Chapter 5--KottmanChapter 5--Kottman

Meeting the childMeeting the child Eye levelEye level Communicate funCommunicate fun First namesFirst names Redirect attention away from Redirect attention away from

apprehension apprehension

Getting to the Play RoomGetting to the Play Room

Direct- Don’t ask. Direct- Don’t ask. • It’s time to go to the play roomIt’s time to go to the play room

Reassure Reassure • Mom (Dad) will be waiting here for us Mom (Dad) will be waiting here for us

when we get back when we get back Mom can go to the play room for Mom can go to the play room for

the first 10 minutesthe first 10 minutes

Getting Started in the PlayroomGetting Started in the Playroom

This is our play room. In here you can This is our play room. In here you can do many of the things you want to do.do many of the things you want to do.

Book for child about play therapy Book for child about play therapy What did your mom (teacher) tell you What did your mom (teacher) tell you

about coming here?about coming here? Explain the counseling relationship (p. Explain the counseling relationship (p.

54)54)

Explaining Counselor’s Perception Explaining Counselor’s Perception of Presenting Problem of Presenting Problem

Match child’s level of vocabularyMatch child’s level of vocabulary Avoid jugmental words, i.e. bad, Avoid jugmental words, i.e. bad,

good, in trouble, you have a good, in trouble, you have a problemproblem

““Your mom told me that you seem Your mom told me that you seem pretty unhappy and that you pretty unhappy and that you sometimes hurt yourself”sometimes hurt yourself”

Aligning GoalsAligning Goals Looking and listening for Looking and listening for

behaviors and/or attitudes the behaviors and/or attitudes the childwants to change, i.e. being childwants to change, i.e. being teased, not getting along with teased, not getting along with sibling, teacher, parent, feeling sibling, teacher, parent, feeling out of control.out of control.

Explaining the counseling Explaining the counseling process and logisticsprocess and logistics

When, where, how often, and When, where, how often, and how long will counseling take how long will counseling take placeplace

Parent consultationParent consultation ConfidentialityConfidentiality Goals of counselingGoals of counseling

Expaining Parent/Teacher Expaining Parent/Teacher ConsultationConsultation

““I will be talking to your mom I will be talking to your mom (dad,parents) about how they can better (dad,parents) about how they can better understand you and help things to go understand you and help things to go better at home.”better at home.”

““I will be talking to your teacher about I will be talking to your teacher about how things are going for you at school how things are going for you at school and ways she (he) may be able to help.and ways she (he) may be able to help.

Explaining ConfidentialityExplaining Confidentiality ““I will not tell your parents what I will not tell your parents what

you say or do in the play room.” you say or do in the play room.” ““Sometimes I will talk to your Sometimes I will talk to your

parents about my guesses about parents about my guesses about why you do things or about new why you do things or about new ways for them to talk or act with ways for them to talk or act with you.” you.”

Explaining ConfidentialityExplaining Confidentiality If I think someone is hurting you or that If I think someone is hurting you or that

you might hurt yourself or someone you might hurt yourself or someone else, I will need to let your parents know else, I will need to let your parents know about that because I want to make sure about that because I want to make sure that you are safe”. that you are safe”.

““I will always let you know if I am going I will always let you know if I am going to do this.”to do this.”

Counseling ToolsCounseling Tools

Tracking behaviorTracking behaviorRestating contentRestating contentReflecting feelingsReflecting feelings

Handling QuestionsHandling Questions Practical questions--bathroom, Practical questions--bathroom,

time, where is mothertime, where is mother Personal questions--married, Personal questions--married,

children, agechildren, age• For both types interpret the purpose For both types interpret the purpose

of the question and give a brief of the question and give a brief factual answerfactual answer

Handling QuestionsHandling Questions Relationship questions--like, adopt, Relationship questions--like, adopt,

better, homebetter, home• Reflect feelings that motivate question and Reflect feelings that motivate question and

make a guess about the purposemake a guess about the purpose• In response to the “Do you like me” In response to the “Do you like me”

questionquestion– You sound unsure about me liking you and I You sound unsure about me liking you and I

am wondering if you might be unsure whether am wondering if you might be unsure whether or not others care for you also?or not others care for you also?

Handling QuestionsHandling Questions Ongoing process question(p.66)Ongoing process question(p.66)• Avoid direct answers to avoid Avoid direct answers to avoid

dependencydependency–Sounds like it’s hard to decide what Sounds like it’s hard to decide what

to do with that. In here you can to do with that. In here you can choose to do whatever you want choose to do whatever you want with it.with it.

Asking the child questionsAsking the child questions

Limit number of questions per Limit number of questions per sessionsession

Allow questions to flow from the Allow questions to flow from the conversation or from the play conversation or from the play vs. asking a list of prepared vs. asking a list of prepared questionsquestions

Types of questionsTypes of questions

OpenOpenWhat and how What and how vs. whyvs. why

Adlerian questioning strategiesAdlerian questioning strategies

Questions relating to the presenting Questions relating to the presenting problem--general and specific--problem--general and specific--usually for ages 8 & up usually for ages 8 & up

Questions related to the child’s Questions related to the child’s lifestylelifestyle

Four categories of Lifestyle Four categories of Lifestyle questions (appendix D)questions (appendix D)

FamilyFamilySchoolSchoolSocial/friendsSocial/friendsGeneralGeneral

Playing with the childPlaying with the child–Guesses about purpose of Guesses about purpose of child asking therapist to play child asking therapist to play

–During play maintain use of During play maintain use of theraputic responses i.e. theraputic responses i.e. tracking, reflection of feelings, tracking, reflection of feelings, restatement of content and restatement of content and encouragementencouragement

Playing with the childPlaying with the child

–Model appropriate behaviorsModel appropriate behaviors

–Reframe negative situations Reframe negative situations

–Teach skillsTeach skills

–Examine goals of misbehaviorExamine goals of misbehavior

–Allow child to lead playAllow child to lead play

Role PlayRole Play

Whisper techniqueWhisper technique• Three voicesThree voices

Cleaning the Room TogetherCleaning the Room Together

Structuring--10 minutes then cleaning Structuring--10 minutes then cleaning the last 5minutesthe last 5minutes

““It’s time for us to clean up the room It’s time for us to clean up the room togethertogether• What do you want me to do/put away first--What do you want me to do/put away first--• what are you going to do/put away first?what are you going to do/put away first?

Cleaning the Room TogetherCleaning the Room Together

Make a game of cleaning- who will pick Make a game of cleaning- who will pick up their things and put them away first?up their things and put them away first?

Can you beat last week’s time record?Can you beat last week’s time record?

Cleaning the Room TogetherCleaning the Room Together

When the child refuses to clean the roomWhen the child refuses to clean the room• Offer choices--you can choose to clean up Offer choices--you can choose to clean up

the room together or not to play with these the room together or not to play with these toys next timetoys next time

• You can choose to help clean up or be in You can choose to help clean up or be in another room next time without the toysanother room next time without the toys

• The counselor may choose to limit the The counselor may choose to limit the amount of stimulation/toys for some easily amount of stimulation/toys for some easily distracted childrendistracted children