cixous_portrait of dora
TRANSCRIPT
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8/10/2019 Cixous_Portrait of Dora
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together a young cast; to embody, that is, the interior
of
the
characters, to embody the force of the transgression; it wasn't of the
slightest importance whether Nobbs was beautiful or ugly. I
preferred not to approach the question in the usual way, where,
starting from their appearance, actors express the inner life
of
characters according to the theatre's psychological laws, I chose the
opposite approach: starting from their interior life,
to
make their
exterior body plausible. And here we come back to the problem
raised by Nobbs: the costume makes the body believable. Neithef
Susannah York nor Juliet Berta
was
physically Nobbs; they made
her plausible, though, by their acting, their costume, and their
feeling for the imaginary. This is why I could not, either, do what
Moore did and show Albert as a corpse; no, I just could not bring
myself to do her that violence. Albert is there, sitting on her chair,
the chair
that
has become far more than just her chair. It is her
p/ace a place she has come
to
know by heart in
all
its details: its
consistency, colour, polish and scratches. I could
not
take away her
disguise when she was dead, as people 'take away' a corpse from a
house in order to bury it: only her hands, which had been polishing
shoes, remain suspended in midair.
(,
26
.
Portrait
of
Dora
by
';1
,
.
Helene
Cixous
Translated from the French y
Anita Barrows
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:-:-i
Portrait 01
Dora
wasfirst
performed
inLondon
atthe
NewEnd
\
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II
J
\-
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"
,)
!
Theatreon
the
23rd
May1979withthefollowingcast:
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,1'i.
CarolineLangrishe VOICEOF
THE
PLAY. Theseeventsappear,likeashadow,in\ '
i
DORA
Terence
Bayler
dreams,oftenwithsuch lucidity that
one
seemsactuallyto
FREUD
~
NeilPhelps
grasp
them.Butdespitethateffect,they
evade
any
definitive
/5
,
~ , ~
I
MRB.
clarification;
and
ifwe proceed
without
particularskill
and
j,
GerardFalconetti
:t
MRK.
caution,
wefindourselvesunableto
determine
whether
or
SheilaGish
t;.
MRSK.
notsuchan incidenthasreallytakenplace. . . """"='"
I;
,
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DORA.
in a tone
of
voice that shatters the silence abruptly.
I'
I
somewhere between a threat
nd
a demand):
If you
darekiss
I :
me,I'llslap
you
in theface!
Directt:d
and
designedbySimoneBenmussa.
Produced
by
BuddyDalton
andRichard
Jackson.
DORA. with a cajoling inflection. suddenly inhis ear) Goahead,
I.
just
youdare! I'llslap
you!
, .
FREUD. Yes,
you
willtell
me
about it.Inallitsdetails.
L
) ~ (
\
A'
DORA. in a faraway voice)
"I f
youlike "
;...
) '
in an alert voice) If you like,
Doctor.Andthen?
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c
,
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FREUD. Youwilltellme
about
the
sceneby
the
lake,inallits
..-"'" ' . -
~ l - ~ ~ ~
c-
.
".:
details.
I:
\)
,- ';-').:.
.
DORA. WhydidIkeepsilentfor
the
firstfewdays
afterthe
:
:
scene
by
thelake?
I.:
FREUD.
Towhomdo youthink
youshouldaskthatquestion?
DORA.
Andthen
whydid
I
suddenly
tell
myparentsabout
it?
t
V
. .,
FREUD. Whydoyou
think?
, .
...
DORA. doesn
'(
reply, but recites
in
a dreamy voice) WhenPapa
wasgetting
readyto
leave,ItoldhimIwasn'tgoing
to
stay
on
without
him.Why
did
Itell
mymother
whathadhappened,
so thatshe
could
repeat it
to my
father?
MR.
B.
Mr.
K.
hasalways
been
very
kind
to
mydaughter,ever
..
:
sinceour
two
familiesestablished
the
closefriendshipthat
haslasted nowformanyyears.Whenhewasthere,Mr. K
It .
wouldgo forwalkswithher.Withanalmostpaternal
affection.
Although
shewas
only
achild. Hegave
her
presents
f;
and
lookedafterher
with
an
almostpaternalaffection.Dora
herselfwasparticularlyattached
toour
friend's
two
young
children,
and
tookmarvellouscareof
them.
Shecouldhave
. .
taken
the
placeof
theirmother.Two
yearsago,
my
daughter
andI
wentto
visit the
K'sattheirsummerhomeon theshore
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of one of our mountain lakes.Dorawasto remainwith
themforseveralweeks.
DORA. I'm not staying,I'm leavingwithmy father .
MR. B. But the lake
and
themountain airwoulddo wondersfor
your nerves.I'm surethat inafewdays
DORA.
I'm
leaving
with you. Abruptly
threatening) I'llnever
forgiveyou!
MR. B. 1don't understandyou!
DORA. Youunderstandme,but you're not honest.There's
somethingdeceitful
about
you.Y
ou
think
only of your
ownsatisfaction.You
don't
understand.Iam not honest.
Ireproachmyselfforbeingunfair.Give me abracelet.
(pause)
My
fatheris agenerousman.
He
likes
to do
nice
thingsforpoor Mrs. K. Atthesametime,heis generous
towardhiswifeandhisdaughter.
My
fatherneverbuysa
pieceof jewelryforme without buyingone as wellfor my
mother
andforMrs.
K.
MR. B. Doraisstillachild,
and
Mr. K. treatsherlikeachild.He
wouldsendherflowers,hewouldbuy
her
littlegifts.She
waslikea mother
to
the children,sheheardtheirlessons,
she took walkswiththem.Theirown mother couldnot
havebeenmore tender
or
attentive to their needs.
DORA. IneverlovedMr. K.,Iwasnevercrazy about him.I
mighthavelovedhim,but sincethe scene
by
thelake,its
out of the
question.There
had
beentalk
of
divorcebetween
Mr. andMrs. K. Ilookedafter the children.Whenmyfather
visitedMrs. K.,1knew that thechildrenwouldn't be home.
Iliked
to
walkin
the
directionIknewthey had
taken
and
catchthemup.
MR. K. Dora is not achildanymore.
MRS.
K.
Dorais achild,whois interestedonlyinsex.Whenshe
stayedat
our
housebythelake,sheused
to
sneak
off
and
read
"The
Psychology
of
Love"
by
Montegazza,andother
suchthings,which excited her.Sheadores me. Shehasfaith
in me.She'sachildwhoarouses mixedemotions; you can't set
storebyeverythingshesays,herreadinggoes
to her
head.
MR.
B.
Shehasprobably "imagined" the wholescene
by
the lake.
DORA. Doyou hearhim'!
FREUD. Yes.
