CHAPTER19

GoodSamaritans:Roy,NancyMuehlbergerandOthers

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HappyLandinginthelandoftheFree!

RoyandNancyMuehlberger,oursponsorsinJune1975

FirstdayoutofCampPendleton:June1975Điểu,Marie,ournieceAnhandherfamily

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Then1975andnow2012

2012

2012

One sunny day in June 1975, the camp office phone rang. It was forme.(Therewerenocellphonesinthosedays.)Ipickedupthephoneand,ontheotherendoftheline,wasacompletestranger:RoyMuehlberger.Hesaidhewantedtosponsormeandmywifeoutofthecamp.WewouldstayinhishomeinMontecitonearSantaBarbara.Iwasquitesurprisedandtoldhim:“Idon’tknowyouandyoudon’tknowme,whydoyouwanttosponsorme?Hesaid:“Peopledothat.Ihave

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learne aboutyoufromTheLosAngelesTimesandseveralTVnewsstations. Itcould

dbeme.Youareaboutmyage.YouwerefromMITandIwasfromCaltech.”IcouldnotsayyesyetbecauseIdidnotknowenoughaboutRoy.BesidesI

was seriously concerned about a gay man in California sponsoring me to hishome.Butnaturally,Icouldnotaskhimthatquestiondirectly.Itriedtokeephimalking for a while hoping for some breakthrough information about hisackgtb

roundduringourconversation.

Sureenough:“QueSera,Sera”“Whateverwillbe,willbe.”Astheconversationcontinued,Roysaid:”Ihavetwodaughters,Marionand

Frances. Marion has completed her studies at UCLA. Frances is still at DukeUniversity.Nancy,mywife,anutritionist,islivingwithmeinourMontecitohome.Ihaveabrotherwhoisascientistworkingonthegeologyofthemoon…”tthispoint,thankGod,IfeltrelievedandsafetoacceptRoy’sofferandpolitelyhankedhimforhisgenerosityandhospitality.At

Roy&Nancy’shomeinMontecito,Ca

Roywaskindenoughto findanothersponsor formyniece’s familysowecould get out of camp at the same time.My niece’s sponsorwas Peter Frick, aGermanAmericanimmigrant.

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A few days after the phone call, Roy came to camp Pendleton with hisMercedes‐Benz 450SEL. He took us home.We had not much baggage, just thesmall Saigonhandbagandanewsuitcasewithdonated clothing from the campffice.TheMarinesgavewarmclothingtotherefugeesbecauseCampPendletoneath

ow erwasquitecoolcomparedtotropicalSaigon.

PeterFrick,whosponsoredmyniecefamily,wasatthecamptoo.Itwasabig day for all of us, our D day in America! We all went together to Roy andancy’shome.Afterdinner,Peterwenthomewithhis fivenewimmigrants.WeeltlikNf elandingonPlymouthRockinthe20thcentury.

Roy toldme that for the first time inhis life,hehadacouple living inhishome. Marie and I also, for the first time, received free room and board fromomplete strangers. We had our nice, private bedroom in a modest home atchoocS lhouseRoad.MarieandIdidourbesttopleaseoursponsors.

IlearnedthatRoy’sparentshadcholesterolproblems.Asaresult,RoyandNancywereverystrict incontrolling theirnutrition. Itwasasurprise forMarieandmetoseethemgivingalltheeggyolkstotheirdog.Theyjustatethewhitepart. They rarely consumed red meat. Nuts were their preferred food. Theyalways drank non‐fat milk. Of course, they ate a lot of vegetables, fruits andcereals. I hadanappetite for the foods they tried to avoid.Butmy flexibility toadapt to new conditions came naturally. I had no problem acceptingwhatwasavailable even if my stomach was half full. Frances seemed to know that wewantedredmeat.Shewenttothesupermarkettobuylambandpreparedastewdish forus. I remembered itwasquiteadelicious treat.Francesalsogavemeaeathaircutinthebackyard.Ilearnedfrommyniece'sfamilythattheirGermanmerinA cansponsoratealotmoreanddrankalotofbeer!

