chapter iii b

8/6/2019 Chapter III B

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VISUAL ASPECT OF WITNESSINGIN THE DIFFERENTIATING PROCESS

Clients over and over use the term MwatchM when they talkabout how they perceive certain emotions or physical pain.They watch it. Watching dlminl~hes it by objectifying thefeeling and makIng it not-self. I suggest they are literall.ydescribing their experience and not metaphorically relating asense of isolation and depersonalization. They are describinghow !b~I_~2isolation and depersonalization. Portions of thesubjective core of self are objectified out of vItal existenceas the self becomes more and more a witness self. They watchtheir experience through an imaginary, 5U:, possibly a real in-ternal visual sense which competes with the physical percep-tion of that pain or feeling and thus decreases the impact ofthat pain or feeling on the self.

The internal visual sense appears real to an experiencedmeditator. In fact, Hindu and Buddhists texts' for th~usandsof years have talked about this internal visual sense andhypothesIzed about an inner Meye- to explain it. For the ad-vanced meditator the internal-external dichotomy can be veryInsubstantial. The altered states of consciousness generatedthrough Shikantaza or Mahamudra meditations can temporarilydestroy any of these realm divisions resulting in ano-boundary state. These no-boundary states do not ~ee~~ttobe fantasles~ but rather, spacesM in which percept.ion can oc-cur along with the objects of perception. Within those spaceswe can perceive experiences not normally thought of as beingperceivable in a visual way, such as pain in my leg or anemotIon. Or we can visually perceive elements of the externalw~rld as bei~g __part of ourselves (first level Satori).Certain meditations may activate the visual receptive and in-terpretive part of the brain generating a visual sense, and anexperience of space, that become co-eKtensive with tactile andauditory realities, where they can become mixed and fused.

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Experientially, Ii this visual field Is part of aninfant's perceptual reality, it would have a real, psychologi-cal and develop"ental effect. Again, this is Winnicott's playspace or transitional reality with a twist. For him it was abufferingand this

reality where the realm and fantasy interpenetratereality continues throughbut life to play a 8ig-

nificant role. For the meditator it is a real senSe of space,affecting his self sense by creating an Inner ground withinwhich subjective phenomena can become visual objects.Meditation may be saId to Influence, extend and change thestructure and quality of transitional realities and thus theprocesses of self-differentiation by makIng these areas lIloreexplicitly conscious and adding a visual~ quality towitnessing_

The self can take itself, including the division intosubjective self and not-self, as object. I can examine thesubject 1ve exper iences I call se1f and those. I call other ..e.ven wh ile those subject ive processes and exper fences .areoccuring. The internal visual perception of both these statesas object arises from the splitting off of a portion of self-as witness. (This is the phrase used in analytic theory toexplain the observing self). This witness aspect Is also partof the the subjective sense of self. even though its functionis to objectify. As a part of the subjective self. the wit-ness is closely related to that personal sense of self, .butit gives the self a sense of an imaginary space in additionto the -realness of direct experience of emotion or painthrough the body. Wor~z (prIvate co~.unlcation) has suggestedthat meditative watching of emotional and physical pain leadsto a sensory competItion between the physical and visual modesthat diminishes that pain. I.e.!#.if we bot.h watch and feelthe saae event, the perception through both channels isdiminished in impact. This may also be the way we build anInner map of experience, dividIng It into internal-external,and self-not-self through visual discriminations. The subjec-

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tive and vulnerable self objectiies itself through thisvIsual sense, not only as a defense, but as part of a develop-mental sequence. Perhaps Gendlin~s felt sense is a mixtuie ofperce ivi n9 und 1f ferent la ted body exper ience ~ incl ud in9 pr im 1-tive feelings partially through a visual and partly through abody mode. Visualizing It gIves a sense of objectification,safety and being pushed down, while feeling it with the bodygives it realIty and vitalIty leadIng to incorporation throughmerger into the self.

I SEEING IThe experIence of objectifying the self~ itself has the

quality of being witnessed. I watches I watching the I. Thesubjective personal self (the 1) as well as the experience2! that self (content) can be perceived as an object by thewitness consciousness. This perceptIon can becolle increas-ingly lrivested with the quality of an internal visual sensewith progressive experience in JIledltatlon.2

The entire subjective self, Itself~ can be perceived inthis visual fashionp and be seen as a consciousness limitedto portions of the body. Internal experience can be dividedinto three aspectsp much like a H egelian dial~ctical synthesis

_ . . . ._ .. . o I I I W ! _ . . . _ _ . . . . _ _ . . . . . . .