30
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If
DORA. Thereis adoor inViennathroughwhicheveryone
,\ may passexcept me.OftenIdream
that
I'vecome to this
door,anditopens,andIcangoin.Youngmenand young
womenare nooding through,and1could easilyslip into
thecrowds:
but
Idon't do
it.
howeverIcan't keepmyself
awayfrom this
door-forever,
Iapproachit,Ilingerin
t:
r
front
of
it,
but
I
don't
do
it.I
can't
bringmyself
to
go
throughit,Iamfull
of
memoriesanddespair,andthe ,:>0
J
strangething
is that
Icouldgothroughitbutsomething
is
g-c
,
holdingmeback,
I'm
beyond all fearbut I
don't
goin,if v)
) r-
I
don't
goin Idie,ifIwanted
to
see Mr.K., but ifPapa
c--;
sawme,
but
Idon't want to seehim,but ifPapasaw me see
himhewould kill me,Icould see himjust once,and that
wouldbe the lasttime.Then
MRS.
K. (with mocking laughter) I'vealwaystoldhim the whole
thingwaswrappedup.
DORA. Then
nothing.Nothingatall. .
As
soonas I
understood Mr.
K'sintentions,I
cut
himoff,I J
slappedhim,andIranaway.IranawayIslappedhimI
stopped
himshort.I
understood
what
he'd
said.
rW
THE VOICE
OF THE
PLAY. Thisinitial
account
maybecompared
' to
anunnavigablecurrent, acurrent whosecoursewould
(., nowbeobstructed byrocks,
and
nowdivided
by
sandbars.
FREUD. Ihappen to be acquaintedwithMr. K.Heisstillayoung
man,witha rather strikingappearance. Mr. B., the father,was
arefinedandwell-to-doman,a
tender
fatherandapatient
husband.Inever
knew
Dora'smother.The
father
wasvery
attached
to
hisdaughter.Eachtimehewasquestioned
about
herhealth,tearscame
to
hiseyes.
DORA.
My mother meansnothing
to
him.
MR.
B.
Youmusthaveimaginedit!Amanlike Mr. K. is incapable
of suchintentions!
DORA.
(beside herself) Imusthave
"imagined"
itt Hesaid
"You
know,mywifemeansnothing
to me." As
soon
as
Iunder
stoodwhathewasafter,Islappedhimandranaway.
his next
event
is
performed
on the side.
As soonas Mrs. K. had understood whatPapawanted.she
shuthim up, slappedhim,andranaway.Sheslappedhim.
Andyou, you, you saythat I"imagined" it Now choose
Choose
31
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MR. B. (shouts) Stop shouting!
DORA. Her
or
me!
MR. K..
I
never made the slightest gesture
that
could be inter
preted in such a way.
For
a year 1sent her flowers, I treated
her like my own daughter. Mr. B., who
is
known for his
discretion where women are concerned, should be well
aware that my attentions
towards
his daughter had no
ulterior motive.
1 DORA. Answer me! Answer me!
DORA.
It
wasn't exactly on the shore
of the
lake.lt was in the
forest. 1 had understood Mr. K's intentions
for
quite some
time. During
our
walk, he had rolled a cigarette.
"
~
during which a
l a s h b a c ~ t-A
scene-DORA at age fourteen is c.
;
)_""':7.
performed by t ~ e door near rhe
c,
staircfjN
..
DORA.
lvery
morning when
I wake-
up,
I
smell smoke. It's always
0
the same.
I
don't
o p ~ n
my eyesk
I
sniff, and there he
IS.
,2..,:",;
DORA. When
I
went
into
the shop, there was a faint smell
of
smoke.
Mr. K.
was alone. Mrs.
K.
and my
mother
were
late. It was nearly time for
the
parade.
1(
FREUD. Where there's smoke,
there's
fire.
DORA.
Mr. K..
and my father were
both
heavy smokers. Like
you.
I
also smoked by
the
lake. He had rolled me a cigarette.
He smelled
of
smoke.
I can't
stand
the
smell
of
smoke.
FREUD. And?
~ 6 : ' : l ' ; " " " ' 1 1 " ' ' ' ' ' ' ... ~ .....I
C'
-;:.
r
Yemember
that
the
door that
led
DORA.
And
. . .
nothing. Just
that.
The door.
(
from
the
shop
to
the flat was
open,
and
I
smelt the smoke,
JORA.
I
can't
stand intimate conversations.
f '
and Mrs. K's perfume, mixed .: : : -
MR.
B. My daughter has had a chronic respiratory disturbance
together. When the parade was I since
the
age
of
eight. She has always been very nervous, I
just about
to
pass, he
a s k e ~
me \ very frail. At one time her health caused me a good deal
to wait for him
. . . . to
walt.
for him.
FREUD. Go on. Go on.
Go
on.
....
..
DORA. He asked me . . . .
To
wait for him, when it was
almost time,
.
ilence.
.,1:
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FREUD. And?
DORA. There is a door. That leads
to
the stairway
to
the floor
(..
above; there. While he was lowering the shades,
I
waited for
.,
him. There was a smell
. . . .
that I recognized.
;;
" .
FREUD. Yes. And then ?
1f l . A ~ ' ? ...
CT.
I:.
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._
-
DORA. He came back, and then,
.
\.
and so, instead
of
going
out
the
open
door,
he drew me close
to
.
him, and he kissed me on the
"
, ~ I "
lips. And then
I
felt such an
intense disgust,
I
hated him
k fl.
with all my soul,
I
was revolted,
~ ~ j
tore myself away from hIm,
...
.
,.
violently,
I
can still feel
it
now,
t
I
i I
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,
:
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t
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.
,
... :,1
today.
I
felt it so intensely.
,.,--.
. .
~
I still feel
that
kiss, and the pressure
of
that embrace; his lips'
were very wet. Here,
on
my chest, and all the way through
to
my back.
I
ran in front
of
him,
I
brushed past him, past that
man.
1
tore
myself away from him,
I
raced,
I
looked back at him,
I raced towards the stairs,
brushing past
that
man
(I
thought, "I'm brushing past
this
man"),
toward the stairs, 1 1
-r
and, from there, toward the
t ~
door of the
house.--
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en
'
of
concern.
.
FR
..
: EUD.
And her mother?
> . .
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MR.
B. The relations between my
WIfe
and my daughter are
-
rather strained.
My
wife doesn't mean very much
to
me.
:..:
(
"""
Unfortunately. She is not an educated woman. She has no
understanding of her children's aspirations. Dora naturally
favoured me.
I
have been seriously
ill
myself.
I
have
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little
doubt
that her feelings for me were increased by what I
DORA
leaves. Footsteps are heard
~ t J
went through.
\..?
on the staircase, running foot-
steps. She
stops
on the staircase.
~ : I
DORA. When he was ill, Mrs.
K.
supposedly saved his life. She has
an eternal right
to
his gratitude. When
I
was
ten
years
Old,
my
DORA. It's
dark here
....
I.
father had a detached retina. the doctors told him to stay in
: i
MR. K. (whispers)
Wait for me, let
me
lower
the
shades and then
. .; .
a darkened room.
I
liked
to
keep him company
in
the dark.
He
I'm yours.
l'
would hold me in his arms and kiss me.
I
myself
took
charge
i
,.
,
of
seeing that the curtains were always drawn.
DORA. (Dora whispers, a torrent o words. What is lnsaid, what
_ ~ ) is
lost, in the
body
between bodies) No point opening. It's
. ,
MR.
B.
The migraines and the attacks
of
nervous coughing
always open. I can open. Not open.
