chapter one taking a good look at ourselves · p60 .. we experience a sense of flow -...

Knowing and Growing: Insights for Developing Ourselves and Others

Alan Mclean 1

CHAPTER ONE Taking a good look at ourselves

P17 ..we can read each other through the clues about emotions - Ekman, P., &

Rosenberg, E. L. (1998). What the face reveals. New York: Oxford University Press.

P18 .. as the psychologist Mark Leary has shown - Leary, M. R. (1995). Self-

presentation: Impression management and interpersonal behaviour. Boulder,

Westview.

P18 .. Eyewitness reports have been found to be the least reliable evidence in court -

National Research Council. (2014). Identifying the Culprit: Assessing Eyewitness

Identification. Washington, DC: The National Academies Press

P18 .. The psychologist Daniel Kahneman - Kahneman, D. (2011) Thinking Fast and

Slow London, Macmillan

P19 . we judge others predominantly on two qualities - Fiske, S.T., Cuddy, A.J.T.,

and Glick, P. (2007) Universal dimensions of social cognition: warmth and

competence. Trends in Cognitive science Vol. 11, Issue 2, 77–83

P19 .. ‘Bad is Stronger than Good’ - Baumeister, R. F. et al (2001) Bad is Stronger

than Good Review of General Psychology Vol. 5. No. 4. 323-37

P19 .. ‘the halo effect’ - Rosenzweig, P. (2007) The Halo Effect New York Simon and

Schuster

P20 .. the psychologist Nicholas Epley - Epley, N. (2014) Mindwise: How We

Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want London, Penguin

P20 .. Robert Trivers, the eminent evolutionary biologist - Trivers, R. (2011) Deceit

and Self-Deception Fooling Yourself the Better to Fool Others London, Allen Lane


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P21 .. the psychologist Anthony Greenwald - Greenwald, E.G. (1980) The totalitarian

ego; fabrication and revision of personal history. American Psychologist, 35; 603-618

P22 .. The evolutionary psychologists, Hugo Mercier and Dan Sperber - Mercier, H.

and Sperber, D, (2017) The Enigma of Reason Boston, Harvard University Press

P23 .. As the psychologist Jessica Tracy has shown - Tracy, J. L., Cheng, J. T.,

Martens, J. P., & Robins, R. W. (2011) The affective core of narcissism: Inflated by

pride, deflated by shame. in W. K. Campbell, & J. Miller (Eds.) Handbook of

narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. New York: Wiley.

P24 .. which they term ‘communal narcissism’ - Gebauer, J. E., Sedikides, C.,

Verplanken, B., & Maio, G. R. (2012). Communal narcissism. Journal of Personality

and Social Psychology, 103, 854–878

P24 .. The British clinical psychologist Paul Gilbert - Gilbert P. (1992). Depression:

The Evolution of Powerlessness. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates: Hove; Guilford:

New York.


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CHAPTER TWO What makes us who we are

P26 .. The personality theorist Dan P. McAdams has shown - McAdams D. P. (1985)

Power, intimacy, and the life story: Personological inquiries into identity. New York:

Guilford Press

P27 .. as we form a sense of who we are - Vignoles, V. L. (2011). Identity motives. In

S. J. Schwartz, K. Luyckx, & V. L. Vignoles (Eds.), Handbook of Identity Theory and

Research (pp. 403-432). New York: Springer

P27 .. evaluative responses to something happening - Solomon, R.C. (2007) True to

Our Emotions What Our Emotions Are Really telling us. Oxford University Press

P27 .. Maarten Vansteenksite, the Belgian self-determination researcher -

Vansteenksite, M. and Ryan, R.R. (2013) On Psychological Growth and

Vulnerability: Basic Psychological Need Satisfaction and Need Frustration as a

Unifying Principle. Journal of Psychotherapy Integration Vol. 23, No. 3, 263–280

P30 .. Personality psychologists over the last fifty year - McCrae, R.R. and Costa,

P.T. (1997) Personality in adulthood: A Five factor theory perspective. 2nd edition.

New York, Guilford Press


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CHAPTER THREE Feel good preferences

P32 .. Frans de Waal, the celebrated Dutch primatologist - de Waal, F.B.M. (2009)

The age of empathy; nature’s lessons for a kinder society. New York; Harmony

Books

P32 ..The Canadian management expert Jane O’Reilly - O'Reilly, J., et al (2014) Is

Negative Attention Better Than No Attention? The Comparative Effects of Ostracism

and Harassment at Work. Organisation Science Volume 26, Issue 3

P33 .. Richard Ryan and Edward Deci, the pioneers of self-determination theory -

Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of

intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55,

68-78

P34 .. The British philosopher Julian Baggini - Baggini, J. (2015) Freedom Regained

The Possibility of Free Will London, Granta

P35 .. David Bakan’s classic text - Bakan, D. (1966). The duality of Human

Existence: Isolation and Communication in Western Man. Boston, MA: Beacon

Press

P35 .. calls them ‘getting ahead’ and ‘getting along’ - Hogan, R. (1983). A socio

analytic theory of personality. In M. M. Page (Ed.), Nebraska symposium on

motivation 1982. Personality: Current theory and Research (pp. 55–89). Lincoln, NE:

University of Nebraska Press

P37 .. Aristotle’s notion of the golden mean- Aristotle (1925). The Nicomachean

ethics (D. Ross, Trans.). New York: Oxford University Press.

