chapter 4 31 functional writing - university of otago

31CHAPTER 4FUNCTIONAL WRITING

The focus of this chapter is on functional writing. Students were asked topresent information clearly and accurately in written form. They acted as re-porters, gave instructions, prepared advertisements, wrote party invitations,left notes, filled in forms, and wrote letters, faxes and e-mail messages.

The results for seventeen tasks are reported here. Eleven of these were iden-tical for both year 4 and year 8. Two tasks were administered only to year 4students, and four tasks were administered only to year 8 students. Eleventasks were administered using the stations approach, two using the one toone approach, and three using the independent approach.

Five of the tasks have been selected as link tasks (to be used again in the year2002) and therefore are not described in detail here. Four of these link taskswere attempted by both year 4 and year 8 students, while the fifth was a com-puter-based task attempted only by year 8 students. The other twelve tasks arereleased tasks for which full details are given.

The tasks are presented in the following order: the seven released tasks for both year 4 and year 8 students; the two released tasks for year 4 students; the three released tasks for year 8 students; the four link tasks for both year 4 and year 8 students; the link tasks for year 8 students.

Considering the eleven tasks which allowed comparisons of the performanceof year 4 and year 8 students, on average 32 percent more year 8 studentsthan year 4 students gained high scores. The margin of superiority rangedfrom 25 percent of students on one task to 44 percent of students on another.These margins are among the largest recorded in four years of national moni-toring, perhaps reflecting the greater opportunities year 8 students have hadto practice the writing conventions associated with many of these tasks.

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Questions/instructions

32 NEMP Report 12: Writing 1998

Fold a bit of card boardin Half.

fold yo piece of paper inhalf.

First fold the cardboard.

then, on one half paintthe mask red.

now paint the right sidered

Paint one side of themask (The right one)Red.

Paint one side Red.

MID

RAN

GEH

IGH

RAN

GEM

ID R

ANGE

HIG

H R

ANGE

Picture 1: fold cupboard in half 55 91

Picture 2: draw curve 47 63

Picture 3: cut along curve 89 95

Picture 4: draw mouth & cut out 39 68

draw mouth or cut out 37 27

Picture 5: draw eyes & cut out 42 71

draw eyes or cut out 47 27

Picture 6: paint right side red 47 63

paint red or paint right side 37 32

Picture 7: paint left side blue 46 62

paint blue or paint left side 41 32

Picture 8: two or three features 20 55

one feature 56 34

Picture 9:run glue stick along uncut edge 48 63

Picture 10: two or three features 24 63

one feature 56 28

TOTAL SCORE: 13–16 21 57

9–12 43 35

5–8 26 70–4 10 1

Commentary

Fifty-seven percent of year 8 students gave a good to excellent descripton of how to make the mask, comparedto 21 percent of year 4 students.

first fold the piece ofcardboard (30cm x40cm) in half.

Making a Mask

Independent Year 4 and year 8

Video showing (these) photos of a mask being made; colour photo ofcompleted mask; answer sheet showing (these) pictures (black and white).

This is what you need to do:

1. Watch the video which shows how tomake a mask.

2. Look at the photo of the mask.

3. Under each picture write clear instruc-tions which tell how to make the maskshown in the photo.

This is what is needed to make the maskcardboard (30cm x 40cm)coloured paperscissorsgluestickfelt penpaintspaintbrush

Start writing on the next page

1

6

STUDENT 1: YEAR 8

STUDENT 2: YEAR 4

STUDENT 1: YEAR 8

STUDENT 3: YEAR 8

STUDENT 3: YEAR 8

STUDENT 4: YEAR 4

STUDENT 4: YEAR 4

STUDENT 2: YEAR 4

Chapter 3: Expressive Writing 33

5

7 8 10

3 4

9

2

then, get a pair ofscissors and cut downthe line you have drawnwith your pen.

after that, draw a smileymouth near the bottomof the shape you havecut out.

then, unfold the piece ofcardboard and draweyes near the top of thecardboard as shown.

& on the other half Paintit blue.

Then get a piece ofyellow card fold and cutas shown.

where you have foldedthe the card put gluethere.

cut along that line

Cut out Where theline is.

