Communication Skills''The deepest hunger of the human heart is to be

understood''

Steven R. Covey

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Table of contents:

Communication Skills

Part 1: Introduction to communication

What is communication

Communication functions

Communication process

Barriers of communication

ABC’s of effective communication

Part 2: communicating with yourself ''private victory''

-Circle of influence

Proactive vs. Reactive people

Self awareness Tools

-Johari window

-SWOT analysis

Personal planning

Part 3: Perception of yourself and others

Self confidence

Perception in communication

Perception of credibility & trust

Part 4: Communicating with others ''public victory''

Verbal vs. Nonverbal communication

First impressions and Rapport building

Listening and questioning skills

Part 5: Communicating at work

Organizational communication

Communicating with supervisors & colleagues

Assertiveness in work

Dealing with different personality styles

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Effective communication is all about conveying your messages to other people clearly and unambiguously. It's also about receiving information that others are sending to you, with as little distortion as possible.

Doing this involves effort from both the sender of the message and the receiver. And it's a process that can be fraught with error, with messages muddled by the sender, or misinterpreted by the recipient. When this isn't detected, it can cause tremendous confusion, wasted effort and missed opportunity.

In fact, communication is only successful when both the sender and the receiver understand the same information as a result of the communication.

By successfully getting your message across, you convey your thoughts and ideas effectively. When not successful, the thoughts and ideas that you actually send do not necessarily reflect what you think, causing a communications breakdown and creating roadblocks that stand in the way of your goals – both personally and professionally.

In a recent survey of recruiters from companies with more than 50,000 employees, communication skills were cited as the single most important decisive factor in choosing managers. The survey, conducted by the University of Pittsburgh’s Katz Business School, points out that communication skills, including written and oral presentations, as well as an ability to work with others, are the main factor contributing to job success.

In spite of the increasing importance placed on communication skills, many individuals continue to struggle, unable to communicate their thoughts and ideas effectively – whether in verbal or written format. This inability makes it nearly impossible for them to compete effectively in the workplace, and stands in the way of career progression.

Being able to communicate effectively is therefore essential if you want to build a successful career. To do this, you must understand what your message is, what audience you are sending it to, and how it will be perceived. You must also weigh-in the circumstances surrounding your communications, such as situational and cultural context. This guide will help you understand and acquire this very important skill of communication.

I] Introduction to communication

Functions of Communication

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� - Control

Formal and informal communications act to control individuals’ behaviors in organizations.

� - Motivation

Communications clarify for employees what is to be done, how well they have done it, and what can be done to improve performance

Communication fosters motivation by clarifying to employees what is to be done. How well they are doing, and what can be done to improve performance. The formation of specific goals, feedback on progress toward the goals and reinforcement of desired behavior all stimulate motivation and require communication.

- Emotional Expression

Social interaction in the form of work group communications provides a way for employees to express themselves.

- Information

Individuals and work groups need information to make decisions or to do their work.

The final function that communication performs relates to its role in facilitating decision making. It provides the information that individuals and groups need; to make decisions by transmitting the data to identify and evaluate alternative choices.

Communication Skills Process

Problems with communication can pop-up at every stage of the communication process (which consists of the sender, encoding, the channel, decoding, the receiver, feedback and the context – see the diagram below). At each stage, there is the potential for misunderstanding and confusion.

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To be an effective communicator and to get your point across without misunderstanding and confusion, your goal should be to lessen the frequency of problems at each stage of this process, with clear, concise, accurate and well-planned communications. We follow the process through below:

Source...

As the source of the message, you need to be clear about why you're communicating, and what you want to communicate. You also need to be confident that the information you're communicating is useful and accurate.

Message...

The message is the information that you want to communicate.

Encoding...

This is the process of transferring the information you want to communicate into a form that can be sent and correctly decoded at the other end. Your success in encoding depends partly on your ability to convey information clearly and simply, but also on your ability to anticipate and eliminate sources of confusion (for example, cultural issues, mistaken assumptions, and missing information.)

A key part of this; is knowing your audience: Failure to understand who you are communicating with will result in delivering messages that are misunderstood.

Channel...

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Messages are conveyed through channels, with verbal channels including face-to-face meetings, telephone and videoconferencing; and written channels including letters, emails, memos and reports.

Different channels have different strengths and weaknesses. For example, it's not particularly effective to give a long list of directions verbally, while you'll quickly cause problems if you give someone negative feedback using email.

Decoding...

Just as successful encoding is a skill, so is successful decoding (involving, for example, taking the time to read a message carefully, or listen actively to it.) Just as confusion can arise from errors in encoding, it can also arise from decoding errors. This is particularly the case if the decoder doesn't have enough knowledge to understand the message.

Receiver...

Your message is delivered to individual members of your audience. No doubt, you have in mind the actions or reactions you hope your message will get from this audience. Keep in mind, though, that each of these individuals enters into the communication process with ideas and feelings that will undoubtedly influence their understanding of your message, and their response. To be a successful communicator, you should consider these before delivering your message, and act appropriately.

Feedback...

Your audience will provide you with feedback, as verbal and nonverbal reactions to your communicated message. Pay close attention to this feedback as it is the only thing that can give you confidence that your audience has understood your message. If you find that there has been a misunderstanding, at least you have the opportunity to send the message a second time.

Context...

The situation in which your message is delivered is the context. This may include the surrounding environment or broader culture (corporate culture, international cultures, and so on).

Distortions in Communications

Message Encoding :

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� -The effect of the skills, attitudes, and knowledge of the sender on the process of encoding the message.

-The social-cultural system of the sender

The Message:

� -Symbols used to convey the message’s meaning.

� -The content of the message itself.

� -The choice of message format.

� -Noise interfering with the message.

