When you meet a new person, at what point do you typically begin sharing information about the negative or dysfunctional elements of your past, family, or personal life?

As soon as we are introduced.

The first time we bump into each other after being introduced.

During our first private, one-on-one conversation.

After we have chit-chatted a couple of times.

As soon as I feel she/he is open to exchanging this kind of personal information.

Only after she/he has revealed that type of information about him/herself.

Never - I keep that type of info to myself.

2.It is the first anniversary of your beloved grandma's death and youre feeling pretty down. A co-worker with whom youre only on a hi and bye basis notes that you are looking a bit down in the dumps. She/he asks if there is anything wrong. What would be your response?

I'd tell him/her I am fine.

I'd tell him/her I'm having a rough day, that's all.

I'd tell him/her that it is the anniversary of my grandmother's death.

I'd tell him/her that it is the anniversary of my grandmother's death and proceed to tell him/her what an amazing woman my grandma was.

I'd tell him/her that it is the anniversary of my grandmother's death and proceed to tell him/her how close we were, how she died, and how her death tore me apart.

3.You are in your dentist's chair waiting for him/her to make an appearance. You are engaging in polite conversation with the dental assistant. What topic are you most likely to talk about?

Weather

Dental hygiene in general

My dental hygiene

TV shows/movies

My work

My family

My life problems

My love life

My sex life

4.During a meeting with a close co-worker, she/he makes what you feel is an unsavory comment (a harsh statement about a minority group, politics, spirituality, etc.). You are the only two in the room. How do you deal with his/her comment?

I clam up; I don't want to cause a fight.

I clam up; I can't talk rationally when someones says something so closed-minded.

I shoot him/her a dirty look to show that I don't agree.

I pretend to be in agreement with his/her view.

I hold my tongue unless she/he continues pushing my buttons, in which case I tell him/her exactly how I feel.

I simply state my disagreement and leave it at that.

I carefully explain how I feel on the issue.

I immediately tell him/her that I dont agree with or appreciate his/her inappropriate comment and explain in detail why.

5.You've been seeing someone whom you think is great but youve recently found out that she/he is still married (although separated) with two children. You really care about this person, but arent sure whether you should continue the relationship. Your mom is coming to visit you for a week. Ten minutes after her arrival she has asked for an update on your love life. How would you respond?

I'd find a way to subtly change the subject and avoid the question.

I'd smile smugly but give her no information.

I'd tell her that I don't want to talk about it.

I'd tell her the name of the guy/girl I am dating and provide no other information.

I'd tell her a bit about my partner and our relationship without revealing his/her marital situation.

I'd confide to her everything about my relationship including the details of his/her marital situation.

You and a close friend are on a weekend camping trip. Your buddy has become increasingly bossy as the weekend progresses and you are getting extremely impatient with his/her attitude. Do you address your feelings to your friend?

No, I bite my tongue and try to enjoy myself despite my annoyance.

No, I don't want to create a difficult situation between us.

Not directly, but I'll make sarcastic comments to insinuate how I am feeling.

Not directly, but I give him/her a little bit of his/her own medicine, hoping he/she gets the point.

Yes, I will tell him/her exactly what is bugging me - as gently as possible.

Yes, I'll be honest and direct and simply state that his/her behavior is bothering me.

7.You have just had a blowout on the phone with a family member. Following the ill-fated call, you go to the local grocery store to pick up a few necessities. When the clerk asks how you are, what is your response?

"Fine thanks and you?"

"I've had better days."

"Well, I'd be fine if one of my family members hadn't called today!"

Crappy - I just had a huge fight with someone.

8.Youve just arrived to a new town as part of a school/job transfer. On the cab ride from the airport the driver asks where you are from and what youre doing in town. How do you respond?

I pipe up and tell the cabby where Im from, why I moved, my hopes that Ill like this new city basically everything that comes to mind.

I tell the cabby where Im from and explain that I just got transferred here.

I simply state that Im here as a tourist in hope of avoiding further questions.

I respond in a vague manner and say that Im visiting family.

I ignore the question or talk about something else.