That
man had beautiful
f1
appeared when she was about twelve.
(l r e m e m b e r ~ e -
teeth, like a bracelet
of
pearls. I can ope n a bit. And why
i
;
"
,
it was at
that
time that my friend K. persuaded me to consult
wouldn't you
open?
That
which
is
open can be not open.
That
you). Th e coughing fits sometimes last
as
long
as
three or
~ . . . . . : ..
which has happened can have not happened.
four weeks. But what distresses
me
most are the spells
of
f "
aphonia.
MR. K.
Nothing is irrevocable.
Why
not?
~
, I
DORA. But their relations became intimate only after
Mrs. K.
took
DORA. (whispers) I still feel like I'm there. I have
trouble
over as sick nurse. breathing. I've already heard someone behind the door.
:' j
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Leaning with all his weight.
It
was a new sensation . . . (abrupt
My
mother
stayed
out of the room,
because she has no love
return to he r normal voice)
But-the thing
that didn't
happen.
,;1
J
for my father.
My
mother is a stupid woman
. j
FREUD. How did you know it was
a
man? Since he was behind the
, I
MR.B. What
I
feel for Mrs. K. is a deep and sincere affection.
door.
Dora, who
is
very close
to
me, felt a sort
of
idol worship for
;J
her. DORA. (whispers) Who was leaning against
the door
with all his
, I
weight. I felt his penis stiffen. Who told
you
that?
a
pause)
. i
DORA. Idol worship. I had never seen such a beautiful, elegant
It's
Mrs.
K. who told
me. While I combed her hair, she read
woman. How I loved to look at her! I drank in her every
,
books
to me that
no
one
has ever read.
f silence) ,..
movement! I
thought
she knew how
to
do
everything
that
t-.Ii (. ,
women are supposed to do. I loved
to
bring flowers into
She performs this to one side.
'- ' L --
, : , .)
him. One could wait,
if
one
.
t'
liked. I had seen him in a dream.'
:0
(shout directed at MR. B)
Everything! Do you hear?
---?>
'I
7
He was a gentle, attractive man
o
MR. B. (defends himself. very aggressively) An extremely nervous
-C-;'
who
didn't
take his eyes off
of
~
H
woman herself, Mrs. K. has in me her only friend. Given the
me. But
it
wasn't him.
Is
that
state
of
my health and the delicacy
of
her nature, it goes
him now, behind
the
door? One
without saying
that
all that exists between us is a very warm
never knows. I ope n
it jUst
a bit.
friendship. Dora's animosity is unfoun ded. Her irritability,
There's a ma n in the shadows.
Wl
her suicidal thoughts! She obviously gets all
that
from her
I
don't
see his head. He stoops
f
mother.
down. I understand what he's
after. I push back the door panel.
DORA. Why did I never tell this story to anyone?
, .
.
I have
no doubt
that he intends
t'.
FREUD. Except
to
me.
to
push the
door
open. And he
presses against the panel.
. i
I feel his erection. He leans.
t
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Toolate.He'sgoing
to
force T' /
norme.I'minahurry
to
get
r : ~
\"
openthe door.Hisdecision h a s . . - - ~ / :
there.I'mnotsureI'llmake
. '1
forcedit openalread},..,Atttnreeps
it,despitethefactthatmy d-
t'
me fromc1osing)e1he door
is
);
strengthis increasingevery ,
heavy,andI leanmyweight !
minute.
While
I'mholding
h i m ~ C c : l . .C 1,\ ' : '7
.S
I
!
'.
~
!f
t
,
againstit.I squeezemyself
!
againstme,
I
tum him halfway
v ';;$. ..::. :;, . ...\ ..,
behindthepanel,
on
theleft.I
roundandIgrabhisheadfrom
smellsmoke.Howsimple
and
l ~
therear,myarmencircleshis
1':.
\l
mortalit all is
It's
Him
or
me!
foreheadandhisskullpresses
I'
~ - ; .
.'
Inthedarkness
I
amdark.The
I, r
' ) againstmychest; I holdhim
imaginaryfleshthatswellsthe
I.
!:1
. tightandslit his throat.The
_fi
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doordisgustsme.Therewillbe
knifehasbecomeonewithmy
r
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amurder.It's alaw.That'sakey.
hand. Howhardit
is
tocut his
.........
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Onewillhave to killtheother
.:k
t(
throat. I don't pushvery hard,
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whokillsthefirstwhowants
to
,,r--
because I'mholdinghimclose
to
~ ;
,
. )
- - ; l . . ~ _ \
killwhowants
to
bekilled?I
\
me.1slithisthroat,Ipullthe
..
: ; ; , : > /
?
wantto killhim.He knowsit.
knifeacrossthewidth of his
'I 'i , .
I
. ,
J
He wantsto killme.
I
knowit.
neck;but I don't cut alltheway -('
. . . . . --- '
through
to the
back.Foralong 1-
A
moment
agoIwouldhave
timeafterward I stillfeel the , , ,
likedhimto killme.Whokills
Ii
resistance
of
histhroat.
As
t
e?
The
onewhokillsmeisthe
thoughIwerestilldoingit.I ,
Li1 oneI want.Ifeellike.Onecan
feelthedensity
of
thatresistance, I '
remainforalongtimewithout
~ :
I
I
wasusingmylefthand,and
I ,..-- I : .
moving,andthenonehas
to
.
move.Killme! Kill me!Killme!
pulledstraightacrossfromle ft
.toright,inasinglestroke. It ..' , .,
..
!
It's solong!That manwho's
takesalot
of
pressure,it'slike
- - - '
.
;'
behindthedoor,I don't see
.
him.He'satallman,he'sstill
.----'
openingatin. His suffering .
";;;;-
J
'\
makesme
ill. I
hadaterrible(
/'
young.BecauseI wanthim.He
w
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I
21
DORA. Ian
immedia te stream associations in a very
low but
.
abrupt voice, with violent
outbursts
on the words
between
quotation marks)
I ll
write a letter
it will be
hesitant.
It will
Itj
i
start
with
these words:
"You
have killed me." And I'll write
"You, my
dear, have killed
me."
Then I ll
write another
letter
on very thin paper, tissue paper, that will
start
with these
words,
"That's
what
you wanted."
I ll leave it
ambiguous, for
l:
him to complete himself." Because I don't know what he
I
:
wanted. However, I'm "the on!!" who's dead. My body is
I
,
buried. In
the
forest. It's dark
there.
I have no voice.
FREUD. Tell me
about
the letter.
DORA. (almost inaudible) What letter?
.
'
MR. B. I found a letter
on
the desk. It was inside her desk. It said
that she couldn't bear to live anymore. "This is what you all
.
wanted," she said, and she told us goodbye. I didn't think she
would actually kill herself,
but
I was shocked. A few days later,
t
.
after an insignificant argument,
she
had a fainting spell, for
the
.v
t,.J
first
time.
That frightened me, of course.
I ,
r
DORA.
How
did
they
find
that
letter?
It
was
locked
inside
my
desk.
t .
FREUD. Is your desk locked?
p
DORA. I don't know. Does anyone besides me have a key?