The Channel:

� The sender’s choice of the appropriate channel or multiple channels for conveying the message.

Receiver:

� -The effect of skills, attitudes, and knowledge of the receiver on the process of decoding the message.

� -The social-cultural system of the receiver.

Feedback Loop:

� Communication channel distortions affecting the return message from receiver to sender.

Types of noise

Communication noise:

Refers to influences on effective communication that influence the interpretation of conversations. While often looked over, communication noise can have a profound

impact both on our perception of interactions with others and our analysis of our own communication proficiency.

A broad look on the forms of communication noise would include psychological noise, physical noise, and linguistic noise. All these forms of noise subtly, yet greatly influence our communication with others and are vitally important to anyone’s skills

as a competent communicator.

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Psychological:

Psychological noise results from preconceived notions we bring to conversations, such as racial stereotypes, reputations, biases, and assumptions. When we come into a

conversation with ideas about what the other person is going to say and why, we can easily become blinded to their original message. Most of the time psychological noise is impossible to free ourselves from, and we must simply struggle to recognize that it

exists and take those distractions into account when we converse with others.

Physical:

Physical noise is any external or environmental stimulus that distracts us from receiving the intended message sent by a communicator. Examples of physical noise include: others talking in the background, background music, a startling noise and acknowledging someone outside of the conversation.

Linguistic/Semantic:

This is noise caused by the sender .i.e. the encoder. This type of noise occurs when grammar or technical language is used that the receiver (the decoder) cannot

understand, or cannot understand clearly.

Now let us have a closer look at the different types of noise:

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Overcoming the barriers to Effective communications:

ExplanationBarrierThe deliberate manipulation of information to make it appear more favorable to the receiver.

1] Filtering

Disregarding rational and objective thinking processes and substituting emotional judgments when interpreting messages.

2] Emotions

Being confronted with a quantity of information that exceeds an individual’s capacity to process it.

3] Information Overload

When threatened, reacting in a way that reduces the ability to achieve mutual understanding.

4] Defensiveness

The different meanings of and specialized ways (jargon) in which senders use words can cause receivers to misinterpret their messages.

5]Language

Culture influences the form, formality, openness, patterns and use of information in communications.

6] National Culture

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• Use Feedback

• Simplify Language

• Listen Actively

• Constrain Emotions

• Watch Nonverbal Cues

ABC's of effective communication

II] Communicating with yourself ''Private victory''

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You can't have the fruits without the roots. Private victory precedes public victory. This means that you should understand yourself and communicate with it first effectively in order to communicate with others successfully.

And the first step in doing that is to become aware of yourself.

Proactive Vs. Reactive people

The most important ingredient we put into any communication or relationship is not what we say or what we do, but what we are.

So, the place to begin building any communication or relationship is inside ourselves, inside our circle of influence and our own character.

We need to understand that we are responsible for whom we would be and by responsible we mean response- able, our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions. We have the initiative and the responsibility to make things happen.

We have the power to choose a positive response to circumstances and projections. By working on ourselves instead of worrying about conditions, we are able to

influence conditions.

Any time we think the problem is ''out there'', that thought is the problem. We empower what's out there to control us most people ''reactive people'' think that what's

out there has to change before they can change.

The right and proactive approach is to change from inside-out; to be different and by being different- I can be more resourceful, I can be more diligent, I can be more

creative, etc. 

An excellent way to become self-aware is through understanding Steven covey's circle of influence and concern:

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A Circle of Concern

Encompasses thewide range of concerns we have, such asour health, our children, problems at work,the amount of government borrowing, orthe threat of war.

A Circle of Influence

Encompassesthose concerns that we can dosomething about. They are concerns thatwe have some control over.

Proactive people:Focus on issues withintheir circle of influence. They work onthings they can do something about. Thenature of their energy in doing this ispositive, enlarging and magnifying. Theyincrease their Circle of Influence.

Reactive people:Tend to neglectthose issues that are under theircontrol and influence. Their focus iselsewhere and their Circle ofInfluence shrinks.

So in order to attain private victory; you must be proactive, being proactive is being responsible-

response-able to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by

working on be, on what we are.       

(Reactive people focus on their circle of concern) Have’s

(Proactive people focus on their circle of influence) Be’s

I’ll be happy when I have a fullestablishment…If only I had a boss who wasn’t...If I had respect from…If I could just have managementdays…If the environment was more conducive…

I can be a better role model…I can be more organised / resourceful…I can be more loving / understanding…I will be more diligent…I can seek out personnel and be able tounderstand…

Proactive people

Reactive people

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Being proactive is being aware that we can write and live our own successful script of life for ourselves instead of having someone else write it for us.

Now we'll go through some tools that will help increase our self awareness and expand our circle of influence.

JOHARI window:

• Developed by Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham, 1955

A four paned "window," as illustrated below, divides personal awareness into four different types, as represented by its four quadrants: open, hidden, blind, and unknown. The lines dividing the four panes are like window shades, which can move as an interaction progresses.

In this model, each person is represented by their own window. Let's describe them:

1. what is known by the person about him/herself and is also known by others - open area, open self, free area, free self, or 'the arena'

2. what is unknown by the person about him/herself but which others know - blind area, blind self, or 'blindspot'

3. what the person knows about him/herself that others do not know - hidden area, hidden self, avoided area, avoided self or 'facade'

4. What is unknown by the person about him/herself and is also unknown by others - unknown area or unknown self.

We can increase the open area, by reduction of the blind area, which would normally be achieved through the process of asking for and then receiving feedback.

Feedback develops the open area by reducing the blind area.

The open area can also be developed through the process of disclosure, which reduces the hidden area.

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The unknown area can be reduced in different ways: by others' observation (which increases the blind area); by self-discovery (which increases the hidden area), or by mutual enlightenment - typically via group experiences and discussion - which increases the open area as the unknown area reduces.