Roy toldme that hewanted to sponsormebecausehewished tousemymanagementandengineeringbackgroundforapotentialconstructionprojectinHawaii. Hewanted to participate in the building of Honolulu’s new stadium inearly 1975.However,with themonth’s long delay to processmy paperwork atamp Pendleton, it was too late for him to involve me in that project. To myurpriCs sehegavemea$500dollarcheckasaretainerfee.

IwantedtobehelpfultoRoywhilegettingourroomandboardfromhim.My hobby was designing landscapes and Asian gardens. Looking around hisexistingproperty,IsawagoodopportunitytocreateabeautifulJapanesegardeninthevastspaceofhisbackyard:aredwooddeck5ftabovethelawn.IsuggestedtoRoyadesignofalotuspondwithwaterfallonminiatureRockMountainabove

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apool fullof colorfulKoi. Ihadhadpreviousexperience inSaigoncreatingmyownAsian garden inmy front yard and a roof garden on the third floor ofmyaigonhome.(Seephoto)S

MySaigonRoofGarden

Roy became very interested inmy garden proposal. In fact, hewanted a

complete,classicJapanesehouse.Butinsteadofstartingfromscratch,heworkedwithhisrealestateagent.Withgoodluck,inashortperiodoftime,hefoundandbought a beautiful villa built by an architect who specialized in Japanese stylehomes.ItbelongedtoarichconnoisseurofJapaneseartwhoeveninvitedsomeexperts from Japan to finish the landscape. Here again, the key was location,location, location. The house was built on the side of the hill overlooking theCatalina Islandsoff the SantaBarbara coast.Theviewwasunobstructed.Thereere some beautiful old oak trees next to a classical Japanese garden! It waseyon wb dmybelieftoseesuchanauthenticAsianmasterpieceinawesterntown.

Ihadanopportunity tovisitRoyandNancy in theirnewdreamhouse. Inthe60’s, Ihadseenthesummer Imperial residence in Japan. I couldassureyouthat, although Roy’s home was smaller, its modern, comfortable 20th century

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Americanplumbingmadequiteanimprovementoverthelastcentury’sImperialesign.d

Roy’snew“ImperialSummerPalace”,1975

Backgardenwithguest’shouse

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BackyardlotuspondwithcolorfulKoinearwaterfalls

Japan’sSummerImperialResidence

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Building permits in this “high‐class” zone were very strict. I learnedsomething new about discrimination by economic standards: for instance, eachlotshouldbemorethanoneacreandmusthaveitsowndrinkingwaterwell.TofindwateronthehillofSantaBarbararequiredriskyandexpensiveinvestmentindrillingdeepwells.Roy,agoodentrepreneur,dividedhisavocadoorchardnexttothehome intoseveral lots.Hisnewlydugwaterwells converted those lots intoerysought‐aftersitestobuildexpensiveresidences.Hetoldmeaboutthisgreatvfinancialinvestment! Roy’s entrepreneurial spirit helpedme a lot. I feel fortunate to have hadRoy’s advice aboutmy future career at this turning point inmy life outside ofVietnam.WhenIwasdepressedandhomesick,IwantedtomovetoFrancetobeclose to my family members. Roy convinced me that in the U. S., with mybackgroundfromMIT,Icouldbeafishintheocean.InFrance,Iwouldbeafishinanaquariumandmypotentialwouldbelimited.BesidesthereweremanymoreinternationalcompaniesintheU.S.thaninFrance.Iwouldhaveabetterchoice!Ilearned also from Roy the “German” tradition of hard work. His parents hadimmigratedtoAmericafromGermanyandhisfatherhadworkedasabutcherinorder to send their children to college. In turn, through hardworkwithKaiserEngineers, Inc. Roy had become very successful and decided to start his ownbusiness.RoyandNancyinvestedinabeautifulBestWesternRondeeMotorHotelnSedona,AZ.(Seephotobelow)i

BestWesternRondeeMotorHotelinSedona,AZ

InAsia,well‐todopeople tended to avoidmanualwork.On the contrary,

RoyandNancyweredifferent.Theywoulddoanytypeofworknecessarytokeep

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teheir business successful. I have to thank Roy andNancy for their guidance byxample.