Cut the curve across thepaper

draw a moon shapepointing inward and thencut that out

draw half a Bannanashape on the fold andthen cut it out

Cut a mouth curvey

unfold it then draw eyes& cut them out

Then draw the eyesThen cut them out.

Draw some eyes for themash.

now paint the left sideblue

Then the other sideBlue. Wait for paint todry.

Paint the other side blue

now get a piece of paperfold it at the top & cutstrips at the rest of thepaper

Cut slits in yellow card tomake hair.

Cut some strips hangingfrom paper.

now put glue at the topbit of the paper

glue it with glue

glue the paperto get put onthe head

& turn the mask over andstick the card on the backnear the top. fold one stripdown one up & so forth tillyou are finished. THEEND.

now stick that at the topof the mask

Then place the hair onthe mask do anythingyou want with the hair.

And stick the hair on

next get a pen and drawa line as shown

Draw about two cm fromthe top corner whichisn’t folded to the corneropposite it but it has tobe curved.

Draw a curved line fromthe Top left corner to theBottom Right.

Drawing a curveDiagnlely.

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The newest addition to Wellington Zoo has just made his first wobbly public appearance.Giraffes are normally born at night, but this long legged fellow arrived prematurely in the afternoon. At a shade over 2 metres, he’s tall for hisage. Newborn giraffes usually step in at about 1.8m. The first son of parents Riki and Tiza, he doesn’t yet have a name but the zoo says its likelyto have an African flavour. He will be moved to Hamilton Zoo before he’s a year old.

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Ability to catch attention, interest: very good 3 6good 13 21

moderate 35 48poor 49 25

Appropriate style/format features:follows newspaper conventions

highly appropriate 1 6quite appropriate 14 38

some appropriate 52 40not appropriate 33 16

Factual content: all correct & relevant 9 21mostly correct & relevant 23 40

some partially correct 41 30very little or no correct information 27 9

Coherence: good 27 39partial 52 49

not at all coherent 21 12

TOTAL SCORE:9–11 3 116–8 22 39

3–5 42 370–2 33 13

Commentary

Many students did not adopt a style or formatappropriate to a newspaper article, or come upwith an ‘attention — capturing’ opening. About 25percent more year 8 than year 4 studentsperformed at a quite high to high level.


Imagine the picture of babygiraffe is going to be in thenewspaper.

After watching the video,write a short news story to go with the photograph.

Use the information in the video for your story.You will see the video two times.

Start the video now

Baby Giraffe

Independent Year 4 and year 8

Video of a television news report on the birth of a baby giraffe.

HIGH RANGE

A baby giraffe arrived in the Wellington zoo yes-terday afternoon. He has not yet got a namebut it’s likely to be a african one. He is very tallfor a new born giraffe, usually they are 1.8 me-ters but he, as the son of Riki and Tera, is over2 meters tall. He will be moved to the hamiltonzoo soon. If you want to see him, catch thewave of crowd and come today. Report byName (YEAR 8)

An unusual arrival, this afternoon, as a baby gi-raffe was born at Wellington zoo. The baby gi-raffe, presently without a name is the first son of“Rikki”, and “Teaser”. The resident giraffes atWellington zoo. This baby giraffe is unusual be-cause he was born in the afternoon, where asmost giraffes are born at night. Also he is tallfor his age, standing at two metres, where asnew born giraffes usually are about one metreeighty centimetres. (YEAR 8)

MID RANGE

New born giraffe at Auckland zoo it is till for hisage 2 metres till. most are 1.8 metres it has noname yet but his Perants are Rickie and Izamoveing to Hanlati. (YEAR 8)

the Bobaby giraffe was Burn in the afternoneand All giraffes are Burn at night and are only1.5 mites tall But it was 2.5 mites tall and theyare sending it of to hamilton zoo and pople arecroweding to see it (YEAR 4)

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Chapter 4: Functional Writing 35

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indicates bike for sale 81 98

refers to condition/type/features of bike 71 93

price mentioned 58 71

contact phone number

or address indicated 47 70

Effectiveness of advertisement:(persuasiveness)

highly effective 4 17

moderately effective 27 41

slightly effective 40 33

not effective 29 9

Commentary

The most common omission was information abouthow to contact the seller. About 60 percent of year8 students and 30 percent of year 4 studentsproduced an advertisement rated moderately orhighly effective.