The more we can be open with others – through disclosure or by seeking feedback – the better the communication.

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SWOT analysis:

You are most likely to succeed in life if you use your talents to their fullest extent. Similarly, you'll suffer fewer problems if you know what your weaknesses are, and if you manage these weaknesses so that they don't matter in the work you do.

So how you go about identifying these strengths and weaknesses, and analyzing the opportunities and threats that flow from them? SWOT Analysis is a useful technique that helps you do this.

What makes SWOT especially powerful is that, with a little thought, it can help you uncover opportunities that you would not otherwise have spotted. And by understanding your weaknesses, you can manage and eliminate threats that might otherwise hurt your ability to move forward.

If you look at yourself using the SWOT framework, you can start to separate yourself from your peers, and further develop the specialized talents and abilities you need to advance your career.

How to Use the Tool

Strengths

What advantages do you have that others don't have (for example, skills, certifications, education, or connections)?

What do you do better than anyone else?

What personal resources can you access?

What do other people (and your boss, in particular) see as your strengths?

Which of your achievements are you most proud of?

What values do you believe in that others fail to exhibit?

Are you part of a network that no one else is involved in? If so, what connections do you have with influential people?

Consider this from your own perspective, and from the point of view of the people around you. And don't be modest or shy – be as objective as you can.

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And if you have any difficulty with this, write down a list of your personal characteristics. Some of these will hopefully be strengths!

Tip:Think about your strengths in relation to the people around you. For example, if you're a great mathematician and the people around you are also great at math, then this is not likely to be a strength in your current role – it may be a necessity.

Weaknesses

What tasks do you usually avoid because you don't feel confident doing them?

What will the people around you see as your weaknesses?

Are you completely confident in your education and skills training? If not, where are you weakest?

What are your negative work habits (for example, are you often late, are you disorganized, do you have a short temper, or are you poor at handling stress?

Do you have personality traits that hold you back in your field? For instance, if you have to conduct meetings on a regular basis, a fear of public speaking would be a major weakness.

Again, consider this from a personal/internal perspective and an external perspective. Do other people see weaknesses that you don't see? Do co-workers consistently outperform you in key areas? Be realistic – it's best to face any unpleasant truths as soon as possible.

Opportunities

What new technology can help you? Or can you get help from others or from people via the Internet?

Is your industry growing? If so, how can you take advantage of the current market?

Do you have a network of strategic contacts to help you, or offer good advice?

What trends (management or otherwise) do you see in your company, and how can you take advantage of them?

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Are any of your competitors failing to do something important? If so, can you take advantage of their mistakes?

Is there a need in your company or industry that no one is filling?

Do your students, customers or vendors complain about something in your university/company? If so, could you create an opportunity by offering a solution?

You might find useful opportunities in the following:

Networking events, educational classes, or conferences. A colleague going on an extended leave. Could you take on some of

this person's projects to gain experience?

A new role or project that forces you to learn new skills, like public speaking or international relations.

A company expansion or acquisition. Do you have specific skills (like a second language) that could help with the process?

Also, importantly, look at your strengths, and ask yourself whether these open up any opportunities – and look at your weaknesses, and ask yourself whether you could open up opportunities by eliminating those weaknesses.

Threats

What obstacles do you currently face at work?

Are any of your colleagues competing with you for projects or roles?

Is your job (or the demand for the things you do) changing?

Does changing technology threaten your position?

Could any of your weaknesses lead to threats?

Performing this analysis will often provide key information – it can point out what needs to be done and put problems into perspective.

Personal-planning:

So after becoming aware of yourself, it's time to write your script of life, you can start by thinking about the values you believe in and then write your personal vision and

mission statement that will become your constitution, the solid expression of your values. It becomes the criterion by which you measure everything else in your life.

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Vision: A statement of your dream, where you visualize yourself.

My vision is to become a marketing manager in 20 years in company x.

Mission: Why you are here, your purpose.

My mission is to live with integrity and to make a difference in the lives of others.

One of the major problems that arises when people work to become more effective in life is that they don't think broadly enough. They may get consumed by work and neglect personal health. In the name of professional success, they may neglect the

most precious relationships in their lives so make sure to consider all aspects of your life when writing your script (personal plan).

Next step involves writing your goals

Make sure that your goals are SMART

SpecificMeasurable

AttainableRelevant

Time Bound

Set Specific GoalsYour goal must be clear and well defined. Vague or generalized goals are not

achievable because they don't provide sufficient direction. Remember, you need goals to show you the way. How useful would a map Egypt be if there were only

governorate borders marked on it and you were trying to get from Suez to Aswan? Do you even know which governorate you are starting from let alone which one you're

headed to? Make it as easy as you can to get where you want to go by defining precisely where it is you want to end up.

Set Measurable GoalsInclude precise amounts, dates, etc in your goals so you can measure your degree of success. If your goal is simply defined as "To reduce expenses" how will you know when you are successful? In one month's time if you have a 1% reduction or in two

year's time when you have a 10% reduction? Without a way to measure your success you miss out on the celebration that comes with knowing you actually achieved

something.

Set Attainable GoalsMake sure that it's possible to achieve the goals you set. If you set a goal that you

have no hope of achieving you will only demoralize yourself and erode your confidence.

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However, resist the urge to set goals that are too easy. Accomplishing a goal that you didn't have to work very hard for can be an anticlimax at best, and can also make you fear setting future goals that carry a risk of non-achievement. By setting realistic yet

challenging goals you hit the balance you need. These are the types of goals that require you to "raise the bar" and they bring the greatest personal satisfaction.

Set Relevant Goals

Goals should be relevant to the direction you want your life and career to take. By keeping goals aligned with this, you'll develop the focus you need to get ahead and do what you want. Set widely scattered and inconsistent goals, and you'll waste your time

- and your life - away.

