College EssaysCollege Essays

That WorkThat Work

What should my essay be What should my essay be about?about?

►Simply, answer the promptSimply, answer the prompt►Then, write about YOUThen, write about YOU

What makes you the individual that you What makes you the individual that you are (remember this writing prompt?)?are (remember this writing prompt?)?

The admissions folks want to know about The admissions folks want to know about you as a person, not you as a robotyou as a person, not you as a robot

Our experiences, beliefs, influences, etc., Our experiences, beliefs, influences, etc., are what make us who we are, SO WRITE are what make us who we are, SO WRITE ABOUT THEM!ABOUT THEM!

Still don’t know what to write Still don’t know what to write about?about?

►Use the stream-of-consciousness write Use the stream-of-consciousness write you did in class as a starting pointyou did in class as a starting point

►OR write about:OR write about: An article of clothingAn article of clothing The groups in your school and where you The groups in your school and where you

fit infit in A family gathering or traditionA family gathering or tradition Your walk or ride to schoolYour walk or ride to school Your favorite thingsYour favorite things

Don’t be afraid to write about Don’t be afraid to write about nothingnothing

► What?What?► Though the big win on the soccer pitch may be a Though the big win on the soccer pitch may be a

great story to tell, it will reveal little about the great story to tell, it will reveal little about the person you are (except that you are an athlete, person you are (except that you are an athlete, which they will know from your resume)which they will know from your resume)

► If you write about this, be sure to incorporate If you write about this, be sure to incorporate lessons learned, flashbacks, etc., that include self-lessons learned, flashbacks, etc., that include self-disclosuredisclosure

► OR, write about something small that allows you to OR, write about something small that allows you to self-reflectself-reflect

► After all, the topic of the essay isn’t the event; it’s After all, the topic of the essay isn’t the event; it’s YOU! The event is simply a vehicle to write about YOU! The event is simply a vehicle to write about you.you.

Some Tips:Some Tips:

► Stand out by being yourselfStand out by being yourself You are the most interesting topic, so write about You are the most interesting topic, so write about youyou, not , not

about politics, sports, etc., about politics, sports, etc., ► Be sure to allow your personality to shine throughBe sure to allow your personality to shine through► Details, detailsDetails, details

Include anecdotes, thoughts, and observations that are Include anecdotes, thoughts, and observations that are unique to youunique to you

► Tell a storyTell a story Use lots of nouns and verbs; tell us about the time your Use lots of nouns and verbs; tell us about the time your

friend locked her keys in her car, rather than just saying friend locked her keys in her car, rather than just saying she’s spacey; she’s spacey; showshow, don’t tell, don’t tell

► Think metaphoricallyThink metaphorically Use comparisons as necessary (similes and metaphors) to Use comparisons as necessary (similes and metaphors) to

make your experiences come alivemake your experiences come alive

A look at “Show, Don’t Tell”A look at “Show, Don’t Tell”

►Think of a friend and then an adjective Think of a friend and then an adjective to describe him or her (a specific to describe him or her (a specific adjective). Without using the word or adjective). Without using the word or any synonyms, write a paragraph that any synonyms, write a paragraph that shows why the adjective describes the shows why the adjective describes the person. You’ll be forced to use person. You’ll be forced to use anecdotes to show why, which is anecdotes to show why, which is exactly the sort of writing that you exactly the sort of writing that you need for a college essay.need for a college essay.

Do show that you:Do show that you:

►Have a sense of humorHave a sense of humor►Value diversityValue diversity►Embrace learningEmbrace learning►Notice the little thingsNotice the little things►Are deeply committed to an activity or Are deeply committed to an activity or

ideaidea►Can overcome adversityCan overcome adversity►Have initiativeHave initiative

Do NOT show that you:Do NOT show that you:

►Are cynicalAre cynical►Think you are a finished productThink you are a finished product►Are likely to turn inward in collegeAre likely to turn inward in college►Are depressedAre depressed►Are self-destructiveAre self-destructive►Lack integrityLack integrity►Tend to blame othersTend to blame others

Crafting the NarrativeCrafting the Narrative

►The MOST important sentence in your The MOST important sentence in your essay in the FIRST sentenceessay in the FIRST sentence Each application gets about 10 minutes, 3 Each application gets about 10 minutes, 3

are spent on the essay, so grab the are spent on the essay, so grab the reader’s attention right away! Make her reader’s attention right away! Make her WANT to read it!WANT to read it!