Bike for Sale

Station Year 4 and year 8

Picture of bicycle.

Look at the picture of the bike.

Imagine that it is your bike, and that you want tosell it.

Write a short advertisement to go in the “For Sale”column in the newspaper.

Before you write your advertisement:Think about the important information you willneed to give.

Write your advertisement in the spacebelow. Don’t draw any pictures.

Bike For Sale ! ! !

10 speed, SCOtt,front and backbrakes; etc....exellent condition 2 years oldhardly used.

Only $500PH: phone no. (YEAR 8)

For Sale!1 red Scott Peak bike!Only 3 months old!21 gears!Includes drink bottle holder.Adjustable seat and bars.For sale for $110If you are interested, please contactname on phone no. (YEAR 8)

I want to sell ared Scott Mountain bikewith J-bars and drinkholder. It also has a lightand 21 gears. Itlooks like newand is about$500. (YEAR 8)

BIKE For Sale

A bike is going to on saleon Sunday it is going to be infrontof a white creamy garrage inwellington. It has two lights thatturn on orange. And it has aspechal spechal drink holder.It costs 100 dollars. It willbe on sale from Sundayto the next week. It takes eftpos.And we could hold onto it untillyou pay or keep if you pay and whenyou want to get it you can. (YEAR 4)

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Aspects included: who invitation is to 47 75

who invitation is from 49 61

where party will be held 57 85

phone number to contact 25 49

day 27 30

date 26 52

start time 49 73

end time 22 43

nature of event 71 82

reason for event 24 34

RSVP instructions or equivalent 15 36

what to bring 33 53

TOTAL SCORE:

9–12 3 20

5–8 52 66

0–4 45 14

HIGH RANGE

YEAR 8

Party Time


Blank invitation card in answer booklet.

Imagine that you are planning to have aparty for your friends.

Use the card to write an invitation to afriend who has never been to your placebefore.

Give your friends all of the informationabout the party that they would need.


MID RANGE

YEAR 8

YEAR 8

YEAR 4

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Aspects included: appropriate salutation 48 80

welcoming comment 18 55

school start time 57 83

school finish time 56 80

school uniform needed ? 62 77

extra details on uniform 12 39

popular sports & activities 8 15

[popular sports only] 37 55

Appropriate ending e.g. name 47 79

From: year 8 class 24 61

individual 55 36

To: Pat Dodd 65 86

Date: indicated 89 96

Commentary

On average, about 25 percent more year 8 thanyear 4 students included each of the listed features.The largest differences occurred on features whichmade the message more personal and welcoming.

Fax Message


Fax message received and blank copy reply form.

Look at the fax message. Imagine that youare at Newtime School and that your classhas been sent this fax.

Write a reply to the fax, using the specialfax form on the next page.

FROM Year 8 classNewtime SchoolFax number 02 987 654

TO Pat Dodd16 South Road Nelson.Fax number 03456123

DATE 31 August 1998

Dear Pat,In reply to the fax you sent our school here are

the answer’s to the questions you sent.Our school starts at ten to 9 everyday and finishesat 10 to 3.Yes are school does have a uniform black shortsfor boys, patterned collutes for girls, blue or yellowpolo shirts for both as well as a school jumper.The most popular sport is soccer as the mostpopular activity would be sport.

Thanks for your faxYear 8 class

FROM Year 8 classNewtime SchoolFax Number: 02 987 654

TO Pat Dod16 South Road,NelsonFax Number: 03 456 123

DATE 7th September 1998

Dear Pat Dodd,We are glad to hear that you may be joining outclass next year.Our school starts at 9.00am and finishes at3.00pm each day. We have a uniform whichconsists of shorts, a shirt, a tie, and a jumper. Theshoes are brown.For the boys the most popular sports are cricket,rugby and soccer. We all enjoy playingknuclebones and Tazos.We hope to see you here next year,Yours sincerely,Year 8 class.