2. You miqht want to try this experiment for yourself orwith clients. Write a short catalog of emotIons and sensa-tions and imagine them'occuring to you~ one by one. Notehow they seem to occur to you. Do you feel- them in yourimagination or do you see- thelflas an imaginary occurancehappening to you~ either as you witness your body~ or as youare subject within that body. Then, next time you feel apaIn In your body or feel SOMe fairly strong emotion, 5tOp~close your eyes and witness that experience. Then try itwith YOQr eyes open. D oes the experience of wItnessing yourown self and its experience have a visual quality'? Does ithave it all the tiMe or only with the eyes closed? Do youhave an illaginary visual space (transitional reality) coex-tensive with your flreal- vIsual reality and with your Inter.,;,nal body space?

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wIth different degrees of objectification determining ~embodi-_ent in the flesh. First is the subjective experientialself'~colte ('''I~ness'' attached 2tll!su::lll::l;ocertaln body ex'perlenc~# includIng Ideosyncratlcally determined tactIle andemotional feelings); second Is the subjective not-core self(the remainder of the body and emotional experience which arenot ex per ie nce d as self-core) which has less body immediacy orexperiential impact and which includes the representationalworlds of self and object; and third, this entire dichotomy ofcore-self and subjective, non-core self which itself is wit-nessed as object o~ merged with as subject.

I-ness from this view Is the basic Impl1cit structure ofpersonality that directs consciousness in its merger and dif-ferentlating aspects, brIngIng experiences and structures Intothe core self through identificatory -gluing, after andsimultaneously with wItnessing censc t.ouene s s e e dlfferentia""tiona and projections of e~perience and other implicit struc-tures fro. the self.

SPLITTING AND R EFLEXIVITY

As psychologists become more sophisticated, the com-plexity of the laws that arrange content within realms(cognitIve psychology, classical psychoanalysis, object rela-tions theory, semantics and seminotics) dramaticallyincreases. But fundamental questions of precIsely how theserealms are formed out of the infant's undifferentiated matrixof experIence is not known. Nor is it known how these realmsare kept separate by the invisible boundaries, or what com-poses the boundaries themselves. Most boundary phenomena aretotally unknown and virtually undiscovered except for thesmall class of functions long investigated by psychoanalysis:the ego defenses.

This modeltional defenses.

gives us a new perspective on these tradl"They can be conceived of as boundary main-

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taining mechanisMS that divide the personal self into I andsubjective not-self, separating both from the dynamic uncon-sciousness, from never conscious experience (the never dif-ferentiated area of unfo~med emotions and body awareness) andfrom the outside world. Aside from their normal defensivefunctions, which may turn out to be aberrations of theIrboundary functions, they are also part of a larger set ofmechanisms which differentiate and maintain the w~rld as weknow 1t.

The most fruitful area of investigation for the newscience of phenoMenological psychoanalysis are the boundarycreating and ma1ntaining mechanisms such as splitting and itsderivatives, projection and its derivlties, reflexive con-sciousness and the time-binding mechan1sms of the self. Thefirst two mechanisms contribute to the fragmentatIon the ex-perIential continuum (see appendix for differing 3ssumptiongabout consciousness as dual Mind or one mind with dual dIf-ferentiating aspects) into various realms such as external andinternal, self and object representational real1tles~ andthrough repression, into consciousness and unconsciousness.PrOjectIon can be into the external world. either of aspects~qualities and emotions belonging to the self, or of the selfrepresentation into our inner world mappings of externalreality (object representations). PrOjective identifIcationcan be between the self (or self-representation) and the realobject therapis1;,or between the self (or representation) andthe reality filter of the self's therapist representation.

Projective identification Is usually considered to happenbetween the self representation and the object representationof the real world therapist (Grotstein, 198J, Ogden, 1982).The therapist as extE~rnalobject is ell'lotonallyand .perhapscognitively indistinguishable from the client'S therapistrepresentation. The client projects into her object repre-sentation (of the therapist) SOllequality of her self repre-sentation (self as idea and image) and acts as if the real

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the~apistl seen through the representation filter, now hasthat quality. Typical examples are unrecognized anger orsexuality that are attributed to the therapist._

If ~he client is able to relate to an external person,the therapist is both a representational stand-in for ~other(the origins of transference) and a real other. In this caseprOjective identifIcation is not restricted to processes in-.volving representations only~ but can be between the realworld objects and representational objects or between any tworealms. In analytic theory~ prOjection is often done of afeeling, image# or self-judgment within oneself that Is notacceptable or safe within the self. The feeling is attrIbutedto our Idea of the theraplst~ who can More safely have thatattribute or feeling_ It may be unsafe for me to be sexual orloving, but my therapist Is~ and I can think of him wheneverthose feelings arise In me, liking 0:;;' disliking the deniedfeelings projected into him. But his image Is linked to thereal external world therapist. If I project into my idea ofhim, I also project' into my tactile and visual perception ofhim which may affect the way I physically perceive h i m (seethe example of Mrs. M. in the next chapter). Sometimes I cansee- that my prOjections are unreal. H is behavior anddemeanor do not support lI\y prOjections of him as angry. If Ican relate to him in this real way by reality checking myprOjections. I can diminish the projective-identiflcatoryl lrl ka ge between my self image and the ~xternal person. rwIthdraW the prOjections into myself eventually allowing for aIler\~er incorporation of that feeling into my core self. A-real- relationship with another demands an already intact,differentiated and separate sense of self.