P37 .. the positive psychologists Barry Schwartz and Kenneth Sharp - Schwartz, B.,

& Sharpe, K. (2006). Practical wisdom: Aristotle meets positive psychology. Journal

of Happiness Studies, 7,377–395.


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P37 .. June Price Tangney and her colleagues view self-control - Tangney, J.P.,

Baumeister, R.F., & Boone, A.L. (2004). High self-control predicts good adjustment,

less pathology, better grades, and interpersonal success. Journal of Personality, 72,

271–322.

P41.. Philip Rodkin and colleagues have found - Rodkins, P.C., Ryan, A.M.,

Jamison, R. and Wilson, T. (2013) Social goals, social behaviour, and social status

in middle childhood. Developmental Psychology, 49, 1139-1150

P41.. David McClelland, the distinguished motivation theorist - McClelland, D.C.

(1985) Human Motivation. Glenview, IL: Scott, Foresman

P41 .. Dan P. McAdam’s research has revealed - McAdams, D. P. (2015) The Art

and Science of Personality Development New York, Guilford Press

P42 ..as the Australian clinical psychologist Dorothy Rowe - Rowe, D. ( 2007) My

Dearest Enemy, my Dangerous Friend. Making and Breaking Sibling Bonds.

Routledge, London


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CHAPTER FOUR Harnessing our emotions

P44 .. The psychologist James Russell developed a way of illustrating affect -

Russell, J. A. (1980). A circumplex model of affect. Journal of Personality and Social

Psychology, 39(6), 1161-1178.

P45 .. the most recent theory of emotion - Barrett, L. F. (2017) How Emotions are

Made The Secret Life of the Brain Boston, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt

P46 .. more complex self-conscious emotions - J. L. Tracy, R. W. Robins & J. P.

Tangney (Eds.)The self-conscious emotions: Theory and research. New York, NY:

Guilford Press.

P46 .. respond to other people’s embarrassment with kindness - Feinberg, M., Willer,

R. and Keltner, D. (2012) Flustered and faithful: embarrassment as a signal of pro

sociality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 102(1):81-97.

P47 .. Guilt works from the inside out - Baumeister, R.F., Stillwell, A.M. and

Hetherton, T.F. (1994) Guilt; an interpersonal approach. Psychological Bulletin, 115,

243-267

P47 .. Shame works from the outside in - Brown, B. (2012) Daring Greatly. How the

Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent and Lead.

Penguin, London

P47.. Our first encounter with shame - Rowe, D. (2007) My Dearest Enemy, my

Dangerous Friend. Making and Breaking Sibling Bonds. London, Routledge

P47 ..Recurrent humiliations lead to - Anda, R.F. et al. (2006).The enduring effects

of abuse and related adverse experiences in childhood. European Archives of

Psychiatry and Clinical Neuroscience 256 (3): 174–186


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P47 .. the self is both judge and defendant - Lewis, M. ( 2000) Self-conscious

emotions: embarrassment, pride, shame and guilt in M. Lewis and J.M. Haviland-

Jones (Eds.) Handbook of emotions 2nd ed. Pp 623-636 New York, Guilford Press

P47 .. how Charles Darwin put it - Darwin, C. (1872). The expression of emotion in

man and animals. London: Murray.

P47 .. Jessica Tracy and Richard Robins, the pioneers in this field - Tracy, J.L. and

Robins, R.W. (2006) Appraisal antecedents of shame, guilt and pride; support for a

theoretical model. Personality and Social psychology Bulletin 32, 1339-1351

P48 .. feedback about the consequences of our actions - Carver, C.S. and Scheier,

M.F. (2001) On the Self-Regulation of Behaviour. Cambridge University Press

P48 .. emotions have an irrepressible power to communicate- Shariff, A. F., & Tracy,

J. L. (2009). Knowing who's boss: implicit perceptions of status from the nonverbal

expression of pride. Emotion, 9(5), 631-9.

P49 .. emotions provide the energy to kick-start our thinking - Dodge, K. A., Bates, J.