9.Youre standing in line at the pharmacy waiting to pick up a prescription. You overhear the person in front of you asking the pharmacist for advice about a hemorrhoid problem his/her son is having. Coincidentally, you had gone through the same problem a few months ago. The pharmacist recommends a medication, but from experience, you know it wont work and actually have a better idea. What would you do?

Nothing Id like to help but Im not about to reveal that kind of information to a total stranger.

I tap the person on the shoulder when she/he is alone and tell him/her that I know someone who had the same experience and recommend another remedy.

I tap the person on the shoulder when she/he is alone and tell him/her that I had the same experience and recommend another remedy.

I immediately pipe in, explaining to the person and the pharmacist all my symptoms and how I treated it.

10.Youve been sent to represent your company at a conference. Just after takeoff on the 6-hour flight, the passenger beside you asks if you are traveling for business or pleasure. How do you respond?

I pretend I didn't hear the question.

I say, "Business," and open the in-flight magazine to signal that I am not interested in chatting.

I briefly summarize the purpose of my trip, then quickly open my reading material.

I tell him/her Im on business and engage in brief chitchat.

I start a light conversation about my line of work, asking him/her questions as well.

I gladly answer and look forward to a deep, engaging conversation.

As youre taking your garbage to the curb, you notice a new neighbor is moving into the house next door. As soon as the moving truck leaves, she/he walks over to introduce him/herself. She/he shakes your hand warmly and asks about the neighborhood. How do you respond?

I offer a brief answer, wish him/her a nice day, and then head back inside.

I simply state how long Ive lived here and that I like the neighborhood.

I tell him/her how long Ive lived here, and where all the important places are located (i.e. grocery stores, schools, gas stations, etc.).

I give him/her a brief history about when I moved to the neighborhood, where I work, and some tips about where to find some great stores.

I tell him/her how long Ive lived in the neighborhood, where I work, some gossip about the rest of the people who live on the block, and any other information she/he would like to know. 12.You arrive at a dinner party hosted by a good friend. There are many people in attendance that youve never met before. You end up sitting next to a person of the same sex. From what you can tell so far, she/he seems like someone you could be friends with. As the meal progresses, how much do you reveal about yourself?

Nothing - I let him/her do the talking.

Our conversation goes no further than polite impersonal chitchat.

At first I reveal nothing personal, but by dessert I am talking about my job, favorite movies, my taste in music, etc.

I tell him/her a bit about myself right away and soon enough, move on to talking about my job, family, favorite movies, taste in music, etc.

I immediately start talking about anything and everything from my job to my love life. 13.Lately your partner has been experiencing a severe decrease in libido. You are concerned and would like to try some new "tricks" in an attempt to improve the problem. While over at your favorite cousin's place, do you confide to him/her about the problem and ask for ideas or advice?

No way Im not comfortable discussing my sex life with anyone.

No, Im uncomfortable talking about my sex life with a family member.

I ask hypothetical and vague questions, without actually revealing anything personal.

I present it as a "friend's" problem and have a casual conversation about the issue.

I mention that our sex life is faltering, without providing details, and ask for some tips to spice it up.

Yes, I recount all that is wrong with our sex life, including uncensored details, and ask for his/her ideas on how to deal with it. 14.You receive praise from your superior at work. Later in the day you are out for dinner with a friend. Do you tell him/her about your experience?

Yes, as soon as we sit down at our table.

Yes, but it is not the first thing I tell him/her about when we meet.

Yes, but only if the conversation turns to the subject of work.

Yes, but only if my friend asks specifically how my job is going.

No, I dont bring it up. 15.A group of people at work/school decide to get together after work for a bite to eat. You felt like you were part of their group and expected to be invited to join in. Apparently they felt differently, because the invitation never came. Now you are feeling rejected and like a bit of a loser. One of your parents calls and asks what you are up to that evening. Do you share your unpleasant experience?

No, I keep it to myself.

I mention that I had expected to go out with people from work/school, but it didn't pan out.

I mention that I had expected to go out with people from work/school, but the insensitive buffoons ditched me. I would pretend that it was no big deal.