Besides thedi v ide rea11 tyIdentlftcatory

splitting mechanisms and derlvlties, whIchinto realms, there must be other merger andlinking mechanisms that hold realms, ex-

periencesperiential

within realms and Gestalten together.realities are held apart yet held

The many ex-together and

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coordinated. Self is separated from not-self; internal isseparated from external; and subjective Is separated froM objective partially through a combined process of the splittingof consciousness into an external world direction and into aself-reflexive direction. Reflexive consciousness acts to-glue- components of self into a Gestalt and contain themwithin boundaries. The latter self-reflaxive consciousnesshas body, fantasy, thinking, memory, witness and othercomponents as objects with an -Inward- direction, while out-ward directed consciousness is spread through the variol,lSper-ceptual channels of vision, hearin~, taste, touch and SMelland has the external world as object.

The directional split of consciousness that creates Innerand outer, 'self and not-self may exist between other realmsalso separating outer from subjective not-self for example, orunconscious fantasy from representational self. Pathologicalsplitting observed In cases of extreMe self-fragMentationtradltio~ally has been attributed to unneutral1zed rage. asKernberg and Klein would suggest. Possibly though, thissplitting arises froll fragmentation problems in the veryfabric of experiential reality itselL such as a failure toestablish appropriate directionallties of consciousness, fixedbut permeable boundaries, sufficient binding merger -glue- tohold the self together, or appropriate separation from objectswithin consciousness. There may be something wrong in thefunctioning of the dialectical processes of appropriatesplitting or prOjection a~ a precursor of reflexive bindIng ofphenomena. Stabilized dIfferentiatIon requIres optimalfunctioning of both merger and dIfferentiation aspects of thepersonality. Rather than rage resulting In unneutrallzablesplits, th~ unresolved splits themselves may be the origin ofthe pathology_ Manifest rage Is not a necessary accompanimentof severe borderline or schizophrenic splItting. but frag-.entation of the self 1St leading to speculations that therage is a symptom of the splitting rather than an effect.

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IMPLICATIONS FOR THERAPY:- - - - - - - ~ - - - - ~ ~ - - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - -

If bare awareness (witfless consciousness) and Sal'l'ladhiconsciousness ontologIcally precede the personal self, and ifthe personal self is partially an evolutionary result of theinterplay between them, then we have the nucleus of a theorywith enormous implications for therapy. In practical applica-tion it would suggest that there are stages involved intherapy that maybe quite different from the stage models ofcurrent psychoanalytic literature which emphasize one aspector another of re-developing object relations or cognitivestructures. The pioneering work of Gedo and Goldberg (1973)on the hierarchical model, and Horners work in ego psychologyboth suggest changes In the way therapy Is done as the egodevelops during therapy. They both suggest d1fferent types orstyles of therapy for patients with different levels ofdevelopmental disorders. In Kohuts system, a narcissisticpati~nt would initially have his therapy directed towardsresolving needs for mirroring responses; later, as his selfattained signIficant compensatory structure his needs toidealize and be idealized for worldly attainments would beaddressed. Much later, Oedipal competitive conflicts mayarise 'as the personality disorder is resolved to be replacedby neurotIc issues.

In the proposed dIalectical-phenomenological model,therapeutic emphasis would Change from analysis of self andobject representations, their splits and projectiv~ defensesto a ~12'!. examination of self-experience (I-ness and thecore) itself. This would help the therapist understand thequality of the linkages and boundarIes that comprise thepatlent's self, and the degree and kinds of fragmentation thatplag~e it. Analytic emphasIs would be on components of the-deep or implicit structures of the self--processes, func-tions and Gestalten which underly self-experience. This kindof introspection also builds new reflexive linkages, tying

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various ego states together. The therapeutic approaCh andchanges In that approach that would accompany changes In thedeveloping self in this ~odel may be very different from thestage specific techniques of psychoanalysis based on ego orself psychology.

Psychoanalytic theory is split on the efficacy ofe~presslve or uncovering- therapies over supportivetherapies (educational, cognitive) for borderline andschl~ophrenic patfents. Some theorIsts insist the egos ofthese patients are too weak to tolerate the undoing of In-adequate repressJve defenses resulting from expressivetherapy, leadIng to profound regressions or Impulsive actingout of self-destructive tendencies. The dlalectlcal-phenomenological model would emphasize the teaching ofmicroanalysis, an uncovering technique, for these clIents be-cause it gives them a method of consciously coping with feel-ings ~tber than the inadequate defenses they presently have~Microanalysis is, at once, both an excellent defense (orcognitive coping technique) and an excellent uncovering tech-nique that would acquaint the patient in small, safe ways withportions of an emotional situation that otherwise would beoverwhelming.Jack Engler (1982> ~olds that Vipassana~llke techniquesare expressive and should be avoided with borderline orpsychotic patients because they undo repressive defenses. Myfindings are surprisingly dIfferent. His experience is basedon a population of people who are students and practitIonersat a Buddhist Center. I agree with Engler that the popula-tions found there often have a higher proportion of borderlinepersonalities. But rather than being contraindicated, I havefound these analytic techniques well suited to establishedsplittIng defenses, especially in the form used by Dr. Wortz.In fact these techniques initially reinforce these defenses,yielding added conscious control over splitting. This leadsto decreased spontaneous fragmentation of the self by increas-