E., and Pettit, G. S. (1990). Mechanisms in the cycle of violence. Science,250,

1678–1683

P50 .. emotions and thoughts are both whole brain processes - Barrett, L. F. (2017)

How Emotions are Made The Secret Life of the Brain Boston, Houghton Mifflin

Harcourt

P50 .. As the German philosopher Eckhart Tolle put it - Tolle, E. (1999) The Power of

Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment, New York, New World Library

P50 .. emotions are advisory rather than obligatory (Gross 2008) - Gross, J.J. (2008)

Emotion and emotion regulation: Personality processes and individual differences. In

O.P. John, R.W. Robins, and L.A. Pervin (Eds.) Handbook of Personality Theory and

research (3rd ed., pp701-724) New York, Guilford Press


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P51 .. This is a form of mindfulness - Williams, M. and Penman, D. (2011)

Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world. London, Piatkus

Books

P52 .. The psychologist Todd Kashdan - Kashdan, T. and Biswass-Diener, R. (2014)

The Upside Of your Dark Side Plume, New York

P52 ..students with a richer emotional vocabulary do better at school - Brackett, M.,

Rivers ,S.E., Reyed, M.R., Salovey, P. (2012) Enhancing Academic Performance

and Social and Emotional Competence with the RULER Feeling words curriculum.

Learning and Individual Differences 22(2):218-224

P52 ... emotionally agile adults lead healthier lives - Kashdan, T.B. , Barrett, L.F.

and McKnight, P.E. (2015) Unpacking Emotion Differentiation Transforming

Unpleasant Experience by Perceiving Distinctions in Negativity. Current Directions

in Psychological Science 24 (1):10-16.

P52 .. mothers who are skilled at identifying their emotion - Warren, H.K. and Stifter,

C.A. (2008) Maternal emotion-related socialisation and pre-schoolers' developing

emotion self-awareness. Social Development 17.2 : 239-258

P53 .. The positive psychology pioneer Barbara Fredrickson - Fredrickson, B. L.

(2004).The Broaden and Build Theory of Positive Emotions. Philosophical

Transactions of the Royal Society: Biological Sciences. 359

P53 .. Threats in the environment lead to dark emotions - Nesse, R.M. and Elsworth,

P. (2009) Evolution, Emotions and Emotional Disorders American Psychologist,

Vol. 64, N0.2, 129-139

P53 .. Robert Solomon, an expert in the cognition of emotions - Solomon, R. (2007)

True to Our Emotions. What Our Emotions Are Really telling us Oxford, Oxford

University Press


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P54 .. we underestimate our capacity to tolerate such distress - Mellers, B.A. and

Mcgraw, A.P. (2001) Anticipated emotions as guides to choice. Current Directions in

Psychological Science 10(6), 210-214

P55 .. Jon Kabat-Zinn, the father of mindfulness - Kabat-Zinn, J. (2005) Coming to

our Senses: Healing ourselves and the world through Mindfulness. London, Piatkus

P55 .. Our mind can end up like a computer with too many windows open - Williams,

M. and Penman, D. (2011) Mindfulness: A practical guide to finding peace in a

frantic world. London, Piatkus


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CHAPTER FIVE Making our mark

P60 .. Steve Peters, an English psychiatrist - Peters, S. (2012) The Chimp Paradox:

The Mind Management Programme for Confidence, Success and Happiness

Vermillion London

P60 .. we experience a sense of flow - Csikszentmihalyi, M, (1990). Flow: The

Psychology of Optimal Experience. New York: Harper and Row.

P60 .. Claude M. Steele, the acclaimed social psychologist - Steele, C. M. (2010)

Whistling Vivaldi New York, Norton

P62 .. Martin Seligman defined as learned helplessness - Buchanan, G.M. and

Seligman, M.E.P. (2005) Explanatory Style Hillsdale,NJ, Erlbaum,

P62 .. Such self-protection strategies - Thompson, T. (1999) Underachieving to

protect self-worth: theory, research and interventions Aldershot, Ashgate

P62 .. Carol Dweck’s work on ‘mindset’ - Dweck, C. (2000) Self-theories: Their Role

in Motivation, Personality, and Development New York, Routledge

P62 .. Albert Bandura, the self-efficacy guru - Bandura, A (1977) Self-efficacy:

Toward a Unifying Theory of Behavioural Change. Psychological Review. 84 (2):

191–215

P65 .. Aaron James describes how many successful people- James. A. (2012) Ass-

holes: A theory London, Nicholas Brealey Publishing

P66 .. Research has found that when people see themselves as of higher status -

Galinski, A.D., Magee, J.C. Inesis, M.E. and Greenfeld, H. (2006) Power and

perspectives not taken Psychological Science 17; 1068-1074


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P66 .. underpinned respectively by healthy and unhealthy pride - Williams, L. A., &

De Steno, D. (2009). Pride: Adaptive social emotion or seventh sin? Psychological

Science, 20, 284–288.