Now during retirement, I have the luxury of looking back at an earlierdecisionmadeinJuly1975,andIhavetosaydeepthankstoRoyforhelpingmeaketherightdirection.ManyofmyVietnamesecolleagues,whosettleddowninrancetF anddidnotdowellhaveprovedRoy’spointofviewtoberight.

Hismoneyspendingpatternwasverysoundandinappropriaterelationtoiswealth.Hisrelationwithhischildrenwasadmirableandhe tookcareofhisrandhg children’seducation.

ThedaywesaidgoodbyetoRoyandNancy,MarieandmynieceAnhputontheirtraditionalVietnamesetunics,“ ÁoDài”,andpreparedacopiousVietnamesefarewelldinner.Theyservedspringrollswithhoisinsauce,crispyimperialrollsith“nướcmắm”fishsauce,caramelizedporkbellystewandbananabeignetsforessert.wd

July1975Farewelldinner:Marie&Anhmyniecein“ÁoDài”

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ImperialRollsSpringRolls

CaramelizedPorkBellyStewBananabeignets

hile livingandworking inSanFrancisco,MarieandIkept in touchwith

RoyandNancyandwereabletovisitthemonseveraloccasions.W

Lefttoright:Quí,mytwinbrother,Marie,Nancy,me,RoyandHoàngmynephewfromNice,France.

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WevisitedRoy&NancyattheirSedonahomewithmybrotherandnephewromFrance.f

AttheweddingofRoy&Nancy’sdaughter,Marion,inSantaBarbara,Nov1980

AtFrances’homeinMonterey,Ca,in2000

WehadareunionatdaughterFrances’home inMonterey, in2000witha

delicious feast of Cantonese roast ducks and crispy roast piglet from SanFranciscospecialBBQhouse.

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ReunionatĐiểu’shome,2011

In2011,RoyandNancywereonacruisetoAlaskaandtheshipstoppedin

SanFrancisco.MarieandIinvitedFrancesandherhusbandforasurpriselunch‐time reunionatwell knownTonKiangRestaurantonGearyStreet.Then in theevening we had dinner at the famous KOI Palace in the Serramonte shoppingenter.Afterdinner,wesentRoyandNancybacktotheshipindowntown.Itwaslotoffunandawonderfultimetogetherwiththem.ca

ReunionatĐiểu’shome,2011Carmel2014,reunionatNancy’shome

ItwasabigshocktoustolearnfromFrancesthatRoypassedawayin2012

in Scottsdale, AZ.Wewere deeply grieved by the great loss of our exceptionalSamaritanfriendwhovoluntarilyextendedvitalassistancetous,totalstrangers,during one of the darkest periods of my American journey and provided an

Good Samaritans 541

importantmilestone ofmy rebirth in this country of adoption, the Land of theree.F

AnotherGoodSamaritan:DickW

hefollowingarethewordsofDickWilson:

ilson,Boise,Idaho

T

“Onemorningin1975Iopenedmynewspaper,theWashingtonPost,toreadabouttheongoingdevelopmentsafterthe fallofSaigon.Thecentercolumnofthefront page contained a series of short vignettes about the Vietnamese refugeesarrivinginHawaiiandtheWestCoast.Onestorydescribedanenergeticyoungmanwho arrived at Camp Pendleton in California and immediately began organizingcivicactioncommitteesandorganizingthecamp.HisnamewasDieuKhuongHuu.