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ing its ability to regulate the impact of dangerous affects.WItnessing exposes the paInful affect, and the client Is im~mediately encouraged to examine how she feels or generatesthat emotion, allowIng her to modulate its experience.Conscious control overspl1tting and witnessing dimlnish~s theneed to split on unconscious levels. Splitting as a defensebecomes a more conscious mastery allowing increased safe ex-posure to the split-off emotion or idea. Experience that wasformerly automatically shunted past consciousness by an uncon-scious defense Is now regulated by it.

With these (borderline and narcissistic; clients we canincrease emphasis on using the observing ego to assist andprepare for limited partial regressions within a frameworkrecognizing that development Is a non-lInear, three-stepprocess of regressIon, progressIon, creatIon and stabilizationof boundaries followed by cyclic repetition of this process.Regression would reveal formerly hidden affects and symptoms ..and progression results from objectification and analytic dif-ferentiation of these new emotions, experiences and processes,resulting in new self-structure.

Regressions are normal consequences of the dynamictherapy process or of hospitalization. The psychoanalyst wIllusually struggle to limit them in cases of personality disor-ders or psychoses. In these cases regressions are not con-sidered therapeutIc, but debilitating. Regressions in our newmodel.. while not necessarily encouraged# certainly would notbe avoided. Instead they would be utilized by the therapistto foster the development of introspective internalizations(incorporating the therapist"s perceived str-uctur-es),reflexive consciousness and the exposure of self-defects.Regression exposes hidden developmental arrests. covered bypoor compensatory structures# allowing the problems to becomeobjects of consciousness. MicroanalysIs is then used tomanage the emotions and symptomology.

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Microanalysis itself 15 fairly neutral with respect toregression because It treats objectrelated feelings, such asoverwhelming guilt, envy or rage as objects. The self Is notimmersed In these feelings so regression is slowed.Regressions would still result from the libidinal relatIonshipwith the therapist. The resulting transerences automaticallygenerate regressions in a large percentage of therapeuticpatients. Even this regression can be analyzed and slowedusing objectification, verbalization and microanalysis.

Gradual Robjectlve- or witnessed exposure to thepreviously repressed or split off feelings leads to a-de-sensltlzation- to that feeling, and ultimately to a momen-tary tnccr-pcr-atcn of that feeling Into the core self. Afterthat experience, splittIng, denial, projection and otherdefenses are less needed as the emotion or repressed ex-perience begins to be structurally bounded by the dialecticalprocesses of self-other delineation. The self no longerdeeply fears that feeling. E!tmttgtt_!1!b_s_i2t!ttlX_ttits;:t~t!2l!2!!.L_.!!1221t_2t__~r;~J!.!!!g!!_t!.QtI:ltnst..r;t=!nl!lA!!~ __!b!t!li=~!I!12~!tn! __ ~!gY~nst_ft~~!n_eI_!2tlI_~t~gm2' leadIng tochanges in self structure and an appropriate structuring ofthat feeling within and between core-self, representationalself and representational object.

The phenomenological tberapy model creates: (1) a safeuncovering technique that (2) teaches the basics of introspec-tion which (3) can be used to :reinforce inadequate defenses ina way that (4) can later aid an object-related andwhole-feeling traditional therapy through gradual exposure toobject directed feelings.

On the therapist-observer level, therapeutic stages.especially the initial stages, vary from psychoanalysis to themore experiential therapies such Gestalt therapy or those

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proposed In this text. Transference and partial regressionsare encouraged in psychoanalytic work (for neurotic structuresas opposed to borderline personalities), even If not always Ona conscious level. But Gestalt, and more 50,cognitive-behavioral therapy may not support the manifestationof these processes. This would affect the degree and type ofbonding with the therapist and indeed whether there were anystages in the therapy at all. Stages in psychodynamic therapyare stages of a re-lnltiated developmental sequence, sometimes11~~ the original infantile sequence, and are sometimes stagesof developm.ent of compensatory structure--structures thatsurround- and bolster the damaged self. Compensatory selfdevelopment may also mimic the original developmental se-quences, but we need to be aware that therapy is nota simplerecapitulation of infantile development. If transferences andregreSSions do not occur',the arrested parts (if the self arenot directly exposed in the analyt16 process nor am.nable tochanges normally resulting from the deep personal relation-ship with the therapist. Symptoms are dealt with instead ofstructural diffIcultIes and no restructuring takes place.