P66 .. Hubristic pride pumps up our desire for status - Cheng, J.T., Tracy, J.L. and

Henricha, J. (2010) Pride, personality, and the evolutionary foundations of human

social status. Evolution and Human Behavior 31 334–347

P67 .. people driven by hubris become poorly sighted - Tracy, J. L., Cheng, J. T.,

Martens, J. P., & Robins, R. W. (2011)The affective core of narcissism: Inflated by

pride, deflated by shame. in W. K. Campbell, & J. Miller (Eds.), Handbook of

narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder. New York: Wiley.

P67 .. Such people may rely on dominance - Fast, N. J., & Chen, S. (2009). When

the boss feels inadequate: Power, incompetence, and aggression. Psychological

Science, 20, 1406-1413.

P67 .. Pride if partnered with humility has been found to attract prestige - Cheng, J.T.

et al (2012) Two Ways to the Top: Evidence that Dominance and Prestige are

Distinct yet Viable Avenues to Social Rank and Influence. Journal of Personality and

Social Psychology 104 (1), 103-125

P68 .. psychologist Shelley Taylor and colleagues have found that ‘self-enhancers’ -

Taylor, S.E et al ( 2003) Are Self-enhancing Cognitions Associated with Healthy or

Unhealthy Biological Profiles? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 85, No.4

605-615


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CHAPTER SIX Being part of things

P69 .. Robert Putnam, of Bowling Alone fame - Putnam, R. (2000) Bowling Alone:

The Collapse and Revival of American Community. New York: Simon & Schuster.

P69 .. The psychologists Roy Baumeister and Mark Leary - Baumeister, R. F., and

M. R. Leary. (1995) The Need to Belong: Desire for Interpersonal Attachments as a

Fundamental Human Motivation. Psychological Bulletin 117(3):497-529.

P70 .. Simon Baron-Cohen, the renowned expert in autism – Baron-Cohen, S.

(2011) Zero Degrees of Empathy: A New Theory of Human Cruelty. Penguin Allen

Lane. 2011

P70 .. empathy emerges early in life - Sagi, A, and Hoffman, M.L. (1976) Empathic

Distress in the newborn. Developmental Psychology, 12, 175-6

P70 .. By 30 months they will go out of their way to be helpful to others - Hepach, R.

(2017). Prosocial arousal in children. Child Development Perspectives, 11(1), 50-55

P71 .. Reicher believes that this sense of community - Reicher, S.D., Haslam, S.A.,

& Hopkins, N. (2005). Social identity and the dynamics of leadership: Leaders and

followers as collaborative agents in the transformation of social reality. Leadership

Quarterly, 16, 547–568.

P71 .. evolutionary biologist Martin Nowak - Nowak, M. (2011) Super Cooperators.

Melbourne, The Text Publishing Company

P71 .. what Alexis de Tocqueville described as ‘social capital’ - Tocqueville, A. de.

(2000) Democracy in America Chicago: University of Chicago


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P72 .. the key feature of organisational culture that determines the success of any

innovation - Leana, C. R. (2011) The missing link in school reform Stanford Social

Innovation Review, p34 Fall

P73 .. Jean Paul Sartre called these emotions ‘self-reproaching’ emotions - Sartre,

J.P. (1948) The Emotions New York: Citadel/ Lyle Stuart

P75.. Healthy altruism occurs when - Batson, C.D. Ahmad, N., and Stocks, E.L.

(2005) Benefits and liabilities of empathy induced altruism. In A.G. Miller (Ed.) The

Social Psychology of Good and Evil. New York; Guilford press

P75 .. Nancy Eisenberg views such other-oriented feelings of concern - Eisenberg,

N. (2002). Empathy-related emotional responses, altruism, and their socialization. In

R. J. Davidson & A. Harrington (Eds.), Visions of compassion: Western scientists

and Tibetan Buddhists examine human nature (pp. 131–164). New York, NY: Oxford

University Press.

P75 .. It can become pathological altruism - Barbara Oakley et al (Eds.) (2012)

Pathological Altruism Oxford, Oxford University Press

P76 .. spouses who repeatedly forgive their partner’s aggression are likely to

continue to receive more abuse - McNulty, J.K. (2011) The dark side of forgiveness:

the tendency to forgive predicts continued psychological and physical aggression in

marriage. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 37(6), 770-783

P76 .. danger beckons when shame calcifies into submission - Gilbert P. (1992)

Depression: The Evolution of Powerlessness. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates: Hove;

Guilford: New York.