I would share my feelings of rejection and explain that I had expected to go out with people from work/school but was ditched.

You do something shameful (tell a lie, steal something, hurt someone on purpose, etc.) and you feel really bad about it. Do you share your experience with a friend?

Yes, I tell my friend exactly what I did and how it makes me feel.

Sort of - I tell my friend that I did something I am ashamed of (without being specific) and then tell him/her how it makes me feel.

I reveal certain details, but only if my friend asks what is bothering me.

No, I dont say anything.

17.Youve been going through a tough time lately, feeling really down in the dumps. Things are not going well in your love life and work is really getting to you. As youre out with a friend having dinner, she/he comments on the fact that you dont seem to be yourself, and asks whats wrong. How do you respond?

I tell him/her that Im just tired.

I shrug it off, fake a smile, and tell him/her that Im perfectly fine.

I tell him/her that Ive had a rough couple of days, but dont go into detail.

I explain that things are not going well in my relationship and at work.

I tell him/her everything thats been bothering me lately, and ask for some advice.

18.Youve recently started to develop feelings for a good friend of yours. If you were both single, would you tell him/her how you felt?

Never I wouldnt want to ruin the friendship or make things awkward.

Only if I knew for certain that she/he felt the same way.

Yes, Id be totally honest with him/her.

19.Your best friends new boyfriend/girlfriend is annoying, to say the least. She/he talks non-stop (about him/herself, of course), doesnt put an effort into getting to know you, and gets upset whenever your friend makes plans with you that dont include his/her ball and chain. When your friend asks what you think about his/her girlfriend/boyfriend, how do you respond?

I tell him/her honestly that I dont like his/her girlfriend/boyfriend.

I explain to him/her that there are a few things about him/her that annoy me quite a bit.

I comment that she/he is a little rough around the edges, but dont point out anything specific.

I explain that she/he seems a little standoffish, but I quickly add that its probably because I dont know him/her well.

I tell him/her that I think she/hes great.

20.When a close family member asks questions about your personal life, you usually:

Offer as brief an answer as possible, if any at all.

Simply tell him/her that things are just fine.

Give him/her the basics how the relationship is going; recent places you went to with your partner (e.g. for vacation or dinner), etc.

Offer a few details about some of your partners quirks, and some info on future plans you have together.

Go into detail how happy you are, the cute/funny things your partner does, your future plans together, etc.

Youre having dinner with your family when the topic of conversation turns to a subject that you know a lot about. Do you actively get involved in the discussion?

Absolutely I share my opinion, why I feel this way, and counter any comments I disagree with.

I offer some comments here and there, particularly when it involves something I dont agree with.

I pipe in a few times, but otherwise dont say too much.

I dont add anything to the conversation. 22.Youre going through a tough break up/divorce, and things are really starting to wear you down emotionally. A close family member of yours recently went through the same events you are. Do you talk to him/her about it?

No I keep my problems to myself.

Ill share a few of my woes, but only if she/he initiates the conversation.

I wouldnt directly initiate a conversation about it, but I would mention that Im having a rough time.

I would call him/her up about a topic unrelated to my problems, but make it obvious in my tone that somethings wrong.

Id call him/her up and ask how she/he got through his/her difficulties.

Id call him/her up and pour my heart out. 23.Youre having some financial difficulties and need money to pay the bills and buy groceries. You normally dont like borrowing, as you dont want people to think youre not responsible with money. When your mom/dad calls you up to see how youre doing, how do you respond?

I tell him/her that things are just fine.

I make a vague comment about the number of bills that keep pouring in, and hope she/he gets the hint and offers to help.

I mention that things are getting a little rough budget-wise, but otherwise, Im fine.

I mention that Ill have to cut some costs here and there because money is getting tight.

I confess that Im having some financial difficulty and would really appreciate his/her help. 24.Youve been doing a little introspection lately - about life, death, what your place is in this world issues that you dont normally think about but are starting to become an important matter to you. Do you share your thoughts and fears with a friend?

Absolutely not she/he will think Im nuts.

Id say something a little vague like, Where do you think youll be 10 years from now, and maybe start a discussion.