HIGH RANGE


MID RANGE

FROM Year 8 ClassNewtime SchoolFax # 0

TO Pat Dodd16 South Road, NelsonFax # 03 456 123

DATE 1 August

Dear PatWe’re glad you’re comingSchool starts at 8.30am and ends at 3.00pmYes we doNetball, Hockey, Soccer, Rugby, Volleyball,swimming are all very popular!From Year 8 Class

FROM Year 8 class,Newtime schoolFax No. 02 987 654

TO Pat Dodd16 South road, NelsonFax No. 03 456 123

DATE 24 August 1998

Dear Pat Doddthis school starts at 8:50, and ends at 3:10 eachday, we have a uniform, and it depends on theperson, which sport they like.Yours sincerely,Year 8 class.

FROM Year 8 ClassNewtime SchoolFax number 02 987 654

TO Pat Dodd16 South road Nelson.Fax Number 03 456 123

DATE 1 August 1998

Dear PatNewtime School starts at 8.45 am and finishes at3.00 pm.New-time school has a uniform.The most popular sports and activities are rugby,netball, cricket, tennis, gymnastics I think that itabout it.I hope this is all the information you need.fromNewtime schoolFROM Yr 8 class

New Time SchoolFax number 02 987 654

TO Patt Dodd16 South Rd NelsonFax number 03456123

DATE 11 August 1998

Dear Pat Dodd,We’d love you to visit!!Well our school times are 8.45-3.15And we wear mufti all day,we love all sports, expecially track + field ones.Thanks,Year 8 Class

FROM Pat Dodd10 South Road NelsonFax Number 03 456 123

TO year 4 classNewtime SchoolFax Number 02 987 654

DATE 1 october 1998

Dear Pat DoddMy school starts at 90.0 cloolk and finishes at 30.0My school has a uniform. Art and danshroundsFrom Laura.

FROM Kyle WentTO Pat doddDATE 1st October 1998

Dear pat doddthe time is 9.00am to 3.00pm (6 hours)It does have a uniform, the activetys popualr aresports, games, p.e.

FROM Year 4 ClassNew time SchoolFax Number 02 987 654

TO Pat Dodd 16 South Road, NelsonFax Number 03 456 123

DATE 27 OctoberDear Pat DoddWe look fores to have you:We finish school and start school at 9.30 till 3.30.We have a uniform.The most popular sports are rugby a crickiet atethe momet crickiet and T.ballThanksYer 4 Class

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Appropriateness to audience: e.g. simple sentences

very good 5 26good 32 55

moderate 55 17inappropriate 8 2

Inclusion of personal information: substantial 16 39some 38 40

little/none 46 21

Clarity of expression: makes sensevery good 5 23

good 37 60moderate 49 15

not clear 9 2


5–6 25 44

3–4 33 26

0–2 37 6Commentary

About two thirds of year 8 students, and about onethird of year 4 students produced letters whichhad several positive features.

street address

New Zealand

Monday 31st August

Hi! My name is name. I am 12 years old andhave brown hair and brown eyes.

My favourite hobbie is sports. I also like sewingand baking.

I have no pets. I wish I had a kitten. Do youhave any pets?

I live in New Zealand and it’s cold. It is in Au-gust.

Can you please write back soon.

Your friend

signature (YEAR 8)

street address

Auckland

New Zealand

31 August 1998

Dear Sali,

Hi, my name is name. I am 12 years old. I havegreen eyes, blond hair and white skin. I amquite tall. I have three pets - two cats calledMarble and Lightning and one budgie calledpineapple. Do you have any pets ? I live withmy mum, dad and little brother. Do you haveany brothers or sisters? Your English is verygood I’m sure you are learning quickly. NewZealand is sometimes hot and sometimes coldit depends on the seasons. I like your photoalot.

Thank you for writing. Please write soon.

Your Pen Pal

signature

P.S. You can call me name. (YEAR 8)

Pen Pal


Letter from Sali, photograph of Sali.


Sali is wanting a Pen Pal.

Read Sali’s letter, then write aletter back on the next page.

Try to make your letter interestingfor Sali to read.