Set Time-Bound GoalsYour goals must have a deadline. This again, is so that you know when to celebrate your success. When you are working on a deadline, your sense of urgency increases

and achievement will come that much quicker.

VALUES:

VISION:

MISSION:

GOAL

(What)

OBJECTIVE

(How)

WHEN

(Short, intermediate, long term)

� III] Perception

� Self Confidence:

� Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. The more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed.

� “Confidence gives you courage and extends your reach. It lets you take greater risks and achieve far more than you ever thought possible”

– Jack Welch

Self confidence is having faith in yourself and your ability to handle whatever situations are presented to you. You are blessed with freedom from doubt in yourself. When you need to perform a task or complete a project, you have no question in your

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mind that you will succeed. You are not afraid to look people in the eye or to express your thoughts.

If you have faith in yourself, you are able to laugh at yourself. You trust and believe that you’ll be able to deal with whatever life throws you, good or bad. If you know what you want and where you’re trying to go, you have self confidence. If you stay

calm under pressure, because you know it’s only a matter of time until you figure out what to do, you have self confidence. Another good indicator of having adequate

confidence is a sense of purpose and a willingness to take risks.

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. Sadly, this can be a vicious circle: People who lack

self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful.

Believing in yourself can open doors for you. People are likely to agree with your interpretation of your ability to handle situations. If you believe you can handle

anything, others will too.

Lacking faith in your ability to handle situations occasionally is normal. If you find that you doubt yourself more often than not, you need to work on improvement.

The good news is that self-confidence really can be learned and built on. And, whether you’re working on your own self-confidence or building the confidence of

people around you, it’s well-worth the effort!

Low self confidence:

Low self confidence or under confidence occurs when you underestimate the set of skills that you possess and this results from the lack of understanding the universal norm that each and every one of us has been given a set of skills that makes him/her standout in the field that matches this set.

Failing to understand that means that we doubt an unquestionable ultimate truth about God and this universe which is justice.

So by understanding that the problem lies in our perception of our abilities and not really our abilities we are going to be self-confident. If success was not a good friend of mine now, I am confident that by searching and going through many success- failure attempts and experiences I will be able to find this set of skills throughout the way and eventually me & success will be best friends!

Over self-confidence:

Over self-confidence results from seeing your abilities or yourself bigger than its actual size, too much overconfidence can cause arrogance, market bubbles, financial collapses, policy failures, disasters, and wars.

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Balanced self-confidence:

Self-confidence needs to be founded on reality: realistic expectations, your skills and experience, and the effort and preparation that you are willing to put in to reaching your goal.

Confidence matters in –

Relationships

Work

Parenting

Life skills expressing yourself

Taking up new challenges

Being open to change

self improvement

Some tips to Improving Self Confidence

1. Dress Sharp

Although clothes don’t make the man, they certainly affect the way he feels about himself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When

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you don’t look good, it changes the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance. In

most cases, significant improvements can be made by bathing and shaving frequently, wearing clean clothes, and being cognizant of the latest styles.

This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much''

2. Walk Faster

One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about herself is to examine her walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with

confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do. Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting

some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make you look and feel more important.

3. Good Posture

Similarly, the way a person carries herself tells a story. People with slumped shoulders and lazy movements display a lack of self confidence. They aren’t

enthusiastic about what they’re doing and they don’t consider themselves important. By practicing good posture, you’ll automatically feel more confident. Stand up

straight, keep your head up, and make eye contact. You’ll make a positive impression on others and instantly feel more alert and empowered.

4. Personal Commercial

One of the best ways to build confidence is listening to a motivational speech. Unfortunately, opportunities to listen to a great speaker are few and far between. You

can fill this need by creating a personal commercial. Write a 30-60 second speech that highlights your strengths and goals. Then recite it in front of the mirror aloud (or

inside your head if you prefer) whenever you need a confidence boost.

5. Gratitude

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is

consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving

relationships, and positive momentum. You’ll be amazed how much you have going for you and motivated to take that next step towards success.

6. Compliment other people

When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others in the form of insults and gossip. To break this cycle of negativity, get in the habit of

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praising other people. Refuse to engage in backstabbing gossip and make an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well liked and build self

confidence. By looking for the best in others, you indirectly bring out the best in yourself.

7. Sit in the front rowIn schools, offices, and public assemblies around the world, people constantly strive to sit at the back of the room. Most people prefer the back because they’re afraid of being noticed. This reflects a lack of self confidence. By deciding to sit in the front

row, you can get over this irrational fear and build your self confidence. You’ll also be more visible to the important people talking from the front of the room.

8. Speak up

During group discussions many people never speak up because they’re afraid that people will judge them for saying something stupid. This fear isn’t really justified.

Generally, people are much more accepting than we imagine. In fact most people are dealing with the exact same fears. By making an effort to speak up at least once in

every group discussion, you’ll become a better public speaker, more confident in your own thoughts, and recognized as a leader by your peers.

9. Work out

Along the same lines as personal appearance, physical fitness has a huge effect on self confidence. If you’re out of shape, you’ll feel insecure, unattractive, and less

energetic. By working out, you improve your physical appearance, energize yourself, and accomplish something positive. Having the discipline to work out not only makes you feel better, it creates positive momentum that you can build on the rest of the day.

10. Focus on contribution

Too often we get caught up in our own desires. We focus too much on ourselves and not enough on the needs of other people. If you stop thinking about yourself and

concentrate on the contribution you’re making to the rest of the world, you won’t worry as much about you own flaws. This will increase self confidence and allow you

to contribute with maximum efficiency. The more you contribute to the world the more you’ll be rewarded with personal success and recognition

Perception in communication

Perception:

� Is the process of interpreting the environment using my senses.