P76 .. we don’t measure up in areas that are really important to us - Phillips, A.G.

and Silvia, P.J.(2005) Self-awareness and the emotional consequences of self-

discrepancies. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin 31.5 :703-713


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P76 .. Feeling unhappy about being put down is the key factor - Gilbert P. (1992).

Depression: The Evolution of Powerlessness. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates: Hove;

Guilford: New York.

P77.. These are the people who enjoy being martyrs - Farside, T. (2013) The

super-altruists The Psychologist Vol 26 no. 10

P78 .. Compassion triggers attempts to alleviate another’s suffering - Eisenberg, N.

(2002). Empathy-related emotional responses, altruism, and their socialization. In R.

J. Davidson & A. Harrington (Eds.), Visions of compassion: Western scientists and

Tibetan Buddhists examine human nature (pp. 131–164). New York, NY: Oxford

University Press.

P78 .. Maintaining a boundary between ourselves and the distressed person creates

a healthy altruism - Klimeki, O. And Singer, T. (2012) Empathic Distress fatigue

Rather Than Compassion Fatigue? Integrating Findings from Empathy Research in

Psychology and Neuroscience. In, Pathological Altruism (Eds.) B. Oakley, A. Knafo,

G Madhavan, D.S. Wilson Oxford University Press


Alan Mclean 15

CHAPTER SEVEN Two sides of us

P79 .. a process of reciprocal determinism - Bandura, A. (1978). The self system in

reciprocal determinism. American Psychologist, 33, 334-358.

P80 .. a ‘first draft’ of our personality - Haidt, J. (2012) The Righteous Mind :Why

Good people are Divided by Religion Allen Lane

P80 .. five broad traits, known as the ‘Big 5’ - McCrae, R.R. and Costa, P.T.(1997)

Personality in adulthood: A Five factor theory perspective. 2nd edition. New York,

Guilford Press

P81 .. Girls gain higher grades than boys - Duckworth, A.L. and Seligman, M. E.

(2006) Self-discipline gives girls the edge: Gender in Self-discipline, Grades and

Achievement Test Scores Journal of Educational Psychology 98, No.2 198-208

P81 .. neuroticism to be at the root of most psychiatric problem - Caspi, A. et al

(2014) The p factor: One General Psychopathology factor in the structure of

psychiatric disorders? Clinical Psychology Science, 2119-137

P81 .. the trait that responds best to therapy - Roberts, B. W. et al (2017)A

Systematic Review of Personality Trait Change Through Intervention. Psychological

Bulletin, Jan.

P82 .. self-control as the balancing of two competing tendencies - Mischel, W. (2014)

The Marshmallow Test Understanding Self –control and how to master it. New York:

Bantam Press

P83.. optimal self-control as the right amount for the current context - Tangney, J.P.,

Baumeister, R.F., & Boone, A.L. (2004). High self-control predicts good adjustment,

less pathology, better grades, and interpersonal success. Journal of Personality, 72,

271–322.


Alan Mclean 16

P84 .. a strong predictor of well-being. - Christopher J. Boyce, C.J. Wood, A.M.,

Powdthavee, N. (2013) Is Personality Fixed? Personality Changes as Much as

“Variable” Economic Factors and More Strongly Predicts Changes to Life

Satisfaction Social Indicators Research Vol111, Issue 1, pp 287-305

P84 .. our goals and aspirations are only weakly determined by our personality -

McAdams, D. P. (2015) The Art and Science of Personality Development New

York, Guilford Press

P85 .. our identities reflect and define what seems possible for ourselves - Erikson,

E. (1968) Identity, Youth and Crisis. New York, Norton

P86 .. The sociologist Talcott Parsons – Parsons, T. (1968) (ed.) Knowledge and

Society - American Sociology. New York: Basic Books

P87 .. our brain constructs an identity - Hood, B. (2012) The Self Illusion: How the

Social Brain Creates Identity. Oxford University Press

P87 .. we form an identity in order to feel fulfilled - Vignoles, V. L. (2011). Identity

motives. In S. J. Schwartz, K. Luyckx, & V. L. Vignoles (Eds.), Handbook of Identity

Theory and Research (pp. 403-432). New York: Springer

P88.. choosing our aspirations is core to the process of becoming who we want to be

- Sheldon, K.M. (2014) Becoming Oneself: the central role of self-concordant goal

selection Personality and Social Psychology Review 18(4):349-65

P90 .. motivated to avoid unwanted identities - Kahneman, D. (2011) Thinking Fast

and Slow London, Macmillan

P91 .. in his term ‘looking glass self’. - Cooley, C.H. (1902) Human Nature and the

Social Order. New York: Scribner's


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P91 .. we invariably identify with and think well of any group we join - Tajfel, H. and

Turner, J.C. (1986) The social identity theory of intergroup behaviour. In S. Worchel

and W.G. Austin (eds.), Psychology of intergroup relations. Chicago: Nelson, 7-24.