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HIGH RANGE


address

Hi sali, I Heard you wanted me to be yourpenpal and to know a lot about me, well myname is name I am nine years old, I heard itgets hot in Fiji sometimes it gets hot here to, Ialso like playing Rugby I have one brother whois 17 I have one sister who is 19

Do you have any brothers or sisters? I’ll belooking forward to your next letter bye bye.

your freind

name (YEAR 4)

address

27 September 1998

Dear Sali,

My name is name and I am 12 years old. I livein Auckland which is in the North Island ofNew-Zealand. You’re the first Pen Pal I haveever had.

I have 2 sisters, a mum & dad. I also own 1fish. I go to name Intermediate School, butnext year I’m going to college called name.

Do you have any hobbies? I do. I play Netballfor the school and made it into a North Har-bour Rep team. I also do Rhythmic Gymnas-tics full time. As you can tell my favouritehobbie is sport.

Over in New-Zealand it’s just about the end ofwinter so it’s been a bit cold.

Recently I’ve been to Australia for a gym com-petition and I got a bronze medal. That wasquite cool. Well I’ve got to go now. I’m lookingforward to hearing from you soon.

Yours sincerely signature (YEAR 8)

MID RANGE

address

1/8/98

Hi my name is name I live is name it is in NewZealand. I play rugby. so, I hope you like myletter.

you frend

name (YEAR 8)

street address

8 September 1998

Hi my name is name. I like you to be my penpal I live in New Zealand and it is cold. I reallylike you photo.

I am 13 years old. I have a Mum a dad andsister.

Please write back soon.

Your pen pal

name (YEAR 8)

Dear Sali I live in Timaru I like your photo andI like video games playing cricket and tennis. Ihave five counsines I’m eight years old I live ina small house. I like maths and my mum anddad don’t live together I hope you are having anince time in Fiji.

from name (YEAR 4)

Dear Sali

My name is name and come from town - NewZealand. In town it is hot and cold dependingon the season. My hobies include drums, TV,toys, food, Playstation. I also love the TV pro-gram South Park. My favourt subject is Maths.Whats yours? I have a Mother and Fatherwho are seperated and an anoying sister, I liveat street address. At the moment Im in theschool play. My carecter is a bishop.

Yours Sincerly

name

P.S: Write back please (YEAR 4)

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HIGH RANGE

Aspects included:

who to 79 92

who from 62 77

time left 4 12

where going 79 93

who with 77 93

doing what 53 61

home when 59 86

contact information 15 32

TOTAL SCORE:

6–8 21 53

4–5 52 42

2–3 22 5

0–1 5 0

Commentary

Over half of the year 8 students, compared to only21 percent of year 4 students, produced a quitefull and informative note.

Dear Family

I have gone out with my Friendto the movies I left at 3:30 Ishould be back after the movieat 5:30 I’ve gone to Hoyts 5Cinema in lower Hutt see youwhen I get Back

love name (YEAR 8)

Note Pad


None

Imagine that after you get home fromschool you are going to go somewherewith a friend to do something.

There is nobody at home so you need towrite a note which explains where youare going and what you will be doing.

Make sure you put all of the importantinformation in your note.

To Mum and Dad.I have gone over to Kimberly’shouse to do my homework, Ileft at 4.00pm and I’ll be backat 6.30pm I’m having dinnerthere as well. I’ve had a sho-wer and I’ve done a fe-w chores, any problems ringKimberlys house at phone no.

Lovename (YEAR 8)

To Mum

I am out shopping with Melissa.I will be home at aprox. 5 pm.Melissa’s dad will take mehome. We will be on our bikesso don’t worry if it’s not there.

From name (YEAR 4)

To Mum or Dad

I have gone for a bike ridewith Ailson and Christina I willbe back before dark

from name (YEAR 8)

MID RANGE

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MID RANGE

Date: yes, correct place 5

yes, elsewhere 4Sender’s address: yes, correct place 7

yes, elsewhere 13Recipient’s address: yes, correct place 47

yes, elsewhere 21Appropriate salutation 50

Appropriateness of language: always 16mostly 36

sometimes 27

rarely / never 21Requests key information: yes, clearly 56

vaguely 30no 14

Appropriate closing salutation 22Name/signature of sender: full 29

partial 29

Commentary

Most of the year 4 students were unlikely to includeadequate information so that a reply could be sentto them.

