2

Clark & addisonEpisodE 4 - “sporTs aBUsE”

A REUNION OF 20 SOMETHING CUB FANS ON THE CORNER OF CLARK AND ADDISON IN CHICAGO - IN A SMALL BAR NAMED WEAGHMAN’S PARK. THE CUBS ORIGINALLY PLAYED AT WEAGHMAN PARK IN CHICAGO BEFORE TRANSFERRING TO CUBS PARK IN 1919 - WHICH BECAME WRIGLEY FIELD IN 1926. NIGHTLY IN DEPTH DISCUSSIONS OF CUBS AND CHICAGO OCCUR AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. WEAGHMAN’S PARK ONLY SERVES FOOD AND DRINK ORIGINATING FROM ABOVE THE WISCONSIN BORDER . . . SMALL NEIGHBORHOOD WRIGLEY FIELD BAR CALLED WEAGMAN’S PARK WITH ONLY WISCONSIN BEER AND SHEBOYGAN BRATS - A 20 SOMETHING HANGOUT. FOLLOW THE HISTORY OF THE CUBS, BEARS AND BULLS AS SEEN THROUGH THE EYES OF JOSH, ELLIOT, SAM, KERI, MELANIE AND FRIENDS . . .

JOSHHEY WILL, WE’RE ABOUT TO GET SWEPT !

WILLBY ARIZONA OF ALL TEAMS.

JOSHTHEY HAVE NO NAME PLAYERS ON THEIR TEAM.

WILLTHEY DO NOW.

JOSHI KNOW IT’S HARD TO NAME ANY OF THEM.

WILLWELL THEY FLAT OUT BEAT US TO DEATH.

JOSHYEAH, WE’RE NOT EVEN CLOSE IN A SINGLE GAME.

WILLI FEEL LOU’S TEAM RAN OUT OF GAS AT THE END AFTER THE STRUGGLE TO GET THE CHAMPAIGN FOR THE DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP.

JOSHIN FACT THE CUBBIES WILL BE ABLE TO HOIST ANOTHER BANNER ONTO WRIGLEY.

WILLI’LL DEFINITELY BUY A SHIRT. AND ONE FOR KERI.

3

JOSHWILL, LEAVE HER ALONE. SHE’S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH. SHE DOESN’T WANT A WASHED UP JOCK ANYWAY.

WILLI WAS JUST THINKING........

JOSHNO WILL, IT’S THAT YOU’RE NOT THINKING. YOU RUN ON HORMONAL DRIVE 110% - NO COGNITIVE REFLECTION ABOUT THINGS. BESIDES YOU’VE GOT WORK TO DO IN HIGHLANDS PARK.

WILLNO I DON’T.

JOSHWHY IS THAT ? WE’VE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS ONE AND DECIDED ON A COURSE OF ACTION.

WILLJOSH, NONE OF THAT GARBAGE WORKED - THE CAR, SUIT, 5 O’CLOCK SATURDAY MASS, BEING COOL.

JOSHHOW DO YOU KNOW ?

WILLWELL SHE CALLED AND SAID JUST TO COOL AND WE’D BE FRIENDS.

JOSHOH, THAT IS A SIGN OF DEATH IT IS OVER BIG TIME. SORRY ! WE TRIED !

WILLWELL SHE SOUNDED LIKE SHE WAS DIRECTED BY THAT BITCH MOM OF HERS ANYWAY - SO I’VE DECIDED TO MOVE ON.

JOSHSO HOW ARE YOU MOVING ON ?

WILLBY GOING OUT TO OHARE AND PLEADING FOR THE MECHANIC APPRENTICESHIP.

JOSHSOUNDS COOL.

WILLYOU DON’T THINK THERE ARE OPENINGS AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK DO YOU ?

4

JOSHWILL, FIND YOUR OWN GIG. I REALLY DON’T THINK THIS WOULD WORK FOR YOU. I’M ONLY DOING IT FOR NOW - AND WHO KNOWS HOW LONG NOW LASTS.

WILLI GUESS SO. I’M STILL UPSET ABOUT THE CUBS JUST FLAT OUT HAVING NO PUNCH IN THE PLAYOFFS.

JOSHIT WAS A GOOD COMEBACK SEASON TO GO PAST THE BREWERS AND I THINK WE USED UP ALL THE GAS IN THE TANK IN SO DOING. WE HAVE TO TAKE CREDIT FOR THAT AS MILWAUKEE WAS ACTUALLY BEING GIVEN THE DIVISION IN AUGUST - BUT THEY CAME BACK TO US AS NOT UNEXPECTED.

WILLWELL IN GAME 1 SORIANO WAS 0 FOR 5. WE HAD 9 STRANDED RUNNERS IN SCORING POSITION, AND EVEN CARLOS DOUBLED. WE WERE 1 FOR 20 WITH OUR TOP 5 HITTERS.

JOSHNOT BAD WILL - BUT AS YOU CAN SEE THIS WON’T GET IT DONE. IN FACT ALFONSO WHIFFED 3X IN GAME 2.