P91 .. feeling devalued on the basis of our group tends to undermine our confidence

- Steele, Claude M. (2010) Whistling Vivaldi New York, Norton

P91 .. Social identity threat is one of the biggest factors in underachievement -

Sherman, D.K., et al. (2013). Deflecting the trajectory and changing the narrative:

how self-affirmation affects academic performance and motivation under identity

threat. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology104:591–618

P92 .. why do people commit horrific crimes in the name of identity - Maalouf, A.

(2001) In the Name of Identity: Violence and the Need to Belong New York, Arcade

Publishing

P92 .. The attitudes we form about others are to a large extent based on how much

net value they have for us - Gervais, M.M. and Fessler, D.M.T. (2016) On the deep

structure of social affect: Attitudes, emotions, sentiments, and the case of “contempt”

Behavioural and Brain Sciences

P95 .. humility creates an abundance for both ourselves and other –

Wright, J.C., et al (2015) The psychological significance of humility Journal of

Positive Psychology, 3-12 .

Frimer, J.A. et al (2012) Hierarchical Integration of Agency and Communion: A

Study of Influential Moral Figures Journal of Personality 80: 4, 1117-1145

Davis, D. E. et al (2013). Humility and the development and repair of social bonds:

Two longitudinal studies. Self and Identity, 12, 58–77

Owens, B.P., Johnson, M.D. and Mitchell, T.R. (2013) Expressed humility in

organisations: Implications for performance, teams and leadership. Organisational

Science 24, 5: 1517-1538


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P95 .. humility generates compassion for both ourselves and other -

McCullough, M.E. (2008) Beyond Revenge; the evolution of the forgiveness instinct

San Francisco; Jossey-Bass.

Gilbert, P. (2005). Compassion and cruelty: A biopsychosocial approach. In P.

Gilbert (Ed.) Compassion: Conceptualisations, research and use in psychotherapy

(pp. 9 – 74). London: Routledge.

P95 .. lets all our qualities shine - Weidman ,A.C., Tracy, J.L. (2016) Is Humility a

Sentiment? Behavioral and Brain Sciences

P95 .. We start to judge one another very early in life - Tomasello, M. (2016) A

Natural History of Human Morality: Why being good is a miracle. Harvard University

Press

P96 .. Humility is linked to wisdom - Kross, E. and Grossmann, I. (2012) Boosting

Wisdom: Distance from the Self Enhances Wise Reasoning, Attitudes, and

Behaviour Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, Vol. 141, No. 1, 43–48

P97 .. pioneering work in the study of identity development - Erikson, E. (1968)

Identity, Youth and Crisis. New York, Norton

P97 .. gives continuity to our sense of self is our memory - Eagleman, D. (2015)The

Brain: The Story of You. Edinburgh, Canongate

P97 .. is constantly being constructed - Hood, B. (2012) The Self Illusion Constable

and Robinson Ltd London

P97 .. keeping a consistent narrative going - Giddens, A. (1991). Modernity and self-

identity: Self and society in the late modern age. Stanford, CA: Stanford University

Press

P97 .. This is why looking back regularly - Hallford, D., & Mellor, D. (2016).

Autobiographical Memory and Depression: Identity-continuity and Problem-solving


Alan Mclean 19

Functions Indirectly Predict Symptoms over Time through Psychological Well-being

Applied Cognitive Psychology, 30 (2), 152-159

P97 .. the stories children tell their parents - Howe, M. L., & Courage, M. L. (1997).

The emergence and early development of autobiographical memory. Psychological

Review, 104, 499-523.

P97 . help them compile a bank of rich autobiographical memories - Fivush, R.

(2011). The development of autobiographical memory. Annual Review of

Psychology, 62, 559-582.

P97 .. infants can’t yet globalise their feelings about themselves - Harter, S. (2006).

The cognitive and social construction of the developing self. New York: Guilford

Press.

P98 .. Their embryonic perspective-taking capacity - Selman, R.L. (1980) The growth

of personal understanding. New York: Academic Press

P98 .. when differences in self-esteem begin to appear - Harter, S. (2006). The

cognitive and social construction of the developing self. New York: Guilford Press.

P98 .. start to experience more dark emotions - Steinberg L, Silk J.S. (2002)

Parenting adolescents. In: Bornstein MH, editor. Handbook of parenting: Vol. 1:

Children and parenting. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates

P98 .. integrate their experiences into a life story - Habermas, T., and Bluck, S.

(2000). Getting a life: The emergence of the life story in adolescence. Psychological

Bulletin, 126, 748-769.