Bookshop Letter

Station Year 4

Picture of book Fred and the Wasp.

Pretend that you want to find out if thebookshop has Fred and the Wasp, andhow much it costs.

Write a letter to the bookshop to askthem if they have the book, and howmuch it is. The address of the bookshopis

Bookshop123 Main RoadAuckland

Set out your letter in the most suitableway.

HIGH RANGE

To the Book shop,

123 Main Road,

Alkland,

15.10.98,

Dear BooK shop,

Do you have Fred and the wasp.

If you do how much does it cost

because I want to by it for my brother

who’s birthday is coming up in a day

and he really wants it.

Dear Bookshop

I was wandering if you have Fred and the wasp

in the Bookshop

could yoy plesae get back to name

my Fax number is fax number

from:name

street address

phone no.

to: Bookshop

123 Main Road

Auckland

Date:4 November 1998

Dear bookshop

have you got a book called fred and the wasp?

how much does this book cost?

when are you open and when are you closed?

Please fax me back.

thanks.

name

From. name

street address

To. Bookshop

123 Main Road Auckland

Dear Book shop

I would like to find out if you have Fred and the

wasp and how much it is.

thanks

name

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% responsesy4

Fun ClubForm

My Name: ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

My Address: ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

My Phone No: ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

My Age: ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

Things I would like to do at Fun Club:

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

A question I want to ask about Fun Club:

○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

phone number given 97

age given 97indicated what would like to do 98

included appropriate question 82

Overall clarity & legibility: excellent 16

very good 44

adequate 32poor 8

Detail/comprehensiveness: very good 29good 50

poor 21

TOTAL SCORE:7–9 565–6 33

3–4 9

0–2 2

Commentary

Year 4 students had considerable success filling inthis form.

Swim, read, partys, fishing, stay up, late,

scary story’s in the dark.

Can you do every thing you, want.

Fun Club

Station Year 4

Form to fill in.

Let’s pretend there is a new fun club andyou want to join.

Fill out the form to join Fun Club.

HIGH RANGE

MID RANGE



Go to fun places e.g lollypops

Go to the Swimming pools

Go to the movies

Go to McDonalds

Do we celeabruit peoples bithdays?



go to the local swimming pool and do art and

craft

how many people are in the fun club at the

moment?



Swim, draw, roller blade, write, read. lear aboutdears.

how dears are skined.



play sprotshave a party

what is a fun club



swimming playing righting

How many people are there



Get together an go to the hot poolsDo activities using codes, compass’, and maps

Do we go on day trips?



Play Games like soccer, ruBgy, golf. Eat Party

food like Pie’s, cake’s, PoPcorn, iceceram.

Does it cost any money to get in.



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% responsesy8

Aspects included: who invitation is to 77

who invitation is from 25

where party will be held 52

phone number to contact 12

day 23

date 41

start time 47

end time 23

nature of event 79

reason for event 37

RSVP instructions or equivalent 12

what to bring 23

TOTAL SCORE: 9–12 3

5–8 46

0–4 51

Commentary

Year 8 students were much less successful withthis computer-based task than with thecorresponding paper-and-pencil task, Party Time

(p36) Almost all included some componentsappropriately, but the time limit restricted overallsuccess. Some students spent to much timeworking on nice formats, so that they did not havetime to complete their invitations.

The computer is setup with the homepage showing.This activity, calledParty Time, isdone on the com-puter. Your task isto write an invita-tion to a friend. All of your instructions are on thecomputer.

I want you to do this on your own, includingworking out how to use the computer.

You have 5 minutes to do this task.The computer will tell you when 4 minutes is up.

You can start now by clicking the button that saysParty Time, then begin to do the activity.

Apart from general encouragement to “try thingsout”, do not give the student any help withoperating the computer ‘word processor’.

Party Time (Computer)

One to one Year 8

Macintosh Powerbook 5300CS laptop computer with Hypercard program allowing student toconstruct a party invitation using word processing skills.

