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2015 Ernest N. Morial Convention Center • New Orleans • Louisiana
Coaching Not Telling
Sunday, Feb. 22, 2015
1:45 p.m. – 3:15 p.m.
Presented by
Todd Cohen
Sales Leader Philadelphia
American Rental Association 1900 19th St., Moline, IL 61265 800-334-2177 ARArental.org
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
“Coaching not Telling”
Coaching not Telling
Setting the Stage
Self Esteem and
Coaching for Future
Mutual
Validation
Creating Opportunity
Call to Action and
Accountability
Recognition
Coaching is Not Linear
Coaching IS Selling
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Why Does this Matter to Me?
6 E’s
1. Extension of great behaviors
2. Eradicates counterproductive behaviors
3. Ensures long term awesome employees
4. Earns more business
5. Educates and informs
6. Encourages people to reach and excel
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
7 Principles of Coaching Success
1. Builds strong and successful internal relationships and forms the basis for long term
relationship management
2. Builds confidence and trust which leads to a mutually desired outcome
3. Creates more opportunity to develop people and show them they matter and contribute
4. Creates a more profitable team and increases client and employee retention
5. Reinforces coworkers value and contribution to the bottom and top line
6. Is direct and has a point but not necessarily an end –coaching is long term investment by the
coach and the company
7. Coaching is a very refined form of selling underwritten by our ability to sell the need for
change
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
The Players in the Story of Coaching
“Coach” – the one offering counsel and guidance.
“Coachee” – the person receiving input.
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
The Three Types of Coaching
1. Positive: ( something right). The benefits of positive behavior
2. Negative: ( something needs corrected) Change that could help my
career, help the company. Everyone wins if delivered and received
3. None. Nothing changes, everything stays the same, I don’t feel
important
Its one human talking to another person.
That’s all this is.
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
A Few Words on Good Coaching Behaviors
Know the “secret of management.”
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Module 1
Every conversation is a “coaching moment”. There is a difference
between the act of coaching “up” someone’s performance and behavior and telling
someone to do something in order to achieve a desired result. Coaching is not always a
planned experience and often the best coaching happens in a serendipitous manner. The best
coaches always seek an opportunity to work with someone. I have often used the term
“walking around coach” to describe those who do not coach from the office but proactively
interact with peers and staff in a way that is engaging and in the moment. Coaching is not
imposing your view or giving a list of hay needs to be done. It is about a careful give and take
of how someone can be better. I have always used the “Oreo-cookie” model of coaching. I
start with something truly positive that the person does. I then introduce the topic at hand and
then finish with a positive note. I never tell anyone anything and I try to avoid statements like
“let me tell you how this needs to be done…..”. I try using words like “ I would like to suggest
……” or “ I have an idea that would hello this along…..”
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
“Coaching is a training or development process via which an
individual is supported while achieving a specific personal or
professional competence result or goal. Occasionally, the term coaching
may be applied to an informal relationship between two individuals
where one has greater experience and expertise than the other and
offers advice and guidance as the other goes through a learning process,
but coaching differs from mentoring by focusing upon competence
specifics, as opposed to general overall development.”
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
Coaching often more programmed and systematic
with milestones and goals.
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
“Coaching is not about telling the__________, but is
about helping an individual to find their___________
way.”
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
Mentoring is a form of coaching focusing on a longer term relationship
and proactive accountability.
1. Providing guidance and advise.
2. Helping with socialization into a new role.
3. Bringing in other expertise.
4. Providing feedback.
5. Helping with the “I don’t know what I don't know”
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
Telling is well….telling.
Nothing nutritional in it and stifles growth and change.
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
"If you choose to tell people things,
people will tell you in the form of
resistance and rejection."
- Michael Oliver
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
Every time you speak with someone it is a coaching
moment because you have the opportunity to
educate, influence performance and get ahead of
conflict
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching and Selling ARE the Same ….!
Coaching Selling Influencing an individuals behavior for change and
advancement
Influencing an individuals behavior to gain a decision for
a product
Ongoing relationship building to build trust for a safe
harbor to receive the messages
Ongoing relationship building to build trust for a safe
harbor to say “yes” to ideas, products and services
Both parties benefit from coaching and creating change Both parties benefit from creating a “yes” and creating
change
What's in it for me? What's in it for me?
Good salespeople are good coaches Good coaches are good salespeople
Helps the “coachee” see and accept concepts and
consequences for personal development and gain
agreement
Helps the customer see and accept concepts and
consequences of a decision for or against the bank and
gain agreement
Feedback based and bi-directional Feedback based and bi directional
Coaching requires objection handling skills Selling requires objection handling skills
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
“Don’t _____ what I'm not _____ you”
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
“Please don’t _____ what I'm not _____ to you”
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
Telling is linear, one directional and limiting
“Let me Just tell you what to do”
“I'm telling you ….”