Yes I enjoy talking about this stuff. 25.For years youve been stuck at a job that no longer satisfies you. Although youre really good at it and your family is extremely proud of your success, youre just not happy. All your life, youve wanted to follow a specific dream, a job that, although wont bring much money and may be considered a ridiculous pursuit by some, will make you truly happy. Youre torn as to whether you should follow your heart. Do you share your dilemma with your family?

No theyll probably think that my dream is stupid or at best unrealistic.

No, but the next time they ask how Im doing at work, Ill imply that Im not very happy.

Ill mention that I plan to pursue something on the side, and see how they react to my dream job.

Id tell them that I was thinking of switching jobs, but emphasize the fact that my decision isnt final yet.

Id tell them that Im really miserable at my current job and want to pursue my dream, emphasizing the fact that I would greatly appreciate their support. Age: Years What is the highest degree of formal education that you have achieved? How did you do at school in terms of academic achievement? How would you classify your socio-economic status? In the options below, please, select the closest level. (Approximate annual household income brackets are included for your reference, but keep in mind that that socio-economic status is comprised of income, education and occupational prestige.) Which of the following best describes your ethnicity? Are you a person with a disability as defined by the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA)? (Check all disabilities that apply.) NoYes

Physical/Systemic disability (e.g. lupus, MS, CP)

Hearing impairment or deafness

Visual impairment or blindness

Cognitive disability (e.g. learning disability, post-stroke)

Psychiatric disability (e.g. depression, bi-polar disorder)

If you have selected any of the above, please specify your diagnosis

Other (please specify) How much does your family know about your thoughts, feelings, opinions and past experiences? How much do your friends know about your thoughts, feelings, opinions and past experiences? Would you consider yourself a friendly person? Do you have difficulty trusting others? Do friends or family ever complain that you never tell them how you feel/what you're thinking? Would you consider yourself to be an assertive person?Snapshot ReportSelf-disclosure with Friends46

According to your responses, you generally don't share much about yourself with your friends, which may be a reflection of the type of friendships you have, or your own character. Perhaps when you've self-disclosed in the past, you ended up regretting it. Or maybe you haven't developed the kind of closeness with your friends that allows you to open up to them. Whatever the case, the fact of the matter is that you may be missing out on some of the benefits of self-disclosure. Connecting with other humans is a natural need, as is feeling loved and understood. If the problem seems to lie with your friends, try talking to them about it. Perhaps they, too, are ready to open up and share with you. If, however, they make you feel uncomfortable, consider making friends that you can talk to.

HYPERLINK "http://www.sidneyjourard.com/Questionnaire.pdf" \l "page=3" \o "Page 3"

The Jourard Sixty-Item Self-Disclosure

Questionnaire

www.sidneyjourard.com This questionnaire was written in 1958 as part of a study of self-disclosure by Sidney M. Jourard and Paul Lasakow. Note: The questionnaire may be used or modified by researchers without written permission.

[Subjects were given the following instructions for completing the questionnaire:] The answer sheet which you have been given has columns with the headings Mother, Father, Male Friend, Female Friend, and Spouse. You are to read each item on the questionnaire, and then indicate on the answer sheet the extent that you have talked about that item to each person; that is, the extent to which you have made yourself known to that person. Use the rating scale that you see on the answer sheet to describe the extent that you have talked about each item. The self-disclosure rating scale was as follows:

0: Have told the other person nothing about this aspect of me.

1: Have talked in general terms about this. The other person has only a general idea about this aspect of me.

2:. Have talked in full and complete detail about this item to the other person. They know me fully in this respect and could describe me accurately.

X: Have lied or misrepresented myself to the other person so that they have a false picture of me.

The numerical entries were summed (X's were counted as zeros), yielding totals which constituted the self-disclosure scores. Attitudes and Opinions 1. What I think and feel about religion; my personal religious views.

2. My personal opinions and feelings about other religious groups than my own, e.g., Protestants, Catholics, Jews, atheists.