You are invited to:name 12th birthdaysleepover

at:street address

suburb

bring:sleeping bag

pillowtoothbrush etc.

from:4.00pm - 10.30am

date:Saturday 2 april

RSPV: phone no.

Friday 1 April

From name

Dear John

I’m having a party at my house on the 23 ofFeburary. Its at 3:30 in the afternoon to7:00 its a begining of year party. Bringyour togs and towel to my house at 15street address. if you can’t come canyou ring me on 123-4567. beforeThoursday.

From name

I hope to see you thier.

MID RANGE

come to my party!

when,4.oo at street address suburbwhat to bring, anything!

Dear Julie,

I am having a party at my house on the 26th of September. it will be a pool party bringyour togs and towl

HIGH RANGE

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What kind of after school job would you most like?

Why are you interested in this kind of job?

Why do you think you are suitable for a job like this?

What do you want to know about this job?

ThursdayFridaySaturdaySunday

Details given appropriately: age 99

month of birth 99male or female 99

days of work 100

job preference 99

Reasons for interest: very good 46good 39

poor/missing 15

Reasons for suitability: very good 56

good 27poor/missing 17

Question 1: very pertinent 79relevant 10



OVERALL CLARITY & LEGIBILITY: excellent 19very good 56

adequate 21poor 4

OVERALL IMPACT: excellent 10very good 34

adequate 42poor 14

Commentary

Year 8 students generally filled in this form well.The weakest areas involved giving effective reasonsfor their interest and suitability.

Job Application

Station Year 8 only

Application form.

Imagine that you want an after school jobto get some extra pocket money.

School Job Search tries to find jobs forpeople who fill out their form.

Fill out the form as best you can, so thatyou could have a good chance of gettingthe job you would like.

HIGH RANGE

Looking after pets or baby-sitting

Because I love little kids & injoy looking after &taking care of them.

Because I have had heaps of jobs with lookingafter my baby sisters.

1. How long they will be out for

2. the address in case something happens.

3. Some things the kids like to do.

Your name and address:

AgeMonth of BirthMale or FemaleTick the days of the week you want to work:MondayTuesdayWednesday

What kind of after school job would you most like?delivering newspaperslooking after pets

cutting grassmilk delivery

something else (say what it is)



What do you want to know about this job?Write three questions you want answered.1.2.3.






























Because I love animals, I have lot’s myself andknow how to take care of them.

1. If there is an emergency and I can’t look afterthe animal/pet what happens?

2. What is the Pay?

3. How many hours do I have to work?

I have been to some courses about the care oflots of different Pets. I have the facilities to lookafter them and love animals

Looking after petsDelivering newspapers

It would help me get fitter.It wouldn’t take up the whole day

I’m quite fit

I always do everything on time

1. When do the papers need delivered?

2. Do they need to be delivered by a certain time?

3. How much will I get payed?

Delivering newspapers

It is quite an easy job, and it doesn’t take toolong to do it in.

It is not a very hard job, and you don’t get avery bad pay.

1. How much do you get paid.

2. Where do I deliver.

3. What day will I work.

Looking after pets or babysitting

So I can show my parents that I can work withanimal’s and earn some money.

Because I can handle being around animals

1. What type of animals would I look after?

2. What would I do?

3. how long will I work for?

Babysitting

Well I like babies at it would help me be a goodmother if I have a child.

Delivering newspapers

I need money, It sounds like fun

1. how many papers

2. what Rd

3. walk or bike

I’ve got a go-cart (motorised)

because I have this before so I would knowwhat to do

1. Would I have to supply my own lawn mower?

2. How long would I have to work each day?

3. How much would I get paid per hour?

Cutting grass

because I love being outdoors and close tonature.

I look after my sisters baby and I like lookingafter kids (Most times)

1. What are your children like?

2. How long would you like me to babysit?

3.

MID RANGE

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Sender Address.Coca Cola Company street addressP.O. Box 641, suburbNewmarket, cityAuckland

7th September, 1998

Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is name and I am in need of someinformation on how Coca Cola is made for aname Intermediate, school project based onsoft drinks.I would be very appreciative if you could sendme some information.Thank,you,

Yours sincerely,name.

