children in a digital age: a parents guide

8/8/2019 Children in a Digital Age: A Parents Guide

1/12

Childrenina

Dig

italAg

e

PARENTGUIDE

In todays fast paced

digital age, often parents feelleft behind while their childrenseem to be easily navigating

every rapid change andinnovation. It is no wonder

many parents are at a loss ofhow to assist, monitor and

guide their children throughthe digital maze of the Web

2.0 explosion.

Often parents either make

quick and extreme decisionsor no decision at all regardingtechnology because they just

dont know enough about it.We hope this guide begins to

assist parents in makinginformed decisions about

technology, social media andthe internet that are best for

their children and family.

Contents:Social Media! 2-5Compiled by Eliezer Jones, Ph.D

Internet & Technology! 6-7Compiled by Rabbi NormanLowenthal, MSW, MS Ed., LCSW-C

Cyberbullying! 8-12Compiled by Rona Novick, Ph.D.

Special thanks to Yeshivat Noam (Paramus, NJ) for their partnership in

addressing this important issue. We would also like to thank Rabbi Norman

Lowenthal, MSW, MS Ed., LCSW-C ([email protected]) and Dr.

Rona Novick([email protected]) for their contributions to the guide.

Resource Guide Designed by:

Eliezer Jones, Ph.D.Educational Technology Specialist

Institute for University-School PartnershipAzrieli Graduate School of Jewish Education and Administration

Yeshiva University

A division of Azrieli Graduate School ofJewish Education and Administration
mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]


2/12

2

Social Networking Sites for KidsThe most popular digital communitiesfor every ageBy Melissa Rayworth, Parenting

Today, kids start wading intothe social networking watersas soon as their little fingerscan type, exploring digital"communities," many of themdesigned mainly to stoke

their fascination withparticular toys. New siteslaunch constantly, targetingan ever-younger audience.

KINDERGARTEN THROUGHEARLY SCHOOL AGE

The focus is on communalgame-playing and earningpoints to buy virtual things,rather than socializing.

There's some messagingbetween friends, but mostsites allow young kids onlyto post messages using

prewritten, generic phrases or wordsfrom a tightly restricted dictionary.Kids can't share personal informationlike a home address. Among the mostpopular:

Webkinz.com: Free for one year withpurchase of a Webkinz or Lil'Kinz toy.Owners feed and clothe digitalversions of their plush "pets" and playgames to earn virtual "KinzCash."They can play video games againstother kids or take quizzes designedfor players 5+. They're rewarded forspending lots of time on the site, soyou may need to impose time limits.Safety-wise, kids can't type messagesthat go beyond select phrases unlessa parent approves their access to the

"KinzChat PLUS" area. In that area(recommended for ages 10+), kidscan only use words from the site'sdictionary.

ClubPenguin.com: This hugely popularDisney-owned website charges amembership fee (about $5/month,depending on the plan you choose).Kids are represented by penguinavatars rather than by images ofthemselves. By playing games, theyearn virtual money to clothe andaccessorize their penguins anddecorate their igloos. They can sendother penguins a "buddy invite," visittheir igloo, chat using predeterminedphrases -- unless they get clearancefrom parents to chat freely -- and sendpostcards, among other things. (They

can also snub each other!) Designedfor kids 6-14, but open to all ages.

ELEMENTARY AND MIDDLESCHOOL

Whyville.com: Free, designed for kids8-15. Like Webkinz and ClubPenguin,it involves playing games to earnvirtual money (in this case, "clams")for use in building an avatar. Ratherthan being represented as a cartoon

animal, Whyville members createavatars that represent their physicalselves. That's one step closer to thevibe of more grown-up sites, but it'sstill more a virtual world/gamingspace than a true social networkingsite. Chat among new members isrestricted to prewritten phrases, butthose who pass a "chat licensetest" (to show they understand onlinesafety) have more freedom to typepersonal messages to friends. Some

words are blacklisted. This site doesn'thawk toys and is more educationalthan most.

Dgamer.com (Disney XD): Access isfree with purchase of certain Disneyvideo games. Kids have avatars, canchat and send virtual gifts, but thepriority is gaming via the networkingcapability of a Nintendo DS. Thebasic chat function allows only

prewritten phrases. Parental approvalis required for more advancedchatting ("Open Chat" and "SpeedChat Plus"), which is watched over byhuman moderators. A warning: Teachkids the difference between Dgamer's"public chat" (where strangers canread and join their conversations) and"private chat" (limited to those you'veapproved as friends).