WILLBUT WOOD HAD 2 GREAT INNINGS OF RELIEF. MAYBE HE’LL CLOSE NEXT YEAR.

JOSHBUT HE’LL PROBABLY BE GONE AFTER THIS YEAR AS CHICAGO - EVEN THE SOX FANS ARE TIRING OF PRYOR AND WOODS.

WILLI THOUGHT LILY WAS REALLY STRUGGLING IN THAT GAME - AND FINALLY LEFT IN THE 4TH.

JOSHTHE KEY WAS THE DIAMONDBACKS - DOUG DAVIS, THEIR STARTER, PLAYED GREAT. CHRIS YOUNG HAD A 3 RUN HOMER. GIVE THEM CREDIT.

WILLWELL GAME 3 WAS A JOKE.

KERINO KIDDING. I DON’T KNOW IF I’M GOING TO ANOTHER GAME.

WILLHEY KERI HOW YOU DOING ?

5

KERINOT WELL - I’LL TELL YOU GUYS IT LOOKED LIKE A FUNERAL PROCESSION AT WRIGLEY SATURDAY AFTERNOON WITH THE GAME 3 LOSS. ALL THE HOPES AND DREAMS OF BREAKING THE CURSE WENT DOWN THE TUBES.

JOSHI BET YOU LOST IT IN THE 5TH WHEN DEROSA HIT INTO A TWIN KILLING WITH THE BASES LOADED.

WILLWELL RICH HILL WAS REALLY STRUGGLING ON THE MOUND ALSO.

KERIBUT KENDALL HIT .355 FOR THE SERIES I HEARD ON WGN ON THE WAY OVER HERE.

JOSHBUT DON’T FORGET THESE NO NAME DIAMONDBACKS LIKE HERNANDEZ PITCHED REALLY WELL. THEY DESERVED IT AS MUCH AS I HATE TO ADMIT.

WILLSO HOW DID YOU GET TICKETS KERI ? ELLIOTT GET YOU SOME ?

KERINO ELLIOTTPER TRIED, BUT I ACTUALLY DID WORSE.

WILLHOW SO - THE ELLIOTTPER AIN’T SO BAD. IN FACT HE’S KINDA COOL I THINK .

KERIWELL I TOOK THIS SUBSTITUTE SOCIAL WORK JOB AND THEY HAD THIS BLIND DATE WITH A GUY WHO HAD TICKETS BEHIND HOME PLATE. AND THEY SAID HE WAS 28, SUCCESSFUL, CUTE, AND WANTED A DATE. THEY ALL LOOKED AT ME BECAUSE I WAS TALKING CUBS BASEBALL.

JOSHSO YOU WENT. I THOUGHT BLIND DATES DIDN’T EXIST ANY LONGER - I THOUGHT SPEED DATES REPLACED BLIND DATES OR THE INTERNET DID IT ALL.

WILLA BLIND DATE ! MY GOD KERI, HE COULD’VE BEEN CHARLES MANSON. ALL THESE GUYS START OUT GOOD LOOKING.

JOSHAND THEY ARE MONSTERS. WELL WHAT HAPPENED ?

KERIHE TOOK ME OVER TO HIS NORTH LAKE SIDE PALACE AND SAID HE USUALLY DID THINGS IN REVERSE ON DATES.

6

JOSHON MY GOD, KERI. DID YOU RUN !

KERINO I WAS COOL. I REALLY DID WANT TO GO TO THE GAME. AND THIS WAS THE ONLY WAY. I TOLD HIM THAT IT WASN’T MY WAY.

WILLSO WHAT NEXT ?

KERIHE SAID WE WERE TO MEET UP WITH SOME FRIENDS - SO WE WENT TO ANOTHER CASTLE FURTHER NORTH.

WILLAND IT WAS A SWAP DEAL OR SOMETHING WEIRD. YOU SHOULD BE RUNNING OR BOATING BY NOW.

KERINO, I WENT IN. REMEMBER HE HAD THE TICKETS. AND LO AND BEHOLD IT WAS HIS PARENTS PLACE - AND THEY WERE COOL.

WILLI STILL WOULD BE RUNNING OR ASKING THE GRANDPA FOR A RIDE HOME. CAB - ANY ESCAPE.

KERIWELL THEY THOUGHT WE HAD BEEN DATING QUITE A WHILE AND I HAD TO CORRECT THAT. AND THE FOOD WAS PREPARED BY THEIR PRIVATE CHEF.

JOSHSO THIS GUY ISN’T SO BAD AFTER ALL.

WILLNO JOSH - HE IS A BIG NORTH SIDE CREEP AND HIDES IT WITH HIS MONEY.

KERIOK, WE THEN WENT TO THE GAME, HE APOLOGIZED AND WE SAT RIGHT BEHIND HOME PLATE.

JOSHWATCHED EVERY CUB STRIKE OUT. I BET THAT WAS FUN. SO WHAT NEXT.