� (See-Hear-Touch-Taste-Smell)

� Research on perception consistently demonstrates that individuals may look at the same thing yet perceive it differently.

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� The fact is none of us sees reality. We interpret what we see & call it reality. We behave according to our perceptions.

The characteristics of the Perceiver will heavily influence our perception.

The characteristics of the target/ object observed will heavily influence our perception.

Also the context (situation) in which we see objects or events is also important in influencing our perception (the time, location, light, heat, color, other situational factors…)

Perception Quality

� Factors affecting the quality of perception

Experience Motivational state Emotional State Social status Culture Education

In order for us to make sure that our perception was right we should check our perception.

Perception Checking

Perception checking is just like looking at different pictures that are shown to us where sometimes there would be a face, but in actuality there were two or more faces contained in that drawing as you examined the document. Without perception checking we would automatically think that people dislike us for certain reasons, may be just because they are using their body language to speak, or if someone was just starring at you for no apparent reason at all.

It is vitally important that we are always observing and doing some major perception checking whenever we feel like someone is getting the wrong impression or maybe you feel like someone is thinking differently of you in some way

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as we are perception checking we don't have to do any guess work, we can obtain the facts of the certain matter by stating what you noticed and then asking what's wrong and change or improve as needed if there is something wrong in what we are doing, or it might be that we find out about something that might be slowing down that individual.

1. Observation2. Interpretation3. Clarification

We tend to believe & communicate with people that we trust:

Credibility & Trust

Initial Credibility:

Often is derived from the person’s title or position

Derived Credibility:

� Based on what takes place during the communication

� Evolves around the way we present information: attitude, honesty

� Believable people are those who share ‘common grounds with us’

Terminal Credibility:

� Follows the communication process

Is a product of the initial and the derived credibility

What makes a person believable?

I .Competence:

� The more intelligent or knowledgeable a person the more credible he/she appears.

II. Character:

� Believable people possess ‘high moral’ characters – those we can trust.

III. Personality

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� Pleasing personality people are often believed.

� Negative and “unpleasant personalities” are less believed.

IV. Intention :

� Motives are important in determining credibility

� Salesperson’s attempts are often doubted because intentions are perceived as ‘selfish’

V. Dynamism:

� Shy, introverted people are less credible

� General Perception : Dynamic people express their opinions openly and honestly.

IV] Communicating with others

Types of communication:

� A] Verbal communication

� Oral communication

� Examples: Conversation, speeches, telephone calls and videoconferences

Advantages: vivid, stimulating, difficult to ignore, flexible and adaptive.

� Disadvantages: Transitory and subject to misinterpretation

� Written communication

� Examples: letters, memos, reports, e-mail and fax

� Advantages: decrease misinterpretation and precise

Disadvantages: accuracy loss in translation, inflexible and easier to ignore

B] Nonverbal Communication

� Communication that is transmitted without words.

1. Sounds with specific meanings or warnings

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2. Images that control or encourage behaviors

3. Situational behaviors that convey meanings

4. Clothing and physical surroundings that imply status

� Body language: gestures, facial expressions, and other body movements that convey meaning.

Verbal intonation: emphasis that a speaker gives to certain words or phrases that conveys meaning.

The importance of first impressions:

Although it takes only 30 to 45 seconds to formulate a first impression, it often requires four or five additional encounters to change someone's first impression. Many times, once you've made a first impression, you will not have a second opportunity to change that impression. Therefore, it's important to make your best impression on the first try.

Elements influencing first impressions:

Often impressions are based on abstract qualities such as:

Appearance

Your appearance is comprised of several factors: the clothes you wear, your personal hygiene, your posture, and even your handshake all leave impressions on people you meet. When meeting people for the first time, it is best to do some research and find out about their environment. If you are entering a different country or culture, determine whether your attire is appropriate. Learn how that culture views eye contact and discover what hand gestures are considered inappropriate to avoid them.

Do your best to duplicate the styles and characteristics of the people in your meeting environment so messages will not be cluttered by misperception.

Knowledge

Although your intelligence will not be scored in a business meeting, it will be tested and judged based on your competence. Just as you would

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research different cultures in order to adapt to them beforehand, so too should you research the topic of your meeting before hand.

If you do not know the answer to a question, do not lie. Rather, admit that you do not know the answer and promise to find out. Then, make sure to follow through on that promise. Let the person know when you'll be able to provide her with an answer, and deliver it at that time.

Social composure

Social composure comprises grace, charm and etiquette. Being graceful in a meeting or social activity involves being comfortable in your surroundings. Knowing that you are appropriately attired and are familiar with the customs and culture of your group will help put you at ease. Simply being friendly is the key to exhibiting charm. You can build rapport with your associates by listening to and sharing with them. Be sure your communication involves a two-way exchange of information. Displaying the proper etiquette for the environment will also lead you toward achieving a high level of social composure. Being polite to your associates will communicate a desire to build rapport.

Communicating to build rapport:

Rapport is a relationship of mutual trust. Without trust, communication is superficial at best and nonexistent at worst. You also need to establish your credibility to communicate effectively, which means you need to ensure that listeners respect and believe you.

There are three guidelines you should follow to build rapport:

Adapt to the other person's communication style

By paying attention to conversation and body language, you should be able to determine the other person's primary communication style. Recognizing a person's communication style allows you to adapt your own communication style to his so that the two of you are compatible. The person to whom you have adapted will appreciate your insight and understanding.

Find common ground with the other person

Common ground is often considered small talk in interactions with other people. This part of communication is meant to break down barriers and find a topic to which all people involved can relate.