YOUNG TEENS AND BEYOND

MySpace and Facebook were oncethe realm of college students andgrown-ups, but high school and evenmiddle school kids have discoveredthem. Facebook is now open toanyone 13 and older, and theminimum age on MySpace is 14.

Sound far away? Your kids mayalready be seeing their friends' oldersiblings using these sites, or they mayeven have fudged their birthdate toregister themselves! If you're notalready using them, learn about themnow.

Both sites offer broad freedom to postwords, images, audio files and video.So step one is talking with your kidsabout the importance of not sharing

personal information with strangers,not posting photos that couldembarrass themselves or their friends,and steering clear of cyber-bullying.But the risk with these sites is thatanyone can post a comment aboutyour child or identify them in thecaption of an embarrassing photo --kids can't control their friends'behavior. Older versions of a webpage are stored on servers and canpop up when your child least expects

it" --" like during the collegeadmissions process.

Your child shouldn't accept "friendrequests" from people he or shedoesn't know well. Join these sitesalong with your kids and immediatelyset up a "friend" connection withthem. They may not like it, but thenyou can see who their friends are andwhat they're posting.

SocialMedia
http://webkinz.com/http://webkinz.com/http://dgamer.com/http://whyville.com/http://clubpenguin.com/http://myspace.com/http://facebook.com/http://facebook.com/http://facebook.com/http://myspace.com/http://myspace.com/http://dgamer.com/http://dgamer.com/http://whyville.com/http://whyville.com/http://clubpenguin.com/http://clubpenguin.com/http://webkinz.com/http://webkinz.com/


3/12

3

Talk to your kids/students aboutwhat is appropriate and notappropriate information torelease on the Internet. Take anactive role in their digital life.

Protect your kids digital identityby creating news alerts for theirname on Google, Yahoo! &MSN.

Talk about the implicationslifecasting (a continualbroadcast of events in a person'slife through digital media) can

and will have on their future.

Remind kids that the web is that"permanent record" we were allwarned about. Even though yougo back and change that blogentry or delete that embarrassingphoto, the information is archivedon the Internet Archive/WaybackMachine.

Whether it's Club Penguin,MyYearbook or MySpace--makesure your kids learn how andwhy they should use privacyfilters--and then double check tomake sure they are using them.

Visit the sites your kids use andread the TOS (Terms of Service)

and/or Community Guidelines.Learn how to report abuse andshare the information with your

kids. And while you're at it, learnmore about the Children's OnlinePrivacy Protection Act (COPPA).

Social networks are self-policing,if you find objectionable content,bullying or other abusereport it!

Think of it as a 21st CenturyNeighborhood Watch program.

http://www.debaird.net/

FACEBOOK LINGO

Profile: A group of pages that act as acombination of an online journal,

message board, and photo album.Facebook profiles may include yourwork information, hometown, photos,

interests, and messages from friends on

your "wall" (see next entry).

Wall: A virtual message board onFacebook, where friends type

messages and can comment on the

photos, videos, and status updatesyou've posted on your profile. The wall

can be a source of embarrassmentwhen friends leave messages

referencing incidents best leftunmentioned (often beginning with "I

was just remembering that time...").This is where the delete function comesin handy.

Status Update: This feature lets youpost a short note about your status(what you're doing at any given time)

and lends itself to abuse by theuninhibited ("Jane is going to theproctologist"). To tell all (or just alittle), fill in the "What's on your mind?"

field on your personal profile pageand click on the button to share.

Friend: Anyone whom you accept intoyour online circle, and anyone whoaccepts you into theirs, is called a

"friend," whether the person is a closerelative or a complete stranger. Thistitle in no way confers an actual

relationship of any sort and may lead

to learning superfluous personal details

about casual acquaintances (see"Status Update").

Poke: A friendlyand sometimes

flirtatiousway of saying hello tofriends and more-than-friends. To send

a virtual poke, click on the related link

on friends' profile pages. Your friends

receive private notification of theactionletting them know you're tryingto get their attention. We say: Keep

poking to a minimum. And if you do it,remember your manners: All poking

should be welcome and consensual.

News Feed: This up-to-the-minute

feature on the Facebook home pagealerts you to your friends' profile

updatesphotos added or work

information changed, for example. Thenews feed was a controversial featurewhen it was added in 2006, as users

first believed the constant broadcastingof information would violate theirprivacy (see next entry).

Privacy: A term dating back to circa2004...before the invention ofFacebook and other social-networking

sites. Generally regarded as pass.