KERIWELL AFTER THE LAST OUT, I THOUGHT OF TAKING HIM OVER HERE TONIGHT, BUT THEN I THOUGHT I DIDN’T WANT THIS CREEP IN OUR LITTLE CLUB.

7

WILLGOOD PROCESSING KERI. WE DON’T WANT HIM HERE EITHER - EVEN IF HE DOES HAVE SEASON TICKETS WE COULD USE NEXT YEAR.

JOSHSO ARE YOU GOING BACK TO THIS WELFAROLOGY JOB THEN ON MONDAY AND HAVE TO DEAL WITH THESE PEOPLE WHO LINED YOU UP AND TELL THEM THIS GUY IS A MONSTER ?

KERINO, I LET THEM KNOW I APPRECIATED THE WORK AND I WOULDN’T BE BACK. I SHOOK THE MONSTER’S HAND AND SAID THANKS BUT DON’T CALL - AND HE LEFT.

WILLYEAH, YOU’LL READ ABOUT THIS GUY IN THE TRIBUNE NEXT MONTH.

JOSHBETTER YET, HE’LL MAKE GRETA ON FOX. YOU HAVE TO BE PRETTY BAD TO MAKE HER SHOW.

WILLJOSH, THIS GUY BEHIND ME WANTS BABY SWISS WHEN YOU GET A CHANCE. AND THE RUSSIAN LEINIES - THE RUSSIAN STOUT ! IT’S FINALLY IN - ALL THE WAY FROM THE NORTHWOODS.

JOSHCOMING RIGHT UP SIR.

KERISO WHY DOES THIS GUY COME IN HERE WITH A SOX JACKET ON ? IS HE LOST ?

JOSHNO, I THINK HE’S A SCOUT. THE SOX SCOUTS ARE ALL OVER. THEY ARE LIKE OZZIE - YOU CAN NEVER TRUST THEM. THEY WEAR SOX JACKETS SO NO ONE WOULD EVEN THINK THEY ARE SOX SCOUTS - JUST DUMB LOST FANS. BUT THEY MIGHT BE PICKING UP TIPS IN THE CLARK STREET BARS. THEY ARE WORSE THAN THE KGB.

KERIOK - IT LOOKS LIKE CANNING WILL BUY THE TEAM ALL OR IN PART FROM THE TRIBUNE - NOT MARK CUBAN - THAT WOULD MAKE TOO MUCH SENSE TO HAVE A VESTED INTEREST GUY AT FIRST BASE EVERY DAY WITH A CHEERLEADING ACT.

JOSHWELL I STRONGLY THINK CUBAN WOULD’VE BEEN THE GUY - BUT SELIG DIDN’T WANT HIM - NOR DID ANY OF THE OTHER OWNERS - THEY WERE SCARED WRIGLEY AND THE CUBS WOULD’VE BEEN ANOTHER GODZILLABRENNER FAMILY.

8

KERIWELL WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING - AT LEAST MARK CUBAN WOULD’VE WILLED THESE GUYS TO WIN IF LOU COULDN’T.

WILLI’M STILL WORRIED ABOUT FREE AGENCY GUYS LIKE KENDALL WITH THE .355 IN THE ARIZONA SERIES. AND WOOD WILL PROBABLY GO FREE AGENCY - MAYBE EVEN TO THE SOX.

JOSHDON’T CONFUSE OUR PATRON WITH THE SOX JACKET ON.

WILLOH, HE SAYS HE WANTS ANOTHER RUSSIAN AND ZUERCHER SANDWICH....AND I TOLD HIM ZUERCHER’S WAS IN SKOKIE SO HE COULD ORDER FOR HOME IF THE FEE WAS $25 OR MORE.

KERIWELL , WHAT DO WE DO WITH PRYOR ? I THINK HE NEEDS ACUPUNCTURE OR SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

JOSHHE MAY GO TO ANOTHER TEAM AND KICK BUTT. THAT’S MY WORRY - LIKE MILWAUKEE SO HE CAN KEEP HIS HOME HERE.

WILLTHAT WOULD BE HIGHLY DREADFUL.

KERIOH HERE COMES SOME MORE BORDER PEOPLE LAUGHING ALL THE WAY AS WE GET BEAT THINKING THEY SHOULD HAVE REPRESENTED THE DIVISION.

JOSHGIVE ME A BREAK KERI - THESE GUYS HAD IT MADE ALL THE WAY THROUGH SUMMER AND COULDN’T PULL IT OFF - LIKE 135 GAMES IN THE LEAD.

KERIWELL, I JUST DON’T LIKE THE JOVIAL TONE OF THESE GUYS WHEN THERE IS AN ACTUAL CUBBY FUNERAL GOING ON RIGHT NOW. CAN YOU IMAGINE THESE GUYS EMPTYING OUT THEIR LOCKERS WITH LOU IN THE BACKGROUND.

JOSHIT HAS HAPPENED 99 CONSECUTIVE YEARS. OUR CURSE IS FAR WORSE THAN BOSTON.