Focus on mutually beneficial goals

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To establish rapport, you must identify mutually beneficial goals early in the conversation. For example, in a meeting to resolve a conflict regarding office space, it benefits all parties involved to recognize that an efficient arrangement of workstations is the mutual goal. By focusing on that point, differing opinions might be expressed, but the rapport will continue because the parties are working toward a common goal.

Listening

� What is the difference between hearing and listening?

� There are three levels of listening:

1. Hearing but not listening.

2. On & off.

3. Physically & emotionally involved.

� Active listening

Is the process of taking action to help someone say exactly what he or she really means.

It employs paraphrasing messages & asking for confirmation of meaning. It minimizes the importance of the self & allows one to understand more fully

another person’s perspective. A technique of asking open-ended questions to clarify & expand the meaning

of another person’s message.

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� A] Open Ended Questions

� Cannot be answered with a simple "yes" or "no", or with a specific piece of information & gives the person answering the question scope to give the information that seems to them to be appropriate. Open-ended questions are sometimes phrased as a statement which requires a response.

� How was the instructor?

I think ……., but ………...; moreover ……….; however,………..!@%*!!?

B] Closed Ended Questions

A closed-ended question is a form of question which can normally be answered using a simple "yes" or "no", a specific simple piece of information,

or a selection from multiple choices.

Examples include:

� How old are you?

� 32 years old.

I’ll be turning 12 by next August.

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Why Do We Ask Questions?

Get information Gain & maintain control Handle complaints Establishing trust Sarcasm Create emotional involvement Acknowledge or confirm a statement Gain Time

V] Communicating at work:

� Organizational communication:

Types:

� Formal Communication

� Communication that follows the official chain of command or is part of the communication required to do one’s job.

� Informal Communication 

� Is the communication that is not defined by the organization’s hierarchy.

� Permits employees to satisfy their need for social interaction.

� Can improve an organization’s performance by creating faster and more effective channels of communication.

Communication Flows

� Downward

� Communications that flow from managers to employees to inform, direct, coordinate, and evaluate employees.

�

�

� Upward

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� Communications that flow from employees up to managers to keep them aware of employee needs and how things can be improved to create a climate of trust and respect.

� Lateral (Horizontal) Communication

� Communication that takes place among employees on the same level in the organization to save time and facilitate coordination.

� Diagonal Communication

� Communication that cuts across both work areas and organizational levels in the interest of efficiency and speed.

Communication networks:

Communication networks may affect the group's completion of the assigned task on time, the position of the real leader in the group, or they may affect the group members' satisfaction from occupying certain positions in the network.

The Chain:

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Can readily be seen to represent the hierarchical pattern that characterizes strictly formal information flow, "from the top down," in military and some types of business organizations.

The Wheel:

Can be compared with a typical autocratic organization, meaning one-man rule and limited employee participation.

The All-Channel network is similar to the free-flow of communication in a group that encourages all of its members to become involved in group decision processes. The All-Channel network may also be compared to some of the informal communication networks.

The structure of communications within an organization will have a significant influence on the accuracy of decisions, the speed with which they can be reached, and the satisfaction of the people involved.

Communicating with supervisors:

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It is important to communicate effectively with all of your supervisors to maintain an efficient workplace and to be able to promote your own ideas for improvements.

Qualities of an effective supervisor:

Effective supervisors share an important quality- the desire to serve their employees.

Competent supervisors realize that it is their job to keep things operating smoothly in the workplace. To ensure this occurs, they listen to suggestions and follow through when possible. Communicating with this type of supervisor is usually easy because such supervisors maintain an open-door policy.

Types of ineffective supervisors:

Unfortunately, many supervisors allow some particular aspect of their personalities to affect their interactions with employees, which hinders effective communication. The following are five types of ineffective supervisors:

Bully

Guilt tripper

Blamer

Dreamer

Emotional Volcano

Bully:

Threats are a key component of the bully's communication. They will most likely use body language to suggest superiority, such as crossed arms and peering over eyeglasses. A bully often uses phrases such as, ''you'd better get that done'' or ''I need this done right now.''

To communicate with the bully, it is important to remind yourself that this person is human and should not be regarded fearfully. Also, find a way to compliment the bully.

By complimenting your supervisor, you'll feel more powerful and less intimidated when the supervisor tries to bully you.

Guilt tripper;

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Supervisors who use guilt trips to motivate employees are using a passive-aggressive style of supervising. For example, they might say that they do not mind staying late while everyone else goes home, but their body language tells a different story. Rather than asking for help directly, the guilt tripper will attempt to earn pity to get a specific response, such as getting an employee to stay late to work on a special project.

When dealing with guilt trippers, first establish what they are asking you to do.

Determine if the task is as pressing as the guilt tripper would like you to believe. If she is being unreasonable, and you have a legitimate excuse for not immediately working on the guilt tripper's task, use it. However, the best way to communicate with a guilt tripper is to make definite plans to help her at a time that is convenient for both of you. By doing so, both you and the guilt tripper will feel satisfied that the job is going to get done in a timely fashion, and you'll have responded in a way that demonstrates a team effort.

Blamer:

Some supervisors respond with blame when errors are discovered. Should you encounter a blamer, it is important to focus on the facts of the situation. Your goal is not to establish fault, but to understand what can be done to remedy the situation. However, accepting responsibility is not the same thing as accepting blame. Accepting responsibility conveys an attitude of willingness to resolve the situation without focusing on who is at fault. Above all, remain calm. Do not feed into the anger or anxiety of the blamer.

Dreamer:

This supervisor not only has many ideas, but also has complete confidence in himself. The dreamer is likely to come up with a new idea every week and expects full support from his employees.

Communicating with a dreamer can be very tricky because you do not want to neglect an idea that might be profitable for your company; however it would be too time consuming and inefficient to act on each of the dreamer's suggestions. When the dreamer presents a new idea to you, first determine the logistics of the situation.

