Commentary

So What?

Fact vs. Opinion

A fact is________________. An opinion is_______________.An example of a fact is_______.An example of an opinion

is_______.

Add commentary video clip here

Fact vs. Opinion

Fact Opinion

Concrete Detail Definition

• Specific details, evidence used to support a topic sentence

CONCRETE DETAILSare• facts • specifics • examples • descriptions• support • proof or• evidence about a topic in an essay.

Commentary Definition

• Your comments about a topic

COMMENTARYmeans your• opinion • interpretation • insight • analysis • personal response • feeling or• evaluation about a concrete detail in an essay.

How are concrete details different from commentary?

Concrete Detail Commentary

FACTS specifics examples

descriptionssupport

proofevidence

OPINIONinterpretation

insight analysis

personal response feeling

evaluation

How will commentary help my writing?

• It will make your essays much more interesting to read

• It will improve the voice in your writing

• It will require you to use higher level thinking

• It gives more support to your concrete detail

Beware…

• Commentary is hard to write• It requires a lot of thinking• Insightful commentary demands extra effort• It will take practice to get good at it• Commentary does not have right answers• It could take more than 3 months of practice to feel

confident and fluent about writing commentary

If you keep at it, commentary will get easier

Now let’s go back to fact vs. opinion

The classroom was chaotic and loud. The student desks were a mess, paper littered the floor, and spit balls were stuck to the ceiling. Paper airplanes were flying and one kid even opened up a window and threw out a sharpened pencil strategically aimed at an innocent student.

Fact paragraph #2

Recently, I went to the beach with my family. The day we went it was stormy and black clouds seemed to hang in the air deliberating as to whether to drop bucket loads of water on my family. The wind was strong causing the waves to crash loudly on the shore. The undertow of some waves nearly swept us out to sea.

Fact paragraph #3 On our vacation last summer in San Diego

I was almost attacked by a shark. While I was lazily floating along on my dollar store raft I noticed a sudden movement to the right of me. I quickly turned to look and saw the shark’s lower jawbone thrust forward toward my unsuspecting right leg. That’s when I decided to high tail it back to the safety of the beach and my mom’s welcoming arms. Unfortunately, sharks were the highlight of my summer vacation.

You did it- you wrote commentary!

• Commentary is simply an opinion (a comment) about a concrete detail (facts).

• So when you are stuck about what to write for commentary, think to yourself, “What is my opinion about __________?”

• Concrete Detail + Commentary= Your essay’s evidence

Hmm, What is my opinion about __________?”

How will you add commentary into your writing?

Begin by following this paragraph formula-Sentence One: Topic sentence (TS)Sentence Two: Concrete Detail (CD)Sentence Three: Commentary (CM)Sentence Four: Concrete Detail (CD)Sentence Five: Commentary (CM)Sentence Six: Concluding sentence (CS)

2 Concrete Details per paragraph

In order to write commentary you first need to have elaborated concrete details.

Your concrete details must include:DescriptionExamplesAnecdotesFacts/Statistics

SHOW DON’T TELL!!!

Example of a paragraph with elaborated concrete details

My bedroom is the place where I like to relax and let go of the day’s worries. For example, I can play any music I want, from my dad’s old jazz recordings of Miles Davis to my own Chris Brown MP3 files. In addition, in my room I have a large screen 42” plasma TV with all my favorite Simpson episodes recorded.

Topic sentence

Concrete Details that use specific examples

How should I start my commentary?

Use a sentence starter

This shows that…

Now let’s look at commentary in a paragraph

My bedroom is the place where I like to relax and let go of the day’s worries. For example, I can play any music I want, from my dad’s old jazz recordings of Miles Davis to my own Chris Brown MP3 files. This shows that my various musical interests help me to wind down after a long hard day at school and sports practice. In addition, in my room I have a large screen 42” plasma TV with all my favorite Simpson episodes recorded. This shows that my room is a place I can flop on my bed and zone out while I listen while Bart makes his family’s life crazy. Bedrooms are a place where a teenager can regroup after a long day.

TS

CS

CD

CD

CM

CM

Now it is your turn- let’s highlight and label!

The classroom was chaotic and loud. The student desks were a mess, paper littered the floor, and spit balls were stuck to the ceiling. This shows that the room was a complete disaster and repulsively dirty. Paper airplanes were flying and one kid even opened up a window and threw out a sharpened pencil strategically aimed at an innocent student. This shows that the teacher had lost control and the students didn’t respect her or each other. The classroom was a complete debacle.

Did you highlight and label correctly?

The classroom was chaotic and loud. The student desks were a mess, paper littered the floor, and spit balls were stuck to the ceiling. This shows that the room was a complete disaster and repulsively dirty. Paper airplanes were flying and one kid even opened up a window and threw out a sharpened pencil strategically aimed at an innocent student. This shows that the teacher had lost control and the students didn’t respect her or each other. The classroom was a complete debacle.