3. My views on communism.

4. My views on the present governmentthe president, government policies, etc.

5. My views on the quetion of racial integration in schools, transportation, etc.

6. My personal views on drinking.

7. My personal views on sexual moralityhow I feel that I and others ought to behave in sexual matters.

8. My personal standards of beauty and attractiveness in womenwhat I consider to be attractive in a woman.

9. The things I regard as desirable for a man to bewhat I look for in a man.

10. My feelings about how parents ought to deal with children. Tastes and Interests 1. My favorite foods, the ways I like food prepared, and my food dislikes.

2. My favorite beverages, and the ones I don't like.

3. My likes and dislikes in music.

4. My favorite reading matter.

5. The kinds of movies that I like to see best; the TV shows that are my favorites.6. My tastes in clothing.

7. The style of house, and the kinds of furnishings that I like best.

8. The kind of party, or social gathering that I like best, and the kind that would bore me, or that I wouldn't enjoy.

9. My favorite ways of spending spare time, e.g., hunting, reading, cards, sports events, parties, dancing, etc.

10. What I would appreciate most for a present.Work (or Studies) 1. What I find to be the worst pressures and strains in my work.

2. What I find to be the most boring and unenjoyable aspects of my work.

3. What I enjoy most, and get the most satisfaction from in my present work.

4. What I feel are my shortcomings and handicaps that prevent me from working as I'd like to, or that prevent me from getting further ahead in my work.

5. What I feel are my special strong points and qualifications for my work.

6. How I feel that my work is appreciated by others (e.g., boss, fellow-workers, teacher, husband, etc.)

7. My ambitions and goals in my work.

8. My feelings about the salary or rewards that I get for my work.

9. How I feel about the choice of career that I have madewhether or not I'm satisfied with it.

10. How I really feel about the people that I work for, or work with.Money 1. How much money I make at my work, or get as an allowance.

2. Whether or not I owe money; if so how much.

3. Whom I owe money to at present; or whom I have borrowed from in the past.

4. Whether or not I have savings, and the amount.

5. Whether or not others owe me money; the amount, and who owes it to me.

6. Whether or not I gamble; if so, the way I gamble, and the extent of it.

7. All of my present sources of incomewages, fees, allowance, dividends, etc.

8. My total financial worth, including property, savings, bonds, insurance, etc.

9. My most pressing need for money right now, e.g., outstanding bills, some major purhase that is deired or needed.

10. How I budget my moneythe proportion that goes to necessities, luxuries, etc.Personality 1. The aspects of my personality that I dislike, worry about, that I regard as a handicap to me.

2. What feelings if any, that I have trouble expressing or controlling.

3. The facts of my present sex lifeincluding knowledge of how I get sexual gratification; any problems that I might have, with whom I have relaltions, if anybody.

4. Whether or not I feel that I am attractive to the opposite sex; my problems, if any, about getting favorable attention from the opposite sex [or same sex if so oriented].

5. Things in the past or present that I feel ashamed and guilty about.

6. The kind of things that just make me furious.

7. What it takes to get me feeling real depressed and blue.

8. What it takes to get me real worried, anxious and afraid.

9. What it takes to hurt my feelings deeply.

10. The kinds of things that make me especially proud of myself, elated, full of self-esteem or self-respect.

Body 1. My feelings about the appearance of my facethings I don't like, and things that I might like about my face and headnose, eyes, hair, teeth, etc.

2. How I wish I looked: my ideals for overall appearance.

3. My feelings about different parts of my bodylegs, hips, waist, weight, chest, or bust, etc.

4. Any problems and worries that I had with my appearance in the past.

5. Whether or not I now have any health problemseg., trouble with sleep, digestion, female complaints, heart condition, allergies, headaches, piles, etc.

6. Whether or not I have any long-range worries or concerns about my health, e.g., cancer, ulcers, heart trouble.

7. My past record of illness and treatment.

8. Whether or not I now make special efforts to keep fit, healthy, and attractive, eg., calisthenics, diet.

9. My present physical measurements, e.g., height, weight, waist, etc.

10. My feelings about my adequacy in sexual behaviorwhether or not I feel able to perform adequately in sex-relationships.