Determine what priority your supervisor wants to give this project. Then, give yourself some time to review it in private. Make a list of questions to ask your supervisor about the idea's feasibility ex: cost projections, marketability, etc.

While it should not be your intention to shoot down new ideas, you need to make sure that each idea is workable before it becomes your project and potential failure.

Emotional volcano:

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The emotional volcano reacts to fear and frustration through yelling, ranting, and fist pounding. This supervisor thinks that s/he can motivate employees through fear.

Unfortunately, this behavior often motivates employees to look for a new job.

Try to find what is motivating her to react in an emotional way. Understanding the cause of the supervisor's emotions will help you communicate with her because you'll realize that you are not the true target of her emotions.

Also avoid telling him/her to calm down. Nobody likes to be told what emotions to feel, so telling someone to calm down is more likely to increase her rage than not. You should set an example by remaining calm. Use language that promotes a team effort to work through the situation. Above all, never let yourself get involved in a shouting match.

Communicating with colleagues:

Colleagues might include people in your office, team, department, or division. They do not hold a supervisory position over you, nor do you hold a supervisory position over them. Instead, you are all in a similar place on the corporate ladder. Learning how to communicate effectively with your colleagues helps maintain a friendly and effective workplace and enables you to better promote your ideas and respond to those of others.

Guidelines for communicating with colleagues:

There are a few guidelines to remember when communicating with your colleagues:

Demonstrate respect.

Establish ground rules and responsibilities

Be honest about your thoughts and feelings

Demonstrate respect:

Often it’s the everyday actions that make the greatest impact on your colleagues, such as listening and showing interest in a conversation. However, you can show respect in other ways as well. For example, if a colleague has helped you with a project for which you have received a reward, be sure that your supervisor knows that your colleague also deserves recognition.

Establish ground rules and responsibilities:

Colleagues can often become territorial about job responsibilities and physical space in the workplace. The easiest way to minimize these frustrations is to openly

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communicate and set ground rules that everyone can respect. By eliminating issues such as boundaries and job responsibilities, you can improve communication between colleagues.

Be honest about your thoughts and feelings:

If you have a problem with a colleague, it cannot be remedied until that colleague is made aware of the situation. Be open and honest if there is a problem , so it can be solved quickly. Also, share positive thoughts and feelings to communicate a spirit of teamwork within your organization.

Promoting ideas among colleagues:

When seeking your colleagues' support, carefully choose your allies. It is important that each colleague feels a sense of ownership over the project or idea, so keep your group small. Talk to your colleagues individually and let them know that you truly value their opinions and support. Once you have their support, you are better prepared to promote the idea to management.

Responding to an idea:

Whether you support or disagree with a colleague's idea, it is important to keep your feedback positive and specific. It is easy to keep the tone of positive feedback light. However, you can also keep constructive feedback upbeat by making suggestions for improvement. In addition, the more specific you make your comments; the more helpful they will be to your colleague. For example, telling your colleague that an idea is not cost effective is much more helpful than simply saying that an idea will not work.

Assertiveness:

Assertiveness is the ability to formulate and communicate one's own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct and non-aggressive way. 

There are several techniques that can help you in this field. One of these techniques is known as ''broken record'', which is used when you are trying to get someone do something you have asked them to. It involves repeating a request over and over again until the outcome is what you want it to be. It involves asking calmly and politely while blocking attempts of distraction or changing of the subject.   Another training technique that is used is known as ''fogging''. So what does this involve? Believe it or not a lot of us probably already carry out this technique, even if we don't consider ourselves to be assertive in the slightest. It is especially carried out by people who work in jobs that involve a lot of contact with the general public. The way that this technique is carried out is training yourself to stay calm within the face of criticism and taking on board anything that may be critical but fair. If you train yourself to refuse to be provoked and hurt by criticism you receive then you remove

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the destructive power that the words can cause. It requires you to have a certain level of control but the outcome is very effective.   Lastly another technique is called ''negative assertion''. This basically means you are accepting and agreeing with some parts of the criticism; you are taking on board aspects that are valid. You are however doing this without allowing yourself to become consumed by guilt or self-loathing. This is one way that you could go about using this technique, another way is to own up to your mistakes before anyone says anything to you. This demonstrates that you admit the problem and accept responsibility.

Assertiveness in saying - No

Turning down a request you know you're not in a position to handle isn't always easy, especially when the person asking is in a position of authority. Learn the right technique and enjoy more control over your schedule - and over your life!

If someone asks you to do something that you are unable to do or don't want to do-simply say, "no".

Your boss asks you to handle a project you couldn't possibly finish on time.

You say: "Our department is currently involved with three other projects. In order to finish this project on time, one of those projects will need a time extension or to be delegated to another department. Is there someone else who can handle this project or can one of our other projects be delegated to another team?"

You say: "Can the deadline for this project be extended to the end of the month?" If 'no', then use the answer above.

You say: "That project will require my undivided attention. Which of the other items we are working on can I delegate to Mike?"

Saying "no" effectively is a powerful tool. Those who say no successfully have more control over their schedules and feel more in control of their lives, especially when it comes to saying no to authority figures.