TS

CD

CD

CM

CM

CS

Let’s try it again- highlight and label!!!

Recently, I went to the beach with my family. The day we went it was stormy and black clouds seemed to hang in the air deliberating as to whether to drop bucket loads of water on my family. This shows that the weather at the beach can sometimes be unpredictable and annoying. The wind was strong causing the waves to crash loudly on the shore. The undertow of some waves nearly swept us out to sea. This shows that being at the beach on a stormy day can be dangerous. This outing with my family is one I will not forget.

Did you highlight and label correctly?

Recently, I went to the beach with my family. The day we went it was stormy and black clouds seemed to hang in the air deliberating as to whether to drop bucket loads of water on my family. This shows that the weather at the beach can sometimes be unpredictable and annoying. The wind was strong causing the waves to crash loudly on the shore. The undertow of some waves nearly swept us out to sea. This shows that being at the beach on a stormy day can be dangerous. This outing with my family is one I will not forget.

TS

CD

CM

CS

CM

CD

Now highlight and label on your own!

On our vacation last summer in San Diego I was almost attacked by a shark. While I was lazily floating along on my dollar store raft I noticed a sudden movement to the right of me. This shows how caught off guard I was due to my enjoyment of the ocean’s movement. I quickly turned to look and saw the shark’s lower jawbone thrust forward toward my unsuspecting right leg. That’s when I decided to high tail it back to the safety of the beach and my mom’s welcoming arms. This shows that I am quick thinker and able to get myself back to safety. Sharks were unfortunately the highlight of my summer vacation.

Did you highlight and label correctly?

On our vacation last summer in San Diego I was almost attacked by a shark. While I was lazily floating along on my dollar store raft I noticed a sudden movement to the right of me. This shows how caught off guard I was due to my enjoyment of the ocean’s movement. I quickly turned to look and saw the shark’s lower jawbone thrust forward toward my unsuspecting right leg. That’s when I decided to high tail it back to the safety of the beach and my mom’s welcoming arms. This shows that I am quick thinker and able to get myself back to safety. Sharks were unfortunately the highlight of my summer vacation.

TS

CD

CD

CM

CM

CS

Now you write the commentary

The classroom was chaotic and loud. The student desks were a mess, paper littered the floor, and spit balls were stuck to the ceiling. This shows that _________________________. Paper airplanes were flying and one kid even opened up a window and threw out a sharpened pencil strategically aimed at an innocent student. This shows that__________________. The classroom was a complete debacle.

Recently, I went to the beach with my family. The day we went it was stormy and black clouds seemed to hang in the air deliberating as to whether to drop bucket loads of water on my family. This shows that______________________________. The wind was strong causing the waves to crash loudly on the shore. The undertow of some waves nearly swept us out to sea. This shows that_______________________. This outing with my family is one I will not forget.

On our vacation last summer in San Diego I was almost attacked by a shark. While I was lazily floating along on my dollar store raft I noticed a sudden movement to the right of me. This shows how_______________________________________. I quickly turned to look and saw the shark’s lower jawbone thrust forward toward my unsuspecting right leg. That’s when I decided to high tail it back to the safety of the beach and my mom’s welcoming arms. This shows that_______________________________________. Sharks were unfortunately the highlight of my summer vacation.

Test Time!!

The homeless, disheveled man and his dog stood on the side of the road. He held up a ragged cardboard sign begging for money and food. This shows that the man was obviously poor, and without acquiring money he would go hungry and cold for another night. Ten cars passed the man without even a glance in his direction. As the number of cars passed without giving him a donation, the homeless man began banging on the car windshields. This shows the desperation of the man and his desire to survive in this difficult world. The homeless man and his dog continued to stand on the road waiting.

Test Time!!

The homeless, disheveled man and his dog stood on the side of the road. He held up a ragged cardboard sign begging for money and food. This shows that_________________________________________. Ten cars passed the man without even a glance in his direction. As the number of cars passed without giving him a donation, the homeless man began banging on the car windshields. This shows that ________________________________________. The homeless man and his dog continued to stand on the road waiting.

Teacher Answer Guide

The homeless, disheveled man and his dog stood on the side of the road. He held up a ragged cardboard sign begging for money and food. This shows that the man was obviously poor, and without acquiring money he would go hungry and cold for another night. Ten cars passed the man without even a glance in his direction. As the number of cars passed without giving him a donation, the homeless man began banging on the car windshields. This shows the desperation of the man and his desire to survive in this difficult world. The homeless man and his dog continued to stand on the road waiting.

TS

CS

CD

CD

CM

CM

Teachers- for additional practice

The next set of slides are for teachers to use as extra practice to assist students in locating and labeling commentary. Teacher can use these as an entry activity for short, quick, ongoing practice with using commentary.