WILLWELL WE HAD BETTER SHAKE IT UP, BECAUSE WINNING OUR DIVISION IS GOOD, BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH - WE WANT THE PENNANT AND THE SERIES. THAT SIMPLE.

9

KERIOH HERE COMES SOME GIRLS WITH THE CUFFED BLUE JEANS.

JOSHTHESE ARE REAL BLUE COLLAR CUBS FANS. YOU CAN’T GO WRONG WITH ONE OF THESE GALS. THEY ARE SALT OF THE EARTH.

KERIYES, THE ONLY PLACE I SEE BLUE JEANS ROLLED UP ARE BLUE COLLAR GIRLS IN CHICAGO AND ALL GUYS IN COLORADO FOR SOME REASON. YOU CAN SPOT THOSE GUYS A MILE AWAY.

WILLWOW, A COUPLE OF THEM ARE CUTE ALSO.

KERIDON’T GET IDEAS WILL. EVERYONE IS IN MOURNING. DON’T FLIRT WHILE A FUNERAL IS GOING ON - SERIOUSLY.

JOSHWELL WE’VE GOT THIS NEW SHIPMENT OF CHEDDAR FROM ZUERCHER’S THIS WEEK WHICH EVERYONE IS RAVING ABOUT. THEY FEEL THE MORE BITTER THE BETTER.

WILLI CAN’T STAND THAT STUFF - I’LL TAKE BABY SWISS OR MUENSTER.

KERITHEY ARE FLAT OUT COOL - NO GUYS HANGING ON THEM - JUST PLAIN CUB 20 SOMETHING FANS.

WILLI’LL LET THEM HAVE THEIR WAKE AND THEN ATTACK.

KERIWILL, YOU CAN’T SUPPORT YOURSELF - LET ALONE A WOMAN. YOU NEED TO GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER LIKE REAL SOON WILL.

WILLOK, MOTHER KERI, I’LL FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS.

KERIRELAX, LET THE GAME COME TO YOU.

WILLYOU SOUND LIKE A COACH.

JOSHWELL I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR THOSE GALS TALK. THEY’VE MOVED ON - HECK THEY’RE TALKING ABOUT THE BEARS.

10

WILLI COULD FILL THEM IN ON EVERYTHING.

KERILEAVE EM BE WILL. THIS IS A STATE FUNERAL.

JOSHMY GOD THE CHEESE IS FLYING OUT OF HERE SO FAST TONIGHT THAT WE MAY RUN OUT BY MIDNIGHT.

KERIHOW IS THE BRAT SUPPLY ?

JOSHTHAT IS LOW TOO ? I’D BETTER CALL THE OWNER AS HE HAS SOME HIDDEN IN HIS GARAGE FRIDGE.

KERIWELL HE HAS A GOOD GIG HERE AT WEAGHMAN’S PARK. GOOD START FOR NEXT YEAR.

JOSHWELL WE’RE TALKING ABOUT ADVERTISING - EVEN THE INTERNET.

WILLWELL FOLKS DON’T GO TO THE INTERNET TO FIND WEAGHMAN’S - THEY JUST GRAVITATE HERE BY WORK OF MOUTH. TRUST ME - THAT’S HOW I CAME.

JOSHWELL THEY USE THE INTERNET AT THE U. OF CHICAGO WILL - MAYBE THEY DIDN’T AT NORTHERN.

KERIDO YOU SEE THAT STUD THAT HAS A CUBS DRESS SHIRT ON. HE IS DEFINITELY CUTE. AND ............OH I GUESS HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND.

WILLWELL THESE GUYS BEHIND ME THINK THE BEARS WILL EASILY WIN THE SUPER BOWL.

KERIAND THEY THINK THE SOX WILL WIN THE SERIES NEXT YEAR ALSO.

WILLOH MY GOD THE BEARS ARE ALMOST OUT OF THE PLAYOFF NFL PICTURE ALREADY.

JOSHYES, ANGELO’S TIES TO THE GATORS HAVE KEPT REX IN THE LINEUP FAR TOO LONG.

11

KERITHE WHOLE TOWN HOLDS THEIR BREATH EVERY TIME REX GOES BACK TO PASS.

JOSHWELL THE THING I DON’T GET IS THAT LOVIE HOWELL SMITH GOES RIGHT ALONG WITH IT.

WILLTHAT’S REALLY LOVIE’S NAME ?

KERIYES AND IT DOESN’T MATTER - WE WANT WINS, NOT CONTROVERSY. WE’VE HAVEN’T HAD A QB SINCE MCMAHON. WE NEED A REAL GUY BACK THERE.

JOSHWELL HOLD THE PHONE - WE’RE ONLY 1 AND 3 AND WE COULD BEAT THE CHEESEHEADS THIS WEEKEND.

KERIWITH LOSSES TO SAN DIEGO, DALLAS AND DETROIT - WE AREN’T GOING ANYWHERE.

JOSHBUT WE BEAT THE CHIEFS.

WILLHECK, GARY COULD BEAT THE CHIEFS.

