communication skill

COMMUNICATION SKILLS-VVM 1

COMMUNICATION SKILLS & SELF ESTEEM

A PRESENTATIONBY

V.VIJAYAMOHAN DGM (TF), NATFM


WHAT IS COMMUNICATION ?WHAT IS COMMUNICATION ?

TRANSFER OF MEANINGS (Thoughts, Ideas, Feelings …)Through Words, Actions …

FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER

TRANSFER OF MEANINGS (Thoughts, Ideas, Feelings …)Through Words, Actions …

FROM ONE PERSON TO ANOTHER

THIS IS COMMUNICATION !THIS IS COMMUNICATION !


SOME FACTS ABOUT COMMUNICATION


• We can never really stop communicating at any moment of our life.

• Our silence also communicates – some times as much as, and some times more than our words and gestures.

• Our communication may be good or bad – effective or ineffective – conscious or unconscious – but it goes on happening all the time




• WE COMMUNICATE WITH ANIMALS, BIRDS & INSECTS TOO – AND SO DO THEY , WITH US.

• What Forms Of Communication Do We Adopt? – Oral sounds (& Other Sounds) – Writing & Graphics– Gestures, Postures,& Other Acts – Smell – Eye-to-Eye contact … – Touch


• ONE TO ONE – (FIX YOUR OBJECTIVE : THOUGHT, FEELING, ACTION)

• ONE TO MANY ( WHY, TO WHOM, WHAT,WHAER,WHEN )

• MANY TO ONE

• MANY TO MANY




TYPICAL COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS.. I am not going toAllow you to sayAny thing,..You….

Look at this !!

COOK ALL THIS…..???

My Husband wanted.. .

Why should I cook

Am Busy now!!

Look at this !


COMMON PROBLEMS OF PERSONAL COMMUNICATION

FOR SPEAKER

Language Barriers

Physical Problems

(tired, stuttering, ill-health etc)

Fear, Shyness, Anger…

Lack of enthusiasm & commitment to speak

Lack of knowledge of subject

Inability to understand listener’s mind-frame

Lack of (sufficient) interest in the Listener

Lack of an objective in communication

Lack of time, place & opportunity (at times)…



2.FOR LISTENER

Most Problems of speaker

Body present - Mind absent

Dislike / Distrust of speaker / Subject

Pre-conceptions & Contrary views

Selective Listening

Tired/sleepy/ Heavy food/ drink

Speech-Listening mis-match

JARGON, Monotonous tone



3.OTHER PROBLEMS

Noise

Air

Too pleasant surroundings

Too unpleasant surroundings

Too many speaking simultaneously

Other un-expected happenings

Breakage of medium /signals


SOME COMMON PROBLEMS & FAILURES OF ORGANIZATIONAL COMMUNICATION

• INVISIBLE BOSS Feels, familiarity breeds contempt;doesn’t feel, he is primus inter pares

• UNHAPPY CUSTOMER Customer service becomes Lip Service : Words come from the mouth only; Not from the heart; No one really cares for customer;

• THE NERVOUS SPEAKER Trying to be some one else; Lacks preparation, naturalness, confidence and enthusiasm; Can try to be his (best) self;

• THE TALKATIVE CHAIRMAN Fond of his own voice; Never ends/begins on time; Never allows others to express; Finds difficulty to listen

• NETMA LTD Nobody Ever Tells Me Anything; I see it only in news paper / Web site

• THE ABRASIVE WALKIE-TALKIE:- Talks abrasively, abusively , & hurtingly; but doesn’t either notice his EFFECT, or doesn’t care

• THE PLEASE-ALL & REPENT ALONE :- Can’t tell what needs to be done; Talks all else; But, feels why people don’t do what they should !


EFFECTS OF COMMUNICATION• EACH COMMUNICATION WE SEND OUT HAS SOME EFFECT ON THE

PEOPLE (& ANIMALS) WHO RECEIVE IT• LIKE WISE, EACH COMMUNICATION WE RECEIVE HAS SOME

EFFECT ON US TOO• GOOD & EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN MAKE US VERY HAPPY

!!• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN ALSO MAKE US WELL-

INFORMED AND KNOWLEDGEABLE – AND CONSEQUENTLY MORE RESPECTED AND PROSPEROUS

• COMMUNICATIONS CAN ALSO MAKE US (A) UNHAPPY, (B) ANGRY , (C) JEALOUS, (D) MOROSE OR (E) MAD… !