Disgusting!!!!

• The bowl of rotted fruit forlornly sat on the kitchen counter. The blackened banana oozed its slimy, baby food-like contents. A juicy, flesh-colored worm crawled its way out of the brown, mushy apple.

The Mischievous Kitten

• Cleopatra, the queen of the house, took her naughtiness seriously. She routinely jumped onto the kitchen counter while her master cooked dinner, sampling the evening’s cuisine. Each night she created a comfortable nest on her owner's pillow before retiring for her beauty rest.

BOOOOOOO!!!!!!

October 31st always proved to be fun at the haunted house exhibit. Oftentimes, you are blindfolded and asked to place your hand in a bowl of chilled and peeled grapes that feel like eyeballs! As you walk along the musty hallway, people will jump out and scream at you while the chilly breeze freezes your perspiration of fear.

That Ain’t Bigfoot!

• The monster was stunningly hideous. Bright red blood dripped from his elongated, fanged incisors. His yellowed, razor- sharp claws were poised to rip at my unprotected neck.

The War in Iraq

Violence throughout Iraq seems to have increased heavily since the U.S. has made its presence in Iraq. According to a study by the American Friends Service Committee on the civilians in Iraq," Since the U.S. made itself present, the number of resistant fighters has increased heavily from 5,000 in November 2003 to 20,000 in November 2005.” This means that Iraqis are joining in the fight to rid us from their native home and it is simply not safe to be there anymore. A recent study in the Washington Post said the attacks in Iraq have reached a new high last month of 180 deaths. As one can see, violence against Americans in Iraq is heavily increasing and we need to take action now if we are to minimize the loss of U.S. soldiers. Judging by the current statistics, we need to be concerned about the violence in America.

The War in Iraq

Violence throughout Iraq seems to have increased heavily since the U.S. has made its presence in Iraq. According to a study by the American Friends Service Committee on the civilians in Iraq," Since the U.S. made itself present, the number of resistant fighters has increased heavily from 5,000 in November 2003 to 20,000 in November 2005.” This means that Iraqis are joining in the fight to rid us from their native home and it is simply not safe to be there anymore. A recent study in the Washington Post said the attacks in Iraq have reached a new high last month of 180 deaths. As one can see, violence against Americans in Iraq is heavily increasing and we need to take action now if we are to minimize the loss of U.S. soldiers. Judging by the current statistics, we need to be concerned about the violence in America.

Teen Obesity Teen obesity is becoming a national problem.

Part of the 2005 statistics report released by Trust for America’s Healthy shows that 65% of American adults are overweight or obese, and it is estimated to increase to 75% by 2008. This points out the idea that many people underestimate their weight or are just ignorant to the fact that obesity is dangerous to their health. Many doctors have stated the importance of exercising as part of teens’ everyday routine. This points out the possibility that proper nutrition and regular exercise should be taken by these young adolescents if they want to have a healthy life. Unfortunately, at the present time, teen obesity is rising rapidly.

Teen Obesity Teen obesity is becoming a national problem.

Part of the 2005 statistics report released by Trust for America’s Healthy shows that 65% of American adults are overweight or obese, and it is estimated to increase to 75% by 2008. This points out the idea that many people underestimate their weight or are just ignorant to the fact that obesity is dangerous to their health. Many doctors have stated the importance of exercising as part of teens’ everyday routine. This points out the possibility that proper nutrition and regular exercise should be taken by these young adolescents if they want to have a healthy life. Unfortunately, at the present time, teen obesity is rising rapidly.

Steroid Use in High Schools The use of steroids in high schools is becoming a

national problem. More than two thirds of student athletes are using steroids and the National Institute of Drug Abuse says that steroids can cause liver problems, growth problems, depression and even death. This illustrates that when these facts are directly presented to us, there should be no question as to whether or not we should be more strictly testing high school athletes. Research also says that many athletes use steroids so they can make the varsity teams and eventually college scouts will notice them. This points out the idea that these young adults will do anything to succeed and that it is our responsibility to test for steroids so these people can survive their youth and grow up to be contributing citizens. Steroids are indeed a problem for all of us.

Steroid Use in High Schools The use of steroids in high schools is becoming a

national problem. More than two thirds of student athletes are using steroids and the National Institute of Drug Abuse says that steroids can cause liver problems, growth problems, depression and even death. This illustrates that when these facts are directly presented to us, there should be no question as to whether or not we should be more strictly testing high school athletes. Research also says that many athletes use steroids so they can make the varsity teams and eventually college scouts will notice them. This points out the idea that these young adults will do anything to succeed and that it is our responsibility to test for steroids so these people can survive their youth and grow up to be contributing citizens. Steroids are indeed a problem for all of us.