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
We need to understand – if we don’t, how do we coach?
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
What to do the following coaching scenarios tell us about the
emotions that they are experiencing and we are seeing?
How does this feel to look at?
Coaching is direct and indirect – intrinsic learning
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
The man standing: The lady sitting:
______________ _____________
______________ _____________
______________ _____________
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
Coaching is bi-directional, open ended and keeps the door open
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Coaching, Telling and Mentoring
Being a coach and a mentor is often a volunteer experience and often
serendipitous.
Seeking out those opportunities is healthy, smart and proactive.
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Module 2
Effective coaches always think about and plan for the best
timing, atmosphere and location for a successful coaching
session. Coaching in an environment that is safe and secure for the both the coach
and the person being coached is paramount to having a successful session and outcome. I
can’t imagine anyone would like to be coached in an open atmosphere with many prying
ears especially of the message to be delivered is a tough one! Embarrassing someone is a
guaranteed way to make sure your message is not received! I remember when I was
coached by the best I was always asked, before any coaching began if I was ready and
willing to accept and receive coaching. Additionally a good coach acknowledges
willingness and readiness as well. Conversely a good coach knows when not to coach and
looks to set the stage at another time. I have always favored taking someone to coffee or
finding a nice place where we can both be relaxed. Going for a walk has always worked for
me. The trick is to avoid having the person being coached getting defensive and the right
location can keep everyone calm and in a good place to listen.
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Setting the Stage for Successful Coaching
Timing is everything…or is it?
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Setting the Stage for Successful Coaching
Is coaching always planned?
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Setting the Stage for Successful Coaching
When does coaching happen?
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Exercise – Opening
What is a highly effective “opening line” for a
successful coaching moment or session?
___________________________________
___________________________________
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Setting the Stage for Successful Coaching
Where does coaching happen?
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Exercise
Setting the stage and finding a place to coach is crucial
to successful coaching
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Exercise
The setting impacts the message being delivered
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Exercise – When to coach?
1. Deliver good news
2. Share good news
3. A tough review
4. Review performance issues
5. Discuss a personnel conflict
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Exercise
Five places coaching should happen here:
1. ______________
2. ______________
3. ______________
4. ______________
5. ______________
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Exercise
Five places coaching shouldn’t happen:
1. ______________
2. ______________
3. ______________
4. ______________
5. ______________
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Exercise – Where will you coach?
1. ________________________
2. ________________________
3. ________________________
4. ________________________
5. ________________________
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Communication Styles
Intuitive Style
“The Intuitive type refers to those people who are not terribly emotional, but who
are quite free form. Intuitive types don’t necessarily like things to flow from A to B
to C and so on. They like to cut to the chase, so it’s best to skip directly to the end:
what’s the real value you are bringing this person today? If you can get the Intuitive
types in your audience to buy in on the end result right away upfront, you’ve got a
much better shot at getting them to listen to all the other stuff you’ve got to say.”
-Mark Murphy Founder of Leadership IQ.
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Communication Styles
Analytical Style
“The Analytical type refers to those people who prefer things unemotional but
linear. These are your “just the facts” kinds of people. They don’t want to hear a lot
of warm-and-fuzzy feeling words, so don’t waste the Analytical-type communicator’s
time by telling them you understand their pain; instead just give them the numbers
and data they need and want.”
-Mark Murphy Founder of Leadership IQ.
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
DISC - Communication Styles
Functional Style
“The Functional type refers to people who generally like their communication to
be emotional and linear. These folks like to have control of the process so it’s always
best to move in a linear fashion: from A, to B, to C and then follow through right to
the end. If you try to skip around in your presentation or jump to the enticement of
your “wow” finish, you risk losing the attention of the Functional-type
communicator.”
-Mark Murphy Founder of Leadership IQ.
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Communication Styles
Personal Style
“The Personal relater is both free form and emotional. These are the folks who
want the warm-and-fuzzy emotional approach. So feel free to dive right into all the
details such as: Who else is going to be involved/ how getting involved will make
them “feel”/ who else they will touch by getting involved, etc. You can’t just come
in and dump a bunch of facts on personal-type communicators, even if they are
startling facts. These folks are still going to need a more interpersonal connection.”
-Mark Murphy Founder of Leadership IQ.
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Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
Exercise
Which style are you?
Copyright © 2014 Todd Cohen. All rights reserved. No reprints without permission.
“Coaching not Telling”
Coaching not Telling
Setting the
Stage
Self Esteem and
Coaching for Future
Mutual
Validation
Creating Opportunity
Call to Action and
Accountability
Recognition
Coaching is Not Linear
Coaching IS Selling
To learn more visit:
www.toddcohen.com
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