In dynamic psychotherapy the therapist must first undopathological defensive patterns. The first stage (in thetherapy of neurotic level disorders) is a gaining of trust ofthe therapist by' the client, establishing a therapeutic andlibidinal bond which m.ayresult in a therapeutic regressioneither to the neuratic core or to underlying characterolo~lcaldisorders. This regression is usually a relaxation ofhabitual defenses against the expression of hidden pains andpathologies of the self. The client sometimes regards thesymptom.s of these deeper problems as so odious that theirmanifestation l~ads to profound shame~ guilt or fear. Fear of1b!..!. feelings normally keeps them out of the client~s con-sciousness and often out of direct manifestation in her be-havior; but they are there, waiting to be activated in ap-propriately deep relationships. These deep problems .QnlX_~2!~2y.L!n_i!_~19:Jll!.!.g.!1!_r.~1i!.!!2.nh.!.2_2.t_e2Qglng_s!1g_1nllm!S?I

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This is why so many people with self disorders avoid realIntimacy and deeply bonded relationships. All the old paIn,conflicts fears and sadness return in goodM relationshipsonce again, as If she were two, three or ten years old, feel-ing helpless, controlled, overwhelmed or just numb. It isalso why a great m.any people choose Inappropriate partners sothat the relationship feels safe. They -know they couldnever perm.anently be In a relation to such an inappropriateperson. Yn2g~lQg!I they presume if it Is a sale relation-ship, it won't become deep ~no~gh to bring out the oldproblems. .QSH1~12,!:U!.a'!1..11 though, they lRay feel achemistry for the person they are choosing, and lovevery deeply. Chemlstry 15 the eonsclous experience of

greatthemun-

conscIous needs for a safe and sexualized relationship. Thismechanism Is an overt form of what FaIrbaIrn calls theschizoid comp~omise--a relationship that isn't really ar~latlopshlp. Wlnnlcott said, for some people, the only thingworse th,an a bad relationship (or no relationship>, is a goodrelationship, b~cause the old terrible paIns and problemsarise aga1n.

Once trust is established in therapy, the client beginsto submerge her self-sense into those areas of pain, fear andshame that are normally hidden to self and others except in adeep relationship. She defends against bad-object-relationships until an appropriately good therapist isavailable. Once she begins bonding, the d~ep transferencesand other self-disturbances begin to re-manifest bringingback the dreaded badparent experiences. They return despiteher careful choice of a good therapist-object. These same-bad- transference experiences have always prevented her fromgetting into -good- relationships before.

The good relationship with her therapist actiVates theold transferences and bad-object memories and emotions. Butalong with the manifestation and a dropping of the defensesagainst these hurt child feelings and dramas comes a submerg-

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lng of her present self into the past infantile and childish~ attitudes (object relations), emotIons and even cognitive and

mO~'d.l development. Regression to these places removes hersens~ of self from the adult defensive constellations that hadbeen identified with self, to the childish core egostates--whlch she now becomes. Her locus of consciousnessand what she identifies as self, has moved across ego stateboundaries. It Is not that she now b~ these feelings and oldburled attItudes, but emotIonally, morally and cognitlvely sheb sZ ! _ _ e~.2.! ! l~ a child again. Her self has identified with theburied structures which are now blatantly manIfest in behaviorand her relationships. The OedIpal beast may come out alongwith impulsIveness, and the -negative- emotions so littletolerated in polite or even non-polite society such as anger,fear~ jealousy, envy, shame, hate and most importantly--selfloathing.

The terrified chlld-be'ast is out in the presence of hertherapist mother/father. At this point a three'_part dialecti-cal process may begin. As she manIfests her more and moreoutrageous behav t or-s and. feels those undefended against, rawfeelings anew, she also then swings back a few minutes, hours,or weeks into the psychological position she left before shebegan the regression. She becomes an adult again. But nowshe Is an adult with the memory of the regression and iden-tifications sbe has just been through. The process of leavingthe subjectlfication of the regression is usually triggered byfear of the raw emotions felt there. The sudden objectifica-tion is initially a defense against these feelings, but Italso part of the structure bu ilding process. In some verycomplicated ways, she literally carrles a portion of thechild-self back into the resurrected adult. Regression tq thechild allows a re-initiating of the long-gone developmentalsequence that starts with objectification of portions of thatnow conscious childish self .

. . . . . . . . . . . .~.