KERIWELL LOVIE IS TAKING DIRECTION FROM ANGELO AND THE BOSSES. HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT WINNING - ONLY GREEN STUFF.

WILLWELL RUMOR HAS IT ANGELO IS THE ONLY GUY WHO VOTED AGAINST CUBAN GETTING INTO THE NBA - SO FORGET ABOUT THE CUBS HAVING CUBAN AS THEIR OWNER.

KERII THINK CUBAN SHOULD BUY THE BEARS, CUBS, WIRGLEY AND SOLDIER FIELD - THE WHOLE THING.

JOSHWE NEED TO DO SOMETHING. DO YOU REALLY THINK HE’S THE GUY THOUGH ?

KERIHECK YES - WE WANT SOME SPIRIT ON THESE TEAMS - HECK THE BEARS LOOK LIKE ANOTHER SLOW FUNERAL PROCESSION.

12

WILLWELL I DON’T LIKE IT WHEN THOMAS JONES CARRIED THE ENTIRE LEAGUE AND CITY OF CHICAGO FOR 4 YARDS REPEATEDLY LAST YEAR - AND THEY LET HIM GO. MY GOD THE GUY IS A WINNER.

JOSHWELL THE BEARS HAVEN’T EVER UNDERSTOOD OFFENSE SINCE JOHNNY MORRIS. MAYBE HE SHOULD COME BACK.

WILLWELL ONCE NAGURSKI SHOWED UP ON THE SCENES IN THE 30S THE BEARS HAVEN’T LOOKED BACK. IT’S BEEN 3 YARDS AND A CLOUD OF DUST, LOW SCORING, AND A PASSING GAME LIKE A RUGBY CONTEST.

KERIWE DON’T EVEN LOOK FOR PASSERS IN THE DRAFT. WE MIGHT BECOME COMPETITIVE THEN. I KNOW CUBAN WOULD. HE’D HAVE TRYOUTS ON MICHIGAN AVENUE AND PROBABLY HAVE THE FANS VOTE ON WHO THEY THOUGHT COULD THROW THE BALL FOR US.

WILLWELL YOU CAN’T HAVE THE TRYOUTS IN WRIGLEY BECAUSE THE FIELD WILL BE TORN UP FOR DRAINAGE TOMORROW.

KERIWELL WE JUST FLAT OUT NEED TO DO SOMETHING. WE GOT TO THE SUPER BOWL LAST YEAR ON STRAIGHT DEFENSE. THOSE GUYS SHOULD BE DOWN SOUTH ON THE BORDER PREVENTING BAD GUYS FROM COMING IN. YA GOTTA SCORE TO WIN.

WILLWELL SWEETNESS AND WILLIE GALLIMORE ARE GONE. WE CAN’T BRING THEM BACK. RED GRANGE DIED AND THE KANSAS CITY COMET SAYERS CAN’T PLAY ANYMORE EITHER.

JOSHOK, I’VE GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK FOR A BIT. THE LEINIES IS FLOWING TONIGHT AMIDST THE TEARS. MOST PEOPLE ARE WONDERING IF THEY CAN HOLD THIS CUB TEAM TOGETHER.

KERIWELL IF WE ARE ALL GONNA LIVE HERE WE SHOULDN’T HAVE TO TAKE THIS ABUSE BY THE BEARS ANY LONGER. MAYBE WE SHOULD GET A CONSTITUTIONAL PERMIT AND STOP TRAFFIC ON MICHIGAN AVENUE TO PROTEST THIS OFFENSE.

WILLYES, THAT’S A GREAT IDEA KERI. IT WOULD GET NATIONAL ATTENTION - FOX, CNBC, CNN, SPERSTATION, WGN - ALL THE BIGGIES WOULD BE THERE. IT WOULD BE THE VERY FIRST PUBLIC PROTEST AGAINST A SPORTS TEAM. I THINK THE ENTIRE TOWN WOULD SHOW UP. WILL THAT FLY JOSH ?

13

JOSHWELL - IT’LL BE UP TO THE JUDGE, BUT IF IT’S REASONABLE, SERVES A PUBLIC INTEREST, AND DOESN’T INCITE REBELLION WE MAY BE OK. I’M NOT CERTAIN SHUTTING DOWN MICHIGAN AVENUE IS AN OPTION - WE’D BE BETTER OFF STAGING THIS NEAR SOLDIER FIELD - ON PUBLIC PROPERTY.

KERIWELL IF WE WENT ON PRIVATE GROUND - WE WOULDN’T NEED A PERMIT AND ALL THAT RED TAPE.

JOSHBUT IT WOULD BE MORE EFFECTIVE ON PUBLIC PROPERTY. I’LL LOOK INTO IT - BUT DON’T WANT TO JEOPARDIZE MY JOB HERE. I MEAN OUR WEAGHMAN’S OWNER IS ON A ROLL - AND HE DOESN’T WANT KEY EMPLOYEES OUT IN THE SPOTLIGHT CAUSING TROUBLE.