Source: http://www.aarp.org

_______________________________

Decoding Internet Lingo

& Character Symbols

http://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-

today/teens-and-technology/internet-

lingo.aspx
http://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.aarp.org/http://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.theantidrug.com/advice/teens-today/teens-and-technology/internet-lingo.aspxhttp://www.aarp.org/http://www.aarp.org/http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/01/social-networking-safety-tips-for-parents-educators.htmlhttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/01/social-networking-safety-tips-for-parents-educators.htmlhttp://www.ftc.gov/privacy/privacyinitiatives/childrens.htmlhttp://www.ftc.gov/privacy/privacyinitiatives/childrens.htmlhttp://www.myspace.com/http://www.myspace.com/http://www.myyearbook.com/http://www.myyearbook.com/http://www.clubpenguin.com/http://www.clubpenguin.com/http://www.archive.org/index.phphttp://www.archive.org/index.phphttp://www.archive.org/index.phphttp://www.archive.org/index.phphttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2008/07/memo-to-gen-y-f.htmlhttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2008/07/memo-to-gen-y-f.htmlhttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2007/03/gen_y_growing_u.htmlhttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2007/03/gen_y_growing_u.htmlhttp://alerts.yahoo.com/http://alerts.yahoo.com/


4/12

4

5 Fun and Safe Social Networksfor Children

TOGETHERVILLE

Parents can sign up their children by using their ownFacebook accounts to create a profile for their kids onthis Facebook-like site. Once parents have selectedfriends for their children by searching other studentsat their childs schools, adding family friends from

their own Facebook profiles, and sending e-mailinvites, children have access to selected YouTubevideos, games, and creative projects. The site has otherfeatures that mirror Facebook, like the ability toheart it, buy and send gifts using a virtual currency(the twist is that parents give the currency to theirchildren free of cost as allowance), and share videosand other parts of the site with their friends.

Where the site departs from Facebook puts manyparents minds at rest: no outside links, nounapproved friends, and no private conversations. Inorder to post original comments instead of pre-set

options, children must agree to this code of conduct: Iagree to not say anything mean or hurtful, not sayembarrassing things about myself, my friends, or myfamily, and take responsibility for what I say onTogetherville.

Togethervilles target age group is under 10, whichmakes pre-set comment options like Hampsters areso CUTE! understandable. The site also facilitatesparents participation in their childrens introduction tosocial media by encouraging parent-child interaction.Not only can parents view their childs social networkactivity, but they can also post messages to his or herwall, allocate virtual allowances, and send virtualgifts.

WHATs WHAT

This site is probably the most secure social network forkids on this list. In order to sign their children up,parents need to submit their credit card information toverify their identity and they must submit three mugshots (taken with a webcam) of their child for thesites records. As with every site on this list, I was still

able to create a profile as an adult and thereforebrowse friends in my grade, which I selected asseventh. Unlike the other sites, however, the WhatsWhat team had discovered my adult presence (viathose mug shots) within about six hours and blockedmy profile.

While children are free to interact with people they

dont know, they cant make friends with people whoare out of their age group (in their grade or one gradebelow or above theirs) without parental permission.Beyond this, the network functions much like theothers: users can exchange messages, make friends,join and create groups, and view their friends profiles.Parents can edit or delete their childrens profiles atany time, and everything posted on the site ismonitored.

The intended age group for the site is between 8 and14, which seems realistic given that two big draws ofsocial networking the ability to make friends with

new people and share your thoughts with others areretained.

SCUTTLEPAD

To sign up for ScuttlePad, kids provide their birthday,favorite color, first name, and parents e-mail address,and theyre not allowed on the site until their parentsapprove it. Once logged in, theyre free to postmessages, make friends, upload photos, and makecomments but with a catch. All comments on the siteneed to follow a given format and use a given set ofwords. Messages are composed within the framework,Im click, click, click, with each click leading to achoice of words. Photos are manually approved byScuttlePad, and only first names are used on the site.

The comment outline feature makes the site moresecure. Realistically, anyone of any age, with anymalicious intention, could sign up, but its hard to domuch damage with the pre-set communication options.Similarly, its impossible to cyber bully or even reallyhurt anyones feelings using the preset options.

On the other hand, this feature can be restricting to

the point of making the online experience dull to olderkids. The site is intended to teach children ages 6 to 11about how to use a social media site, and it definitelyaccomplishes that goal. It might be most engaging,however, for kids on the younger end of that agegroup.

giantHello

Parents can verify their identities and sign theirchildren up for giantHello by either providing the lastfour digits of their social security number or by

charging one cent to a credit card. Beyond that, thesite provides the social networking experience thatcomes closest to mainstream social media networks,making it more appealing to older children who wantmore autonomy than is allowed on some of the othersites.