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During the process of therapy, she will cross back andforth between the regressed, heIp lees, angry or fearfulchlldand the increasingly rational, articulated and dlfferentiatedadult. These cycles have major, long-term features and simul-taneous short-term, session-limited regressions superimposed.They also tend to worsen in intensity as the therapyprogresses. She can tolerate deeper experiences of thefended-off emotions and feel safer expressing them. All thewhile she is recapitulating a developmental structuring se-quence that was aborted years ago. The first time through,trauma, deflciencIes of parenting, or her own inability toobjectify prevented the appropriate articulation of her im-plicit self structure, leaving her overt self itructure weakand damaged. Therapy repeats that process by returning hersense of self to that evolutionary conflicted or emotionallytraumatic level.

SecondlYJt she is performing this miracle of regressionand resurrection in front of her therapist mother'(or father)who is providing an explicit therapeutic framework of inter-pretation and also the psychological functions of holding,acceptance, love and understanding~ This holding, nurturingtherapeutic presence allows for a deeper and more controlledregression, and also for a m.orecareful articulation of theem.~rged child through Interpretive efforts. There Is both aninward evolutionary striving towards health and dIfferentia-tion as Carl Rogers and Robert Kegan emphasize, and also anoutward pecking at the clientfs defensive shell by the motherhen therapist.

The locus of consciousness, where the client is as a per-son, moves back and forth between the submerged child nowbrought to light and the ever growing adult self.Consciousness moves from a newly reclaimed old self to a newlydifferentiated adult self; it moves back and forth, back andforth across the boundaries of objectIfication which separatethe knower from.the known. The old hurt self is brought into

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.~ ..- - 'the present self and becomes merged in the adult--somuch 50that sometimes she is just a little girl. Yet justtherapeutIc mom.ents later she leaves that regressive iden-tIfIcation and sees objectively where she just was. Therebythe implicit structure of the old self, the structure thatm.ostly was her just moments before, becomes reflected on froma position of relative therapeutic security standing by her

self,being

therapist's side3.This repeated process of being conscIously in the oldperhaps for the first time in thirty years, and thenin the adult self again within the analytic situation,

leads to an important objectIfication of the implicit, oldself structure. The child-self becomes structured and en-capsulated rather than just being the person. The newself now has the old child self's implicit structure asplicit structure and her old chIld behaviors, fe~llngsattItudes are seen" or witnessed as'something she has.

adultex-andShe

has these states and contents as places that she can go to.They no longer are her. They are a content of her consclous-ness# not the structure through which she orders reality.

She also has part of the old child self (perhaps a lonelysadness) as new implicit structure. She can now see a sadnessIn her life or the world that she hadn~t felt since a smallchild. There Is a kind of revolutionary vitality that comesfrom retaining a portion of the exposed old self, theemotionality and na1vete, within the implicit structure of thenew self. The new adult self has its own Implicit structure,portions of which are the newly incorporated contents of theimplicit structure of the old self that it wants to keep as- - - - ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ - - - - - ~ - ~ ~ - - - - - - ~ - - ~ - -3. Grotsteln (1980) talks about a toddlers need for a"background object1- one that literally stands behind theoutward directed child and whom the child ignores. Parentsmay need to stand in a number of dIfferent symbolic posi-tions in the child's developmental sequence.

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"core.- Theexcept forbroadening

new self stIll has much the same w I - feelings,a tiltIng away from pathological aspects and a

to include certain childish elements she deemsvaluable. As Lowen would also poInt out, for many people invarious diagnostic categories, there is a return to owning thebody. Emotionality Is originally denIed by dIssociating frombody experience. Accepting feelings means accepting the body.Feelings the body adds a dimension of vltallty~ direction andpurpose as the self reowns Its ancient orIgIns.

Kay was a very attractive 31 year old female who had leftan eight year live-1n relationship with her boyfriend sIxmonths before, because he dIdn't want to get married. Shefelt he lacked t~e ability to be intimate and affectionate--qualities. she craved. She had recently entered anewrelatlonshlp that felt more satisfying, and was receiving theintimacy, affection and communication she had wanted.However" a new problem was arising: emotionally she was becom-ing, In her words, like a two year old, with periods of feel-ing great helplessness" hopelessness, inadequacy and in-capability to deal with the world. She only wanted to stay athome with her boyfriend. His needs to work and be In schooloutside their immediate relationship were viewed as betrayalof her basic right towards having her father/daddy present.

SImultaneousl}' with entering this new relationship, hertherapist began a year long process of moving to another cityseveral hundred miles away" leaving her feeling abandoned,alone, terrified" angry" and increaSingly dependent on herboyfr 1end. Wi th them bo th , there was .a mutuall ty and con-sciriusness of regressive behaviors and feelings occurlng ineach. When they were feeling especially close both would babytalk to each other and in other ways emulating childlike be-haviors typical in the early stages of bonded relationships.