Date: yes, correct place 28

yes, elsewhere 16Sender’s address: yes, correct place 33

yes, elsewhere 25Recipient’s address: yes, correct place 47

yes, elsewhere 12Appropriate salutation 72

Appropriateness of language: always 29

mostly 42sometimes 23

rarely/never 6Requests key information: yes, clearly 70

vaguely 24no 6

Appropriateness closing salutation 74Name/signature of sender: full 70

partial 18

Commentary

Like their year 4 counterparts in Bookshop Letter

(p43), year 8 students often omitted return addressinformation. A much higher proportion, however,included appropriate salutations and indicated whowas sending the letter.

HIGH RANGE

street addresssuburbcity

Coca Cola CompanyP.O. Box 641NewmarketAuckland

1.9.98

Dear Sir/Madame

I am doing a class project on Coke.I was wondering, if there would be anypossibility if you would be able to send mesome information on how coke is made.

My adress is above.

Kind regardsname

Coke

Station Year 8

Picture of coke bottle.

Imagine that you want information for aschool project about how Coke is made.

Write a letter to the Coca Cola Company,whose address is P.O. Box 641,Newmarket, Auckland.

Set out your letter in the most suitable way.


MID RANGE

Po box 641New marketAuckland31/8/98

To the manager of Coca Cola in Auckland,I am doing a school project

on your product and would like to know if youcould send me some imformation that mightbe help full please send this information tostreet address suburb.

yours senserlyname

name Intermediate Schoolstreet addresssuburbcity

Coca cola companyP.O. Box 641New MarketAuckland

4 September 1998

Dear Sir/Madam,I am writing to find out how coke is made for aschool project.I would be much obliged if you would send mesome information.

Your sincerely,name

24.8.98Coca Cola CompanyP.O BOX 641New Market, Auckland

Dear Coke

I am doing a project on Coca Cola and I wouldmost appeciate if you sent me out informationon where they make Coke and how long ittake’s and any other information that you thinkis neccacery for a project.

Thanksname

Coca Cola CompanyP.O.Box 641Newmarket, AucklandDear Manager,Our school is doing a project on how coke ismade we were thinging you could help us ifyou can send our information to:schoolstreet addresscityThanks.

namestreet addresssuburb, city, postcodeNew Zealand

24th August, 1998

To the Manager,My name is name and I am 13years old. I amat name School, Year 8.I am doing a project for General Studies onCoke: the ingredients; how it is made & whatequipment is necessary.Please could you send me some imformation.

Your devoted drinker,

name

street addresssuburbcity postcode

P.O BOX 641NewmarketAUCKLAND

24 August 1998,

Dear Coca Cola Comapny,

I am a student at name School. We are doinga study on how to make Coca Cola. Would itbe okay for you to send me some informationabout how to make it at the above address.

Thank you very much for helping me.

Your sincerlynamesignatureYear 8 student.


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LINK TASK 4

Year 4 and year 8

Independent

Video

Students were asked to write an accurateaccount of something they viewed.

Accurate details included: 6–9 20 46

4–5 48 38

2–3 26 14

0–1 6 2


9–12 32 50

5–8 58 34

0–4 10 5

LINK TASK 5

Year 4 and year 8

Station

Several items

Students were asked to constructsomething and then write instructionsfor doing the task.


10–12 3 18

7–9 14 26

4–6 22 17

1–3 26 11

0 31 13

LINK TASK 6

Year 4 and year 8

Independent

Audio recording on video.

Students were asked to write an accurateaccount of something they listened to.

Accurate details included: 7–9 4 23

5–6 17 40

3–4 36 29

1–2 30 6

0 13 2

LINK TASK 7

Year 4 and year 8

Station

Letter & envelope

Students were asked to construct anappropriate reply to a letter.


7–10 16 454–6 36 28

0–3 46 10

LINK TASK 8

Year 8 only

One to one

Laptop computer

Students were asked to reply to ane-mail message.

TOTAL SCORE: 9–10 207–8 38

5–6 243–4 8

1–2 120 8

CommentaryAbout 90 percent of year 8 students clearlymanaged to use the computer effectively, with 82percent constructing a satisfactory message.

chapter 4 31 functional writing - university of otago

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