FREUD. Who has
the
keys?
t:
MR. B. On her desk. It was a rough draft. I worried
about
it
Jnl'ticularly
after her
fainting spell.
,.
,
DORA.
lin a pained staccato voice) You
don't
love
me!
You
think
~ ; j .
.
I don't see through you? You're abandoning m e ~
You love her more than you love me! I
warrf'nothing
from you
f
.
do you
hear?
Nothing!
.
You make me sick
You
think you can buy me? You think
you
can sell me?
;' 1
he screams. MR. B. is afraid, and tries
to
stop her.
MR. B.
(in a hurried voice)
Dora, Dora, Dora, my dear, my love,
my sweet child
Come. Come now,
come.
f1
DORA. You have no idea how I despise
that
woman! When she's
dead, I'U marry you.
FREUD. What was the argument about?
t
r
MR.
B.
I
don't
remember anymore. I
had
just returned
from some
;'
38
f
t I I . I I f ' I r : ~ 1 I t ' r ~ ~
...
n'" . ~ ~ . ' ' ' ~ ' ' ' ~ ~ ~ ' ~ : 1 ~ : ' :
.
journey. She seemed tired. I remember I had just given her
a pearl
bracelet.
{:
DORA. At
one
time I
quite
liked jewelry,
but
[ never wear it
anymore. When I was living at the K's, she used
to
like
to
show me her jewelry. She loaned me her pearls, she told me
they were
more
becoming to me than they were to her.
]
.
FREUD. What was your attitude toward Mrs K. before the
incident?
I,
DORA. I don't know. Normal.
I'm sure that the jewelry my father gave me was chosen by'
;
her. I recognized her
taste.
My father bought me jewelry, ct::rr
especially pearls. Like the ones I saw
at
Mrs. K's
I
pause}
She used to say to me
. . .
When I was combing her hair.
Me. Standing behind her.
The whiteness . . . of her
body.
The
characters change places, as in a ballet.
(
"'JJ4.R.
K.
(in a voice
that
sounds as though it's coming over a
telephone) I am prepared
to
meet you face
to
face,
to
clear up
all these misunderstandings. Dora is nothing
but
a child as
far as
I'm
concerned. You
know
what respect I have for
you
and your daughter. Didn't
she
live in our house? And
in
the
greatest friendship
with
my wife?
MRS. K.
My
pet, you have no right to criticize your father's
behaviour; he
is
a very generous man. You know how much.
your father cares for you. He
can't
even speak to me about
you without tears coming into his eyes.
MR.
B. '"
every reason in the world, rather,
to
be grateful to
Mrs. K.
MR.
K. . . Always perfect confidence in her.
MR.
B.
A man like Mr. K. could not have presented any threat
to
her.
MRS.
K. He's a man with very coarse appetites: he
doesn't know
what a real woman is. Men are often like that: they think of
nothing but their own satisfaction. Not
your
father
Poor
man he was so unhappy at
that
point that he wanted
to
commit
suicide. I was seized with a premonition, I ran
to
the woods,
I found him. I pleaded with him. I managed to make him
renounce his terrible decision. To preserve him for his family.
,)nORA.
Always in white. Milky tulles. Crepe. I saw HER. The
39
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:
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i
; "';
whitenessof herbody.especially
her
back.Afaintlustre:
..
. 1
pearly.
MR.K. Iampreparedto meetwithyou immediatelytoclearup
thismisunderstanding.Ayounggirlwhoreadssuchbooks
i '
cannotcommand therespectof aman.When shewas
I.
; d
I '
,
.
visitingus,mywifewentso faras
to
letDorashareher room.
And I deliberately kept myselfata distance,becausewe
t
thoughtDorawasbadlyin needof affection.
My
wifewas
astonishedat such curiosityin ayounggirl.
f:1
MRS.
K.
You
know
thatyou are free
to
tellmeeverything
and,
1-,.
askmeanything.There's
nothing
intheworld
thatI
feel
I
musthidefrom you.Thebrutality
of
certainpracticeshas
f I
totallyalienatedmefrommen.
DORA. Youareabsolutelyeverything.And1amnothing,nothing.
"
No
one.
Listen
to
me: IloveyouasthoughyouwereGod.
"
Someone.
Forwhom
I
don't
exist.
..\
Forwhom Iam living.
For
noone
b
.
In adoratiOn, in front
of MRS.K.
who, seated in front of her
mirror looks back at her with a long smile and an enigmatic and
, '
,
sinister serenity.
I
;
,
.
MR.B. Therehad
often
beentalkofdivorcebetweenMr. and
.
Mrs.
K.
It nevercame
to that,
because
Mr. K.
wasadevoted
father,andcouldn'tbringhimself
to
giveup
either
ofhis
;'::t
twochildren.
f
. , ~
MR.K. Eitherof my twochildren.
DORA: I wentto Dresden.
My
cousinwanted
to
takeme
to
the
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\' :
.>.t
I i"I
DORA. lowe her everything.Icherishedher.
,
I
FREUD. Howcouldyou beattracted bythismanwhenyour
I ~ J
cherishedfriendspokeso iIIof him?
, 1
DORA. (standing beside MRS. K.) Sheis anintelligentwoman,
superiorto themen around her.Awoman
of
exquisite
beauty.Howwhiteyour backis! Andyour skin!Oh,God,
!,
t
1
:
Iloveyou!(A whisper,
nd
the very faint
sound
a kiss)
May
I?
Andhere,
too, just
above . . .
[ You
can't
imaginehow
much
Iloveyou. If Iwereaman,
r:
tA I'dmarryyou, I'dtakeyouawayandmarryyou, andI'd
h
knowhow to makeyou happy.
MRS. K. Dora!
,
DORA. (to FREUD) They
weren't
rightforeachother.
~
MR.
B. Iexpectanexplanation.
MR.
K.
Agirlwhodwellson suchthingscan't possiblycommandthe
\
respectof aman. ShereadMontegazza.Sheknowsmoreabout
.,,:
it thanyou
do/My
wifewassoastonished that sheventured to
tellmeabout it.'
DORA. Tellme more,tellme everything,everything. (With, leaning
:/
,
.
against MRS.K.)Everythingwomenknow:how
to
makejam,
how
to
makelove,how
to
make
up
theirfaces,how
to
make
"'
pastry,how to adopt babies,how
to
cookmeat,howto dress
I.
fowl.Iwatchedmygrandmothersdothese thingswhenIwas
small. But wouldIknowhow to
do
them?
I'llhave
to
learn.
Shetoldme that shehad thought alot about whatshewould
,.
do
ifshehadto choose
to
comeback
to
earthasaman
or
a
. ~ ~
woman.Shesaidshewassure,shewouldn't hesitate,it'swomen
I
whoruletheroost.Itoldmyselfthat Iwouldn't know,I've
thought alot about it,but Idon't know. Onwhichside.But
ifIwereaman, I'd know.ButI'dbeaman,quick-tempered.But
afterward?I'dbeamanWho's too gentle,maybeI'dbebrutal.
;4:
I'dbe
troubled, I'd
becowardly.
MRS.
K.