KERIBUT CONSTITUTIONALLY YOU CAN PROTEST JOSH - JUST LIKE WILL AND MYSELF. HE CAN’T FIRE YOU FOR EXERCISING YOUR RIGHTS

JOSHNO I THINK IT’S A GOOD IDEA AND FUN - MAYBE IT’LL WAKE UP THE BEARS TO OFFENSE.

WILLWE COULD BRING BACK MORRIS TO HOLD A SIGN. THAT WOULD BRING ATTENTION.

KERIHE’S DOWN AT THE BAYLOR BEARS ANNOUNCING GAMES - HE DIDN’T LAST HERE IN CHICAGO BECAUSE HE WAS ONE OF THE GUYS WHO ACTUALLY COULD CATCH A PASS.

JOSHWELL THAT WOULD BE TOUGH - JOHNNY IS HIGHLY RESPECTED AND I DON’T SEE HIM PROTESTING BEARS FOOTBALL IN MR. TOUGH GUY MIKE DITKA’S TOWN.

KERIHECK DITKA WOULD PROBABLY BREAK UP THE RALLY - OR WE’D HAVE TO PAY TO RESTRAIN HIM.

JOSHWELL ALL OF THIS WOULD GET NATIONAL AND EASILY LOCAL ATTENTION - WHICH IS WHAT WE WANT.

KERIWELL MAYBE LOU SHOULD BE ON THE BEARS STAFF. I DON’T KNOW WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING BECAUSE THIS IS SPORTS ABUSE - JUST LIKE CHILD OR ELDERLY ABUSE - SO MUCH SO THAT WE NEED COUNSELING.

14

WILLCAN YOU SUE FOR SPORTS ABUSE JOSH ?

JOSHWE NEED TO DO THE RALLY FIRST - BECAUSE JUST SUING IS THE CULTURAL WAY - LET’S FIND ALTERNATIVES - SUPPORT THE DRAFT, PROTEST WHEN WE SIGN MORE AND MORE DEFENSIVE GUYS AND LET FLEET HALFBACKS AND STRONG ARMS GO TO THE AFC. REMEMBER WE’VE BEATEN GREEN BAY RECENTLY.

KERII DON’T KNOW IF THAT MEANS ANYTHING ANYMORE - IS IT STILL A RIVALRY ?

WILLHELL YES - ASK ANY PLAYERS OR COACHES OR FANS FROM THE BORDER AT WEAGHMAN’S. BEARS/PACKERS IS STILL A BIG DEAL.

KERIWELL YOU JUST DON’T HEAR MUCH ABOUT IT ANY LONGER. THE SUPER BOWL REALLY CLOUDED EVERYTHING.

WILLTHOUGH HESTER RAN THE KICK OFF BACK - WE WERE OUT OF THE GAME SHORTLY THEREAFTER. WE CANNOT SCORE. I STILL THINK BRINGING MORRIS BACK FOR PASSING DRILLS MAKES SENSE.

JOSHFORGET IT WILL - LOTS OF THINGS ARE LOST ART PER OUR PARENTS - LIKE CATCHING A PASS, FIELDING A SHORT HOP, AND FREE THROWS - NO ONE PLAYS PICK UP. THEY SHOW UP FOR PRACTICE AND EXPECT TO LEARN SKILLS THERE. WHAT A JOKE.

WILLYOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT - WHEN I CAUGHT MY BOMBS IT DIDN’T HAPPEN FROM PRACTICE - IT OCCURRED BECAUSE I ALWAYS HAD MY HANDS ON A BALL.

JOSHYOGI BERRA SAID KIDS BASEBALL IS A JOKE AND SHOULDN’T BE COMPETITIVELY PLAYED UNTIL 8TH GRADE. HE ACTUALLY TIMED STUFF AND SAID THAT IN THE SAME TIME IT TOOK TO PLAY A BASEBALL GAME WITH ELEMENTARY SCHOOL KIDS WITH 2 - 3 AT BATS - THEY COULD’VE HAD 45 AT AT BATS PLAYING OLD FASHIONED WORKUP AT THE LOCAL PARK. WHO WILL BE A BETTER PLAYER ?

KERISO WE BRING MORRIS BACK TO PLAY PICKUP ? GET REAL GUYS !

WILLNO - BUT JOHNNY COULD ACTUALLY TAKE SOME GUYS AND DRILL SOME SKILLS INTO THEIR BRAINS AND BODIES TO NOT DROP PASSES. HECK THEY

15

DIDN’T EVEN COUNT DROPS WHEN MORRIS PLAYED BECAUSE MOST OF THE PASSES WERE CAUGHT.

KERIEVEN T.O. AND MOSS DROP PASSES - BUT NOT THAT MANY.

JOSHWELL - I BET THEY PLAYED PICK UP EVERYTHING - FOOTBALL, BASEBALL, BASKETBALL - YOU NAME IT - NOT TOTAL VIDEO GAMES. THEY HAD THEIR HANDS ON A BALL.

KERIJOSH - THIS GUY OVER THERE IS SIGNALING FOR COLBY. DOES WEAGHMAN’S PARK CARRY THAT ?