 

Communication Styles

Two Keys to Understanding People

1- Assertiveness:

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� Degree to which one’s behavior is seen directive or forceful

� More assertive doesn’t mean Aggressive (use of style)

� Less assertive is not submissive

2-Responsiveness:

� Degree to which one’s behavior is seen showing his or her emotions and demonstrate awareness of others feelings

� More responsive doesn’t mean (Let it all hang out)

� Emotionally controlled doesn’t mean they don’t have emotions. (J.P. Morgan)

Assertiveness less assertive More assertive

Amount of talking less more

Rate of speaking slower faster

Body movement & gestures

Less, slower More, faster

Voice volume Softer louder

Posture Lean backwards Lean forward

Responsiveness less responsive More responsive

Is it easy to notice your emotional status, happy, angry, sad,…

no yes

Facial animation less more

Expressing their feelings & showing interest in others feelings

less more

Orientation Task-oriented People-oriented

Voice variation less more

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Driver Every result-focused/Goal-oriented Action-takers (even if they are just 55% sure) Amazingly, they tend to change their minds fast

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Self motivated Close follow up on people Very serious facial expressions Tend to hide their feelings Their style tends to intimidate people Strong eye contact may provide discomfort to others

Analytical Most perfectionist Set very high standards Seek to achieve and exceed standards

Used Well Over Used

Mover Autocratic

Independent Poor Collaborator

Result Oriented

Impersonal

Candid Abrasive

Pragmatic Shortsighted

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Pay much attention to details Very systematic and well-organized Very task oriented They want to be certain before taking decisions Like to be alone and prefer working alone Dress conservatively Body language is very low: speak slowly, less eye contact

and facial expression Lean back on chair when making decision They are the quietest, think before speak Very slow on deadlines, because they seek perfection and

certainty Focus on analysis than taking decisions Break points into, first, second, third…etc Talk about the facts than the feelings

Used Well Over Used

Prudent Indecisive

Painstaking Nitpicky

Task-oriented

Impersonal

Systematic Bureaucratic

Expressive The most energetic Like to be the center of attraction They don’t like to spend too long in one place Always use nonverbal communication and gesture Relate easily to strangers

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Prefer working with people They are dreamers and enjoy high imagination They hate details, look at the big picture instead Impulsive and spontaneous (act then think) Last-minute approach at deadlines Fun-seeker, playful They might turn people off by their one-sided conversation Think out loud Great story tellers People-oriented Very opinionated

Used Well Over Used

Spontaneity Hard to work with

Articulate Poor listener

Fast -Paced Impatient

Visionary Impractical

Fun - loving Distracting

Amiable• Team players• Encourage others to expand on their opinion• Very generous in their time• People-oriented • Tend to build relationships more easily • Security is their main concern• Sensitive to other people’s feeling

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• Perform best if you identify to them their role• They might get distracted from work by relating more to

people’s problems• When risk is involved, they delay taking decisions• Very patient with people • When angry, very slow to forgive and forget • Warm voice, low volume, speak slowly • Dislike conflict so much• As manager, they are very tolerant to employees’

inadequate performance• They avoid using authority at work

Used Well Over Used

Diplomatic Conflict avoider

Supportive lenient

People oriented Inattentive to task

FACTORS: EXPRESSER   DRIVER   Amiable ANALYTICAL

How to Recognize:

They get excited.

They like their own way; decisive & strong viewpoints.

They like positive attention, to be helpful & to be regarded warmly.

They seek a lot of data, ask many questions, behave methodically & systematically.

Tends to Ask:

Who? (the personal dominant question)

What (the results oriented question.)

Why? (the personal non-goal question.)

How? (the technical analytical question.)

What They Dislike:

Boring explanations/wasting time with too many facts.

Someone wasting their time trying to decide for

Rejection, treated impersonally, uncaring &

making an error, being unprepared, spontaneity.

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them.unfeeling attitudes.

Reacts to Pressure and Tension By:

"Selling" their ideas or argumentative.

Taking charge taking more control.

Becoming silent, withdraws, introspective.

Seeking more data & information.

Best way to Deal With:

Get excited with them. Show emotion.

Let them be in charge.

Be supportive; show you care.

Provide lots of data & information.

Likes To Be Measured By:

Applause, feedback, recognition.

Results, Goal-oriented.

Friends, close relationships.

Activity & busyness that leads to results.

Must Be Allowed To:

Get ahead quickly.  Likes challenges.

Get into a competitive situation. Likes to win.

Relax, feel, care, know you care.

make decisions at own pace, not cornered or pressured.

Will Improve With:

Recognition & some structure with which to reach the goal.

A position that requires cooperation with others.

A structure of goals & methods for achieving each goal.

Interpersonal and communication skills.

Likes to Save:

Effort they rely heavily on hunches, intuition, feelings.

Time. They like to be efficient, get things done now.

Relationships. Friendship means a lot to them.

Face. They hate to make an error, be wrong or get caught without enough info.

For Best Results:

Inspire them to bigger & better accomplishments.

Allow them freedom to do things their own way.

Care & provide detail, specific plans & activities to be accomplished.

Structure a framework or "track" to follow

References:

The 7 habits of highly effective people, Steven Covey Business & professional development, Thomson course technology Management 8th edition, Stephen p. Robbins and Mary Coulter/McGraw hill. Rothwell, Dan J. In the Company of Others: An Introduction to Communication.

New York: McGraw HillRetrieved from "http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Communication_noise"

New Horizons http:// www.mindtools.com http:// www.businessballs.com http://www.uthscsa.edu/gme/documents/Circles.pdf http://www.svpma.org/eventarchives/Personal%20Strategic%20Plans%20by

%20Kristi%20Royse.pdf

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http://www.selfesteem2go.com/self-confidence.html http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/10-ways-to-instantly-build-self-confidence/ http://arxiv.org/abs/0909.4043 http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/935413/

what_is_perception_checking_we_all_pg2.html?cat=41

www.hondu.com

http://www.queendom.com/tests/access_page/index.htm?idRegTest=675

http://www.cedanet.com/meta/communication_styles.htm from GST Telecom

http://ezinearticles.com/?How-to-Become-More-Assertive&id=2381557

Acknowledgement:

�Many thanks to these people who contributed in some of the topics in this guide & corresponding PPT: �

Eng. Sherine Bahader. Dr. Galal Nadim.