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Kay would regress to feeling playful and all the positiveaspects of being a cared for of a happy two year old. LaterIn the relationship, when disappointed by her boyfrIend's not-being there for her when she really needed him, she'd feeldeeply hurt~ depressed and then abandonedl' alone and helpless.A period would follow where she felt an increasingly deepdepression followed again by a defensive period of blame,an-gel" and hatred as her boyfriend became only bad"--a disap-pointing, hurting and attacking mother that was making herfeel bad. A few months before this narcissitlc issue ap-peared, her therapist worked with a more troublesome underly-ing the~e of fear of relatIonships, fear of abandonment, f~arof beIng overwhelmed by her own feelings and by external worlddemands. Her self-sense felt fragmented and dissociated fromher feelings increasing her sense of fragility, alienation andinabIlity to cope with the sIze- of her feelings when theydid come. The weakness was so pervasive she feared for hercontinued existence as a person. The external world was toolarge and frightening_ She also felt hopeless and depressedof ever getting what she wanted from relationships becausethey never provided enough closeness and she was always aban-doned or she always withdrew and couldn't get what she wanted.This internal withdrawal prevented -letting in- the intimacythat was offered, the lack of which she imagined was the causeof her empty feelIngs. The other always left for something ofsomeone else: work, clients, exercise, shopping; or else sheb&came frightened and went away inside.

After a year and a half of working through thesephenomena with her gradually disappearing therapist--for whomshe felt the same feelings, but more as a dIsappointing fatherthan a mother--the issues changed from being prim.arily depres-sive and schizoid to befng more adam.antly narcissi tIc. Thedevelopmental stage In therapy had shifted from the depressiveto the narcissitic structural level, a developmental progres-sion from the vIewpoint of Horner's, ego psychology. Far more

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importantly the process of working through the cycle W3scon-scloQsly grasped: 1. good feeling period of being a happythree year old, 2. dls.appctn taen e by therapist or boyfriend,3. depression, abandonment and helpless inadequacy and in-abilIty to function In the world, 4. anger, blame, criticismand rage, 5. fear of damaging boyfriend/mother ortherapist/father with her anger-rage, 6. coming obt of theregressed cycl~ to -a reflective, insightful, rational adultthat had much of the feeling state of the good feeling part ofstage 1.

She was now a new adult with a deeper Insight into thetherapy process. She had reflected on her mood and attitudecycl ing and had watched her rage ..blame and the" feel ings ofsha.e and depression she felt at the damage she had caused.This new adult now distanced those parts in herself through-objectIfication and reflection. The adult who emerged wasstill a child in many ways~ but a more structured child, withincreased insigbt and capabllity. The adult who emerged withthe chIld was also More competent and creative, increasinglycapable of beginning her own career independent of herboyfriend's and in a different dIrectIon than she had gone tothat polnt. She also felt# as she put it, much more groundedin what was really her. Discarded defensive patterns hadrevealed hidden aspects of herself, now reclaimed. Yet evenafter three years or therapy the old states periodicallyreturned to overwhelm the new ~dult in brief, but extremelyintense encapsulated form, until the reflective holding wasstabIlIzed.

Besides this overall, macro cycling there was an oscil-lation between ego states or sub-personalities, each withits own subjectlvitles and object relations. Her "locus ofconsciousness relocated between the various selves of her dlf-ferent regressed ego states, leading eventually to an emer-

of a new subjectivity with the ego states as object.center of her selfness transitloned between various ego

genceThe

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__ , ....

states, each with Its own self feelings and implicit struc-tures of self, and each with its dlffering stage of moral andcognitive development. This movement between variousselfnesses and ~bject relations and Moral/cognitive function-ing levels was accompanied by her increasing reflectiveability. These two processes, the freedo~ to move betweenformerly defended against ego states combined with reflective-ness arising from transltlonlng into a final adult state,began a process of tying together the various ego and selfstates wlth linkages of reflexivity, memory and InsIghtthrough time. This gluing process was augmented by the addi-tional reflexivity provided by the therapIst, who alsoprovided the safety of a therapeutic frame that allowed forthe whole process. Self-reflexlvity needs reinforcement by atrained external reflexivity. It is a learned skill.

F or examp le, if Kay had five ego states that she transi-tion through~ the final adult state was quite capable ofreflectlng - on the process of transitionlng and also. aware ofher normal inability to reflect while in those sta tes. In ad~dltion, her therapist provided a constant reflectivebackground. Both reflexivltles together~ along with the locusof se 1fhood chang 1n9 from one ego 5ta te to ana the r ~ bu 11tln-ternal associative connections~ and a new meaning framework~permanently objectifying elements of the more primitIve selfstate's implicit structure. At the same time~ other elementsof those same primitive self state5~ impliCit structures werebrought into the new self as implicit structure.

Before therapy, these elements were heavily defendedagainst because of associated pain. IncreaSing tolerance ofpat n In the ..herapy allowed for the emergence of the deeplyburled child self, portions of which now became objectifiedand parts of which were added as new subjective adultstructure.