Profile pages function much like a Facebook wall:

friends can leave comments, children can update theirstatus, and activity on the site like joining groups is reported on their page. Children also have optionsto send private message, upload photos, and join thefan pages of celebrities like the Jonas Brothers andRyan Seacrest, which are updated via the celebritiesTwitter feeds.

As far as the social media experience goes, giantHelloparts from its mainstream counterpart by removingthe search for friends function. Children need toeither invite friends via an e-mail or print out a pagewith an invitation code to give them. Therefore, they

cant make friends with people who they dont know.

Skid-e Kids

Skid-e kids relies on staff moderators for most of itssecurity features: if a comment is flagged by a filterfor inappropriate language or disclosure of personallyidentifiable information, it is sent to humanmoderation; all photos are checked by moderators;users submit articles and stories for a written by yousection that are edited for inappropriate language andpersonal information before theyre posted; andinterest group pages are moderated.

Unlike most sites, parents and children both areencouraged to create profiles on the same network.Users can exchange messages, update their statuses,upload video (which needs to be approved before it isposted), and compete against each other for highscores on any of the free games on the site.Unfortunately most of these games are prefaced byads, and although they are advertised as educational,its hard to see how something like Powerpuffcoloring fits this description.

The advantage of this site, especially for olderchildren, is that much of the moderation is provided bthe site itself. Parents arent required to constantlycheck in or approve decisions, but can instead focus oninteracting with their children on the same network.

http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/
http://www%2Cmashable.com/category/youtubehttp://www%2Cmashable.com/category/youtubehttp://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://mashable.com/2010/10/11/social-networks-children/http://www%2Cmashable.com/category/youtubehttp://www%2Cmashable.com/category/youtube


5/12

5

Growing Up Online

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/

kidsonline/FRONTLINE on PBSreleased a new program

discussing how the

Internet is transformingchildhood.

iSAFE America

http://www.isafe.org/iSAFE is a non-profit

organization that offers

Internet Safety educationand materials for

students, teachers,parents, and law

enforcement.

StaySafe.orghttp://www.staysafe.org/

Wide range of information oncomputer, gaming and Internet safety.Materials for kids, teens and parents.

IkeepSafe

http://www.ikeepsafe.org/The Internet Keep Safe Coalition

group teaches basic rules of Internetsafety to children and parents.

Governors and/or first spousesformed this coalition in partnershipwith crime prevention organizations,law enforcement agencies,foundations and corporate sponsors.

WiredSafety

http://www.wiredsafety.org/

WiredSafety is an online safety,education and help group thatfocuses on assisting law enforcement

on preventing and investigatingcybercrimes education, providinginformation on online safety, privacy

and security.

Safety is No Game. Is Your Family Set?

Make a PACT Today!

http://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-

de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdf

A tool to help promote healthy andbalanced media use. From Microsoft

and National PTA.

Childnet International

http://www.childnet-int.org/A non-profit organization working

with others to help make the Internet

a fun and safe place for children.

Center for Media and Child Health

http://www.cmch.tv/

Conducts and advances scientificresearch on the effects of media onyoung minds and bodies; develops

and evaluates clinical interventions;and educates children, parents, andthe public on media and their effects

on the physical, mental, and socialhealth of all children.

Social Networking Safety tips for

Bebo, Facebook, MySpace andYouTube: http://buk.cc/cNwSP9

Recommended privacy settings foryoung teens -- and their parentshttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/

architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.html

Cross-Generational Dialogue on theEthics of Digital Lifehttp://bit.ly/9TZXRX

MySpace Safety for Parents &Teachershttp://bit.ly/MySpaceSafety101

Social Safetyhttp://www.socialsafety.org/

Tips from Microsoft on how tomanage your online reputation

http://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspx

Facebook Safety Resources for

Parents, Teachers & Teenshttp://www.debaird.net/

blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-

security-and-safety-resources-for-parents-teachers-teens.html

Tips forUsing Facebook with Youthhttp://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-

parents-teachers-using-facebook-with-

students.html

Facebook for Parents

http://facebookforparents.org/

Kids In Mind

http://www.kids-in-mind.com/Site fordetailed and completeinformation about movie content.