Thenamewas familiar.Duringmy freshmanyearatLafayette Ihadwaited

tablesatWatsonHall.Oneofmy fellowwaiterswasaVietnamese studentwhosename was similar to the one in the newspaper. By an odd quirk of fate, I hadreceivedacopyofthecollegealumnidirectorythedaybeforeinthemail.Ihadnotyeteventakenitoutofitspackage.Iopenedthepackageandcomparedthenameinthenewspaperwiththenameinourclasslist.Itwasthesame.ThemanorganizingtherefugeesinCampPendletonwasmyclassmateandformerfellowwaiter.

MywifeandIwantedtohelpDieuinanywaythatwecouldsoIcalledCampPendleton.Aftersomeexplanations,theMarineontheswitchboardwasabletogetDieuonthetelephone.Wehadnottalkedforovertwentyyearsandittookawhiletorefreshmemories.IfoundoutthatDieuwasinthecampwithhiswifeMarieandhe needed someone to sponsor them before they could be released from CampPendleton.DieumailedmetheformswhichIsignedandmailedbackimmediately.Thenwewaited.Andwaited.

AfterseveraldaysIhadstillnotheardfromDieu.Thiswassupposedtohavebeenasimpleprocedure;submitaformverifyingsponsorship,releasetheinternee.Finally,IcalledCampPendletonandtriedtoreachDieu.IwastoldthathehadtobemovedtoanotherpartofthecampbecausehehadbeenbeatenupbyNguyenCaoKy’sgang.ThiswasshockingnewsbecauseDieuwasapeacefulsortofpersonthatwouldnotbecomeinvolvedwithphysicalviolence.TheMarinethatIspoketocouldnotgivemeanyfurther information,buthewasabletogetDieuonthetelephoneforme.

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DieuwasstillsomewhatshakenandfrustratedthathecouldnotgetreleasedfromPendleton.He said that they couldnot findhispapersandwas stuck in thecampwhilehisfriendsandneighborswerebeingreleased.Itwasatthatpointthatachampionappeared,mywife.

I had to work long hours at my job as Director of Federal GovernmentMarketing for a small computer company.However,mywife, Celia,made it herpersonalmission togetDieu out ofCampPendleton.When I left forwork in themorning she got on the phone to call the offices of congressmen, senators,congressionalaides,andlegislativeassistants.Anyhintofcooperationwasfollowedupwith personal visits to their offices. Finally, after aweek of lobbying shewasreferredtoRepresentativeJohnRousselotfromCalifornia.Hewasnotintheofficeatthe time, but his wife was and she and Celia talked extensively about Dieu’ssituation.Later,wemetwiththecongressmanandheagreedtodowhathecouldtogetDieuoutofthecamp.

AfewdayslaterCeliareceivedatelephonecallfromaMarinemajoratCampPendleton.Hesaid, ‘Idon’tknowwhoyoutalkedtomadam,butwehaveanorderfromtheCommandantoftheMarineCorpstogetMr.DieuoutofCampPendletonTODAY.WehavehadeveryavailableMarinelookingforMr.Dieu’spapersandyouwould notbelievewherewefoundthem.Icanassureyouthathewillbereleasedbytheen

doftheday.’ ThenextweheardDieuwasafreeman.”Webecame close friends.With ourWestphalia camperwewent toBoise,

IdahotoseeDickandCelia.Theyreallygaveusawarmwelcomeandmadeusfeelathome.BothofushappenedtoownidenticalVWWestphaliacampers.WedrovetowildernessGrandjeancampground.Dickknewtheplacewherewecoulddamhotspringswaterfromthebankoftheriverandblenditwithcolderriverwaterogettherightcomfortabletemperature.Thatwasalotoffunforbigcityvisitors!t

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GrandjeanCampground.SacajaweaHotSpringsfrombanksoftheSouthForkofthePayetteRiver

AlotoffunwithDickandCeliainIdaho

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AnotherGoodSamaritan:DonSayenga,Arizona

EastonHall

In the fall of1952, I landedon thisPennsylvania campusalonewithverylittleEnglish.MyroomwasonthegroundfloorofEastonHalldormitory,ontheoppositesideofthisfaçadefacingabeautifulsmallforestanddowntownEaston.AllthestudentsonmyfloorwereUS‐bornfreshmen,andIwastheonlyforeignerfrom the Far‐East! Itwas a shock tome that none of them knew that Vietnamexists on the globe.When Imentioned old French Indochina they realized thattheywerebehindingeography!