Patience,Patience! It'shardwork.Patience,mydear,it
willcomeintime.Witha
bit
of deception aswell.Oursexhas
to
learnitslesson.Draw the curtains.
t t ~
S ~ ~ n d curtains being drawn. Th en "DORA'svoice fades to a
r,
faraway whisper.
DORA.
It
lookslikeacave!Whereare you?
It
lookslikeacave;It's
'0/-
\c" me!
Me
insidemyself,intheshadow.Inyou.
(in a faraway
~ ' o i c e ) Sometimesthefull,sometimesthevoid,andalways
._
, .
....'
.....
,
,
. ,
.,"
.
darkness.Onemightcometo understandeverything.And
.
me someword
that
will makemebe bornagain.Feed me. Ia m ~ . ,'.;:,.. - ~ : 1 f
dead,dead!Idon't evenhave thest rength to desireanymore!
It....
F
Makesomethinghappen
to
me.
$
, ,
(
.'
.'
r
MR.
K.
Don't
beafraid. You
know
me,Dora. . i
,..-
,. I
DORA.
Yesterdayyou calledme "my
dear"
J C:::> '
'.
...
42
43
J
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,......
... .. ... fT
-r T : ~
t
_
I "
.. ... ......... .
-
...
~ . ~
-
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I
MR. K. Come my dear,
don't
be afraid.
DORA. He had said to me, Come, I'll tell you your real name."
)
I wanted so badly for him
to
tell me!
I
MR. K. Come now, come, take my hand. What's stopping you?
.
DORA. He was calling me. I was unable to move. As though the world
were about
to
split
p ~
had
to
drag me. I wanted him
to
1
carry me off.
'f "
MR. K. You know me.
Don't you
know
you
can trust me? Don't close
j
up. Trust me.
DORA. I want to. I
don't
understand myself. I was so heavy. I
,
. ,
want
to
believe you,
Mr.
K. I do.
r . .
I ' , ,
MR.
K.
Yesterday you called me by
TlJY
rust name. You know
we
: 1
,don't
have much time . . . Dora.''fhat doesn't mean that nothing
is
possible., I have
one
word . . : .
DORA. Don't tell me anything. Anything at all. There's something
in,
..
j
your
voice
. . . .
i;
MR. K. What would I have
to
do? What haven't I done?
DORA. You talk
too
much.
It's
in
your
silences
that
I'd like
to
touch you. \0(-> '
--
: I fREUD.
And
you
thought,
I
know who
the
other
is . . . . n
I
:
t
DORA. I
don't
know.
:.
~ K'S
YOICE. As if'she feared the best. As if she deliberately
V ) went
off
alone, because she
didn't
want
to
be alone. Quite
the
contrary.
.
j
DORA.
to
FREUD) I dreamed he rejected me and I saw him for the
,
last time. He was saying
to
me,
I
have nothing against you. I
..
don't
take back' anything I said, I'm a man
of
my word,
didn't
I
keep my word, yes." And he said,
I 'm
not cross with you,
you
know me a
bit
. . .
and,
yes
it's
true, I knew him
better
than
ti1
anyone . . . and
I've thought
a great deal about it, and I'm .
I
making my decision as clear
to
,you
as
I've always made everything
1.1
else, and this
is
how
it
has
to be.
And the tears were streaming
;\
down my cheeks,
but
I was saying yes, yes,
you're
right.
And
then he said, I 'm taking back my pearls!" And he really did say
,:
that;
and also,
I
had given
you the
key
to
the
box
. . .
I'd like
it
back
now.
There was no use crying. with ali
the
crazy things
r.
he was saying. And I said, yes, yes
. . . as
though I wanted
to
,
die. But what key? .
MR.
K.
What key?
..
'.
,.
44
'\
i,. . "...
_ '::t.F.
..
t'I ft '&'
....
~ _
. .__. . . . . . ., . . ,
.......
, ~ ' , \ " " ' H . . , . . . . . . . .-::,q."......1'i t'
.
:..:.:!.....::!'..
FREUD. What box?
DORA., Some time previously,
Mr. K.
had given me a very
valuable jewelry box.
For
my birthday.
...t::REUD.
Good. And
the
key? '
MR K'S YOICE.
And suppose I had asked
her to
wait for me?
DORA. The afternoon following the excursion
to
the lake,
from which
Mr. K.
and I had returned home separately, I
was taking a little nap on the chaise longue in the bedroom.
I woke with a start.
rqA sudden noise.
What are
you
dOing here?
MR.
K.
It's my room, no
one is
going
to
tell me when I can be
here and w hen I can' t. Besides, 1 came
in
to get
som thing
I
DORA.
halting and painful)
I
g:>t up
quickly,
to
escape. I ran.
~ /
Then I dreamed I was runnmg. I could see myself running
on
a beach. The sand was so rough
that
it tore my feet. A /
woman
who
was taller and strong er than me was running beside \
\
me. Everything
about her
was
the
exact opposite from
IDe.
I '
called
her
dear
Mrs.
K.
She made me feel ashamed of mvself. In
every way, sne
was
aliI could have been. I
didn't
have
to
explain
anything to her. She was sublimely indifferent
to
my failures.
Going down. I felt I was drifting further
and
further away from
myself. Even I was abandoning myself.
iYFREUD's
VOICE.
As
if
she,
too,
were escaping.
To
keep from
arriving. To keep from dying, as well.
DORA.
Just then, I saw him again. There! ltwas Him! So far
away! But really only a few meters away. But
too
far. So far
from me. I knew very well
that one
day-
. . . .
FREUD's VOICE. To search for Him everywhere , from the
beginning
of
time. As
if
He existed. As if He were waiting only
for her.
For
her arrival,
to
disappear.
DORA.
There was
no
reason
to
hope. Everything keeps us apart.
He
said,
This
way, nothing
is
changed." And I couldn't wait
for him. Because here where I am, nothing is alive. I was in the
past.
FREUD'S VOICE. All
that
happeneo
to
her happened only
after
the
fact. She lived
on
memories. A prey
to
the past. Without
any hope
of
ever reaching anything
that
would be the present.
45
t
..... .
. _._.v..JIIIIl . . , . . , . - -. . ....,.,.
... ...
... F i I I I M . ~ ~
~ J I
. , ,
..
t.
..
r \ 1 I " f ~ i
j
-
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, .
,;
' ; ~ 1
DORA. She urged me
to
live. She was unaware of
the
~ n o r m i t y
,
of
my
suffering. Which 1 can't even feel. I couldn't even cry
- j
out.
FREUD. Totally lost, between love and desire
DORA. When I
wanted
to shut myself in the
bedroom
in the after
noon
to
rest, there was
no
more
key.
I'm
certain
that
it was
Mr. K. who
took it away.
FREUD. Naturally 'one can't be indifferent as to whether a girl is
] 1
"open" or "closed". It's obvious which key would be used
to
.
"open" in such a case.
I '
DORA. I was "sure" you would say that!
> '
.
FREUD. Didn't you ever wish to give a prese nt to Mr.
K.
in
~ . \
return? That WOUldn't have been out
of
place.
DORA. Absolutely not. I've never thought of it. I didn't trust
I ,
him.