P98.. During early adolescence there is a shift away - Rosenberg, M. (1979)

Conceiving the self New York: Basic Books


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P99 .. an increase in depression rates- Kessler, R.C., Avenevoli, S., & Merikangas,

K.R. (2001). Mood disorders in children and adolescents: An epidemiological

perspective. Biological Psychiatry, 49(12), 1002-1014

P99 .. a dramatic gender divergence occurs - Cyranowski, J.M. et al (2000).

Adolescent onset of the gender difference in lifetime rates of major depression.

Archives of General Psychiatry; 57:21–27.

P99 .. a greater susceptibility to peer influence - Burnett, S., Thompson, S. , Bird, G.

Blakemore, S. (2010) Pubertal development of the understanding of social

emotions: Implications for education Learning and Individual Differences

Dec;21(6):681-689

P99 .. show increased risk-taking in the presence of peers - Steinberg (2008) A

social neuro science perspective on adolescent risk taking Developmental Review

28(1) , 78-106

P99 .. Most teenagers who have a difficult adolescence - Steinberg, L. (1990).

Autonomy, conflict, and harmony in the family relationship. In S. Feldman and G.

Elliot (Eds.) At the threshold: The developing adolescent (pp. 255–276). Cambridge:

Harvard University Press.


Alan Mclean 21

CHAPTER EIGHT Stances we take

P101.. a primate’s position in the group exaggerates any differences - innate

differences in their brain chemistry - Fiske, S.T., Cuddy, A.J.T., and Glick, P. (2007)

Universal dimensions of social cognition: warmth and competence Trends in

Cognitive science Vol 11, Issue 2, 77–83

P105 .. not so much good or bad as useful or not useful in any situation - Kashdan,

T. and Biswas-Diener, R. (2014) The Power of Negative Emotions New York: One

World Publications

P106.. giving voice to our distress - Joseph, S. (2010) What doesn’t kill us. The new

Psychology of posttraumatic growth. London: Piatkus Little Brown


Alan Mclean 22

CHAPTER NINE Styles of influence

P112.. our style that determines our effectiveness - Eisenkraft, N. and Eifenbein, H

(2010) The way you make me feel; Evidence of individual differences in affective

presence. Psychological Science XX(X) 1 –6

P118 .. ability to adapt flexibly to get it right for each individual - Mayer, J.D. (2014)

Personal Intelligence: the Power of Personality and how it shapes our lives. New

York Scientific American/Farrar Strauss, Giroux

P118 .. They are tight on standards - Kleinfeld, J. (1975). Effective teachers of

Eskimo and Indian students. School Review, 83, 301–344

P118 .. The warmth of their support sets the foundation that allows them to

challenge colleagues - Bondy, E. & Ross, D.D. (2008). The teacher as warm

demander. Educational Leadership. 66(1), 54-58.

P120 .. The demanding style can segue into a highly conditional - Ames, D.R., &

Flynn, F.J. (2007). What breaks a leader: The curvilinear relation between

assertiveness and leadership Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 92, 307–

324


Alan Mclean 23

CHAPTER TEN Collective ambition

P124 .. Edgar Schein, the American management professor - Schein, E. (2010)

Organisational Culture and leadership 4Th edition Jossey-Bass

P125 .. In unhealthy cultures there is inconsistency - Eckersley R (2006). Is modern

Western culture a health hazard? International Journal of Epidemiology, 35, 252-

258.

P125 .. for others it can be undermining - Giroux (2001). Theory and Resistance in

Education. Westport, CT: Praeger

P126.. Amy Edmondson in a landmark study of organisational culture - Edmondson,

A. (1999) Psychological Safety and Learning Behaviour in Work Teams

Administrative Science Quarterly, Vol. 44, No. 2 (Jun.), pp. 350-383

P129 .. people who trust one another cooperate better - De Jong, B.A., Dirks, K.T.

and Nicole Gillespie, N. (2016) Trust and Team Performance: A Meta-analysis of

Main Effects, Moderators, and Covariates. Journal of Applied Psychology 101.8:

1134-150.

P129 .. what organisational experts Doug Ready and Emily Truelove call ‘collective

ambition’ - Ready, D.A. and Truelove, E. (2011) The Power of Collective Ambition

Harvard Business Review, December


Alan Mclean 24

CHAPTER ELEVEN Growing insight

P130 .. people who possess deeper self-insight - Hixon, J.G and Swann, W.B.

(1993) When does introspection bear fruit? Self-reflection, self-insight, and

interpersonal choices. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 64.1 ;35-43

P131 .. some of the common pitfalls of introspection - Eurich, T. (2017) Insight: The

Power of Self-Awareness in a Self-Deluded World MacMillan, London

P132 .. walking acts as a powerful mood lifter - Miller,J.C.and Krizan, Z. (2016 )

Walking facilitates positive affect (even when expecting the opposite). Emotion Aug;

16(5):775-85.