MyroomwasnexttoDonSayenga,astudentinmetallurgyfromPittsburgh,

PA.Hewas theheavy‐weight inwrestlingandaLafayette footballplayer. Iwasphysicallythesmallestofthegroupandaping‐pongplayer.Asusual,therewerealways bullies and I seemed to be the target. They taughtme how to swear inEnglishandenjoyedthisgame.Afriendinneedwasafriendindeed.Donwastheonewho always came tomydefense against the bullies. Thanks to his fairnessandhisphysicalstrength,DonbecamemyGodgivennaturalbodyguard.Nomorehard time forme on this floor. One day by pure chance, I usedmy basic Asianartial art to flip one bully on the floor of the shower room.Theword spreadrounma dfastgivingmepeaceofmind.WhenIwastenyearsold,myfatherhadhisfriendfromHainanteachmeChineseKungFu.

Don became my chosen brother for the next seven decades! I felt verylonelyonmyfirstChristmas in1952inAmerica.DoninvitedmetohishomeinPittsburgh,PAtospendtheholidayswithhisparents.Thatwasanunforgettablesouvenir. Being in the steel capital of the US, Don showed me at night thespectacularviewofredhotslagsbeingdumpedfromrail‐wagonsoutsideofWestMifflinTownship.

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WestMifflinTownshipRedSlagDumpnearPittsburg,PA

During theschoolyear,wewent to thegymtogether.Wehad fun inNew

YorkCity70milesaway.Hemademefeellesshomesick.Donwantedmetojoinhiswrestling teamasa lightweightmember. Ideclinedbecause Iwasafraidofreceivingblowstomyheadthatcouldhindermystudyinengineering.In1966asdeputyministerofeconomy, IhadachancetocomebacktoWashingtonDCforthe IMF and World Bank meeting. There Don and I had a mini reunion. IrememberdrivinghissportyCorvette!DonandIwentbacktoLafayettecampusseeingour formerprofessors.Thewar inVietnamwasveryhotand theEastonxpress newspaper and The LAFAYETTE magazine has asked me for anterv

Ein iew.

“WhatisyourreactiontotheAmericanstudentswhodemonstratedagainstUSpolicyinVietnam?”“Idon’tthinktheyknowenoughtodemonstrate.Theyjustdemonstrate on the basis of a few things they know. But is that enough? ThedemonstrationshelpedtheVietCong…”(seebelowLafayetteMagazine)

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In 1975, I came back to the US with my wife Marie this time as empty‐handedrefugeesinMarineCampPendleton,CA.WefeltverydepressedandagainDonwas there tohelpus.HekeptourLafayette classmates informedaboutmysituation.

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Good Samaritans 549

DonandCarleneĐiểuandDon2014

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LunchinSanFranciscoJapantownBenihana

withmynieceSangandRenauldfromReims,France

By the way Don was a wrestler friend of Rocky Aoki, a Japanese‐born

Americanwrestler and restaurateurwho founded the popular Japanese cuisineestau antchainr r

Benihana.

DongivingalecturebeforetheannualconventionoftheASCEin2015

In 2017, I feel sad to learn that my good buddy Don is fighting against

cancerandwillmovebacktoPennsylvaniafromArizona.

oOo

Inmy adopted NewWorld land, I am lucky and happy to have had DickWilsonandDonSayengaasclassmates,buddiesandbestofallasrealbrothersinmyfamily.