1
was afraid he would come into my room while I was
.
getting dressed
.
FREUD.
Into "his"
room?
DORA. Mrs.
K.
always left very early to take a walk with him. But
he didn't bother me again.
.1.:
.
FREUD.
Perhaps you regretted it?
DORA. Absolutely not. Besides, I had promised myself not to stay
I.. at the K's house without Papa. Because Papa was living at the
. , ~
hotel and he always went
out
in the morning, 1dressed very
quickly to
run
and meet him.
1.\
MR. K.
This
is my room.
There
is some mistake.
t 1
DORA.
There's
no mistake. You are in my house.
MR.K.
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12/21
I smell smoke.
\.1 :
I . ~
,
t
ll
l
,l:
.
.
.. 1
,
.
..
. ;
\ :
'
,
j
','
.t J
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I
4
t
.
.
..
~ ~ . i
"
I .
: .'
:.
~ t :
,
:
,
, 4
i
-
i
"
.
.
..
.(>t_
,
... -
/ r
DORA.
FREUD. Tell me about the
smoke.
DORA. The smell of
smoke
came to me in the last dream. And in
the
other
dreams. ,/
FREUD. Yes. So?
DORA. There was always a smell of smoke. Like a sudden blow. I
woke with a start. And I had this same dream three times.
My
father is standing at the foot of my
bed,
and he wakes me up.
I'm asleep, but I see him.
There must
be a fire somewhere in .c
:
?
RA. May I take my shoes off?
11'--.
r . ~
I
l:t} .*1
~ E U D is silent. A sigh.
My foot hurts. Does my foot disturb you? Is it ugly?
(She
r
aughs)
Good, tell me something, and I'll do it, just
to
please
you.
FREUD Put
your
shoe back on and tell me a dream.
;11,.
.
55
.
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,
.
t
f:
,
,
.
f
L
,
,.)
,; ,/
.,/,.J
,
'
.
. l
I
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f
'..
,
.
It
1
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"
.
...
;;
.\
DORA. Who was she?
FREUD. Who?
DORA. You know who I mean.
That
woman.
It's
not the first
time I've seen her leaving here. I see everything. You,
too,
have a fondness for secrets.
FREUD. No, she's a former patient; after her treatment she
remained a friend of the family.
DORA. Remained a friend of the family.
FREUD. Corne,
don't
be childish. Believe me. And tell
me your
dream.
DORA.
Don't
be childish.
MRS.
K.
Come. Tell me what you've been doing.
DORA. I have noth ing
to
tell you. I never
do
anything.
MRS.
K. .
Tell me something
about
yourself.
--> -:. ,.s:,
DORA. COUldn't
you
love me a little?
Just
a little?
1 '_;
MRS.
K.
Yes,
of
course I could love
you
a little. But what does
it mean,
love
DORA. You
don't
love me at all, then? Not at all?
MRS.
K.
It
never crosses my mind You
are
lovable Someone will
love you. I very much love all
that
you are. . .
c,
.:; ,
,,
I.:
DORA. There's nothing I can give you? There's nothing that you ~ l l . k
need from me?
MRS.
K.
I
don't
need anything, anyone.
That
doesn't
mean
that
you re
nothing.
OORA.
Then
you'll go
on
seeing me?
MRS. K. Why not?
DORA. One day, I would like
to
be lying beside
you.
Not
sitting-I
want
to
lie against
your
body. I close my eyes, and I see.
There would be blood all over. I would have blood
on
my
face.
,--'
MRS. K. How gory see
you
standing, quite alive, preparing for a
. \ .
Journey.
. . . \ ~ . .
. ,
OORA. And I see
you
dead. I would like
to
see
you
dead. And
none allowed
to touch
you. To see you.
MRS.
K.
A tenyear-old has
thoughts
like
that.
-...--._
56
, / /
/
DORA. A person
too
much in love has thoughts like that.
MRS.
K.
The most frightful the most desirable
Silence
-
ORA. 1 had a dream.
FREUD. Tell me
your
dream.
DORA. I dreamed
about
you.
She stops short)
FREUD. Tell me
your
dream.
/10
\
\.
\
/
/
DORA. What will you give me?
FREUD. smiling) Not a jewelry box. But my full attention .
DORA.
It's
strange,
1
see myself climbing the stairs that lead
to
your
flat.
I
ring
the
bell. You r former patient comes
to
the
door and says,
"Y
-
8/10/2019 Cixous_Portrait of Dora
17/21
-
8/10/2019 Cixous_Portrait of Dora
18/21
,
too
. ~ ,
j .'
f
, .. - '
.
.
walk around the lake as far as Linz, and I asked a passer-by
all
of
them
put
together. They prove it, in a cloud
of
smoke.
how much time it would take me.
He
said it would take .
When the smoke clears,
the
ghost
of
Dora-the-stronger-thanaU
two-and-a-half hours. I remember
another
detail: in my dream, ('
lifts her apron so as
to
make 8 sort
of
pouch,
into
which she
I saw
the "interior" of
the forest, as though my eyes could ' ,
gathers thousands of these tiny pearls. Then she holds the
pierce right through it.
From
far away, I saw flowers. . . .
i :
apron over an open briefcase, and spills the pearls inside
it.
beds
of
white flowers. Suddenly I
was
a woman.
r:
In the event
that
they should run
out of
ammunition. A young woman.
-
RS.
K.
What are you looking for?
ause:
-
~
DORA: The K's had a governess who did the same thing.
DORA.
From a distance I saw a huge bed
of
white flowers, Are
they forbidden? No.
FREUD. Ah! You've never mentione d
her to
me.
MRS.
K.
Those flowers are native, they grow all around here.
DORA. Her behaviour toward Mr.
K.
was very strange. She never
greeted him, never answered him, never passed anything
to
him
DORA.
How much time Would it take?
at
dinner; in
short,
she treated him as though he
didn't
exist
MRS.
K.
They're rather far. The flowerbed must be
at
least two
And he was
no
more civil
to
her. One
or
two days before the
kilometers away, over land.
scene at the lake, she told me
that
Mr.
K.
had begged her not
to refuse him anything; he had told her that his wife meant
DORA.
That's too
far. I
won't
bother.
nothing
to
him, etc.
. But I return ed in any case
to
the boat. Mrs. K. was aboard.
FREUD. But those are
the
words
MR.
K.
I beg
you
to
forgive me, and not
to
say anything about
----_._"
" what's happened.
DORA. Yes. Sl!ega ve in. Afterwa rd, he
didn't
give her a second thought.
and she started
to
hate him. !
iQ>ORA.
Suppose I told
your
wife?
-. o \ - ~ >
You offer me a cigarette. And I agree
to
postpone my
FREUD. What became
of
this girl?
/ i - : : ,
departure for twenty-four hours because you say
that
you'll
DORA. Alii know is
that
she left. .....\
\-.\
... ~ ~ ~ \ ~
help me tomorrow. Out of exhaustion r agree to spend the
night with you. You smoke
two
cigarettes. You have one in
FREUD.