resources
http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://buk.cc/cNwSP9http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://facebookforparents.org/http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspxhttp://www.socialsafety.org/http://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://bit.ly/MySpaceSafety101http://bit.ly/MySpaceSafety101http://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://bit.ly/9TZXRXhttp://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://www.kids-in-mind.com/http://www.kids-in-mind.com/http://facebookforparents.org/http://facebookforparents.org/http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2009/09/tips-for-parents-teachers-using-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.debaird.net/blendededunet/2010/04/facebook-security-and-safety-http://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspxhttp://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspxhttp://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspxhttp://www.microsoft.com/protect/parents/cyberethics/reputation.aspxhttp://www.socialsafety.org/http://www.socialsafety.org/http://bit.ly/MySpaceSafety101http://bit.ly/MySpaceSafety101http://bit.ly/9TZXRXhttp://bit.ly/9TZXRXhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://thenetwork.typepad.com/architectureofideas/2010/02/from-private-to-public-building-a-teenagers-capacity-to-network-pt-1.htmlhttp://buk.cc/cNwSP9http://buk.cc/cNwSP9http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.cmch.tv/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://download.microsoft.com/download/d/1/8/d181ee58-de70-4484-936b-0e9161ccd6b2/PACT-Retail-12.14.07.pdfhttp://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.wiredsafety.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.ikeepsafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.staysafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.isafe.org/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/


6/12

6

Put the computer in a

common room not in thechilds bedroom.

Learn about the

technology. Ask your childto be your guide.

Talk with children/teens

about what they may andmay not do on line.

Set limits. Decide if, how

often and for how longyour child can use thetechnology devices.

Learn what your child uses

the computer or othertechnology for.

Teach children/teens that

not everything seen on the

Internet is either true orvaluable.

Get to know your childs

online friends as you wouldtheir offline friends.

Be open with children;

encourage them to come to

you if they encounter aproblem.

Learn about blocking,filtering and monitoring.

Realize these things cannotprotect children/teens from

all dangers in cyberspace.Use time controls, blocking,

filtering and or monitoring

software.

Be sensitive to your childs

concerns about privacy,

but also realize it is aparents responsibility toprotect their child.

How to Talk To a Teen Aboutthe Internet

Adapted from: www.cyberangels.org

First and foremost, be sure in yourresolve to listen to your teen, notjudge. Make sure you, as the parent,

are ready to hear ALL that your teen

may tell you.Communicate openly with

him/her. Start with

conversations, notinterrogations. It is vital to

open the doors ofcommunication with your

teen, so that they maycome to you without fear.

Offer your support in a

non-judgmental way withquestions such as, "You

seem botheredby something, isthere anything I

can do to help?"Offer to listen,"Would you like to talk

about something?" This

way, you open thatdoorway for them without

sounding as if you areaccusing, which will onlyserve to close the door.Be patient, it might take

once, twice or thrice! Yourteen may not respond rightaway. It may take some

time and coaxing to get him/her to

open up and discuss their situation orfeelings with you. Be patient and keeptrying, letting him/her know that you

care. Remember, just as this isn't easyfor you, it isn't easy for them either.

Validate and accept what your

teen says. It is essential that you takeyour teen seriously. No matter whatthey may say. Their concerns andfears, whether warranted or not to

you, are very real to them. Saying,"Well that's just silly, why are makingsuch a big deal out of this?" will cause

your teen to turn away. Acknowledge

their feelings with something like, "Ican understand how you would feelthat way." Take a moment and step out

of your parental shoes and step intohis/hers. How would you like someoneto respond to you?

Realize that you do not have total

control and power over your teenager:As they say, where there is a will thereis a way. If your response to your

child's concern is to eliminate, to takeaway, to deny you may inadvertentlycause your teen to rush full speed

ahead into a potentially dangeroussituation. However, even withoutironclad control, you have something

more powerful. You have influence.

Through communicating andempowering your teen, you can helphim/her to make the right

decision. The key here is, youallowed them to make thedecision, and you didn't

make it for them.

Set limits and boundaries together.Pulling the plug on your computer may

not be the best solution. It's a short-

term solution, with limited long-term

benefits. Sit down together and comeup with acceptable terms of usage.

Make sure that both you and your teen

understand and agree to the rules.Understand a new generation. Yes,

times have changed and will continueto do so. Our best defense is

education and understanding. Step

back for a moment and try toappreciate the challenges ourteenagers face in today's society. Each

generation has had its troubles. Butlet's face it, today's youth are stuck inthe middle of a confusing,

overwhelming, conflicting, fast-paced

and downright frightening world. Thedigital age in all its glory has openeda Pandora's Box for today's youth.

Parents play a vital role in givingteenagers the tools they need to besafe, to be smart, and to be healthy.

