communication is hard - tips to be more effective
TRANSCRIPT
Laura Creekmore / August 2016 / @lauracreekmoreWHY COMMUNICATION IS SO HARD (and how to fix it)
You might think I’m an expert on getting these details right. But really, I’ve just messed them up in lots of ways.
Learn from my mistakes!
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
—George Bernard Shaw
I’ve always loved this quote:
The tips I’m sharing will help you ensure communication really happens!
Let’s start with a big pain point:
ADDRESS THE EMAIL LAST
WHY:It’s basic, but it prevents a lot of trouble, like accidentally telling someone something they aren’t supposed to know...or sending a half-written email.
DON’T USE BCC—EXCEPT…
WHY: Someone who’s bcc’ed doesn’t notice, and they reply all.
And reply all is never a good idea.
Stay tuned for the exception to the no-BCC rule.
PUT YOUR MOBILE NUMBER IN EVERY EMAIL
WHY:It’s annoying to have to ask for your mobile number.
Put it in your signature on emails and replies.
INCLUDE ALL INFO IN CONFIRMATIONS
WHY:We create crazy email chains setting up a meeting…and then we have to re-read the whole chain later to figure out when and where to be. Let’s stop the madness.
?This is crazy, amiright?
?Even worse, here’s how it looks on your phone.
So much better: All the info we need in the final email.
Make it happen!
READ THE EMAIL OUT LOUD
WHY:I’m not going to fuss if you don’t do this on every email. But if you’re sharing meeting information, or if it’s important, please do! You’ll catch errors you don’t see when you re-read.
HANDLE TONE VERY, VERY CAREFULLY.
WHY: We count on tone and facial expressions a lot in communication...and via email, we can’t see those.
A quick storyWe don’t always get this right in person, either.
Once my daughter and I were at a program, and she whispered, I really have to go to the bathroom.
I wanted to reassure her that it was fine to slip out, so I said:
No one will miss you.
That’s right. No one will miss you.
Now, in the indirect, Southern way of saying things, that means:
It’s fine to leave right now.
But what my daughter heard was:
We don’t care if you’re here at all and we won’t miss you when you leave.
That’s right. No one will miss you.
If we can mess tone up this badly when we’re actually talking to each other in person, how much worse can it get when we’re mediating our conversations with multiple forms of technology, and text instead of actual voices and tones?
LOTS LOTS WORSE
So yeah, read your emails out loud before you send. Look for those phrases like, “No one will miss you,” that actually have two opposite meanings, and re-word them!
USE PUNCTUATION AND EMOJIS
WHY:I hear you gasping. But in an informal email or text, exclamation points, emoticons and emojis help convey a light tone. You can’t smile via email. But you can emoji.
Details
BE THE SECRETARY
WHY:We lose track of meeting details. If you will always take the responsibility to send the calendar invite, you’ll know everyone has the info, including you.
YOU MAKE THE CALL
WHY:It’s easy to set a phone meeting without figuring out the details. Take the responsibility and just include this sentence in your confirmation email:
I’ll call you at ____. What number is best?
USE A SCHEDULING APP
WHY: Because scheduling apps are way less annoying than email chains.
Here are two to try:
https://doodle.com
KEEP TRACK OF YOUR OWN WORK
WHY:You can’t depend on timely reply emails to meet your deadlines. If you need info by a date, tell your correspondent, then set a reminder on your own to-do list to follow up.
USE A CONTACT FILE
WHY:Once you get someone’s contact info, keep it! Make sure your contacts sync to all devices and the cloud.
Phone
RE-CONSIDER VOICEMAIL
WHY:Lots of people don’t use it anymore. [Trying texting instead.] Ask if someone prefers voicemail [and then make a note in your contact file].
TALK SLOWER IN VOICEMAIL
WHY: Because you hate people who talk too fast on yours.
Slow down even more when you share your phone number or email address.
Intros
INTRODUCE PEOPLE RESPECTFULLY
WHY:Introducing people right makes you look good. Ask permission of both parties, THEN email to connect them.
They can bcc you to let you know they connected and then make their own arrangements to meet.
Like this:
END GOAL:
INTENTIONAL
INFORMATIONAL
RESPECTFUL
COMMUNICATE ON PURPOSE