If
he had disregarded it,
if
he had continued
to
pursue /
your
mouth
and one in
your
hand. You keep talking, nonstop.
her with a passion capable
of
winning her over, perhaps love! .
might have conquered all the obstacles?
t can't go on much longer. Besides, the cigarette is burning
down.
f;'
Besides, it
wouldn't
have been so hard
to
work
out.
Mrs.
K:O ' ~ : -
would have consented to a divorce; and as for
your
father,: '
..
L"._ ~ 1 : >
FREUD. insinuating voice One more puff!
you're able
to
get whatever
you
want from him.
,
.
I
.
DORA. Let's get it over with and
then
drop it!
DORA. Whatever I wanted? And what do
you
want?
"':"7
FREUD. insinuating
VOice
Suppose we went
on
a
journey?
DORA. I think Mr. K. was serious when he spoke to me.
/
DORA.
I
don't
have
the
strength
to
start all over again. I accepted
(
FREUD. Yes.
the cigarette
out of
exhaustion. But I am incapable
of
desire.
I can neither smoke
nor
travel anymore. Adieu! Adieu!
DORA. But [
didn't
let him finish.
Where
is
the station?
FREUD, Exactly what terms did he use?
FREUD.
Those flowers that grew in white rows beside the forest,
DORA. I don't remember any more. He said
to
me: you know
thal
two kilometres from where you
stood-were they
Iilies-of
my wife means nothing
to
me. And I
cut
him
off
right away.
the-valley?
MR. K. You know that my wife means nothing to me.
DORA.
And if the white flowers had been blue; would I have given
up? imitating her
mother s
voice For
shame,
they
say!
DORA. So as
not to
run into him again, I made up my mind to
61
0
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.
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b.
For shame!Dora, whatareyou doing?That's poison.That
..l
makesyougo mad!
-
; ; ~ .
: ; ~ O R A .
Where!
Is!
The!Station!(screams)
VOICEOF THEPLAY. WhatIily-of-the-vaUeysaysinadream
t
It\,
0
Mr.
K.sayswithajewelry
box.
....
Whatcanbesaidwithflowers
,
Papasayswithpearls
,
WhatDorahasn'tsaid
I
the Doctor sayswithsmoke.
!1
DORA. At last,atlast,Iarrived
at
the station.
, i
MR.K.There'sno train.Therailshave becncut.
Doyoumindmybeinghere?
I
DORA. Yes,ifyouwant
to know
the
truth.
~
MR.K. Is thisthelast timeI'llseeyou?
';'
DORA. (a furtive silence, like a long stare)
MR.K. Suchsilence,fromyou, who areusuallysofullof words!
J
1
FREUD. (in
Q
normal voice) Youknewthere
wouldn't
beatrain?
.
: ;
Noflowersfortheforest,
no
trainfor
the
station.It's
no
'/ .1
accident.There'ssomethingyoudon't wantto touch or catch.
'J
DORA. Iarriveat thestation.I'm alone.You
ha,d
insisted
that
Icome.
FREUD. This
trip to
Viennawould lastperhapssixmon ths.Or,
rather. nine.
. . ~
t.,.;
MR. K. My sweetlittleDora.youknow howmuchIcareforyou.
DORA. You'vetreatedme likeaservant.I'mleavingyou.Noone
:
willcome with me.Iam aloneina foreigncity. I lookat a
.I
I
painting
of
theMadonna.
No one
touchesme.Iwillnever
marry
.d
MRS. K. Youareavirgin,mylittleone.
FREUD. Andyouspenthourslookingatthisportrait?
,
.
'\
if
DORA. It's whitenesswassosoothing.
:
FREUD.
That's
what
you thought
of Mrs.
K.
,
r
DORA. No;
that's
me!
;.
p.,.::;.
_.'
.:;
dancemelody ).. I.)
l-,
,""
MRS.
K.
Why--;;:en'tyou dancing?
,
.
"
t"
62
j...
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r , ~
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...............
"
.. ....1} ~ ' - 7 . ' H : - ~ 3
\1
DORA. Shehadcomeintohermaturity.Buttheyearsseemed
4
d--
not to
touch her.Besides,shespent most of hertimeinbed.
MRS.
K. Youhavenodesire
to
havechildren?Butyoumother
my
childrensowell!Why
don't
youdance?
That's
whatI
like-gaiety, movement,vitality! You-you're alwaysso
serious.
DORA. It's true. No.Yes.
MRS. K. You'resoserious! You're too s e ~ I L h ~
DORA. Shepreachedto me,alwaysgood-naturedlY,It'strue
that [wasseriousandreserved.Shesaidto me,
"You're
such
aseriouschild." That's strange,isn'tit?Iaskedherquestions
about pregnancyandbirth.Sheliked to satisfymy
cUriosity.To talk tome
about
birthandvirginity,things
likethat.
' - - -
MRS.
K. You'resuchaseriouschild!
Too
serious.
Be
careful:You
mustknowwhere
to
stop.Can't youacceptyour limits?You
can't be amadonna.Youaretoo handsome,my littleman.
DORA. My littleman! Howstrange.
-:-;-
...r .-
MRS. K. Onefalsestepandyou'reover the edge.Listen: (Whispers)
You
don't
knowhow
to
live.
It's
rathercharming,though.Icouldbe your mother . . . .
Listen.
DORA.
WhatifIleapt
on
top of her'? Shook her?Beat her?She
doesn't
loveme.
If only
shecouldseeherself.I'm much
too
stUbbornforher to turnmyhead.Icouldturn againsther.
FREUD. Howdo youexplainthefact
that
you'vealwaysbeenso
generoustowar d Mrs. K,
your
slanders,whereasyouhoundthe
others withanalmostsinistervengeance?
DORA. Shehadslowandgentlemovements,whichIlovedvery
mUch. Once,alongtime ago,Ihadsprained my
foot
tripping
downthe stairs.
My
foot swelled,She had
to
bandageit.[had
to
stayinbedforafewweeks.Shekeptme
company
and
spoke to me as if Iwereherfriend.Sheconfidedinme.She
-_.
toldme that herhusband didn't
want
adivorcebecause
of
the
''0
children.
:11
FREUD. Didn't
youthinkadivorcewouldhavebeenthe bestthing
forallconcerned?
DORA. I'd hadacuriou sdream. Iwasrunning, myrightfoo t was
very sore.Ihad
to
sitdown.
My
anklewasswollen.I
couldn't
63
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n
If
,
'.-
------
moveanymore;Iwanted
to
talk
to
Dr.K andatthesametime
Iknewhewasn'treallya
doctor.
Iwanted to askhisadvice. I
askforhim
on
thephone.Finallyhecomes;and
it's
nothim,
it's
hiswife. Ifeelhe rpresenceover
the
phone,obscure,white,
insinuating
. . .
MRS.
K.
over the
phone)
Whoshall
I
sayiscalling?
DORA. Sheasks.Mrs K.,
I
say.
MRS.
K. on the phone)
Oh,indeed!
DORA.
in a modulated voice, without the slightest annoyance)
I know.Letmetalk
to
him!
MRS.K. Indeed!
DORA. Sheputshim
on
thephone.
He
tellsmehe can' t dovery
much.
