› Deal directly with the friend

Break off a friendship with tact and concern› Express feelings without blaming or

judging the other person

Feelings after a loss of a friend Feel sad Feel lonely Maybe guilty or

blame self Time helps lessen

pain

The End!

Do you have the qualities of a good friend?