JOSHZUERCHER’S HAS EVERYTHING THAT THE WISCONSIN COUSINS HAVE - THEY WILL MAKE IT IF THEY DON’T HAVE IT.

KERIHOW ABOUT CHEESE CURDS ?

JOSHWE HAVE BAGS AND BAGS OF THESE. NEVER ENOUGH THOUGH - KIDS LIKE EM.

KERIWELL, I’M A KID AND I WANT SOME.

WILLTHEY PUT ON WEIGHT KERI. YOU’LL STILL GET YOUR BLIND DATES BUT WILL FAIL ON E-HARMONY WITH ELEVATED LIPID LEVELS.

JOSHSHUT UP WILL. LET HER ENJOY LIFE - THIS STUFF IN MODERATION IS OK. THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT OVER INDULGE ARE THESE BORDER GUYS THAT EAT BRATS FOR BREAKFAST.

KERISO YOU’LL GO DOWN TO THE COURTHOUSE ON MONDAY AND FILE FOR A PERMIT - WORDING IT CAREFULLY FOR A PUBLIC AREA NEAR AT OR NEAR SOLDIER FIELD WHERE WE CAN DEMONSTRATE ? PLEASE .

WILLYES JOSH - YOU GOTTA DO IT. YOU’VE GOT THE MBA/LEGAL CREDENTIALS TO PULL THIS OFF.

JOSHLET ME TALK TO MY BOSS FIRST.

16

KERIHE WON’T FIRE YOU - YOU HAVE AN ILLINOIS AND US RIGHT TO PROTEST PER THE FIRST AMENDMENT FREEDOM OF ASSOCIATION, SPEECH, AND ALL THAT - I REMEMBER THAT FROM COLLEGE - ONE OF THE VERY FEW THINGS I REALLY REMEMBERED.

WILLAND NO OTHER NEWSWORTHY THINGS GOING ON THAT DAY - LIKE INVASIONS, I-90 SHUTDOWNS, PC STUFF. IT HAS TO BE A DEAD DAY.

JOSHWHAT IF NO ONE SHOWS UP - OR THERE IS NO MEDIA COVERAGE ?

KERIWE’LL INFORM THE POWERS OF THE MEDIA - YOU KNOW FOX, WGN, SUN TIMES FOLKS, ETC..

WILLTHEY STILL MAY NOT SHOW UP - THINKING THIS IS A FARCE.

KERIWELL THEN WE NEED TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING THAT REALLY GETS EVERYONE’S ATTENTION.

WILLA ONE AND THREE RECORD DOESN’T ? GIVE ME A BREAK !

JOSHWE DIDN’T PROTEST THE CUBS IN JUNE WHEN THEY WERE FIGHTING AND COULDN’T FIELD A GROUNDER.

KERITHIS IS TOTALLY DIFFERENT JOSH - TOTALLY APPLES AND ORANGES. THE CUBS HAD LOU AND WE KNEW WE WERE A PRETTY DECENT TEAM - BUT JUST HADN’T PLAYED LIKE IT. THE BEARS ARE NOT ALL OF A SUDDEN GONNA SCORE 50.

JOSHUNLESS LOVIEPUTS HESTER IN THE BACKFIELD.

WILLI WILL ADMIT HE’S REALLY THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN GO NORTH SOUTH - OR KNOWS WHERE THE END ZONE IS.

KERILOOK JOSH - YOU AREN’T GONNA LOSE YOUR JOB OVER A BEARS PROTEST. IN FACT THE OWNER OF WEAGHMAN’S MAY LOOK AT THIS AS A WAY TO GET MORE BUSINESS - SPIN IT THAT WAY IF YOU MUST TELL HIM FIRST - MAYBE HE’LL WANT TO JOIN IN THE PROTEST.

WILLAND WE PROBABLY WON’T GET MORRIS UP HERE TO HOLD A PROTEST SIGN THAT SAYS PASS ON FIRST DOWN OCCASIONALLY.

17

KERII DON’T KNOW ANY OTHER WAY.

JOSHWELL THEY PROTESTED IN TIANANMEN SQUARE IN 1989 AND THERE WAS A MASSACRE.

KERISO YOU THINK THE BEARS AND THE CITY OF CHICAGO WOULD MASSACRE US IF WE STARTED PROTESTING FOR MORE OFFENSE. GIVE ME A BREAK JOSH. YOU ARE THE CONSTITUTIONALIST . HECK IF YOU DON’T WANT TO ASK FOR THE PERMIT AS AN ATTORNEY - WELL THEN I’LL DO IT. YOU ARE A PANSY.

JOSHCHILL KERI, I NEED TO REVIEW SOME STUFF ABOUT CHICAGO LAW, PERMITS, AND TRAFFIC. I JUST DON’T WANT TO GO DOWN THERE AND BE SHUT OFF TOTALLY FOR DOING STUPID STUFF. AS AN ATTORNEY YOU PREPARE.