• SOME COMMUNICATIONS CAN CAUSE SO MUCH STRESS TO PEOPLE THAT SOME OF THEM MAY EVEN DIE !!

• SO WHAT DO WE GAIN BY EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION? IS IT NOT OBVIOUS ?

• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN ANY ORGANIZATION IS A GREAT TOOL FOR ITS SURVIVAL, GROWTH AND POPULARITY.

• INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN HIT THE ORGANIZATION ADVERSELY AND LEAD TO ITS DOWNFALL

• EACH COMMUNICATION WE SEND OUT AFFECTS THE PEOPLE (& ANIMALS ETC) WHO RECEIVE IT IN SOME WAY OR OTHER

• LIKE WISE, COMMUNICATIONS WE RECEIVE AFFECT US TOO• SOME COMMUNICATIONS CAN MAKE US VERY HAPPY !!• SOME COMMUNICATIONS CAN MAKE US WELL-INFORMED AND

KNOWLEDGEABLE – AND CONSEQUENTLY MORE RESPECTED AND PROSPEROUS IN THE SOCIETY

• SOME COMMUNICATIONS CAN MAKE US (A) UNHAPPY (B) ANGRY (C) JEALOUS (D) MOROSE OR (E) MAD… !

• SOME COMMUNICATIONS CAN CAUSE SO MUCH STRESS TO PEOPLE THAT SOME OF THEM MAY EVEN DIE !!

• ALL LEADERS ARE EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATORS. SO, ARE ALL HAPPY PEOPLE IN THE SOCIETY

• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION IN ANY ORGANIZATION IS A GREAT TOOL FOR ITS SURVIVAL, GROWTH AND POPULARITY.

• INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION CAN HIT THE ORGANIZATION ADVERSELY AND LEAD TO ITS DOWNFALL


Effective Communication Process • Understand your OBJECTIVE in communicating• Determine the PROPER PERSON to communicate with• Determine the PROPER TIME to communicate• Assess the PROPER ENVIRONMENT to communicate• Frame the MESSAGE correctly & clearly• Add VERBAL , NON-VERBAL & EMOTIONAL

COMPONENTS correctly• Then, COMMUNICATE !• Watch the FEED BACK i.e., Listen Carefully Now• Assess clearly the IMMEDIATE RESULTS of your

communication• ADJUST your communication – if feed back does not match your

expectation – and START THE COMMUNICATION again• Become aware, when you have achieved YOUR OBJECTIVE• YOUR EFFECTIVENESS AS COMMUNICATOR IS ALSO A

FUNCTION OF YOUR ATTITUDE TO YOUR LISTENER


Effective Communication –A Few ANCIENT Rules

• TALK TRUTH• TALK SWEET• TALK NOT UNSWEET TRUTHS << for insufficient

causes >> • TALK NOT SWEET UNTRUTHS• TALK – KNOWING THE AUDIENCE • TALK – KNOWING THE TIME (CONTEXT)• TALK – KNOWING THE PLACE• TALK- WITH EMPATHY• TALK- WITH ENTHUSIASM• TALK NOT – WHEN YOU SHOULD NOT• DO TALK – WHEN YOU SHOULD - FOR A GREAT

GOOD


CONNECTINGCONNECTING

• Establish Same Wavelength with the Listeners• Your audience don’t care how much you know or tell -

until they know how much you care• Connecting + Liking must be made to go together. • Be ware, People can connect with strong dislikes also, if

focus is on same thing


ACTIVE LISTENING

• STAY IN THE PRESENT • ACTIVE LISTENING HAPPENS IN THE PRESENT ONLY• STAY TUNED TO THE PERSON. STAY TUNED TO THE

CONTENT.TAKE NOTES. • STAY TUNED TO THE CONTENT.TAKE NOTES. • APPRECIATE POINTS. SEEK CLARIFICATIONS. • CONNECT TO ALL RELATED INFO IN YOUR MENTAL SPACE • YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND A WORD OR SENTENCE ?