Internet&technology
http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.cyberangels.org/


7/12

7

Parent Education

Linkswww.guardyoureyes.org

Fellowship of religious

Jews, working to deal with

internet addiction. Tools

tab offers excellent

resources on technological

solutions and guidelines

for successful

implementation.

www.netsmartz411.org

Online resource for

answering questions about

Internet safety, computers,

and the Web.

www.GetGameSmart.com

Microsoft's campaign to provide

parents with tools and resources to

manage their children's gaming and

entertainment experiences.

www.cyberangels.org

CyberAngels is one of the first online

safety education programs online.

www.missingkids.com

www.ncmec.org

www.cybertipline.com

CyberTip hotline & official site for

current information on Missing and

Exploited Children, search for missing

children, submit child "sightings".

www.commonsensemedia.org

Read family-friendly reviews of media

and entertainment.

www.getnetwise.org

Be just "one click away" from the

resources they need to make

informed decisions about their and

their family's use of the Internet-

including How to videos.

www.projectsafechildhood.gov

Initiative guided by the U.S.

Department of Justice, Project Safe

Childhood.

www.mcgruff.org

McGruff the Crime Dog's Child

Safety Center.

Product Linkswww.internet-filter-

review.toptenreviews.com

2010 Internet filter and monitor &

parental control software reviews and

product comparisons.

www.webchaver.com

Excellent accountability and resource

information.

www.k9webprotection.com

Free Internet filtering and control

solution for the home.

www.internetsafety.com

www.mymobilewatchdog.com

Products that offers Parental Controls

for Computers and Smart Phones and

iPod Touch - Monitor your kid's IM,

text, email and calls and be alerted

by email about any unauthorized

contact with your child. Check with

cell phone companies to see what

they offer.

x3watch.com

Limited version of free accountability

software.

www.spectorsoft.com

SpectorPro and eBlaster excellent

accountability software with reliable

24/7 support.

www.opendns.com

Free network/router/or computer

based Internet navigation and

security solution.

Other Linkswww.netlingo.com

Access a complete online dictionary

of hundreds of regularly used email

chat acronyms.

www.familywatchdog.us !See if there are sexual offenders

living in your neighborhood.

resou

rces
http://www.cybertipline.com/http://www.ncmec.org/http://www.missingkids.com/http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.getgamesmart.com/http://www.netsmartz411.org/http://www.k9webprotection.com/http://www.webchaver.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://www.mcgruff.org/http://www.netsmartz411.org/http://www.projectsafechildhood.gov/http://www.familywatchdog.us/http://www.familywatchdog.us/http://www.netlingo.com/http://www.netlingo.com/http://www.opendns.com/http://www.spectorsoft.com/http://www.mymobilewatchdog.com/http://www.familywatchdog.us/http://www.familywatchdog.us/http://www.netlingo.com/http://www.netlingo.com/http://www.opendns.com/http://www.opendns.com/http://www.spectorsoft.com/http://www.spectorsoft.com/http://x3watch.com/http://x3watch.com/http://www.mymobilewatchdog.com/http://www.mymobilewatchdog.com/http://www.internetsafety.com/http://www.internetsafety.com/http://www.k9webprotection.com/http://www.k9webprotection.com/http://www.webchaver.com/http://www.webchaver.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/http://www.mcgruff.org/http://www.mcgruff.org/http://www.projectsafechildhood.gov/http://www.projectsafechildhood.gov/http://www.getnetwise.org/http://www.getnetwise.org/http://www.commonsensemedia.org/http://www.commonsensemedia.org/http://www.cybertipline.com/http://www.cybertipline.com/http://www.ncmec.org/http://www.ncmec.org/http://www.missingkids.com/http://www.missingkids.com/http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.cyberangels.org/http://www.getgamesmart.com/http://www.getgamesmart.com/http://www.netsmartz411.org/http://www.netsmartz411.org/http://www.guardyoureyes.org/http://www.guardyoureyes.org/


8/12

8

The Benefits of Technology

This information may make the

Internet, or mobile phones, or email

accounts all seem rather dangerous -

but technology is morally neutral and

can be a channel for comfort as well

as threats. The cell phone that carries

a threatening text message may alsocarry information and advice to an

anxious parent or a worried child.

Whilst technology can be used to

bully, the Internet also can be a

sanctuary for the victims of bullying

by masking their "differences" and

allowing them to be part of

communities beyond their local one.