KERIOK, YOU’VE GOT A WEEK - BECAUSE I CAN GUARANTEE YOU BY THE TIME WE GET OUR PERMIT - WE’LL BE LEAGUE LAST IN STATS WITH OUR OFFENSE.

WILLWELL THAT AREA BY NORTH BURNHAM PARK LOOKS GOOD - IT’S NEAR SOLDIER FIELD AND THERE ARE PEOPLE WALKING BY.

JOSHAND LET’S GO RECRUIT THE ACLU, MADISON AND JEFFERSON’S RELATIVES, THE COMMISSIONER, DALEY, OBAMA, AND WHOEVER ELSE WE CAN. I NEED TO STUDY THIS GANG.

KERIONE WEEK - YOU WON’T KNOW ANY MORE IN MORE TIME THAN THAT - BESIDES YOU’RE OUT OF SCHOOL AND NEED TO KEEP YOUR LAWYERING SKILLS UP. AND THE CUBS SEASON IS OVER EXCEPTING ALL THE RECRUITING AND FREE AGENCY STUFF WE’LL BE DOING.

WILLDO IT FOR US JOSH. IT’S SPORTS ABUSE. HEY HERE COMES ELLIOTTPER. STILL LOOKS SCRAGGLY TO ME.

KERIHEY ELLIOTT - WHAT ‘S UP ?

ELLIOTTOH JUST THE MOURNING GOING ON TONIGHT - BUT I’M MOURNING ABOUT OTHER STUFF.

18

KERIOK BABY ELLIOTT - WHAT IS WRONG NOW ?

ELLIOTTI JUST MISSED THE PART IN CYMBELINE AT THE CHICAGO SHAKESPEARE THEATER AT NAVY PIER - EVEN AS AN UNDERSTUDY.

WILLWELL ELLIOTTPER - I MEAN ELLIOTT, I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.

ELLIOTTI DOUBT IT WILL, I HAD PRACTICED FOR 3 SOLID MONTHS TALKING IN PARKS AND ON THE L - I REALLY HAD THE ACTING, EMOTIONS, WORDS - EVERYTHING DOWN - YOU JUST SHOWED UP FOR THE BEARS AND THEY TIMED YOU IN THE 40 AND SAID CUT OR PC TAXI SQUAD.

WILLWAIT A MINUTE ELLIOTT - IT WAS A BIT MORE THAN THAT - I WORKED OUT 3X A DAY FOR 3 MONTHS - JUST LIKE YOU AND MY 40 TIME WAS 4.39.

ELLIOTTBUT YOU COULDN’T CATCH A PASS - OR LOVIETHOUGHT YOU COULDN’T - BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU’D STILL BE THERE.

WILLYA HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ELLIOTT THAT THEY HAVE PAID PLAYERS THAT THEY MUST PLAY WHETHER THEY PLAY OR NOT - AND IF I BARELY BEATEM THEM OUT - WELL THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH BECAUSE THEN THEY HAVE TO PAY FOR 2 WIDE OUTS.

ELLIOTTWELL THEN FROM WHAT I’M HEARING YOU LOAFED BECAUSE WE AREN’T GETTING IT DONE THIS YEAR OFFENSIVELY - YOU CAN BLAME REX AND ALL THAT - BUT IT IS THE WHOLE TEAM - TRUST ME.

KERII’VE TOLD WILL TO PARK ON LUVY’S SIDEWALK AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS.

JOSHBETTER YET - IF WE HAD A PICKUP GAME FEATURING WILL ON LUVY’S STREET THAT WOULD EASILY SELL WILL.

KERIANOTHER PERMIT JOSH.

JOSHNO WAY KERI - I’LL BE KNOWN AS THE CHICAGO PROTESTOR AND I DON’T WANT THAT - EVENTUALLY I’LL BE DOWNTOWN IN THE WORKFORCE AND I DON’T WANT EVERYONE SAYING “ OH - YOU’RE THE GUY WHO PROTESTS EVERYTHING “

19

ELLIOTTWELL I THINK IT WOULD GET YOU A JOB PERSONALLY - CLIENTS WOULD WANT TO HAVE THE BURNHAM PROTESTOR WORKING FOR THEM.

JOSHWHERE DID YOU HEAR THIS STUFF ANYWAY ?

ELLIOTTOH - THEY’RE TALKING UP THE CONVERSATION FROM WEAGHMAN’S AT BERNIE’S TONIGHT - SOME LOUD MOUTH SAYS THE CLUB AT WEAGHMAN’S IS GOING TO PROTEST THE BEARS OFFENSE - WHICH I THINK IS A GREAT IDEA - AND WHILE YOU’RE AT IT - CAN YOU PROTEST THE SELECTION COMMITTEE AT THE CHICAGO SHAKESPEARE THEATER.

KERIYOUR TIME WILL COME ELLIOTT. TRUST ME. YOU’RE TOO GOOD NOT TO GET A BIG TIME JOB IN THE ARTS. MY GOD ELLIOTT YOU CAN PLAY EVERY INSTRUMENT PERFECTLY.

End - EpisodE 4, Clark and addison