Chinese Proverbs

terry chay

PHP|tek 2009, Closing Keynote

2009-05-23T11:30-0500

fix bulletsensure quote marksfix builds

How it begins...

look up what the chinese invented first

maybe some images of each

CIO Magazine

WTF is a CIO?

Title of CIO Magazine article

programmatic inefficiency

% of businesstotal loss to

business

Enterprise

Web

10% 1% 0.1%

10% 100% 10%

Rails Developer

Rails DeveloperRails Developer Rails Developer

Rails Developer

Rails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails Developer Rails Developer

Rails DeveloperRails Developer

Rails DeveloperRails Developer

Rails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails Developer Rails Developer

Rails Developer

Rails Developer

Rails Developer

Rails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails Developer Rails DeveloperRails Developer

Rails DeveloperRails DeveloperRails Developer

Rails Developer

You’re Fired!

not good enough to be good at your job

Problems

The World is Flat

They say if you repeat [Terry Chay]’s name out loud six times before a mirror in a darkened room all your commit messages are replaced with profanity.

—Paul Reinheimer

The World is Flat

Actually it’s the opposite…

The World is Spiky.

If someone tells you that you are one in a billion, there are a thousand people just like you in China

—Ancient Chinese ProverbConfucius 孔夫子 (551 BC – 479 BC)

Our economy in a single word…

The economy

Chinese are scary

feeling of awe

harsh conditions

rain-drenched, sun stroke

15 hours a day tai-chi

no time for pee breaks

outsourcing (New York Times, December 9, 2005)

Zhuangzi 莊子 (4th century BC)

The first person whose job needs to be outsource is the manager that made the outsourcing decision in the first place. Someone in India can make that same decision at a fraction of the price

—Ancient Chinese Proverb

4-Hour WorkWeek

Add graphic for arbitrageAdd quote about what an ahole timothy ferriss is

Rails book

graphic for rails booktraffic graph, them vs. me

Ed Finkler

it’s not about being good enough

The people in the summer games are really good at what they do (all 2008 of them)

the only thing that separates you from them is you

find out how many performers in the games

Opportunity

Web market share

Chris Shiflett story

4 million PHP developers (zend)

40%

60%

PHP Everything else

PHP rock/hard place

Front end: Ajax eliminates templates

Memcache eliminates Database bottleneck (Ahmdahl’s Law)

0.5%

57.1%

28.9%

13.6%

NIST NVD 2006

php applicationsphp applications (remote file inclusion)non-phpphp language

Security

6604 total entries

2803 PHP-application

895 remote file inclusion related (allow_url_fopen)

~33 PHP language related

Tim Bray on PHP…

Whenever I use PHP, I think…

Laozi 老子 (6th century B.C.)

“If you want soul destroying, try working in porn.”

—Ancient Chinese Proverb

Recession = Opportunity

Recession

Churn is the opportunity

We need to create real value

The difference between you and the thousand Chinese just like you is you.

Mythical Man-MonthSoftware as Construction

vs… other models

partionable+training+communicationunpartionable

Make the slide and builds

First consider something like painting a fence: everything is partionable (man-month).

…add a constant time for training.

…add communication cost: n(n-1)/2.

Compare to the unpartionable (single man)

Adding people to a late project makes it later!

Solutions

high-concept, high-touch

Design (Dieter Rams@Braun)

innovated (not copied)

useful (optimize utility)

aesthetic (inspires)

understood (self-explanatory)

unobtrusive (tools, not decorations)

honest (don’t manipulate)

durable (not trendy, no waste)

thorough (to details)

How PHP is different

Scalable

Cheap

Pragmatic

get elephant images

PHP Community (Star War)

Who do you want to be?

“Coding these web apps involves a lot of swearing—a lot of blood, sweat, and swear.”

—terry chay

tychay@php.net

http://terrychay.com/blog

fuck thsi shit, other quote person

“Fuck this shit”—Sun Tzu 孫子

(722–481 BC)