I'll
have
to
waituntilnextyear.
I
laugh.He tellsme,
"You
know that
. . . . . ButIdon't lethimfinish. I hangup.
FREUD. Infact,you
don't
letthingsfinish. Yourankleswells.
Yougivebi rth. Nine
months after
thescene
at
thelake.So
despiteeverythingyoumanage
to
havea
"child"
byMr.
K.
Somethinghappenedduringthescene
at
thelake.
DORA. Nothinghappened!
FREUD. Precisely.
It
wasthere
that
youtookthat"false
step"
whoseconsequencesyouarestillsuffering.Youregrettedit.
Youstillregrettheoutcomeof
that
scene.
It's
notthe
Madonna youwanted
to
be.YourloveforMr.
K.
doesn't
stopatthat.
DORA
is
silent.
FREUD. Whydid
you
keephimfromgoingon?
DORA. Is
that
am
FREUD.
I'm
notdisappointedwiththeresults.
DORA. You'regivingbirth
to
amouse.
DORA. Do
you
inow,Doctor,that thisis mylasttimehere?
FREUD. You'reinformingme.
DORA. Yes,I
told
myselfIwould
try to
bepatient,but I
don't
want
to
wait
much
longerforthe
"cure".
FREUD. You
know you
arealwaysfree
to
stoptreatment.When
did
you
makethisdecision?
DORA. Twoweeksago,Ithink.
64
--_
_
......--
...
- ........-........,. ..........
.......
-.:....,:... - ~ ~
2
FREUD. Twoweeks? That' sthe noticeagovernessgivesbefore
quitting.
DORA. Areyoualone?Whereisyourwife?
This last time must
I
be extremely violent)
VOICEOFFREUD. Whetherornothewantedtocureherin his
,
owntime,orwhetherhe wanteditonlyonthisfirstday
of
4 /
January
1900,
hewill neverknow, andn orwillshe,and nor
will I. .
DORA. IfonlyIknewverysimplywhere
I
wasnow,in what
country.Imightbegin
to
believe.
.'
FREUD. Younevergavemethe chanceto finishexpressingmyself.
That'swhatyougot
out of your
tendency
to
hurt yourself. I've
.
,
neverseensuchviolence.
...
DORA. Today ismylasttimehere.
FREUD.
(doesn t
hide his panic) Youareavengingmethe way you
wouldhaveliked
to
avenge Mr. K. Andyouareabandoning )
e
the way he abandonedyou.
DORA. You
don't
understandanything.
That won't
stopyoufrom
J . ~
existing!Here'smy revenge:
I 'l l
go
"alone,"
I'll cure
"myself"
.
' k
AndI'vemadeupmymindto leaveonadate I'veset myself.
It
. ' 11 ,
hefirst
of
January
1900.
,r
I ,
FREUD. Listen.Yourdecision. . ,We haddecided....
. , ' ,
,
,,,
ORA. No.
l
)(
REUD. Youknow. ...
I
admit. .. " t,
Iamstup efied. ButIexpect edit. Neverdid Ireallydream. ... 'I
.
I
wouldhavesworn. . . ,Howwell
1
understand her! Toowell! ' .k'
~
MR. K. Ifound herbeautiful. She seemedlarger
to
me aswell. ,.
t
.;.,.,
DORA. Thisdesirestillthisdesire.Yes,
I [
~ : : - ; c (
, (
r
[:
Gs/ ::
'
REUD.
This
is
murderyou'recommitting.You'remurdering ;
1;
someoneelse:Whom
Ire . . .
(OORA'sPrenesmile stops him
~ , i . ; : : ; A . ";':>,' , '
short) Why didn't
you
tell me before? .
'r , ; c . ~ l ( ' . ; ~ ' ; : t \t
DORA,
Ishouldhavechosensome
other
date?Yes
. . .
You
c o u i a ~ ,
havehad
your
wifehere? 10
_)
FREUD. You'retryingto hurtsomeoneelsethroughme.-
DORA.
DearDoctor,
you
areanins titutio n.So respectthe will
thepointof view
of
apatientwhowishesyouwell.
? (,.) :-:-
:
i
;
,
65
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8/10/2019 Cixous_Portrait of Dora
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MR. B. I assure you, Doctor, my daughter will return.
.
FREUD. I assure you she will
not.
, . ~
DORA. Act as though I had never come. As though I were dead.
..
..
Do you deny ever having kissed me?
'
MR.
K.
No!
.
'
" .
.
DORA.
to
MRS.
K.)
I know
you
re haVing an affair wlth Papa.
..
FREUD. M a y b ~ you know
too
much about it? Or, in some way, _
not
enough?
i
:1
DORA. mockingly) And what if it were true? If I did know too / ~ :
I , , ~
much about it? I still know too much? A little bit more than
all of you?
~
FREUD. No. I'd say you didn't know enough.
DORA. Or maybe you love yourself a bit
too
much?
FREUD.
Think
carefully.
Don't
hurt yourself.
~ . ;
DORA. You make me laugh. But I have no desire
to
hurt
you.
/ , . ~
Because, you, Doctor I never would have loved you.
FREUD. I might have managed it. What takes my breath away is
this date, this first of January 1900, this single drop of time
i'l
that remains
to
me. I would need a lifetime, I could
I' .
DORA. stops him and lashes into him) You could push me,
,..1
throw
me downstairs? Propose a final meeting, meticulously
p l a n n e ~
.;, :
, ,
planned, with an air of relief at my departure? Letting me
;1
",
know,
at
the same time,
that you're
hiding your satisfaction?
You could tell me you're delighted with my decision. That
you were hoping for it.
That you'd
predicted it. Expected it.
That it's fulfilment of your greatest desire. You could-you
"
couldn't-beat me black and blue. I wouldn't put up a
..
struggle. You could slap me. I think we would
both
take a
certain pleasure in it.
~
FREUD. I would have taught
you
what I've learned from you.
with
great difficulty)
I would have liked to do something for
ti
11
you .
DORA. No one can do anything
.f'
j
FREUD. Let me know what
I'm doLllg
{he
makes
a slip the
1
,
tongue in such a way that
it
goes unnoticed} Write
to
me.
r. :
'.
,
DORA. Write?
That's not
my affair
.
ctS-
I
t.1
66
"
~ ,
l ~ - -
V I C ~ OF THE PLAY. May
1900.
Vienna. At a particularly busy
l I ~ t e r s e c t l o n , Dora saw
Mr. K.
struck by a carriage. She saw
m
~ a l l . It
was the most horrible day
of
her life.'
t
was
Hie
h a p ~ l e s t day of her life. She crossed the street without
~ a t t J n ~ an eyelash, lifting her elegant dress with her finger-
t l p ~ , shghtly
b a r i ~ g ~ e r
ankles.
It
was only a very minor
aCCident. On the inSide,
Mr. K.
was going through the
..
tortures
of
the damned'
but
hl's
0
t appearance was
..
u ward
shll qUite stnklng. He had seen Dora pass. There is no greater
..,.....
sorrow
than
the
~ e m o r y
of love. ) 1
And Freud knew
lt.
. -
THE END
.. ' ,
.
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