FINE, REMEMBER IT, BUT MOVE ON – ELSE, REST OF THE COMMUNICATION SINKS INTO OBLIVION

• ENJOY LISTENING – BE INTERESTED & ENTHUSIASTIC• TAKE CARE OF SENSORY PROBLEMS, DISTRACTING SOUNDS,

SIGHTS ETC. SHUT OUT ALL DISTRACTIONS • REMEMBER - UNDERSTANDING DEPEND ON ACTIVE

LISTENING ONLY


DIFFERENCESDIFFERENCES

• We all believe in two things –

• 1. I am right about how I see, think & act - So, if you don’t agree with me, you must be wrong

• 2. All Other people should see life the same way I do !

• But, others believe likewise – and, that is the root of all problems in the world


ANSWERING QUESTIONSANSWERING QUESTIONS

• RESPONDINGRESPONDING TO QUESTIONS CLEARLY, TO QUESTIONS CLEARLY, CONFIDENTLY AND GRACEFULLY IS AN ART.CONFIDENTLY AND GRACEFULLY IS AN ART.

• CHRONOLOGICALCHRONOLOGICAL ANSWERS ( I.E., RELIVE ANSWERS ( I.E., RELIVE INCIDENTS)INCIDENTS)

• PRIORITIZEDPRIORITIZED ANSWERS – GO FROM MOST ANSWERS – GO FROM MOST IMPORTANT TO LEAST IMPORTANTIMPORTANT TO LEAST IMPORTANT

• JUMBLED/CONFUSEDJUMBLED/CONFUSED ANSWERS ANSWERS

• UNRELATEDUNRELATED ANSWERS ANSWERS


EMPATHYEMPATHY

• What reason or logic can not do, empathy can !

• Empathy (Not sympathy) can persuade some one more easily than reason or logic many times

• Can you look at any occurrence, from my view point ? If so, you have won my heart.

• You don’t see my view point? How can you not?? Go to hell. I don’t think I can ever like you – That’s human nature !


MARKETING YOURSELFMARKETING YOURSELF

• You are communicating always.• It means, you are, in fact, marketing yourself and your

ideas always – either poorly or well – but the process is always on.

• It is up to you to market yourself WELL.• Conscious marketing is –when you take conscious steps

to promote your image, your ideas and your project – before others and get them accepted and adopted by others

• Unconscious Marketing is –when some one perceives you even before you even open your mouth


NEGATIVE INTO POSITIVENEGATIVE INTO POSITIVE

• Half Full, or Half Empty !!

• If some one doesn’t like you also, you may need to communicate with him/her. Then what?

• Find something positive, preferably several things to say and feel about that person

• You must make efforts to diffuse the ice…

• It will melt – steadily and surely – and Negative will turn into positive


ONE WAY COMMUNICATIONONE WAY COMMUNICATION

• In one way communication, you have no chance of telling what you have understood, what you haven’t and what you have misunderstood !

• Some bosses may ask, have you understood; but, they expect only a yes; There too, it is one way communication

• You were not given time to ask, or you were afraid; whatever the reason, misunderstanding crops up and spoils the work later.

• Avoid one way communication by –(1) Explaining (2) Demonstrating (3) Asking Qs of your listeners (4) watching them do the first time


RESPONSESRESPONSES• No response is still a response• Response is based on one or more of - • (a) Perceptions : of what you deem significant at the moment;

In an accident, you may view it from the driver’s view or the victim’s view or the traffic obstruction view and then have different perceptions

• (b) Experiences : past incidents, reading etc affect responses significantly

• (c) Interpretations : Combines perceptions and experiences and come out with some other view

• (d) Generalizations : Not giving importance to the present incident, you might say that generally such things happen because….

• A person’s responses indicate his perceptions, experiences and interpretation and serve to view his mind – so that you can frame your own response


SAYING “NO”SAYING “NO”• Saying “NO” when required but with tact – is a very

good time management tool. But, cushion the NO with the following :

• Ask time to think about it• Seek renegotiation on more favorable terms for you• Say NO but offer an alternative you feel is good • If some one is very persistent and you must avoid him,

say a definitive “NO” as a complete sentence• Ask for some thing in return – which is equal to NO• Say YES, but recount what you can not and do not

want to do and what you can and do want to do in the process

• Say, NO, unfortunately because – give a cogent reason• How you say NO matters more than what you say.