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PH ENOMENOLOGICAL AUGMENTING TECH NIQUESOnto our basic dialectical and dynamic model, I propose

we add the phenomenological techniques of objectIfication,microanalysis and merger. Regressions can be utilized tobring forth new material while controlled in depth and timingby microanalysis. Microanalysis objectifies componentsject relations, diminishing experience of whole-objectIngs or whole-object relatlons~ GuIlt, for example, 15

of ob~'feel-frag-

mented into its -many systemic components, including image,memories, meaning, and the body exper1ence of guIlt. In thesame way transference manifestations can also be utilized tobring forth different levels of object relations fixations andcontrolled by analyzing fragments of the experience. In bothinstances, inherent ego weaknesses already used as a splittingand projectIon defense, are therapeutically utilized to aIdtherapy. Microanalysis Is a controlled.splltting defense usedas a therape.utic tool. 'Splitting and microanalysis can worsenpre-existing ego fragmentation if it fs only. used as adefense, which Is precisely how many people many people incults use it.

In the meantime,. the partial merger and incorporation of. formerly distasteful, yet developmentally appropriate emo-tions, and objectification of formerly desirable or acceptablefeelings that have caused adjustment problems lead graduallyto a strengthening of the self and lessened need to use split-ting as a defense. Self strengthening no longer depends onself-object availability. It now comes from two sources: at-taining an inherently more stable and complete self structure,and an external world reinforcement of improved functioningalong wIth experiencing ethers as whole people rather thangood or bad Objects.

Splitting is a process where the weak self uses its lackof cohesIveness and tight structure to dissociate portlon~ ofitself or selected emotions or images from the current locus

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of awareness. Very different ego states and contradictoryfeelings and ambivalences can thus co~exlst unreconcl1ed be-cause consciousness can pass easily from one contrary state tothe other wIth no memory or consci~usne5S oithe antagonisticstate. Over a period of time~ the conscious utilization ofsplittIng as a defense further weakens and fragments the self.The conscious use of that same splitting~ as part ofmlcroanalysis# can reverse this trend by utilizing it as astep towards re-ownlng that feeling or ego state.

SplittIng may be spatlal- or time-lIke, separatIng ex-periences normally coqnIze d simultaneously into spatiallyseparated realms and disrupting associations between theseexperiences. Or it may be time-l1ke~ disrupting temporal con-tinuity so that the patient can experIence one spilt-off stateor emotion, and then another, ~inutes, days or weeks later,but wIth no memory or awareness of the oeher feeling or egostate. If a feeling, such as guilt, is present In one egostate, but not another and the ego states are cycled throughin a temporal sequence# we would say that guilt was split offtemporarily. Given time, the self would eventually experienceit. If that guilt were permanently assigned to an ego stateor realm the conscious self never occupied, meaning that guiltnever was made conscious, that split would be called spatial.

Long term damage to the self may be repaired over timeusing selective merger -tacking of formerly separated ex-periences through time. Conflicted time-splIt and separatedego states are isolated in therapy through microanalysis andconsciously brought together by successive mergers In Increas-inglyshort time periods accompanied by interpretive effortsto tIe the experiences together 1n nUHftOry. For example, Ifamorose teen-ager state is immediately followed by afour-year-old state of feelings narclssltlcally abused, ele-ments connectIng the self and objects in both states can bebrought out in therapy leading to reflective linking and sub-sequent merger of these states. Consciously experiencing the

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transitIons between the states as in Gestalt work~ facilitatestha t merger.

Spatial splits require a different technique of first un-covering the splIt-off affect or ego state~ inItiating amerger-objectification dialectic to incorporate that stateinto consciousness and add its implicit structure to the self.R epressive and other spatial- defenses can be circumvented bydoing an -end-around- the body aspect of these defenses. As Imentioned in the last chapter, body armoring has a specificsubjective feel. The person feels muscle tensions, agita-tions, defensive eMotions, and In other ways may somaticallyhide emotions. By gaining a close familiartty wIth the sub~jectiveexperlence of the defenses, the patient may begin todiscriminate new affects and new self experiences wIthin the"noise- of the defensive sensations. These lIlaybecome momen-tarily merged with, decreasing fear of these feelings or selfexperlence$ and -tacking- them to the implicit selfstructures. This process re-initiats object relatIons se-quences and can lead to new self experiences that careful dis-crimination can Isolate and nurture. Once previouslyrepressed or split off affects are brought into some level ofself the defenses begins to disappear. The disappearance maybe aided by allowing the patient to merge with the tension ofthe defense and the anxiety those defenses both create and at-tempt to avoid.

In chapter four, I'll spend a more tIMe investigatingthis process of building structure by building linkages aris-ing from the movement of consciousness between and out ofvarioussubjectivities. In the ~nllghl~nm~n!._!1~!l~g!~r,showhow certain pathologies arise from and are preserved by a con-tinuation of incomplet~ linkages~ especially linkages withinreal and representational time. Without sufficient time-lIkelinkages. self contInuity nev~r results.

~-.~,- .

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chapter iii b

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