The Problems

The digital age has seen the

development of new ways in which to

bully, slander and abuse. We are

now faced with bullying by email,

over the phone and by text message;

with the use of digital cameras and

camera phones to intrude on the

privacy of individuals; with so-called

'happy slapping' attacks - the filming

and sharing of physical attacks on

individuals by groups; the posting of

offensive websites; the impersonatingof individuals through hijacking email

accounts; abusive and threatening

behavior in chat rooms, on discussion

boards and through instant

messaging. We have also seen

reports of school reunion sites being

used to slander ex-pupils and

teachers alike. A Scottish secondaryschool had to take its chat room

offline due to aggressive bullying

activity (Edinburgh Evening News

29.3.06). Recently a phenomenon

called "bluejacking" (the sending of

anonymous text messages over short

distances using "Bluetooth" wireless

technology) has been reported. All

these examples of cyber-bullying may

be taking advantage of cutting edge

technology, but the motives of those

who are doing this and the excuses

they make for their behavior are age-

old.

Technology allows the user to

bully anonymously or from anunknown location, 24 hours a

day, 7 days a week.

No place, not even abedroom, provides sanctuary

from the intrusion of a

threatening text message or anabusive e-mail.

Cyber-bullying leaves no

physical scars so it is, perhaps,less evident to a parent or

teacher, but it is highly

intrusive and the hurt it causes

can be very severe.

Young people are particularlyadept at adapting to new

technology, an area that canoften seem a closed world to

adults. For example, the

numerous acronyms used byyoung people in chat rooms

and in text messages (POS -Parents Over Shoulder, TUL -

Tell You Later) make it difficult

for adults to recognizepotential threats.

Cyberbu

llying

Information on this page from the Anti-Bullying Network, Great Britain


9/12

9

A Code of Conduct

Here are some points that could be

included in the code of conduct that

you discuss and agree with young

people. Use these points to help you

start the discussion, but aim to end up

with a small number (up to five or so)

of short statements that are suitable

for the age of the users.

If you feel you are being bullied by

email, text or online, do talk to

someone you trust.

Never send any bullying or

threatening messages. Anything you

write and send could be read by an

adult.

Serious bullying should be reported

to the police - for example threats of

a physical or sexual nature.

Keep and save any bullying emails,

text messages or images.

If you can, make a note of the time

and date bullying messages or

images were sent, and note any

details about the sender.

Why not log into a chatroom with a

different user ID or nickname? That

way the bully won't know who you

are. You could change your mobile

phone number and only give it out

to close friends.

Contact the service provider (mobile

phone company, your internet

provider) to tell them about the

bullying. They may be able to track

the bully down.

Use blocking software - you canblock instant messages from certain

people or use mail filters to block

emails from specific email

addresses.

Don't reply to bullying or

threatening text messages or emails-

this could make matters worse. Italso lets the bullying people know

that they have found a 'live' phone

number or email address. They may

get bored quite quickly if you ignore

them.

Don't give out your personal detai

online - if you're in a chatroom,

watch what you say about where

you live, the school you go to, you

email address etc. All these things

can help someone who wants to

harm you build up a picture about

you.

Don't forward abusive texts or

emails or images to anyone. You

could be breaking the law just by

forwarding them. If they are about

you, keep them as evidence. If the

are about someone else, delete

them and don't reply to the sender

Don't ever give out passwords to

your mobile or email account.

Remember that sending abusive orthreatening messages is against the

law.

FACT SHEET

For an additional factsheet on cyberbullying:

http://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_P

revention_Response_Fact_She

et.pdf

Information on this page from the Anti-Bullying Network, Great Britain
http://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdfhttp://www.cyberbullying.us/Cyberbullying_Identification_Prevention_Response_Fact_Sheet.pdf


10/12

10

How Are Teens

Cyberbullied?

Being a victim of cyberbullying can bea common and painful experience.Some youth who cyberbully

Pretend they are other peopleonline to trick others

Spread lies and rumors about

victims

Trick people into revealingpersonal information

Send or forward mean textmessages

Post pictures of victims withouttheir consent

When teens were asked whythey think others cyberbully,81 percent said that

cyberbullies think its funny.Other teens believe thatyouth who cyberbully

Dont think its a big deal

Dont think about theconsequences

Are encouraged byfriends

Think everybodycyberbullies

Think they wont getcaught

How Do Victims

React?

Contrary to what cyberbulliesmay believe, cyberbullying is a bigdeal, and can cause a variety ofreactions in teens. Some teens havereacted in positive ways to try toprevent cyberbullying by

Blocking communication with thecyberbully

Deleting messages withoutreading them

Talking to a friend about thebullying

Reporting the problem to anInternet service provider orwebsite moderator

Many youth experience a variety ofemotions when they are cyberbullied.Youth who are cyberbullied reportfeeling angry, hurt, embarrassed, orscared. These emotions can causevictims to react in ways such as

Seeking revenge on the bully

Avoiding friends and activities

Cyberbullying back

Some teens feel threatened becausethey may not know who iscyberbullying them. Althoughcyberbullies may think they areanonymous, they can be found. If youare cyberbullied or harassed andneed help, save all communication

with the cyberbully and talk to aparent, teacher, law enforcementofficer, or other adult you trust.