Start with:Start with:►An anecdoteAn anecdote►A zinger (that grabs attention)A zinger (that grabs attention)►A straightforward statementA straightforward statement

The anecdoteThe anecdote

► ““Now I was standing at the front of the room, Now I was standing at the front of the room, using what little artistic coordination I had to using what little artistic coordination I had to draw a great big figure on the board: yes, draw a great big figure on the board: yes, those had to be eyes, an L-shaped nose, those had to be eyes, an L-shaped nose, wrinkled eyebrows, a gaping O for a mouth. I wrinkled eyebrows, a gaping O for a mouth. I added little stress lines on either corner of the added little stress lines on either corner of the cheeks, just to show how intent my hastily cheeks, just to show how intent my hastily composed figure was on examining this composed figure was on examining this “Sylvan historian, who canst thus express a “Sylvan historian, who canst thus express a flowery tale more sweetly than our rhymeflowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme” ” (Essay 3).(Essay 3).

The ZingerThe Zinger

►About the pitfalls of being known as a About the pitfalls of being known as a feminist:feminist:

““Sometime between waking up at the Sometime between waking up at the crack of dawn and fourth period I crack of dawn and fourth period I became a teenage werewolf. No, wait, became a teenage werewolf. No, wait, I mean feminist.”I mean feminist.”

The Straightforward The Straightforward StatementStatement

►““E2V2’ was my own creation and I E2V2’ was my own creation and I would drive it in BattleBotsIQ 2003, a would drive it in BattleBotsIQ 2003, a national robotics competition. I felt national robotics competition. I felt my body tense for the battle against my body tense for the battle against the spinbot, Chromedome” (Essay 9).the spinbot, Chromedome” (Essay 9).

And?And?

►Manage the flow with smooth Manage the flow with smooth transitionstransitions

►Conclude with a “kicker”– a final Conclude with a “kicker”– a final sentence that echoes the beginning or sentence that echoes the beginning or provides an unexpected twistprovides an unexpected twist

►EDIT, EDIT, EDIT!EDIT, EDIT, EDIT! Don’t underestimate your ability to make Don’t underestimate your ability to make

silly mistakessilly mistakes

Common Silly MistakesCommon Silly Mistakes

► Common Error:Common Error:► CalculasCalculas► CollageCollage► CouncilorCouncilor► Financial aideFinancial aide► Honor roleHonor role► Perspective studentPerspective student► PrepatoryPrepatory► PsycologyPsycology► DefiantlyDefiantly

► Correct Form:Correct Form:► CalculusCalculus► CollegeCollege► CounselorCounselor► Financial aidFinancial aid► Honor rollHonor roll► Prospective studentProspective student► PreparatoryPreparatory► PsychologyPsychology► DefinitelyDefinitely

Other things to avoid:Other things to avoid:

► Lack of a main ideaLack of a main idea►Weak verbsWeak verbs► Passive voicePassive voice► Failure to use “I”Failure to use “I”►Double-dipping adjectives (just choose one)Double-dipping adjectives (just choose one)► Too many simple sentencesToo many simple sentences►WordinessWordiness►Messed-up tensesMessed-up tenses► Trusting the spell-checkTrusting the spell-check► Unwillingness to start overUnwillingness to start over

Do:Do:

►Write about you!Write about you!►Edit repeatedly!Edit repeatedly!►Write this essay NOW!Write this essay NOW!

----Real College Essays that WorkReal College Essays that Work by by Edward B. Fiske and Bruce G. Edward B. Fiske and Bruce G. HammondHammond