P132 .. The best distractions are those with a fast reward - Abbe, A., Tkach, C. and

Lyubomirsky, S. (2003) The art of living by dispositionally happy people. Journal of

Happiness Studies 4.4: 385-404

P134 .. a process of writing about our core values. –

Cook, J.E., Purdie-Vaughns, V., Garcia, J, Cohen G.L. (2012) Chronic threat and

contingent belonging: protective benefits of values affirmation on identity

development. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 102:479–96

Cohen GL, Sherman DK (2014) The psychology of change: Self-affirmation and

social psychological intervention. Annual Rev Psychology 65:333–371.

P134 .. remarkably effective way of processing trauma –

Pennebaker, J. W. & Chung, C. K. (2007). Expressive writing, emotional upheavals,

and health. In H. Friedman and R. Silver (Eds.), Handbook of health psychology (pp.

263-284). New York: Oxford University Press


Alan Mclean 25

P134 .. The ‘miracle question’ - De Shazer, S. (1988) Clues: Investigating Solutions

in Brief Therapy W.W. Norton and Co

P135 .. awareness is like a melting pot - Kabat-Zinn, J. (2005) Coming to our

Senses: Healing ourselves and the world through Mindfulness London, Piatkus

P135 Mindfulness, as defined broadly - Langer, E. (1997) The Power of Mindful

Learning Perseus Books

P137 .. Effective people seek out feedback regularly - Ashford, S.J. and Tsui, A.S.

(1991) Self-regulation for managerial effectiveness. The role of active feedback

seeking Academy of Management Journal 34.2:251-280


Alan Mclean 26

CHAPTER TWELVE The power of priming

P140 .. the thing we look for when we first meet someone - Fiske, S.T., Cuddy,

A.J.T., and Glick, P. (2007) Universal dimensions of social cognition: warmth and

competence Trends in Cognitive science Vol 11, Issue 2, 77–83

P141 .. an emotion that helps build a strong collective identity - Sedikides,

C.,Wildschut, T., Routledge, C., & Arndt, J. (2015). Nostalgia counteracts self-

discontinuity and restores self-continuity. European Journal of Social Psychology,

45, 52-61s.

P141 .. mutuality require each partner to participate actively - Benn, S.I. (1982)

Individuality, Autonomy and Community. In Community as a Social Ideal Kamenka,

E. (Ed) New York, St Martin’s Press

P141 ..Laughter expresses an acceptance of shared responsibility - Provine, R.R.

(1996) Laughter American Scientist 84, 38-45

P141 .. a form of 'remote tickling' - Dunbar, R. (2004) Grooming, Gossip and the

Evolution of Language London, Faber and Faber

P142 .. interest is the reason that we develop our talents in the first place - Bloom, B.

( 1985) Developing Talent in Young People New York, Ballantine Books

P142 .. We are more committed to a task when we are intrinsically motivated - Deci,

E., Ryan, R. (2000) The 'what' and 'why of goal pursuits: human needs and the self-

determination of behaviour. Psychology Inquiry, 11:227-268.

P143 .. successfully made healthy eating appealing to teenagers - Bryan, C.J et al

(2016) Harnessing adolescent values to motivate healthier eating Proceedings of the

National Academy of Sciences113 (39) 10830-10835


Alan Mclean 27

P143 .. praising something exceptional - Lemov, M. 2010) Teach like a Champion

Jossey-Bass

P143 .. affirms that previously received feedback has been put into practice -

Mambrick-Santoyo, P. (2012) Leaverage leadership A Practical Guide to Building

Exceptional Schools Jossey-Bass

P144 .. People are motivated by rewards in the short-term - Murayama, K.; Kitagami,

S.; Tanaka, A.; Raw, J. A. L. (2017) People’s Naiveté About How Extrinsic Rewards

Influence Intrinsic Motivation. Motivation Science, Jan

P144 .. the best predictor of divorce - Gottman, J.M. & Levenson, R.W. (1992).

Marital processes predictive of later dissolution: Behavior, Physiology, and Health.

Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 63, 221-233

P147 .. Predictability lets people know what is coming next - Kahneman, Daniel

(2011) Thinking Fast and Slow London, Macmillan

P148 .. Giving choice is a powerful approach to encourage independence - Botti, S.

and McGill, A.L. (2011) The Locus of Choice: Personal Causality and Satisfaction

with Hedonic and Utilitarian Decisions Journal of Consumer Research, Vol. 37,

No. 6, pp. 1065-1078

chapter one taking a good look at ourselves · p60 .. we experience a sense of flow -...

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