How Can I Prevent

Cyberbullying?

Teens have figured out ways toprevent cyberbullying. Follow in thefootsteps of other quick-thinkingteens and

Refuse to pass alongcyberbullying messages

Tell friends to stop cyberbullying

Block communication withcyberbullies

Report cyberbullying to a trustedadult

You can also help preventcyberbullying by

Speaking with other students, aswell as teachers and schooladministrators, to develop rules

against cyberbullying

Raising awareness of thecyberbullying problem in yourcommunity by holding anassembly and creating fliers togive to younger kids or parents

Sharing NCPCs anti-cyberbullying message with

friends

Dont forget that eventhough you cant see a

cyberbully or the bullysvictim, cyberbullying causesreal problems. If youwouldnt say it in person,dont say it online. Deletecyberbullying. Dont write it.Dont forward it.

What Else Can I Do To

Stay Cyber-safe?

Remember that the Internet

is accessed by millions ofpeople all over the world, notjust your friends and family.While many Internet usersare friendly, some may wantto hurt you. Below are someways to stay cyber-safe:

Never post or share yourpersonal information online (thisincludes your full name, address,telephone number, school name,parents names, credit cardnumber, or Social Securitynumber) or your friends personal

information.

Never share your Internetpasswords with anyone, exceptyour parents.

Never meet anyone face-to-facewhom you only know online.

Talk to your parents about whatyou do online.

From National Crime Prevention Council -http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying
http://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullyinghttp://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullyinghttp://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullyinghttp://www.ncpc.org/cyberbullying


11/12

11

Chat Dangerhttp://

www.chatdanger.comA website all about thepotential dangers of

interactive online

services like chat,instant messaging,

email and mobiles.

Stop Text Bully http://www.stoptextbully.com

Resources on thiswebsite include a Top

10 Tips poster for

young people and aschool resource pack

'Putting U in thePicture'.

Childnet International

http://www.childnet-int.orgPlenty of advice and teachers'resources. Look for the 'Prank or

Pain' link through their 'Know it All'project link.

Internet Watch Foundationhttp://www.iwf.org.uk/Support website with information onfiltering, protection, and an area to

report illegal content.

Kidsmart

http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/Part of the Childnet stable ofwebsites, dealing with Internet safety

programs for schools, young people

and parents.

Cyberbully http://cyberbully.orgContains links to useful online

documents such as a guide to cyber-bullying and an educator's guide.

"Staying Safe in a Wired World: a

parent's guide to Internet safety" by

Rob Nickel. A recently publishedbook about most of the technologies

used on the Internet and instructionson how to keep children safe while incyberspace. Available from Amazon.

Yahoo's Parents' Guide to Safer

Surfing. http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/

www.ncpc.org provides informationabout stopping cyberbullying beforeit starts.

www.stopbullyingnow.com hasinformation about what you can doto stop bullying.

Stop Cyberbullying Before It Starts

(PDF) provides useful information forparents. http://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/

cyberbullying.pdf

Cyberbullying.us provides

cyberbullying research, stories,cases, downloads, fact sheets, tips

and strategies, news headlines, ablog, and a number of other helpful

resources on their comprehensivepublic service website.

www.stopcyberbullying.org has a funquiz to rate your online behavior,

information about why some peoplecyberbully, and how to stop yourselffrom cyberbullying.

www.wiredsafety.com provides

information about what to do if youare cyberbullied.

resourc

es
http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.ncpc.org/topics/cyberbullyinghttp://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://www.amazon.co.uk/http://www.wiredsafety.com/http://www.wiredsafety.com/http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/http://www.cyberbullying.us/http://www.cyberbullying.us/http://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.ncpc.org/resources/files/pdf/bullying/cyberbullying.pdfhttp://www.stopbullyingnow.com/http://www.stopbullyingnow.com/http://www.ncpc.org/topics/cyberbullyinghttp://www.ncpc.org/topics/cyberbullyinghttp://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://uk.docs.yahoo.com/parents_guide/http://www.amazon.co.uk/http://www.amazon.co.uk/http://cyberbully.org/http://cyberbully.org/http://cyberbully.org/http://cyberbully.org/http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/http://www.kidsmart.org.uk/http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.iwf.org.uk/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.childnet-int.org/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.stoptextbully.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/http://www.chatdanger.com/


12/12

children in a digital age: a parents guide

Documents