Your NVC must match it favourably


SHARP SHOOTERSSHARP SHOOTERS

• Cruelty, like any other vice, requires no motive outside itself; it only requires opportunity -George Elliot

• The desire to hurt with words appears to be a part of human nature – for many people

• You can beat the sharpshooter at his game

• You can also Focus on the issues at hand - ‘Let us confine to the issues at hand. Other things are not important and waste time’


SUBORDINATESSUBORDINATES• You are paid to get things done – not always to do it

yourself. To communicate effectively with subordinates • Use Formal and informal channels• Create urgency and expectancy – to deal with

procrastination• Communicate effectively what you want – explain

fully; demonstrate if necessary; ask for Qs, and observe them do if you are unsure

• Focus on desired outcomes & reasons for them• Involve them in decision making process• Clarify their levels of authority, restrictions, reporting

requirements, regulations, deadlines and resources• Provide regular feed back and support to them


UNDERSTANDINGUNDERSTANDING

• Understanding is your reward for Listening

• Understanding – is the removal of distortions and sharing of meanings, feelings, ideas etc.

• One doesn’t have to agree with the speaker; but, receive open heartedly, evaluate and discuss without mutual antagonism

• When you speak, you learn what you know. When you listen, you learn what the partner knows. When you ask Qs, you probe for better understanding

• We often do not know the Full story until we patiently listen and probe with Qs


VALUESVALUES

• The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures, But the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that can not - Mark Twain

• Your greatest power comes from your character – which is strengthened or weakened by your values

• Reflect on the following :• Which 5 things are important to you –• - about being a good friend• - about being a good co-worker• - about being a good family person• Think of relationships in which things went well and those

in which they did not ! Answer why in both• What do you tell your children and then what do you do?

Reflect on your values & those which you are passing to your children


YES PEOPLEYES PEOPLE• When a diplomat says YES, he means perhaps; when he

says perhaps, he means NO; when he says NO, he is not a diplomat - [Lord Denning]

• The YES PERSON agrees with almost every thing but follows through on very few things. To deal with them :-

• Encourage & make it safe to Disagree• Surface unrealistic commitments• Ensure commitment through follow-up• Teach them how & when to say NO• Focus on outcomes, time commitments and priorities• Make sure they know - for what they are saying YES

and how they are going to keep the YES


HOME..SWEET HOME.. HOME..SWEET HOME.. • YOU LIVE IN A HOUSE – TILL YOU DEVELOP

SOME ATTACHMENTS & BONDAGES • THEN, IT BECOMES A HOME• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS CAN TURN THE

HOME INTO A HEAVEN• INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS CAN TURN

THE SAME HOME INTO A HELL-LIKE ONE TOO..• IT IS IN YOUR CHOICE - MOSTLY• A FEW IMPERATIVES FOR THIS NOW -


OFFICE..GREAT PLACE.. OFFICE..GREAT PLACE.. • YOU SPEND 8 HOURS IN THE OFFICE • YOU MUST MAKE ALL OUT EFFORTS TO MAKE IT A

GREAT PLACE TO WORK, ACHIEVE & ENJOY – 1/3RD OF TOTAL LIFE –(or) ½ OF WAKING LIFE CAN BECOME ENJOYABLE THEREBY

• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS CAN TURN THE OFFICE INTO A GREAT PLACE

• INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS CAN TURN THE OFFICE INTO A LOATHSOME ONE – AND MAKE YOU A SICK AND UNHAPPY PERSON

• IT IS IN YOUR CHOICE - MOSTLY• A FEW IMPERATIVES FOR THIS NOW -


SOCIETY.. SOCIETY.. • YOU & THE SURROUNDING SOCIETY ARE INTER-

DEPENDENT IN MANY WAYS• YOU MUST MAKE ALL OUT EFFORTS TO ENSURE

THAT YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF HAPPINESS & PROGRESS IN THE SOCIETY & VICE-VERSA

• EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS IS THE KEY FOR THIS• INEFFECTIVE COMMUNICATIONS CAN TURN THE

SOCIETY TO DISLIKE YOU – AND MAKE YOU A LONELY PERSON

• IT IS IN YOUR CHOICE - MOSTLY• A FEW IMPERATIVES FOR THIS NOW -


ENDLESS….

• Communication is an endless process

• Its success is thus moment to moment

• Learn to enjoy your communications

• Learn to enjoy your Life

• ALL THE BEST IN YOUR LIFE JOURNEY !!

T H AN K Y O U

communication skill

Education

ineffective communication

effects of communication

forms of communication

good effective communication

typical communication

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